Scene #7725: Deserted in the River

Owner	Pose
Kukuru	A man has fallen into the river in a busy city! For some reason, local emergency services have been reluctant to actually pull him out. Locals, too, aren't clamoring for anyone to go help him. Traffic has stopped, with pedestrians and drivers alike rubbernecking just to watch. Everyone's eerily quiet about the whole thing, as if they're waiting for something to happen. The nearby bridge, the fishing spots, and even the rooftops nearby are full of people, emergency services, even some children and a certain green haired woman just waiting and watching this man in limbo from a nearby rooftop. He doesn't look like he has enough strength to swim back to dry land, but he's not so worn out that he can't just hold onto the buoy for a good while longer, especially since he's rather animated just yelling at everyone on shore to get him out already. A man has fallen into the river. What do you do?
Kale Hearthward	What do you do? You dive right on in and rescue him. "Hold on, citizen!" calls Kale - who hasn't quite dived in in the literal sense as much as has swooped downward, hovering in the air a short distance away - the bullshit magic powering his jet boots letting him orient himself upside down so that he's able to stay right above the man and reach downward towards him. "Here, take my hand and I'll get you to safety!"
Staren	A beam of red-white light shoots down from the sky, hitting the top of a nearby building and resolving into Staren. She tries to push through the crowd, then turns into a cat to get to the edge where she can see. It's a small american shorthair with a cat-size version of Staren's scarf around the neck. Hmm. No visible complications. But one of the first things you learn in emergency response is to check that the situation is clear so you don't just fall victim to whatever got the person you're rescuing. She looks up at the people nearby. "Why isn't anyone doing anything?" The squeaky little cat voice probably doesn't do much to command seriousness, but perhaps people might assume that her magical girl will be along any moment now and share any info that needs to be passed along. If no one responded, she was just about ready to go for the rescue directly, but Kale's already on it; so either way, she starts warping in sensor drones to scan the area... and the people, feeding their expressions and behavior to her behavioral analysis AI to try and suss out anything unseen going on...
Kukuru	The man reaches for Kale's hand when he swoops down, but a flung can strikes the man's hand and has him recoiling painfully. He nearly releases that buoy he's holding onto as well, and then he shoots a withering glare towards the people on the bridge. "Who was that?! Show yourself, or I'll make it worse for you once I find out later anyway!" He shouts in an unpleasantly shrill tone, causing several of the people on the bridge to look away almost at once. Whoever this man is, there's certainly a weird power dynamic going on here, and he doesn't even look thankful as he snaps his gaze towards Kale. "Well, what are you waiting for?! Hurry it up already!" Meanwhile, a fire truck finally lowers its ladder, but it keeps jerking from side to side and back and forth rather than extending fully towards the man (and Kale by extension). "We have this under control, sir! Could you please come this way?" One of the firefighters calls out to Kale, waving and gesturing at him to approach with a rather anxious look on her face. Behind her, another firefighter can be seen pretty clearly messing with the controls to the ladder, as though they're just making it look like it's glitching out. Staren's inquiry into the situation gets some info that's probably already strongly implied from the crowd's reactions to Kale trying to save the man and the firefighters' request that he come to them rather than doing their job: Nobody wants this person to be saved. If his sunny disposition wasn't already a sign, the crowd seeming excited whenever there's a light rush of water to jostle the buoy is. They want him to die, but nobody wants to physically do it for some reason. Well, until someone actually answers the cat. "He's got dirt on everybody. Nobody was rushing to help him, but if he gets out of this?" One of the bystanders explains while gesturing around at the street lamps, the sides of seemingly random buildings, and at the traffic lights. There's cameras all over the place. "He's got surveillance all over the place. He'll know who didn't rush in." The only people that seem hesitant about what they're doing or not doing at all, coincidentally, are the firefighters, and that's probably because it won't look too good if they let someone drown with so many of their trucks right there. A barge blares its horns in the far distance. It sounds like it's getting closer, but it's still pretty far away.
Kale Hearthward	"..." "..." Kale, still hanging in the air upside down, rubs the underside his beak (his 'chin). "What, exactly... did you do here," he says, "That's... got so many people here showing up to watch you drown?" he asks. He waves back to the firefighters. "Hearthward, Paladins Elite Unit, official business," he calls, flashing a badge towards them (still upside down). "Be with you in a minute!" he calls. He's also entirely undeterred by the man being unpleasant. "I'll be able to save you more quickly if you can tell me what's going on," he adds to the man.
Staren	Staren's initial guess was that this is pageantry for some sort of ritual sacrifice; These people believe this one man must die, somehow, for everyone else to live. Before she can get too involved in planning for that situation, though, someone clears things up, and her AI confirms they're not being deceptive. Staren splays her ears and frowns (she's a magical cat, so she can), considering the situation. She looks back at the buoy. Kale is still on it, and worst comes to worst, if the guy falls in the drink she'll have a couple of minutes to save him with overwhelming technological might. Unless there's a giant river monster but she has scanners for that. So for now, she sits on the edge of the roof and looks up at the people willing to talk to her, ears perked (one occasionally turning to pick up Kale and the man speaking) and putting on an attentive, interested expression. "So, he's got dirt on you all. But he clearly doesn't wield all THAT much actual power, as he can't command anyone to save him. You have all said no, and you could do the same, collectively, for anything he asks. Good for you! That's really hard for a society to do; usually the corrupt fill power structures with their cronies." She tilts her head, tail flicking somewhere between lazily and impatiently. "But, since he holds no power over you, he doesn't need to die either. So, you said he's got surveillance systems? They can be dismantled. What else? What does he do to you all?"
Kukuru	"Ran this city for years, is what. They wouldn't appreciate anything I did here if I put a brick through their window every time!" The man shouts at Kale again with a strangely specific example, taking a moment to grasp at the ladder that's far too out of reach to even consider grabbing. He nearly falls in at that moment, but catches himself before falling in. The crowd gets excited briefly, and the crowd deflates when he stays above water. "What's there to say about what happened? Some punk pushed me over the bridge, and I got swept over here! Little rat bastard... You're gonna regret that once I find out who your parents are!" Another shout to make a good case for himself, and then he glares at Kale once again. "If it weren't for me, this city'd be a lawless hellhole. You don't see any gangsters running around or drug deals going on, do you?" Indeed, there's nobody running around or doing anything but watching this. There's also nobody dressed up like an old-timey gangster. "Exactly! Mayors, governors, who gives a shit about them? You let me drown, and this whole place goes tits up!" The people Staren is addressing, meanwhile, seem a little less worried about the man's threats than just about everyone else watching from the sidelines. "It's... More complicated than that. This isn't the first time it's happened. The last people that were involved..." One of the bystanders starts to explain, flicking a lighter open and shut nervously. "... They're all gone now. He doesn't even need cronies to handle that, either. He's got money." There's a pause as though they're expecting that to be enough, then continues elaborating anyway. "Either we behave and take his money and do what he says, or he'll get someone else to do it. He'll get us fired. Our kids expelled. Permanent construction in front of our homes. There's always someone that'll take the check." The barge's roar grows slightly louder. It's getting closer, but there's no rush yet. It's still got a good five minutes or so before it gets here.
Staren	Staren is capable of understanding levels of irony that are beyond the comprehension of a man who complains that people don't appreciate when he breaks their windows, apparently. Staren turns her head to look briefly at the man, then back at the ones speaking to her. "He is, clearly, bad for your society and focused on appearances rather than curing society's actual ills." Staren-cat tilts her head. "Money is made up. How is it that you're all resisting the urge to save him in hopes of reward now, but any one of you will take the money when offered?" She shakes her head. "I guess that doesn't matter. If the money's a problem, let's go take it. Or destroy it, or cut off his access to it, whatever. Or is it off in some distant computer, numbers in the cloud empowered only by your belief in them? You COULD just decide that money's not worth anything in society; Agree to all help eachother, no matter what. Make new laws and ignore the old. Money, laws, everything he holds over you exists only in the imagination, and can be imagined away..." She makes a sweeping gesture with a paw, then holds it over her forehead. "Okay. I guess I'm getting a little too deep, here. A solution by single-handed brute force won't fix the underlying problems that allowed him to rise -- there will be another. But apparently you aren't capable of a collective solution that protects you from people like him in general. What am I not seeing...?"
Kale Hearthward	"Uh... huh. Alright. I'll be right back, don't do anything," says Kale. And with that, he takes off - still upside down, he just simply starts rocketing upwards, taking to the sky, and flying higher, getting a literal birds eye view of things as he pulls out his phone and starts bringing up the publicly available factsheets and what he can pull from the Commonwealth databases. "... Alright, let's see..." He casts a critical eye over the city, and tries to recall his recent training... ... it's hard to describe the details of what he's looking for. A large part of it is intuition - sort of surveying all of the variables, all of the layout, and trying to suss out some conclusions in the few minutes he has. Especially since he's trying to divine information not exactly front and center on the factsheet, namely... ...Is the city equitable and fair? Are there really signs of a good hand on the tiller? Most importantly, do things only look good on the surface, with deeper problems simmering beneath the supposedly clean streets?
Kukuru	"It's easy now because we don't have to... To fight him. To have him or whoever he's paying to remind us of what he can do if we don't do what he says. All we have to do now is... All /you/ have to do now is just not save him." Another bystander answers Staren, looking over at her when she mentions just taking the money. "What, like just... Yanking all of it out of his account? Can you even do that?" Some of the bystanders actually look a little hopeful at that thought. "If he doesn't have money to throw around, then maybe..." It turns into an indistinct chatter, although it does falter somewhat when the idea of deciding that money isn't worth anything is brought up. "But... We like money." "We need it to afford stuff." "It's way more convenient than having to carry around stuff for trade." "Making new laws means we gotta know lawyer-y stuff, right?" There's some more confusion among their number, and they all nod almost in unison when even Staren admits to going too deep. "We just wanna let him die." That seems to be their colletive solution, but the man is understandably nonplussed by that notion. "Oi! Aren't you supposed to be Elites? Well, get your Elite asses over here and pull me out already!" He continues shouting and thrashing, tiring himself out a bit while Kale hurtles into the sky to get a better lay of the land. It's not a particularly huge land, but it's still a city of modest largeness. Economically, the city and its inhabitants are actually doing pretty well on average. The poverty level is comparably low compared to most cities of this size, but the murder rate is also quite high compared to most cities of this size. It might have something to do with all those 'disappearances', but the reported murder rate is disproportionately low next to that. Whatever it is this man is doing, it's certainly having mixed effects depending on where Kale places value money, life, and general morale of the people living. Also, morale is pretty much nonexistent here. Despite the low moods of everyone around, however, the streets themselves are sparkling. That barge in the distance, meanwhile, continues honking and getting closer. At the rate it's going, maybe a few more minutes at most before it gets close enough to plow right over this buoy.
Staren	It's easy now because they need only take no action. Staren nods, "You're pretty insightful for a mob!" She shrugs at the 'can you really do that?' "I dunno, depends on where he keeps it. I've got ideas, but I need more info." She cocks her head. "Why would you need to be lawyers to make laws? If you wanna have a rule against stealing, just all agree that its bad and how you're going to rehabilitate thieves who get caught, and then do that. If the law is so complex only a lawyer can understand it, then how would anyone who can't afford a lawyer know what to do or not to do?" She tilts her head. "That hardly sounds fair, now, does it?"
Kale Hearthward	Kale's training was carried out personally by one Thomas Nookington Esq, who gets a bad rap for certain loan-sharky things but ultimately does put 'happiness' and 'life quality' pretty high up on the list. For now, Kale's still talking through options with Staren - who inconveniently turns out to not be a master hacker. He's trying to think this through...
Kukuru	"Is it? I mean... If I had powers and money like you Elites, I'd just shoot him." Another bystander replies to Staren, followed by several knowing nods and agreeing noises. "You could try his house. It's the only full... House in the city. Can't miss it." It can totally be missed with the size of the city, but the onlookers helpfully point the way northwards! It's actually not too far away, and it indeed is the only actual HOUSE house among the numerous high-rises and skyscrapers that are clearly meant for apartments and offices rather than just one giant place for one person to live in. "No lawyers? That'd be pretty nice, actually, but... We need them for trade with other places." "Yeah, otherwise we might get screwed when /their/ lawyers sneak stuff in." "We should kill all the lawyers, too!" "... No. We'll just... Keep those." "It's not like we're removing the mayor or whatever." Kale's thinking process is largely uninterrupted from any outside influences. There's errant birds and stuff, of course, but nobody's going to shoot him or anything for no good reason. There may be a couple of telescopes trained on him, though, since a lot of these people clearly haven't seen someone fly that high and actually stay up there for so long. The barge is getting closer. Another minute, and it's going to pass right over the man's position. He's even trying to flutterkick towards the shore, but he's not making much/any progress on that.
Kale Hearthward	An agreement is reached. Kale drops back down, and goes - at full speed and mobility, before anyone can react - to grab the guy in the river and fish him out, then fly back up and carry him out to some distance away. He's assuming Staren can keep up, as he looks for a spot to set him down and start the robbing-at-gunpoint, which is totally Staren's idea and Staren's preference and not something Kale would ever agree to, at least in any sort of official capacity.
Staren	Staren internally frowns slightly at the 'I'd just kill him' comment. But, as they start thinking and discussing more seriously making a better society, she smiles. "That's the spirit! Keep thinking about that." And she darts between the crowd's legs, before leaping off the other side of the building, changing back to her usual form, and activating a flight enchantment on her coat. As soon as they start describing the house, Staren teleports in a smattering of camera drones to locate it, then, once it IS located, sends more scanners (and some robots capable of opening doors) to get everything they can about the house's contents and find any computers or data storage devices. Trying to compile an inventory of the man's financial assets. Now, the theater begins: On local public channels, Staren transmits a video of herself outside the man's... does he have a name? The man's home. She has switched to a Howie-style labcoat, with long black gloves and boots, and dark goggles over her eyes. "Attention, Paladin! I have, um, a cruise missile locked on to your position! Bring him to me if you don't want to be blown to kingdom come! Also I obviously won't blow myself up, right?" Some of the drones, meanwhile, start searching through the crowd, offering "Hi, I need a lawyer and probably a banker or something who can do some good work quick. I can pay, with my own funds." Well, the Concord's, but let's not split hairs. The plan is to 'legally', on paper, set up an entity they can transfer any electronic assets to, as well as more physical things, and to sign off on/verify/make official any such transfers, so that what's done in the next short while stays done, well enough, hopefully, to give Staren enough time to work out how to implement the equitable distribution of all this stuff. (Language about said distribution will be in agreements too, to show intent.)
Kukuru	<J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "I'm Commonwealth authority, not local authority. I'll see if we can't hold him for a decent while." <J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "Unfortunately while I'm doing that I'll be helpless about your plan to drain his accounts and reduce his power, you lawless fiend. Make sure you get them all, you Concord scum." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "Uhh, I'm not actually a master hacker. I dunno if I need to hire somebody, or go edit numbers in a book, or what." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "Might be able to sort of circumvent it another way? Just drop him off somewhere else he can't find his way back from. Or move his consciousness into a body that looks different enough none of his IDs work, but maybe he's paranoid enough to have prepared for that." beat. "Also it's potentially cruel." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "What's the... what's the reason it's so important he doesn't just drown, again? We sure are bending over backwards to come up with a way to avoid that without hurting all these people." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "Selflike life is important, sure... but it's clear that if his continues, without further interference from us, many will suffer, and likely die. His life certainly isn't worth more then theirs. So... Why are we trying so hard? Maybe if we can put it into words that'll make things clearer." <J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "Because I'm not sure 'reverse trolley problem' is sufficient justification to put on a report." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "I'm just... ...That sort of by-the-numbers utilitarian accounting shit is what I was trying to do before, and it never worked out for me. I'm trying out the other thing, I'm trying real hard to see how it can work out, but I'm not seeing a path right now." <J-IC-Scene> Staren with mock innocence, "Oh! Well what justification will you put on the report about the people he 'disappears' and who he makes to suffer?" <J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "Well unlike you, I have accountability!" <J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "I can't just go on a 'letting people drown' spree." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "Of course! You are accountable to all these people. Using your power to help them." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "As a Paladin, you don't get to use the "I know better" excuse when saving that man gets them killed and opressed, like a Concorder could." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "...I'm being a bit glib here but I'm trying, really. Otherwise I'd just shoot him and be done with it, if I really thought there could be absolutely no merit in other paths." <J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "I can arrest him and hold him for a while but you don't make this many enemies if you don't have lots of money. That can hire really good lawyers. And hire fall guys for whatever he's done." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "And yet, he can hire no one who would come to his aid right now. Hmmmm. Well, here's a bad-but-not-the-worst idea: We rob him at gunpoint. Of everything. There are no police willing to save him, after all. Once we have confirmed that his assets have been equitably redistribuited among every person in the city, we walk away." <J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "And I assume you'll do something dastardly if I don't agree to this compromise." <J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "Right?" <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "I... don't know, honestly. If you save him, and release him, I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to just shoot him, even knowing how it will turn out if I don't. I don't know if I can really do that anymore. We'd find out, I suppose."
Kukuru	<J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "Oh. I mean. Um. If you don't I will, um, release poison gas throughout the water supply. Wink." <J-IC-Scene> Kale Hearthward says, "Well, my hands are tied. Let's fish him out." <J-IC-Scene> Staren says, "Um. Yes. Fluoride! Horribly poisonous gas. I'll put fluoride compounds in the water supply if you don't give in to my demands. Mwa. ha. ha." "Took you long enough! Wait, hold up, land's right over...!" The unpleasant man protests loudly as he's taken away by Kale, thrashing about initially until he realizes that thrashing too much could easily result in him becoming the pavement. The bystanders below are, understandably, rather upset at first, but then that turns to confusion when Kale keeps going higher and further away. "Are we screwed?" "M... Maybe?" "Unless he got dropped off at the glue factory or something." "I think that's also super illegal." "Sounds like something a lawyer would say." When the man is finally put down, he shuffles away from Kale to straighten out his drenched suit, then spits on the ground nearby. "That's more like it... Now go on, git. What, you want a medal or something for do-what the hell is this?!" He steps back, staring at Kale aghast when he's threatened at gunpoint! "Do you have any idea what you're doing?! All it'll take is a word, and I'll have you and your Paladins ruined!" Alas, his threat won't hold water for long as Staren gets to work inside his house. Indeed, the man does have a name that's easy for Staren to get and, if she likes, even broadcast what she's doing to name and shame him specifically. Named Man, meanwhile, looks up as that broadcast goes through all sorts of local channels and hits the TVs that are usually set to just blare out breaking news, important weather announcements, and advertisements ad nauseam. It's all fairly distracting, keeping people's attention focused and slowly getting them clued in on what's going on. Some lawyers and bankers ID themselves when the drones come through, and they're quick to get to work with sorting out all the technical and legal matters that they can on such short notice. The physical assets are far less numerous than the electronic ones, and the dirt that's discovered is pretty broad in its scope. Even a little bit of this getting out could topple companies and stir up a widespread rage pandemic against everyone named, so it's probably for the best that none of this stuff actually gets out. ".. Right! We should get going on, too. On the double, people." One of the police captains states in the most stilted voice possible before kneeling by his car and shooting out a tire. "Oh no. That dastardly Cup.. Com... Criminal. How could this have happened. Now we'll never get there in time." Multiple gunshots later, and all police vehicles in that area are no longer working. It's probably not a great idea in hindsight if anything else happens. The barge gets through the water without any issue.
Kale Hearthward	"I know we're only sort of play acting for the record, but did you really have to threaten to pour poisons in the water supply?" says Kale once they're in private. As the assets are sorted out, Kale scribbles down a few things on a page of his notebook, and then tears it off. "Here - improvements for the city," he says, remembering some things from his accelerated deep dive into the city's health a few minutes earlier. "Some new infrastructure here and here, and maybe get a few more garbage trucks out on the road." "That might be an easier thing to funnel funding towards instead of just 'wealth redistribution'."
Staren	By the time Kale arrives Staren's riding in a walker mech, similar to what Kale faced in the Industrial Wastes, to sell the bit. There are also robots with guns. Some aim at Kale. Others take Named Man by the arms and lead him into the house. Staren follows, pointing some kind of energy pistol at the man's back. It's not her usual laser pistol, but it's probably not one Kale recognizes either, as one with a nonlethal stun mode taken from the Union's armory, way back when. "Like Sodium and Chlorine being harmless in the form of table salt, Fluorine, while a deadly gas in elemental form, has a number of harmless compounds -- although also some not-harmless ones that destroy the ozone layer or dissolve your nerves. But these in particular, if they aren't already doing it, I'm going to have to do it anyway, all it'll do is give them better teeth. I figured someone would explain the joke to you when they read the report. I'll take the infrastructure ideas into advisement, but I suspect there are people who could really use the money." As long as Named Man doesn't call the bluff, and transfers what they ask him to, it's all good! Otherwise, she'll have to knock him out and hire a hacker. The dirt is archived to check for any other shady problems that need to be solved, although perhaps that can be done by leaking choice items to the Watch if needed.
Kale Hearthward	"Wait, why am I supposed to know about what gives you better teeth?" asks Kale, who has a beak.
Staren	Staren blank stares. "You didnt' know, that's why you could claim it sounded like a serious threat."
Kukuru	Named Man, true to his abrasive nature, keeps shouting obscenities and threats even when he's brought inside at gunpoint. He's not so foolish as to actually call the bluff, though, since being shot means not being able to use his money! Or plot on how to get it back, considering that it's being funneled out of his accounts through a rather elaborate stageplay between Kale and Staren that gives not only them, but the emergency services of the city plausible deniability when they eventually get called in front of any tribunals about why they didn't do more to stop the Elites. It's because they were freaking Elites. What are cops, firefighters, and EMTs supposed to do in the face of that, especially with someone threatening to fluoridify the waterways? The EMTs are snickering, but if they know anything, they're certainly not telling anyone else about it. It'll take some time for the people of the city to really make use of all that money, but it's certainly something they'll appreciate once the legal shenanigans are taken care of. The lawyers in charge of that aren't going to turn down that payday, after all, and the bankers aiding them are more than happy to use the PR boost considering that they're bankers. Those without much in the way of anything (or literally without anything) might be harder to reach, but growing anti-=lawyer and anti-banker sentiment will keep such greed in check to an extent. All that blackmail material ranges from largely innocuous stuff to more serious breaches of trust, and there's certainly enough for the Watch to work with if they're given any of it. In time, though, the city will recover, and without one person blackmailing everybody into complying with his psychotic whims. Named Man will still try to consolidate what he has left later on, but without his vast stores of money and access to all his dirt... He'll also be getting beaten up a lot until he learns his lesson or crossing the wrong person one night.