Scene #7564: Yes I Am Laughing At You

Owner	Pose
Hesinca	It's a quiet street in what would be some multiversal version of France - like the Hollywood version of France, which looks like what people think France is but it's really a studio backlot that's just been done over with baguette shops and other "French" things, and a scale model of the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe in the distance - in the entirely wrong places. Hesinca isn't that hard to spot, for obvious reasons. She's at an outside table at one of the many cafes lining the street, sipping tea from a cup that looks comically small in the 10' tall centaur's hands. The rest of the tables are taken up by weird penguin things, who all have terrible table manners.
Okada Izou	Given his temperament, one might expect Izou to be the kind of person to barrel, stupidly, out into the street, draw steel, and loudly demand a fight. He's loud, brash, and apparently egotistical, or at least proud as hell, so that's the kind of person he is, right? The man just kind of appears out of nowhere in the middle of the street. He's a shaggy-looking man, dressed in a long hakama, with an orange scarf around his neck. His hair hangs down over one eye. His other eye is a sharp yellow. A pair of Japanese swords hang at his waist. His eyes are focused on Hesinca. So is the enormous, paralyzing killing intent. It's not enough to paralyze Hesinca, but nearby people tense up, unable to move out of sheer fear. There's a predator in their midst, a predator of human beings, letting them know that it's here. Their bodies don't wish to move. They might alert the monster. He takes a step forward. His single visible eye remains locked on her. When it becomes apparent that she's too strong to crumble in the face of his directed killing gaze, his lips twist up in a 'tch' behind his scarf. Then he disappears. He reappears on the table, directly in front of her in a crouch. Thumb goes to blade. Blade swings out. No warning but the sudden gust of wind catching up with him, but the scattering of plates and dishes and silverware, but the toppling of tables. He's fast. His sword's fast. Behind that angry yellow eye, a single question wells up, which, finally, bursts free. "WHY ARE YOU A FUCKING HORSE?!"
Utsuho Reiuji	Where there is conflict, there is... Okay, there's not always Utsuho, but there is today because she's both bored and wants to see the new guy. She isn't that hard to spot either, because her solution to not being here is to fly in and drop right in the middle of the cafe's outside area. Her concrete-coated foot makes a loud thunk when she touches down... right on one of the penguin things' tables. At least she didn't put her foot in any food or drinks. "Coming through!" she says, and hops off the table, wings spreading again just long enough to get her over heads and onto the street. She goes directly over the impending battle, pivoting midair to try to keep her eyes on it.
Hesinca	All of the prinnies stop playing with their food and tense up. Hesinca looks around at them, not noticing Izou's appearance at first. "Jeez, what's with you lot? You're supposed to be watching out for this guy." "M-m-mis-tress H-h-h-es-in-ca," one of then stutters out. "It's 'Mistress Hesinca', no stuttering," she says, narrowing her eyes, and is about to rebuke the prinny further when Izou reappears right in front of her, and strikes! Tables go flying. Chairs go flying. The prinnies go flying, being scattered every which way around the cafe and the street. "DOOD!" When it all settles down, everything in the immediate area is a mess... ... except for Hesinca, who has a small gash on her armor, and a crack in the teacup she's holding. "... Why are you so punchable?" she asks in return, the first reaction or acknowledgement of his presence she makes. Then her teacup shatters. "And I was drinking from that - well, props to Concord recruiting for getting someone who shows up and doesn't hide behind a radio, at least," she says, and then yanks her arm back and punches at Okada's face. There's no artistry or subtletly to it, just a lot of muscle and force.
Okada Izou	"I'm n-" Centaur fist. To Izou's credit, he's very, very fast. The blade comes up, one hand against it to brace it. The hit is not quite dead-on; it's close enough that the impact tears off his hairband, sending his black hair loose down his back, close enough to send him skidding backwards along the table. It's another testament to his credit that he doesn't fall over when the table tips, despite the sheer force of the hit - just skids from the side of it to another table, landing in front of one of the Prinnies. He works his jaw. He spits a bloody tooth into one of the Prinnies' eyes. Those things are fucking weird. He'll worry about that later. Izou puts his foot in front of him. His sword clicks back into its sheathe as he crouches, his yellow eye still fixed on her from behind his mass of black hair. He doesn't say anything. His fingers tap against the katana. And then he's gone again, not even a motion blur. He just vanishes. The only hint of what direction he's going in is the slew of teacups flying upwards, shooting up into the air. He jumped. He must've- Below! The blade comes slashing through the table beneath Hesinca, carving for her throat as the table itself goes flying.
Utsuho Reiuji	When the prinnies scatter, Utsuho steals the least bitten croissant from their table and takes it with her. Whatever else she is, she is a raven, and she's not going to say no to a free pastry. Past that, she stays out of the way. For now. She doesn't even heckle, unless bothering the prinnies by stealing their snack counts.
Hesinca	"Dood," says one of the prinnies, not appreciating the tooth in the slightest. Hesinca remains where she is. The blade cuts into her, tearing into armor and flesh, and tearing up towards her throat - - where it tings off of her neck armor, deflecting at the last moment. "Mmm- no, almost," she says, still having not moved from that spot. "Getting closer, though." "I admire your persistence, but if you're a paid killer and I'd hired you-" She lashes out, trying not for a punch, but this time for a grab, trying to grapple and then fling him through the wall of the nearby cafe. "-Then I'd ask for my money back!"
Okada Izou	"I DON'T NORMALLY KILL HORSES!" "BUTCHERS KILL HORSES!" Another lunge. His foot swings upwards for the bisected table. Hesinca's hand crashes through the metal - it's just enough time for Izou to skid backwards out of reach before she can get a solid grab. Which is a good thing - he's already seen what that grab can do, and he's not interested in getting caught in it. The metal splinters in his shoulder are enough. A little bit of blood darkens against the coat. He's bleeding, but he's also a ghost, so he has no idea how that works. He'll probably have to bind it later? Do ghosts get infections? Probably? Who knows. Izou darts sideways. There's a moment where the few remaining shards of teacups scatter, and Izou just keeps running right on over them in mid-air, as if they're completely solid. He even jumps off one, going high into the air. Then he disappears. There's the brief sound of a pair of feet hitting the ground in front of her. He wouldn't be that stupid- From above? -Behind! The blade goes jamming right for her back. It's already dented and cracked - and he's not looking to just stab her. He's looking to break off a piece of the blade inside her. He might be a swordsman, but he's clearly not above fighting dirty.
Utsuho Reiuji	"She's only like half a horse, you know," Utsuho calls from the sidelines, where she is clearly Not Helping. Then she stops to think about that for a moment. "Actually I guess more? The horse part is bigger than the not-horse part." This is sufficient to distract her for a few moments while Izou goes for the dirty strike. She winces. Then finishes the remnants of croissant.
Hesinca	Hesinca continues to not move. The blade slams down - and it pierces clean through, finding a gap in the centaur's armor, passing through not just metal and fabric (and some sort of chiton) but straight down into the meaty bits, with a very satisfying noise. The demon jolts, shuddering, as the blade hits home, and then sags when it's withdrawn leaving a piece inside. "... Well. Well done, finally. You stabbed me in the heart." And then, all of a sudden, she moves - she bunches up her legs and leaps, straight up into the air! "PITY FOR YOU I DON'T GOT ONLY ONE OF THOSE!" she says, trying to just simply crush him with her armored hooves!
Okada Izou	Hesinca's armored hooves stomp down into a mess of teacups and fine china as Izou hops backwards. Before she can swing around a deadly kick, his feet catch onto shards of the china, running up the pieces until he can flip backwards onto the sign. Then he flips his own sign at Hesinca. "That's complete bullshit! I stabbed you in the fucking heart!" The broken sword spins around in his hand. "What the fuck is this...people die when they're killed, god dammit! That's the way it's supposed to be!" Then he sheathes the sword with another 'click.' No point in bitching about something he can't control. When you kill the target, you don't get to shout 'that's cheating', even if this is totally cheating what the fuck is this. You don't get to go, 'hey you should've died' if you miss. He vanishes. When he reappears, he's in the process of drawing the sword along the ground. But he's not swinging directly at her. It's a flash of sparks, a brief burst of fire catching one of the tablecloths. His sheathe whirls around as he twists his hip into the attack. The sheathe fires off the belt and into the flaming tablecloth - and right for Hesinca's face. Yeah Izou's really not the 'clever plan' kind of fighter. He's the 'whatever works in the heat of the moment' kind of fighter.
Hesinca	"If you think her hearts are bad, boy, are you going to be dissappointed if you try to stab her in the lungs, dood," says a prinny who happens to be clinging to the roof next to the sign. The flaming tablecloth takes Hesinca by surprise. "What the heck?" It lands squarely on her face, and she starts lashing out - with more fervor and motion than before, just blindly swinging and kicking all around the patio, trying to land a hit on something she can't see!
Utsuho Reiuji	Utsuho attempts to clap her hands together but, having only one of them, only manages to make a thud when she slaps her rod arm into her actual hand. "Yeah! Kick her butt! I bet she won't take YOU to the spa afterwards!" That's kind of a non-sequitor isn't it? Either way, Utsuho waves her fist in the air, cheering from the sidelines indiscriminately.
Okada Izou	Whuuf. The kick catches him right in the chest. It turns out, getting kicked by a horse? Sucks. Getting kicked by an armored horse? Suck a lot. Getting kicked by an armored demon horse-person? Sucks way more. Izou grabs at his chest and coughs as he rolls once, skidding onto one knee and driving the sword down into the ground. His eye is still angry as hell, but his breathing's just a little more shallow. Probably broke a rib. Do ghosts have ribs? It's bullshit that ghosts have ribs. He shouldn't have ribs. How come she gets more hearts, and he still has to have ribs? Shit. Well, it's not like life was ever fair to Okada Izou. When he manages to right himself, he wobbles a little, coughs, and spits out another tooth. "I don't let anybody laugh at me." Izou slides one foot backwards, the other forward. He raises his free hand, holding it in front of where the blade's tip would be. He draws the broken weapon back as if he's going to thrust. Somewhen in history, someone spent a lot of time refining this technique. It was once the core of the Shinsengumi's training, one of their signature attacks - one of the techniques that made them so deadly. In the crowded Kyoto streets a thrust from a squad of men would pin a man down and give him nowhere to run. Someone had spent their life mastering that technique. Izou had stolen it in the blink of an eye. "I AM!" He charges. It's a straightforward charge. That's nothing. He's just going dead-on. There's gotta be some trick, right? "A GENIUS!" He's just running. It's fast, though. It's really fast. But still, it's just a really fast stab. With a broken weapon. What kind of idiot would do that? "SWORDSMAN!" He doesn't pull away at the last minute. He doesn't twist, or turn it into a slash. He doesn't jerk the weapon upwards into her jaw. It's just exactly what it looks like - pure, unrelenting, overwhelming momentum, delivered at pure, overwhelming speed, backed by a perfect alignment of hip and arm to deliver the maximum possible blow. It looks simple. But on a technical level it is something that people spend their whole lives refining. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" And, used solo, it's something only someone supremely confident in their own abilities would try, especially with a broken blade.
Hesinca	As Izou speaks, Hesinca wrestles with the tablecloth. It seems to be caught on her horns. "Bless it, why is this so hard to get off?!" And the next thing she knows, the blade is sinking straight in. "Hrk," she says, a small sound for someone stabbed with a big sword. She's managed to get the tablecloth off, just in time to look down at the blade piercing her. "That's..." "... That's... the other heart, yeah," she says, softly. "... And I don't got more than just two. So I'd be dead..." Her hands lash out in a sudden movement, trying to grab Izou by the wrist, and force the blade in deeper. "If I didn't have a favor to cash in, that is! Green Knight, by the bonds of conflict we share, I invoke thy aid to crush my foes!" And then her flesh starts regenerating - regrowing in place, clouds of tiny nanites rapidly building to repair the damage the battle has done, and specifically... ... repairing it while Izou's hand is inside of her chest wound, trying to crush it with sheer regenerative might!
Utsuho Reiuji	Utsuho doesn't know a damn thing about swordfighting beyond the fact that she is impressed by Izou's skill, but it doesn't matter - she's cheering for him anyway. His attitude makes perfect sense to her. She hates being laughed at, too. Sure, she ended up liking Hesinca after all, but that doesn't mean she doesn't occasionally want to see her lose sometimes anyway. This is the way of the world, after all! "Hey!" Utsuho hops up on the decorative fence around the perimeter of the cafe's tables, balancing up there. "Don't stick together! Do I have to cut you two apart?" The tip of her rod-arm sparks bright, like a welding torch, though it goes out almost immediately.
Okada Izou	"What the fu-" "AAAAARRRRRRRGH!" Hesinca starts regenerating around him. Her body just starts closing up, crushing against his hand. He's not too much stronger than a normal human, after all. He's not too much tougher, either. Sure, he can take a centaur kick to the face and not die, but having his hand crushed inside a heart is not exactly a great way to finish a fight. Izou's eye bugs out as he screams, loudly. It is not a pain scream. It is an angry defiant scream. His hand smashes into the hilt. "STOP...FUCKING...BEING...ALIVE!" He can't get his hand free, so instead, he pushes his hand deeper, twisting the broken blade inside her as hard as he can. It's not very hard - his hand is after all held fast - but theoretically, even if you're growing your organs back together, being stabbed in the heart still hurts like a bitch. Maybe? He has no idea how the fuck this works. It's not like he thinks when he's fighting. His body's moving on its own.
Hesinca	The blade gets pushed in yet further. "OW- hey, stop that!" she says, wincing. It's hitting something important. Tearing up something important, another part of her regrowing heart. "Okay, ENOUGH, you've proven you can't kill me, that's all you've done, so you can-" Her body stops regenerating, at least long enough for her to try to pull him back out. "-Just-" And then she throws him - and if she manages it, she simultaneously stomps her hooves, causing a pattern of colored tiles to appear on the ground nearby. "STOP!" Altogether - the intended effect is to create a box of these glowing tiles surrounding him on all sides, and when he goes to cross them, it's like slamming into a visibly invisible wall.
Okada Izou	Izou can't kill her, that's true. He's doing his god damnedest. But he's been in the Multiverse for all of about a day, if that, a member of the Concord for even less. He's got no idea what he's dealing with. He's reacting purely on instinct. And, unfortunately, even as genius as his instinct is, it was honed for killing men, not monsters. Or...demons. Or...centaurs. Or whatever the hell she is. She just tosses him into the box. He stands up, wheezing, and goes to walk forward. Bonk. He goes to walk forward again. Bonk. He pushes against it. Then he sits down, cross-legged. His eyes remain locked on hers. He doesn't say shit, and he's probably bleeding pretty profusely, but he's a Servant, he'll live. He's silent for a good minute. Then, finally, he pulls out an old-style jug of what is probably rice wine, uncorks it, takes a swig, sets it down, coughs, spits out another tooth, and, in the flattest voice imaginable, "Next time you want my hands all over your chest all you gotta do is ask." He maintains eye contact the whole time. He does not smile. He does not sneer. He does not smirk. His eyes remain locked dead-on, like a dog staring up at a stranger who made eye contact. ...in fact, while sitting down, he really does kinda look like a scruffed-up dog...
Utsuho Reiuji	Utsuho does not have to cut people apart. Score. Hesinca tosses Izou into a box. Utsuho doesn't really know what that's going to do at first until Izou walks into it a couple times, and then even she can figure it out. She pops the last bite of croissant that she's forgotten to eat into her mouth, chews, and then drops off the railing she's perching on. "Well, it was a good battle at least," she says. "I'd be happy with it! The battle, I mean, not the ending necessarily. But the whole thing, overall." Her brows furrow at Izou's concluding words, though. She doesn't get it.
Hesinca	Hesinca brushes herself off, which is mostly a performative gesture given how much blood, dirt, and other things she's covered with after that brawl. "I'll keep that offer in mind," she says. "Hey, Utsuho, you want to order something? That guy's paying the tab- oh, looks like the staff ran off. Hmmh." She goes over to the Penalty Box, and looks down at its occupant. "You've got skills. And you're willing to back up your words with those skills - we need more of that. But." She pokes the invisible wall. "You picked the wrong person to do that to, and so you're gonna cool off in there for a while."
Okada Izou	"What guy, me?" Izou points at himself. "You think I've got money? Shit, I've been here for less than half a day. I don't have money."
Utsuho Reiuji	Utsuho Reiuji looks innocent. This is because she stole at least one of the prinnies' croissants when they bailed. "I'm good," she says. "I mean, unless you really want to buy me something, because then it would be rude if I said no, so I think I could manage - " She cuts herself off. "...oh. Well, it's fine. I don't have much money with me either."
Hesinca	"Am I really the only one here with money? I thought this was supposed to be the rich faction," says Hesinca. "Fiiiine, next round's on me, then..."
Okada Izou	"I JUST showed up!" Izou says again, "The fuck would I have any money? The only person I've tried to kill is you, ! Not like you paid me to kill you!" "Although if you wanna I wouldn't say no."
Hesinca	"No thanks, that sort of thing only happens as stupid plot points in stupid comic books and cartoon shows," says Hesinca, probably offending someone. "And I can do my own killing just fine, anyway. The most I'd need you for is for you to go kill some angels for me, probably."
Okada Izou	"I don't know what any of that shit you just said means," Izou says flatly.
Utsuho Reiuji	"I have money! Just not here! It's all small change and I don't have any pockets! But if you want to buy me something I won't say no..." Utsuho considers that for a few moments. "I should get pockets. Anyway, I thought you gave up killing angels for a while at least." She explains to Izou, "She means bad novels and plays, except the plays get sent like the radio sends words."