Scene #3260: Painful Revelations

Owner	Pose
Gawain	Last night was odd. A new Servant, one who was most surely a knight, yet only Saber had known him. And when Sir Gawain pressed on information, she had only told him 'it's complicated' and that it'd be hard for him to deal with. And this made the Knight of the Sun worry. When his king says stuff like that, she usually means it. And he desperately wants to know what is being hidden from him. Luckily, she promised that when they returned to Dun Realtai, she would tell him. So on the morning of the day after, when Saber had summoned Sir Gawain to the church to talk to him, he came with haste. He is fully dressed in his floral printed armor, sword sheathed, as he enters the church. Gawain smiles as he does so, but it's not as radiant as usual. For once, he's preparing himself for bad news. He just has no idea what it could be, and there's no way he will be able to prepare himself for what it truly is.
Saber	It had demanded considerable willpower not to reveal the Lancer of Silver's identity immediately to Gawain, and had it only been the three of them in Dun Realtai, she would have insisted. Of course, Lancelot would have probably done so, but the presence of the Saber of Silver made that more difficult. The Japanese Servant seemed trustworthy enough, even if her reactions were somewhat strange, but even Arturia had not yet discerned her identity. Though a fellow member of the Union, the other Saber nevertheless remained elusive regarding her name. Though they were forbidden from fighting as allies in the multiverse, Arturia was reluctant to reveal her knight's identity to the other in turn; they were, in essence, technically opponents in the same War. Gawain, however, had been the victor of his own War. Though he had remained elusive about the outcome, Arturia had not pushed him on the matter. But she did have something of an obligation to reveal Lancer's identity personally. The King of Knights selected the village Church to meet with him, the Great Hall of the keep too public. In some ways, it could be said to be symbolic; the Church was the only designated neutral ground in each War. There, they would be less likely to be overheard, for there were things she had not yet revealed even to Sir Bedivere. His king waited near the altar, dressed in her blue dress and boots without her armour or Excalibur. There was little need to be primed for battle, yet there was a certain demand for her to appear as something of her former office. "I thank you for coming," she told Gawain as he entered. "There is much to tell you."
Gawain	Sir Gawain had always wanted to tell Saber about his war. He felt she needed to know. But, yet, he could never do it. His war was awful, and painful. It felt like the heavens were spiting him, that everything had been manipulated just to hurt him. The events of his War caused him to forsake Grail Wars, as something that may be too much to be worth it. And yet, he still kept getting involved in them. He had made an oath to Archer of Brown. He felt an oath to Kazusa Ujikane and Saber of Silver, as well, even if he had never formally made it. And Shirou was his Master, so if a Grail War began in Shirou's Fuyki, he would get involved without question. The only problem is that he's putting himself up for more pain, and deep inside, Sir Gawain knows this. But he doesn't care. A knight must do what is required, even if it's painful. Approaching his king, Sir Gawain bows to her, kneeling briefly before returning to level. "Of course, my king. I...assume this is about last night, and the black knight." He pauses, before he continues. "Whatever it is, do not feel bad for holding it from me. I know how it is."
Saber	Arturia had known that the events of that Grail War had affected the usually-chipper Knight of the Sun in terrible ways; his smile seemed coloured with some unidentified sadness, and he spoke of the Grail War itself in less-than glowing terms. Gawain had always sought glory in the days of Camelot, and it had only been in the final days of their kingdom had that wavered, when everyone around them had fallen. In the end, Gawain was laid low at Camlann, a battle so terrible that only Bedivere had survived...and the price paid for that had been terrible nightmares and a loss of spirit. Perhaps he had seen the Grail War as a second chance, where he could face strong opponents and their deaths would not be the same as those in their own era, for they would simply return to the Throne of Heroes to await their next summoning.For something to have changed that, for him to curse Heaven's Feel, the price must have been one beyond reckoning. Still, Arturia trusted him to tell her when he was ready. She understood that need keenly, as it has taken several years in the multiverse to reconcile her own part in the Holy Grail War, and what she had done for the sake of winning it. "Arise, Sir Gawain," she replied formally, only relaxing slightly when he did so. Her regal mien dropped as she paced, though the King of Knights could not completely cast aside the practised regal bearing. "Thank you. Indeed, this does regard the black knight. I do know of him, for I faced him in my own War, when he had been summoned as Berserker."
Gawain	To Gawain, Camlann was the worst thing he had ever seen. And it still was. But the end of his Grail War was a close second, more painful than when his own brothers were struck down by one of his best friends, or when he fought that friend hours before he died. Because this time, he was directly involved. It was hard to smile. It was hard to be happy, when you know you have done something you can never forget, that you can never take back, even if you had to do it. Eventually, he'd tell everyone. One person at a time. But first, he needed to tell himself that it was okay. Sir Gawain began arising as Saber requested, ending with only a bow of a head. Sir Gawain wasn't usually this formal when alone with any of the Round, unless he was taking something very seriously. This was one of those cases. "I see. So he has been resummoned in a different War as Lancer." But the Knight of the Sun's eyes scrutinized those words. "But it felt like you knew of him in another way, too, besides being a reflection of a former opponent..." And then, Sir Gawain just felt like he had to ask. He knew it was likely what his king was preparing him for, so he'd just ask directly. "What is his identity, my king?"
Saber	Gawain might be surprised, once he managed to tell his king of those events, for her own hands were hardly clean. Even before Camelot had fallen, ruthlessness was not unknown to King Arthur. And in the Holy Grail War, things had become progressively worse. There was a great deal that she was not proud of, and it had only been her commitment to changing their fate which kept her moving forward. There was little time to dwell on her failures when her objective was to undo them all with one simple change. Since that time, however, when she had finally accepted Britain's fall, those stains remained. She could no more undo the events of the Fourth War than she could undo Britain's fate. But while she had largely reconciled with those she believed she had wronged the most, Arturia realised there was still the matter of admitting it to someone who had regarded her as a hero and ideal king for all those years. Strangely, the disappointment she feared from Gawain was not in how he would see her, but the fact that she was loathe to disappoint him. Especially after the blows he had already taken from his own War. Arturia was not terribly surprised at his observations, either. For all his seeming silliness, the Knight of the Sun was frighteningly astute when it truly mattered. She could only obfuscate the issue for so long even had she wanted to. "Yes, you are quite correct. I knew him..." She paused, pacing again before she turned to face him again. "...And so did you, as well as Bedivere. I only recognised him because that was the same armour he wore as Berserker in the Fourth War. But when he had first appeared in our War, I did not recognise him at all. It was only during our final battle that I learned of his identity." The King of Knights sighed, a weary sound even to her own ears. Though reconciled, it was nevertheless difficult to admit. "In the end, I was forced...no, I chose to slay him. I took advantage of an opening and ran him through. I thought that it was the only way...I had to win the Holy Grail War to allow a more fitting king to rule in my place, and our War would have ultimately never occurred. However, even that came to nothing when I Unified. I did not see him again for nearly five years, and he had been summoned as a Saber in the Seventh War." There was another extended pause as Arturia seemed to contemplate the revelation before she finally decided upon what to say. "Though it would appear that Lancer is a different version than the one I knew, he is still the same knight we knew in Camelot. My Right Hand. Lancelot du Lac."
Gawain	Arturia's intro caused Gawain to freeze. He knew this knight? He should have expected that. It's likely he didn't /want/ to expect this. He listened quietly, frowning ever so slightly as Arturia admits she killed the knight. It's mainly reflexive, and he can completely understand it. He's gone through a War himself. He's had to make hard decisions, and even killed his own allies, due to the fact that only one can win, which all of them knew. But even as he tries to think who the knight could be, he's utterly blindsided by the revelation. Not because it doesn't make sense. But because he never expected it. Because, in a way, he hoped it wouldn't happen, so he could forever think of a way to apologize. Any traces of a smile he had fade, and his face is a mix of shock and despair. The last time Arturia would have been able to see this was in the last moments of Camlann. Before that, when he learned his brothers had been slain. The black knight was the Knight of the Lake, Lancelot. The one who had killed Gawain's brothers, the one who Gawain had fought in the final moments of Camelot, weakening Gawain and leading to his death. Gawain had regret not putting aside his anger, refusing to forgive him, and refusing to allow him to assist, believing it had led to the fall of Camelot. Once he had changed his initial wish from changing back time, he planned on being able to apologize to Lancelot. And despite that, he doesn't know if he can. Sir Gawain's brothers were dead. They had been killed by someone they trusted, slain in the line of duty. Even if Gawain remembered his words on the subject, from when they met again. "If I could meet him again, I think I would forgive him. I think I would forgive him for what he had done, even if it would hurt, because I know that his motives were in the right place. And if you were to meet him again, brother, I would hope you would give him a chance." Those were the dying words of one who Gawain himself had slain, in one of the worst moments of his history, and they were talking about how they forgave their original killer. And even then, Gawain just can't do it. Sir Gawain breaks out of his trance, and stares his king in the eyes. They're sad. They're very, very sad. "How long has he been around, my king?"
Saber	Though there were things that they, as Servants, were expected to do and perhaps even needed to do, they violated their knightly vows and their sacred Virtues. Then again, was that truly so different than Camelot's last days? Knight against knight, and ties of blood ultimately made the situation more complicated; Gawain's brothers had been killed by Lancelot as he desperately made his way to Guinevere, while Sir Lucan -- whom she had since learned had been named Ceallach at birth -- died in Mordred's rebellion trying to help his brother carry their dying king to safety. Yet, even in light of their final hours, the Holy Grail War seemed to be more questionable, as they all served different Masters of varying degrees of honour and purity of wish. Arturia had been summoned by Kiritsugu, who, for all his assassin's ways, had the purest wish of any Master in that War. Likewise, Lancelot's Master, she had discovered, merely wished to save one little girl who had been sacrificed in the name of magi alliances. But no matter how much they struggled, no matter how pure their intentions...there could be but one victor. They had no choice but to either acquiesce their wishes...or fight to the death. And given that each knight had become a legend in his or her own right, it would only be a matter of time before each Knight faced another as Servants in an ultimately meaningless War. It was enough to drive anyone to bitterness. Arturia was not surprised by that sadness, either. She had known that even Gawain would have found it difficult to reconcile with the Knight of the Lake. "I do not know," she replied, shaking her head. "The Lancelot I reconciled with is a Saber, as we are. Where he roams now, I do not know. But this incarnation...I have not yet reconciled with, in truth. Similarly, it might be that he never fought in the Fourth War. The multiverse provides endless potentialities...I cannot say how this version of Lancelot might differ from the others I have known."
Gawain	Sir Gawain sighs, as he considers the options. Does this Lancelot remember the same events that he does? Gawain ended up lucky, being from a different world than Arturia and Bedivere, yet having the same past. The Throne was unpredictable, however, and he never put much thought into it. He was just happy to see them again. But if this Lancelot does not remember what Gawain remembers...can they truly reconcile? Would it be /right/ to reconcile with someone who is not his Lancelot? "...Mm. Does he know of Dun Realtai? I believe I'll eventually need to talk to him. I...have so much to talk to him about." And then Sir Gawain pauses. They are in church. His king is the most trusted figure in his life. And it's coming to a point where he'll have to make a choice about this. It's uncomfortable, but at the very least, he must tell Arturia, he feels. "My king...have I told you about what happened at the end of...my War?"
Saber	Arturia nodded slowly. "He does," she reassured Gawain on whether or not the Lancer of Silver knew of their new home. "He arrived here less than a fortnight ago, based on rumours of my presence here, with his Master. I was not able to remain...though Bedivere would be the one to ask regarding his specific request. They have, however, been granted hospitality." Naturally, their compatriot would have been granted such, though the flaxen-haired knight seemed slightly embarrassed, as if recalling a mildly humiliating memory. Perhaps unaware of her involuntary flinch, she continued. "I did not wish to reveal it in the presence of the other Saber, though she is a Union ally. I do not know what will become of their War, or how it will be resolved." Her expression remained calm even as Gawain approached the subject of his own War, shaking her head. "No, you did not. I believed it best that I not ask. Clearly, you must have faced similar circumstances as my own. Perhaps you encountered others of the Round Table as I had, and forced to make a similar choice."
Gawain	"...I do not mean to sound accusatory, but how long would have you waited to tell me?" The Knight of the Sun glances into Arturia's eyes, wondering how long he would have waited before he knew that Lancelot had returned. He knows Arturia wanted Lancelot to tell him himself, but... Ignoring the flinch, which he has no idea what it's about, Gawain sighs. "I...can understand that. If it should come to it, I will side with Lady Kazusa and her Saber. I believe I...owe them to not change sides just because of old memories." He looks down at his feet, as he prepares to tell Arturia of his own war. "You're right. Too right. My war...was a trap. I was the last one surviving...and I met with Grau von Einzbern to make my wish. ...And...and it turned out the Grail was alive. Einzbern served it...it was malicious and bored, and the War was just a sport for it, a competition to see who would be trapped to entertain it for eternity. I...was trapped myself. But I, and the previous winners, escaped. Sir...Sir Percival was among them. We faced Grau, and...and..." As Gawain continues near the end, his voice begins to shake. This is easily the hardest part for him, as he swallows it down, knowing it's also the most important part. "And she summoned a special Servant. 'Ruler'. ...He was Gareth. And despite his desire not to fight...she commanded him to. We had no choice but to fight him. Command seals were spent, Servants slain...and in the end, I struck him down myself. And as he perished...he told me that he would forgive Lancelot. That despite everything...he understood why Lancelot did what he did." Tears slowly begin to form in the Knight's eyes, as he stares at his king, confiding in her fully. "I was not ready for Sir Lancelot's return, my king. I didn't know if I ever would be."
Saber	Saber sighed softly through her nose, merely a hint of a sound. "Only since the previous night," she admitted. "He had come here merely the night before the last. There was little time to have prepared you, as constant as the thought had been in those hours." The petite knight shook her head. "I do not believe it will come to that. Had their reality not unified, the outcome would have been quite different. I would not have been present to intervene, and though I can surmise that they would have likely formed an alliance, in the end, there can be but one Master and Servant remaining." Gawain's War was quite a different one than hers or Archer's if he had won and yet was able to return. But as far as she knew, most Wars seemed to follow the same pattern that Rin -- both versions -- had warned her of. "And that Servant would be called upon to sacrifice himself to complete the Grail's summoning." And indeed, his War was entirely different. There had been no 'Ruler' class, much less one into which one of her own knights -- Gawain's younger brother -- had been summoned. "I...see..." she answered slowly at first, her eyes closing. It would have been a nightmare enough for her, as a king who had remade her wish into a desire to reconcile with all her knights. But Gareth was Gawain's own blood brother, one who had followed him from their home country in Pictland to serve in Camelot. She did nothing to stifle the weary sigh, one laced with all the sorrow of Britain's fall. "Yes...they had little choice; Lancelot only wished to save the Queen, while Sir Gareth served the King. In the end, if there was anyone to blame, it was the king. I had...hoped that Lancelot's anger would be spent on me for ordering her execution, but in the end, he only wished for me to punish him properly, to blame him for everything. Yet...how could I?" Arturia shook her head again. "No, I knew it would be difficult for you...I had hoped that enough time would heal. But there was not enough."