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Graf Zeppelin      Recently, Will Pauwel, Chaser extraordinaire, found himself beset by a certain startling discovery. That Destroyer Princess he was awfully friendly with was gone. And in her place, was Yuudachi. Newly risen and rejoined the fleet. It was great news for Hikari Seaport. Not such great news for him.

     The two couldn't be any more different if they tried. Yuudachi was not Destroyer Princess, and that was a fact that was here to stay. ...It was sad. To think that while they were the 'same person', that they really weren't at the same time. That 'entity' was gone for good, and there was nothing to be done about it.

     However NAKA, Paragon of Love and Peace, couldn't just sit idly by while Will got all depressed. ...It was partially kind of her fault this mess got bigger than it was anyway, so... she wanted him to cheer up. Nevermind all of that. She just wanted the guy to smile again.

     AND SO

     Here they are, at a sprawling amusement part located in Urbania. "Weeeeere here! Tada! Amaze-o-land!" Naka announces, bouncing past the gates after they handed in their tickets with spread arms and huge smile on her face. She was wearing civilian clothing for once. Not her orange fleet uniform, not some frilly idol ensemble, just a pair of jean shorts, a white blouse, and a light jacket over it. Strap sandals adorned her feet, and her hair, usually done up into buns, was now a simple, short ponytail.

     The light cruiser grinned and spun on her heel to face her companion. "Hey, look alive, Will! This is where all the fun is going to happen! C'mon, c'mon!" She cleared her schedule for this too. But she didn't mention that part, no.

     The park itself was pretty packed, with all sorts of people going this way and that with family, friends, and dates, all checking out the rides and games there was to offer. Looks like it was going to be a busy day.
William Pauwel     Death is a funny thing. It can take many forms other than the one that most are so regrettably familiar with. Sometimes, the deceased rises like some kind of awful zombie after death. Other times, someone just... changes so much that, even if they might wear the same face, it's hard to say that they're even really the same person anymore.

    Will isn't used to dealing with death-- of any kind, in fact. Maybe it's strange for him to get so... worked up about the cessation of someone who he only really ever met once. But that meeting had repercussions that were greater than most; Naka forcing him to write what was DEFINITELY NOT A LOVE LETTER was only one thing. That meeting caused dozens of others, some good, some bad-- but maybe what hurts the most is--

Well. It's best not to dwell.

Naka's taken him to an AMUSEMENT PARK, after all.

    Will stares up at enormous steel tracks twisting overhead, and winces at the unfamiliar sound of dozens of people SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS. There're... a lot of people here. A lot of machines. It's the kind of thing that gets his engineer's blood pumping.

Unfortunately, it looks like Will is still feeling a bit of his... saudade.

    Or maybe he's just trying to keep himself from staring at Casual Naka. Because Will's will is weak when it comes to girls and especially girls in cute clothes and THIS IS NOT A DATE, REALLY. Even so, he's still pretty subdued, his expression lacking its usual good cheer, though there is a glimmer of wonder in his eyes. "Uh, y-yeah. This place is kind of... It's pretty huge, Naka," a coaster roars by overhead. Will, actually dressed relatively casually (if also kind of... rustically) in a button-down shirt and a pair of well-used denim jeans. "...Those machines're pretty amazin' though."
Graf Zeppelin      This is totally not a date. Not at all. It's just two people going to same place and enjoying the same things together!

     Naka's smile endure, even if she can see that Will is...less enthused than she would have figured he'd be. Oh, she can see the glimmer of wonder in his eyes, being held back by...well, all of that other stuff. But that's okay! She's here to cheer him up! And cheer him up she will!

     "Hehe, aren't they!? They're huge and they carry you all over at ALARMING SPEEDS!" With arms in the air, the girl spins once to ennunciate her point. "And so, with that said...!" She reached out and grabbed Will by the arm, hugging it to her chest with one of her own. "Let's go and ride one!" Quickly deciding their course of action, Naka valiantly points off into the distance at the biggest, meanest, baddest coaster she can spy.

     ...THE DEATHCOASTER 9001.

     ...This isn't a date, okay?
William Pauwel Yes, this is not a date. Who would think this was a date? How silly. Those people are so silly. Yes, this is not a date.

    "So you get in and ride 'em? But where do they g-woah!" Wherever Will's train of thought was going, it promptly runs straight into a sinkhole and vanishes, because there is a CUTE GIRL hugging his arm into her chest. This is not a situation that William Pauwel is at all familiar with! This is... SCANDALOUS. The kind of stuff that wandering paparazzi would gobble up!

    Will is not one of those, and so instead his thoughts just sort of vanish into a warm, fuzzy haze. There's just a wave of bright red blush that climbs up his neck and goes all the way up to his ears. It's vaguely adorable, but also leaves Will utterly unable to resist Naka dragging him away. "Y-yeah! Uh. L-let's... let's go ride..."

THE DEATHCOASTER 9001!?

"W-what happened to the other 9000?"
Graf Zeppelin      Naka is well aware of Will's reaction to close contact. But she doesn't care. Or more accurately, it's adorable, and she wants to see more of it. ...Wait no! This isn't tease Will hour! This is cheer up Will hour!

     Well it's a good thing the difference between the two was commenting on it or not.

     So Naka kept her mouth shut! Mission complete!

     She drags the poor boy all along through throngs of people, looking left and right at the various stands, games, and rides while making their way off towards the MOTHER OF ALL ROLLERCOASTERS. But then there is a pause. Will asks THE QUESTION that must NEVER BE ASKED.

     Naka's expression turns dramatically grim, and she looks right at Will, pausing in her dragging. "Will... we don't talk about the other 9000 anymore." She smiles. "They're in a better place now."

     And then the gloomy PTSD act is promptly dropped as soon as it started, Naka pulling him off the rest of the way. They happened to be lucky enough to catch the tail end of the line to board the next run, and didn't have to wait terribly long. They're allowed through, having seats and strapping themselves in with those bulky coaster harnesses that look like they belong on a spacecraft.

     "Hehehe, are you ready, Will? Because I'm ready! I'm so totally ready! This is going to be the greatest thing!" Giggling like a giddy little schoolgirl, the light cruiser teeters back and forth. "First one who screams loses!"
William Pauwel WILL IS NOT ADORABLE.

H-he's just easily flustered and utterly inexperienced with this kind of thing. Also his blush goes absolutely everywhere. Some people might think that's cute but IT'S NOT OKAY.

    Under normal circumstances, Will would be thankful that Naka isn't ribbing him about his awful blush. Right now though, he's lucky that he can even keep up with her pace with his face on fire and his brain a fluffy cotton-candy mess. Still, he'll probably be happy about it later! Or maybe he'll get caught up in a vicious cycle of wondering why she DIDN'T needle him mercilessly. What kind of dread implications might that conspicuous inaction truly have!?

Who really knows the heart of a Kantai Aidoru?

    But then Will asks his question and Naka replies, and Will looks paradoxically as if he were a tomato that just opened Pandora's box. "A- a better place?" Like... Like Destroyer Princess--

NOPE. Naka does not brook any gloom of any kind. As if sensing the depressing chill descending, she yanks Will right out of it. Physically. They're channeled through the queue in lightning speed, which says something about just how crazy this coaster must be. "T-the greatest thing!? Really?" Will stares up at DER UBERCOASTER, a few drops of nervous sweat dewing his brow. "Well, I-I ain't a screamer! So y'all'll have to get ready to lose that bet!"

"Uh," Will says after a second. "Wait. What happens to the loser?"
Graf Zeppelin      As they're both strapped in, along with all the other riders in their group, the ride begins. ...with a slow crawl upwards. "Hee hee~ Not a screamer, he says! We'll see about that after you've gotten a taste of the DEATHCOASTER 9001!" There is a moment of silence in which Will asks about the loser, and Naka blankly stares at him.

     "We-"

     She is abruptly cut off right then as the coaster LURCHES DOWNWARD AT HIGH SPEED.

     "-eeeeeeEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL!"

     That question is not getting answered anytime soon.
William Pauwel     Will definitely didn't set Naka up to lose her own challenge there. Nope. He is not at all that shrewd. He is, however, apparently luckier than the average Chaser. Also, presently going much, much faster than the average Chaser. Will doesn't even really have time to scream before he's sent HURTLING DOWNARDS at speeds that are quite frankly ludicrous. Will's thrown into the back of his seat, briefly rendered utterly weightless as the coaster turns into a 105 degree drop. It's only when the coaster lifts up from its drop that Will manages to locate his lungs and starts yelling with the rest of the passengers.

The rest of the coaster is a dynamic interchange of loops and corkscrews, interdimensional quantum antigravity wells and other innovations to the great discipline of ride design. Will might not have been the first one to scream, but it's apparent by the end of the ride that he may have fibbed just a little bit.

He's definitely got a set of lungs on him.
Graf Zeppelin      Naka screams.

     Naka screams a lot.

     It certainly helps, being a singer. She can scream for long intervals!

     It's truly a spectacle. With every twist and turn, her octaves get lower and higher. It's actually hilarious. She lost the best the moment she made it nearly.

     And then eventually, the RIDE FROM HELL comes to a slow, puttering stop at the exit lane. "..........." Naka is silent. Silent but panting deeply. "........AHHHHHH! I LOST!" She cries, flailing her arms forward, due to the clunky harnesses.

     Well.

     They disembark, the light cruiser's shoulders slumped like the defeated woman she was. Sigh. It's only a few seconds however that she suddenly bucks up. "Whew! Okay! That was crazy! The stories were true after all!" And then she grabs Will by the arm again, hugging it and pulling him along. "Let's go get something to drink! As everyone's favorite fleet idol, I've got to keep my throat in good shape!" Drag drag drag.

     She doesn't let defeat take her easily, huh?

     "...And I guess I owe you a favor! Whatever it is!"
William Pauwel     Of course, there's no way Will can possibly out-scream the Fleet's very own idol. His lungs are comparatively weak and not trained by a career singing and dancing in front of an adoring audience. Still, he screams all the same; though his is really more of a yell.

    But soon, the ride is over. Will is left... Just a little bit breathless. "Y...yeah," Will kind of sort of answers to Naka's capitulation. He's sagging a bit into his harness, looking like he'd just experienced some kind of coaster nirvana. "Wow. That was... That was pretty intense." He's also sort of... wobbly when they disembark. His legs don't seem to be doing too well when he lifts himself up out of the train. In a good way, though. Not doing well in a good way. The kind of way that comes from being sent hurtling at hundreds of miles per hour down a screaming steel track.

No mention of Will's screams though. TODAY IS A GOOD DAY.

    Naka might be slumping, but Will looks out of it, too. Again, in a good way. It looks like Will might have developed a budding love for SUPER HIGH SPEED THRILL RIDES. "Yeah.... Yeah that was..." Nuts? Amazing? EXTREEEEEEME? "That was a lot of fun, wowoaaah--!!"

    HIS ARM. AGAIN. INTO HER CHEST. AGAIN. Naka may not be intending to, but she's turning Will's poor heart into a yo-yo, tugging it this way and that around her little finger. HOW CRUEL. "D-drinks? Uh. S-sure! Wonder what they have--" A... Favor?

A favor.

An open ended favor.

Will's brow furrows as he's dragged along. But... What should he ask? H-hmm.

Hmmm.

    "Well uh, I could go for somethin'. They got some kind of restaurant around here or something?" Because Will is a terrible country bumpkin, and has no idea how food courts work. Or even what kind of sweet, delicious drinks they might have in store. Milkshakes and fruitshakes and super sweet lemonade and giant souvenier cups with twisty, bendy straws.

But... That favor. Hmm.
Graf Zeppelin What should he ask indeed? Naka doesn't give him any suggestions whatsoever. She just lets him stew in in the thought. He probably won't make her do anything crazy! After all, it's Will! The guy who can't handle an arm hug!

     Wait that was mean.

     But he can't read minds, so it's all good!

     "Restaurant? At an amusement park? Will, Will, Will! We need to show you what actually goes on at places like this!" She pulls him along, through throngs of people all trying to go here and there, and towards a small plaza of tables and stands. This is it. The food court. "Here we are! The paradise of totally unhealthy eats! The amusement park food court! Tada~!" With one arm latched onto Will's, Naka sweeps her other arm out dramatically, drawing a number of stares from passer-bys. ...But she didn't mind that. She sings in front of audiences!

     "Now, it's your choice! What looks interesting to you?" She was letting him pick, huh? Well, this was Will's day. That stood to reason.
William Pauwel How do you know Will can't read minds!? Can NAKA read minds to make sure Will isn't reading her mind? Would that cause some kind of terrible empathetic feedback loop that would leave their psyches JOINED TOGETHER FOREVER!?

Probably not, because that would be weird.

    "The... food court?" Will blinks, befuddled as he's pulled along through the crushing, churning crowds. What kind of court is full of food? Some kind of... weird fairytale noble kind of--OH it's like a cafeteria, okay. That makes sense. "Wow, that's... A lot of food." And it all looks so good! And also so very, very unhealthy. Like, 'deep fried sticks of butter' kind of unhealthy. But after a bit of thinking, it seems like Will settles on...

Milkshakes?

MILKSHAKES.

And funnel cake, apparently. Is Will targeting Naka's well-honed figure!?

    "I've heard of these things," Will explains as he gives his order. He seems to want some kind of VANILLA CARAMEL mixture. "When I was wanderin'. They always looked pretty good, but I never really had a chance to stop and try 'em."

    "So uh," Will muses, his eyes wandering over in Naka's direction. There's a dread, calculating light in his gaze. WHAT IS HE THINKING. "An open favor, huh?" He shakes his head. "W-well, anyway, uh. Let's find someplace to sit down? I wanted to... say somethin'."
Graf Zeppelin      If Naka and Will shared the same psyche would that make them....Naka Pauwel?

     No that's just weird.

% Forgetting about that. Food, food, food. What is Will going to choose? Something nice and healthy that won't make her regret everything the next day!?

     No. In fact, the opposite. Literally the most unhealthy thing he could set his eyes on. Milkshakes and funnel cake. Naka winces, but nonetheless, she follows along, paying for it all the same. BE STRONG, NAKA. AND PREPARE TO DO A LOT OF EXERCISE. YEAH.

     "W-Well, they are good! But they're also super unhealthy!" She laughs a bit and sighs. "But I guess that's fine if you get tons of exercise. ...Which we do! I mean, you're a professional at getting chased down by big scary things! And I'm the one who brings LOVE and PEACE to the Multiverse!"

     Naka looks toward the camera and winks.

     ...What camera?

     Anyway, they have their food and drink, and now her companion is speaking about having something to say? "Hah? Well, alright. We've got to sit down anyway." She looks left, and then right, and spies a free table some ways off. "Over there!" The light cruiser nods towards it and then walks over that way, sliding into a chair upon their arrival, setting her food and drink down, and then, after some hesitation, digging in. "Sho-ahem-I mean, so what've you got to say, Will?"
William Pauwel     "Super unhealthy?" Will blinks, as if not quite grasping Naka's meaning. "Back home, we'd say that this'll put some meat on your bones! A good glass of milk n' some fried dough's just what a body needs." Is it at all obvious that Will is a bit of a farmboy? If he wasn't an adventurer, he might one day grow into a MUSCLE POTBELLY. But fortunately, that's probably not in the cards.

    Not that he or Naka really need to worry much. Like she said, they spend most of their days moving! Naka gyrates on stage before a legion of squealing fans, and Will runs for his life from things that want to kill him. That's practically the same thing!

    Regardless, Will settles into his seat as they find their way over to that conspicuously open table. He immediately takes a mouthful of funnel cake and seems to shudder at the SUGARY BLISS. Will has a sweet tooth!? Or maybe it's just... Farmboy instinct? But he restrains himself long enough to get back to business.

...Personal, feelings-y business.

The worst kind.

    "...Well uh," Will murmurs, eyes flitting away like they belonged to some kind of small animal. "I just wanted to say..." Steel yourself, young man. Gird your fullmetal heart and speak the words that boil out of your soul! Will takes a breath and says...

    "Thanks, you know? F-fer bringin' me here. I would've just... sat around and moped if you didn't. I just wanted t' say that I'm glad y'all brought me here, is all." He glances vaguely sideways, stuffing another mouthful of funnel cake into his face. His red, red, embarassed face. "T-thatsh it. M' havin' a great time, is all."

Will status: Still horribly, terribly, awfully awkward.

All is right in the world.
Graf Zeppelin      "......"

     Naka listens to Will, opinions on fried foods aside, as he tells her that he's having an honestly to goodness good time. And a smile grows on the girl's face. It's small at first, but it gets bigger and bigger as the seconds pass. "Ehehe, aw! No problem, Will! I couldn't just look away when a friend is obviously down! Don't think anything of it!" She salutes comically, hair swaying from the sudden motion. "Light Cruiser, Naka, just doing her duty to her friends!"

     And then she sticks her tongue out and winks. "Now c'mon!" She chugs down her milkshake between bites of her cake. "Leshh finishh up and gho chek sum othur shtuff out!" ...Swallow first, you two.

     And nevermind the fact that a nearby wall just shifted a little.

     Trick of the eye.
William Pauwel ~Heart Point Up~

Wait, no, there was no jingle there. NO FLAGS RAISED. EVERYTHING IS FINE. THIS IS NOT A DATE.

    Will watches out of the very corner of his eye as Naka's grin grows three sizes, then another three, until it reaches MAXIMUM NAKAPOWER. "W-well I appreciate it! I'm just--" Extremely awkward? Utterly unable to handle teasing girls? "...A-anyway, w-we should do this more often I guess and--"

Wait.

OH RIGHT that was just the first ride, wasn't it? There are probably EVEN MORE. Like the ARMAGEDDON TOWER and the PROMINENCE TWISTER.

But to get to the others... Will must do TERRIBLE THINGS to his caloric intake! It's fine, though. It's fine because this is all delicious and he can't stop stuffing his face full of it. Figuratively. WILL HAS MANNERS. It means that he's too busy eating to notice that...

That they have... ambulatory walls watching them. Apparently. STALKERS!?
Graf Zeppelin      What heart points? THIS IS NOT A DATE.

     "Suuuure, we can hang out more often if you want!" That is, if she can make time between shooting down Abyssals and being everyone's favorite fleet idol! But nevermind that. This show was only just beginning! There was still THE ARCADE, and THE RIVER STYX, and the SHUDDERING TYPHOON OF NEAR DEATH, and-

     Enough of that! Time to go! Naka finishes up, tosses her stuff into a nearby trash bin, and then stretches out "Phew! Okay, I'm alive again! Now c'mon, Will! We've got a ton more rides to check out!" And unceremoniously, she grabbed his arm, whether or was finished or not, and began dragging him off again, while pointing into the distance. "To the ARMAGEDDON TOWER!"

     ...And after they left the food court, the nearby wall peels away to reveal...

     ...Sendai and Jintsuu. They look at each other. Nod. and then run off to continue stalking like the ninjas they were.

     Oh boy.
William Pauwel     Amaze-o-Land is home to some of the most terrifying thrill rides in all the multiverse. As of yet, William Pauwel and the fleet idol, Naka-chan have tackled some of the best of the best and some of the worst of the worst. They're also TOTALLY NOT ON A DATE. But even with such devastatingly pants-threatening rides as THE DEATHCOASTER 9001 and THE ARMAGEDDON TOWER behind them, the most terrifying ride of all still waits in the wings.

Yes. Now, they boldly go for the most heart-fluttering ride of them all.

                    --==THE TUNNEL OF LOVELY LOVE~<3==--                    

    Okay, so maybe Will's the only one who's actually uncertain about this one, but they've ridden pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE already, and NAKA-CHAN DEMANDS HER DREAD TOLL. Or maybe they've actually been on the run because ~someone~ has been chasing them, and the only decent place to hide is either in here or in Mister Clownface McGee's Rainbow Friendship Joy House.

And nobody likes clowns.

    "Uh," Will fidgets before the dreadfully pink and disconcertingly frilly heart-shaped building looming over him. "N-Naka, w-what is this, exactly?" Oh no, it seems he hasn't quite grasped the magnitude of what's happening here. Or maybe he's just in denial.

Probably the latter, honestly.
Graf Zeppelin      Naka and Will's AMAZ-O-LAND ADVENTURES continue. And they've tackled many an insurmountable wall in their time thus far. With obstacles such as the DEATHCOASTER 9001, ARMAGEDDON TOWER, The WHIRLING DERVISH, and the MERRY GO ROUND OF DESPAIR behind them, along with lesser attractions, they've eventually nearly run through the entire spread of the park's activities.

     Of course, Naka was content to drag Will every which way and force him to have fun, sometimes at his own expense, but somewhere along the way, she could feel, very vaguely, eyes on them at increasingly frequent turns. And yet, whenever she turned to look, there would be nothing. Just other parkgoers.

     And so the light cruiser began to veer the two of them off to somewhere to hide.

     NOW, it was either THE TUNNEL OF LOVELY LOVE or MISTER CLOWNFACE MCGEE'S RAINBOW FRIENDSHIP JOY HOUSE.

     The choice was obvious.

     Standing at the booth to admission, Naka smiles wide with cheer as Will fidgets and hesitates. "Hm? Oh don't worry about it! It's a boat based ride! It'll probably be pretty nice!" She says, either glossing over the details, or pretending that the implication simply doesn't exist.

     After all, this isn't a date!

     And then the two of them are directed to board the next available boat, side by side, to head into the obscured tunnel, which upon doing so begins to drift slowly and relaxingly into the shaded passage...
William Pauwel     "B-but its name is--" Just a boat-based ride!? This thing is called the TUNNEL OF LOVELY LOVE~<3! The heart is IN THE NAME. Will's heart is threatening to pound out of his chest. It's not a date. IT'S NOT A DATE. IT'LL BE FINE. IT'S NOT A DATE.

    Of course, if Will actually knew they were being followed, maybe he'd be a little less... fussy about all of this. But alas, Will's skillset does not include 'detect ninja,' unlike a certain Idoru Light Cruiser. Who may also be a ninja herself.

Ninja Idoru seems to be an underexploited niche!?

    But as they sail into the Tunnel of Lovely Love, Will's nerves... are actually getting even more frayed, because holy crap they're actually doing this. Going into a dark tunnel, on a two-rider boat. IS THIS A DATE!? HAS THIS BEEN A DATE THIS WHOLE TIME!?

    The darkness yields to a hot pink light as they roll into the tunnel proper. Ripples in the water reflect the glow hypnotically across the ceiling and walls. Will blinks as they sail deeper, curtains of gossamer silk part to allow them entry. "This... ain't too bad?" Will can kind of see how this could be... romantic. Maybe. A little.

They pass through another chamber. Another curtain. But this one is... a little different. It's thicker. Made of some dark, shimmering fabric. It's almost as if it was designed to... block sound.

And as they pass through that dark curtain, they're faced with the dull roar of an approaching waterfall.

...Moments before they hit it.

Will screams all the way down, down, down into the depths of the earth.
Graf Zeppelin      Naka may or may not be a ninja.

     We just don't know.

     She does however totally wave off Will's worries with a cheerful little smile, slapping him on the back. "It's fine, it's fiiiiine~" Sure. Totally fine. She grabs his arm and drags him onto the boat, settling in before they finally set off within...

     And while Will silently loses his mind, Naka just teeters back and forth, humming a little happy tune to herself. "See? It's not that bad at all! It's nice and relaxing. I'm not sure what was actually in here bu-"

     Gravity takes effect.

     "-UUUUUAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

     And as they sail downwards at ALARMING SPEEDS and nearly a 90 degree angle, Naka screams, throwing her arms around the poor guy and holding all too close for safety. As if that was actually going to help anything.

     Maybe she should have brought her fit-out!? No, they wouldn't let her into the park with GUNS all over her. Don't be silly!
William Pauwel TUNNEL OF LOVELY LOVE!?

MORE LIKE TUNNEL OF TERRIFYING TERROR.

    Will and Naka scream long and deep as the track gives way underneath them. HOW DEEP DOES IT GO? HOW DEEP ARE THE DEPTHS OF LOVE!? How deep are the eternal depths... of ~obsession~? Deep enough, apparently, for the eventual termination of their drop to result in a GIANT WAVE OF TUNNEL WATER to completely drench the both of them.

And of course, Will is right there, clutched tightly in Naka's arms.

It's okay, because he's grabbed onto her, too. ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND HORROR RIDES.

    The river's course seems to return to some semblance of normalcy, then. No more sudden drops, no more terrifying slopes, just... Inky blackness. Darkness illuminated only intermittently by the bioluminescent glow of some twisted, malformed coral mass. It immediately reminds Will of a certain encounter with a different submarine horror, and the shadows cast upon the walls conjure nightmarish images across the periphery of his vision. The air in the cave rolls back and forth, almost as if it were the damp breath of some unknowable creature from the abyss.

Horrors begin to rise from the darkness, just out of the corner of his eye. Dark, drowned, corpsey figures with hair like sheets of unending, silken growth. "N-naka--" Will stammers into the pyrelight surrounding them. "I thought this was a Tunnel of Love, Naka! What is this even!?"
Graf Zeppelin      The drop eventually comes to a swift and sudden end, with a splash of water drenching the both of them unceremoniously. "Buwagh-!" And then....then they're back to cruising through the channel at some semblance of normalcy. However..

     Why is it suddenly so ominious? She's still clung to Will as she peers about warily. "I-I don't know! I've never been in here before! I thought it was just going to be a simple river ride!" She squealed, shaking her head.

     "What does any of this have to do with love!?" Maybe by scaring passengers into each others arms. Perhaps. How roundabout.

     ...Wait a second, did two of those shadowy figures just move? Their gazes follow Will and Naka intently, head's moving to face them as the boat passes by.
William Pauwel     What indeed does this have to do with love? That question can be answered by a commemorative bronze plaque hidden carefully among the grotesquely shaped lobes and eaves of the tunnel surrounding them. Inscribed upon it, a poem! Presumably by this place's architect.

                               Roses are Red                                
                              Violets are Blue                              
                            Only I Can Love You                            
                     Those Whores are All Dead Now Too                      

    Unfortunately, neither passenger seems very interested in reading said plaque, because they're both too busy being SCARED OUT OF THEIR MINDS. "I- I don't know! It's like some crazy person's idea of love! Who has HORRIBLE CORAL MONSTERS in their lovely love!?" Given present circumstances, Will is now EXACTLY PARANOID ENOUGH to believe that two of the shadowy figures are actively following them with their dreadful gorgon gaze.

"N-naka," Will stammers again, "Naka, I think we're being watched, Naka. I don't think we're safe down he--EERE"

    Suddenly ~SOMETHING~ drops into the boat, draping a pair of clammy limbs around their shoulders. "Helloooo newww friendsss," the voice breathes, tightening its grip ever so slightly. It peers out through glowing, pyrelit eyes, words hissing out through tombstone teeth and emaciated lips, Welcome to your new hhhhhhooooome~~<3"

HOW DOES SOMETHING SOUND MARROW-CHILLING AND HEART-SHAPED AT THE SAME TIME!?

THIS IS HOW.

WHAT DO.
Graf Zeppelin      "W-Will... I also think we're being watched." She shivers comically, peering back at those grotesque figures. She totally missed the plaque. "Will, this place is cree-PY!" THUNK. Something lands in their boat. Clammy arms are brought around their shoulders.

     And it SPEAKS.

     "........."

     Naka shakes.

     "Ahahahaha.....haha..ha.....HAHAHAHA...AHAHAHAHAHA!"

     NAKA HAS BEEN BROKEN.

     "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

     She grabs the thing by an arm, and pulls it over her shoulder, bringing the thing(likely an employee in costume. ...Or a hired eldritch horror, this is the multiverse after all), to her back. And then she LURCHES, and throws the thing over her shoulder with practiced ease.

     WAS THAT A JUDO THROW!?

     But she doesn't stop there, after the thing splashes into the water, if it doesn't save itself some other way, she immediately reaches into the boat and grabs a comveniently placed pair of oars, frantically paddling the boat up the channel.

     "GOTTAGETAWAYGOTTAGETAWAYGOTTAGETAWAY"

     ...It was too effective.
William Pauwel "Ah."

Will says, as the thing wraps its arms around him.

"Ahwha--"

Will's eyes tremble.

"AWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA--"

WILL HAS BECOME A DESTROYER.

    Ah, fear. Fear, horror, pants-wetting terror, all these delicious emotions are the most delectable meal. "KAKAKAKAKAKA~ WHAT'S WRONG~?" The... the *thing* cackles, its hair twisting into great, winding tendrils that fan out like the wings of some awful, tentacle-ridden chiropteran. "Did I SCAAAAAARE yo-OOHH!?"

WAIT
NO
THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO THROW LIKE THAT.

    Will stares, transfixed in terror as something deep within Naka-chan snaps like a firetwig. The awful abyssal horror sails flailingly in a perfect parabolic arc, and lands in the water with a sharp splash.

For what comes next... Well, it's a good thing there's a spare set of oars, because Naka ain't paddling alone.

Uh.

GOTTAGETAWAY.

    "AWAWAWAWAWAWAWWAWAWA--" Will is incoherent. He doesn't need to speak to paddle. It's time to nope the fuck out of here. The water parts behind them like they were in some kind of ridiculously high-powered speedboat instead of the DINGHY OF DESIRE they're ostensibly riding. The boat hits a solid, screaming SOMETHING as it tears back the way it came. You wouldn't think that a raft would be able to PADDLE up a nearly 90-degree drop, but Naka and Will (but mostly Naka) make it happen. The boat sails up past the black curtains, cresting its leap just over a pair of unwitting lovebirds, causing them to crane their heads away moments before plummeting down that terrible drop.

They row all the way back to the tunnel's mouth, bank off the starting ramp, and somehow land way at the back of the line.

Light. Sweet, glorious light, pouring out of a merciful, loving, twilit sky. Will sags against his oars, panting like he just hauled ass up a cliff in a damn boat. "N-naka. I don't ever want to do that again. N-never agai--"

*THUD*

A clammy, delicate, black-clawed hand sweeps out of the water and clutches at the bow.

A terrible, curtain-haired head with too-pale skin pulls out of the murk with a spray of foam. "HEEEEEY," the creature hisses, heaving itself up, "THAT WASSSSN'T NIIIICE."

Will promptly shrieks like a little girl and throws himself into Naka's powerful embrace.

TUNNEL OF LOVELY LOVE, GUARANTEED TO INSPIRE ROMANTIC CUDDLING.

OR MAYBE JUST TERRIFIED CUDDLING.
Graf Zeppelin      They paddle UP THE WATERFALL and DEFY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS to get away from this HELLISH HELLSCAPE FROM HELL Nevermind all of those other people who are about to be scared out of their wits. Nope! Their problem! They were getting AWAY FROM HERE.

     With a splash, they arrive back at the mouth of the tunnel, Naka panting as if she'd just ran ten marathons. "N-Never again...I am never goin to-hweh?"

     It's that thing.

     IT'S THAT THING.

     "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

     Will jumps into Naka's arms, and Naka leaps out of the boat, onto the walkway, and HAULS ASS back into the amusement park, amused stares from the attraction's employeees, and confused looks from those about to embark following in their wake.

     ...Naka: 0
Will: 0
Amaze-o-Land: 1
William Pauwel     Yes, it seems that the TUNNEL OF LOVELY LOVE~<3 has claimed another pair of victims. Though not in the way it usually does. After all, they completely bypassed the HEARTHROB GEYSER that would have tossed them back up to the ride's exit. As Naka and Will flee like the scared little girl-children that they truly are at heart, the strange, pale creature stares after them with burning, cerulean eyes.

"WAAAAIIIT," it calls, reaching out with its clawed hand, "YOU FORGOT YOUR FREE MILKSHAKE COUPONNNNSSSS."

Speaking of milkshakes.

Sometime later, at the foodcourt, Will, drenched and traumatized, is staring down a small vanilla shake.

His eyes look kind of hollow. Also mortified. Also terribly embarassed at what just happened.

Mostly traumatized though.
Graf Zeppelin      "........."

     Naka-chan Is Always Listless.

     Okay maybe not. But after that HARROWING debacle, she's just sitting there, across from Will, looking super strung out. Like... Sure, the other rides were pretty scary, but NOT LIKE THAT. Her blank eye just stare down at that strawberry shake listlessly. Several seconds pass after that, and then...

     Siiiiiiiip.

     "We're never doing that again." She states, raising her head to look at Will. Her lips curl upward into a smile. ...And then a grin. Then there's a snort. "Pfft...ahahahahaha! Oh, but you should have seen your face though! Ahahahaha!"

     Well. Guess that kind of stuff doesn't keep her down too long.
William Pauwel Other rides did not have WEIRD FEAR-EATING TERROR-MONSTERS lurking inside them. Sure, the WHIRLING DERVISH had actual falchions and the MERRY GO ROUND OF DESPAIR may or may not have been some the result of spiritually binding a herd of actual Nightmares to a normal Merry Go Round, but still!

Siiiiiiiip.

    Will glances up at the noise. His lip twitches, then his eye spasms, then he breaks into a gleeful, teary-eyed laugh. "Pfffft, MY face? Y'all were the one that hauled us back uphill out of that tunnel. But we're never doing that again. Never, ever again."

Until the next time they come here, and bring some of their friends along for the ride.

Huh. Maybe that's why there was such a long line for that one. SCHADENFREUDE.

"It was kind of weird though. I really did think we were... Y'know. Bein' watched, down there." Or maybe it was just the paranoia? Strange.
Graf Zeppelin      "Yeah well, it was scary!" Naka fumes, puffing her cheeks out like a petulant child. "Hmph!" And then she had another long sip from her shake. At the mention of being watched, the light cruiser just closed her eyes, considering the notion. "Oh, yeah, we were being watched."

     Those eyes open and she glares at a nearby wall. "You can come out now!"

     ..........

     Nothing happens at first. But then, after a long while, there's a sigh, and the wall...rolls down, revealing a pair of girls that looked a bit older than Naka. One had short brown hair, wearing some kind of black, white, and orange getup that looks suspiciously ninja-like.

     The other had longer hair, parted at the forehead and wearing a very similar orange uniform. Kind of similar to Naka herself when she was on duty.

     And Naka herself sighs and hangs her head. "I knew it was you. I knew it!" She says, clenching a fist and shaking it comically. "Why're you two following us!?" The shorthaired one just grins and rubs the back of her head, "Weeeeeell, Jintsuu was worried about leaving you alone with a guy, so we followed you. I wasn't that worried though. I just wanted to practice my sneaking."

     The one apparently called Jintsuu sighs and bops the other on the head lightly. "Yes, Naka, we were worried for you." Her gaze pointedly settles on Will. "But it seems like it was mostly unfounded." Dot Dot Dot. "Mostly."

     And Naka SIGHS AGAIN, before realizing that Will's probably never met these two before. She turns to him and gestures half-unamused to the pair that's been hiding behind wall camo. "Will, these are my sisters, Sendai, and Jintsuu. They've been following us ever since we got here."
William Pauwel     "Uh. Wait, so we WERE bein' followed?" Will blinks, bewildered. Who would stalk them at an amusement park!? "By who? Why?" The answer is... surprising. But also kind of... Strange.

    The concept of ninjas is a foreign one to the uncultured country bumpkin that Will is, after all. A portion of wall just kind of... folds. Rolls away. Somehow they'd made it indistinguishable from normal wall. Will stares at the two girls as their presence is finally revealed.

*Siiiiiiiiiip*

    "O-Oh! Y'all're Naka's sisters," well, that answers that! If Will had a sister, he'd be worried about he guy she was taking out on a WAIT NO THIS IS NOT A DATE. "W-why would you guys be worried? I mean, Naka's the one who ask ME out! To cheer me up." That's the only reason.

Really.

    "A-and how are your worries only MOSTLY unfounded? Jeez," Will sighs into his delicious, chocolatey shake. Chocolate takes all the edge away. But...

Wait.

    "Wait. So if you were followin' us... The things starin' at us at the bottom of the tunnel, that was you? And the thing I saw at the top of THE ARMAGEDDON TOWER, that was you two, too? And the weird sounds my horse was makin' at the Merry-Go-Round? Man." Will shakes his head, somewhere between amused and exasperated. "N' I thought I was goin' crazy."

But... He can't exactly blame a couple of sisters for being worried, right?

"Well uh, it's nice t' meet you two anyway," he says with a grin and a chuckle, "Kind of a strange way t' meet, but it's fine. Y'all want some milkshakes? I'll buy a round!"
Graf Zeppelin      Sendai grins. "That was us." She rubs her chin with a hand, looking thoughtful. "And here I thought I perfected my sneaking skills." She sighs. "Looks like we've got a long way to go." ...Was sneaking the only thing she was worried about? What about her sister!? Apparently not.

     Jintsuu narrowed her eyes at Will, and then averted them. "Regardless of the circumstances, don't get so handsy with our sister, okay?" And here we have the overprotective big sis, exhibit a. Naka groans at this. "Siiiiis! I'm the one who invited him! It's fine!"

     Will offers to buy a round of milkshakes, and Sendai's eyes light up. "Really? Alright I'll-" Clap, Naka gets up and covers Sendai's mouth. "Nooooononono! You're going to go away!" The middle sister resigns herself to things and nods. "Okay. ...As long as you're safe, Naka." There's a long pause, and then... she drags Sendai off, the oldest sister complaining about wanting to practice more.

     ...Colorful pair.

     Naka settles back down into her seat and sighs heavily. "Sheesh! I'm not a kid! I can hang out with a guy!" She blows a strand of hair out of her face. "And besides, it's not like this is a date!" Even though it basically was one, you dorks.

     Was there anything left to do? The light cruiser has a glance about, everything looking familiar now. "I....I think we're done here." She comes to realize after a second's thought. "...Well!" She smiles brightly and looks at Will. "How do you feel now, Sir William of the Southeastern Paw of The Northwest~?"

     THAT NAME?
William Pauwel     Well, it's not like Will actually REALIZED what he was picking up. Just... When you make your living plumbing the depths of ancient ruins that are festooned with traps, terrible monsters and other similarly awful things, you learn how to pick up... subtle hints that something might be wrong. Hints like a horse that sounds like it could be possessed.

Not that that particular horse WASN'T possessed. Nightmare Binding Ritual, and all.

    "H-handsy?" Will flushes. He starts blushing again, burning all the way from his neck to his ears. When did he get handsy!? M-maybe at the Tunnel, but Naka was getting pretty hands-on, too! That sort of thing happens when you're SCARED SHITLESS.

Fortunately, before Will can clarify, Naka manages to get her more reasonable sister to haul the one with the scarf away. Forcibly. With her hand over Sendai's mouth.

These sisters must be pretty close! Aw.

    "Y-yeah, it's not like--" It totally is a date, though. No matter how much either of them want to convince themselves otherwise. Will shakes his head. "So do they... normally do things like that? Stalk you, I mean."

    They must be worse than some of Naka-chan's fans! And Idol-Stalkers can get pretty awful. Nothing she can't deal with, though, considering her awesome, horror-flinging judo skills.

    Alas, though, it seems that their adventure at the park has come to an end. Will casts a long glance over across the ridescape, admiring the distant screams of fresh meat on the DEATHCOASTER. "...Yeah. That was... That was a lot of fun. Even the tunnel at the end, but I'm definitely not doing that one again."

Until he can put somebody ELSE through it, at least.

...Wait.

    "W-wait," Will stares at Naka like she'd sprung another head, "Sir William of the who and what now?" Blink. Blink. Siiiiip. "Well, I'm feelin' pretty good, Dame Naka of Yonder Sunlit Harbor," he says with a sheepish chuckle, "...Thanks again, this really helped cheer me up."

...Though it'd be nice if Yuudachi were even a little like the Destroyer Princess.

Ah well, Naka makes up for it.
Graf Zeppelin      Naka giggled as Will played along with the stupid name she'd come up with since last time, and stood up, bowing dramatically. "You are most welcome~" Then she straightens. "Ahhh about those two, noooot really? I don't think so anyway. Hmmm..." She looks up in thought.

     Either that's true, or she just hasn't caught them like today.

     Oh well.

     "I'm glad you're feeling better though. A happy Will is much better than a sad Will." And as her final gift for the day, she walked around to where he was sitting, and leaned over.

     And planted a kiss on his cheek.

     "Don't get so sad anymore. Okay? I like you better when you're being an idiot." It's a good thing Jintsuu and Sendai left, or Will might have been in the middle of being strangled right now.

     And with that, Naka playfully skips away. "Alright, I've got to get back to Hikari! Seeya later, Will!" The girl saluted with a wink, then turned and ran off, leaving him to his potential stupor.

     Really.

     It wasn't a date at all.
William Pauwel Well. That was a good day, wasn't it? A nice full day of riding rides, experiencing mortal terror, and all kinds of other things that don't involve dwelling on the inevitability of death. And what's more, at the end of it, he even got a...

A...

...

    Will places his empty milkshake glass on the table and digs around on his person for an old, beat up hat. Its leather must be at least a couple decades old. Will straightens up, placing the hat on top of his head, and... trails his finger over his cheek. There's still a mark on it, but you can't even tell after a second because it's been swallowed up by a brilliant red wave.

Will squirms, tugging his hat down over his SCANDALOUSLY BLUSHING FACE. Something bubbles up in his chest, producing a distinctively unmanly noise from somewhere in his throat. He buries his face between his hands and his face.

IT WASN'T A DATE. IT REALLY WASN'T A DATE.

Or... Or was it... a date?

...

Will has crashed and needs to restart.