Scene #7555: Pre-Pre-Pre-Emptive Strike

Owner	Pose
Hesinca	https://youtu.be/_YyFM3hkIn4 "Shit! The cops!" One bank. Four clowns. Half a dozen civilian hostages. A simply comical amount of incoming police officers, SWAT units, special forces, snipers, and other anti-ne'er-do-wells. And one overly stubborn vault door. "Shit! The thermal drill's broke! Someone fix it!" "Hoxton's down!" "Hi, I'm John Wick." "Shields!" BLAM BLAM BLAM "Got the shields!" "Someone fix this piece of shit drill!" There's more gunfire and chaos, building to a fever pitch- -and then abruptly it all ends. The cops disappear. The civilians disappear. The bank itself disappears, vault and all, leaving only the clowns. "Okay, you lot!" calls Hesinca, stepping out onto the empty virtual landscape. "Clear out! I need this space!" "Okay - no, we booked this sim for our heist drill, you can't just bump us," says Dallas, the lead clown. "Hah, drill," says Hoxton, who hasn't bothered to get up from his fake injuries. "Like the drill that keeps breaking." "Hi, I'm John Wick," says John Wick. "Yeah - you heard Wick, piss off, horsey," says Wolf. "Don't care - my sim now, and I'm using it to launch the most pre-emptive of pre-emptive attacks - the before-it-even-opens-first-blood-initial-skirmish-ambush-alpha-strike of the Next Summer War!" yells Hesinca, as prinnies stream out into the sim all around her. At a loss, the clowns head off to the sidelines of the sim for right now. "And since I'm uncontested - I'm going to win, of course!" says Hesinca, triumphantly. "I wager all of my territory and get it all back QUADRUPLE! There haven't been any rules declared yet so it's not cheating, either!"
Nobunaga	Touring the event and simulator plaza is a fun thing sometimes, sometimes things even inspire new tactics. More likely they're just fun to watch when soldiers and heroes and warriors go completely ham on one another. A certain height-challenged warlord takes in a pair of martial artists doing just that, munching on colored dango balls on a bamboo skewer. Three more are held between the knuckles of her other hand, at the ready, while Oda Nobunaga cheers. She's not cheering for any fighter in particular; that was just a pretty awesome fireball uppercut thing. Commotion draws her attention, and she quickly recognizes the horde of prinnies filing into one of the simulators. Reluctantly, Nobunaga breaks away from the fight she's watching and meanders into that specific unit to investigate. Her arrival is well timed, overhearing the clown-mask gang muttering about horses and -- Summer War. Nobunaga tips her head forward just a bit with a laugh, eyes hidden behind the brim of her modern style cap. Circling well clear of the gathering prinnies, she speaks up with a somewhat raised voice over all the noisy penguin demons, "I hadn't even announced what kinda event I was gonna host this year. Can't help but admire your enthusiasm." Head lifting, she scratches at one of her cheeks, eyes rolled upward in thought, "I was thinkin' something a bit more straightforward this time, though." In goes a dango. Munch.
Karlan Nobles	Pramanix has known about strange simulator technology for a while now. She's heard about it, anyway, and its use in tournaments in past years. About how some people use them to train, to see and feel things they normally wouldn't, to prepare for worst case scenarios or just let loose without having to worry about collateral damage. It'd be the perfect place to see what would happen if she decided to just watch a heist go on in person and be a bystander instead of stopping it with excessive amounts of snow and ice. Unfortunately for her, today's viewing comes to a screeching halt when a centaur demon starts yelling some kind of war. Pramanix: "Is this part of the...?" SilverAsh: "No, I don't think so. This may be the start of another show." Pramanix: "Oh! Well, a little change up now and then can't hurt. It should at least be better than the one with the lasers." SilverAsh: "You didn't enjoy that one? I thought their techniques were... Innovative. Just not good." With Nobunaga laughing and Hesinca announcing her victory already, Pramanix tosses an empty bag of popcorn into a nearby trash bin before clapping her hands together with a nice, loud pop. "'Summer War'? Is this some kind of summer-themed show, then? Oh, this should be fun to see~ But what kinds of games would be involved?"
Hesinca	"Well, whatever kind of event it is, I'm going into it with a 4x advantage!" declares Hesinca as more prinnies stream into the sim. "... Um, Mistress Hesinca," says one of the prinnies, tugging at a fetlock. "What is it we're supposed to be doing here?" "Attacking! Winning!" "Attacking... what?" says the Inquisitive Prinny. "The only thing here is you, the scary lady, and the clowns. And the clowns are - yes, they're busy playing arts and crafts with their masks, it looks like," says the prinny. "Hah, look, I got a bitchin' tye-dye pattern in the last heist!" declares Wolf, off on the sidelines. "Last thing a pig's gonna see is Jerry Garcia cold starin' him down!" "FIgure it out," snaps Hesinca, before returning her attention to Nobunaga. "Alright, then, whatever, something straightforward, shouldn't be too hard for you to start it, then," says the demon, crossing her arms. "I'm the disputed flawless victor of the last one, so I'll win this one with flying colors."
Nobunaga	Eyes closing, Nobunaga cants her head towards Pramanix's inquiry, "It's a battle event I hosted last year. Simulated territory conquest, team-oriented. Lots of fun, sun, and swimsuits." Head tilting now towards Hesinca, she opens one eye, "Everyone starts on the ground floor." Lifting her dango skewers, she points, "Especially since the rules aren't even the same, what advantage would second place even confer?!" She eats the last dango on her initial skewer, then tucks the bamboo spike between her teeth to chew on it while pacing slowly in a circle, "Putting me on the spot like this, sheesh. It's not like I can just knock out a properly planned event in an instant. Not a good one. I mean," Tilting her head up, she taps her chin, "A tiered battle farm festival without a unique map mechanic would be easiest, I guess. How do you feel about point ladders and craft essences?" Beat "Hold on a second!" Pausing, Nobunaga twirls and points directly at the centauroid demon, "Why am I taking orders from you, anyway?!"
Karlan Nobles	There's penguins. Weird little penguins that look vaguely like dolls? As if on cue, Pramanix squats in place to get a better look at the prinnies, fawning over them like someone who's never seen an animated doll thing before. Not even on TV! "Oh my! What curious little... You! Are you part of the show, too, friends?" She even reaches out to poke and prod at any of them that get close enough for her to reach. She does pause briefly, however, to look back over at Hesinca. "Wait... I'm not interrupting the show, am I?" "You only noticed that now? But I imagine they'd be prepared for such a situation if they're doing this so close to the audience." SilverAsh speaks up, eyeing his shirt collar briefly and flicking off a popcorn kernel before turning towards Hesinca and Nobunaga again with a hand on his chin. "But for contest to be interesting.. It should certainly be something that allows anyone involved to showcase their strongest-" "Swimsuits?" Pramanix manages to tear her eyes off the prinnies. "Aren't those meant for.. Oh, yes, there are warmer settings in here, aren't there? We never got to see those back home!" She's getting excited again, and her gaze keeps shifting between Nobunaga and Hesinca. "But I heard you aren't supposed to swim for a while after eating. And... How do you even put one on with so many legs?"
Hesinca	The prinnies respond to Pramanix's poking with patience. "We're part of every show, dood," says the Poked Prinny. There also appears to be an actual penguin mixed in with the penguin things. It says "Empoleon" every now and again. Nobody acts as if this is unusual. "I put my swimsuit on like - hey, that's not important right now," says Hesinca. "Okay, so. You have a point," she says to Nobunaga, nodding. "Why should you listen to me? There isn't really any reason." She nods, and then focuses hard on her, her aura rapidly rising to a peak. "Start the Summer War," she yells at Nobunaga, putting her Demonic Authority behind the order.
Nobunaga	The Servant closes her eyes again, arms folding, fingertips tapping on one bicep, "This isn't a planned show, lady. Not yet, anyway. We're not performing a bit, here." Hesinca shouts a command, which prompts Nobunaga to reach up, picking in one ear with her pinkie finger while one scarlet eye opens, "Well aren't you pushy? Used to getting your way, huh?" Arms spreading, a flame erupts in front of the warlord. From this pyre pillar rises a most unusual guitar, its body surrounded by a ring of spikes. Snatching this, Nobunaga twirls it once, then drops it down across her shoulders. The flames expand, consuming her within them for just a moment. When the fire disperses, Nobunaga's outfit has changed; a black bikini with a flame motif. Across her shoulders a heavy black jacket rests, its sleeves hanging empty. The bamboo skewer shifts to the other side of her mouth, while she reaches up and tugs her cap to rest askew. "Well, I don't feel like doing another Summer War. So you should probably drop that expectation right now." Her lips spread in a wide grin, scarlet eyes shining, "What I'm feeling like is more like some sort of..." SENGOKU BANCHO GUDAGUDA BEACH RUMBLE As soon as the title is declared, the equalizers on her guitar flash to life, as the instrument unleashes a sick guitar riff by way of introduction.
Karlan Nobles	Pramanix: "I haven't seen you in any of my shows, though." SilverAsh: "I don't believe the sorts of programs you watch would appreciate their more... Unique appearances." After shooting her brother a brief glare, Pramanix turns her attention back to the pair. Notably, she's circling around Hesinca and Nobunaga, both to see where they're going with the not-a-planned-show, and also to... Definitely not because she's still trying to figure out the swimsuit on a centaur thing. She jumps back with a startled noise and pulls her tail back to her side as the fires appear, signifying the appearance of a sick guitar that has her eyes widening in awe. Pramanix: "That's the sound I was looking for! Ah, it's so... Majestic!" SilverAsh: "It does have quite the energetic ring to it... I can even feel it moving through my heart." Pramanix: "A music battle, then...? Ah, will either of you need a dance to go with it, then?"
Hesinca	"Sengoku... bancho? Gudaguda?" Hesinca tilts her head, watching the remaining pyrotechnics go off. "... Whatever! I'm still going to win it! Pre-emptive alpha strike! Prinnies, assemble!" They form ranks behind her. "First, we'll- what the heaven are you wearing." "It's a beach rumble, dood, you gotta have hulas!" says the lead prinny. "Maybe, but those are hula HOOPS, you idiots," says Hesinca. "Whatever!" "... So what do we do?"
Nobunaga	"It's not a music show!" Nobunaga objects, "This is just how my Summer form came out; don't worry about it! Beachwear is always encouraged in GUDAGUDA summer events. You're fighting in the sun, after all." Raising her free hand, she points at Pramanix first, then her elder(?) brother, "You two can attend if you want, but all that wintery clothing would be super uncomfortable on the beaches we'd be hosting on, yeah?" She doesn't directly address the comments about her rockin' tunes, but when her attention shifts to Hesinca and her army of prinnies, the warlord still for some reason shifts the guitar down from her shoulders and just starts casually shredding on it. A thrumming stream of low notes in a rhythm that mirrors her attempts at remaining subdued. "You can't win the game before the game's begun. That's how war works, but not a contest. It's a Bancho Rumble, so mooks stay in the background to have their fun. It's one on one and repeated fights to prove you're the best." Is that on purpose? "No teams this time, but calm your hoofs! I still gotta come up with scoring and loot!"
Karlan Nobles	Pramanix: "Hulas?" SilverAsh: "Hoops?" Pramanix: "How do you use those?" SilverAsh: "Perhaps the same way one would use a Bancho." Truly, the two cat people have no idea what they're looking at. First, it was just clowns in a heist sim. Next, there was a centaur demon yelling things at a person eating snacks. Now, they're being distracted from the snacker-turned-bikini-rocker by the penguins with weird circles around them. Briefly, anyway, until Nobunaga mentions a 'Summer form'. "Do you mean to say that you can transform like a..." SilverAsh starts, trailing off while trying to find the words and slipping his coat off. Already, it's easy to tell that he's got the tall, long hot guy bod, but he's keeping it under wraps with the sleeves buttoned up and a whole ass tie on. "... Like a robot? One that can shoot out a smaller, inside compartment?" Pramanix follows that up, finally remembering to take her hat off. "Perhaps a Summer form of my own wouldn't hurt, although... Well, there were some stores advertising clothes that would show off whatever a 'summer booty' is. Is that the same thing? Does that include more loot?" Silverash perks up just a bit at the mention of loot. "Will it be buried ahead of time?"
Hesinca	"I think Stun Zoo would disagree about winning wars before they begun, but whatever," says Hesinca. Meanwhile, the prinnies, realizing that battle isn't actually going to break out, start messing around with the hula hoops and the masks and any leftover pyrotechnics. "So no teams, no minions? Just one on ones? And a beach theme. Okay." She glances over at Silverash. "I hope so. They say that pirate captains kill their crew once the treasure is buried, so that only they know about it. That'd be fun to see in person."
Nobunaga	"Nah, nah," Nobunaga shakes her head, "Fights get points and currency, see. If I'm gonna do a point ladder there's gotta be rewards, or it's not a ladder, right?" She ceases playing, flipping the guitar back up to rest across her shoulders, "I do my Events in a very particular way! Even if there's no real way to use craft essence to make it easier anymore! I just gotta tune it properly around the new paradigm, is all!" Twisting a bit, Nobunaga gestures at Pramanix, "Summer booty is your booty. Those swimsuits are more for folks who wanna show off than folks going for a swim." Her hand lifts, fingers snapping into a finger-gun gesture at Silverash, "Like this guy's got a great beach bod, by the looks of it. Couldn't tell under the jacket." Frankly she can't tell anything about Pramanix either due to the layers of her usual outfit. "Anyway yeah I'm thinkin' something easy this time. Give me a week or so to sort out the details and get it set up and we'll have ourselves a good ol' rumble. Not quite a tournament; more like a brawl! Like a proper bancho!"
Karlan Nobles	SilverAsh: "I have no interest in slaying my subordinates, although finding long lost treasure would be a nice diversion even with that context." Pramanix: "I don't know about digging around in the dirt, but lounging by the water sounds relaxing!" As Nobunaga teaches Pramanix the ways of the summer wear, she looks over at SilverAsh with a moderately pained grimace. "Really? But he's..." She scrunches up her face for a while longer, then sighs and shakes her head. "Okay, I might not be a fair judge on that. I'll leave that to you." In comparison to SilverAsh, Pramanix definitely doesn't have the super tallness going for her. It really is kind of hard to tell how she'd look with her keeping all that blue and black stuff on. She's still wearing her gloves, even! "But if it involves mostly fighting..." Pramanix starts while SilverAsh nods slowly, the latter apparently predicting that much already. "That could also be a fun way to pass the time. It's been a while since that work in the city, too." SilverAsh keeps nodding, stops, then gives Pramanix a dumbfounded stare. She's doing a pretty bad job of hiding a shit-eating grin at that reaction. "But what's a.. Bancho? Is that the title for the fight ladder winner?"
Hesinca	"A bancho is..." Hesinca starts to say, but then trails off. "A tough guy," she decides. "So, me." "Here you are, here you go, dood," says a prinny, going around to everyone and passing out prinny masks in a random variety of colors. Hesinca ignores this. "Look, though, if loot and prizes and stuff is one of the things holding you up - I ain't in this to win prizes. I'm just in it to win. I'll come up with some stuff," she says. "Good stuff."
Nobunaga	"Not wrong!" Nobunaga nods once to Hesinca, "A tough guy, a delinquent. Those students who hang out around schools after hours breaking the rules and loitering and getting into fights." With a shrug, she adds, "But at the beach this time." With a shrug, she shakes her head a few times, "You made me come up with it on the spot, I told you I had to think it over some. I don't even have rules yet, so your four-footed butt will have to wait until I'm ready and there's contestants registered." Her free hand props on her hip, "Can't have a brawl with one person!"
Karlan Nobles	By virtue of being siblings, Pramanix snags a classic blue mask and SilerAsh gets a mom's red mask! Pramanix is eager to put it on right away, but her brother does that side-of-the-head thing with his. Pramanix: "I could play a delinquent." SilverAsh: "I'm afraid you're even less of a delinquent than I am." Pramanix: "I could! I'd just need to... Focus more on the beach aspect of that." SilverAsh: "Nor have we ever been on a real beach." After shooting SilverAsh some dirty looks, Pramanix plants her hands on her hips with a confident, chest-puffing chuckle (which finally hints that she might even have some chest under all that coat). It's definitely nowhere near a boisterous bancho laugh, but closer to an mild-mannered class rep laugh. "Take whatever time you need for these rules. I'll be throwing my hat into the ring, so I'll make sure to keep things interesting."
Hesinca	"Oh, you mean an honor student, not a delinquent," says Hesinca. "You have it backwards. Delinquents attend every extracirricular and do their homework and obey curfew, it's honor students that do all those things you said. I'm surprised you got those mixed up..." "... But fine. Okay. Can't have a brawl with only one person." She glances over at Pramanix and Silverash, expectantly. "Okay, there, now we have two - which, bless, not enough for a brawl, bless it." "Gonna have to go 'convince some people..." "Nobody's even advertised it, dood," says a prinny wearing a SilverAsh mask. "Don't be so impatient, dood." "I don't have the patience for not being impatient!" protests Hesinca, stomping her hoof.
Nobunaga	Nobunaga flicks her hand dismissively, "Sure, by demon standards. You're talking to humans, though." Her eyes slide sideways towards the snow leopard siblings, "...And Human-adjacent, I guess." Lifting her guitar, she dismisses the weapon in a burst of flames and accompanying guitar riff, "Start time is in a week! I'll get things set up, make sure you register once I get it open so I don't forget!" Snapping her fingers, she points at Hesinca, "Because you know I will if I don't get it in writing!" Raising that hand once more, the warlord turns about, her coat billowing behind her like a cape, "You'll get your fill of battle, don't worry about that! Once the patching is done, feel free to go nuts. Until then, all of you are welcome to prepare by getting your best getup together. Please look forward to it!"
Karlan Nobles	Pramanix: "That doesn't sound like a delinquent." SilverAsh: "It most certainly doesn't sound like an honor student." Pramanix: "But maybe things are different in her society." Their ears flick at the mention of human-adjacent-ness, of course. "New clothes and a chance to stretch our legs... Ah, this summer should be quite interesting!" With the general idea of the brawl set, Pramanix looks and sounds rather eager about the whole thing. "It's a shame digging for treasure isn't on the menu. That would be far more relaxing, I'd wager..." SilverAsh, meanwhile, already sounds exhausted. He's still standing tall, of course, but he seems far less enthused about the whole thing. "But I suppose it could be a good opportunity as well." For what, he doesn't elaborate. He might just enjoy being '''mysterious'''.
Hesinca	"I'll do you one better than that!" says Hesinca. "Registration Prinny, front and center!" One of the hula-hooping prinnies steps out of the crowd. Written on its front, in big paint-stenciled letters: I R E G I S T E R - H E S I N C A "There, this one's gonna stick to you like a priest sticks to a choir boy," says Hesinca. "Really inappropriate, dood," says Registration Prinny.