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Owner Pose
Kenji Kawasaki      Kenji Kawasaki probably would've been out of Njorun yesterday if not for fucking up his hand.

     It's just a minor annoyance, as far as Kenji is concerned - he barely did anything to it. He broke the metal of his bed's sidebar when he woke up, horrified and furious, uncertain whether he had actually awakened or if he was trapped in a nightmare without end. It was just a little blood, he'd protested to the doctor after Momoyo Kawakami and Nagato had left, he'd be fine. He was used to this kind of thing.

     But they'd insisted, in large part due to the severity of the injuries he'd been brought in with. So Kenji's been left to stew, to think, to fixate on and be mad about things beyond his control, to...basically just lay in bed all day. He's already lost a week. He's not happy about losing more.

     The Banchou of Taiyou High's room is a generic one, except for the couch sitting awkwardly in the room where a chair should be. The couch probably smells a lot like Momoyo.

     Kojin, invisible to the naked eye, hangs over Kenji's shoulder, a tiny puffballl of fire that flits back and forth over the bed.
Xiaomu There's a light knock at the doorframe of Kenji's room as the teenager is stewing (or cooling his heels). "Hope you don't mind some company to break up the boredom," Xiaomu says. "May I come in?"

She's carrying a basket which smells like it has food in it. Knowing Xiaomu, there's probably some manga and/or some video games in there as well.
Kenji Kawasaki      Kenji looks up at the door and shrugs. "Guess not. Shouldn't be here much longer, though."

     "Yeah, go ahead."

     Kojin, visible to Xiaomu, just sort of hangs there in silence, apparently less than interested in his usual verbal sparring with the fox.
Xiaomu "Glad to see you're finally awake," Xiaomu says as she walks in and takes a seat ... on the couch, since there isn't a regular chair. At least it's conveniently close to the bed and more comfortable than regular hospital furniture; Xiaomu's hair still frizzes up when she takes a seat on it.

And sure enough, Xiaomu brought food. Onigiri, inarizushi, a few apples, some extra fried tofu - not the most balanced of meals, but they medical staff can't complain about it being unhealthy. Most of it, at least. "So how're you feeling," Xiaomu asks as she finishes unpacking the food, "apart from 'bored out of your skull,' 'upset about the fight that led to you being here,' and 'completely bored to tears'?"
Kenji Kawasaki      "I haven't had time to get bored," Kenji replies quietly, "I've been in that fucking nightmare for a week. I only woke up yesterday."

     Kenji takes some of the food. He eats quietly, staying closer to the onigiri and the actually-prepared stuff than the apples. He shrugs again. "It's not the fight I'm mad about. I'm not...I don't really have it in me to be pissed about that anymore. That Hoshi chick kept asking the same thing, if I was still mad. Like when I said it was fine she didn't believe me."

     Kenji stares at the onigiri in his hand. "There wasn't anything I could've done. It didn't matter if she was the one who took the blow or if it was that Geralt guy or whatever. I couldn't stop Diongi...Alfonso, whatever...from killing himself. Or itself."
Xiaomu Naturally, Xiaomu is happy to munch on some of the fried tofu herself, if Kenji allows it. She might have brought extra just so she could do that. "So if you haven't been awake long enough to get bored and you're not upset about the fight, what's got your britches in a braid? You aren't calm, I can see that much without even trying ..."

She pauses briefly. "And yes, hello Kojin, pardon my rudeness for not greeting you properly sooner." She tears off a piece of fried tofu and holds it out as an offering to the not-quite-invisible fireball.
Kenji Kawasaki      Kojin floats up and down for a moment. You know I can't eat anything without fusing.

     Kenji doesn't care what Xiaomu eats. He shrugs a little, taking another bite of onigiri.

     "It's because I'm weak."

     "Couldn't help Diongi. Couldn't help Allenby. Can't beat my rival. I haven't figured out how to get stronger yet. Maybe I need to go find another god to merge with. Get double the strength, or something. Or maybe working harder'll give me more power. I don't know."

     "But I'm tired of watching people slip through my fingers because I'm not strong enough to make a difference."
Xiaomu "Call it a burnt offering, then," Xiaomu suggests with a wry look at the hearth god. "Just don't set off the smoke detectors. Or I can leave some here for you to enjoy while merging with Kenji, if he lets you."

She pops that one bite of tofu into her mouth and munches, though; if she's going to leave a dedicated offering for Kojin to enjoy with Kenji's help, she can at least leave a *whole* piece of fried tofu, not just a bite like she were going to offer to a pigeon.

"And it's called 'brute force' for a reason, Kenji," the sage fox continues after chewing and swallowing. "'Idiot power,' literally ... no finesse, no skill, no artistry. Just trying to crush whatever stands in your way with raw, overwhelming force - and there are always going to be limits to the kind of strength that a human body can bring to bear. Even with a god's support, your body has limits; with time and training, and patient discipline, you can build up your own limits, but it *will* take time and discipline and focus. Nobody gets stronger in that much of a hurry without paying some kind of price for it."

She picks up an apple from what she brought, withdrawing a small knife from her vest, and starts carefully peeling the apple.
Kenji Kawasaki      Very funny. Kojin passes through the food. He is, after all, totally intangible - the only reason Xiaomu can even perceive him is her sage fox abilities. The god flickers around the tofu once more for emphasis, then resumes hovering just above Kenji's shoulder.

     Kenji shakes his head. He looks back at his injured hand, staring at it for a long moment.

     "So how many people have to pay the price before that happens? How many people get fucked-up, how many people suffer, how many have to wait for someone to help them, before my body can handle it? Before I can actually do something? Before I can make an actual difference?"

     "I've been doing this shit for a year. I haven't gotten stronger. I haven't gotten better. I haven't gotten...I haven't made any progress."

     "All I'm good at is brute force, so why the fuck should that be a bad thing?"
Xiaomu "Who says you HAVEN'T made a difference?" Xiaomu responds; true to the water and ice magic she uses from her staff-sword, Suiren, her voice remains cool and calm, almost 'cool as a cucumber' as the saying goes.

"Look," she continues, "the Arisu family - Reiji's ancestors - they've been powerful onmyoji and exorcists since before I met any of them, and it still takes them years of training before they're ready to go out and confront youkai. Reiji started his training when he was just barely old enough to make the right gestures and say the right words, he was still helpless to do anything when his father Shougo got killed ... *I* couldn't even do anything ... and it took him another ten years of training before he became a fully-qualified field agent with the skills to confront his father's murderer. That's *with* a strongly magical ancestry. I don't know if your family has a lot of priests or shrine maidens or exorcists ... ?"

She finishes peeling the apple and starts cutting it into wedges.
Kenji Kawasaki      "Archaeologists," Kenji replies with a shrug.

     "Okay, fine, so I've made a difference. I haven't made a difference for the people I want to help. I haven't made a difference anywhere I actually care about. I can't really think of a single time my presence has made a goddamn difference at all, actually."

     He shrugs at the story. He's heard a lot of people telling him not to feel bad about that lately.
Xiaomu "My point is," Xiaomu says with an excess of patience, "growing stronger takes *time*. Even for immortals. Besides which, Kojin apparently likes you well enough to bond with you as his mortal host, so don't go turning your nose up at a literal divine favor, and a long-term one at that."

She sets the bowl of peeled-and-sliced apple wedges on the bedtable with the onigiri, etc. "You'll get there, Kenji, and if I have good ideas to help your training, I'll certainly offer them up. But ... well, let's say you DID find another god to partner with, assuming Kojin's willing to share. You already turn into a rampaging force of destruction when you fuse with Kojin - I read the reports on what happened in Akihabara from back when Masakado got rowdy lastl year, but you knew I already knew about that - and which god would you partner with that would make you a better fighter, exactly?"
Kenji Kawasaki      I didn't really have any choice. There aren't a lot of people suitable. The situation is kind of unique here.

     "I dunno. I don't know all that much about gods. And that's not what happened. I was pissed off and I needed to blow off steam. When I get mad enough to do shit like that it's got nothing to do with Kojin's power, and it's not necessarily about fighting, either. It's just anger."

     That's true. Kenji being angry makes it easier for him to work with huge amounts of fire. Fire's not an element that likes being controlled.

     "So I dunno. I don't even know what having two gods around would be like. Probably annoying as shit, if this one's anything to go by."

     He's feeling better already.
Xiaomu Xiaomu chuckles, rising from the couch to give Kenji's shoulder a friendly squeeze. "Either way, you do need to work on using your head more, and relying less on your anger. I was talking about Reiji's family line - the potential is in their blood, but it's the *training and the technique* that makes Reiji as powerful and dangerous as he is. Anybody can just flail away at an opponent; a trained fighter knows how to pick his shots to count the most heavily against an opponent. Kawakami has her techniques, and she's not a stupid fighter, but she still seems to go crazy in a fight and I'm not sure that's doing herself any favors in the long term. So my point is ..."

Xiaomu pauses, just briefly, as if going over the wording in her head one more time. "Even if you can't get 'stronger,' you can still grow as a fighter, honing your skills and your techniques. 'Strength' doesn't have to be brute force, and intelligence has always been one of humans' better assets when it comes to confronting the supernatural."