Personal Log: 10-06-AU23 (Juno Eclipse)

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Personal Log: 10-06-AU23 (Juno Eclipse)
Date of Cutscene: 06 June 2015
Location: The Rogue Shadow
Synopsis: Juno Eclipse attempts to start a personal log to order her thoughts.
Cast of Characters: 428


SECURITY LEVEL: E-08-526 AUTHORISATION: A50-624-8964:JE-5-7655-8056-2435:62




All things considered, this sector the Rogue Shadow's idling in is a boring little blip on the radar of the Arkanis System. That's good. It makes hiding a lot easier, and I think we should be safe here for at least a little while longer. I'm engaging the cloaking sysem where necessary, but I trust Lowri to get my attention if we have sudden visitors.

I called in a favour with Lowri, and she's watching the ship for me while I rest. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to keep a personal log, to help me order my thoughts. I don't know what else to do, because I feel like I'm going to go mad if I don't catalogue all of this, somehow.

I don't even know where to begin. The past week and a half feels like years.

I guess we needed the break that Lowri's given us. I slept for twelve hours, very nearly straight, and I still feel as though I could keep sleeping. While I was up earlier, I went to say hello to Lowri. We had an interesting conversation, but I don't think I'm ready to order my thoughts on that, just yet. Galen's still sleeping; but that's good. He needs it even more than I do.

Galen... I'm worried about him. Whatever that Force connection was with the prisoners aboard the Emperor's Justice, it rattled him, more than I think I've ever seen him rattled. He was meditating for a bloody long time, after that. Even when he finally came to bed, he looked haggard, more haggard even than I've been feeling.

I suppose all that I can do, as Kyra and Lowri both suggested, is to be there for him. They've given me the second chance I need to do just that. If he wants to talk about it, I'll be ready to listen.

In the meantime, it seems I've been pulled into a rebellion. I thought it over, after Yuri Stinson made his offer, and I told him some days ago that I'd accept it. Someone has to stand up to the Empire; to give some kind of aid to the Rebel Alliance.

Eighteen years ago, my mother was killed in crossfire between Imperial and insurgent forces – but I'm not so certain it was that simple. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if the Empire had ensured her silence because she was too open-minded for their tastes. It would have been easy enough; she was a civilian, and a schoolteacher. One well-aimed shot. I've always had doubts about the official report, and now that I'm on the other side of the Empire's wrath... well, I'm all but certain of it, now.

If not for me, than I have to stand up to them for Annafel Eclipse, for all the other families that might be ruined through their callousness. For all the people who don't even have that opportunity – for the people living in fear and oppression because of Vader's long shadow.

I'm still not sure if I trust Yuri. He's not even human. He is, as far as I can tell, a living embodiment of rebellion. How does something like that connect with people? He's not loyal to me; he's loyal to the rebellion he thinks that I can fight. I'm still not even sure how to go about that, other than making contact with the Rebel Alliance. They won't trust me, and I can't exactly fault them for that. I wouldn't trust myself in this position, either. If not for me, Callos would still be on the astrography navcomputers...

Right now, though, I don't think I have much of a choice. I'm going to need Yuri if I want to see this through. And I want to see this through. Kyra was right – I have to trust at least a few people, if I'm to survive the coming weeks, months; years. I trust Kyra – she seems genuine, to me. In the likely but improbable chances that she isn't who she says she is, then I wouldn't mind being proven wrong by such a masterful actress. I also owe Lowri a great deal. Trust is the least I can give her. Toph, too, and the Core Fleet, although I can't consider the Flotilla safe any longer – they've all acted on my behalf, even when it put them into danger. I think I can trust them.

It feels so hard to trust, these days... but I'm going to have to teach myself how to do that again, if I want to survive.

Anyway, I suppose I've rambled long enough. I'm halfway into ship's night. I should return to Galen; he'll be worried if he wakes up and I'm not there, and I couldn't exactly blame him.

I must be tired, still. My left eye's started to ache, although I don't know why the right hasn't as well. Maybe it's the brightness of this datapad screen. I feel a little calmer and more organised, so I suppose I can put this aside and go back to bed.

I'll write a little more when I have the opportunity, although heaven only knows when that might be.