2704/Honnouji Academy First Annual Iron Fist Iron Chef Food Fight Cooking Contest

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Honnouji Academy First Annual Iron Fist Iron Chef Food Fight Cooking Contest
Date of Scene: 31 July 2015
Location: KLK Earth <KLK>
Synopsis: Nonon Jakuzure's make Yari's idea of a cooking contest a reality, but when extrapolated to Honnouji Academy, what could this mean!? Who will win!? IS THE FOOD EDIBLE!? All this and more!
Cast of Characters: 95, 140, 430, 626, 691, Sanary Rondel, 805, 826, 827


Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
The Honnouji Academy is abuzz with excitement. A different kind from the not forgotten Nautral's Election. There are streamers about, announcing a contest that, of all things, welcomed competitors from outside of the school. It may not have been the first one - yet it was the first one created with that in mind.

Why, the entire idea would not have existed had it not been for one overbearing Yari Takane. Nonon, however, will happily take all the credit.

A banner stretches from one side of the entry 'arch' (more like crevice) to the other, visible from quite a distance away, depending on how far down the mountain the others had come. However, that's barely important. The action takes place INSIDE Honnouji, the walls packed with school spirit.

The midsection of the Academy is not quite the dirt covered trodden down chunk as it usually is - then again, it only ever is that when things aren't going on. Today not being one of those days. A massive tiled floor, three 'stars' much like on the clothing of the uniforms connecting, just barely, as they stretch across the ground. On one side, the competitors - the 'cooking stations' lined up more like carts than the normal placed ones that such normal cooking contests may have. It almost seems lacking, being more of a collection of cooking utensils and a few places to put food. Where are the supplies? Where are the appliances? Where is the FOOD!?

The answer would be quite clear for those who had entered.

On the other side of the three stars, placed in a triangle around a small section of tile - and raised up a good forty feet - is Nonon Jakuzure, twirling a microphone. Not that she really needs one - though it's more attached to her hat, which is being used as a loudspeaker. "ATTENTION HONNOUJI ACADEMY~! I would like to thank Lady Satsuki for graciously allowing this extra-curricular activity. Which one? Why, that's obvious!" There is a pose, Nonon extending a hand, without the microphone outwards,

"The FIRST ANNUAL IRON FIST IRON CHEF FOOD FIGHT COOKING CONTEST!"
Slamming down on either side of the forty foot platform are the words, one after another stacked atop each other until they reach all the way up to Nonon as she announces it, word by word!

Sliding to the edge of the platform, Nonon kicks her legs as she continues. "In it, you'll have to test your skills against yourself, the environment AND each other, because it IS a competition! There's no blow too low, so you better not expect there to be many rules~. All that matters is that at the end of it, you're still standing and the food is edible! Meanwhile..."

"At the end, anything you cook will be placed before a panel of our three judges! I'm sure you know who they are - well, maybe?" There's a spotlight on the platform she sits on, a desk and three forms - Uzu, Inumata and Gamagoori, "They'll be forced to eat it~!" Another compelling reason why Mako's mother was barred. "They'll also vote on which is the best! So before we begin... COMPETITORS! Introduce yourselves!"

Bertram Silent (826) has posed:
Until the fighting part was mentioned, Bertram was dressed in a fairly typical looking chef's outfit. Kyra has seen it before, but after the announcement of the true nature of the contest is made? He starts concentrating, and the magic happens. White robes and a fancy, mace-like staff are summoned. He steps forward to introduce himself. "I am Bertram Silent from Eorzea, representing the Bismarck in Limsa Lominsa. As the Culinarian's Guild, we teach aspiring culinarians and provide the best cuisine Eorzea has to offer. I am but a journeyman, but I will not back down from winning this contest." And to accentuate his point, he casts two spells in quick succession. The first covers him in quickly fading a blue hex grid, the second in a thin layer of rock that stops being obvious quickly.

Kyra Hyral (626) has posed:
    What is the point of the Multiverse if not to have dimension-spanning high school contests!?

    Representing ALEXANDER ACADEMY is, unfortunately, Kyra Hyral. Unfortunate for anyone who actually knows anything about Kyra's cooking. It's pretty clear that she's not one of the students because she's opted to wear her Alexander Academy uniform! ...but she also has her hoodie over top of that with the hood drawn over her forehead. For no apparent reason, she's wearing a unicorn horn on her forehead plus a headband underneath it that appears to be a wearable camera. This camera, is in fact, livestreaming the whole event to her MogTube channel back on her home world. The front zipper of her hoodie is also drawn down to reveal not only the rest of her school uniform beneath but...

    Her weapons, first of all. Though her usual handgun has been replaced with an injection gun typically used to fill pastries. She also has a double set of bandoliers crossing her chest and half of what are usually vials of potions have been replaced with vials of spices.

    "I am Kyra Hyral of Alexander Academy in Galianda! I am a white mage, chemist, eventual doctor and /culinary harbinger of taste/." She puts her hands on her hips.

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
Yari Takane wouldn't miss this competition for anything. She suggested it, and her pride alone demands she attend. More than that? She /wants/ to be here. Clad in a customized set of leather armor, all looking like a chef's outfit (complete with hat!), she's adorned with kunai, grenades, garlean guns, and what appears to be a thompson sub machine gun in addition to her sword. Oh, and a dozen cooking utensils. One foot slams onto her 'cooking area' as the grand band member Nonon asks them introduce themselves. She snaps a hard salute, gun at the ready, teeth gritted as she pours her love for her country and food alike! It swiftly becomes a battle aura.

A glowing battle aura of culinary deliciousness that sends the ground and dirt around her flying as she unleashes her passion for the palette!

"I am Yari Takane, Centurion of the XIV Legion of the Garlean Empire! My passion for food can't be confined to a mere single style, but for the education of you all, I'll show the power of Garlean Cuisine!"

Twitch. Twitch twitch.

Then she's pointing to Bertram dramatically, waving around a butcher's knife!

"PARTICULARLY TO YOU EORZEAN BARBARIANS! SUBMIT TO THE MIGHT OF SUPERIOR GARLEAN TECHNOLOGY AND CULINARY TECHNIQUES!" Someone is fired up tonight.

Ryuko Matoi (140) has posed:
    Ryuko not only signs up, she shows up. No Senketsu, either. Just her casual clothes, and her guitar case slung over her shoulder. "Yo. Matoi Ryuko, second year student, Honnouji Academy. Fight Club founder, and vice-president. Looks like I'mma represent the school in the contest, huh?" She grins, smugly, of course, and stands ready for the contest to start.

"Whatever you got, throw it at me."

Wesley Wilson (827) has posed:
Wesley entered this competition because it seems like some kind of -fight-, even if it involves food. He's got his arms crossed, guitar on his back, dressed in his usual magical Megadeth t-shirt. When they're told to introduce themselves, he cracks his neck. "I'm Wesley Wilson, the future Fight God and God of Metal. I came here 'cause I figured there would be a fight, and I'm gonna, like, show you guys how we do this shit in Brooklyn. Oh and I'm the Son of Thor, since I'm supposed to represent my family and all that crap."

Sagat (95) has posed:
Sagat is not exactly a highly skilled cook. He's competent enough not to starve (or poison himself) when circumstances require him to camp out, but he's hardly in the running for 'gourmet martial artist of the year'. Honda, El Fuerte, and some of the other World Warriors can duke it out for THAT claim.

What he *is*, however, includes:

1) A very capable fighter.
2) A student at Honnouji Academy.
3) Capable of simple cooking-related tasks.
4) Here.

So he's not in this event to win any personal glory for his cooking skills, but he's prepared to lend a hand and protect the efforts of other cooks, if the rules allow for that sort of teamwork. "Sagat," he introduces himself brusquely when the microphone comes his way, "Honnouji Academy transfer student, and Muay Thai champion."

He looks at Ryuko. Is she a better cook than he is?

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     This was going to be good. Multiversal cuisine has almost never been bad in Sanary's experience, and a contest showcasing the best of the best couldn't possibly go wrong to be good! Sure, maybe there are already judges in place, but if those cooking shows she watched were any indication?

     Those judges probably wouldn't eat /everything/. Just a few bites before commenting. That meant somebody would have to clean up afterwards, right? She didn't say that when she offered her services, of course. She had a reputation as a medical expert to live up to, after all!

     And if one of the judges just so happened to not be able to actually finish judging partway through the contest... Well. She'd just have to perform double duty, wouldn't she?~

     And so, Sanary arrives in her usual excessively long white coat, standing off to the sidelines while sizing up each of the competitors. Some familiar, some not so, and... "Hey, Yari! You got this!"

     It's probably a good thing she isn't a judge. Impartiality is not her strong suit.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
    From high above the Honnouji courtyard, rays of light shine out, lighting up the sky with a brilliant, shimmering radiance. One could just be coincidence, two might just be the sun hitting a perfect angle, three leaves no doubt as to the situation about to unfold.

    The Queen of Honnouji is going to address her kingdom.

    It begins with a simple sound that seems to split the air itself, a step-CLACK of boots coming down, snapping into place. The tip of Bakuzan's sheath comes to rest on the edge of Satsuki's perch high above, a pair of hands resting on the pommel of the grip. The white-clad student council president stands amidst a radiant aura in silence, looking down severely.

    Gamagoori's voice rings out. "HONNOUJI ACADEMY STUDENTS!! Honnouji Academy Student Council President Satsuki Kiryuin has deigned to address us! SALUTE!!"

    As one, the student body does so.

    "No army can fight on an empty stomach," Satsuki begins, her voice loud without the aid of any address system. Her voice begins calm, but rises in conviction, in righteous furor, with every word. "Even the strongest, most dedicated warriors will wither and die without food to sustain them! Their will may carry them to Hell and back, but only the rations they bring with them will guarantee they return alive! And a well-made meal provides simple, unequivocal joy to all who partake in it... indeed, the supply of food can make or break the morale of an army! THEREFORE!"

    ~ THEME CHANGE: youtu.be/wSAp991JIVs?t=1m23s ~

    "NUTRITIOUS FOOD NOURISHES THE BODY! DELICIOUS FOOD NOURISHES THE SOUL! STUDENTS OF HONNOUJI ACADEMY, SHOW ME THE RESOLVE AND SKILL THAT CAN GIVE ARMIES STRENGTH TO MARCH THROUGH THE APOCALYPSE ITSELF!!"

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
After all the representation is done, Nonon twirls the mic once more, leaping up onto the desk that the three sit behind. She goes to speak - but Satsuki does before her.

This is surprising, even to her. There was no requirement for Lady Satsuki to do so! The very CLACK of Satsuki's boots causes her skin to have goose-bumps, even after so long. That is why she follows her. With every word, Nonon's grin spreads wide as she listens, saluting Satsuki as she does so! Of course she would not forget. Only when Satsuki's words finally cease to echo, her voice ceases to ring out, does Nonon dare speak again. "Lady Satsuki... I am honored you would make such an address~."

With zeal that can be readily seen, Nonon begins again! "Everyone here was invited because of their exceptional skills! Combat OR cooking - but you'll need both in the end! Let's all give them a round of applause, especially for those representing Honnouji - Sagat!~"

Did Ryuko really think Nonon, of all people, was going to be impartial? But wait, it's not over! "Next - the Honnouji Academy Cooking Club!" Three two-star members pose together, one large and round Jin, one small and midum sized Dai, and the third - tall and thin - Akiko. "The Maimu three! Jin, Akiko and Dai!" Each of them wield a utensil, a pan - a whisk - and a knife. The whisk is, oddly enough, wielded byu Jin.

"And finally Ryuko Matoi!" Even she gets a place, though you can tell Nonon means finally as in 'the least important'. It's only a good natured grudge, after all!

"This Contest will have three courses! Just as Lady Satsuki, a well cooked meal means everything! So expect to give EVERYTHING to make it! You may all be wondering where is the food? Well, today's theme is SURF and TURF!"

Nonon presses a button on the microphone. The front of the Academy seals up and water, from the surrounding island, begins to be pumped into it. Those watching carefully would notice /what/ is being pumped into it in addition. Tuna! Blowfish! Goldfish!? Carp! Octopi! SHARKS. PUGILS. And a Sea Monk. Yet only half of the academy seems to be filling with water as the other raises slightly, releasing Chickens, Turkeys, Pigs, Tigers, and of course what seems close to a Chimera - because it can.

The competitors are in neither 'zone' in the academy, but are right in between both. "So, FIRST COURSE! Begin~! Better pick what you'll be cooking before it's taken, or eaten, by someone or something out there!"

Ryuko Matoi (140) has posed:
    Ryuko is probably the only one who doesn't. She just stands there, arms crossed, with a scowl on her face as she glares up at Satsuki, once that lens flare becomes bearable. Nonon earns the same, though Ryuko has no issue offering her own taunt. She snorts a bit, then spits in the water, before taking off her jacket. Along with most of the rest of her clothes, till she's down to her skivvies. Not like Senketsu is any worse. And then out comes the Scissor Blade, but smaller. She's got it knife sized, and clenches it in her teeth, before diving into the water.

    She sees what she wants right away. Octopus, first. If it's surf and turf they want, it's surf and turf they'll get!

Bertram Silent (826) has posed:
Bertram yells back towards Yari, "Tell the Dirty Puppy that former XIVth Legion Medicus Bertram Silent has some poison ready whenever he wants it." The Dirty Puppy is /likely/ an insulting variant on The Black Wolf, AKA Gaius van Baelsar. "And that your savage empire and its barbarous armies will be kicked out of Ala Mhigo! Praise Rhalgr!" Oh yes, Bertram is not pulling blows, "Your vile overlords are practically Voidsent." Maybe, just maybe, this is personal.

Then, the contest starts, and Bertram is going right for Yari. Cooking can wait, spells are being cast. First, Aero. Then, Stone II. He's not afraid of making an excellent deal out of subpar ingredients, he's just taking the excuse to hassle the imperial.

Wesley Wilson (827) has posed:
Wesley crouches down, then makes a sudden leaps into the air before he lands with all the land animals that were just released. He looks around, grunting, then shrugs and goes running towards a cow. He stops and stares at it, then reaches under it to lift the massive animal above his head, starting to walk back to his station. "I'm takin' this cow."

Kyra Hyral (626) has posed:
    Not being from Honnouji, Kyra feels exactly zero inclination to salute Satsuki. It would be a DISHONOR to her school to acknowledge an enemy class president! Besides, this lady reminded her a little bit of Souji and that's no good.

    She's only mildly surprised as live animals and sea life are released into the arena. Obviously they wanted to have the /freshest/ ingredients imaginable. "-oooh!" Right away, Kyra casts Float on herself so she can hover above the water. She takes a length of rubber tubing, which she normally uses to tie off arteries, and ties it around a scalpel she removes from her boot. This makeshift, tiny harpoon is used to spear one of the blowfish for retrieval. It saves her a little pain of having to grasp the fish with her hands. "Hahaha, oh shit, the grudge is /real/." she comments as she sees Bertram go right for Yari.

Sagat (95) has posed:
How many of those species are endangered, anyway?

Well, it's not like sparing the occasional predator is going to do any of the competitors any favors. Sagat looks over the Turf area, frowning as he spots a tiger amongst the 'food' animals, then gives a similarly cursory look to the Surf side. Decisions, decisions ...

Well, shark fin soup is a thing. Sagat wastes no time in heading for the water, a running start that leads into a high leap and a snapping two-stage kick for the shark's snout and gill.

Then he just has to get the thing back onto land (or tile, as the case may be) before it recovers whatever it has for senses, and tries eating the Muay Thai fighter. Or anyone else, for that matter.

If he's got any plans to coordinate with the others, apparently he's putting first priority on 'procuring ingredients' and a lower rank on 'decide on recipes'.

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
It's hard to not be inspired by Satsuki Kiryuiin, even if she's not technically on the Honnoji team. Yari's been surrounded by amazing leaders all her life, and the woman /bleeds/ military strength and leadership. Knowing she's on her side only has her smiling. She snaps a sharp Garlean salute out of respect.

As if she wasn't inspired enough, Sanary shows her confidence verbally. Yari's grinning like a madwoman suddenly.

"I won't dissappoint you Sanary! Use your skills to ensure our judges aren't overwhelmed by the majesty of Garlean home cooking!" Likely not a good way to inspire confidence on the 'food poisoning' side. Or poison in general. It's totally a legit spice.

But despite the water, the delicious ingrediants, and her desire to do culinary battle, Bertram Silent insults Legatus, Legion, Empire, and by proxy her recently deceased Mother /and/ paints himself a traitor all in a few sentences. Her body completely relaxes for a moment as it all sinks in.

He couldn't have picked a worst time to speak such words, the sting of the attack upon her nation and the loss still an oozing wound.

Something in Yari Takane snaps as the rocks of magic fly at her, slamming into her body and pushing her back with a wave of water as the area fills with the stuff. Blood already seeps into her white chef's outfit. Aether gathers under her feet, keeping her sitting atop the water like a proper ninja. The air of the Aero spell comes for her, and she forms hand-seals. The veins in her eyes bulge, and then she's dodging the spells with obscene quickness as aether fuels her body, pushing her reflexes beyond their limits. Her hand goes for her sword, and then she rushes for Bertram with all the speed a ninja possesses, fueled by anger and pride.

Three octopi, four pigs, and one unfortunate chimera is slashed to pieces, the ingrediants flying back to her cooking area, all for having the gal to be in her way from trying to end Bertram's life.

"DIE AND SINK INTO THE VOID TRAITOR! WE'RE THE ONLY THING KEEPING HYDAELYN SAFE! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY US AND OUR MISSION! DISGUSTING EIKON-LOVING GARBAGE I WON'T LEAVE ANYTHING OF YOU LEFT!" Howls the Au ra, hateful, hurt, and now more than a little unhinged.

Ryuko Matoi (140) has posed:
    Well, nobody's bothering her. Sagat sure isn't, he's the only one in the water, and he has his eyes set on something else. So, a short time later, she manages to knife herself an octopus. Up for air, and she's back down into the water. Next? Well, some of the eel will do. She comes back up with some of those, and into the guitar case they go. She's got the surf. Now, for the turf.

She dives down onto the solid ground, and looks around for a pig. Oh, she's still wet and in her underwear, but has her scissor blade at full size, now. Here, piggy piggy!

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
"Looks like Ryuko's popular~. Maybe she'll make a better meal than a student!" As Ryuko dives into the water, there's something following her, not long after she got in! Sensketsu, 'Fresh Blood', is not the only one who wants a taste of Ryuko's fresh blood! The moment she touched the water the sharks begin to move towards her, tailing and surrounding her. The octopus, meanwhile, is rather large - sizable, even, and may already be inking in response to the sharks following Ryuko! It won't be easy, at any rate!

With Wilson grasping a cow close, he's not the only one that wants that cow! Two tigers leap infront of him, fangs and claws bared as they circle, one already trying to grasp the cow and pull it from his grasp! Not only would that ruin the meat, there could be all other kinds of issues! "Looks like beef is on the menu too, but for who!?" Nonon quips, eyes flickering to the next competitor!

Bertram... well, he gets into it with Yari! "A valid strategy~, Bertram wants one less person in direct competition - and before anyone asks, you cannot cook competitors~. Well, the judges will not /eat/ competitors. That is the only exception!" A very important one.

Kyra's strategy is a very valid one, as she floats above the water, spearing the fish with her hands and getting a nice supply of blowfish. Something is also floating atop the water - a Pugil. Which immediately screwdrivers into the water, skewering a skewererd blowfish! "Looks like Kyra's not the only one interested in those blowfish, or floating over water - isn't that fish supposed to be IN the water? Where did we get that thing, anyways!?"

Sagat, meanwhile KICKS a SHARK - one of them following Ryuko going belly up - and a few beginning to surround it instead! "He kicked a shark out." Nonon states as straight-faced as possible, "And also helps Ryuko!?" Yet something is floating in the way of Sagat as he tries to drag the shark back out. A Sea Monk, so named due to the numerous limbs /and the ability to use them/. Speaking of which, they lash out, like some kind of rekka! But will it get punished!?

Yari's PATH OF DESTRUCTION is straightforwards and effective, hunks of meat from creatures that didn't even KNOW they were in the way flying, but will quantity win over quality!? With pigs, octopi and the Chimera slashed to pieces... only one still stands. The Chimera, dying but not dead - which inhales and spits out an electrical orb towards Yari, since the tail, wings, and body have been either slashed up or are ragged! "Looks like that worked against Bertram! Yari pulls ahead, but she only has the ingrediants - she'll have to make use of them, too!"

Ryuko, meanwhile grabs herself an octopus, managing to escape the sharks! ( Sagat reasons! ) The pigs are starting to run wild, or be preyed upon by other creatures! Will she get one in time!?

Wesley Wilson (827) has posed:
Wesley immediately holds the cow up with one hand, apparently balancing it very nicely and constantly adjusting for the cow's movements. His apparent balance looks quite unnatural and rather against the laws of physics, but it's apparently being done.

"Freakin' tigers, this is a load of crap!" He holds his arm up when the first goes pouncing for the cow, then uses his arm as the sacrifice instead. Then he swipes his leg around to kick the second tiger in the head when it comes at him, trying to knock it out to the best of his ability.

But he's not trying to get the first tiger off of his arm, he's allowing it to gnaw and draw blood from his arm rather than ruin his cow, and he tries to walk back to his station with it attached to his limb. "This goddamned thing is bitin' me, I ain't tryin' to kill a tiger!"

Bertram Silent (826) has posed:
With Yari making such good work of the Chimera, Bertram decides to finish it in style. "THIS WILL BE A MERCY!" He states, before raising his Yagrush upwards next to it, a ball of light floating upwards before exploding in a flash of blinding, and painful, light. It should stun those animals nearby him, if they don't die from the holy energy itself, and dead or merely stunned, Bertram tries to bring the Chimera with him. He'll cast some more combat spells if he has to.

And when he gets back to his place, he makes sure to do one more thing. Stone II on Yari's cooking stall, to dirty /all/ the dishes with stone and dirt, while hopefully damaging some at the same time. That's not against the rules, right?

Kyra Hyral (626) has posed:
    Kyra keeps a beat-up looking canvas bag over a shoulder, where she deposits her steady supply of blowfish as she snares them. Though aware of the sudden grudgematch between Yari and Bertram that just spawned, she doesn't seem to interfere-at least not yet. She does call out an encouraging, "KICK HER ASS, BERTRAM!" she she works, spearing one last fish only to get it poached by the Pugil. She doesn't regonize that predatory fish in particular but she has vaguely heard stories about the 'drill fish' from Leviathan.

    "HEY!" she yelps as the other fish spears her fish, the movement dragging Kyra along behind the Pugil. Holding on to the 'leash', which stretches out pretty long because it's rubber, she works a hand down into one of the pouches at her waist where she withdraws a chalky-looking red brick. The white mage hurls it far ahead of the Pugil in the water where it bobs once then /explodes/, Kyra opting to round out her ingredients collection with a little blast fishing.

Ryuko Matoi (140) has posed:
    Sharks? Whatever. The time Ryuko spends in the water, she has no problems fighting them off. Punching, kicking, eye-gouging. She gets the point across that she's not an easy meal. The sharks decide she's definitely not worth the trouble. The octopus does ink her, but it's nothing that stops her from collecting it and the eels.

When it comes to the pig? Well, Ryuko first goes and chases off the tiger that's harassing one. But, the live ones are pretty hard to catch. So? She plays it smarter. She waits a bit, for one of the tigers to do the work for her. And, once the tiger does the hard part, she swoops in and fights the big cat off, punching and kicking at the big cat, before it gives up and finds something it won't need to fight over. A little work with her scissor, and she has what she needs.

Pork ribs!

Sagat (95) has posed:
So the ingredients are *attacking*, are they? This doesn't entirely take Sagat by surprise - he was expecting more trouble from his initial 'catch' ... and was not so much expecting the sharks to band together, particularly in pursuit of a classmate. That Sea Monk is a far bigger threat, though - literally and in other senses - and Sagat knows he's not going anywhere if that thing gets its tentacles around him. So he's not going to let it do that.

"*blub blubberblub*!"

Whatever Sagat was calling out is lost in the water - but the effect of it is not, as Sagat's fist rockets up into the Sea Monk's main body. The Emperor of Muay Thai can't do that without some kind of foothold, obviously, but the insensate shark will have to suffice for that. With physics working in his favor, the uppercut should not only knock the Sea Monk up out of the water and into the air, but - with physics working even MORE in his favor - should carry Sagat up into the air as well.

Fortunately, Ryuko seems well-equipped to fend for herself.

Now to get his NEW ingredients back to the 'kitchen' ...

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
There's a ball of lightning coming towards her, and a ball of holy light exploding at the poor chimera. Yari Takane is blinded, and then she barely manages to duck into a roll at the last minute, her back scraped by that ball of force. She's shocked, a little holy'd, and definitely needs a new set of armor. At least she has a cute back?

Scowling, she manages a rude gesture at Kyra for emphasis!

And then her meat is sullied. Bertram, oddly, isn't attacked at first as he makes his way back. Indeed, he gets all the way over there without harm.

Which is exactly when three things happen. First, Yari Takane kicks a lavashark(!?!?) into the air. Second, there's a kunai flying towards Bertram's cart. Not at him, the cart. There's something attached to it.

Third, a grenade goes flying from Yari's hand towards her own cart, cooking away dirt, and likely broiling slashed flesh with a ceruleum explosion. It's totally a legitimate cooking technique.

That kunai's attachment turns out to be a poison-bomb that starts to spew paralytic chemicals into the air. Hopefully Bertram can do something about that.

Meanwhile, the enraged Yari ends up at her own cart, starting to carve off dirty bits, and then get ready to cook!

"THIS ISN'T OVER YOU CHEATING TRAITOR!" Fine words from a ninja.

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
Wesley /ignores the tigers/. That's amazing, really - Nonon is honestly not sure what to say. "Wesley is focused on his cooking, but it looks like he's going to be feeding the tigers and not our judges at this rate!" Nonon declares as she watches on. She's not entirely sure what he is trying to do, but the tigers continue to be dragged, or chase after. Like they were attacking a hippo! Not that Wesley is a hippo.

Bertram finishes the Chimera, and the chickens ( that have not been eaten ) as well as the other animals, the smaller dying instantly, the larger either retreating or being stunned, falling over. However, Bertram throws the second stone, the dishes and stall damaged - it was /not/ against the rules. "Bertram continuing to focus on knocking out a rival! Looks like he's also making use of her work, too! Will he keep it up though!?"

Kyra's own problems, going water skii-ing is not one of them! Infact, it gets her some nice pugil meat as well! "Looks like the ingrediants are rounding out now, with Kyra getting a lot more fish than planned! Nets just aren't going to cut it here~."

Ryuko's own work is violent, brutal, and totally Ryuko! Infact, the eels and octopus are collected while she leaves a trail of destruction.

Meanwhile, the SEA MONK explores out of the water, spinning rapidly as it's knocked out, Sagat and the Sea Monk traveling through the air as Nonon points to it. "Just LOOK at that folks, I'm not even going to ADD anything to that!" Sagat's catch is wonderful.

Yari's own work is not to be ignored, though - as a LAVASHARK!? is kicked into the air!? With more rival to rival action, as Yari responds, the food ... well, it's about time!

"SECOND COURSE!" The water drains away, the animals suddenly afraid as, even the tiger, detatches. Since the ground between the three black stars on the ground /pulls back/, a chunk of tile and machinery rising. In the middle massive metal utensils -pans and pots of all kinds. Around them? Just normal tile - until the ground erupts in flame, gouts of fire shooting up and revealing the metallic 'grill' like ground, the only safe spot, the very middle.

"KING OF THE GRILL!"

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
In no surprise, the words crash down as well, before the fire leaps up and burns the words away!

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     "So this is how cooking contests work out here... Huh." Sweating just a bit at the... Original methods employed by each of the competitors, Sanary's fast on her feet as she hurries over to where the judges await the fruits of the contest! The meaty, fishy fruits that contain no actual fruit. Up close, they're... Distinctly more human-looking than the last time she had seen them. Definitely not as frightening as what was going on in the arena, at least.

     "Hey. Uh. So... Am I not supposed to get in there unless it's for life-threatening stuff?" She glances from the three judges to Satsuki, then to Nonon, then to the mass of death, dismemberment, and flying explosions. Just who's actually in charge of this thing, anyway? It was probably Nonon or Satsuki, but the healer can't really tell just yet.

     "Or... Hnn. No, I gotta be impartial for this, right?" There's clearly some concern on her face for that whole exchange between Yari and Betram, fighting the urge to get in there herself. "Keep your guard up, Yari! Let 'em waste their breaths!"

     Alas, this is not her battle to fight. Short of stopping anyone from actually getting killed, Sanary still has to be physically neutral about this whole thing.

Sagat (95) has posed:
"HEADS UP!!" roars Sagat as the 'grill' is revealed - and the reason for his warning is quickly made evident, as he lands on the tile JUST long enough to fling his captured Sea Monk, sending it flying towards the grilling area.

Then he charges in after the flung sea monster, because if he just leaves it to cook then it's going to burn. He grabs a couple of utensils before leaping across the flames, getting singed a bit en route - but he has to do it.

More specifically, he has to start preparing that freaking Sea Monk: gut it, clean it, maybe skin it, definitely cut away the inedible parts from the edible. He's going to be playing this by ear - but it definitely won't be the most dangerous food he's ever had dealings with ...

"Are these poisonous?" he inquires of Yari at seemingly random on his way past, pointing a serrated-edged spatula towards the stunned-and-hopefully-now-cooking Sea Monk.

He'll play the REST of it by ear, but if there are poison sacs that should be identified and removed, it's probably best to prioritize that just so the poison doesn't have a chance to leach into the edible parts.

Bertram Silent (826) has posed:
Bertram's defense against poison is a seemingly impossibly quick stoneskin around the stall, preventing part of it from passing through. What is left is resolved by an Esuna and throwing away what cannot be salvaged. Then, the /fire./ Regen is used to keep him comfortable as he gets uncomfortably close to give the Chimera steak a /good/ burn on the outside, fast so it won't go too deep. Then he slices and dices the chicken while on the fire, and tries to sneak in a pulse of water to shove Yari right into the center of the fire.

Kyra Hyral (626) has posed:
    Kyra will scoop up some of that Pugil meat too! Quickly, though, because once she's reclaimed that protein, she quickly goes to poach a land animal-or more accurately, Kyra scavenges from Yuri's rampage. Specifically, she scoops up the severed snake tail of the Chimera that the ninja butchered vehemently. Hastily, she stuffs that into her now very bloody sack of meat.

    Cheerfully, she moves towards the tower of pots and pans, slapping Bertram on the back. "Haha, nice one so far, right? Don't let the Garlean scum get to you too much. I've had your cooking so I know you can beat her." she encourages the man before the arena shifts and the big pile of kitchen machinery appears in the center. "Well that's kind of weir-OH SHIT!" Kyra flings herself onto the utensil pile because her catching on fire is probably going to set off the other explosives she's carrying! And that would be bad!

    She scrambles up the side. "Quell the heat of flames, let skin remain unsinged, Barfire!" she chants, placing the spell not only on herself but the piece of Pugil she pulls out of the bag. She tosses the meaty fish back on the grill, now protected and roasting at half-speed on the flames roaring around the arena.

    While that cooks, she pulls a cutting board out of the pile along with some nice knives so she can start carefully cutting up the blowfish and chimera snake, both of which have their own poison hazards inside a chef needs to worry about. Ready meats get tossed into a bowl.

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
Yari has her ingrediants, they're 'cooked', and she's alive. For Honnoji Academy, that's a triumph in and of itself.

Also there's a very athletic Sagat running past her as she's loading up her ingredient cart (painfully) upon her burnt back.

She pauses, not looking at the explosion-flames like a badass, and rubs her chin.

Hmmm. That is a massive creature. There's legitimate respect in her gaze and voice to Sagat.

"No, nothing at least I'm familiar with. Typically you can spot them after a cut or two. Just look out for slightly darker, round portions of flesh once you get to the dicing and deboning part. Be careful if you see any tube-like structures attached to them. Then you know you have a poison system native to the creature." Adds Yari sagely, as a proper poisons expert as she's ninja-running with an ingrediants cart upon her back.

All the while hissing and making lizardy noises as her feet are singed by fire, slowed down by hauling her precious ingredients to the center. She leaps about, cursing, yelping in pain, but she ends up in the middle with tears in her eyes and feet in sore need of bandages and massages.

Thunk. Down goes the cart. Her back has one heck of a crik by now.

Then she stands up tall!

"My guard is never down! I can do this!" She has a great person on the sidelines believing in her! How can she do anything but!?

And then water catches her in the back, and in a desperate move, she blocks the blow with her body! It hurts, horribly, but she crashes right into her cart! Meat goes flying, and down upon the grill! She recovers mid-air from the assault, riding the oddly wooden ingredients cart along the grill itself! Even as her new conveyance lights on fire, her purloined set of cooking utensils go to work! Meat is sliced, flipped, seared as she cooks the massive pile of meat! With a plate in her mouth, she catches each finished ingredient after it's been well and truly seared to light, fluffy perfection! Medium-rare, just how she likes it.

The very metal ride of cooking ends as she finally maneuvers back around with aetheric ninja lightning bursts, neck screaming in pain as she collapses back to the proper chef's area with a massive plate of meat. The ninja has somewhere along the line managed to grab some rice, too, stir-frying it along with the meat.

The best of chop suey for the Judges today!

Ryuko Matoi (140) has posed:
    Ryuko, likewise, is soon making her way to the grill, alongside Sagat. "Woah. Dude." She chuckles, as she sees just what he'd managed to fish out of the water. Quite literally, even. "Nice." She opens her guitar case, tosses her seafood on, and goes to work. Probably good, in hindsight, that she did strip down. This is hot! Wiping her brow, she goes to work on the pig, now, as well as the seafood, which is mostly done, by now. While that's going on, she leaps up and over to the other side, grabbing a few of the utensils and ingredients that she needs, before jumping back over.

With the octopus done, she chops that up, and starts whipping up some batter to go with it. And into a tray that goes, and on the grill. As for the pork ribs? A ton of spices. Like, a lot of different stuff. Doesn't take long for her to whip up some sort of sauce, either. And while the ribs are cooking?

"Don't burn the shit outta yer gobs, alright? These're hot." She tosses up that tray to the judges. Takoyaki!

Wesley Wilson (827) has posed:
Wesley's arm is bleeding, and so is his leg. He sits the cow down for a moment, then rips the bottom of his shirt to wrap tightly around his arm wound. The leg one isn't quite as bad, so he leaves it alone. Though as he lifts the cow over his head with both hands again, heading to the edge of the grill, he stares up at it in confusion. "Wait, am I supposed to butcher the cow myself? I don't know how to do all that. Which part is the steak?! And I didn't get a fish! Somebody give me a fish!"

He waits a moment, though, staring up at the cow. "Wait... I'd know the steak when I saw it, so like, I think there's an easy way to do this... Sorry, cow, I'll ask my dad to take your soul to Valhalla or somethin'." He bends his arms, then thrusts them up, tossing the cow high into the air with a 'moooooooooooo'.

He pulls his guitar in front of him as the cow continues to ascend, then he starts to play a pretty goddamned sick speed metal solo. "I'll make it quick!"

The clouds begin to darken, thunder booming like the drums of a metal song. "Alright, let's do it! I'll put a ton of divine energy into butcherin' this cow!"

When it's ready, he leaps into the air, the wind carrying him up behind the cow. There's a series of lightning strikes and the sound of chopping can be heard high in the air, with flashes and booms.

Then there's a sudden rain of meat. Ribs fall onto the grill, along with steaks and other cuts of beef. They're not exactly butcher good cuts, but he cut the cow up until he could actually recognize what things actually were.

As he descends, he's singled out a single, large cut of steak in front of his eyes, and he swings his guitar behind him. "I call on the power of Bon Scott, the Saint of Rock!" Then he aims his guitar at the large chunk of steak, and aims a bolt of lightning to send it sizzling down into the grill.

When he lands, he crouches in front of it, staring at the meat. "This piece of steak is mine, you guys can have the rest." he instructs, then grabs a little red pepper and all purpose seasoning to sprinkle onto his steak.

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
"Eh?" Nonon lowers her mic for a second, as Sanary asks. "You really don't need to get in there at all." Nonon remarks, grinning to Sanary. "If one of them perishes, well, that just highlights how brutal Honnouji can be." She states to Sanary, matter-of-factly. "This is how they work here, for now." She admits, "Because if it was just about the food, it wouldn't be enough for the Academy. You have to have the skills of a cook, but also the heart of a warrior. Though you'd probably be fine three-fourths warrior, actually~. I'm not the one eating it~."

The mic is held back up, as Sagat continues to leave Nonon searching for words. No WONDER he is part of Honnouji. "Sagat charges right into the flames! I can't tell if he's preparing it and cooking it or using it as a punching bag!" Flatly, "No, I really can't, do we have a way to do a close-up?"

Meanwhile, Ryuko manages to start cooking the food on the edge of the grill. To use the GRILL itself, in the opening, is a risky move! Risky enough that of course that Jin of the Maimu trio, but Ryuko's mad-dash causes him to spin out, leaving the whisk wielding gentleman to roll into the fire as if he couldn't even touch her! Then again, that is better than SOME two stars have managed!

Bertram's attempt to stay on the edge of the fire is noticed by another of the Maimu trio - a pan suddenly clattering against the grill, the pan filled with - oil. The oil splatters agains tthe chicken and steak, but the goal is actually to get most of it on Bertram. Akiko standing on the grill with no adverse effects - infact, the goku uniform seems to be made for heat resiliance. "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen! Infact, just stay out of the contest!" The pan slams down, fire shooting up, hitting the oiled pan, and causing a massive gout of fire to erupt towards Bertram!

Kyra manages to quell the fire as she begins to cut, carefully. Everything is fine except for the fact there's now a massive knife raised above her head. The fire dances about it, "So, nice of you to make the food for us. We'll be sure to come out on top with it." The fire won't matter due to bar-fire, but his knife is far larger than Kyra's! Dai stands before her, almost generic if it wasn't for the sharp nose he has!

Those that are finishing up are getting their food before the judges! Ryuko manages to get the first food to the judges, tying with Yari! "No WAY." Nonon exclaims, seeing the first food make it's way to the platform she is on, "In a STUNNING upset, Ryuko proves she can COOK. WHO KNEW! I'm just glad I don't have to eat it! She's also tied with Yari Takane, though Yari's plan, quantity doesn't mean she's sacrificing quality! But can Yari stand until the very end!? You can't get your results laying down~." OH, NEW RULES.

Wesley goes from cow to STEAK in just a moment, "Nonon twisting around to point towards the raining cow. "Udderly impressive~! Looks like the best kind of fast food you'll get~! That makes the third entrant to the judges so far!

A steak from Wesley, Chop Suey from Yari, and so far, Takoyaki from Ryuko! The food is set before judges! Nonon slides the Takoyaki towards Uzu, of course. Who takes his first bite. 'Don't burn your gob'. There is a half choking and half chewing. He WILL prevail - but Uzu is ALSO sensative to heat. Yet it isn't being spit out?! Did Nonon's plan backfire!? Does Uzu like it!? Gamagoori begins with a small cut of steak, and Inumata's face-plate slides away, as he takes a bit chop suey to test his palate!

Ryuko Matoi (140) has posed:
    Ryuko has a smug grin on her face. Yep.

She's working on those ribs, still, and she's roasting them up good, too. It takes time, though, to get them just right. One reason why she started off with something that wouldn't. Can't rush meat. Gotta work with it, and all. But, pork's not exactly difficult to manage, either. She tosses sauce on them now and then, turns them, and eventually takes them off.

A bit of ginger, some scallions, and voila. Ryuko's been to a ton of resturants before, and by far, this is probably one of her favorite things in the world. No wonder she's learned how to cook it for herself. Korean BBQ ribs? Can't beat that. It's a shame everyone here's underage and at school, because a beer would be great with these.

Wesley Wilson (827) has posed:
It's hot, being this close to the grill, so at some point Wesley starts to sort of bleed from all his pores, until the blood coats his skin and shifts to a shiny chrome-colored armor. "This shit's way too hot." he says before he does indeed finish his steak to present to the judges.

It's by no means cooked by a master chef. It's cooked by a guy from Brooklyn who's helped with a million summer cookouts. Medium rare, nicely seasoned, but with a nice crisp around the edges from getting shot with divine lightning.

Kyra Hyral (626) has posed:
    "Huh?" Kyra looks up as a shadow falls over her cutting board to find Dai looming over her, poised, with that huge knife of his. With an angry shout, she suddenly flips the cutting board upwards, sending blowfish juice, snake blood, and at least two different kinds of venom splattering everywhere. She uses it as a shield when Dai brings the knife down though the blow is heavy enough to split it in half. It carries through the board and actually gets Kyra in the arm though at this moment, she's just thankful it wasn't her skull. Hissing, she snatches a flask off of her belt and flings it straight at Dai. The brown liquid sloshing around within has a very...pungent odor to it that smells like something out of a bathroom. The contents of the vial is, in fact, a very virulent strain of Ecoli that has an /extremely/ shortened lifecycle, measured in minutes, though the effects of contracting it are also crammed into those minutes.

    Kyra snatches up her bowl afterwards and runs down the pile to retrieve her other cooking fish. Spices are thrown into the bowl, mostly cumin and chili flakes, with reckless abandon. A flask of light brown liquid (chicken broth, turns out) is emptied into the bowl. Edging back over to the fire, Kyra actually holds out the bowl over the flames to boil the soup.

    "You want this, Honnouji!?" she yells at Dai. "You're gonna have to come /take/ it from me!!!"

Bertram Silent (826) has posed:
Bertram is a trained soldier, a practiced adventurer, and a wanted deserter. He knows how to handle sneak attacks. He uses the fire that rains down on him to give his chicken just that little extra spice. Sure, he gets hit by it too, but the burns aren't too bad. "SICKNESS MUST BE PURGED! He yells as he responds to the attempt to sabotage him by summoning cutting winds to wear down his would be assailant.

And as he heads in to deliver his meal, he hears the rule that has been put in place regarding contestants and laying down. A barrage of rock is called forth, followed by more cutting winds. "FILTHY RAT! BE DONE WITH YOU!"

Then he places his own meal in front of the judges, covered up for now. "AND NOW THE FINAL CURTAIN!" At this point, he reveals the chimera steak, chicken pieces in sweet sauce, with a side salad. Where the spices and vegetables came from? Hard to tell, perhaps he magicked them in, or it's Eorzean inventory tricks, or perhaps just pockets, regardless, the meal is complete.

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     That makes her job easier, at least! Considering what she had seen before, Sanary can't really find herself disagreeing with anything Nonon says. "True, true... Hmm. This place definitely ain't anything like Alexander. Maybe... Ah, they'll just have to survive through this if they want any post-contest healing, then." She laughs broadly and observes the chaos unfolding, seemingly re-energized by Nonon's response.

     Not that she necessarily did anything during the contest, but still. She mutters into her radio briefly before crossing her arms over her chest, not-so-subtly trying to mimic those dramatic poses she's seen so much from people around here in the past.

     "Make sure you all get through this alive, people! Put your backs into it, and I'll worry about fixing you up afterwards!" She practically bellows that out, looking from contestant to contestant to try and mimic that tone Satsuki had a while back. She had to admit: That lady had /presence/.

Sagat (95) has posed:
There's probably no way Sagat is going to get three good dishes out of this, unless he has substantially more time to work with than he thinks he does.

What he DOES have time to do is thank Yari on the way past, and once he gets into the grilling area, he does indeed start slicing into the Sea Monk - starting with what passes for the creature's head, since most venomous creatures USUALLY have their poisonous bits associated with the parts they use for biting prey. Some judiciously delicate fileting should reveal whether there's poison which needs to be removed.

If there is, then the poison glands just get tossed into the flames around the grilling area. Easy way to dispose of them, and it might throw some of the opposition off-stride a bit. Or it might blow up in Sagat's face as incinerated poison fumes blow back towards him ...

Either way, he keeps working his way through the Sea Monk, slicing and cleaning and deboning; anything else that he deems unsuitably inedible also gets tossed towards the peripheral flames. Even if they DID die down after the initial ignition. He procures a couple of skillets and starts adding oil to help their eventual contents cook without sticking ... and then slabs of Sea Monk flesh go into the skillets once the oil's been heated. Dollops of different sauces are added for seasoning - nothing TOO wild: soy for one, Worcestershire for another ...

Then he leaves the skillets (and the rest of the presumed-edible Sea Monk) to sautee or roast, as the case may be, and ventures onto the Turf to try and collect something else. He's munching on a bite of (relatively raw) Sea Monk as he goes, evaluating the taste and perhaps trying to determine what would complement it well enough to be worth the trouble. He can't afford much time -

And he doesn't take much, as he almost accidentally stomps on a turkey's neck. A chicken is seized as well, also by the neck, and Sagat hurries back to his cooking station to see what he can do with them on short notice ...

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
Bone-jarring rocks, cutting wind, it all slams into Yari. The lithe ninjette is barely on her feet as the barrage ends, bleeding and looking absolutely horrible. Her chef's outfit is stained red with her blood!

Then she chugs down a hi-potion like a proper final fantasy character, and throws the bottle on the ground! Shatter!

"It takes more than that to take me down, Eorzean scum!" She calls out as Sanary's and Lute's words reach her over radio and air alike! She slams down her katana, barely keeping on her feet, using the thing as a crutch.

"My heart and blood are the iron of Garlea! My cooking is the soul and fire of Doma! HYDAELYN WILL NEVER FALL!" Cries out Yari in culinary triumph as her food is being devoured, and she /peers/ into the nerdy judge's eyes for reactions.

Her tail meanwhile quietly chucks a grenade at Bertram. Mostly out of spite more than strategy.

She also blinks, sniffs at Ryuko's work, and ponders. There's a slow, pained thumbs up.

"....You could go far with those skills of yours." She compliments, barely resisting biting into some of the other delicious dishes herself.

Notably, somehow, the ninja has managed to acquire herself a beer in the spirit of korean bbq. Slurp. Bleed.

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
It's going so right, and yet, somehow, Ryuko made it to the end and, the taste-buds of Uzu are not immediately rejecting it! "Of course the monkey likes it." She exclaims, with a sigh. Yet Ryuko still keeps on cooking, and cook she does! Finally, rolling to his feet, Jin, just as round as he is tall, raises his whisk. "You're not going to finish though! We'll win this and that'll be our three star!" 'Our' - as if three stars would be made for all three! Yet Jin, with the whisk, swings it down towards Ryuko, aiming to 'whisk' her away. Can she deal with him without letting the food burn!?

Wesley, suddenly an IRON Man (rather chrome) gets an eye opening stare from Nonon, who is peering at him. "...Wasn't that blood?" She asks, almost curiously.

The cutting board is flipped upwards, blowfish juice, blood, and venom - ALL THE VENOM - is sent towards him, Dai slamming the knife through the board! The fire manages to catch a lot of it, causing all but the worst to at least mostly disperse. "Won't be that easy!" Of course Kyra, hissing, chucks a flask straight towards him. The blade becomes heavy as Dai feels his insides wanting to come out, the Honnouji student hacking and coughing as he pulls himself forwards, "This is .. where we ... shine! The HEART OF A CHEF.... FORGED in the fire!" He declares, blade swinging lazily - yet as hard as he can, aimed towards that bowl - to at least ruin her dreams!

Bertram of course aims to take out Yari! But not before Akiko is shorn by the wind, the fire blown out of the Maimu's burning heart, slashing and tearing at her - and also blowing some oil onto her! She's out of there! To knock Yari down right when she might end up at the top of the class, now, is Bertram's aim! His meal is delivered, a Chimera steak, with salad and spices, and sweet sauce!

Sagat's assault on Sea Monk goes swimmingly, and his cooking skills, surprising! Perhaps he is a chef of Muay Thai!? If there could be such a thing. Yet time IS getting close! Can he manage!? With both birds grasped by their necks, it is possible he might be edging it close! "Sagat's STILL cooking - just one meal isn't good enough for him!" Nonon declares, "And Kyra seems to be getting the best out of one of the trio - but can the self titled Bronze Chefs forge themselves into Iron!?"

Yari chugs hi-potion after beer!

The meals are set! Some still to come, others being gnawed at. Finally, Uzu stands up. "I've bested your Takoyaki! A duel I shall not forget. But I hunger for more." Either he's playing it up, or literately he charged in, mouth first, to the meal. The steak is chewed into, and rough as it is, Gamagoori nods. "Delicious!" He bellows, "A bit rough, but it has a divine, buzzing taste! I have never tasted it before!" Maybe it is still a little electrified? Inumata is more reserved though, taking a small chunk of chop suey and finishing it. "Yes... mixed flavors, mmm, about 60 percent pork, 10 percent something else and 20... hmm, octopus? Bold, but delicious. The juices work well with the rice too, and the spices do well with the mixture. I have to analyze this a bit further." Another bite!

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
Uzu sets upon the chimera steak, the next challenge awaits to satisfy his hunger! It is ... surprising, to say the least, at first bite. It is most definitely not the Takoyaki, but it has something more - like a /trained/ chef actually entered. There is no battle here - it is a pure offensive of flavor.

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
To Sanary, Nonon stands nearby. "Yeah? Well, I was hoping they'd fight right infront of the three, too~. That everyone made it here was a surprise -" She glances down at the three two-stars, "Well, almost. Looke like there won't be a cooking club though unless something changes~." She doesn't even seem phased. As if that was part of the plan! There's a bit of a smirk when she sees Sanary try to copy Satsuki!

Wesley Wilson (827) has posed:
"Yeah it's cool, I'm half god, I can sweat my blood turn it into armor." Wesley casually explains, listening to Gamagoori's assessment of his steak. "That's probably the lightning. I figured if I hit it with lightning, I could give it a crisp. And, like, in America, we love medium rare steak. Eatin' steak with a little blood is masculine as fuck." he states as the armor clinging to his skin just sort of evaporates from his body, now that he doesn't need to protect himself from the heat.

He looks down at his arm, checking the wrapped up wound. "I could like, make Sloppy Joes for you dudes some time."

Ryuko Matoi (140) has posed:
    Well, Ryuko's just fine using her scissor blade, but she needs to worry about those ribs, still. "Hey! Piss off, they ain't done yet!" She brings up her weapon in one hand to block the attack, and keeps using a pair of tongs to manage those ribs with the other. She does reach up with those hot tongs, and swats at the offending two-star chef, until they're /finally/ done. Tossing them onto a plate, Ryuko heaves the plate up to the judges.

"Knock yer'selves out. Again, it's hot as hell. So, y'know."

Kyra Hyral (626) has posed:
    That bowl Kyra holds is /really/ heating up. Had she not cast barfire on herself, holding it like this would probably sear her hand off. "-what, you're /still/ up!?" Kyra shouts incredulously as Dai comes flailing at her. Rather than lose the soup she has been toiling over so far, she moves her own body in the way of the knife to shield her culinary masterpiece from a disasterous upset. She blocks it with her body at the expense of being knifed in the back.

    Kyra doesn't stick around to respond or get stuck with a knife again. She forces herself away from Dai, moving slower now between the two wounds until she can mutter the incantation to a Cura spell on herself. She grabs the Pirgil and staggers over to 'plate'. Or bowl, rather, as she pours the 'soup' into the bowls, settling a piece of the grill-cooked fish on top of each.

    "It's a carnivore-style fruits of the sea soup. There is no vegetable in sight in this matterhorn of meat." she explains. This soup is also:

1. Extra spicy
2. Extra poisonous
3. A health hazard

    Sanary might want to be ready to administer emergency healthcare.

Sagat (95) has posed:
It's not like Sagat is entirely unfamiliar with fighting against a time limit; after all, the standard 'destroy a car with your fighting skills alone' demonstration has a rather stringent time limit associated with it, or there wouldn't BE a challenge for most of his world's elite street fighters. On the other hand, trying to cook against the clock when he's making up for lost time ...

Eh, he just needs to make it all edible. There may be leftovers.

The fact that the Sea Monk sautees are starting to smell good enough to make him hungry is a promising sign; the one-eyed Thai fighter allows his hunger to spur him onwards as he divides his attention between preparing the poultry and attending to the seafood. Some additional spices and seasonings are added - one skillet's contents will have a relatively consistent Asian flavor, albeit fairly mild and not as spicy as some people seem to think is ideal. The second will be more European in palate, and this is the one which Sagat sees fit to garnish with a fair supply of ground black pepper, glancing at the available condiments to see what else might go properly on either of those ...

Or on the chicken or the turkey. Since he doesn't have time to properly pluck the birds, Sagat settles for slicing away as much of the skin as he can, disassembling the wings and breasts into a stock pot, turning the heat up high and dropping the thighs and drumsticks in, along with a variety of herbs. No, he's not a properly-trained cook, but he knows what he likes.

... which might be a warning sign of some sort to the genre-savvy, if you think about it hard enough.

He starts taking up while the 'soup' is going, bringing slabs of sauteed East Asian and West European Sea Monk to the judging table of the Elite Four Minus One, then doubles back to poke at the soup. Or stew. Whatever it turns out to be in the end.

An egg is also added to the soup, cracked open as if to poach it, and Sagat gauges the time by how much the egg has firmed up. The soup - if you can CALL it soup; it's going to be more like braised (or more accurately, parboiled?) chicken/turkey thighs and drumsticks than a proper soup or stew or whatever - is brought back to the table *RIGHT* as time runs out ...

And Sagat shows no signs of caring whether it's counted as 'done in time' or not. He gave the challenge his best effort on no real preparation, he survived the experience relatively unscathed, and it's hard to believe his dishes are the *WORST* of the lot. Particularly given that Kyra's soup looks like it should be glowing ...

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
With her own food done, Yari's managed to hobble over to Sagat. She watches, and licks her lizardy chops, stomach grumbling. Some of those leftovers are thieved like a proper member of the Frumentarium, Yari using a pair of unpoisoned kunai as chopsticks. Nomf. Nomf.

As it turns out, Sagat's not bad in her taste.

"...You've missed your calling I think." Nomf. Siiip beer. Despite the pain, the bleeding, tonight is a good night.

Nonon Jakuzure (805) has posed:
Gamagoori's attention to Wesley is with a nod. "Lightning? An odd choice for flavoring and spice, but it has its merits!" Clearly bonus points for originality! It is unlikely Gamagoori will ever, on purpose, taste lightning again.

"Hey! No bribing the judges based on .... well, actually that wasn't a rule, was it?" She thinks outloud, Nonon tilting her head. "I'll allow it~. Lightning and armor blood? So does you blood conduct it?" Which may throw a couple of points onto it!

Meanwhile, Ryuko fends off Jin, causing him to tumble once more - the blade managing to almost effortlessly fend off a single two star! She could probably do it in her sleep these days, actually. Jin is sent rolling off once more to crash into Akiko as Ryuko's food gets put on the menu for the judges - GAMAGOORI to be precise!

With Kyra managing to TAKE A SHIV to get her food, Nonon must commentate on that! "Look at that, wiling to take a blade in the back to ensure our judges are fed! Such dedication to the contest!" Even if she heals herself, it is NO LESS impressive! Especially as Kyra places it before the judges!

Finally, Sagat gets his food in at the same time as Kyra's - Sea Monk slab - both East Asian and West European. The Stewp is brought before them as well.

With Uzu finishing his second course, it is met with praises. "Didn't expect this kind of quality from this! That's got to be the best one yet! NEXT!" Which is where Nonon slides him Kyra's bowl. "This one's perfect for you~."

Gamagoori's meal, that is, Ryuko's pork-ribs, are not, once more, eaten cold! "MATOI! I appreciate the warning. BUT I SHALL ENDURE!" Endure he does, Gamagoori tearing into the meal despite the heat that burns at his mouth. He has /survived/ far worse, the heat shall not deter him! It is, of course, delicious. Like a family meal, actually. Perhaps not the same as a professional chef, but not, after all, bad!

Inumata is left Sagat's, as he takes a forkful from the two types of Sea Monk, piece by piece. "Hmmm... yes, cooking them seperately and preparing them as opposing flavors. I must say I like one more than the other, but .. hmm?" The stewp is poked at, even tried. "...Interesting. It appears edible." A closer examination is done, leading to him putting it into his mouth. "Yes, it certainly is. Better than I had expected."

Finally... Uzu tastes Kyra's. Or would, if it didn't get close to his mouth that he could TASTE the death. "...If the other meal almost brought me to heaven, this would seal the deal." He notes, before the fumes alone cause him to go face first into the dish. "....AND THERE YOU HAVE IT!" Nonon exclaims!

"HONNOUJI'S FIRST ANNUAL IRON FIST IRON CHEF FOOD FIGHT COOKING CONTEST HAS CONCLUDED! The winner, by a slight margin, was... A TIE Bertram Silent and Yari Takane, not only a capable cooks, but willing to use everything at their disposal to win! AS COOKING WAS A BATTLEFIELD, they were the masters of it! ... Are you serious? IN SECOND, RYUKO MATOI! Apparently her food was NOT complete trash - wait it was good? - and managed to overcome the competition! Tied for Third is Wesley Wilson, who provided a taste that Gamagoori stated to be 'Electrifying' and Sagat, who I could show you the tapes and you'd agree with me~!" She then spins the microphone. "Finally, Last Place - the Maimu Trio! Looks like the Cooking Club is on the chopping block~." She chides, before hmming. "Wasn't there... oh. Special mention, Kyra Hyral, for taking out a judge with her meal~. I almost wanted to award her first place, since no one else managed that~! She's still not last, though!"

The grill floor slides back in as the audiance roars - an upset!? Not a single Honnouji winner for first!?

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     And there was her opportunity. With the green-haired one down, Sanary finally spots her chance to try some of the food in this contest! Sure, the only thing left is the food that took him out in the first place, but...

     Well, it couldn't be /that/ bad, could it? Not like Sanary has many other options to choose from after everything else got eaten. "This one's... Kyra's, right?" She snags one of those bowls and pokes at the substance in it with a finger, weighing the risks and benefits of even attempting to eat it.

     That doesn't last very long. Whatever doesn't kill her will only make her stronger! And so, Sanary takes a looong sip of that stuff. "... Hmm. Doesn't taste that ba-" A few seconds later, she goes down.

Wesley Wilson (827) has posed:
"Well yeah, my blood's a liquid, all liquid conducts electricity! I remember that much from school." Wesley shrugs, then listens as the places are mentioned. "That's cool, I mean, I know I ain't a -great- cook or whatever. If you guys fight around here, I might show up again, don't know. And I'll probably fight that guy."

He points his thumb over at Sagat, then turns around, beginning to walk away towards the wall to the city. "I'll see you dudes later."