Scene #6203: Tower of Santaga

Owner	Pose
Asterios	Years ago, years and years and years ago, there was once a creature who lived on an island. Or rather, underneath the island. Beneath the land of Crete, there was a maze-- some might have called it the first maze, the Chaos Labyrinth. There he lived, trapped in a place of darkness and despair and chained by guilt and self-loathing, for no mortal metal could ever dare to constrain the might of the minotaur. That place... Is not here. Instead, as as you come up the stairs and throw open the doors to this forty-third floor of the Tower of Santaga, what greets you is not a terrible, meandering dungeon, but rather... A... Whole bunch of snow. Snow, all arranged in a vast, winding course with banking turns, narrow pathways that wind around patches of ice, and straightaways decorated with translucent Gilmas Present Boxes and snowmen that appear to be wearing bucket helmets and menace with toy(??) guns and artillery shells. And there, right in front of you, is... a great big checkered stripe across the ice just under a huge banner that reads 'ASTERIOKART' in delightfully christmassy colors. Underneath, a smug-looking and extraordinarily floofy minotaur stands proudly in front of an enormous, heavily armed sleigh. He's... All decked out in Christmas cheer. "Aa!" Asterios calls to his visitors. "Welcome! Friends! It is time... For you to face... this floor's challenge...! Just like Santa races across the world... We will race around-- my Labyrinth!" D-did he build this whole place with his Noble Phantasm? That seems like... kind of an abuse of legendary power, doesn't it? Well, he's in the Concord, so it's probably fine. There are various snowmobiles out and waiting for somebody to hop in waiting just off the side of the starting line. There's a whole variety of styles and types-- some are straight up motorized vehicles, others are two-person sleds like the one Asterios is lashed to, still others seem to be straight up TOP THRILL DRAGSTERS, though maybe you should choose a kart that can actually handle corners...
Tanya Degurechaff	Asterios is not alone. For standing beside him is a small blonde girl in a red and white satin dress with a large, matching beret. Buckled shoes, tall white socks, and ballroom gloves. Hair impeccably brushed and silken. As people begin to arrive, they may catch a glimpse of a sour expression that is quickly replaced with a wide, forced smile. Tanya hates this, the whole emotional season. It's best not to ask why, no one could know the reason. It could be that she prefers boots overall. It could be the dress that's fit for a ball. But whatever her reason, the shoes or the lace, Tanya supports her Servant while hating this place.
Jonathan Joestar	Jonathan Joestar is dressed in an appropriate manner for the cold. His boots are up to his knee, finely pointed and lined with a variety of ornate buckles that spell out JO*JO, spurred as if for horseback riding. His elaborate getup was, more than eye-catching, incredibly flamboyant. "A race with modern machines, is it? Very well, I'll meet that challenge!" The vehicle he embarks onto is shaped like a horse. Actually, that's what it seems to be ... ?! Dragging the horse-themed snowmobile to the starting line, Jonathan mounts up, his reasons for appearing here as ambiguous as a season's greetings.
Cu Chulainn	Snowmobile racing. That sounds like a lot of fun, Cu Chulainn determines, as he stands with the group on the forty-third floor, looking over their labyrinth and their challenges. Dressed in a thick winter coat over his bodysuit, the Irishman nods to Asterios, giving him a thumbsup and a grin. "Alright! I'm in it to win it!" Moving over to the snowmobiles, Cu Chulainn grabs one that's kind of like a blue motorcycle-snowmobile, and jumps on. He's not a Rider, so he doesn't instinctively know how to drive it, but he knows the basics of driving a motorcycle, so it should be fine, right? "I'm ready to go! Let's win ourselves some stockings, yeah?" A thrumm of the engine. When it's time to go...Cu Chulainn's ready to go.
Asterios	Tanya has no good reason to be so upset! Her dress is adorable, her outfit wonderfully Christmassy. Truly, she is the angel of the Rhine, the holiday fairy who brings good cheer and warm tidings to all the loyal little boys and girls of the Reich. And Asterios... Is her reindeer. He even has a big set of fake reindeer horns on his head! It's... Kind of redundant, honestly. He already has horns. But hey, whatever, it's the season. "Rules are. Simple," Asterios explains as others bring their respective vehicles up to the line. "Race all the way across track. First to cross finish line wins. But! You can also... Attack other racers. In presents, there will be weapons. Use as you like!" In other words, it's not just a race. It's... a wacky race...! Overhead, a flying soldier of the Reich hovers down, carrying a stoplight from a rope. "Get ready!" Asterios announces, dropping into a ready position. His booted feet dig into the snow...! The light flashes from red! To yellow! To green! Asterios... explodes into motion! It seems he's focusing on Defense this round! The first section of track is a simple straightaway, admittedly with great big snowballs being flung from either side of the track by what look to be... particularly festive skeletons? Maybe this really /is/ part of the Labyrinth! Asterios charges through, snowballs slapping frostily against his arms and shoulders! FORWAAAAAARD!
Jonathan Joestar	Nodding in understanding, Jonathan gives a thumbs-up to Cu and Asterios. The little girl with the minotaur was positively adorable -- it was a good thing his fiance wasn't here, otherwise she'd probably smother the little girl in hugs and candies. Or try to, anyway. "Indeed, may the best steed prevail. I wish you both the best of luck, but you'll be eating the clouds of snow in my wake!" Jonathan wasn't terribly experienced with modern vehicles, just yet. But he knew enough to start his mechanical horse via twisting the key at the nape of its neck and pulling on one of the levers sticking out of its 'saddle'. Raising its head with a metallic whinny, its front plows churn to a slow start for an agonizing two seconds before it really takes off. "Hyyah!" The way it bounced on its front and back plows almost made it look like a high-speed merry-go-round. Using his strong and lengthy arms to lean over the side of his steed and scoop up one of the presents in question, Jonathon tears away the festive wrappings to reveal .... A Candy Cane?! But it seemed like it could serve as an adequete lance. With his coat billowing in the wind kicked up by his mount, Jonathan takes off towards the Reintaur pulling Tanya's sled along, twirling the gigantic candy cane in his hand until it was held like a throwing javelin. "Kooooh ...." The giant of a gentleman's chest expands as he breathes in. The candy shines bright, as if it were a christmas light. "This is my cheerful Hamon! Solstice White OVERDRIIIIVE!" ATTACK: Jonathan hurls a glowing candy cane at Asterios! It spins through the air like a drill!
Tanya Degurechaff	The stupendously fake smile Tanya wars remains firmly in place as she greets Jonathan and Cu Chulainn, "Welcome. Please enjoy your time here, however the festivities play out!" Her eyes wander up when the soldier floats down with his light, and she promptly hups up. Her dress puffs out like a parachute, her eyes glowing as she descends into the sleigh as gentle as a snowflake. But she doesn't sit down like a good sleigh rider. One foot on the sled's floor, she plants the other on the eat and grabs on to the backrest. The light flashes green, and she braces when Asterios leaps into motion, only jerking slightly where she stands. She shoots a look over her shoulder as skeletons in holiday lights and festive hats start their thing, but leaves managing this to Asterios. Instead, she reaches into the sleigh and pulls out a -- well, it's a rifle, and uses it to snag a giftbox by its ribbon as the duo passes a pile of them. One could mistake her haste for childish glee as she yanks the top off, and the pause as she tries to process what she's seeing inside. Multi-colored interlocking plastic blocks? She picks one up, examining its rigid surface and sharp Ages 7 And Up edges. After a moment, the tiny Major hauls up and hurls the box's entire contents over the side, right into the path of CU CHULAINN. Bracing herself, she shouts over her shoulder, "Asterios, incoming, rear-left!" ATTACK: Tanya drops BLOCKS in Cu Chulainn's path. Colorful plastic caltrops lie in wait.
Cu Chulainn	As they speed forward, Cu throttles the engine...and then bursts forward with speed when it hits green. The snowmobile dashes through the snow, as they move through the straightaway - where giant snowballs are being thrown! He moves to weave through them, a few hitting and impacting with him, but he can take even those, and dodge others. As he sees Jonathan scoop up a present, though, he reaches a long arm out... And scooops up a present. As he opens it, he gets - a ROCKET POWERED PINETREE. And now, the Lancer decides to attack. He could attack Jonathan while he's focused on Asterios...but he seems like a decent guy, and Asterios has a second rider on his car. Fuel is added to the fire when blocks are added in Cu's path, and he tries to stop his sleigh from hitting them, trying to speed around them. "Woah, woah!" ATTACK: Revving up the pinetree, Cu Chulainn points it at Asterios' carts. "Take this! ROCKET...TREE!" The tree bursts out in a blast of flames, and moves to try and slam straight into Asterios' cart!
Asterios	Who knew that you could use a candy cane as a javelin? Certainly not Asterios! Asterios knows candy canes only to be good for one thing and one thing only: Delicious pepperminty eating! And also maybe jousting. But at least the minotaur is on guard and ready as the Solstice White Overdrive tears through the air towards him! He swerves to avoid it at his master's warning, but not just that! It comes sailing past and digs itself into the snow in front of him, and Asterios... takes the time to tear it out of the ground to munch on!? What? He's pulling an armored sleigh through a snow-race. Dude's burning calories like nobody's business. It's perhaps only because of the partially eaten candycane that Asterios is able to deflect the Gae TannenBolg. The rocket-powered tree screams down the course, trailing plumes of brightly colored, pine-scented smoke! Did you know that pine trees are extremely flammable because of the oil in the wood!? Asterios dodges to one side as it races close, and almost gets caught up in the ensuing explosion-- Except then he smacks it out of the air and sends it hurtling back to sender. But even with all his defending, perhaps Asterios underestimated the raw speed of motor vehicles. The minotaur grunts in mildly disgruntled surprise as the other two racers pass him at either side, and is forced to redouble his efforts at sleigh-pulling! He's got Agility C, you can't get too angry with the guy! He charges forth to the next obstacle: A treacherous network of narrow snow-roads that wind between patches of slippery ice! If the racers aren't careful, they could end up spinning out of control! Asterios dips as he cuts around the first corner, grabbing a box out of the snow and punches a fist right through the top to find... A fistful of smoldering coal...!? WHAT A TERRIBLE PRESENT! Or so it seems at first. For Asterios knows that he has been blessed by this gift. Blessed by Santa, to deliver judgment upon the naughty! "Aa!" Asterios yells, hurling the projectile at the terrible Hound of Ulster himself! Will Cu'Chulainn end up becoming Coal'Chulainn!?
Tanya Degurechaff	As the sleigh jukes and shakes, Tanya actually does drop down into the seat, clinging to the side with one hand and holding her hat in place with the other. Eyes wide, she may actually fear for her life, for an alarming several seconds. When things steady out from the dodging and dealings of rockets and javelins, Tanya kicks the front wall of the sleigh just once before she re-takes her feet. "Watch the icy patches, and don't slow down to eat-- I'll give you all the magic you'll need for this!" She reaches with her rifle, snatching a new giftbox in passing. The lid is pulled, tossed, and she blinks at the contents. A familiar grin spreads across her face as she reaches in. Moments later, Tanya jumps from the sleigh to Asterios' shoulders, carrying a panzerfaust over her shoulder. Steadying herself with one hand on the Minotaur's horn, she sights JOJO, then squeezes the trigger. What first appears to be a rocket lurches from the barrel, but just as the onboard rocket engine kicks on, the entire thing unfurls into a christmas tree, ornaments and all. Tanya lowers the now-empty tube, staring at the projectile as it sails merrily forward. Huh. ATTACK: Tanya fires a ROCKET TREE at JOJO!
Jonathan Joestar	Jonathan is glad Asterios is enjoying his candy cane as he speeds along, hanging onto his steed for /deer/ life. Both Asterios and Tanya are subject to the clouds of snow the plows kick up, as he looks over his shoulder and views the terrible fate that befalls Cu Chulainn. While he didn't know the Irishman much at all beyond his legends, he just had the agreeable sort of prescence that Jonathan could respect. Not to mention, as an Englishman with Celtic lineage, he felt a degree of kinship with the spearman. "If he keeps up like that, he'll crash!" Exclaiming this aloud, Jonathan reaches down and scoopes up a present. Hoping for something useful to throw his .... ally ...? ...a bone, he instead finds himself on the unfortunate end of an explosion, thrown almost off of his mechanical horse. "Ah, no, Tusk, you have to slow down! I'll fall!" Unfortunately, as it wasn't a real horse, it didn't slow down. Defense: Jonathan is luckily thrown off of his horse by a present bomb just in time for the rocket powered projectile to sail over where he would have been seated moments ago! "How perilous! How tragic! What a terrible gift!"
Cu Chulainn	The Ulster Blue keeps moving...up until it slams into those bricks. While it's a fast snowmobile, and gets decently ahead, it skids out and almost crashes straight into a wall. Jonathan's concern is warranted! Up until Cu Chulainn summons his spear, and slams it against the wall, using the sheer force to push himself and his car back and away, narrowly avoiding the pinetree, before grabbing the wheel again. Dematerializing the spear afterwards, he scoops up...a piece of coal from a present! Right as Asterios goes to toss his own smoldering coal straight at Cu. DEFEND: Once again summoning Gae Bolg, Cu moves to try and smack the coal straight out of the air and keep on moving through the course. "Nice throw! Let's see how far you can get with just some coal, though!"
Asterios	"A-aa, sorry, master! Will focus on. Racing...!" Asterios grunts as he chucks the last of his candycane aside (RIP Candycane). He has to focus now. After all, his master's fate is literally on his shoulders! Meanwhile, the race is happening! In another time and place, Cu Chulainn was also defeated by bricks. ... But that is not here, and that is not now! It seems that, rather than serving as proper obstacles, the ice patches only serve to massively accelerate the racers! And... Not just that. Asterios picks up /too much/ speed and yells in surprise as he goes barreling right through part of the course...! And into an /entirely different/ section! The other two continue racing on by, having bypassed at least a couple of obstacles. What a terrible miscalculation! They really should have bug-tested this place better! Now everyone's getting to clip across the race course like they were in some kind of SPEED RUN or something! No matter! "Master, you... okay?" Asterios asks, racing to the next box. He grabs it and again takes hold of whatever might be waiting inside. This time, it's... A snowball...!?!? Where there was fire before, now there shall be ice! Asterios nods firmly and chucks it into the ground ahead of him. It... begins expanding as it rolls, growing larger and larger with each passing moment...! Asterios throws his weight behind it, pushing it forward like some kind of enormous snow katamari! His target this time... Is JoJo...! Well. 'Target.' Can you really say he's aiming? The poor guy can barely see in front of him! Meanwhile, the obstacle this time... Appear to be a whole bunch of snowmen! They all appear to be armed. And also possessed by strange labyrinth spirits. Several scream battlecries and lunge at the racers, before exploding in great big pops of red and green fireworks! Others simply take aim and begin firing bazookas filled with snowballs! But the finish line seems to be waiting not far up ahead. It won't be long now...! ATTACK: Asterios is rolling up the world, and JoJo happens to be in the way.
Tanya Degurechaff	Tanya loses her grip on her Servant's horn, falling back into the sleigh with a grunt. Quickly, she braces her feet on the front wall, holding her hat down as the sled and minotaur go on AN ADVENTURE that skips a portion of the track. Teeth bared, eyes intensely focused, she rides out the bumps and swaying of the journey until things even out. "I'm fine!" she calls out. Leaning over the side, she snatches up the candy cane as Asterios discards it. While she brings the candy spear up, her other hand..draws a pistol from underneath the hem of her dress. This is fired at the snowmen attacking from the sides while she waits for an opportunity. When she sights one, Tanya wheels around, planting her foot on the sleigh's front wall and rearing back with the candy cane lance. She lets out a shout, hurling the weapon at CU CHULAINN with all of her little girl strength. Her form is probably all kinds of terrible. Look, she's not even using her foot. ATTACK: Tanya targets Cu Chulainn with a Copyright-Free Thrown Candy Cane Lance Or Lance-Like Object.
Jonathan Joestar	Stuck on the side of his Tusk Go-Go, Jonathan manages to pull himself up despite the peril of ice-skidding acceleration, now with a brand new present! "Whew .... " It's .... a wreath? And tinsel ... well, he could figure something out, right? For now, the wreath became a festive decoration around his neck, prickly and uncomfortable. Until a shadow falls over his body. "Good God!" That snowball was giant! "If it gets much closer, I'll be run off the road!" Fireworks go off! He's been sandwiched between two obstacles?! With some rather quick thinking, Jojo places one hand against the neck of his mechanical horse, and holds the tinsel in the other. "Kooooooh ..... " "Okay, take this! While I'm pumping Tusk full of Sendo Power, I'll use the tinsel like a wire to give that snowball a dose of Hamon!" "METAL SILVER OVERDRIVE!" ATTACK:With a whipping motion, he attacked the snowball with his glowing tinsel, channeling the lightning-like sunlight directly into it to try and give Asterious a good zap! And maybe, if he were lucky enough, he'd be able to melt the snowball, too. At the same time, his horse has become coated in Hamon energy, ready to plow down the obstacles directly.
Cu Chulainn	This time, Cu Chulainn and the Ulster Blue get ahead...but as they race past the obstaces and basically speed run the course, Cu moves through the labyrinth. He watches Asterio make a giant snowball, and shouts out to Jonathan. "Look out!" But he doesn't move to help him attack. He can clinch this, especially as Tanya moves to attack him with the candy cane lance. The weapon comes flying at him, and with Gae Bolg still in hand... DEFEND: Cu Chulainn moves to swipe the candy cane out of the air by the hook, spin it around, and toss it at a snowman, while weaving in and out of bazooka fire! One snowball hits him in the face, nearly knocking him off the sled, so it's that guy he slings the candy cane at!
Asterios	In another place, at another time, in another generation, someone much like Jonathan Joestar (and yet, so very very different from Jonathan Joestar), strangles a horrible psychic tumor gnome with a hamon-infused whip. But! THIS TIME...! The hamon surges into Asterios' snowball. The minotaur looks briefly baffled as fissures of light begin spreading from the point of impact like cracks through a pane of glass. He makes a sound of surprise as...! !KABOOM! The whole thing explodes! An avalanche of snow pours out in all directions! Asterios jumps back, clutching his master to his chest as the snowpocalypse unfolds. A wave of frost carries the other two racers forward, right past another two or three obstacles, and right across... the goal!! But one of them is further than the other! The winner of this race, skidding to a complete stop atop a wave of ice is none other than the sunlight warrior himself, Jonathan Joestar!! "Aaa," Asterios says, somewhat sadly. But only just a bit. "Looks like. We lost. Master. But, I had fun, anyway...! Thank you for coming!" As for the prize... A particularly fancy box falls from the sky! It lands right at JoJo's feet. But what could ever be inside!?
Jonathan Joestar	Amd so, his trusty Tusk Go-Go is sent hurtling through obstacles like a shining steed, as Jonathan Joestar who isn't strangling a psychic tumor growing out of his arm manages to hold on tight for the whole rest of the ride. It's a heart pounding, thrilling, spectacular finale to the Great Race of The Reintaur's Maze. Unfortunately, the mechanical horse sputters smoke out of its nostrils, its innards having been pushed to the limit and ultimately burnt out by the Hamon that surged through its whole frame to strenghten it against the obstacles. It would not ride another day. Nostalgically, Jonathan pat the inanimate object's neck. "I'll never forget your hard work, Tusk .... hm?" What's this? A present! Ah, perhaps for winning the race. Reaching down to grasp it in his large hands, Jonathan smiles at the other competitors. "Thank you very much for racing with me. It was all good fun, yes? Let's see what the grand prize is..." And it's .......
Tanya Degurechaff	"--What--!?" is about all Tanya gets out before Asterios' snowball is foiled by Jonathan's Hamon skills. Already recoiling from hurling that spear, her eyes go wide when Asterios grabs at her, her hands going up to hold her hat in place while the pair go for an avalanche ride. Whatever becomes of the sleigh, she cares not. She seems to care mostly about her outfit and her headwear-- which really is just her trying to protect her head with her hands, but it's easy enough to misread. Once things settle down, she beholds the finish line and the man who crossed it-- actually, both men who crossed it before herself or her Servant. A wry smile crosses her face. Well. There's no pride lost. It's just a game, isn't it? All that's left is to lose gracefully. Tanya's expression neutralizes briefly. Yes, that should fulfill the necessary criteria. In another second, she's forced on that wide smile again. Hands lower from her hat, and she claps energetically, "Bravo! What great fun, and congratulations!"
Asterios	It's... It's...! ---------------------------------- A long time ago, a monster was given a name. The one, sole thing that he could call his own in all the world. A name. The most important thing in his world. It was a good name. A great name. The name of a king, given by a king. He was named Asterios. The Starry One. ---------------------------------- It's something light, something bright, something... starry. No, it /is/ a star. A big, golden, star-shaped prize that gives off a gentle, inner light. As JoJo claims his prize, he feels something in the floor change. A great big stairway rises out of the snow, leading to the next level...! "Con...gratulations!" Asterios says, coming up to the starting line with a smile. "I hope. You all had fun! Before. You go! We also have. Tasty holiday treats. If you both want to join us! There is cocoa!" Are you so cruel as to turn down an invitation from such a fluffy boy!?!?
Jonathan Joestar	Jonathan holds his prize up in both hands. It's warm and shines like a sun itself. It brings a Jonathan's polite smile into something more personal. The next floor is open, but in times like this, perhaps it's better to spend time with the people around you. This year, all he'd been able to do was send out letter and candies to everyone he could think of, a season's greetings. Next year, perhaps he could go for something more touching. "I'd love to join you."