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Arkae Zellar Stop 1: The Bar that you can only get to by warpgate, I forget the name, and nobody really cares enough for me to go look and see what it is.

This is the assembly point at least in part because nobody has to get here by foot. Arkae has a valuable teleportation wand - one potent enough to move entire armies across the entire span of the multiverse - that she is going to spend all the charges on moving the group around without anyone ever so much as having to walk through a door, and nobody's going to convince her otherwise.

She's also abusing Concord resources so that nobody has to worry about settling tabs or anything before they move on. Convenient!

Arkae's waiting with a small basket of things that might be cheese sticks (but don't quite look right) and a few beers already on the table.

She's also got a whole sheaf of printouts - information about dining and carousing destinations throughout the multiverse, along with teleportation coordinates. Some of the spots look familiar, some of them look fancy or run-down or cozy... while some of them just look... strange.
Katt Katt was all in favour of a wide-ranging bar crawl for a couple reasons.

One, she likes having fun.

Two, she hasn't done it before.

And three, she's not paying for it. At least not right now. She might have to find something later, but that is a problem for Future Katt, and Future Katt can take care of herself. What has Future Katt ever done for Present Katt? Nothing, that's what.

Katt strolls into the bar, staff on her shoulder (good luck getting her to leave it behind, though she's at least angled it so it's not likely to hit anybody) and almost immediately locates Arkae. It's not like she's hard to find.

She heads over immediately and seats herself across from Arkae. "Hey! - Wow, you came prepared. I don't even have a map!" Katt cranes her head around to look at the printouts; while she does this she takes one of the not-quite-cheese-sticks and bites into it without really looking at it.
Arkae Zellar It's very crunchy, and doesn't seem to have any cheese in it.
Guzma Guzma's been busy. Busy with what? Preparing some heists and leading his guys. They've been painting the bus and bus stop they stole, marking it with their colors, but that means, today, Guzma gets a vacation.

The thug's brought Plumeria (which means Tupp, Rapp, and Zipp are in charge back at home, oh no), the two looking absolutely out of place basically Anywhere Civilized. Luckily, it's a bar crawl! It's time to get wild with it!

As they join at the table, Guzma and Plumeria take a seat, Guzma leaning back in his chair. He orders a water. Plumeria drinks beer with the others, though.

"Big bad Guzma's here! First time meeting you face to face. We ready to party?"

Plumeria grabs a crunchy stick, bites it, and then after a few moments, enjoying it but confused, asks the big question. "What the heck is this?"
Katt Crunch.

Katt isn't sure what she just bit into, but it wasn't what she expected (that is, cheese). She looks at the remainder of it, shrugs, and finishes the stick. It didn't taste awful so it probably won't kill her.

Katt has never met either Guzma or Plumeria before, and so she eyes both before she grins. "Nice glasses," she says. It probably isn't sarcastic.
Arkae Zellar "Fried giant spider leg," says Arkae happily, grabbing another one.

*CRUNCH, CRUNCH*

"They're good, aren't they? They really keep that arachnid taste, some places they just overwhelm it with fried breading or grease."
Guzma "Thanks. They're part of my bling, y'know?" Guzma says in response to Katt, before Arkae explains what the bite is.

Plumeria finishes her bite of crunchy stick still in her mouth, places the rest in a napkin, hurls the napkin at the closest trashcan, and then pushes the basket away without a word. Guzma is the one looking more visibly disgusted, but is in the middle of drinking water to speak.

This is what happens when you train giant bugs.

Plumeria, immediately wanting something to cleanse the taste, flags down a waiter. "Hey, yo! Tastiest and spiciest appetizer you have that isn't some sort of bug or lizard, and bring lots of it!"
Katt "Bling?" Katt asks Guzma, before Arkae explains - and Katt has already finished her spider stick by this point.

She immediately regrets it. "Gah! That's Creeping Clan food! Warn someone before you leave that out on the table!!" She practically recoils, her chair sliding a couple inches back as she pushes herself away from the table. "Hrp... if it makes me sick it's your fault!"

Katt fully intends to steal something off Plumeria's plate now instead, to balance it out. And to wipe out the spider.
Arkae Zellar Arkae doesn't comment on the reaction. Giant spider legs are an acquired taste.

"So it looks like we're all here," she says once people are done being disgusted, nodding to those assembled as well as those who will have 'been here all along' when they jump into the next scene. "My name's Arkae, nice to meet you Guzma and company... Katt, you I already know."

She reaches over and picks up the wand and the sheaf of papers. The one on top looks a bit dive-y. "We're gonna get this started right away, since while this place is nice, I'm sure everyone is really familiar with it by now and we want to get to new places. Order whatever looks good, eat, drink, be merry, repeat!"
Sumiko Mikoto finally arrives, just enough to maybe be called fashionably late.  Or just regular late, it's hard to tell with these timings.  Sitting down she holds up a finger for mead or ale, something different than the crappy beer she can get in her homeworld.  Looking back towards the rest of the table, she looks weirdly at them for a moment.  

Did something happen?  Who knows, but she grabs one of the spider legs in the basket and starts munching on it.  Taking a few moments to savor the taste and then comment.  "Kind of like Lobster, but the taste isn't the same."

Munch munch, "I'll take my own basket of these too!" she tells the waiter.
Katt Katt has memories... memories of a travelling chef who was said to be very good, but when actually asked to serve something to the staff in the Coliseum, produced some vile-smelling dish made primarily out of roaches.

It's really more of a nightmare. She gives Mikoto an incredulous look as she's actually *eating* them; she expects it from Arkae, but not from Mikoto.

Once she's done being all dramatic about it, Katt does introduce herself: "Yup! I've met Arkae of course, but for everyone else: I'm Katt! Champion gladiator - not that that matters today." Pause. "Unless we get into a bar fight. Can we get into a bar fight? Just one, eventually."

Katt cranes around to look at the papers again. "That one looks good," she agrees.
Arkae Zellar "Alright, so just all make sure everyone's around the same table here, I just need to focus, wave the wand, and-"

KA-ZAP

STOP 2: THE 7TH HEAVEN - https://imgur.com/a/N6IxINS

The athletic woman at the bar does a double take as five (or more) people teleport in. "What in the Lifestream-" she says, cutting off what sounds like a curse. "What are-"

"Hi, we heard you do a drink called, um..." Arkae says, glancing at her sheaf of papers. "May-koh eyed soldier boy?"

"... It's maa-koh, and... fine, a round of those, coming right up," says the bartender, deciding to just roll with it as she starts mixing drinks, hoping they'll go away before the Concord group figures out that they're literally standing on top of a Watch affiliated base.
Sumiko "Aw man, I wanted my mystery fried food and the outdated drink.  Wait, Maa-koh?  Sure, whatever, that sounds different than what I am normally used to.  Do you have any fried foods?  Really badly fried foods at that, something extremely and westernly unhealthy?" She asks the bartender.

"Oh right, I'm Mikoto Shimizu, Magical Girl of Envy," She says and gives Katt a look back, "What?" she asks, confused at the stare.

"So is it random, or do you just have a list of all of the places we're heading to?"
Arkae Zellar "Sorry, just drinks, unless you want me to heat up a can of soup in the staff microwave or something," says the bartender, hoping the lack of food will get them to leave faster.

"I've got a list," says Arkae, holding up the sheaf of papers. "I've tried to pick out an order that'll have us mixing between high tech, low tech, fancy and dive-bar-ish, so on and so forth. Though I could always just shuffle and do random, or if anyone has a suggestion I can put that in the order..."

She checks the next sheet in her stack. "Oh, and the next one has food. It's actually a restaurant with a bar, so there's lots of unhealthy 'western' options."
Katt "I don't know how you can actually eat bug," Katt says. "I mean, it's bugs! Bugs are..." She shudders, the fur on her ears momentarily fluffing up from goosebumps. "I'll stick to actual food. But not here, apparently."

She points at Arkae instead. "I want one of what she's having," which at least guarantees she's likely to get one of those soldier boy drinks. Even if she has no idea what's in it... "There's no bug juice in those, right?" she asks.
Guzma Plumeria does not get her spicy food. Sadness. When they appear at the 7th Heaven, she orders something tasty and standard, while Guzma takes a few looks at the bartender, listens to her, considers attitude, and then considers how well he knows when people don't want him there. Which is 'very well'.

He doesn't drink anyways, so he just asides to Arkae. "I think this chick wants us out. Let's get our drinks and go somewhere more fun, rather than some hole that can't respect real money."

And then he answers Katt. "Bling, y'know, my gold, my fancy wear, the show that I'm a big bad boss. Y'diggin me?"
Sumiko "That was a bug?  Huh.  Pretty tasty for one.  I mean, don't you eat lobster?  Lobsters are BASICALLY bugs.  Seriously, open your pallet up and broaden your horizons."

Mikoto takes a side-eye at the bartender.  "Wow, rude.  This drink better be worth it or I'm leaving a bad review." She says, turning back towards Arkae, "Nah, I was just curious!  The next one having bad for you food is fine by me."

She looks towards Guzma, "Nah, she's probably just mad that she has to work.  Wage slaves are like that."
Arkae Zellar "Alright, fine," says Arkae. They get their drinks and go.

They're good drinks, though. Probably the only good thing about this stop. The group goes on, with the hope that they'll make it up with the rest of the crawl...

KA-ZAP

STOP 3: THE BIG BANG BURGER BAR

"Ah, yes," says the maitre'd, *entirely* unfazed by the group teleporting right in front of them. "If your whole group is assembled, I'll show you to your seats, and the universe will begin shortly."

In stark contrast to the 7th Heaven, this restaurant-bar is spacious, futuristic, and has large windows that are laid out so as to give every seat in the house a stellar view...

... of nothing. There's just stark blackness out there.
Katt "I'll eat a lot of stuff! Just not spider." Katt is stubborn, on this point at least. "You order something better than spider and I'll try it, though, for sure. And lobster? Uh - yeah, I've had lobster." The question threw her a little. "It's not the same."

Katt looks blankly at Guzma for a couple moments - and then she nods, having gotten it. "Right! Okay. I just didn't know that word. It's important to show off what you've got. I mean, look at me," she says, tapping the champion's belt she wears, though it's up higher than most belts. "And the rings." Bicep rings, that is; she doesn't have any on her fingers.

The drink, she has to admit, is pretty good. Before they go to...

"Wait," she says, "didn't it begin already? I mean, we came from it."
Sumiko Mikoto gives Katt another sideways look, "You said it was a bug, not spider.  Spiders are not bugs, they're arachnids.  Totally different.  Also, uh...you DO know what Lobsters eat right?  Most bugs would be better by comparison.  Lobsters are similar, AND they're bottom feeders and carrion eaters."

Mikoto finishes her drink and then leaves a bad review on YELP anyway.  'No food, dirty, bartender was rude, drinks were overpriced.'

Arriving at THE BIG BANG BURGER BAR, Mikoto is already looking impressed.  Spacious, futuristic, and very very dark.  Huh, is this one of those theme bars?  Like they do a 'big bang' for your order?  That'll be fun.  

She orders the drink special, a burger with onion rings AND fried cheese sticks.
Arkae Zellar "Yes, miss, it will have begun in a few moments, at which time you will have begun eating an excellent set of appetizers and started on a round of drinks, and at the conclusion of the meal you will have been so impressed that you will have been decided to put in the reservation for the meal that you have just arrived for."

The group's lead to a table. There's a large drink list and a decent menu - though what shows up to take their order is a talking cow.

Does Mikoto still order the burger?
Sumiko Yes.  Yes, she does.

She might regret this later, but that's for future Mikoto to deal with.

Right now Mikoto is trying to figure out how she's going to order something in the future for the past.
Katt Katt clearly does not get it. "...oh," she says. "But, no, it has to be here, right? Or... I guess this place could be just outside it?" Katt is feeling a little lost about the concept of time travel, space travel, and outside the universe, so she just gives it up as someone else's problem. "I don't really make reservations though."

"Why would I know what a lobster eats? I'm not a fisherman. I don't need to catch them. And spiders are definitely bugs. Arkae, back me up here." Katt looks over her shoulder at Arkae, catches sight of the cow, seems to think little of it and turns back.

Katt also orders a burger. Why not? It seems like the thing to do. Also, beer. But better beer than usual.
Arkae Zellar The burgers that are served a few minutes later are among the best that the group has ever eaten, but curiously, the talking cow does not show up again.

She probably just went off shift.

"So what did they mean by the universe-" Arkae starts to say.

And then the universe begins. There is no sound at first, since there is literally nothing outside the windows of the restaurant. But then there is, quite literally, a big bang.

Starstuff, all expanding out from a single impossibly compressed point. Space dust - coalescing, accreting, becoming stars and planets and comets and unexplained, unencountered and unknown cosmic phenomena. New elements are formed, in rapid succession, and continue to be formed amidst the rapidly expanding cloud of, well, everything.

Sometime during all of that, everyone's drinks have been refilled. The service here is pretty good.
Sumiko "Ugh," Mikoto says towards Katt, willful ignorance.

Mikoto does not care that the cow does not come back, cows, even if they talk, are cows.  Of course, she likely just went off duty.  Munching on the burger and fried foods, as well as the fancy drink she watches the Universe becomes created.

"Huh.  You know I expected it to be more explosive...Oh hey, my drink is refilled.  This is a nice place."
Katt Katt isn't willfully ignorant, she's just had better things to do with her life than learn about lobster!

Also she's kind of thick sometimes, but that's a whole different problem.

"Oh!" Katt is extreme distracted by the explosion going on outside the window. It's not something you see every day - in fact, by definition, it's something you see no days unless you cheat by going somewhere like this. "That's pretty explosive, isn't it? I mean, it's not loud, but it's pretty ... expansive."

Katt has also been drinking pretty steadily, even if this is only place two. The refill is appreciated.
Arkae Zellar "Now, the restaurant at the *end* of the universe," says one of the people at the next table. "They make more of a production out of that."

The speaker appears to be some sort of hyperintelligent shade of the color blue. How and why they're speaking, sitting, and enjoying a burger defies description.

"Eh, I don't know if we want to wait around for the end," says Arkae. She looks through her sheaf of papers, picking out the next destination...
Sumiko "That's not...really an explosion," Mikoto says, as a teenager who knows too much about a lot of things.  Taking another sip and scarfing down her burger.

This is, of course, distracted by the arrival of a hyperintelligent color.  Mikoto isn't sure what to make out of this, besides slowly reaching for her drink, and starting to drink it more so that her brain can comprehend what is being put in front of it.  

"At least it's not purple."
Katt "It's explode-ish." Katt is getting stubborn again about things she doesn't really know about. "They couldn't call it a bang if it wasn't. But I guess the good part's over now, it's just kind of drifting bigger now." Though there are a lot of sparkles and clouds in there... the creation of stars and nebulas, not that Katt knows the terms.

Katt looks at the shade of blue when Mikoto does. She spends a few moments doing so. Her eyes slowly cross; her ears flatten down against the sides of her head.

"Yeah... That needs a drink," she agrees with Makoto, chugging what she has left in the beer glass. "Hey, Arkae! What's the next pick, anyway?"
Arkae Zellar "Purple?! I beg your pardon!" says the blue, taking offense. "How dare you!"

"Annnd that sounds like our cue," says Arkae, grabbing the wand.

KA-ZAP

STOP 4: The Winchester

There's nobody inside, and the doors are locked.

"Oh, looks like there's zombies going on," says Arkae casually, looking out of a window. "Well, we can make ourselves drinks and wait for this to all blow over, or we can just try the next stop."
Sumiko ACHIEVEMENT GET: Piss off a concept.

Mikoto looks at a darkened bar.  Frowning at this, she has watched Train to Busan, she knows how zombie horror movies go.  Oh well, probably won't come to bite them on the butt.  She peeks out a window just to see for herself and then walks towards the bar.  

"Well, assuming no loud sounds or that there aren't any zombies in here already.  Oh and that one of us isn't an asshole who would sacrifice everyone to save their own asses."
Katt Katt managed to bring the remaining quarter of her burger with her, and is busily finishing it up since she did not steal the plate to put it down on and she doesn't trust any plate in a place like this.

She looks alert when Arkae says 'zombies'. "Do you think we can fight them from in here? I mean, just a few," Katt says, heading over to the window to look out. Her tail lashes as she peeks outside. "Zombies aren't very tough but I don't really want to do it, like, all night or anything..."

Katt looks at Mikoto, offended. "I know I wouldn't ever do anything like that! I mean, really."
Arkae Zellar It looks like a whole zombie apocalypse out there.

"... Yeah, no offense, I'm thinking a group like us doesn't want to put the asshole test to the... test. You know what I mean."

She holds up the wand. "Not when we can just-"

KA-ZAP

STOP 5: THE SIX PINT INN - https://i.imgur.com/FpdfQAr.jpg

The group of arriving elites don't look at all out of place here, among the washed-up platformer mascot, the old space marine, and the man whose skin texture doesn't seem to be properly loaded.

"This place has mostly just drinks mixed with root beer, but it's supposed to be the best root beer ever," comments Arkae as she takes a seat. "Like, they say the owner used to have to literally throw them at people to keep up with the demand."
Sumiko "Oh well, that's not good.." Mikoto looks dully at Katt, and then towards Arkae.  To which she nods to because Arkae knows exactly what would happen if they needed to fight for their individual survivals.  It means two-thirds of the party would be zombie food.

"Ok this is...better..." She says, unsure.  Though as the deal with the root beer is explained, she shrugs.  "Alright, that sounds fair.  I'll take a root beer," She waves at the keep.  

"Least no zombies are here, or angry sentient hyperintelligent colors."
Katt Katt steps away from the window, disappointed. That's too many zombies for her to fight. She was hoping for something, but not to spend the rest of her life at it. She is less familiar with zombie tropes, apparently. To her, zombies are random encounters.

This place at least looks more alive. "Root beer?" Katt asks. "Which root?" Because she has not yet experienced the joy of root beer soda. "I mean, I'll take one anyway, if it's good. And yeah, that colour was pretty weird. How does it drink the beer? Does it just turn it blue and then sit on it or something?"
Arkae Zellar Three mugs of root beer are slid down the bar counter, precisely coming to a stop in front of each of them.

"If you need food, we do have our staff chef here," says the wheelchair-bound spooky bartender. "Though he'll need just a minute or two in order to get the minigame started up."

The root beer is very good.

"Also, please do not mention the z-word, we have a patron who has had some... unfortunate encounters, and we'd rather not set him off."
Sumiko Mikoto takes a sip and makes a surprised face.  "Wow, I didn't think I'd like it.  This is very good!" Another sip as she looks towards the Bartender.  "Mini-game eh?  I could be down for something to munch on.  Got fried pickles?" she asks.

"Oh right, no Z-word, gotcha," she says, understanding.  "Don't say lich around me." She says for no reason what so ever.
Katt Katt catches the root beer, not that she needs to - it was about to stop anyway. Then she takes a big swig of it.

Her expression is comedic as Katt experiences carbonation for the first time, and she hastily swallows - and then sneezes. "Gah! It tingles! ...I kind of like it, though. I just wasn't expecting it!"

No z-word? "Oh, you mean - " wait, DON'T say it " - um, them. Right! Got it! No Z-words here, I promise. Anyway, I already ate so I'm good."
Arkae Zellar "Fried pickles, coming up!" calls a man's voice from another room.

There's a series of sounds of what could be someone punching individually launched pickles into a fryer.

"Heh... never had root beer before, I take it. That round's on the house, then," says the bartender.

He wheels himself down the bar, closer to them. "So what's your story? People usually only show up here for one reason - because they have nowhere else to go. Heh heh."
Sumiko Mikoto lifts the drink to the tender who just gave them a free one.  Taking another mouthful of the liquid.  "Mikoto and root beer aren't exactly common where I am from, it's usually a drink in other countries."

She takes another gulp, "Oh we're just doing a multiversal tour of bars," A pause, "Hey Arkae, is this the last place on the list?" she asks, curious, "Otherwise, it's not because we don't have anywhere else to go." a beat, and then she puts a good review of the place on Yelp.
Katt leans over to see if she can catch a look at the pickle frying, but only for a moment - she's not *that* interested.

"Thanks!" Katt says. "Nope, we don't have it at home, at least not like this. We make beer out of a lot of things, but not whatever root does this. I'm Katt, I'm a gladiator, but yeah, we're on a bar crawl! We can't be that close to done yet because we're not actually drunk, or at least I'm not, but we thought we'd drop in. By which I mean she thought we'd drop in, because she's planning." Katt nods toward Arkae.

This isn't how drunk Katt talks. This is just how Katt is all the time.

"It's not a bad place, though."
Arkae Zellar Yep, there's a shirtless man punching flying pickles into the deep fryer.

*ding*

And now he's done. "Order up!" The pickles taste great because he punched them really well and got a good score on the minigame. Don't question it.

"No, there's still a few places..." says Arkae as the fried pickles are delivered.

"Well then. My apologies for assuming," says the bartender. "Just remember, the Six Pint Inn will be waiting for you... however your game happens to end."
Sumiko Oh man, these fried pickles are /amazing/. Happy with her order, and rootbeer, she has a grin on her face as she eats.  Though the last part of that statement gets an eye from her.  

"I am pretty sure you don't want me here if it ends badly for me," She says, cryptically.  "Call it a hunch."

Moving past that, "Really good pickles."
Arkae Zellar Goodbyes are said.

KA-ZAP happens.

There's a stretch of otherwise mundane bar visits on the multiversal crawl, each punctuated with another KA-ZAP. Fantasy taverns. Spacer dive bars. Modern suburban bars where spiky-haired kids make prank calls. Tiny corner street bars that would be entirely unremarkable save for one or two drinks that 'just have to be tried once'.

KA-ZAP, KA-ZAP, KA-ZAP...
Sumiko Mikoto has a drink all along the way after eating her pickles.  She has a large goblet of mead at the Fantasy Taverns.  Whatever they call black holes at the spacer dives.  Various drinks at the suburbian bars, including something called a 'Flaming Moe'.  

Several 'have to be tried drinks' later, she's more than a little drink.
Katt Katt attempts to steal one of the fried pickles when Mikoto is distracted. She only goes for one, at least, and she only tries once if it doesn't work out. But hey, if they're being recommended, she can't skip them!

And then travel happens.

Katt is the kind of person who has to try everything once, every time they go somewhere new.

Katt is also a bit of a lightweight, which is not that surprising because she's actually on the small side, even if she doesn't act it.

The net result is as the night goes on, Katt gets noticably more... let's say 'energetic' in her carousing, and also rather inebriated. At least she doesn't start any bar fights, though she might be waiting for one to break out so she can join it.
Arkae Zellar "Okay. O-okay..."

Arkae has dropped most of her papers by this point, but she's holding onto one last one.

"Got... one charge left in the wand, I think. Heh. One charge. One charge attack, POW! Hah. Um..."

She holds up the paper. "Right. So. Last spot. Old favorite from my adventuring days. Port Peril, place called... the Formidably Maid. Sailor drinks. Maybe some pirates. We haven't had pirate drinks yet. Pirate drinks."

She sways on her feet, and holds up the wand. "All ready?"
Sumiko Mikoto, who is quite drunk, spins in her chair once.  Wooooo.

Looking up as Arkae says she has one more place to go, belches loudly and nearly falls back against the bar.  She giggles at something stupid, and then stands up, and nearly falls over.  

"Alright...alright...one more!"
Katt Katt has held onto her staff. She doesn't lose that staff for anything.

"There's a place called PORT PERIL?" Katt considers this for a moment, in the bleary way of the decidedly drunk. "Why haven't I been there before? And I have to have a pirate drink! I'm from a city called Coursair! That makes me an honorary pirate, right?"

She hops to her feet, posing dramatically, one foot up on a chair and her finger bravely thrust forward. "To the Formidably Maid!!"
Arkae Zellar "Alright, alright, here we go!"

KA-ZAP

"... Huh, is it working?"

Arkae repeats the motion. "No ka-zap..."

And then she notices something. She's talking to an empty table. "Oh, everyone else is gone..."

"... I forgot to, heh, include me in the spell... oops. Everyone's in the pirate bar, and I'm not there. Well, I'll just wave the wand again..."

She does so.

"No ka-zap... oh, right, it's out of charges."

"Heh."

"Well, um... I guess I'll just have to catch up..."

"... Everyone should be fine... I mean, what trouble could they possibly get into at a pirate bar?"

TO BE CONTINUED