Scene #6074: The Pigpen Shuffle

Owner	Pose
Starlight Bandits	Chuck Knifedge City has a low hum in the air, the soft crackle of static electricity as the sun sets behind the mountains, the street lights flickering in a vain attempt to light up completely. Civilians close the blinds on their small apartments, the doors getting sealed off with wire meshes and iron bars in anticipation of the night. The air itself holds its breath as all manner of ne'er-do-wells congregate on a single point. Gallowrope Plaza is a formative part of the city's history. The centre is dominated by a gallows, from which hangs a bronze rope. Anyone who examines it would note that the knot is improper, and any weight hung from it would make it unravel. A symbol of harsh authority, rendered useless. Little wonder that this is where the Pigpen Shuffle begins. Beings with pig masks and robes address a crowd in silence, handing out wristwatches. For such a rowdy-seeming bunch, there's an almost reverent quiet. Everyone who comes to the Shuffle knows to take this part seriously, least you incur the mysterious gamemaster's wrath. Those who receive their watches remain at the plaza, using the time to put in the money they're betting and scope out the competition. Among them; A massively fat bronze man in a Hawaiian shirt surrounded by surly enforcers who keep others away. A burly older man in a wifebeater and trackpants who seems to be trying on different bronze knuckles. A very short figure wrapped up in multiple layers of ratty clothing. A lithe woman wearing one of those anti-infection masks that covers the entire lower half of her face. A young man jamming on some tunes on his headphones as he types away at a flipphone. And of course, the Starlight Bandits. The pair are lounging on a bench, jabbering away about some nonsense or another. No one around them is really paying much attention though, as their gaze flicks up at the billboard atop an apartment building directly above them. Said billboard reads, 'THE STARLIGHT BANDITS, IRVINE LUNE AND MOLLY CRESCENT, VOW TO PLACE A SUM OF 100 MILLION BIBUCKS ON EACH OF THEIR WATCHES IN THE COMING PIGPEN SHUFFLE' Once everyone has received their watch, one of the pig-masked figures raises a starting pistol. "Enjoy the Shuffle," is all they say before squeezing the trigger. The Plaza immediately erupts into violence as many seek to make their fortunes immediately, only to get jumped by others. The smarter ones slip away, vanishing into the many surrounding streets, alleys, buildings, and sewers to make their mark during more stable moments of the night.
Gilgamesh	The King of Heroes is here for fun. It might be surprising to see something so glorious, so golden, so gleaming, down in the hives. Something whose mere existence radiates Authority, whose mere aura is not light but glory, stands out here even more than he does everywhere else. Though he's dressed in a simple black coat, khaki pants, and white sweater, those clothes on him seem like the finest threads. Those clothes make him stand out even more in this hole - he reads like a rich man who took a very wrong turn, a rich man who wound up in a place he doesn't know and is now looking for some harmless amusement, or some less-than-legal entertainment. Drugs, prostitutes, or darker things. He doesn't look like a man who should be wearing one of those watches. He looks like a man who's never had to work for money a day in his life. Until you look at his face. His face is flawless, quite literally perfect, but it's the smile and the eyes that are off-putting. The smile and the eyes are the smile and the eyes of a man who has been on countless adventures, who has seen countless foes and slain countless enemies. That smile, and those eyes, are the eyes of a man who is not afraid to kill a man on the spot. He flicks one of his gold earrings, then steps up to the highest spot he can. As the starting bell fires, the King holds up his watch. "On this watch," Gilgamesh says in a cheerful tone, "Is a sum in gold that I am told equates to one billion of your currency." Gilgamesh unstraps the watch and holds it up in front of him for everyone to see. Indeed, the number is so high the display is broken. He dangles it there, then straps it back on his arm. "As I understand it, this game is for you thieves to practice your efforts. So I thought I would make it more interesting." The King flicks his hand to the side, like he's brushing something away. "I thought I would make it so that whoever was bold enough to rob the King would win." "But," Gilgamesh's lips purse in an absolutely hilariously cruel grin, "At the same time, whosoever robs the King must live to escape with the wealth. And as you doubtless know, stealing from the King is an offense that can only be answered in one way." A huge golden axe just manifests in his hand, out of a ripple in the air. He swings it once to make a point, then lets it disappear. "Execution." "Come, trash of the streets." Gilgamesh holds out his arms and laughs. "Who among you is brave enough to chase the wealth of the King of Heroes? Who among you is foolish enough to spend his life for currency? Show me if any of you have the guts." "Ah," Gilgamesh adds, "But you must take it from me physically. If you take it from me through these...elec-tronics..." "I will simply kill you the instant I find you. Even if the game is over." Gilgamesh's eyes flash. "Only someone with the courage to chase me down and survive will make off with my money."
Klasi Stryde	Among those waiting with their watches and placing in their bets is one Klasi Stryde. He's in a fancy if dirty suit vest, the teenager playing around with his watch and placing a bet. It's a very, very low bet. He both doesn't have the money for a high bet and is way too stingy to put it in anyways. When the fighting starts, Klasi prepares to go somewhere tall and shout to everyone that he wants their watches, please hand them over. Except someone else had a similar idea, but instead of demanding everyone's watches, he demanded everyone come after him for a /massive/ sum of cash. Klasi's eyes widen. Even if he couldn't get the watch, he could get the watches off people who chase after Gilgamesh, like a bottom-feeder. So Klasi moves up to the fountain and shouts to Gilgamesh. "Hey, mister! I don't wanna fight you, is there any way you could just hand over the watch? Afterwards we could go get sandwiches or something! Well, after we stop everyone trying to steal from you." Trying to be friendly, not be a thief, you know, just convince people to hand over their watches. Klasi's probably going to die. He'll get better, but he's probably going to die.
William Pauwel	William Pauwel is here for... Uh. What /is/ he here for, exactly? 'Slumming it around in a hive of scum and villainy' isn't exactly what you think of when Will is involved. Like, there's not even any cool technology to hijack here! No ruins, no adventure! Just... Just /greed/ and so much of it! But... There's also... A pair of Starlight Bandits. And as far as Will is concerned, that's enough reason to turn up anywhere. Of course, it also helps that there is SO MUCH MONEY to be had, and also he is kind of perpetually broke, all things considered. Like, the only thing on his watch are a few coupons to free maintenance on a machine of choice for a week at a time. So! You know! Resource gathering! It's a noble profession! Even if it involves robbing a bunch of people blind. Will consoles himself that they are not good people, so it's fine. Will also consoles himself that there is SOMEONE RIGHT THERE who is just kind of MAKING A GAME OF IT and it's not really stealing if you're winning a contest! So. Over the din of the crowd, there is a roar of an engine, a scream of rubber on the road, and the BANG BANG BANG of a gun firing like wild into the air. And then Will, on his motorbike, charges right for Gilgamesh's awesome, high-roller watch. His goal: To snatch it. His mission: To not need to worry about money EVER AGAIN. His quest: To... not... die. that... that'd be nice.
Starlight Bandits	Right off the bat, Gilgamesh brings a golden light to the proceedings, a glory that Chuck Knifedge City has not known in years. Several in the plaza drop to their knees on the spot, but others just get that gleam of greed in their eyes. The Starlight Bandits look none to impressed, as the man has just totally stolen all the thunder they earned with that sign. Those who break away from the crowd immediately draw guns and start firing up at Gilgamesh. Others are clearly thinking about it, but are too cowed by his presence and simply disperse. Down below, that large fellow surrounded by goons just rolls his eyes before checking his own watch and freezing up. Immediately, he starts barking orders and his goons disperse. Seems that someone managed to get his money via hacking. Further, as everyone focusses on the man, squads of tiny figures begin to disperse through the crowds, lifting wallets out of pockets. It seems that these watches are not the only way to make money during the Shuffle.
Gilgamesh	Klasi just asks for the watch. Gilgamesh laughs at him. It's a pretty laugh. It's not a /nice/ laugh, but it's a pretty laugh. "If you haven't the courage to come for the King's coins, you don't deserve them." But to Klasi's credit, he doesn't get completely speared on something. Gilgamesh apparently doesn't care about bottom-feeding. In fact, he might encourage it. Klasi is completely right - people /will/ go after the big fish, and they /will/ try to steal from him, and they /will/ probably die and leave their watches. Just by intruding in the game, the King of Heroes has altered the rules. A single grand prize, risking it all? Playing it safe and avoiding him altogether? Or waiting around for those who gamble and fail, and collecting the spoils the King clearly neither needs nor cares about? William decides to go for the gold. The bike comes soaring off the roof, shooting towards Gilgamesh's perch. His fingers get tantalizingly close, brushing right next to the watch. He can feel it. And then it's not next to him at all. Superhuman speed jerks it away like a bullfighter pulling back a cloth. Gilgamesh chuckles and claps, a rather sincere applause. "Well done. Your courage is commendable. That kind of daring is always worth admiration, even on a mere thief." The world ripples. Countless weapons emerge from nothingness. Swords, axes, hammers, and then some. Some of them are on fire. Some of them crackle with electricity. Some of them freeze the air around them. The weapons stand at the ready, as if waiting for something, shimmering and glowing behind Gilgamesh, setting the world alight in brilliant, shimmering gold. Gilgamesh snaps his fingers. The Gate of Babylon rains down on Will like the hand of an angry god - and everybody shooting at him, with very little in the way of 'precision' and a whole lot more in the way of 'violence.' Each weapon is probably worth a fortune, but unfortunately, each weapon also disintegrates in a cloud of gold particles once it's landed. Bullets streak past gleaming skin, some of them finding a mark and drawing blood that looks on him as flawless as makeup. Gilgamesh crosses his arms, the watch underneath one of them, and then hops backwards. "It will be a boring event," Gilgamesh says, "If all that happens is this." "I will make it more entertaining still." Gilgamesh takes off the watch and flicks it into Will's hands. "Kill him," he says cheerfully, "And while you do that, I will shoot at you."
Klasi Stryde	Klasi gets rejected. He frowns. "Awww, that's a shame. Then I guess-" And before he can finish his thought, Will's attacking Gilgamesh, getting shot at, and also being tossed the watch. Klasi's thought process goes a little like this: 'wow he stole the watch', 'wow what a cool vehicle', 'I want to ride that vehicle', 'I think I heard it's called a motorcycle', 'alright time to team up with that guy'. And so, Klasi spot turns on his radio, waits for an opening, comments over it, and then suddenly grows draconic wings. They're big and flappy. And so they flap, pulling Klasi into the air. He flies forward, moving to land on the back of Will's motorcycle. "Hello, friend! Name's Klasi Stryde! I'm here to help!" And hopefully get a split of those profits when he does. As he's landing, though, he also says something. "Man, I wish I had a way to get the money off those people without hurting them. Like hacking!" And the swarm inside Klasi's body listens, and it responds. His watch begins beeping, before suddenly, it tries to connect over whatever network the watches are on. It's going to attempt to siphon money off of other watches, minus Gilgamesh and Will's because they're with his ally and the swarm is oddly intelligent enough to react to Klasi's will. Looks like Klasi has a new ability... Maybe he'll be able to use it later for high effect?
William Pauwel	It's there. It's almost there! It's so close to being THERE-- And then it's not. And that's when William Pauwel knew that he done fucked up. "Uhhhhhh," Will starts as the world around him suddenly goes from dim and dingy to gleaming, glorious gold. He looks around to figure out what the cause might be, and only then does he realize that this guy was PROBABLY not the right guy to target for shenanigans. "Oooooohhhhhh craaaaaaaaaa--" The first bombardment hammers down, transforming the world into an inferno of brilliant gold and the city street into a mess of craters. Will screams into the cataclysm of kabooms!! Nobody hears it, because of said kabooms. His bike jumps with the shock, lands again and swerves hard, shocks screeching in protest, "--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--" What kind of people throw THIS MANY WEAPONS at a guy!? WHAT A JER--oh wait that's a watch. Will snatches it! And gets... Temporarily wealthy! This is a good thing. NOT A GOOD THING: STILL BEING BOMBARDED. But Will has an idea. He has an idea-- and a method to execute upon that idea. That is, he has a gun. A gun that he whips out of its holster-- amidst the golden explosions, there's a flash of violet. Will turns, his weapon a little shining star that desperately presses against the tide of golden death! "-AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIHAVEAGUN," Will screams and fires! Again and again and again! Terminal Judgment fires wave after wave of... Electromagnetic pulses!? The pulses ripple through the continuing onslaught of legendary weapons. Now, ordinarily, that wouldn't really... do much. But! Some of these weapons are made of metal. Many are gold, sure, but there are some that are steel, some which contain metals of all stripe. And when when you pass a metal through a strong enough magnetic field, it can sometimes happen that those metals themselves become magnetized. And, when you have enough magnetized metal in one place, they can begin attracting one another! And so, all of Heaven willing, Will might have just turned Gil's Gate of Babylon barrage into a GIANT ROLLING BALL OF POINTY DEATH. Really, he just needs to clear up the bombardment a little bit to try and make a break for it and, again, accomplish his goal Of Not Dying tonight.
Gilgamesh	A bunch of weapons get stuck together. Gil lets it go. Yeah, he /could/ just throw them back in the Gate, and yeah, he /could/ just let them disintegrate, but this is actually sort of entertaining. Nobody's done this kind of thing before. So he just...lets it roll. More than that, the King, as he runs along streetlamps, awnings, windowsills, and other improbable locations, occasionally prods it, turning the ball into an awful, murderous pinball. He's laughing the whole time, because this is hysterically entertaining, and well worth a billion dollars. Which is good, because he clearly doesn't care about recovering it.
Starlight Bandits	Turns out that a barrage of weapons is a good thing to make a bunch of crooks panic and vanish! But when they see Gil throw the watch to Will and let him run with it, they are emboldened anew. Several make for their own vehicles and begin to chase the techno cowboy in a high-speed pursuit, several getting wrecked by the Bouncy Ball of Babylon. Someone also riding a motorcycle pulls up alongside him. It's the woman with the mask. Taking a hand on the handlebars, she tugs the mask down to reveal her mouth has been stitched shut, before smiling and whipping out a derringer from her sleeve to try and shoot him in the head at point-blank range! Meanwhile, Klasi begins to just passively siphon cash from those pursuing. The amounts begin rolling in, each displayed on the screen. From somewhere, he receives a single dollar. Someone actually showed up with just one dollar on their watch. Said someone is in a car with the large fellow from earlier, being roughed up and interrogated. At least, until a large man on a bike swoops in, pulls him free by the scruff of the neck, then drives a knife into the wheels of the car, sending it skidding. Meanwhile, Gilgamesh is having a grand old time as he follows the chase, batting the ball about to cause pile-ups and explosions each time. But soon, he has two companions as he hops from place to place. The Starlight Bandits, riding a clearly recently stolen bike, are driving on the sidewalk. Not interested in the chase, but in the King. "Why did you do this?" shouts Irvine up at him. Not that Gil would know their names, of course.
Gilgamesh	The King is running. The King is keeping up with the motorcycle. Superhuman, apparently, indeed. As the Starlight Bandits question the King of Heroes, he laughs. "Entertainment." His eyes glitter, dark and red. "And perhaps to prove a point." Another weapon fires at one of Will's pursuers with an almost casually brutal motion. The Murder Ball spins wildly out of control as the weapon clangs against it. "One billion of your dollars is not a particularly large investment for an evening of entertaining. These thieves are willing to pitch their lives away for it. For money alone, knowing full well that they are risking their lives, they throw themselves into death. They have put a price on their life and their dreams, charging into the jaws of destruction. If one of them survives the onslaught he will be rich enough to make his dreams come true. Perhaps it will be luck alone. Perhaps precious willpower. Perhaps grand skill. But as the weak are weeded out, what will be left behind are the strong and proud." Those perfect lips turn upwards in a smile. "And, of course, the righteous execution of thieves, as is the right of the King."
Klasi Stryde	As Klasi has joined Will's wild ride, he also realizes that he's MAGIC, as his wish comes true and he starts hacking. As soon as this happens, he squeals, and speaks aloud. "I wish I had all the money in the world!" Nothing happens, obviously, because Klasi isn't actually magic. As they start getting chased by vehicles, though, Klasi realizes he needs to pitch in another way. He lifts one of his hands and turns back towards the vehicle, and his arm begins to shift. It stretches outward, becoming a carbine rifle, but one that's pulsing like it's a laser gun. "You want us? Come and get us!" And then, firing off automatic bursts of lasers, Klasi moves to try and slow down the cars chasing them, or disable them out of the way. It'll probably make the roads more chaotic, and he doesn't have the reaction time to save Will from getting shot at by the masked woman. "Oh, no! Watch out, Will!"
William Pauwel	Will's life is suffering. This isn't actually new at all. Will's life has always been nothing more than a series of events that bring him perilously close to but never deliver him into the cold embrace of death. This is of course no different. He feels almost at home, in fact, with a gigantic ball of relic weaponry bouncing along behind him, growing progressively larger as it feasts on assorted street detritus, devours thieves unfortunate enough to end up in its path, and occasionally swallows up whatever Gil deigns to chuck into its ever-growing mass. Honestly, he'd feel awkward if there WASN'T some kind of impending doom sphere poised to murder him the moment he slips up. Will yelps as he hits what might have been a roadbump but what was probably some poor bastard's attempt to derail his awesome high-tech motorbike and steal his hard-won/stolen/earned blood money. "I-i-i-i-g-g-g-guess this c-c-c-could be w-w-worse--" Will stutters! Not because he has a speech impediment, but because the roads in this wretched hive probably have not seen a decent pavejob in several years. And then a woman pulls up next to him. To Will's detriment, the first thing he thinks is 'oh wow she's cute from the mask up.' To his credit, his next thought is 'OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO HER FACE' shortly followed by 'OH GOD SHE'S GOT A GUN TOO.' Fortunately for our intrepid cowboy hero, two things happen here that are both entirely the result of living on a world that is constantly looking to kill and-or eat you every hour of the day. First, Will ducks his head fast enough that the derringer ball blasts through his FANCY HAT instead of hollowing out a new space between his ears. Second, he hits a button on his motorbike that causes the entire thing to begin emitting a blast of high-thrust plasma which both shoots him rapidly into the air and also creates a massive hazard for everyone /down there/ to have to deal with. "I GOT IT," Will yells to Klasi as he rockets dangerously close to a bird's nest of electrical wiring and bright neon signs. His eyes go wide as he starts FIRING WILDLY to try and NOT DIE. Will yells louder, "I MIGHT NOT GOT IT!!"
Starlight Bandits	The Bandits look up as Gilgamesh sneers down at them. Sneers down at the dreams of these criminals to make it big. From atop his lonely pedestal, he judges everyone present as clowns for his amusement. "Well, Great King," Irvine sneers as he guns the motorcycle. "You should know that every garden has its Serpent. Every throne, a plotting vizer behind it. Every light its shadow. That's us! Irvine Lune!" "Molly Crescent!" THE STARLIGHT BANDITS!" And with that, they zoom ahead. Molly's arms reach out to snag the next streetlight, causing the bike to pivot and face backward, their legs guiding it as they abruptly launch it right at Gilgamesh! Meanwhile, Will and Klasi BLAST OFF! No vehicle in pursuit can do that, but the girl who shot at Will makes the leap to grab a hold of his bike, taking to the air with them! From her sleeve comes a stiletto dagger as she makes the climb, reaching out to grab that golden watch. Furthermore, that large man who had his wheel punctured is still keeping up, the ruined tyre kicking up sparks in the street. He is now literally grabbing his own men and hurling them at Klasi, each one reaching out to snag him as they sail pass!
Gilgamesh	As Will leaves the ground, Gilgamesh gets bored of the bouncing ball of death. With a snap of his fingers, the whole thing disintegrates, vanishing back into the Gate of Babylon. He'll clean them later. Oh, yes. He'll spend long, arduous amounts of time cleaning those weapons, sitting in the Gate of Babylon and enjoying its many comforts. He, who had tasted all pleasures in the world, enjoyed himself to no end. They turn the bike around. They fling it at the King. Superhuman strength comes up to stop it. One hand catches it, closing around the wheel; unfortunately, Gilgamesh still obeys the basic laws of physics despite his superhumanity. The shockwave of the impact knocks him backwards, sending him falling, the bike above him. He, then it, hits the ground. There's a bounce. It doesn't look particularly pretty. Then the King stands up and dusts himself off, and laughs. One hand goes to his head. He's certainly bleeding from a wound on his hand, and certainly bleeding from a wound on his forehead. But he's laughing. "Hahahaha!" "I applaud your will, if nothing else. Nothing to gain from attacking the King, and everything to lose. Your speed. Your opportunity. Your chance." The King licks his lips. "And yet you threw yourselves against an iron wall regardless. Yes, that deserves some praise." "But," Gilgamesh leans forward, his face a smile, "I have no vizier. I permit no serpents in my garden. And you are not fit to stand as my shadow." He straightens. A cloth comes out of nowhere, wiping his face down without his touch. "But you've at least distinguished yourselves from the rest of these wretched things." His eyes shift towards the rest of the thugs. With a shrug, he casts the cloth back into its golden oblivion. "Well done." "Should I reward you as befits someone who strikes the King?" The Gate of Babylon yawns wide, much wider than before. There are weapons all over the place, more than is even remotely reasonable, more than he threw casually in Will's direction. Gilgamesh's cold smile doesn't even seem human as he watches the weapons slowly emerge, ready to launch like missiles. And then he snaps his fingers. The Gate vanishes. The King yawns. "No, I suppose not. I've seen enough for my money's worth. I bought the lives of a few worthless, miserable gutter-trash wretches, I've seen a new and entertaining trick, and I've seen a few who are at least passably interesting. I am done with this game now." He turns around and waves over his shoulder. "Do as you like. A billion is no real investment for the King." And then he's just heading off.
Klasi Stryde	Well, that's certainly surprising! As the bike goes rocketing up, Klasi braces so he doesn't go flying off. He considers helping Will with the woman moving to attack him...but he has his own focus as the large giant is literally throwing people at him. "Woah!" Klasi shifts again, the carbine melding into a large wooden mallet, swarm shifting from steel to wood rapidly and without any real rhyme or reason. As the guys come flying at him, using one hand to brace, Klasi moves to smack them in the face and send them flailing back to the ground, though one of them might be able to grab the hammer or his leg and just yank him off. If they do that, he won't be much prepared to respond...which is why he's holding on with all his might! "Can you like, make this thing do a loop-de-loop? Maybe send her flying off it!" And probably them, but Klasi doesn't think of that.
William Pauwel	Will isn't near enough to the Bandits to notice them ALMOST GET GILGA-MASH'D, so his Fanboy Radar doesn't compel him to drop everything he's doing to go to their aid. Which is probably good, all things considered. He has enough to worry about as-is with the nonsense playing out a hundred feet over the city streets. That /SAME WOMAN/ clambers up the Mistral's flank like the world's clingiest spider. Will screams a yelp of surprise, not just because SHE'S GOT A KNIFE but also holy crap she's persistent. "Hey. Hey! Stop that! I don't wanna drop you, miss!" Will yells, forcing out one of his BIG CYBERNETIC ARMS to grab at her like that might somehow keep her from stabbing any of his important bits. "This is REALLY high up! If you kill me, that's it! We're probably all dead--" And then actual human beings are hurled like projectiles at the airborne scifi bike, and Will just kind of stares gobsmacked before responding to ALL THIS NONSENSE by cutting his thrusters and bringing his bike in for a landing... "Hey Klasi, hang on tight!" ...Right through the glass facade of and onto a mid-level floor of a nearby office building. The Mistral's engine roars as it tears a swath of destruction through a multiversal phishing call center and erupts from the other side, thrusters feathering to try and hop across other buildings in Will's continuing quest to Not Die.
Starlight Bandits	The Starlight Bandits had braced for the onslaught they witnessed previously, but it seems Gil feels entertained enough to let them live. "Hey Irvine?" "Yes Molly?" "I really want to punch that guy in the face." "Me too dear. Me too." With that mallet, Klasi smacks away the last man hurled at him, now entirely out of the big man's sight. He's furious, and starts screaming about his one dollar. It was him?! The guy with all the goons only bet that much? Meanwhile, Will, Klasi, and the woman with the stitched mouth crash through a skyscraper window, barrelling in between the cubical of the workers who are thankfully not present. The impact made her grip slip, and she's only keeping hold with her fingertips. She looks up at Will with a furious glower, before taking that knife and driving it into the rear wheel before letting go. She could not have picked a worse time to do it. The opposite window is coming up, and with that sudden loss of speed, they're not going to clear the jump.
Klasi Stryde	"It's my dollar now!" Klasi screams back, looking behind himself with a smug reaction before he turns back and...sees that they're not going to make it. Okay, that's not good, that's not good at all. Assuming Will doesn't stop the motorcycle or turn it around or something, Klasi has an idea for how they're going to clear the jump, and it's... Stupid. See, Klasi's bright idea is to take those giant wings he has, and start flapping them while holding tight onto the bike to give it some extra airtime. Try and help it clear the jump just barely. It's probably not going to work, not on its own, even if it gives the bike a second more. But, hopefully with Will's assistance, they could do something useful...?
William Pauwel	What! WHAT!? The stitched-mouth woman KNIFES WILL'S AWESOME RIDE!? The scifi cowboy's expression turns from one of abject horror to terrible, old-man-yelling-at-kids-on-his-lawn-tier anger, straight back to abject horror again over the course of this rapid series of events. "DAMNIT," Will yells as the Mistral putters and falters, it's moments away from missing the next window, moments away from crashing and burning and possibly killing the both of them with a rain of tempered glass. Will already HAS a few shards lodged in various bits of meat, but the promise of a billion smackers in gold and pure adrenaline keep him going. Klasi does the absurd to hopefully get them enough lift to survive, and Will... Also... does the absurd. "JUDGMENT," he yells, his gun rapidly unfolding and blossoming as the light within it grows more and more intense. The Mistral begins to fall, and Will points his gun at an angle towards the ground... And fires...! There's a great plume of flame and a terrible wash of heat and hot air as the charged plasma shot erupts from the weapon's barrel. With the might of Newton's laws and the ensuing thermal updraft, they might just have the acceleration they need to bridge the gap...! But man, it's probably going to suck to be anyone underneath Will and his bike right now.
Starlight Bandits	Only in the Pigpen Shuffle could this happen. A combination of Klasi's wings and Will's downward shot and thermal updraft give them the lift they need to not splatter on the road below. The bust shot melts through the street and exposes the sewers below just as their pursuers round the corner. At the speeds they're going, they can't stop in time, and plough through the new hole, causing a brand new pile-up. And so they land, safe! With most of their competition in the dirt behind them, they're able to drive away and hole up for the rest of the night. When the Shuffle ends, and the results are posted, Gilgamesh is far and away at the top in terms of 'how much was bet,' and Will is at the top in terms of 'how much was won.' As for the Bandits? Their watches, in fact, had no money at all on them.