Scene #1780: A DINOSAUR ATTACKS A MUSEUM, AVRIL LAVIGNE WOULD CALL IT IRONIC. I CALL IT MURDER.

Owner	Pose
Dr. Dinosaur	IT IS A WONDERFUL DAY IN THE PEWTER CITY MUSEUM. The sun is bright. The earth continues to spin. People and their pokemon examine glass cases with artifact of ancient pokemon within them. They marvel at the wonders of modern science and buy little knick knacks like ants trapped in amber. It is placid and peaceful. It would be a shame if someone... messed it up. The skylight opens up. Saurian majesty slides down a cable, wearing a gun harness, aviator sunglasses, a cooler, and what might be a speak and spell on his back. "ATTENTION MAMMALS." Everyone turns slightly. There are whispers, "Is that a pokemon?" "NO! I am not one of your foolish pokemon. Nobody move!" Guards burst forward with their own pokemon, throwing balls to the floor that burst out into Growlithes. Dr. Dinosaur points a finger, "I will fight you on your own ground!" He produces one of the small pokeballs, letting it grow to full size before flicking it forward. An Oddish appears. It blinks up at the Growlithes. The guards chuckle. Dr. Dinosaur points a hand, "PLANT THING! Do your DISTRACT THEM FROM BULLETS MOVE." He produces two submachine guns from his harness and opens fire.
Emiya Shirou	Warp gates are separated by huge distances sometimes! It just so happened that for Shirou today... the way back home to Dun Realtai involved a detour from Viridian City to Pewter City. That was one heck of a bike ride, and it's left him taking five minutes on a bench to catch his breath and enjoy the air. In that five minutes, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! "WHAT IN THE--" Upon hearing hearing gunfire and yelling and police hurrying to the scene, Shirou bursts through one of the doors himself - and IMMEDIATELY hits the deck into a fantastic reflexive roll to avoid the gunfire. He ends up behind a display for cover, peering out bewilderedly at the scene... "...A Dinosaur... with guns?!" Among other things.
Seto Kaiba	It's only luck that Kaiba was in the area, at all. He promised Mokuba that he would take him to a museum. And, while Kaiba is not one that focuses on things of the past, even he knows that it is good to get Mokuba out to see these things on occasion. And, by picking a museum off of his own world, it will give him a chance to learn more of Multiversal culture, so he can later abuse it for his own ends. As the submachine gun fire starts up, Kaiba just stares. He, really, has absolutely no idea what he is looking at. A velociraptor, firing machine guns. This? It's one of the first times something in the Multiverse has made him have a headache for simply being too /stupid/. And so, with a sigh, he turns to Mokuba. "Make sure the civilians clear out. I'll deal with this... thing." It's not that Kaiba wants the civilians to live, or that he even cares about them. No, he simply cares abou the public relations bonus he can get from saving a museum from a dangerous dinosaur with guns. And, as that thought passes his head, he feels the headache coming on again. He comes out of his cover, his Duel Disk at the ready. His cards drawn, and in his hand. He is about to tell the dinosaur his days are numbered. And then he hears Shirou speak up. What the hell is he doing here? ...Whatever. Kaiba just gives a glare in the direction Shirou is hiding. A glare as if to say 'Stay the hell out of my way.' And then, he places a card, in face down Defense position. A holographic image of a trading card appears in front of him. He knows, the moment he is attacked, the card will take form, even as the bullets appear. And, so, he just glares at Dr. Dinosaur, now. "...Get the hell out of here, before I force you out." Kaiba isn't really happy. Which is usual. The fact that Mokuba is around makes him a bit annoyed.
Dr. Dinosaur	Doctor Dinosaur understands pokemon as a threat. He fires bullets into them first. One of the Growlithes FAINTS in a puddle of blood. His Oddish doesn't fare much better. Doctor Dinosaur is an asshole. People start streaming out of the Museum past Kaiba, recognizing either that Kaiba is someone who can deal with it or he is stupid enough to soak bullets for everyone else. Thankfully, it's a Museum, so there aren't a ton of people in it to begin with. Blame public education. The dinosaur turns his head towards Kaiba, seeing the big card. He narrows his eyes, considering briefly. "WHY don't you play a CIVILIZED children's card game. Like Super Volcano. I VERY MUCH ENJOYED SUPER VOLCANO WHEN I WAS A SMALL HATCHLING." Pause "Small." Pause "And young." "I AM SAYING YOU ARE A SQUAWLING HUMAN MAGGOT!" He brings both SMGs up at Kaiba and opens fire with a spray of bullets.
Seto Kaiba	As the bullets fly forward, the card flips. The bullets are halted in their path, by an oversized magical lamp. The bullets leave obvious dents in it, but for now, Kaiba isn't worried. Kaiba smiles at the dinosaur. "I don't know what sort of archaic game Super Volcano is. But. Trust me. I'm not going to treat this like a /game/." He says, as he is fighting using a card game. "But. MY TURN!" He draws a card. The look on his eyes alone betrays him, hiding his normal Poker Face by obviously being eyes of joy. If a dinosaur can even tell that. "With the special ability of my Ancient Lamp, I can Special Summon... LA JINN, THE MYSTICAL GENIE OF THE LAMP! And, then, I tribute both the lamp, and the genie, to summon forth..." Kaiba holds up a card, before slamming it down. The green genie that formed vanishes, along with the lamp. And, in its place? The Blue-Eyes White Dragon appears. Kaiba also places a couple of cards face down. And then smiles. "So. Tell me. You're a small little dinosaur. This is a big, giant dragon. Do the math. What'll happen if you attack it?" He glances over to Shirou. He's actually waiting for Shirou to leave, preferably. But, he knows Shirou is going to leap in and fight instead. Because it's Shirou. Which is why, despite Kaiba not being a team player, he is waiting a bit. Give Shirou a chance to leap in first. And possibly get himself killed.
Emiya Shirou	"This seems to happen everywhere I go." Shirou mutters under his breath. Although this is the first time Kaiba's shown up to a crisis like this! The redhead hisses sharply when the Pokemon topple... but he'll hope the police can evacuate them through all of that! "Trace... on." The glare, of course, while received... is ignored. The others will see a flash of light much like a camera going off - just with a weird green tint. And in the next few moments.. Shirou gets up and walks out. he's on Dr. Dinosaur's right, as opposed to Kaiba's face-on approach! "What's your problem!? Even thieves could have the decency to not hurt people for the hell of it!" He's mad. In fact, he's fuming. If his teeth were clenched any tighter they might crack. That might be why he's clutching a pair of rather short curved swords bearing a yin-yang motif - one is white, the other black with a red hexagonal pattern. But his eyes are on the evacuees...
Dr. Dinosaur	"It was a highly complex collectible card game BUT I WOULDN'T EXPECT your puny mammal brain to comprehend the dynamics of such a game." Doctor Dinosaur pulls his SMG towards Emiya, firing off a set of shots to keep the swordsman back. Evacuation is easy enough. Doctor Dinosaur doesn't seem to be targetting them specifically. He seems to be contemplating Kaiba's boast. That is a large creature. He lets go of one gun. It snaps back to his harness. Claw now freed, he reaches back up to the cooler on his back. With a whip, he snaps it open and flings it up and out. Hundreds of tiny pokeballs start careening across the room, making a layer across the floor. "Perhaps we will play a human card game. GO FISH." Six hundred huge flopping Magikarp start bursting out of the pokeballs.
Seto Kaiba	As the Pokeballs go open? Kaiba braces. Kaiba is, generally, prepared for a large number of things. A large number of strategies. But, even as an experienced gamer, who has witnessed every possible strategy? This. This is /not/ something he ever considered happening. The Magikarp are not strong. But, their weight alone, and the density of them in this room, is enough to keep Kaiba and his Blue-Eyes from moving. Tons of jumping fish, all over the place. It's all Kaiba can do to pull his next card, and make his next move. He flips a card, and two 'Photon Tokens' pop in. And then he tributes them, summoning the next card he pulled: a second Blue-Eyes White Dragon. It appears. Floating in the air. Because this is a museum, there is /barely/ enough room for a Blue-Eyes White Dragon to stand tall. But with all of the fish on the ground, this one has to press itself up against the ceiling, completely flat as possible, to avoid being hit by any of the fish. Kaiba begins to shout, "BLUE EYES! ATTA--" But then, he hears a sound. A creaking sound. With all of the fish surrounding him, slamming into the floor over and over? The floor is giving way. It cracks, and Kaiba falls through. Luckily, he still manages to land upright, but he doesn't have a chance to finish ordering his attack. "GOD DAMNIT." This is an incredibly rare level of rage for Kaiba to be feeling.
Emiya Shirou	The more Shirou listens the stupider this sounds. But just as he's starting to frown - GUNFIRE! WHOAH! Faster than the eye can see Kanshou and Bakuya are brought up to shield him. They rapidly smack away bullets as if moving all by themselves and wrenching his arms about on a wild ride! Either way he's bowled over and tumbles to the side behind cover. If Kaiba was going to take the lead and people were evacuating just fine, then yeah... maybe he should just head out? Just then... There's the sound of SIX HUNDRED POKEBALLS OPENING. Shirou's eyes go wide. He hazards a glance around the corner and-- And is BOWLED OVER BY DOZENS OF MAGIKARP splashing about EVERYWHERE. "UWAGH!"
Dr. Dinosaur	Doctor Dinosaur lets out a gleeful cackle as the Magikarp begin spewing forth like a massive wave. A quick 'WRK' escapes him as he ducks pinging bullets from Shirou's swords. The Magikarp push out like a grand tidal wave of flopping mass that Doctor Dinosaur has to scramble away from quickly towards his prize. A set of fossils. Next to him, a leftover cup of water shakes. He turns towards it, watching it cautiously. The water within ripples again. Then the ground underneath him gives way. The floor of the musuem topples downward, buckling into the basement storage room, breaking dozens of exhibits out for cataloguing and repair. It's expensive but no one will really care because it's a museum. Doctor Dinosaur lifts his claw from one eye, peering up and down and back and forth. He is dangling from his cable above the flopping mass of Magikarp and PROTAGONISTS and DRAGONS. "HAHAH! Just as I planned with my superior knowledge of physics and NO ONE CAN PROVE OTHERWISE." He starts pumping his legs, swinging slowly towards the other side of the room and the fallen fossil exhibit.
Seto Kaiba	As Kaiba rights himself, he loosk up, seeing Dr. Dinosaur hanging from the cord. Kaiba is still dealing with the mass of Magikarp around him, but with the floor fallen out, he can see the two Blue-Eyes White Dragon now have some room to hover, without having to worry about fish. Kaiba pulls his next card, careful of the fish. It's... not something useful /yet/, so he doesn't play it. Instead, he activates one of the cards he set face down earlier. "SWORDS OF REVEALING LIGHT!" Flipping it, a number of swords made of light appear around Dr. Dinosaur, trying to limit his field of movement. And then, Kaiba shouts out. "BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGON! ATTACK!" And the two Blue-Eyes White Dragons open their mouths, sending forth hot beams of plasma towards Dr. Dinosaur. And anything in their way. And Kaiba just glares. This is probably the angriest he has ever been.
Emiya Shirou	Shirou grunts, groans, and hurls a few magikarp off of him... only to find himself face to face with... ANOTHER MAGIKARP! "UWAGH!" Another frenzied flailing to pull himself free of the fish... and he's knee-deep in them atop a pile of rubble. Up just in time to DUCK before the Dragon's start opening up! "... This isn't going to get anywhere... I'll just get out!" And out he tries to go. Everyone is already OUT, after all. There's nobody left to protect!
Dr. Dinosaur	Any chance of this being dignified has been squashed. Doctor Dinosaur works steadily, pumping his legs back and forth in a steady rhythm to move him towards the corner of the museum. SUDDENLY SWORDS. "Hah, you think I am intimidated by your STRANGLE BATTLEFIELD EFFECTS!" He pulls out his submachine guns again, spinning around slightly in the cable. Now he is spinning and swinging in a slow circle. It is very undignified. Both guns come up, firing a circle of bullets just as both streams of HOT DRAGON FIRE DEATH come streaming out at him. He scrambles and claws at the air, evading both blasts in favor of taking one FULL IN THE FACE. It rips away the cable from the skylight and sends him crashing into the opposite wall. He lands on the ground with a sizzle. MEANWHILE. Shirou has to take the stairs since everyone is in the basement. The stairs are not full of Magikarp, but they are kind of flopping there, up and down, bumping up against him occassionally. They are still slightly moist. BACK TO DOCTOR DINOSAUR. He groans as he stands up, rapidly rifling through the fossils. He points a claw at Kaiba. "I ACCUSE YOU OF CHEATING. I demand proof you are legitimate!" Rifleriflerifle.
Seto Kaiba	Kaiba is, unfortunately, in a position where he is not terribly well defended. His Blue-Eyes are floating in the air as they finish their attack. The gunfire comes in, and there is little Kaiba can do to stop it. For the /first time/, he is actually struck full on by an attack, himself. He is lucky enough to at least move out of the way a bit, moving behind a filing cabinet. But, his shoulers and legs are still struck, and one bullet even has him in the stomach. And, he is a /normal human/. Sure, an Auric one, but. This is a /lot/ worse for him than it would be for another person. It's all he can do to pull his next card. He frowns. It's not... /ideal/. He was hoping for the third Blue-Eyes, so he could activate one of his other face down cards. But, he sighs. For now, this will at least give him some defense. "I play Polymerize, to combine two monsters in my hand! The BATTLE OX AND THE MYSTIC HORSEMAN, TO CREATE THE RABID HORSEMAN!" It forms on the other side of the filing cabinet, between Kaiba and Dr. Dinosaur. It is a rather /large/ centaur, weilding an axe. But, instead of a human upper body, it has the upper body of a minotaur. And, it rushes in to try and cut at Dr. Dinosaur, while the two Blue-Eyes move into place.
Emiya Shirou	RABID HORSEMAN? That's just more inspiration for Shirou to get the heck out of here! Up he goes, dashing up the stairs and scooting Magikarp carefully out of the way. SOMEONE's gotta go tell the police or there's going to be a LOT of dead Pokemon! That's when he trips on a Magikarp and goes crashing back down the stairs in a loud, clumsy, PAINFULLY YELLY FASHION!
Dr. Dinosaur	Doctor Dinosaur, fortunately, is a dinosaur. He is still weak to being flash fried into a crispy but still delicious morsel. His CLEVER FOOLPROOF PLAN didn't seem to work. No matter. He pulls up a certain fossil as Kaiba goes on shouting and moving cards around, grinning his wide repitilian grin. "AH-HAH! IT IS MINE!" He lifts a fossil up high over his head in a Link-Like fashion before cramming it down into a container. "VICTORY IS M-" This wonderful pronouncement is cut off as he is slammed into the basement wall by STINKING MAMMAL AND HORSE FLESH. He snakes his head out of the way of an axe blow. Both legs come up, using the powerful appendages to hurl the centaur down and away from his body. "Back foul POORLY CONCIEVED GAME MECHANI-" He turns his head up slightly just as two more twin beams of fire engulf him. The entire corner of the basement goes up in fire and rubble, burying Doctor Dinosaur.
Seto Kaiba	Kaiba just stares, as the rubble falls on Dr. Dinosaur. This? ...He considers this more than good enough for him. And, watching Shirou stumble, he sighs. Standing up, he grabs at his stomach wound a bit, covering it so he doesn't bleed out. Luckily he didn't get any blood on his cards. But, with Shirou at the bottom of the stairs, he calls over his Blue-Eyes. He is /tired/ of dealing with /all of these fish/. "BLUE EYEs. ATTACK." He points, up the staircase, as the Blue-Eyes White Dragon (just one of them) sends a burst of breath up the stairway, to knock out any Magikarp in the way. Kaiba then starts walking up the stairs, leaving a bloody path on the way out. "Stupid. Dinosaur."
Dr. Dinosaur	The Magikarp take excessive fire damage and FAINT. They FAINT into charred masses. If Kaiba were six, his parents would tell him they are talking them to a pokecenter to get all better! But he isn't. And he doesn't care anyways. At least everyone is alive. Sure, a lot of pokemon died, and the guards are wounded, but everyone is alive. And that's important. The skylight suddenly bursts open and Dr. Dinosaur is clutching a Zubat using FLY, zooming off into the sunset.