Scene #6197: Tower of Santaga

Owner	Pose
Ritsuka Fujimaru	A new floor has opened in the Tower of Santaga! Reports have come in stating that numerous children could be heard screaming from above the first floor. To make matters worse, the screeching and roaring of wyverns could be heard coming from the same floor as well, along with a mad woman laughing and barking orders as if directing the cacophany. With all those things coinciding, there's little doubt left as to what could be happening even without seeing any of it. As tower climbers come closer to reaching the massive gate leading to the next floor, the noise grows louder. Alongside the screams, the screeches, and the crazed laughter is the sound of flapping wings, rumbling loud enough to shake the ground, and a greasy, salty smell wafting through the area. As the doors open, everything becomes clear. There's children in the air. At least ten of them are being carried around, all making various sorts of frightened and excited noises while holding large ribbons and being grasped in the deadly claws of... Fried chicken? There's also fried chicken in the air. Massive fried chickens, featherless monstrosities somehow managing to stay afloat with crispy breaded wings, practically covering the ceiling as they swoop in and out like a swarm of delicious fried locusts with gift-wrapped boxes strapped to their backs. The source of the rumbling, meanwhile, is firmly on the ground: An oversized turkey, brimming with stuffing and dripping with gravy, stomping around and belching while Jeanne d'Arc directs the chickens above her with her flag. Instead of the usual black armor, black sword, and black flag, however, she's dressed in a black Christmas-y with red highlights and wielding a distinctly red and green banner on her flag. "So you've arrived... It took you long enough!" She shouts in challenge as she turns to point her sword at the tower climbers, the normally black and purple blade wrapped with purple wrapping paper and topped with a red and green ribbon. "But this is where your climb ends! If you cannot solve the mystery of this floor, you shall be doomed to Gilgamesh's naughty list for the rest of your days!" Is anyone going to tell her that the third floor's been reached already?
Touta Konoe	Archer had once asked Touta to look after a certain Servant. At the time he didn't think much of it till he met the Servant in question. While she made threats she had seemed willing enough to get along. Even though she spoke of destroying evil and killing men in the name of justice, with the short time he worked with her, he didn't think her so bad. Perhaps a bit proud but still a reasonable enough person. So when he hears the sounds of wyverns. When he hears the sounds of children screaming, and the sound of -that- laugh, there's no stopping him from rushing up the stairs of the tower. He has no idea what's going on but it has to stop! "Jeanne!!! Don't do- ...It?" From a battle cry to a look of confusion. Touta's train of thought is completely derailed trying to figure out what was going on. Flying fried chicken? An oversized Turkey? And where'd she get these kids from? Hopefully not from he thinks they did. As she greets the tower climbers, Touta immediately bolts over to her past the turkey before it even has a chance to notice him and just like the first time they meet just plops himself right in front of her? He's going close enough to whisper since he doesn't want to ruin all this build up she just had. "Hey, Jeanne...Are those fried chicken's your wyverns...And please don't tell me those are the kids from the base..." She may not consider his boss a threat yet, but she really hasn't had to deal with a woman who knows how to implement a torture that can simulate the pain of a 100 years...
Solomon Roget	Ohkaaaaaaay. When Solomon had heard of this Tower of Santaga (it was practically impossible not to), he'd expected something a little more coherent. Maybe snow demons instead of the usual snow imps, or... something logical. But flying food? Well, it wasn't /entirely/ irrational, since evil witches tended to be mad. And fried chicken is definitely not Christmas food - despite the festive adornments. Everything about this is wrong, and he's basically going to be relying on everyone else to solve whatever "mystery" this incorrectly-festive witch is going on about. So, there's flying creatures and they look corporeal. Solomon sighs and unsheathes his crossbow, loading up with a bolt and having a look around. During all this, he's really, really, REALLY hoping someone else shows up, someone with a knack for solving complex magical puzzles instead of just hitting them really hard... especially considering those children can't withstand backfiring magical explosions like Solomon could.
Android 17	Android Seventeen reaches the top of the stairs, looking at the cocophony of what the hell is going on even. There are children in various stats of terrified and having fun, or something in between. Carried along by fried chicken, while also holding ribbons in their hands? Below them a giant Turkey... And a pale woman in a christmas themed set of armor. Android 17 stares in awe of the glorious rediculiousness of the thing infront of him, as the subtle horror of realization that those are actual kids...the various fried food may not be, however. Part of him just immediately wants to punch Jean in the throat and then proceed to start punching birds and grab kids...but doing that would mean that the birds might drop the kids...and the giant Turkey looks hungry somehow. Maybe there is something to do with the Ribons? Hmmm... "You need Kami," Seventeen says, flatly.
Ritsuka Fujimaru	Touta's voice draws a mixture of reactions. The wyverns ignore him for the most part while the children have mixed reactions ranging from crying louder to just pointing and staring. The giant turkey stomps around as if it's about to turn towards him, but resumes its aimless wandering once he gets close enough to Jeanne. Jeanne herself turns her sword towards him on reflex, but lowers it as he starts whispering. "Yes. Some. Why not?" She answers the questions in order, narrowing her eyes slightly as Solomon arrives and readies his weapon. "Not all of them. Why would it matter where they're from? They're..." Jeanne d'Arc pauses, then laughs and brings her hand up towards Touta. "That's enough about that. Now. Are you here to solve this mystery and climb the tower as well? If so, join..." She brings her sword up, pointing it towards Solomon and Seventeen. "Those two over there, and make your moves!" A beat, and then Seventeen gets a raised eyebrow. "... What is a Kami? IF I don't have it, then it's probably not going to help you here!" As if on cue, the giant turkey turns its headless gap towards Solomon and Android 17. The front leg raises, then slams down towards them with enough force to send shockwaves through the ground while burning bits of stuffing hurtle towards the pair! The wyverns, meanwhile, continue flying about. Jeanne herself has not moved to attack anyone, instead watching the arrivals for the time being.
Android 17	"Kami means 'god'. It's not exactly right, but it's the only other translation that I know." Seventeen shrugs at that. However...before they could get more details, there is now a violent turkey charging them. Seventeen isn't sure what the game here is, because this was all weird as hell, but then again, trying to understand the situation...hm! Seventeen, with the combination of flight and Zee fighting, decides that, no he doesn't want to deal with the Turkey...and also Solomon said he was going to suplex it. That was going to be metal to watch, or make a great 'America's Funniest Home Video'. Either way, he crouches, and before the shockwave could get to him, a burst of speed takes him into the air, litterally nearly too fast to see, as he takes a quick assessment of the field. Trying to see what demented logic this all took, and how to solve the puzzle. "Eat fried foods?" he asks at Jeanne, continuing the trend of asking innane questions.
Solomon Roget	Oh. There's a giant stomping headless turkey to deal with too. Solomon sighs, puts his crossbow away, and prepares to grapple the stomping turkey, relying on his great strength to wrangle it away from the others and pin it to the spot. He utterly disregards the flaming foodstuffs, straight-up charging through and tanking the hit to get his grapple in, gritting his teeth as he does so. And while he's here, in this position, might as well have some fun with it! If he can get his grab on, he'll try to flip the turkey over in a sort of suplexing motion. Because why not? The situation's weird enough that this is as likely as anything to be a solution. There's something he can't quite stop thinking about though. This is a Christmas-themed tower, yes? There's gift boxes on the flying fried chicken, and ribbons in the kids' hands. That's kind of Christmassy. "Geh... hey, I actually just got an idea here. Think either of you can do something with the boxes and ribbons? Like. I dunno. Tie a bow?" It's a bit silly, but it makes a sort of inane sense.
Touta Konoe	She admitted it. Oh this was not good...Okay he's gonna need to try and salvage this somehow. He's not too sure how all that familiar the wyverns are with him but he's gonna have to figure out how to get these kids down. He's not gonna hurt these wyverns if he doesn't have to, after all, they've actually been doing a good job keeping the caves animal population down back home. On the other hand...This situation is literally what they were afraid of happening when she let them out and about the first day. Touta's forced into action. While he can't fly like he knows 17 can he can wall run, and there's plenty of wall to run up on if anything else. So he'll run till he's high enough to jump onto one of the 'fried chickens' and try speaking to one of the kids being held by it. "Hey! You okay?!" He honestly has no idea. They were so high up he couldn't tell if they were actually freaking out or having fun being flung around by giant flying fried-chickens. Maybe this was all a game still, right? Right? Well, if they were actually freaking out then he'd try to steer the 'chicken' into the ground. He's known them long enough now right? They trust him...Maybe? But if that doesn't work, he's got a magical sword that can increases it's weight to that of tons and he'll just keep doing that till the flying chicken descends to the ground of it's own volition. If the dragon decided to drop the kid before it was safe he'd probably jump down after the kid but hopefully that won't be the case or one of the others will catch them. He knows Seventeen's reliable at least.
Ritsuka Fujimaru	"... Then I don't need this 'kami' at all!" Jeanne scoffs the moment Seventeen mentions God, clearly a sore spot for her. Or at least a matter of disdain for her, considering how dismissive she is of Kami afterwards. She frowns when he suggests eating the food, shaking her head slowly and saying nothing yet as her attention turns towards the turkey. Said turkey, meanwhile, has its wings full with Solomon as he catches its mighty... Drumstick! Leg. Meat. Is it actually attacking him while facing backwards? If anyone's familiar with the anatomy of turkey, then yes. The giant meat monster is heavy, to be sure, but Solomon's might succeeds in lifting it off the ground! It tips upwards, but instead of being flipped over so easily... The leg breaks off. Stuffing spills everywhere, too, as it topples around and roars from its head hole, burning hot gravy starting to spray out once more. It aims high in an attempt to compensate for Seventeen's amazing speed and Solomon's ground-based assault with sheer volume and turning the floor into a burning, slippery hazard! Even the walls aren't safe as the gravy starts to reach those as well, making the entire 'battlefield' smell like some sort of Kentucky-based chicken chain! Touta's speed is still enough to outpace the walls becoming a sanitation hazard as well, however, and he's soon face to face with a kid that's stopped screaming to just stare at him. There's some snot coming out of one nostril, and the child nods slowly while pointing at the box on another fried chicken's back. "Y... Yeah. It's kinda scary this high... Yeah, but the lady said we can have what's in the theres if we helped." The child waggles that ribbon around in front of Touta's face for good measure. It's a sign! Probably. The flying meatbags, meanwhile, aren't attacking yet nor belching anything out at all.
Touta Konoe	Touta's lucky enough to avoid getting burned by magically hot gravy. So when speaks to the kid he's relieved that they were alright for the most part. He'll take the ribbon from the kid, and then pat their head. This was probably super scary as it was. He maneuvers himself off the back of the chicken and more down towards the leg where the kid is being held. But instead of just taking the ribbon, he'll be taking the entire kid! "Just take my hand." As soon as the child reached out, he'd use his other hand to hold tight to the beast before slapping it's leg in an attempt to have it release said child and grip him tightly as he was forced to keep his blade in his mouth with no sheathe to work with. He figures there's gonna be a bit of shaking from there but once it subsides or he just pulls himself up, he'll try bringing the two back up top of the beastly chicken and see what the deal is with these ribbons and the presents on top of them.
Solomon Roget	"Well now that's just disappointing." Solomon voices his disdain as his attempted suplex yields him a mere drumstick for his efforts. And of course it's spraying a food-based attack again. Alright, so suplexing doesn't work... let's try hoisting it up off the ground entirely! Huuuuuup. Solomon changes his grip around, trying to get himself fully under the turkey and ready to shoulder it, potentially giving him the leverage and control needed to start aiming that burst of searing hot stuffing away from the others. Speaking of, he's utterly ignoring any and all attacks coming from this thing - instead simply powering through and letting whatever damage he takes just happen. Yeah, he's gonna need to patch himself up a bit, but whatever. In other news, it sounds like the ribbon idea has merit! The park ranger and the other kid involved with the birds, though, so Solomon keeps his focus on the turkey. He settles for talking out his part of the plan with the others. "I'll see if I can keep the flailing food from interfering too badly, even if the suplex didn't really work out." Also, he makes a mental note to ask what the hell all of this is later.
Android 17	Seventeen blows air out of his mouth to push his hair up slightly. "Bothersome." he says, before flying over towards one of the other crying children. "Hey there, what's your name?" he asks, trying to calm them down while wrapping an arm around their waist...and then aiming a hand to sever each leg from the bird. Quick percise strikes with his hand, which at the speed he can make them go, is much more like a knife than a blunt strike. "Hey now, I am going to need you to be brave while I get you out of this. I know it's scary, but I was in a situation like this once. It was pretty scary too."
Ritsuka Fujimaru	The child Touta's speaking with is rather easy to handle, handing over the ribbon first before taking his hand outright. As expected, the chicken releases the child upon slapping, and it continues flying about aimlessly while he clambers onto its back. Seventeen gets largely the same results as Touta as he, too, approaches one of the children. This one, however, looks to be a little less willing to talk than the first one. Also, much more averse to touching, if the screaming is any indication. The kid calms down relatively quickly, though, as the ranger offers those calming words! She blubbers incoherently, but finally manages to utter something quietly while finally settling down. The chicken, meanwhile, doesn't continue flying like Touta's, but instead keeps flying around for only a few more seconds before abruptly stopping its flapping and crashing down afterwards. They're not very strong against outright damage, it seems. Good thing that kid was secured first! The turkey, meanwhile, continues thrashing at Solomon as its opponent proves to be deceptively strong even with that size difference. It tries slamming itself down at him, but only manages to tear itself apart more as his shoulder forces it to start spraying gravy directly at a wall instead of EVERYWHERE. Stuffing starts to leak out from the other end, too, although the stuffing is considerably cooler to the touch and rather dense. It seems as though it would make a convenient cushion for... Something. Another precaution, perhaps? Jeanne, meanwhile, simply watches this turn of events with a light smirk. The present boxes remain on the chickens' backs and appears to be normal present boxes in every sense of the word, but something seems to be keeping them closed even when trying to force the tops open. Something's missing.
Android 17	Seventeen slowly flies down towards the fallen chicken, with it's box still on it's back. Huh. Flying down with the child, he lands so that he can put him down. "There you go, nice and brave. Hey, do me a favor and put that bow on the present. Don't worry, I'll stick with you so that nothing bad happens." Seventeen continues to encourage the child. "Or you can give the bow to me and I'll do it. I'm a long sterdier than I look." he says, with a soft smile to the child. He keeps one eye on that turkey...just in case.
Touta Konoe	Blinks for a moment as he's distracted by divulged stuffing. It does look like there's quite a bit of it around for a nice cushy landing though it'd probably freak the kids out, so he'll save that for later. In the mean time he'll just make sure that this kid doesn't let loose. "Alright bud, guess we're gonna see what Santa Jeanne decided to get you for Christmas..." He really hopes that 17's wrong about the explosion parts. He'd definitely cover the kid from the blast, but it'd be probably incredibly traumatic if anything and the last thing he wants to do is freak out any of the kids and need to send him home like that. So he'll take the bow the child gave him and place it atop the present. Once they see what's inside they can figure out what to do from there. Though if this chicken doesn't land soon. He'll probably need to land it himself. After all, he's got to help get the rest of the kids down too.
Solomon Roget	This turkey sure is the opposite of sturdy. Ah well, at least it's easily redirected. Noting that the other two have the Christmas puzzle figured out, Solomon starts dragging the turkey toward the stairs down, dangerous end first. He's careful to aim the turkey's attack /away/ from anything important, though unless the searing spray stops it's going to seriously muck up the way down... oh well. Looks like this floor's close to cleared, and at any rate the immediate "threat" - such as it is - is dealt with. Only thing left to do is see if the presents are actually presents.
Ritsuka Fujimaru	Seventeen's child wobbles as she regains her footing, stumbling for a moment before righting herself and approaching the box apprehensively. She glances back at Seventeen once and nods, taking a few more ginger steps towards it to place that bow right on top. There's a brief flash of light from under the lid, and the child scurries back to Seventeen, but nothing explodes! It's probably safe to open that box now. Touta's child seems a little less worried about explosions, even lingering near Touta and trying to get around him to see what's in the box. As with the other box, there's a flash of light from under the lid, and then nothing! The box slides open easily enough since... Well, it's a present box. It's not a rusted chest or anything! It's fancy cardboard. Inside the box is... ... Foam nunchucks. They light up and they're padded, so they're (probably) child-safe! The child by Touta certainly seems to want to get his hands on the thing, but the child by Seventeen is too distracted by the giant turkey Solomon's manhandling down the stairs. Speaking of giant turkeys, that giant turkey is practically falling apart by the time Solomon gets it to the stairs! There's a trail of stuffing and gravy where it had been dragged, although it's not quite so searing now with most of the magic having left its giant already-cooked corpse. As it's drawn further away, the flying chickens also seem to be losing steam as their flight becomes more of a slow hover. The children they're holding seem less excited and screamy than before, if that's any consolation. As more of those boxes get bows put on them and popped open, it'll become clearer that most of the presents inside are some sort of foam weapon or otherwise something the children can use to safely whack each other with. Upon opening the respective final box, however, it's not a foam weapon that greets the tower climber. It's a key! There's a burst of confetti and glitter from the box as well, along with a rolled-up banner that drops from the ceiling and lands right in the food mush! "... You passed. Congratulations are in order." Jeanne chuckles lightly as she steps towards the three, kicking that banner aside in the hopes that nobody'll notice it. "You'd best be thankful for this opportunity to prove yourselves. The next time we meet, it may not be on such peaceful terms!"
Android 17	Seventeen gives a thumbs up at the child. "See, Timberly, no explosions." When done, he proceeds to help more children. About as violently as before, because that is now Seventeen rolls. However, at the end of the day, the final present is revealed, and it's a key. "Why do I feel you're not actually happy we succeeded?" he says, before she gives them the 'NEXT TIME GADGET, NEXT TIME!' Seventeen just releases another sigh.
Solomon Roget	"So that's it, eh? Put the ribbon on the box and we win." Solomon seems a bit let down that the challenge ended so readily. However, Jeanne's closing threat piques his interest. He directs a taunt at her: "I do hope you're capable of making that an actual threat. Easy fights bore me." Not ideal for making friends, but then again he's not out to befriend insane witches. And bonus: the park ranger seems to agree with Solomon's sentiment. Speaking of. Proper introductions are in order. "Ah. Excuse me... park ranger, right? Name's Solomon. What's yours?" He extends a hand in greeting, looking to strike up a bit of post-game conversation with who looks to be a capable fighter in his own right. Could be fun to spar. "And, you /are/ a park ranger, right? I'm just making an assumption right now, so I'd like to be sure."
Touta Konoe	On one hand, Touta feels like he should be reprimanding for stealing childen away from the base and out into the Multiverse without telling him. Though technically this was probably his fault for not keeping a good enough eye on her. So he walks up to Saint Santa Jeanne nudging her. Once again he whispers to her, "Hey, it's good none of the kids got hurt but you need to apologize to them for the scare. Or at least try and make it up to them..." He turns back towards the kids now that everything seems to be in order and that the children all appear to be safe and sound, he hopes none of them are still freaked out but even if they are still enjoying the presents...She better not think she's off the hook for abducting them though.
Android 17	"Android 17," He responds to Solomon, "And yes, that is my offical occupation." he says, looking towards Touta... "Yeah...soooo...kidnapping children is SORT of a crime...not that I'm a judge or police officer."
Ritsuka Fujimaru	"Why wouldn't I be? You answered the challenge I issued, and you passed. With only three of you, even." Jeanne maintains that smirk, although there's a brief twinge of annoyance in her face at that. She glances around briefly as if expecting something, then scoffs as Touta nudges her. "And /why/ do you think I would apologize after giving them such valuable presents?" The kids do seem to be enjoying themselves, at least. Whacking each other with foam weapons, making stuffing and gravy angels, eating floor chicken. "I think they've gotten more than enough in return." Jeanne responds, clearly not thinking about the sanitary dangers at stake here. Solomon, however, gets a more intrigued and genuine smirk from the Avenger. "Oh? If it's a real fight you want, then keep your ears open. I'll be sure to put on a better show next time." That grin grows a little more crazed as she looks from Solomon to Seventeen, even moreso when he mentions the CRIMENESS of what she had done. "A judge /would/ frown upon this, hm? I should find a judge for this, shouldn't I?"
Touta Konoe	Touta feels like both of them are about to be put on the naughty list at this point. Seriously...But before 17 gets the wrong idea he should probably clear this up. "Hold on, Seventeen before we give the final verdict here...Hey Jeanne, did you ask Yukihime or anyone if it was alright to borrow the kids?" He's really not sure if she did or not, but if she did he could honestly believe that depending on who she asked she might have been given approval to do something reckless as long as she was willing to face hell if they got hurt... That said, someone has to give her the benefit of the doubt though right? And if not the guy who was suppose to be looking after her than who?
Solomon Roget	Who in their right mind would let a madwoman like Jeanne look after children?! While Seventeen's words rang true with Solomon, it was Touta's comments that wrenched his attention fully towards the matter. "Borrow the kids from /who/? And does that person know what she did to them?!" He's /pissed/. This incident has awoken Solomon's righteous streak, and he's not holding back on the rant. "I'm with Android the 17th on this. Jeanne needs to face trial for this. Child endangerment at the least." The way he says Seventeen's name, though... it's like he thinks 'Android' is a person's name rather than a description of what he is.
Android 17	"No just Android 17. Seventeen for short," he comments, trying to clear that up. He turns towards Jeanne...apparently she had some explaining to do.
Ritsuka Fujimaru	"... Hm? Why would I ask anyone else? The children agreed." Jeanne sounds rather confused by Touta's question, moreso by the possible reasons behind it rather than the question itself. "If they agreed, then there's no problem. But if you feel there really is a problem..." Her gaze shifts back to Solomon and Seventeen, her grip on the sword tightening for the first time tonight. "What do you intend to do? There's plenty of room here to fight, and the children can be escorted away easily enough. Shall we~?"
Android 17	Seventeen looks towards Jean...thinking for a moment. "Hey kids? Did you agree to come and do this thing?"
Ritsuka Fujimaru	The kids take a break from whacking each other with foam weapons and smearing themselves with room-temperature food to nod towards Seventeen, some even looking rather enthused about answering in the affirmative. A few of the more unruly ones take the distraction as an opportunity to ambush the ones actually responding. It's starting to smell the bad kind of greasy in here now that everything is lukewarm or room temperature.
Touta Konoe	At this point this is where he interjects on both sides seeing that both sides are getting antsy. He turns towards Solomon first adddressing his remark to start a fight. "Wait, wait, wait! This is partially my fault. See this girl's actually a co-worker of mine. Where I work we have an area for younger kids. She's not in charge of looking over them usually but I never told her the rules concerning them... At this point he turns towards Jeanne. "Jeanne, what do you think's gonna happen when we get home and there's a bunch of kids missing without any explanation? I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't a search party going out looking for them already..." Then he turns towards the kids, he's already heard what the one kid said but that said with a sort of smirk, "Seriously, they're having fun now but if Yukihime finds out they went missing out of the blue she'll have my head rolling...Literally. But...since you kept an eye on them and nobody got hurt let's just agree this won't happen again without asking first agreed?"
Ritsuka Fujimaru	"Then that's their own faults for panicking so quickly. Children don't just stay in one place." Jeanne doesn't seem nearly as concerned about the kids being missing as Touta suggests the people back at the base might, but it still draws a weary sigh from the Christmas-themed witch. "... Fine. If it'll stop these annoying questions and future ones like it."
Solomon Roget	Solomon reaches for his sword, ready to clash swords at Jeanne's mention of a fight. "Hey Seventeen. You want this fight, or can I have it?" He doesn't have to wait long to get shot down - by both Touta AND Seventeen. Apparently, this whole arrangement is actually perfectly legal, if a bit reckless. There goes the justice angle. And although there's still the chance to test his mettle against a willing combatant, the motivation to fight for fighting's sake just isn't there for him. He gives up the idea, and falls back on simply keeping an eye on Jeanne in case she strikes first. This whole mess has just been one absurdity after another, and by now he just wants to return home.
Android 17	Seventeen shrugs at Jeanne, "Well, I mean...if our positions were reversed, what would have YOU thought about the kids? Anyway, it's just irresponsible, not...well, kidnapping." he says, after he explains his name again. He feels he's always going to do that...but at the same time feels even...less inclined to actually use his real name.
Touta Konoe	Touta's pretty sure that abducting children without the consent of their guardian is still considered kidnapping, even if the kids don't know it. But he's sure that if he mentions that Jeanne's gonna get mad. So he won't. "Well, at least everyone got a big if not kinda weird Christmas meal." He can imagine if the kids aren't freaking out and enjoying the toys hopefully they were going to thank her at least. Especially if she let them off the island even if she wasn't suppose to so I guess...He can nudge a few of them to try and say thanks. Who knows, maybe he'll even see her give a sincere smile for once. That'd be new!