Scene #41: El Gran Gordo Vs. Rhapsody

Owner	Pose
Rhapsody	WELCOME TO THE WORLD MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT. Crowd Fanfare goes here. Its the first round of the Tournament and the first of the fighters is making her way to the ring right now. She thought it was strange when her brother -insisted- she be wearing earplugs when she stepped out into the area, and suddenly, its made very clear why. The moment the coat-clad Rhapsody steps foot into the arena the amount of fireworks that -explode- out in every direction (SAFELY) are loud enough to put an american battleship to shame. All of the fireworks are, of course, red and blue to represent that the Izzet League's guildmaster is coming to the ring! If there was entrance music it was utterly drowned out by the fireworks. Once she sets foot on the ring she gives a wave in each direction to the crowd before setting her sights on the entrance of her opponent. Just who the heck was this El.. G.. guy.. forget it! She has no clue who he is!
Eggman	El Gran Gordo does not arrive through the entrance. Instead, just as Rhapsody's entrance fanfare has died down... Up in the sky, casting a sudden shadow over the stadium, the Egg Carrier III appears!It resembles nothing more than a flying -battleship-, although perhaps about twice of your standard ocean-going vessel. Where the heck did it -come- from? Did it teleport in? Was it somehow -invisible-? Who knows! What people do know, however, as a silvery, egg-shaped vehicle drops down from the Carrier, is that there's some pretty loud music, coming both from the Stadium's own sound system and the Egg Carrier, perfectly synched. youtu.be/9SITtJDz5X0 The Egg Mobile makes its way down to the ground, just as pyrotechnic sparks shoot out from the entrance opposite to Rhapsody - then fireworks shoot into the sky, forming a... stylised mustchaioed face and the letters "E G G". The canopy of the Eggmobile opens, and the front splits, makig it look more like a throne than a vehicle... and El Gran Gordo steps to the ground, laughing. Meanwhile, the Egg Carrier repositions itself to stop casting such a huge shadow on the stadium. It stays up there, though!
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf seems to dig being a commentator... probably appeals to her slight obsession with TV. "And both competitors make BIG entrances! Rhapsody with thunderous fireworks, El Grande Gourd with a huge flying battleship and synchronized music! Between the two of them I think half the crowd has ringing in their ears already!"
Rhapsody	Well wasn't that a flashy entrance. Rhapsody -tries- to look unimpressed as the very odd... looking... wrestler... decends from the massive carrier overhead. Well heck, she could have done that! If she wanted to. Seriously. When Gordo touches ground a glance is given the official who announces very loudly a single word. FIGHT! There's not a moment's hesitation from the Izzet Guildmaster. This would be the first time she's used her spellblades, but she had been practicing for -days- with them! Time for the real thing, even if it is just a match and not life and death. All the better! After slightly crouching, Rhapsody lunges forward across the ring toward 'The Wrestler' before drawing her red spell-blade first. Best to start simple, right? Have your typical overhead slash, Gourdman!
Eggman	El Gran Gordo's grin becomes even wider as the official declares the fight to have begun. "Well then! HAVE AT YOU!" he shouts, rather good-naturedly. He runs at Rhapsody as she charges at him! He's actually pretty fast on his feet for such a big guy. And he uses that speed, even as Rhapsody's spellblade comes slicing down on him, to bump that weight against Rhapsody. He doesn't even swing a punch - he just runs right into her!
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "And we're now live for this match, both competitors charging towards each other, looking to turn the other into a train wreck! Rhapsody slices with dices, landing a sword strike on El Grande! But the Big Man doesn't look like he cares as he body bounces his competition! POW! Rhapsody looks like she got the better of that crash!"
Rhapsody	You know, she really expected this guy to dodge! Running headlong into that gut is a surprise! An unpleasant one, to say the least. Her form seems to scrunch up, even sink into the girth for a hair of a moment before she goes flying backward. What she does manage to do, at least, is land on her feet! Just don't mind the flailing and awkward backpedaling as the CLEAR AND COMPOSED GUILDMASTER regains her balance. She coughs once, glances around, and yeah, everyone saw that. BLUH. Rather than get all embarrassed about it, Rhapsody draws her second spellblade, far more blue then the other one, and SLOWLY moves forward again. She needs to be crafty! Thoughtful! She leaps! She looks like she's going to bring both blades down on Gordo's shoulders, then she doesn't! She tries to land behind him and spin around to use her tail to sweep him off his feet. 'The bigger they are...' and all that!
Eggman	There's a slight trickle of blood running down the Egg Man's left cheek, but he seems to be ignoring it. He laughs again - not a taunting laugh, amazingly - and slaps the front of his chest in a sort of 'come and get me!' gesture. And of coruse, Rhapsody DOES come and get him. He raises his arms to fend off her attack from above... and then plants himself firmly, squatting is knees to lower his center of gravity, as Rhapsody tries to sweep his legs! He doesn't budge an inch. He then... jumps backwards. Elbow drop!
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "Wow! I did not know you could do that with fat! Rhapsody bounces back in more ways than one, faking a downward lunge but going for a tail sweep from behind! BUT EL GRANDE GORDO IS STILL STANDING! What's he going- OH NO, IT'S AN EGGDROP, FOLKS! That's gonna leave a mark!"
Rhapsody	The sight of this VERY LARGE MAN suddenly dropping toward her makes her wish she had an umbrella, or a shield, or that she wasn't about to be crushed by him! When the elbow comes down, she gets caught squarely in the chest. "OUF!" Cue clutching at chest, rolling over and away, a few pained breaths, but she's not out yet! Too early for that! Her hands push into the arena, she leaps to her feet, and without missing a beat she whirls around and slashes at the air with the red blade! ... Clearly its a whiff, right? Wrong! As she spins about, an electrical arc races up the blade from its hilt. An instant later a bright bolt of lightning lances off the blade, thunder ringing out into the arena!
Eggman	EGG gets to his feet after the elbow drop... only to frown a bit as Rhapsody waves her sword in the air. And then... ohgod lightning! He is struck in the chest, actually blasted back a yard or two. His moustache is all frazzled! Even even coughs out black smoke. "...Hahaha! Impressive!" he calls over to Rhapsody - then dashes to the side, circling around for a clothesline!
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "KABOOM~! Rhapsody demonstrates the body electric with a sizzling bolt of LIGHTNING! I think I smell something cooking here in the commentator's booth, but the intern says that's just El Grande Gordo's fried flesh. Gordo jumps up with a compliment to his opponent. 'IMPRESSIVE!' he says. Then he moves like no fat person /I'VE/ ever met and clocks Our Scary Lady with a clothsline."
Rhapsody	And like any good wrestling match, the clothesline flips Rhapsody over once before she lands on her back with a WHUMP of both the air below her, and in her legs, rushing right out. "Ow.." That hurt a smidge, no doubt, but he had to stay close with his fighting style right? Right! Think girl, think! Take advantage of it! Both her legs curl before she leaps up to her feet again! With EL GOURD OF PRODUCE right there by her, she uses the momentum and just keeps going, trying to bring both blades down upon his shoulders! Fiercely! RAWR! She may have rawred when she did it!
Eggman	The BIG GOURD OR WHATEVER doesn't even attempt to dodge. Instead, he just wraps his arms around Rhapsody as she comes down, in an attempt to hold her upside down even as the spellblades cut down his front! Oh no, blood! He keeps his hold on her for a moment, before grinnding, hopping up... aaand PILEDRIVER.
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "El Grande makes Rhapsody flip with that clothesline. She seems to take a moment to get her bearings, and then the White Wonder follows up with a nip-up to a flip and OW! Twin blades to the chest! The Mustache of Mayhem grabs his opponent when she connects, he jumps and then PILEDRIVER! That's going to scramble some eggs for sure! The Big Man just doesn't seem to care what his opponent does; he just blocks it WITH HIS FACE."
Rhapsody	Caught! OH NOES! This was totally unexpected! Somehow she ended up putting herself in the perfect spot for getting her head driven into the ground! Quick! THINK! NO STOP FLAILING YOUR LEGS AND THINK! RIGHT! Energy rushes from the hilt of Rhapsody's BLUE Spellblade and for a brief instant her whole form turns silvery! Right at impact its cast, thankfully! Mizzium skin is a wonderful spell, but it still left her bell rang. Still, she has time to muster a counter attack! Surely the Great Gordon won't expect a counter attack so fast, right! What's a dragon to do in this situation? CHOMP On the first limb she spots!
Eggman	Flash Gordon (--wait) is chomped! On the left arm! He considers this for a moment, standing up, with a dragon comically attached to his left arm. He then whistles, and his Eggmobile-Chair suddenly SHOOTS A FOLDED UP STEEL CHAIR AT HIM. Which he catches and then uses in an attempt to swat Rhapsody off of him.
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf audibly cringes. "Ew! Our Scaly Lady must be desperate to try that on El Gordo Grande! How unsanitary! But she's latched on, and E.G.G. calls for a weapon; a STEEL CHAIR! OH MY DOG! OH MY DOG! That poor dragon is getting wailed on with a steel chair! Guess it's fair since Rhapsody has not one, but two swords!"
Rhapsody	Wait, what? He's standing? Rhapsody just kinda blinks once, realizing she's just kinda dangling in the air and lets go, only to be swatted with a steel chair! (MAH GOD) That sends her wobbling backward for a moment or two, blue Spellblade dropped as her hand goes to her ringing head. Shake it out! That's what she does before she manages to focus, the two El Gordo's becoming one person again. Time to use her brother! Well, not him exactly, that wouldn't be fair or sportsman like according to the WMAT! Instead, her now empty hand reaches into a pocket and pulls out a bright red sphere which she then sends her opponent's way! As it flies through the air it grows in size and ZAPPY NOISES until it turns into a fully fledged bolt of ball lightning! Somewhere Ryxinel cackles in glee.
Eggman	If there's one weakness the EGG has in his fighting style, it appears to be electricity. Now his moustache is even more frazzled, as he's blasted back a good ten feet! He lands sitting down, gasping... and then snaps his fingers. His hover-chair obedient hovers over... and a bottle of water slides otu of a slot in the front. THE GREAT FATSO drains the water bottle while walking slowly towards Rhapsody - then tosses it over his shoulder. The Eggmobile catches it in a net. And then Eggman just tosses the CHAIR at Rhapsody.
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "The crowd is chanting 'BACON!' as Rhapsody unleashes more SHOCK AND AWE with a lighting ball, frying up Grande Gordo like some kind of tasty breakfast treat. EGG looks a little burnt around the edges, but keeps his cool as he chugs a bottle of water down and throws his steel chair- CONNECTING with a SOLID HIT!"
Rhapsody	The sound of metal against noggin rings out once again as, suddenly, there is a chair being applied directly to Rhapsody's head! That wasn't entirely expected and the guildmaster staggers back a step out of shock, then another two or three as she once again tries to clear the ringing out of her head. Once she manages to clear some of it, she takes a step -forward- before breaking out into a dash. She scoops up her blue spellblade on the way and takes to the air with another leap! This time, however, both blades go behind her as she takes a breath. Uh oh. Everyone should know what comes next! Well, they may think they know what comes next but it's not quite right. Fire does not come roaring out from the muzzle of the Izzet Guildmaster, instead its a blast of pure white energy! Looks like this dragon doesn't exactly breathe fire! It even sends her backward rather than causing her to land near the Big Man.
Eggman	FAT MAN (no relation to Little Boy) starts into a run immediately after he throws the chair. As RHapsody comes flying at him and opens her mouth, he instinctively holds his arms in front of his face and runs -through- the burning white energy, somewhat singed by the experience but probably closing in on Rhapsody faster than she would have liked! KA-POW! Finally, he throws a punch.
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "What is that? Some kind of... Rhapsody LIGHTS her opponent up with her wintermint-colored breath, jetting back! El Gordo comes out of the fire and flames swinging with a wicked looking right cross! Hoo boy, fight fans, both competitors are looking rough around the edges."
Rhapsody	That was one hell of a punch! Granted, Rhapsody didn't expect The Great Gourd Man to just tank her energy blast. Darned youth! Clearly it hadn't reached the levels she wanted it to-OHGODFIST. When she lands and that furious fist finds her freaking jaw, her head goes one way, her body following a moment later. She easily spun a 360 and then some before ending up on her knees. Toothspit. That one really smarted! Still, once more, the man was right there, so it was time to take advantage of it. With her back to him, she tries to get her tail around his ankle! With success, she'd lunge forward, trying to cause the man to end up on the ground before spinning around to slash at him with both of the spell blades! Hack and slash hack and slash HACK AND SLASH! Frantic? Maybe a little.
Eggman	The fifty-something old guy is hacked. And slashed. Repeatedly! While on his back and everything! That's it, folks, show's over, the fatso is on his back, no way he can win now- Oh wait he just grabs Rhapsody by the wrists and aims to HURL her off him, while springing up to his feet and charging after her as she flies through the air... and likely lands rather uncomfortably on the ground.
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "Rhapsody puts a tail on EGG that he just can't seem to shake, knocking him down and putting the Fat Man in a world of hurt when those swords come stabbing down! It's all over! It's all... No wait, Gordo has managed to turn the tables and hurl his opponent! Fight's not done yet! The Fat Man hasn't sung yet!"
Rhapsody	GRABBED! "Wha?!" She's actually surprised by this! Once she started tearing into him she really thought it was over! It's not! The grab and TOSS of the dragoness certainly does a number on her shoulder, but she manages to land, awkwardly, on her feet. Huzzah! She takes a moment to work the wronged shoulder, slides the blue spellblade away as a result, and then takes the red spellblade in both hands. "LETS END IT!" she roars out before lunging into the air. A crackle of electricity, another bolt lances off the blade, and THEN she hurls another bright white energy blast out of her muzzle, before impersonating the legendary hero of Hyrule. DOWN THRUST!
Eggman	Ivo's costume (yes I'm using his real name shut up) is looking a bit worse for wear at this point. Not to mention several burns and cuts along his body! And Rhapsody adds to those as she lances him with lightning and... white hot stuff! And then a sword coming down oh no! The Egg actually dodges an attack for the first time this match, letting the sword slam down into the ground next to him. While still crackling with energy, he attempts to take hold of Rhapsody and force her to the ground and into a submission hold! He is actually -startlingly- strong.
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "Rhapsody lands on her feet. Guess the toss did a number on her shoulder. And the crowd goes wild as she cuts loose with FIRE AND LIGHTING! It's a TRIPLE THREAT with a sword strike! The EGG DODGES! WAIT HE DODGED? Oh, that's going to cost him, he went for a hold that didn't take. That could be the tipping point of the match, folks!"
Rhapsody	The problem is that Rhapsody isn't going to find out! The dragon feels her blade bite into the arena floor and takes off like a -shot- as a result, actually leaving the red spellblade behind. Good thing! She manages to avoid the Eggman's attempt to put her down! She isn't sure what he would have done, but it certainly would have hurt! With the red blade stuck in the arena floor, Rhapsody takes hold of the blue one in both hands. While she'd like to try her WOMBO COMBO again, she decides against it. Instead she tries something Gran Gordo did earlier, with the help of the blue blade. She lunges forward, trying to just ram into him, but instead she makes use of Mizzium Skin again! Her form flickers silvery for a moment just as she tries to introduce her skull to his! Metal against skin! WHICH WILL WIN!?
Eggman	Eggman returns the headbutt with one of his own! It does nothing but oddly enough Rhapsody's headbutt didn't do much to him either. "Ha! Nice try, but my brain is NOT my weak point!" He grabs the spellblade that Rhapsody dropped... and moves to smack her back with it, hitting her with the pommel while holding the blade in his hands. More trying to move her back than anything else... Then, he raises one hand, drops the sword, and Adopts A Pose. Four lights shine on the underside of the Egg Carrier III...
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "Rhapsody goes in for a headbutt. What an exchange! The headbutt is met with a headbutt and the sound of two big steel thingies colliding drowns out the crowd for a moment! OW! EL GRANDE GORDO WHACKS RHAPSODY WITH ONE OF HER OWN WEAPONS! Ow! And he even has time for a cool pose with spotlights..."
Rhapsody	That did NOT go as expected! The spell fades, Rhapsody lands on her feet, and the Gourdman is FINE?! "... You have a really thick skull, you know that?" It -had- to be said. She didn't care. Oh no why does he have her spellbladePOMMEL'D "AUGH!" That hurt. A lot. Oh god why does he keep hitting her in the head. WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYY-iiineedasprin.. that's her thought in the moment after she's struck and her world flashes white for a moment. Wait. He's posing? POSING?! Oh, no, no no no, we cannot have -that- now can we? She doesn't even care that her head is pounding and her sighting is kinda fading, she wants to put this guy down for the COUNT! Not just a 3 count, either, lets do this, LAST MAN STANDING style! Once again she takes to the air, leaping high with the intent to come down, feet first, right on his shoulders! If she could just drive him down to the ground she'll put that breath-weapon of hers right into his face, POINT BLANK!
Eggman	The Egg is forced to the ground by Rhapsody's ground pound. But, just before Rhapsody can move in for the kill... The stadium is rocked as suddenly four poles slam into the ground around them, arranged into an eighteen-foot square. Did they come from the Egg Carrier...? They drive themselves into the ground, deploying spikes to keep themselves stable. They automatically adjust so each is the same height... and then they each produce three triangular cable launchers from the front, and fire them! The cables meet in the middle, forming a... A wrestling ring. During all of this, Eggman has managed to get to his feet. He shoves Rhapsody, and then climbs up one of the poles. The main stadium screen goes blank for a moment. Then, the initials "E G G" light up, slightly offset... and El gran Gordo calls out "El Gordo PRESS!" as he backflips off the turnbuckle RIGHT FOR RHAPSODY. Gut first.
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf says, "Leaping lizards! Rhapsody squashes El Gordo like an egg! ... ... ... What the hello kitty?! Woah! The Rotund Wrestler has an actual wrestling ring now! And then, it looks like a finisher as the Stadium screen says "E G G" and then EL GORDO PRESS! An impressive flip off the turnbuckle from The Fat One onto Rhapsody! That's gonna cost at least a few ribs!"
Rhapsody	WHAT No seriously. "What the blazes?!" and suddenly she has ALL THAT GIRTH COMING DOWN ON TOP OF HER! "GAAH!" THUMP. Crash. Crowd -ROARING- out in delight from the sheer spectacle of the magnificent El Gordo Press! Is she down? Is she out? Is the fight over?! Not YET its not! From under the weight, the pain wince has gone and has been replaced by a growing rumble. Said rumble becomes a roar! Said roar rattles bones, shakes windows, causes car alarms to go off! The sheer amount of energy coursing through the Izzet Guildmaster is, well, a scouter would blow up! Rhapsody pulls herself away from the EGG MAN, gets to her feet, turns to stare at him, then just charges. As she's running, a blast of energy once again! She grabs one spell blade, the other, then throws BOTH of them like javelins before lunging into the air, one arm pulling back, to try to put a well placed PUNCH into El Gran Gordo's temple! And if that punch lands, somewhere, a massive explosion goes off! Its more fireworks! Why? CAUSE RYXINEL SAID SO THAT'S WHY!
Eggman	Aaaand... Eggman is pinned to the turnbuckle by two swords - that somehow fail to pierce his gut and go udner his arms instead. Why? Because it's more dramatic that way, that's why! And then... FALCON PUNCH TO THE FACE! There's a pause. A wind blows past, disturbing some of the dust from the damaged arena floor. The Egg Man chuckles. "...Good fight, senorita," he offers... then slumps. DING DING DING. Wait what there's a BELL in this insta-ring?
Kari Wolf	Kari Wolf is drowned out by a roar. "- SHE GOES! The Guildmaster's blades pin Gordo and then.. SUPER AWESOME FLYING FALCON PUNCH! POW! RIGHT TO THE KISSER! IT'S OVER! IT'S REALLY OVER! RHAPSODY WINS!" Somewhere a bell sounds. DING DING DING!