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Laer     The place Laer's set up for meeting people is far more civilized than the ruins and desert of the prior missions. This is on the outskirts of a proper town, as towns go in this area. This is mostly to say that it has an adventurer-centered economy, with lots of places to drink, buy weapons, drink, buy armor, drink, get robbed, and drink. Laer is, possibly just for nostalgia's sake or possibly to fit in, waiting in one of the bars. Approaching her would be rude, at least at first, because she's currently the bard of the evening within.

    She's quite skilled, of course, and her style seems able to blend in with what the patrons of the place expect. This is mostly to say that she's not currently having anything thrown at her, though she'll wait for everyone to gather at the bar before stopping her set.

    Surely none of the contracted help for this particular mission will disrupt a bar of crowded inexperienced adventurers and townspeople!
Comrade Crush     It's always a toss-up whether the buildings in any given world will be built to accomodate an eight-foot communist slab of muscle wearing light armor. Or whether said light armor will get him as many stares as his physique does, given how oout-of-place it tends to look in many typical settings around the Multiverse. But more important is whether Crush /cares/ that he has to duck his head and/or is drawing constant attention simply by walking down the street. The answer to both these things is 'never, unless it interferes somehow with what he's there to do'.

    He does mutter under his breath as he steps in the door, however, including such words as 'capitalist predation' and 'making budding workers pay for relaxation'. Still, he does not specifically try to start anything.

    And he very pointedly remains standing, rather than sit in a chair which he is almost certain will not be able to support him long.
Sanary Rondel Drinking isn't so bad! Except when it is. Sanary's not the sort to usually go drinking without a reason to, but today is... No different. She's here to work, not play, and she's actually dressed for the part! Sort of. The healer's going for the professional look today, wearing a dark gray coat to go with her color-mismatched riot shield and kite shield, the former folded into a large rectangle and the latter worn on her back.

     Hearing Laer's performance from the inside, Sanary raises an eyebrow curiously before nodding to herself, apparently approving of her work and taking a seat nearby. She raises a hand in a stiff wave to both Laer and Crush as she spots him, but keeps quiet otherwise so as to not break the illusion of professionalism nor Laer's concentration.

     Sanary even crosses her legs in front of her while sitting there with her arms also crossed. That makes her look cooler, right? Right? ... Right?
Nima Kairn     Nima Kairn knew admittedly little about Laer or the world to which she had been called. It had been more curiosity than anything that had driven her to accept the message containing a request for aid. An adventure, and a chance to studying other life, another world. It was probably rash... but so far as she'd seen, nobody in the Confederacy was honestly spoiling to backstab anyone in particular.

    It's a nice shift, honestly. One that Nima is more than willing to support.

    Arriving on the Breaker of Delusion, Nima decides to have the ship parked out some ways away from the settlement, namely to ensure the locals wouldn't suddenly panic. She's quite thirsty by the time that she walks through the door, and she's covered head to toe in a thick black cloak that obscures everything but her hands and the lower half of her face.

    Music was a facet of culture, and culture was one of the grand many things that all sentient life shared with one another. Instead of interrupting, Nima goes for the bar. "Water," is the only word she says to the barkeep. THen she turns around and folds her hands together, watching with a quiet smile as Laer entranced the masses before her. Subtle nods are given to Sanary and Crush, and she suddenly finds herself wishing she had brought Khem Val. The comparison between the two giants would've been interesting...
Nobeard     Nobeard has no desire to start a panic, so he's going to head into town by himself! Of course, he could do a number of things to participate and ensure a lack of trouble. One would be to send Jack instead, but Nobeard actually wants to come HIMSELF so that's not good. Another would be a shapechange or polymorph self spell. However, with only seven spellstalks that would use up one that could be used for a high-level dungeoneering spell like Dimension Door. So Nobeard has opted to disguise himself with mundane means.

    "Arr, do ye be having grog here?" He's going to wait, digsuised as he is, and drink. His digsuise consists of a MASSIVE hooded cloak, and a dangling scarecrow body strapped to him which unconvincingly drags along under him as he floats. He's fully aware that such a 'disguise' will not fool anyone. He's relying on the idea that nobody will want to be the one to say 'excuse me sir, are you actually a beholder?'
Laer     Everyone will have a few minutes while Laer works the crowd, singing a song that's plot rapidly moves out of double entendres and into singles. The crowd seems to like it, though they'll be giving some of the newcomers a wide berth. Comrade Crush gets a few people to stare and edge away, and one dwarf will point and say something to a companion. It's hard to hear over the noise of the bar, but it doesn't sound complementary.

    Sanary gets largely ignored, mostly because of the rather more disturbing people who've made their way in. Nima, meanwhile, will be looked at as though she'd ordered a glass of cyanide with a floating umbrella in it; a mixture of shock and concern from the bartender. "...Water?" He'll repeat, in a gravelly, hoarse voice. "If you're certain..." A cup will be placed in front of her; it technically contains water, which is just clear enough to show the overall unclearness of it. It appears to have quite the texture.

    The younger man assisting with the bar will thus be stuck helping Nobeard. He'll stare for a few moments, before replying, deciding not to ask if that's really a beholder. "...Right! Right, grog, of course!" This looks much healthier than the water, though it may also contain more actual water.

    Meanwhile, Laer's wrapped up her story and is now wrapped up towards a break. "...And if any of you have a problem with that, I'll kill every last one of you and leave you out for the buzzards!" Is her declaration as she steps over towards the group she's recruited, to laughter as though she weren't serious. "...Aah, sorry about that! I'm out of practice on timing this sort of thing. You're all here for the job, I take it?" She'll ask.
Comrade Crush     Crush does not turn to address the dwarf. But he does file that little tidbit away, possibly for later. Most of his attention is for Sanary, to whom he offers a cheerful grin and wave in return, and then Laer. He doesn't miss Nima's arrival, and there's probably /nobody/ who misses Nobeard's, but for now he's quite happy just to wait with arms folded until they get started.

    "Da, more or less. Am not accepting payment, however. Am here to help a comrade who is asking." His usual work ethic; 'my allies need help, so here I am.'
Nobeard     "Aye, lass," Nobeard replies, turning slightly to better speak to Laer. He will, of course, give a rumble of thanks to the poor guy serving him. No need to be RUDE here. Crude, yes, but not rude. He's looking over Crush, Sanary, and Nima of course... with various eyes peeking out from under the 'hood' covering him, blinking and considering without actually facing the other three. "Just meself, this time. The crew be busy with another job. Mister Scribbles be about if ye want another."

    Of the group, Nima is probably getting the most 'attention' in the form of TWO eyestalks looking her over. After all, she's not a species that Nobeard is familiar with, while the other two are... even if Crush's massive size is noteworthy by itself. Muscle, he decides. And the statement of not accepting payment gets a grunt which largely sounds like approval. More loot for him... and it puts Crush's loyalties right on the table.
Sanary Rondel Sanary's feeling better about her decision not to drink when she sees that 'water' being served to Nima, peering at the glass and keeping a little bit of energy ready near her eye just in case she needs to do an emergency detox or something. Nobeard's arrival (and the reactions to said arrival of the totally-not-a-beholder) actually draw a light snicker from the healer, and she gestures at him, Crush, and Nima with her head to approach.

     If nothing else, having so many weird people around should keep anyone from getting too curious. "Interesting story. Shame I missed the... Er. Most of it." She rubs her neck lightly while standing back up, offering her and the rest of her companions for the night a light bow of the head. "Way better than I'd ever manage... Ah. Yep. I'm on duty for this one, anyway, so... Uh."

     She shrugs. "I mean, I won't complain about getting paid extra or anything. So. So. Where're we headed for this one?" The healer hops once as if testing something, and the more magically-sensitive here might even notice that she put a bit of power into her legs for that moment.
Nima Kairn     TUrning around to reveal what had been served to her gives her a moment's pause. Admittedly, she has drank worse in her life in the past... BUt that's just not feasible here. So instead, Nima reaches into her belt and deposites two fat, shiny gold Imperial credits on the bar instead. "Your best, then," is her reply. "Quickly, if you please."

    Should've expected it, honestly. How easy it was to forget that water filitration systems weren't Multiverse standard.

    Whe Lear finally does step off of the stage, Nima waits to collect her drink before going to 'group up' with everyone. The cloaked twi'lek bows very slightly from the waist. "Indeed. I am Nima Kairn, apprentice to Darth Zash. Perhaps you would be willing to explain further about your intentions here. I am gladly willing to assist."

    The assents of her comrades around her allow a moment of study for each of them. Sanary she'd at least heard before, but most everyone else was a stranger. Affirming themselves to others of strong will. Like the giant's care for his comrades, and the alien's intense way of studying her. "Perhaps you would be willing to wait until we are in a more agreeable place to try watching me?" Nima asides with a wry smile.
Laer     "I won't be too long-winded about this one; it was a pain to track down, but the mission itself probably won't be too bad." Laer, being the questgiver, is given the divine right to be a jinx. Literally divine in this case, as she goes on. "There's a shrine to Hlal not too far from here that relatively recently had a visit from their goddess in person. Among other things, this almost certainly means that there's a supply of blessed oils available there. I'm in need of such oil blessed by a dragon god; Hlal's by far the one most likely to deal with non-dragons. As you could probably tell by her having a shrine near here."

    "The pay is for getting as much of it as you can from the shrine. Preferably without killing anyone there, because she's going to be pissed enough if this all works and I'd rather not make Hlal even madder. The good news, for you all, is that she among other things enjoys very good stories. As such, the more stylish your acquisition of the oil from the priests - and the less blood spilled - the more I'll pay and the less pissed she'll be at all of us."

    "Any questions?"
Laer     Nima will be given the bar's best, meanwhile. It looks functionally identical to what Nobeard is drinking, but would you serve a beholder anything less than your best if you were a barkeep?
Sanary Rondel Right! Introductions. "Sanary Rondel, healer. Er... And also I got these." She taps on the edge of her shields lightly. She goes quiet once Laer starts detailing the job, a low hum escaping her after a few moments. The mention of a dragon god draws an odd look from the healer, but she's not going to judge if that's what the job calls for.

     Not that she's found of dragons nor gods, but whatever. "So no killing, and we want to keep the resident goddess happy. That's.." Sanary furrows her brow and fiddles with her eyepatch briefly. "What's her... Thing, anyway? Her... What's the word. Domain? Her... Shtick?"

     Sanary doesn't sound too familiar with that last word. Did she pick that up watching something?
Comrade Crush     "...good stories," Crush replies, a grin slowly spreading onto his face. "Well, I am not having any specific ideas yet, but whatever stories are being told, can guarantee that they will include mighty wizard likes of which are not being seen here before." The big guy slams his fists together lightly - which sounds like a party popper going off - before setting them akimbo on his hips. "What sort of people are these... worshippers?" The word sounds vaguely distasteful, the way he says it. "What is value system? Are they respecting strength, martial prowess, knowledge? Baking?"
Nobeard     "The Dread Pirate Nobeard," says the not-beholder. "I be your magical support for this... and maybe transportation. If ye need a way in, Mister Scribbles be waiting..." One of his eyes looks Crush up and down. "Might be a bit much for him to take all."

    The gutteral chuckle sounds out again though. "Aye then... it be a good thing I be an illusionist of the highest caliber!" As evidenced by his... disguise?
Nima Kairn     Nima listens closely as Laer goes on with describing why she needed them and what they were meant to do. An amused curl to her lips comes as Laer goes into detail. They couldn't spill blood--not so bad--but to make this heist interesting was another matter entirely. They were being asked to play as jesters before a deity, was the short version that Nima attaches to.

    "I have a number of skills that I can use to that cause," Nima says lightly. "As I'm sure we all do."
Laer     "Domain's about right." Laer will reply, before admitting. "...She's the draconic god of humor. And storytelling. Her sense of humor is all-encompasing, as you might expect, but supposedly she's more inclined towards the, ah, baser forms of it. The shrine will have many of her top priests, likely including at least one dragon in some form of disguise. You can probably make your own guesses about the sorts of priests who devote their lives to a god of humor."

    "In any case, I need to be left out of this particular story, at least for the time being. My name would not be unknown to her, possibly not to her followers, and I'm not ready for what might follow just yet. Soon enough. The shrine is going to look somewhat, ah, ramshakle. They tend to want to be ready to move in a hurry, part of why it was so much trouble to track them down."
Sanary Rondel "Stories.. Stories. Uh. Shit, guess we'll have to start brainstorming some up on the way there. Unless one of you's got something good." Sanary doesn't seem too annoyed about the prospect of making a fool of herself, at least, although she also hasn't actually arrived at the location yet. Only time will tell how that'll end up!

     "Baser means... Uh. What now?" That's probably got something to do with why she doesn't seem put off yet. The mention of dragons in disguise does draw an uncomfortable grunt from the healer, though, and she nods slowly at the implications regarding the priests before shivering lightly. "... Gah. It's not gonna involve too many puns, is it?" It's not clear whether she's shivering because of discomfort or because of the potential amusement.
Comrade Crush     "Is meaning 'low brow', Crush replies to Sanary. "Jokes for... impolite company." He's leaving it at that. He opts to pop his knuckles for now. "Would not be averse to wrestling more dragons. But for now, will try to recall old jokes. Perhaps they are getting chuckle if I am saying oil is for flexing contest of gods, da?" He chuckles at that himself, before folding arms over his chest. "I am prepared to be moving, if everyone else is. Can devise plan once we are there." He opts not to comment on Laer's request to be left out of things; he suspects even more strongly now he knows what she has in mind, but he doesn't have any particular objections to it. Might as well get to work.
Nobeard     "Heh, that be a specialty of pirates," Nobeard notes. "But me... beholders be not gettin' it too well. This sort of raid be taking, what is it ye call it? Balls?" He says this with as straight a face as his monstrous visage can muster. Maybe he should stop practicing. Right now.

    He does whistle though, bringing the armor-plated giant space hamster trundling toward his the bar. It has saddles.
Nima Kairn     Devotees to a god dedicated to humor. Under her hood, Nima's brows raise in bemusement. That's... that's a new one. What sort of followers... what sort of deity were they? For an instant she has to wonder if she's going to be walking into a den of laughing madmen. Or perhaps jesters and fools? Was one really better than the other? "I'll admit to being... a little rusty when it comes to such humor. I suppose we will have to wait until we have arrived to discover the true means of victory here."

    The indication of transport has Nima stepping outside quickly. When they clear the bar she slips off her hood and gently shakes out her lekku, frowning bemusedly as she went. Nobeard's horrible pun does manage to get at least one quiet snicker, but the Sith manages to keep a straight face.

    At least Nima would be able to see a dragon... probably. After hearing and reading so much about them, she'd naturally started to get curious.
Laer     The Colonel of the Confederacy will give Sanary a Look at that. "...Puns are among the highest form of humor." Laer will state, righteously. "You'll figure something out, I'm sure. In any case, you can earn their cooperation or not, but I need that oil, and no blood. Remember that."

    With that last admonishment, Laer will get ready to get back to her set while people will get ready to go to the shrine. Whenever they go, they'll find that Laer's description of the place as ramshackle was a bit of an understatement. The shrine appears to be a large building constructed mostly by leaning driftwood against other driftwood in improbable fashions. The whole thing looks like it would collapse with the removal of the right piece, or that it may be held together by magic to begin with. There is noone outside waiting, at least.
Comrade Crush     The first thing Crush does, is to go up and lightly poke the driftwood. Poke. Poke poke. He is being genuinely gentle about it, but if even that causes it to sway or collapse, they'd have had an issue anyway!
Sanary Rondel "Highest...? Huh. N-not that I don't like 'em or anything!" Humor's just not a thing Sanary truly understands yet. She straightens up at that comment from Laer, however, although she does seem just a little reassured at the fact that with Nima and Crush along, she's not the only one that might be lacking the right skills for this job.

     "Understood. Nobody dies, and when we get back? You'll be swimming in balls-OIL. Oil. Not from the..."

     Dammit, Nobeard.

     Sanary secures her own transportation via magitech-powered flight, although she might just end up walking after a while to conserve her own energy. Arriving at the shrine, she eyes it uneasily before following Crush over.

     "Think it's gonna hold...? Uh. Or if anyone's even in there?" She sounds rather skeptical about that.
Nobeard     Hmm. Low brow humor, eh? Actually, Nobeard didn't ride Mister Scribbles either, due to uh... being a floating ball of eyes. Silly to ride something like that! He still has his 'disguise' on though, perhaps having forgotten he's wearing it. "Arr, let's not be dillydallying, eh? Come on then!"

    Someone has to.

    "YO HO! If anyone be in there, it be time for a bit o' that dreaded word! This be the DREAD PIRATE NOBEARD, and I be callin' upon that most ancient o' pirate rights!"

    Dramatic pause.

    "PARLAY!"
Nima Kairn     Nima had seen quite a few ruins, huts, and ramshackle constructions in her time, but the sheer mess of this place makes her give pause and look at what was in front of her with bemused eyes. For a moment she almost hisses out a warning at Crush, but then decides to not bother. It would be hard to imagine a deity allowing their place of worship to topple over because someone sicced the beefcake at it.

    She would've prefered attempting to detect the life within the building first, but Nobeard's incrredibly loud posturing puts an end to that idea, as well. The Sith ends up falling back a couple steps to stand beside the beholder pirate and begin to take hold of the Force.
Laer     "Will you leave the building alone? Why does every idiot who comes along have to poke at the building? Do you know how long it takes to get everything to stay there?" The voice that comes from within the building is gravely and deep, rumbling enough that the the building seems to shake with the vibration of it.

    The effect is rather spoiled by the person who comes out of the door. Or, rather, 'door'. It's really just a gap in the driftwood, one that Crush could never have hoped to have fit through. A gnome in priest's garb is approaching, the voice every bit as deep as it was from within.

    He hasn't bathed, judging by the smell, in a time frame that would extend beyond recorded human civilization.

    He's also rather thrown off by the pirate, but one doesn't get to be the priest of a god of humor without learning to roll with some punches. Thus, he will not point out that the nearest ocean is hundreds of miles away. Instead, he will reply. "And what do you want to parlay over? If you intend to seize control of our shrine, you may find that we are well prepared for pirates!"
Sanary Rondel Sanary looks rather surprised at the fact that anyone could even fit inside this sort of building, although that could easily be construed as a height thing judging from her expression. "EH? Oh. Yeah, we were lokoing for you. To..."

     She looks towards Nobeard expectantly. What the hell does parlay even mean? It's not something she's used to hearing! Thankfully, she doesn't look towards Nima to avoid drawing unnecessary attention her way. Instead, she turns back to the priest with an inquisitive stare.

     "... Yeah. We're here to parlay. You know what that means, right?" It's a challenge! A challenge to what? Who knows. She's just hoping he'll take the bait.
Comrade Crush     "We are here for one thing," Crush says, folding his arms over his barrel chest. "Do not want shrine itself, but rather item you have within. I am certain you are guessing, all here are more than capable of profound acts of violence, da? But we are not wanting this route. So instead, I am making offer. Deal, of sorts." He claps his hands together. It sounds like a small-caliber gunshot going off. "If any one of us is making you laugh, we are entitled to anything I am being able to lift over my head." He's counting on it being an obvious ploy; but an obvious ploy whose "payoff" is so enticing that the priest will go along with it just to see what Crush does with it. That sort of 'deal' always ends in a story-worthy act, after all.
Nobeard     "Heh," Nobeard rumbles. "THAT is a Parlay! This be a test of skill... and I doubt ye be prepared for pirates such as we!" He coughs, a noise that is like a laugh for him. Fortunately, being raised amongst beholders means that he's not having much trouble with the smell. This is a mixed blessing.

    "What say ye?" His eyes turn, looking toward Nima now. Of all of them, the Sith, while seeming to have a sense of humor, is the one he wasn't sure about. They didn't exactly spend a lot of time planning this!
Nima Kairn     From the yawning chaos of the driftwood temple, came a tiny little man whose stench came from him in waves. Nima grunts rather quietly as her noise twitches. It was... it was pretty bad, even from someone who had lived amongst alien species all her life.

    It seems Nobeard and Crush had largely worked out the initial plan to attempting to sucker the paritioner. Given Nima's relative lack of knowledge in this situation, it's probably better that they handled it first. Eventually, when the attention is turned to her. It actually gives her pause, a surprised cough before she clears her throat to join her voice with the others. "Agreed. A test of wits and skill. Surely, the goddess Hlal would smile upon such a competition? And if we would be greater in service than you..." the implication is left hanging.

    Three rocks untangle themselves from the ground around her and start slowly orbiting around her until she catches all three. Then she starts juggling.
Laer     The gnome will give a snort at that offer, but it's really more one of derision than a proper laugh. "What kind of priest of Hlal wouldn't want to laugh as much as they could? But it seems quite a one-sided proposal. If none of you make me laugh, then you will give me a proper foot massage." The you there is directed at Crush. It's a bit staggering to think how that might even work. "And of course I know what parlaying is, young lady. It was the basis of government in my homeland."

    The priest will turn towards the alien, slightly surprised. "..I don't even recognize what you are. To have come so far, only to have to resort to juggling, next to a.. Pirate and a giant. And the other young lady there, of course." Discourtesy wouldn't do, at least not yet. "Perhaps you might want to try wits, rather than skill?"
Sanary Rondel A... Foot massage. That's the price to pay for this? Sanary raises an eyebrow slowly, but shrugs after a moment. "Sounds good to me. Alright, let's... Do that." Nima seems to be starting things off with an admittedly impressive display of juggling, and the healer watches her at work for a while until the gnome's comment draws her back.

     "Uh? Oh. Wits. Uh. Okay. Wits, wits... I got it!" She claps her hands together and turns to the gnome, then... Nothing. She just stands there with her mouth open for a moment, then grunts and turns to Nobeard and Crush. Tag in required!
Comrade Crush     Crush looks down at the gnome's feet.

    His nostrils flare briefly.

    "Comrade, I am born on farm. If that is winning condition, is small price to pay." No wonder the smell hasn't much seemed to bother him. He's used to it.

    The commie looks between Nobeard and Sanary with mild surprise, as if puzzled this would fall to him. "Er... if comrades are having nothing, I have joke, but would prefer to let allies try first!"
Nobeard     Wait, it's falling to the pirate? That's pretty weird! Nobeard stays put, but his eyestalks look left, then look right. Then he sighs, "Aye, fine, it be one o' those things, eh? I be a pirate, not a circus ringleader, but..."
    One eyestalk turns toward the shuffling Mister Scribbles, stripping the armored plates from the hamster. The giant riding beast chitters, but then the beholder shakes off his 'disguise' and reveals his TRUE FEARSOME VISAGE!
    "Watch then. I be a master of all things ball-related!"
    He lowers down to the ground, and that telekinetic eye lifts Mister Scribbles up, who lets out a giant squeak before being balanced atop the captain like a bear atop a ball. "Now, who be havin' an umbrella?"
Comrade Crush     Crush finds himself just sort of... staring at the balancing act. That's... admittedly a little impressive on Nobeard's part. "I am afraid I am having no umbrella with me, comrade." Alas, fair weather.
Nima Kairn     Tough jabs from the shortstack. A quick grin comes to Nima's face in response to his snappy shot at an alien species he didn't know. In fairness, since she had become Sith her life had taken a turn for the rather serious. Missions like these were unexpected... It's a chellenge that she can't back out from.

    "I was trained to be a scholar and assassin," Nima remarks quietly to the levitating beast beside her. Not generally very amusing sections of life... usually. So the beholder ends up taking the lead on things. The twi'lek ends up stepping aside a bit to give him some extra space. Once he's done, Nima steps up to show off.

    THe Sith tosses the three rocks high into the air before shucking her cloak entirely. Her saberstaff flies up to their hand and activates immeidately. Purple blades flash and and strobe as she whirls the weapon around her in complex, eye-watering patterns. She eventually stops and bows--and the three rocks she'd sent up into the air are each neatly cut in half.

    "I have skill and wit in equal measure. Challenge me how you will. My compatriots all have their own abilities to bring, certainly." With a wry smile, she deactivates the weapon and stores it into her belt again.
Laer     The gnome will turn to each in turn. Sanary will be met with a flat stare for a moment, then a sigh. "Dear girl, you really need to work on this." The gnome's voice rumbles. Crush's deferal will be met with similar skepticism, but the gnome is not fool enough to say that out loud.

    The second display from Nima will get his attention, though not any sort of laughter. No, it's the lasers that are going to get the eye of the priest. This is a little beyond the norm for the area, after all. "And what was that? I have to admit, it's quite the impressive illusion! You may have some talent after all, even if it's still more acrobatics than joke!"

    But the display from Nobeard will get the biggest reaction from the gnome. "Oh, dear. Did you know that you appear to be a beholder? But one moment, I think I have an umbrella.." He'll move back inside, before coming back out a moment later with a closed umbrella. It seems rather nice for the area, really.
Comrade Crush     "Well, I suppose while we are waiting, comrade..." Crush folds his arms over his chest, stepping to one side so that he can sort of angle himself to both 'speak to the gnome' and 'watch Nobeard' at the same time. "A short joke for you. For this, I will even speak it in native tongue."

    When he speaks again, Crush does so in Russian... which might be a bit of a shock to those who have only heard his 'english'. His Russian is eloquent and smooth, well-spoken. "A professor is administering a final exam to his university class, when the door swings open. There's a student there. A drunk one. Swaying and staggering, barely able to walk from the door to the teacher's desk, and when he speaks, his words are so slurred the professor can barely understand him. 'Teasher,' the student says. 'Teasher, do ya... do ya allow drunk shtudentsh ta take yer exam?' The professor is of course taken aback that someone barely able to stand would risk his final grade by taking the exam so thoroughly plastered, but says, 'Well, if you really think you can, then by all means.'"

    Crush's lips pull into a little grin. "The student turns himself around with a sway, staggers to the door, and the teacher hears him say, 'Alright, wheel 'im in.'"
Sanary Rondel Comrade Crush's comment about being born on a farm actually draws an intrigued look from the comparably smaller Confederate. "... Really? You, too?" Sanary looks him over slowly several times, although she seems to be slumping slowly after a while. "That's... That's just not fair. What the hell did you eat to get this huge?!"

     Size is a sensitive topic for her, apparently. As is failure! Her expression darkens somewhat when the gnome comments on her offer of nothing and praises Nima's skill with the saberstaff. taking the opportunity when he heads inside to grumble to herself.

     "Not my fault I never learned how to come up with this stuff..." She's still muttering to herself even when he comes back out with the umbrella for Nobeard. "If this was a wrestling-pigs-in-shit contest, I'd have no problem... Or eating. Or accidentally eating..."

     Now she's just frustrating herself more and more. Perfect.
Nobeard     With the observation being made while the giant hamster is atop him, Nobeard squints all ten eyes. "Eh? A beholder? That can't be right! OOF!" Hey, hamsters are heavy even with TK helping! He wobbles a little as the squeaking beast windmills above him. "Beholders have no arms!"

    There's a small pause.

    "GAH! ME ARMS! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ARMS! I BE MAIMED! OH THE HUMANITY! THE TRAGEDY! THE-!"

    The pirate could go on, but is actually interrupted as the umbrella pops open(with his help, because Mister Scribbles has no opposable thumbs) and causes a deluge of water to pour down and cause Mister Scribbles to be a WET Giant Space Hamster, squealing, and also splashes Nobeard to make him shut up. "Arr, now I be needing a new eyepatch."
Nima Kairn     Well, that was the thing. Assassins and scholars generally don't have many jokes. Plus there was the fact that living in an entirely different galaxy. With a smile, Nima pats the weapon hanging from her belt. "It is a lightsaber, and it is no illusion. It is a symbol of power and strength to my own order." Nima frowns a bit and mentions off-handedly, "I do know a good joke about Mandalorians. But it'd largely be wasted on you because you don't know what Mandalorians even are. I don't even know if you have anything to compare it to."

    So it seems she'll have to leave the actual jokes and amusement to Crush and Nobeard. Which... actually ends up not being so bad. Jokes about drunkenness and a light and water show for the beholder. She may not be able to do anything herself, but...

    The Sith lifts her hands and takes hold of the Force. Mr. Scribbles would find himself suddenly feeling a lot lighter. Nima's face tightens at the strain, but suddenly the giant wet beast is doing some pretty impressive acrobatics tricks of his own... atop poor Nobeard, but maybe the sacrifice would be worth it after all the groans of pain. She can't take all of that weight, after all.
Laer     "We don't really do eating contests here. If you'd really like to wrestle a pig in shit, we might be able to oblige." The gnome will state in response to Sanary's grumbling. "Though we'd have to get a pig."

    The joke from crush will have the gnome rock back and forth on his heals for a moment, before nodding. "That isn't bad. I don't know the language, but your delivery is clearly worthy. You might be able to get some practice, though, you look just a bit too serious."

    And then there's a splash from the direction of the beholder, and the gnome will make an audible snort of laughter, either at the acrobatics atop by the hamster courtesy of Nima's interference with the Force, or at the panic over the lack of arms, or even his own joke with the umbrella's enchantment. Either way, the gnome will give Crush a guilty look for a moment. "...Bah. I wanted that foot massage, too. Take whatever you want that you can carry; just please do leave the building standing."

    They do not have much in the way of valuables here, but the oil that Laer had been looking for is visible within. The gnome will also offer a personal gift to the one with the least obvious humor before starting to wonder off. Namely, Sanary. "Dear, you seem to be having trouble keeping up with your companions in the most noble arts, and you can't get by wrestling pigs your whole life. These binoculars are magically enchanted to allow you to see the funniest in people, from a distance. Please use them with my best wishes."

    They do no such thing, of course. They're enchanted to put brilliant pink eyeshadow on anyone who tries to use them. It's mildly magical, and a pain and a half to wash off.
Comrade Crush     Crush almost looks disappointed about something. But he bites it back. He will have to content himself with 'carrying literally all the blessed oil the temple has'. He can quite easily manage it, after all.

    He does eye the binoculars for a moment or two, considering whether to warn Sanary of suspicions... but in the end, he decides against it. This will be an important lesson for her in humor.
Sanary Rondel Sanary actually snaps out of her funk when the gnome mentions having to get a pig, and she seems to be... Perking up a little? "You know. If you're in the market for pigs, I /am/ raising 'em."

     She'd rather not have to wrestle them in shit, though.

     Better yet, her mood lightens up some at her comrade's (including Comrade) combined efforts in getting the gnome to finally chuckle, and she even finds herself snickering at the Crush's joke and the hamster's moves.

     "Don't worry. We're not all that.. Uh. Destructive. Usually." She's not, at least! Before she heads in to get some of that oil, however, that gift from the priest gets a curious look (and yet more grumbling at her lack of comedic aptitude). "Eh? Really? Uh... Thanks, I guess." She smiles graciously as she takes the binoculars, trying not to let it look too obvious that she's not quite sure how to use it with just the one eye.

     Still, being ever the gullible one, Sanary brings up the binoculars to her face and even swaps sides a few times while peering at each of her companions and the gnome in turn. "It looks.. Uh. Different."

     This is going to take a while. At least her eyepatch has some color to it now!
Nima Kairn     The gnome finally breaking out into a chuckle is a sound of relief for Nima. Lifting and twisting the giant hamster as she has is pretty draining. She's starting to sweat. Still, she gives another bow, along with the hamster, before she sets the beast down again and releases her hold on the Force. Her next few seconds are spent taking grateful gulps of air.

    Nima's in no condition to lift anything, so she leaves the business of the oil to Crush. Instead, she smiles down at the beholder and mouths an apology before going over to inspect Sanary's gift. "Interesting. I wonder how it is that they are able to give items such specific abilities and uses." Sanary ends up taking the bullet first, which ends up making Nima do a double-take. Then a big cheshire grin grows on her face. "Oh my. How pretty for you, Sanary. It matches you perfectly."