Scene #1831: Ponying Up

Owner	Pose
Mortimer Balman	Spring's still a week or so off yet for Equestria, so before Winter Wrap-Up starts, Mortimer is trying to work on getting Karian to acclimate to Equestria better. Not just so that he can help with the Wrap-Up, but also so that he can better adjust to life here- however brief it may be. Whether or not Karian will choose to live in these lands is not really of much concern to Mort, but if the 'ambassador' is going to stay here he should blend in better. Of lesser importance is of course, going to be watching Karian get used to walking around on four legs instead of two, and seeing how his mind reacts to changes in bio-psych. Gotta take your amusement where you can get it after all. Convincing Karian to go along with this to begin with may present some degree of challenge, but surely reminding him that two other Space Wolves not only allowed it to happen but adapted with ease, and surely a mighty /Wolf Lord/, leader of an entire /Great Company/, would not be outdone by a couple of packless whelps, should help get the process rolling along. When in doubt, threaten the overly masculine power fantasy's sense of masculinity and power. Also promise him some delicious treats. Once Mort can get Karian to go through with it at all, he has promised to take him to the Sugarcube Corner and get some tasties from the Cakes. SO, Mortimer walking along with Karian, down the lightly snow-covered road throughout the main streets of Ponyville. Ulbrecht following Mortimer closely, with old Falstaff sleeping on his back- so big now that the now decript Absol can do this with room to spare- tail wagging excitedly because he knows where they are going, and he knows that Cakes equals delicious treat-things.
Karian Icefang	Walking was an....interesting thing for KArain. Never did he imagine he would be in the form of a pony, nor walking like them. Ygdril still struggled trying to understand, the gears within the poor wolf's head straining to process the events. Still, if Ulbrecht and Mort weren't freaking out, he knew he shouldn't. "How long did it take you to get used to this?" He asks of Mort. Karian's form itself was unique. Bulky thanks to his natural musculature, and with a long, greyish colored mane. A mark in the shape of the wolf head he used as his heraldry completed the look.
Mortimer Balman	Mort calmly walks along, even turning around to walk backwards while watching poor Karian struggle, trying very hard not to laugh his ass off. "Heh.. Well it didn't take /me/ very long, but I've had some experience with bein' shape-changed. A witch once cursed me to have the form of a Shuckle fer about year's time.. That's a pokemon that looks like a bunch of squiggly tentacles stuck inside of a big meteor-lookin' rock. And then there was that time I got cursed t'be a Politoed until kissed by a virginal maiden.. ...Only reason I got outta /that/ one is Jirachi took pity an' kissed my forehead. Bein' a pony is /easy/ by comparison. Jus' remember like this, eatin' meat'll make yah sick as hell. But that's alright, we got other things to fill the belly."
Karian Icefang	Karian hears that and....well...let's hope no young ponies are in range. "WHAT?! YOU TELL ME THIS NOW?!" He bellows, and unleashes an almost nightmarish tirade of curses. Granted he settles down after a moment and sighs. "A little forewarning would have been good to know. I just hope whatever I can eat has flavor......if you tell me I can't drink, I don't know what I'll do...."
Twilight Sparkle	"Ehehe...you might want to keep such talk limited to Mortimer's house." a familiar voice belonging to a certain purple pony says. Spike, upon her back, has his claws over his ears, and Twilight's ears are only now perking back up. "But, I assure you, our food is flavorful and filling." the book pony continues as she clops over to Morty and Karian. "How are you taking to being a pony so far?" Twilight asks Karian. Spike leans in toward Karian and whispers, "If you want flavor, you should try the cajun hayfries." He then points to the cafe that he and Twilight frequent.
Mortimer Balman	Patiently waiting for Karian to stop raving, Mortimer raises a hoof and.. Clonks him firmly on the skull. With a resounding BONK. "Quit yer whinin' yah big wuss! Have you NEVER noticed all the times you've been here, /nopony eats meat/? Mew in a bloody poodle skirt, yer thick as a petrified redwood somedays." He'd shake his head. "Can't.. Drink? Don't be ridiculous! Alcohol is a universal constant! Just, they don't make their liquor out of /lethal toxins/ like Fenrisian Mead. They make it with a wide variety of fruits an' vegetables! I know you had cider at /least/ once. They got all kinds of ales an' liquers an'- oh hey there, Twilit!" He'd swing a hoof out to hook the purple book pony in a great big hug. "How yah doin'? Y'feel up to joinin' me an' Karian at the Sugarcube Corner? I figure a pie or two ought to make him stop whinin'."
Karian Icefang	Karian just stares daggers at Mort as he's clonked on the head. "I never noticed. I thought it was something like that one species that only ate meat at dinner time." He says. He offers a wave to Twilight, or at least he thought he did until he clonked himself with his own hoof. Ygdril simply watched on, facepawing the whole time.
Staren	"Geeze, does your world have /no/ herbivores at all? What's on the bottom of the food chain, then?" asks a voice from above, a white unicorn with a mecha's head for a QT mark, flying down on transparent, stylized orange insect wings, which disappear when he lands next to Twilight. He turns to hug her, then looks back to Karian. "Have you never had flavorful vegetable dishes? Like asparagus, or zucchini fried in butter, or broccoli in peanut butter sauce, or california rolls, or... hey, they can eat fruit too, don't forget fruit! There's plenty of tasty stuff besides meat! Besides, you can always go out into the Multiverse for a meal if you miss the taste."
Mortimer Balman	Mort lets out a bit of a croaking laugh. "Not many, Staren. Most of the wildlife on Fenris is carnivorous, or at the very least omnivorous. Even their herbivores are horrific monstrosities- s'why it's classified as a /Death/ World." And then Karian hit himself with his own hoof, and Mort couldn't keep it in any longer, falling over to the ground holding his sides laughing.
Twilight Sparkle	Twlight gives Morty a hug in return, and does the same with Staren before smiling to Karian. "We also have beans, mushrooms, cheese, bread, and the baked goods that Mortimer seems intent on introducing you to." she says after Mortimer asks about the Sugarcube Corner. "I am sure that you will not even miss meat after a week or two here." Twilight listens to Mortimer's description of Karian's world, then shakes her head. "I am always grateful that Equestria evolved down a path of peace and tranquility rather than the survival of the fittest path that many other worlds and even sections of our own world have taken."
Karian Icefang	Karian narrows his eyes at Mort, plotting sweet revenge when he least expected it. "Aye. Most of the meat we even eat raw, thanks to our stomach augmentations. But that's for a different time." Then he looks over to twilight and nods. "That's why I think your world is the safest of any, against the warp."
Staren	"Oh man, mushrooms! Mushrooms are great." Staren interjects in the middle of Twilight's explanation. After she finishes speaking, he gives her an 'aren't you forgetting something' look and comments, "/Did/ it? Windigoes."
Mortimer Balman	Mortimer takes a few moments to gasp for breath, wiping tears from his eyes. "Oh, oh, oh goddesses.. Oh man I'm sorry Karian but that was just too damned funny.." Deeep breath. "Okay.. Okay. There we go. Phew." Shaking his mane out a little to straighten it. "I believe Karian's right on that.. An' comparatively speaking, Staren, it pretty well did. Even with the Windigoes an' all the evils locked in Tartarus. Fenris is a kill or be killed world. Few natural resources worth minin'. Land is extremely rare. The two main seasons are "brutal blizzards" and "violent volcanic and tectonic activity". The few monstrous beasts that are particularly dangerous tend to stick to the Everfree an' similar places."
Twilight Sparkle	Twilight blinks at Staren, then hmms. "Well, even if what you are suggesting is true, and provided Windigoes are actually real and not simply part of a very old Hearthswarming tale, our world seems to be unique in that our society focuses on getting along with everyone and everything rather than destroying that which gets in our way. Of course, we did still have to tame our world quite a bit, but we never had to wage wars or destroy one civilization in order to establish our own." Twilight pauses. "At least...as far as I know."
Mortimer Balman	Mortimer turns to start walking toward the Corner again. "Fenris is a crucible fer war and bloodshed.. Equestria is one fer harmony an' hope. Each confers upon its people a different kind of strength. But anyway! No call to talk about such things for the time bein'. There's pies t'be devoured an' poor Karian still needs to get his sea legs back under him! C'mon old boy, let's see if'n you can't get the hang of a "mild canter" before we reach the Corner."
Karian Icefang	"Mortimer, I am going to drown you in a keg of ale..." Karian half-teasingly counters as he moves behind the group. He was starting to get the hang of things, and seeing Staren sparked a reminder. "Oh, I heard that you approached the Great Wolf, Mort. He sounded quite amused and intruiged. He released Freyr and Ulf to me, as well as a few crates of bolter shells. Also a few reminders of home, such as a tapestry of Lord Russ. He left a note with it as well. 'Inform the Salamander he should return for the Feast of the Emperor's Ascention. He may get lucky and our Primarch may return. I am eager to see that meeting!'"
Mortimer Balman	Mort's ears flick at hearing that. "Excellent! I am sure Freyr could stay in this place fer centuries with no lack of strange alien rites an' magics to keep him busy. An' Ulf will make an excellent bodyguard, as bravely as he threw himself at Discord without hesitation nor fear. Soon as Spring rolls around we'll get t'work gettin' you lads a good place to set up shop- a temporary one until you make a decision as t'where you wanna live more permanent-like. An' while you do that you can learn more about this kindly world what has allowed me to call it home." He'd throw the door open to the Sugarcube Corner. "CAKES! I've come fer yer Cakes! ...Gwahahahaha!" There is a terrible joke in that statement, perhaps one only Mortimer himself will get. Sadly, the door is too small for Ygdril and Ulbrecht to walk through, but they can poke their faces in through the windows. "Bring out a tray of pies an' wolfy treats if you would be so kind, on my tab of course!"
Staren	Staren nods to Twilight, then gives Mort a questioning look. "'Sea legs'? Also, canter's kind of a hard one to start with, maybe he should start with trotting." He looks forward. "Although, starting with pies is also good!"
Twilight Sparkle	Twilight giggles softly at Karian's threat to Mortimer. "I am not sure that would work. Mortimer would likely just drink the ale." she says as she follows after them. When they reach Sugarcube Corner, Twilight gives Ulbrecht a little attention since she hadn't yet, then heads inside. Mrs. Cake just giggles good-naturedly at Mortimer's joke, then waves a hoof. "Will you be having your usual rum cake with extra rum, Mr. Balman?" she asks, as if he orders it all the time.
Karian Icefang	Karian nods to mort, and manages to get inside and seated before clonking himself again. Ygdril leans into the window, watching like a hawk. "I imagine'd I'd live here. I don't need anything extravagent either. Even a simple tent would be fine for me, my friend." He says. The smells of the shop stirred his hunger, his stomach roared akin to the sounds of the Kraken that lived in the Worldsea.
Mortimer Balman	Mortimer nodded enthusiastically, which threw that mane of his around a good bit. "A'course! Better add a bit more for diversity's sakes, though. If you've any spare pies, maybe a tart or three, an' p'raps some sweetrolls, that'd be dandy. An' the usual biscuits fer Ulbrecht, he'll be sharin' them with Ygdril here." He'd point at the other gigantic wolf's head which was trying to fit inside a window. "How're the twins doin', by the by..?" A question he'd gotten in the habit of asking in recent months, though he could not as of yet bring himself to explain the situation of 'Pinkie's' fallen, broken Equestria to the Cakes. That would be too much hurt on him.. Possibly on them, too. Mr. Cake would no doubt have a heart attack if he heard what happened to his transdimensional/transtemporal offspring. He'd flick an ear in Karian's direction. "Bah, I've already paid fer a few acres of land. You an' yer boys'll get a couple to build upon, the other'll be fer my little farm. I've got an old quonset hut you can use till you can figure out how t'earn enough money of yer own to build a little miniature Fang fer yerselves or whatever y'want."
Karian Icefang	"Hrm....May need to ask for a servitor as well, for designs at least." Karian admits. He thinks on that for a moment, pondering what he possibly could live in. He reached up to rub his chin, and very nearly knocked himself out. "Allfather give me strength....this form is going to kill me."
Twilight Sparkle	"Coming right up!" Mrs. Cake says cheerfully. "Oh, and the twins are doin' fine. Keepin' us busy, of course, but Pinkie is wonderful with them." she says as she prepares the requested treats. "Who is your new friend?" she asks Morty upon noticing the rather large pony version of Karian. "Another strappin' stallion. If you two aren't careful, those cute little CMCs will try to set you up on a date next Hearts and Hooves day." Twilight doesn't order anything herself, but Spike stands up on her back and asks, "Hey, do you have any of those special sapphire frosting cupcakes today, Ms. Cake?" She shakes her head of course. "Sorry, Spike. Those are special birthday cupcakes only."
Mortimer Balman	Mortimer slapped a hoof onto Karian's back. "This is my good friend Karian Icefang, Mrs. Cake! He's one of them folks from the Imperium of Man way out in the distant stars- he's a Lord in one of their big knighthood-type groups, you may remember the two fellas what came from there to help fight Discord some time back, Ulf an' Relk. They've made Karian here an ambassador, so right now he's workin' on gettin' better acquainted with the kingdom. Ain't that right old boy?"
Karian Icefang	Karian nods towards Mrs. Cake. "Aye. It's a peaceful land....much different then what I lived in. Mortimer here has been kind enough to help me out with aclimating and with learning the intricies. Do you have any Peanut Butter treats? Ygdril loves them."
Twilight Sparkle	"I think I have just the thing." Mrs. Cake says as Karian requests peanut butter treats. "So, Mr. Icefang, will you be moving to Equestria as well? If I am going to have another like Mortimer around, I'll have to increase my production of liquor treats." she says as she works. In no time at all, a nice big rum cake, several large peanut butter treats, and some ready-made pies are set before Mortimer. Spike is disappointed to hear what he already knew was true, and Twilight just rolls her eyes a bit at her assistant.
Staren	Staren... mostly listens, here. He hasn't interacted much with Karian outside Abstractum discussions, so he doesn't know the man as well as Mort. He'll try whatever Mrs. Cake is reccomending today. As he did on the day of the ice cream shop, he prepares some diamond sprinkles and offers them to Spike. There's only so much he can do for dragon treats on short notice!
Mortimer Balman	Ah, but Karian is already distracted by food. Poor fella. "Forgive his manners. They're a tad rough at times- but he is a good man, stout an' strong-hearted as any of the finest I've ever known. He may settle here, or hey may not, depends on what the future brings, yea? Reminds me, if he's gonna be an actual ambassador, I'll prolly hafta take him up toward Canterlot at some point.. Twilit, you got any books on proper etiquette I can give him t'read? Or more accurately, give him so's a Servitor can read it to'im?" Ulbrecht is, at this point, craning his head through the window to get at Mrs. Cake and her treats, tail thumping loudly against the ground outside. Falstaff at this point has decided to wander in where it is warmer and immediately slumps over by the Cake's oven, letting out a tired yawn and falling asleep. "Poor ol' Falstaff. Doesn't even care fer the cold anymore."
Twilight Sparkle	"I have many books on proper upper class and Canterlot etiquette." Twilight replies with a smile. "And several more on proper decorum within the royal court itself. I will have a few sent to your house." Spike is all smiles as Staren sprinkles sparkles of diamonds on his cupcakes. The little dragon wolfs them down eagerly. Mrs. Cake nods, easily forgiving Karian. She takes the doggy treats to the doggies, then heads back to the counter. "Anything else?" she asks, nudging the pies toward Morty.
Mortimer Balman	Mortimer bows graciously to Mrs. Cake. "Much thanks, this ought t'be enough. I'll send my tab payment in shortly. Yer a saint of a lady puttin' up with all the work we make you do, Mrs. Cake." Though he was certain that the extra money made up for it, never any harm being courteous. "C'mon Falstaff. Let's get up now." The beastly creature blearily opened an eye and grumbled. "C'mon now, the Cakes've better things t'do than work round yer lazy hind end. Up! ..C'mon old fella, up now." With a disgruntled grumble, Falstaff began trudging out the door where he could climb up on Ulbrecht's back. Mort watched him go the whole time, sighing a bit, then gathering up the remaining foodstuffs so they could be carried home in a bindle. "Much appreciated, Twilit. Oh Spike, don't forget, we gotta clear the snow path back out to Jinxie's place tomorrow mornin'."
Twilight Sparkle	Spike pauses mid-chew to blink and salute Mortimer. "Yes sir!" he says, chest all puffed out, then happily returns to his cupcakes. Twilight however is watching Falstaff. She approaches Mortimer and quietly asks, "Is Falstaff alright? He seems...more sluggish than usual."
Mortimer Balman	Mort chuckles some. "That's a good lad." And then Twilight asks a question he's been dreading a bit. "Falstaff's /old/, Twilit dear.. Absols usually only live around a century's time. He's at least twenty years past that, in terms of linear time. I've talked to the vets an' even Fluttershy. He's got a year, maybe two at most, left in him. Less, if he decides he's got one more fight left in'im."
Twilight Sparkle	Twilight's ears pin back as she hears what Mortimer says. "Oh no.." she says sadly. Spike is blissfully unaware thanks to munching on diamond dusted cupcakes. Twilight is quiet a moment, then smiles softly. "Well, we should try to give him as good a last few years as he can get." she says quietly to Mortimer.
Mortimer Balman	Mortimer reaches up with a hoof and fuzzles Twilight's mane. "You've already been doin' that, dear. Absols're solitary by nature. They spend almost their whole lives alone in the wilderness. Even ones tamed by pro trainers have a habit of stayin' apart whenever possible. But he's all kindsa social with you ponyfolk. 'Specially the little Crusaders. That right there ought to tell yah plenty 'bout how happy you've all made him." A small smile comes over his face.
Twilight Sparkle	Twilight eeps softly as her main is fuzzled, then smiles as Mortimer explains the situation a bit. "I see. I am glad. He is in good hooves, then." She makes her way toward the door after hugging Mortimer. "I should get back to the library."
Mortimer Balman	Mort nods. "Sounds good, Twilit. You take care, yea?" He'd follow her out, hauling Karian and Ygdril and Ulbrecht on off behind him back to his house.