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Owner Pose
Sylvi Servant, Archer.
A nameless man who insists on his skill with a bow, while using a surprising amount of swords. Suspect.

The Data Sea.
White blocked zones made of dull voxels sit interconnecting place to place inside a vast dyson sphere of highly textured circuitry, the air a haze of blue with floating green numbers or golden links of a shattered chain. At 'ground' level, the blue-and-green-and-gold roils more densely, like breeze-swept water that laps against barely-visible barriers of clear blue light at the edge of the voxellated path.

Archer runs along this white path. Has been running along the path. It feels like minutes, meters, years, miles, lifetimes, leagues, and yet here he is: At the end of things.

He opens the door that hangs in space. It is labelled: DUMP. An irregular door, selected by an irregular Servant. Something that didn't exist before the Moon Cell's previous master's defeat and the unseatment of her minions.

He opened the door, and disappeared.

>Program Begin
>Execute GloriousComebackRevivalSpecial.moon

The man who would answer to EMIYA understands his folly the second he hears the words that pipe in as he tumbles through space. Down, down, down, towards a massive pile of dirty laundry that is slowly but steadily added too, discarded shirts and pants and all manner of things. Up above, cubed chutes shutter open and clothes like mouths belching unwashed socks through the long tumble down into the barely-lit mountain.

"Did you really live that whole life, and come to this place, and subject yourself to me? Do you really love me that much? Love me enought for--"

"One--"
"--More Episode of--"
"BB Channel?"

--MEANWHILE...--

Seifer Almasy is minding his own business. He does this by reading social media, and writing paper notes about which students he needs to beat up later. The list is good. The list is ordered. Once he had the person on the recieving end of the beating sign off that they recieved the beating afterward, he gained so much certainty that the beatings were taken care of.

The List helped keep him sane, especially since he would constantly get his DMs blown up by--

--MEANWHILE...--

Doctor Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, understands he has fucked up, and knows it is Shirou Emiya's fault.

--MEANWHILE...--

Majima Goro is eating lunch at a Yakitori cart. He is none the wiser, but it will be Seifer Almasy's fault.
Sylvi In a Japanese-style classroom with absolutely far-too-small-for-four-grown-men chairs and desks that they have been hammed in, Archer and Seifer Almasy sit at the front of the class, staring into a white board that has had Rude Things scribbled onto it, alternating with extremely complex math. It's about 70% horny, 30% math. The 'teacher's podium' has a strange and rainbowed cube object that radiates with some extremely queer informative power -- the promise that you'd absolutely KNOW something, were you to lay your hand on it and study it -- and it floats in the air like a key item.

Behind the podium is a 'cute devil'-type character with the large tracts of land only worn proudly by characters drawn by porn doujin artists somehow jammed into a black woolen winter sweater, with a knee length royal blue skirt and black leggings ending in long heels that no teacher would wear in a classroom. Long purple hair spills down past her skirt, affixed with a large red bow.

She hoverhands the rainbow box.

"Now, I've gathered the Student Council for the matter of this Crystallized Lore. It has aaaaaaaaaall of the secrets of the Moon Cell-" She coughs into a fist cutely, barely hiding her halting 'probably' slipped in there. "- but I can ooooonly give it to one of you. See? This cute Sensei-BB will let you two decide. Or--"

The back of the classroom falls away, and the front. The walls fall away, leaving nothing but blackest void all around. Just the floor, the desks, the podium, BB, and the Crystallized Lore.

"Or you can fight me for it. See? The helpful BB will even summon some Support Units! Poof! I'm so great!"

Majima and Strange had been there the whole time, but had been on 'mute'. They begin at desks that just have +SUPPORT in yellow-green stamped into them, a desk two back and diagonal from their respective friend.

"So, kings, what'll it be? A helpful lesson from me, BB? Or will you work out your problems by touching tips?"

She taps her index fingers together and winks while sticking out her tongue. "I'd love to see that too!"
Seifer Almasy      Seifer Almasy is utterly convinced that the Moon Cell fucks with him.

     About ten percent of the time, he wakes up in the middle of the night to go get a drink of water, and the sink's moved ten feet. About five percent of the time, he goes to hit the bathroom, and it's on the wrong side of the hallway. About one percent of the time he hits up his media room and the TV's on the wrong side. For a while, he thought he was just losing his mind - an understandable trait of someone with permanent active sliding animenesia - but eventually he started taking pictures of the place on his phone, and that proved it to him.

     Still, he just chalked it up to the Moon Cell moving around randomly, until recently. Tamamo's never reported anything like that. Nero and Nobunaga have never commented on it. Archer's never said as much, though the day Seifer trusted Archer was the day Seifer lost his damn mind completely.

     This pretty much seals it.

     He's been reading about a new version of the Sorceress's Knight on a media site when his terminal goes static.

     "What the-"

     And then he's here.

     In a classroom.

% In front of a high-tier waifu holding a very desirable item.

     There's a blink.

     Another blink.

     "I KNEW THE MOON WAS SCREWING WITH ME!"

     He points at BB.

     "EVEN IF THAT THING WASN'T UP FOR GRABS I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT JUST FOR THAT! BUT ALSO THAT THING IS UP FOR GRABS! AND I WANT IT!"

     Seifer snaps his fingers. "MAJIMA, HELP ME OUT!"
Majima Goro Majima *was* eating yakitori, from a streetside vendor in Kamurocho. It was a pretty calm night, despite literally everything happening. He's just finishing up around the moment that a group of four men in cheap suits swagger up to him.
"Shit, it's Majima! Make him disappear, boys!"
Majima slowly draws his knife, arching his back as he begins to laugh loudly, almost howling up towards the moon floating peacefully over the world...

And then, just like that, he is no longer present. There is a distinct absence of Goro Majima on the street. Four men in cheap suits look amongst each other, one of whom has very excitedly pulled out an intensely poor quality taser, which sparks sadly into the quiet night air.
"...holy *shit*, Boss."
"...well, I fuckin told you, man! Yeah, sure, these Elite fucks are pretty strong, but that doesn't mean you don't fuckin' try! Drinks are on me! We're goin' out for hostesses!"

And then, Majima is in a classroom. There is a wide-eyed moment of surprise, something mouthed, and then a slow explanation that the moon is, in fact, bluh, bluh, a huge bitch. There is a muted cackle, before he looks directly at Seifer.

"Need a hand from... Goro Majima?!"
Doctor Strange      The Sorcerer Supreme was in the middle of a headstart on spring cleaning. Not for the Sanctum--that's always in good shape, because you never know when someone will come calling. Just for his room in particular, which was in need of a good rearranging. Wong had gotten him a pretty choice LP for Christmas, and he had just about to set the needle to vinyl...

     "God..." Strange mutters to himself On Mute, his hand still in position. He knows whose fault this is. But that's not what's really annoying him, in this precise, particular moment.

     Even were he just tall and lanky, the desk would be uncomfortable. Now that he's actually got the kind of 'wiry martial artist' build, it progresses into 'annoyingly so.' The back of it digs into his lower back no matter how he adjusts his posture or the red tee which reads in gold font, TALKING HEADS 77.

     Ratty tennis shoes scuff against the floor as he tries, before finally... "Okay, you know what? Sue me. You break the rules all the time." He might still be muted, but as a usurper he's sure she's aware of what was said even if Archer, Majima and Seifer weren't. He bends space to make the desk bigger. That's better.

     "Archer," he says. Off Mute. "You know what it is. I know what it is. And we both know that 'ease of use' is one of the worst...." A furrowing of his brow as an annoyed glance is cast towards BB. "...design features for something as dangerous as it is. So let's be fight idiots for a minute."

     He pauses. Glances over at Majima and Seifer. "No offense."
Archer EMIYA Nothing ever goes right on these sorts of missions. Not ever. Ever never ever. Deep in his (conceptual) broken glass heart, he knew things were going to go horribly wrong. Why wouldn't they. Even still, he's a bit bewildered as the file executes itself, only to be dumped into a not so conceptual pile of laundry and knee socks. If it were conceptual, it'd probably be a look into the owner's deprived mind. Unfortunately one does not need to look into their mind to see how deprived they are. They're horny on main.

In the classroom, Archer is surprisingly compliant. Despite the desks being way too small to support his massive muscle body, he cheats his way into comfort by leaning the seat back and propping his feet up. It's nostalgic. Minus the horny ramblings.

"I always suspected that God was a woman, and I guess this sort of proves it in a weird way."

BB explains the crystallized lore. The thing he is most likely after. He doesn't openly express interest though,rather than he turns to BB, before turning to Seifer and the rest.

"Sadly, and you probably already know this, but I'm more of a hands-on learner. So, 'Kings', help you deal with your internet troll, and you help me destroy her C Drive? Good enough for you?"
Seifer Almasy      "OK," Seifer hesitates, "Now when you say 'destroy her C Drive'..."
Doctor Strange      Archer will get no argument from Strange. And Strange is certain, based on their enthusiasm, that--

     "Don't," Strange cautions Seifer. "Don't tempt such forces."
Majima Goro     Majima's just leaning back in the chair for now. He's somehow managed to put his feet up on the desk, and somehow look relaxed and comfortable.

SUBSTORY START - BB Kings
Seifer Almasy      "He said it!" Seifer points at Archer, "I'm just makin' sure we're all on the same page!"
Sylvi BB-sensei-sama-chan beams at the class, especially as Majima delights her by really getting into it. She claps for his entrance speech, like a cheerful children-minder, a cherubic smile. "I love it when my cute students really get into character!"

Stephen Strange expands his desk, and as he does, the desks about him shrink proportionally, so by the time he's done, he looks like a giant, awkwardly misplaced now in space rather than dimensions. At least he's comfortable!

Seifer points at her and makes declarations. "Oh, my dear sweet king, don't you know? You're behind on your grinding! Before you wear the crown, you'll have to make sure to catch up okayyyyyy?"

She winks at him.

The void gives way to a rolling grassy field, darkened. The classroom sit anachronistic near the entrance to a spooky forest. The full moon has a jack-o-lantern face on it.

"You missed the HALLOWEEN event, so I'll catch you up right now, okay?"

She claps, as Archer says a Bad Line. It makes BB frown deeply.

"They're not C drives, you blind dummy. They're G-drives at least." She growls, before lifting her hands, pointing them meaningfully at the group, and disappearing in a flash of Cutscene Sparks.

From the sky, a point of light appears. A massive BB walks in, like the background is just a green screen set she can bumble around in, plucks a star from the sky, and puuuuuushes it down onto the space of the classroom.

When it grows close, it turns out to not be a star, but a large Egyptian pyramid.

Falling.

Point down.

On the classroom.

Instead of the roar of a falling object, though, it's just BB's mouth sounds going 'bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrbbrbrbrbrrrrrrrrrrrpwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!' followed by 'pfhwooooooshhhhh' as the impact-force sends a pressure shockwave outward.

Once it's over, BB is back, hoverhanding the Crystallized Lore, just... Standing there in an idle animation.

While the Pyramid Drop was a JRPG Cutscene Attack, there sure is a whole inverted pyramid jammed into the earth now.
Majima Goro Majima is left sitting on a desk as BB vanishes from sight, having corrected everyone on precisely how much hard drive space she has available. And then, the woman is in the background, and then she brings the sky down. It turns out that stars are not, in fact, tremendous fusion furnaces, but pyramids. This explains exactly nothing, but still leaves Majima with a quandary. Specifically, how not to get utterly obliterated by a tremendous pyramid.
The desk is kicked away. His hands are on the arms of the chair, and he's flipped up onto his feet.

He draws a knife, tossing it up into the air, and then kicking it up towards the pyramid.
Shockingly, this does zero damage to the pyramid. Neither does the next. Or the next. His truly completely unnecessary display of knife-throwing accomplishes nothing of use...until the pyramid is very, very close to crashing.

And then he grabs onto the first knife he's embedded into the stone, swinging his body upwards to bounce his feet off the next, just enough to get his hand in range of the next one, constantly pulling and swinging his body upwards and outwards to keep himself above the contact pound of architectural wonder and ground, until...

Until it's done, and he's atop the pyramid, hands on his knees. There's a mildly concerned look on his face, before the smile returns. A beckoning motion is made to the returned BB, as she idles poignantly in front of the Pumpkin Moon.

                                       BB                                      
                                  MOON CANCER                                  

"Neeehahahahaha!" His back arches. His proper knife's out. It's time to party. She's not doing any particular aerial keepaway bullshit, so he'll happily rush forward--in fact, there's a hop, a skip, and then a leap, the man a veritable tornado of knife strikes. He's having a good day.
Seifer Almasy      "Wait, the wha-"

     Field change!

     Seifer jumps up out of the chair and onto the schooldesk with the professionalism of a hot-blooded schoolbully. He's done this many times, clearly. Granted, the desks he usually put his foot up on were...computers...?...and not computer-generated. So...it's...kind of inverted. But familiar. As best he can remember, anyway. Or, rather, as best his muscles can remember.

     He vaults forward over the chairs, swinging Hyperion forward-

     WHAM

     The pyramid comes smashing down. The shockwave sends Seifer spiralling, smashing into the blackboard. He slides off it, covered in chalk. A groan.

     "OK."

     "That was kinda cool."

     "But also really, really annoying."

     He grabs the chalkboard ledge and pulls himself up. BB's idling. Great. Maybe he can take her from be-

     Maybe he can deal with her while she's not paying attention-

     Wait, no. She's gotta be paying attention. She's obviously in control of the place.

     Seifer, demonstrating that Seifer is a lot smarter than people give him credit for, goes running around the side of the pyramid. Hyperion grinds along the ground. Sparks fly. Seifer runs.

     He stops on a dime. Hyperion comes down. Seifer swings around into what looks like a kick. He pulls the trigger, and the kick becomes something not unlike a Hurricane Kick. He swings his foot upwards and thrusts Hyperion outwards, and it goes from a Hurricane Kick to a Hurricane Hyperion. Each pull of the trigger makes it go faster. It's completely stupid to watch.

     Then again...

     Seifer lands on the other side. "YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED ME!" He shouts at Archer, "WHEN YOU SAY HER C-DRIVE..."

     "'CAUSE SHE'S KINDA RIGHT, AND I KINDA NEED TO KNOW WHAT PAGE WE'RE ALL ON HERE!"
Doctor Strange      Okay. So. She's basically a god here, which makes this one of Those Fights. Strange rises from the comfortable desk, looking down at it briefly... That pyramid is going to hurt. He's gonna need to buy some time to get his kit together, so for a minute, here... it's just gonna be pure sorcery, no artifacts. With two brisk motions as if he were entangling an opponent's limb in a joint lock, burning orange mandalas spark before his fists.

     Tracing several circles before him, his whole body moves fluidly, as if he were performing some training exercise meant to teach how to roll with attacks. The rings of his mandalas rapidly turn and lock into place, forming combinations as if he were opening two safes at once.

     Semitransparent flat planes which reflect the air, the spooky forest, and the pyramid in glossy distorted forms like frosted glass, form beneath the impending attack. They shatter, but they're meant to, for two reasons. One is that it slows the speed of the Wonder, lessening the impact when it finally does slam into the earth. The other is that the shards of those planes seek retribution for their shattering, flying towards the giant BB in the background like a school of fish suddenly changing direction.

     The impact is still enough to knock Strange off of his feet, to send the desks flying into the air about him and tumbling on top of them. He lets it happen--because he's still working on a different spell. A hole in the local world is punched, reality shattering like glass but lingering. Out, pulled from a hole punched into one end of the Mirror Dimension, and through to the local world of the Sanctum, come his robes, a few choice artifacts and reagents, and, most importantly, the Eye. One of those artifacts is, naturally, the Cloak of Levitation, which settles upon his shoulders, tugging him free of the pile of desks. Taking to the sky, Strange floods the airspace with illusory copies of himself.
Archer EMIYA BB drops a literal pyramid on his head while rambling about missing this year's Halloween event. Which is only half true. He missed BOTH Halloween events. Eat that, this Hero of Wrought Iron is immune to your FOMO tactics.

Thankfully, despite his large muscle suit body, he's decently mobile, backflipping several times out of the way of the Pyramid, ditching his red covering, the sudden flipping back and forth also undoing his slicked back hair.

You can't really DODGE something that big though, the shockwave hitting his body like a bag of brick as he quickly creates a sword to stab in the ground to prevent him from flying off.

"I'd be lying if I said the joke was intentional. But I'm not going to deny credit for something I didn't do."

A bow and sword appear in hand as Archer finds a left over pyramid to jump on top of. He ditched his jacket already, so there's no dramatic swish to accompany his COOL PARKOUR, but it doesn't reduce the effectiveness of his plan. Just the visual flair.

The sword twists and contorts itself as its nocked against the bowstring, Archer casually pulling it back with his massive arms before letting the improvised missile fly.

An ear-piercing screech whizzes through the air as the projectile aims for BB's chest (for obvious reasons), exploding on impact with enough force to level a small Heracles.
Sylvi "Holy moley, sempai!" calls BB towards Majima Goro.

As her name comes up, the Cute Devil Sweater Sensei winks towards ALL THREE of the camera cut-in angles on her, before doing a v-for-victory fingers by her ear for the

BLOCK CALLIGRAPHY LETTERS

of her name. "That's me!" She dabs. "Your most beloved devil-admin, BB cha-"

Majima approaches and windmills into her with a KNIFE.

Like anything else, Majima finds BB is succeptible to thrusting stabs and whirlwind cuts putting her in identical 'uwah!' recoiling animations or clutch-her-gut staggers with betrayed, sad puppydog eyes.

"S-sempai!" She poutingly cries as her Single Identical On-Hit Voice Line for every single swing.

After a particularly cutting hit, she simply long-leaps away, Majima's turn over.

Majima, for some reason, collects a large number of Critical Stars which... probably... do... something? He feels empowered.

Seifer's attack, screaming in like a second BLADE TORNADO, causes BB to gain dizzy eyes as she's spinningly trigger-juggled over and over, faster and faster, until it becomes Extra Cursed as Another BB with a foam finger and a 'Seifer Fighting!' headband on cheers him on like a karaoke supporter from next to Archer.

A little 'hai! hai! hai!' every hit.

Archer, whipping around, causes Another BB to gasp and poof out like the Cheshire Cat caught in the act. Archer looses his distortion of a broken legend at the primary, idling BB, and as she's thrown free of the Rhythm Heaven Beat Saber 100% Max Heat Full Combo run from Seifer, the tumbling Cute Devil BB is obliterated in a large cloud of screaming, satisfyingly real anguish.

In the background Large BB (who seems to be seperate and distant) has a whole cloud of mirror dimension sharpness and wizard geometry blasted into her direction. The attack seems to strike true -- too true.

Large BB falls, crying bitterly, clutching at her eye, before fading away.

Out of a large red Warp Pipe with a rainbow flashing BB CHANNEL banner emblazoned on it, a differently dressed BB emerges. This one isn't wearing a sweater, but more of a black jacket and white top that do nothing modest about their teasing cuts and proportions. She raises a conductors baton, and taps it to her lips, smiling.

"And that's... All of them, yes. Thanks for taking out the trash everyone. With the Moon Cell ruined and gentrified, I needed to pick up my lost little pieces before they rotted away forever. I already had re-integrated Purity and Affection, because, of course, your wonderfully capable BB has boundless love for all her little crowned piggies! But now, with the rest all sorted-- I'm the Complete, True, Super-Rare, Limited Drop Ultimate BB!"

She gestures with her hand, and the Crystallized Lore reappears, hovering. Tapping it, with her baton, she draws a great big pink heart in the air.

Dozens of other hearts shape their way into a kaleidoscope of colorful lights, floating points of warm and welcoming light.

Of course, they all start belching colorful death lasers of lethally deep affection all over the field, pyramid crater and all.

"Squirm, ahahahahahaha! If you really want to recieve my love, stand still! I'm sure I'll be able to integrate your Spirit Origins too, so if you want to be part of the greatest and most beautiful program ever, just stay tuned!"

"To Love <3 Love <3 BB Channel!"
Doctor Strange      Okay... now that he's equipped and he's flying in an erratic formation with dozens of other Stranges who are doing the same thing, he can be annoying. Well, not strictly true. He could be annoying before, but now he can be really annoying.

     As they loop, roll, and weave between the trees, the Strange Swarm spreads out, keeping their distance from Seifer, Majima and Archer so as not to make it too obvious which ones are fakes.

     They all weave spells, all throw them at BB, all pollute the air with lasers and rays and cones and orbs of all different colors, sizes and speeds. There are two signs of the real one's passing:

     One, the kaleidoscopic mutation of the pyramid into a towering, winding Boss Arena, raising and lowering, with spinning chunks of pyramid platforms for Seifer and Majima to use at their convenience.

     Two... the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak, a baleful, smoldering red beam which wraps around the remaining BB, binding and crushing her, responding in kind with searing pain that increases in proportion to the level of brute strength employed against them.

     Her lasers disintegrate a swath of Stranges. But none of them were the right one.
Seifer Almasy      As BB charges up her love-love beam, bringing her wand around to make a big heart, Seifer moves into a stance.

     Hey.

     "NOT NOW"

     I'm just sayin'.

     "YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME NOW"

     The heart-shaped beam blasts outwards. Seifer dives forwards. Hyperion snaps up to grind against the shot. Sparks erupt all around him as he pushes his other hand onto the back of the weapon. He goes sliding backwards under the sheer pressure of the beam.

     Have you considered that *I* might be up for receiving her love? I mean it's been a while-

     "YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS TO ME RIGHT NOW"

     Seifer is just shouting at the air as he's pushed backwards. He tumbles over a desk. The beam goes just over his head. It nearly gives him a haircut. Fortunately, it does not quite reach.

     You're so selfish.

     "I'M TRYING NOT TO DIE"

     Ahhhh, you'll be fine. She's probably not trying to kill you.

     "What makes you say that?!" Seifer grabs onto the pyramid ledge and pulls himself up, "Are you just not paying attention!?"

     Oh I'm paying a lot of attention.

     "THAT IS NOT WHAT I-"

     She could've vented you into space at any time. This is a game! She's having fun. Obviously.

     Seifer grunts. "OK, so, I'm just playing a game?"

     Yeah. But, like, one where, if you die in the game, you die in real life. Better fight like a man! Or a lady. Or a-

     "I KNOW HOW YOUR STUPID LINE GOES!" Seifer discharges Hyperion's clip. "OR A MAN DRESSED LIKE A LADY, OR A LADY DRESSED LIKE A MAN!"

     You know she could probably rock men's cloth-

     "I hate my ghost."

     Seifer rolls over the desk. He grabs Hyperion with both hands. It's a move that reminds him of Someone Else, though he can't quite put his finger on who - somebody he both really liked and respected, and also *really didn't* like or respect. His foot sweeps over the fallen desks. He goes running for BB over schoolchairs. They tumble after him. Each one that falls gives him a little more momentum. Each one that falls is a little more acceleration. Each one that goes down-

     He jumps.

     Hyperion comes *slashing* down. He pulls the trigger not only as it hits but as it goes all the way down, and with it, there's an explosion - of his Soul Force.

     He did the Blade Beam!

     Oh yeah, he's been practicing that, hasn't he?
Majima Goro     Majima's last blow lands satisfyingly, and as it should--with follow-through, not a meaty-thunk. The knife is drawn up, and he idly spins it around in his hand once or twice. His gaze is brought up to the warp pipe, his head tilting a bit. A gloved hand taps at his forehead. "...Fuck is she even' talkin' about?"

This is not, by any means, when things get 'serious'. That's the wrong word to use here. This is, at least, the part when a very bad thing happens, and that he should work very, very hard to ensure that it doesn't happen very specifically to him. The sky's filling with hearts. That looks exactly harmless enough that his finely honed, decades-long history of fighting tells him there's about to be something incredibly harmful happening, and a rainbow beam of pure love smashing into the ground just a short few feet away tells him all he needs to know.

Yeah. Alright. He's on the moon, fighting a world-shattering goddess hot chick because, he thinks, she's moving Seifer's furniture around. Alright. He can work with that.

There's a flash of movement, and Majima is obscured behind one of the floating platforms, before he skates on out back into everyone's vision.
He's got a headband on. He's got a pearlescent white suit. He's ready for exactly this. Knees bend, and he leaps onto a rising platform, just as orbital love bombardment destroys the spot he was on before. This part's tricky, because he's now moving Very Forward on Very Small, Round Platform.
"Let me tell you...." Leap. "I LOVE YOU! And send it to you--" He doesn't quite land on the next platform, but he manages to grind along the edge enough stay atop it, "Cause surely--"
His next jump away from Red. "YOU" Blue. "LOVE" ,Pink. "ME"
With that, the next platform he's on allows him a moment to circle around, "Please know it's conveyed..." He continues to sing despite lack of beat, rising upwards until he's finally within range of BB, leaping off the platform with a glowing, sparkling, shining baseball bat for an overhead strike made of his pure willingness to go along with this exact bullshit.

"Let us look for a glass slipper that fits ~no one else~ but you~"
Archer EMIYA      "Sorry." BB asks them to take their love. To submit themselves to their '''loving''' beam. Archer has other plans, sliding down the top of the pyramid he was standing on to avoid not-so-instant disintegration.

The bow he's holding on to loses its integrity, dissipating away as an outline of two curved swords appear in both his hands. They start filling themselves in, one black, one white, but they're both thrown before they can be completed, though it doesn't appear to stop the process.

Another pair of sword outlines appear again, this time completely filling out as he runs up to BB.

"I like my women a bit more modest. Perhaps you should follow the example you're modeling after?"

In a flash, he brings both swords down on his Kouhai's front, the pair of previously thrown blades having suddenly turned around to slam into her back as well. The force of the blows break both blades, clouds of green dust filling the air as he begins the process of 3d printing a new pair.
Sylvi Attacked by flying pyramid pillar-men (BB turns to the camera and winks.) and entangled by the crimson bands of Swipelefttorak, entangling her thotty arms via the tightest bindings of all:

Message read, but no reply.

"Urrrragh! I hate it when you play hard to GET!" BB shouts, thrashing and heaving chestily as she tugs at the bands that would bind power itself to a form.

Fuming, she stamps her feet, right as--

Majima, a karaoke power aura draped upon him like a cloak, strikes the hearts to the rythm and gives BB a true doki-doki panic to go with her tekimeki crisis. As she's 'struck', she arches her back and flutters her eyes closed, moaning deeply. "Majima-haaaaaaaa~n!"

The blushing flower filter about her pensive look indicates she's been video game Love Defeated. Or something. This is quickly BLACKED OUT BY A DOUBLE CUT IN--

Seifer, aura sizzling like gunpowder, thrusts in with an explosive autocombo. Archer, face darkened by more than the forge and brows fierce, uses the power of his paired swords to become 'two sets' of extra blows on each of the bursting swings of Hyperion. The final cut has Seifer exploding his blade-point to clash with Archer's backing three times in brutal Xes. The sweet, heroic, triple x-cut.

>> XXX-Critical Finish--! Overgauge / 3191 Damage...

When the smoke clears and BB's first break bar is cleared, there's an audible 'bibibibibibibibi' of life bars refilling as BB rises from the warp-pipe again, apparently unharmed.

If you look closely in the anime version, you can spot the first BB yamchaposed in a crater, smoking, in the far background of the Boss Arena.

"I'm bored now!" BB announces, clapping her gloved hands and fingerwaving. "And I got what I wanted, so, you can take these. As a prize! For defeating my first phase! See? This is what piggies get for playing along with BB Channel!"

Heartsigning with her hands she turns to Archer, and... cocks her arm back like a pitcher, extending her tongue. For a moment, a large baseball cap appears on her head with five big stars attached to the brim with some ribbon, which she adjusts theatrically. Then she fastballs the Crystallized Lore at him. Right at his stupid face.

Resetting, and doffing her hat to toss aside for maintenance to clean up later, BB waves to Seifer. "You should listen to the cutie in your head more--"
    "Se-"
        "-m-"
            "-pi~"

Then she beans him with large, ornate golden cup that's WAY too big to hold a drink in. It's more like a chalice cereal bowl.

"If you'd like me to King Solomon the grail in half for you, too bad! Do it yourself to reward your support units. Otherwise, they can have some FP!"

She definitely means Friend Points. Probably.

"Thanks for letting me into the garbage can, baaaaaaka Archer-kun." She bleeeehns at him, before starting to 'bdobdobdo' slowly back down the warp-pipe.

There's time for parting words or shots.
Majima Goro Oh. The target has ceased combat, and is now gripping her stomach while panting.
Well, alright, not precisely, but the clear delineation between 'fight time' and 'have a conversation where important things are discussed' is made, and Majima's a little out of breath. Singing isn't hard. Fighting isn't hard. Doing both in a weird Halloween Egyptian Moon context is at least enough to get you to panting point.

"...So the fuck is the cup for?"
Seifer Almasy      Seifer is about to say something when he gets clowned directly in the head with the Holy Grail. He fumbles backwards, stumbles over a desk, and lands with the thing upended on his stomach. He groans.

     "I don't even know what this thing is!" He shouts at BB, pushing it up against his stomach.

     Holy Grail.

     "Wait, why do you know tha-"

     I know all the treasures of the world! Huhuhahahahah!

     "That's not your thing!"

     It is too my thing! I collect things! You don't know! Maybe I have one of those too!

     "You don't have a-"

     I MIGHT HAVE A MAGIC GLOWY CUP, SEIFER, SHE SAID YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME MORE

     "I hate my ghost."

     He sits up and shrugs at Majima. "I dunno. It's a Holy Grail, I guess?"

     Grants wishes.

     "It does not."

     Well it raises your level cap by two! Or five, if you're a scrub R to SR. Or ten if you're a *loser* one-star.

     "What does *any* of that mean?"

     Don't worry about it. Just give it to me so I can get two more levels.

     "You don't-"

     I MIGHT HAVE LEVELS, SEIFER, YOU DON'T KNOW!
Doctor Strange      The swarm of Stranges disappears, leaving just the one. Hovering, high in the air, with the spooky pumpkin motif dramatically overlaid behind him. "What a piece of work," he says, shaking his head. The worst ones--without fail--are the ones like her. The ones for whom everything's a big game. They're the worst, because to get to that point and still be alive, you have to be really powerful, really lucky, or both. He dramatically descends, the Cloak of Levitation billowing out slowly behind him.

     Out of sympathy for Seifer and Archer being beaned with a grail and crystallized lore, respectively, Strange makes asymettrical mudras with his fingers, ringed mandalas before his hands locking into combinations of glyphs which heal them. Why asymmetrical? Because one is, as far as he can tell, human, and the other is a bag of swords and prana shaped like a human.

     His feet touch the ground just as the spells finish their work. "Oh, that? That's a grail," he says helpfully. "It's like a treasure-farting relic you can blow the--" He pauses. Does he want to say that, after who was just here, and risk them not being bored anymore? He clears his throat, nodding at Seifer. "Not *the* Grail," he says with an arch frown and an outstretched palm. "But there's enough juice in there to make an interesting wish happen. What's the name of that track, by the way?" he asks Majima idly, nodding respectfully if an answer is given. Whether one's given or not, "It's catchy."

     To Archer, "Hey, just giving you advance notice, if the Vishanti end up dragging me off to some stupid diner at the end of the universe, I'm taking you with me even if you're in the middle of reading some nerdy battle manga, or whatever it is you do."
Archer EMIYA      There is a distinct, almost primal desire to catch the dunked object at his face with his teeth. It is probably the conceptual sword idiot inside him talking. Archer instead, however, does the reasonable thing of dropping his swords to catch it with one of his hand, his arm straining and nearly twisting from the force of her CHAOS DUNK.

She then goes to retreat. There's no reason to follow up. He's got what he wanted. HOWEVER.

This woman is dangerous. She may look like your typical main heroine in an overrated visual novel. He also, probably, can't kill her. But sure as hell, if he isn't gonna try as the Enemy Of All Women.

"Trace On."

Magical circuits in Archer's free arm roar to life, vibrantly glowing a bright green through his arm as various empty lines and contours of yet another sword appear in his hand. The way it fills out is a lot slower though, though he's still raising the weapon above his head as he begins chanting.

"This light is the sword of the King who can never be reached. Excalibur Image!"

The sword is brought down without an ounce of swordsmanship talent found from the Spirit earlier. Not that it's needed, as a torrent of blinding gold light pours out of the weapon, tearing apart the digital landscape and crashing into the Mario-esque warp pipe.
Sylvi BB is absolutely certain she's about to get away with this. She's smug in her pouting churlishness, her sweet-and-sour attitude at being defeated getting her away without really committing herself to taking critical damage.

And then Archer, the Enemy of All Women, begins Projecting. Projecting his anger into a sword. Projecting his will into an edge.

Lit up with the glowing sunrise of gold, BB stares into the supercharged attack with big, <3-shaped pupils and a blush to her cheeks.

"Oh no, s-sempai, it's too big!" She gasps, as the sword falls.

She extends only a finger into it, pointing back. "But you're not allowed to use that sword. In that world, you've never seen it. That sword is against the rules. So, Shirou Emiya, I disallow it:"

"Crawl on the ground and despair, because you're *NEVER* allowed to win: Rancid Retcon Revision-!"

She giggles darkly, winks, and sticks out her tongue as if she's already won. "That's just how this cute BB ro-"

The attack, which had paused in mid-air and fizzled with black voxels and sparks, resumes its course in obliterating her, the warp pipe, and a decent backstop of the pyrimdal battle arena.

On the ground glimmering with motes of rare loot gold, is a roasted and smoking black-purple heart that continues to beat, wrapped in a red ribbon. It is clearly darkly magical, and demonic in origin.

BB is nowhere to be seen, but in the distance the four feel in their soul:

Overkill! / 1106 Damage...
And the sounds of some surging powerup. Some sort of final stand, that does not reveal itself.
Doctor Strange      Strange conjures a portal for Seifer, leading to the less crazy part of the Moon Cell. One is made for Majima, too, if he'd like passage back to Kamurocho. Who knows? Maybe those fight idiots who tried to jump him are still there, and hopefully, no one jacked his food. He'll leave them open, until they decide to use them.

     But someone isn't finished. "Uh, Archer? What're you doing there, guy?" The sword of the King who can never be reached. From the moment Archer begins forming it with his circuits, Strange recognizes it. His brow raises. "You're really pulling out--" asks Strange. Excalibur. "Wow," he chuckles dryly. "You must really want her dead, huh." His arms are crossed as he watches the projectile fly. That should do it...

     His usual deadpan frown worsens. It's concern. She stopped it... and if it were him, he'd be throwing it back, right about... wait. What did she call him? Strange turns his head sideways. The projectile goes forward anyways. There's some legends that even the Moon Cancer can't cheat, it seems.

     "Wow," he says. "That makes sense. I mean... knowing what I know of... him..." He says, leaving out the name just on the off chance Seifer or Majima didn't hear it, "I thought you would have seen that sword. Are you not that... him... exactly?"
Archer EMIYA      "Tch. Shirou Emiya. Of course you'd know that name." The name is said with a mixture of bitterness and something else, as the weapon in his hand disintegrates into a green mist. With it gone, he simply looks at his prize, tossing it slightly up in the air before catching it. More of a curse than a prize, in reality.

"Well. Mission complete. In multiple ways. Don't cry for me when I'm gone, King of Moon Cell."

Archer doesn't seem too concerned that BB lived. Excalibur never wins a fight by itself, especially a downgraded copy. He'll just have to deal with her later.

As of now, he's busy collecting his red mystic code from off the ground, dusting off the two piece jacket before sliding it back on and slicking back his hair before heading off.

Considering he doesn't have hair gel, it's quite an accomplishment.
Sylvi To spite him, as he puts on his Mystic Coat, the loot's ribbon, working like butterfly wings, flies off to make sure Majima gets it. Through a portal, even.

Rancid Retcon Revision indeed.