Scene #8041: You Weren't Using It, So...

Owner	Pose
KNK	Rose never trusts 'easy' missions, but some are definitely easier than others. This one wasn't specifically requested by anyone. Rather, it was a tip-off from an online source, and she's investigated as well as she can without giving herself away. Supposedly, someone going by the username BigChadEnergy777 is not just always online, but has been perpetually active in full-sensory social media, without more than half an hour off, for the past few weeks. Separate information led to the discovery that BCE most likely lives alone, and has a fully stocked mansion in the upper levels of the city, its creature comforts undoubtedly wasting away while its owner's online habits go terminal. Hacking nearby camera systems supports the notion that nothing sapient has gone in or out for a while, now. Delivery drones, and that's it. This is a quiet neighborhood. A safe neighborhood. But there are holes in the pseudo-random HOA-hired security patrols schedules, and Rose is good at finding those. That provides the window of opportunity. So, why not break in, and see what can't be put to better (i.e., literally any) use? That said, the place is still surrounded by a tall fence, security cameras on an isolated network, alarms wired to alert local authorities, and a high likelihood of hidden turrets, at least once anyone is inside. Someone would have to be a ninja or something to make this look easy.
Karlan Nobles	Easy missions are never as easy as they sound. Routine cleanups are often messier than anything else, and breaking and entering... Well, Pramanix has never necessarily broken anything during her escapes, but she's certainly had experience with that getting back in. This might ust be a bit harder with Silverash joining in on it. Pramanix: "You're worrying too much. We look like we belong here." SilverAsh: "Do we? We barely even know the place." Pramanix: "Because we're relatives. It'll be fine." SilverAsh: "It is rarely fine whenever you say it will be fine." They quiet down once they reach the fence, at least. With Pramanix leading the way while Silverash's eagle watches from the sky, they should have a relatively easy time figuring out which way to go to avoid walking right into the hired security's line of sight. Avoiding the cameras is a little trickier, though since that's going to rely more on the siblings' natural eyesight (or someone else pointing them out). Either way, though, they're spry enough to scramble and climb their way up the fence once they find a less guarded section of it. Whether they manage to do that somewhere that won't trip an alarm is another story!
Rita Ma	Rita heard the words "upper levels", so she's dressed nicely to blend in: button-up white blouse, pleated black skirt, red ribbon tied in her hair. Something on her phone is occupying her attention as she arrives. She chews her lip while staring at the screen, like it requires the utmost concentration to decipher. Finally, she gives up and asks. "Mr. Dwarf? Who's 'Chad'?" Rita has an easy solution for the cameras, at least. Fading into invisibility on her approach, she reaches up to each one with a cloaked tentacle and applies a bit of tentacle-stuff to the lenses. When they fade into opacity, they do so as a perfect static imitation of what's behind them: the old 'loop the camera feeds' trick, but with a physical screen on a lens cap. It should be perfect. With that done, she hops the fence when the guards cooperate, fully secure in her biological invisibility. Her allies might be a different story, though.
Forte	"Right, Rita's got that camera blinded..." Forte moves as soon as he gets confirmation. Unlike Rita, he's not invisible, so there's a risk he'd be spotted. Though also unlike Rita, there's more he can do once he's within reach of one of the cameras. "Jacking in," he intones, and vanishes into the closed circuit network. Time to start messing up the camera feed, the alarms, and pretty much every bit of camera-linked security he can put his digital mitts on.
Redshift Operators	"Finally, we're hittin' back at the worst type of guy." "Ah? And what accursed demographic bears such a burden?" "He's a poster." "Of course. And you have how many chirps on Birdshout?" "Shut up." "We're here." A van, hastily decaled with "Sunny Days Pool Repair", pulls up quickly in one of the HOA-security gaps. A quick ninja with a cybernetic arm and a fellow jogging in a thick astronaut suit approach. The electronic stuff is something that the astronaut is much more specialized for. He instantly brandishes a complex piece of electronics, a Cryptographic Sequencer, and gets to work on messing with the alarms. It won't kill the isolated camera network, but at the least, it can breach the network-to-police connection and make the digital claim that the network's going into diagnostics mode and should be ignored. How they get over the fence, on the other hand, is a matter for the agile precognitive ninja, who uses her future-sight to send phantom images of herself over the fence at multiple places and times, until she can find the way through without triggering the sensors (thanks for the camera loop, Rita), and then grab the astronaut and pull them up and over with her! The gruff gunman leader of the gang who's staying in the car to prepare his guns explains to Rita: "If you say something everyone hates on the internet, you post a picture of a guy with a big chin to say you're better 'cause you don't care as much." He explains concisely over the radio.
Rubi-Kan Vagrants	There are people less suited to stealth approaches than Bercilak, but not many. With imagination, his armored hoverbike might be mistaken for a particularly boisterous engine brake from a semi. Thankfully, he knows better than to bring it within the neighborhood limits. Parking a few blocks away and walking the remainder of the distance, he also has the sense not to wear his armor right away. Instead, he's come wearing dark clothing following 'biker gang' theming, including one of his usual shirts. MY SMILE IS REAL, proclaims a slogan overtop a skeleton with two frothing, full steins of beer. AND SO IS MY ASS, finishes the slogan's second half. Ordinarily, he might simply knock the fence down. Instead, he makes use of his axe to grow a tall, leaning tree. The angle is steep enough that it's possible to just walk right over the fence--more or less. "'Tis not a name one may enseze for theimself," Bercilak quietly counsels Rita, having walked across his little bridge and hopped down. "Forthy art we toknoue, 'tis a bicche which idwells thither." For his part, he's keeping an eye out--not for security, as Tenzin's flight and the advance intel from Rose and Violet will likely have that handled. Rather, he's looking out for any night owls that might be out for midnight strolls. It would be really irritating to get spotted because someone couldn't sleep!
KNK	Pramanix and SilverAsh may or may not have been caught on other cameras in the neighborhood, but they can probably blend in well enough that just seeing them won't raise any alerts. They don't have to hide from the cameras too long before Rita performs a physical hack, opening up an easy opportunity for Forte's digital hack. The software security here is high-quality, but only up to civilian standards, and he makes quick progress mapping out the other security systems on the same network, info he can feed to the others as they get inside. The alarms are another matter, and would cause big problems if reinforcements were summoned, but the astronaut's on that task. There are plenty of other big homes on the same data line. No one should notice this particular one, in a place as quiet as this, spending a little longer than usual on diagnostics. Bercilak is right to look out for night owls -- there is movement through a window across the street, but what can he do about it? Far enough away, with how these mansions are space, that 'across the street' is still too far to hear anything, normally. There's no pedestrian traffic at this particular hour of evening, at least. Getting past the fence without breaking anything gives privacy from neighbors, too. Rose is, as usual, not in the area, herself, but she does have line-of-sight, from where she's invisibly hanging from a support strut on the underside of the next higher level of the city. (Did we mention that the city is constructed of many layers built atop each other, haphazardly overlapping, such that the lowest levels barely get sunlight? That's just the local flavor.) She's ready to warn for both radio and visual evidence of anything heading in, but so far, it's quiet. Violet shimmers into view after the outside cameras are defeated. She's covering her lower face with her scarf, and holding a knife in the other hand, gesturing 'over here' with her fingers. Though it's actually Forte who has the best intel for 'where to enter,' as the interior security is easy to find but harder to disable (without risking alarms that alert everything else). Once pointed to something, her vibroknife is actually pretty quiet when cutting doors, locks, walls, and windows supports.
KNK	The main routes, as will soon become clear one way or another, are: Through the front door, which has enough AI-controlled guns pointed at it to speak to a combination of reckless spending and paranoia. Through a hatch for delivery drones, which definitely won't fit Bercilak and might not fit anyone easily, but has easily-hacked laser trip-wires as the only defense. Through a vehicle garage, which currently has hoverbikes of various sizes, all in excellent condition. It also has alarms hooked up to dispense floating security drones out of the vents, if they're disturbed. Through any of several windows or walls away from the front entrance, leading to less certain patterns of defensive emplacements. There's an android(?) maid in the kitchen. Very poofy dress. Well-armed.
Rubi-Kan Vagrants	There's nothing Bercilak can do about the person awake down the street--but there's also, ideally, nothing he needs to do. The path to their target now clear, he'll cut around a side route if he can--Bercilak is a big man, and does cut a hard-to-miss silhouette. The hatch is a no-go. The front door looks fun--but what looks the most fun is the garage. With the advance information, Bercilak's already making his way 'round the house, quietly chuckling to himself. To his credit, he does make an honest attempt to get in quietly, trying his luck with the garage door. Of course, it doesn't take long for him to just pry it open with the flat of his massive axe. There's a beautiful stable of hoverbikes just waiting to go to better homes. Before attempting to steal them, Bercilak first takes some time to study their control layouts, engines, and overall design--and maybe to appreciate them a little. Working with the intel from Forte, Bercilak taps his axe into the floor. Thick vines, shrubs, and a densely packed spread of jungle flora spread out across the ground, climb up the walls, cling to the ceiling. He's trying to plug up all of the vents, to make stealing the bikes easier!
Karlan Nobles	Fence bypassing, complete! It goes much smoother than the duo had expected, largely thanks to the hacking efforts of Forte and Rita as well as the very normal astronaut taking out the alarms. That gives them ample opportunity to scout the area while figuring out their best path of attack. Naturally, they're going to start disagreeing on how to get in. Pramanix: "The windows are the safest way. Who knows if anyone could fit in the hatches?" SilverAsh: "The greatest rewards lie behind the greatest risks. Besides, would anyone ever expect those of our stature to get in through such a cramped opening?" Pramanix: "No, because I'm... Too tall. And you're definitely too tall for that." SilverAsh: "If height is the problem, then perhaps the garage would be a fitting entrance. Something large enough for a vehicle would surely be large enough for your-" Pramanix: "..." SilverAsh: "... Height." They do come to an agreement eventually, at least, and Pramanix leads Silverash in finding a sneaky path through all the security holes opened by the more tech-savvy members of the crew. Once she spots a suitable window and Silverash confirms it with his eyes in the sky, he starts giving boosts to anyone trying to get in from there while Pramanix peers inside. There's an android maid. Pramanix keeps dangling from the window as she brings out her bell to start calling on the blessings of the snow and... Fling a several small chunks of ice at the ground towards the next room. With any luck, the clattering ice cubes will skip right over there with enough noise to lure the maid out of the kitchen and get the window crew inside the kitchen.
Rita Ma	"Hi, Ms. Violet!" Rita says, dropping her invisibility, waving, and rushing over with an inadvisable level of enthusiasm in her voice. At least it's contagious. "If we're looking for valuable things, it'd make sense to split up, right? Though I guess that means we'll run into more traps too." But Rita considers herself unlikely to get caught, so she might as well pick a different route than all the others. With Bercilak going through the garage, she opts to take the front door, prudently camouflaging herself again before opening the doorknob. She's blissfully oblivious to the guns on the other side, though, and 'not being seen' might not save her from the fact that she's standing in an inexplicably open doorway, especially as they're configured by a paranoiac.
Redshift Operators	The gruff gunman checks the data feed. "All that stuff, and he's spending all his time shitposting. Makes me want to find his rig and put a bullet in him on principle." "That's not our objective." "Yeah, yeah. Alright, find the moneymakers." "The vehicular objective is addressed. Rita Ma will be in the vents. I need to clear the lasers for her." How do they know? They just assume and refuse to acknowledge that she might do anything else. "I'll breach a window. White Dwarf, find a good one." "Of course. The defenses of this fortress are nothing, under my cursed gaze..." The cyborg ninja shotgun-sprays phantom-future-selves into the home, crashing through a dozen windows at once to determine what's behind them, before picking whichever future contains the least difficulty. She makes a mighty leap, then holds out her hand, not even looking as the jogging astronaut tosses tools up to her to mechanically disassemble the entire frame and yank it out to prevent alarms. Rita, despite being a tiny xenomorph, doesn't take the vents. This leads to an approximately ten second delay where the astronaut is staring at their PDA. The ninja has to quickly rappel down, snatch them under one arm, and yank them up while they mutter, "Huh?" Then they both roll through the window, and now it's time to work. With Rita not in the vents, the team's techie can focus on safecracking. The astronaut's cryptographic sequencers and their duffelbag full of tools can burn out all the security of any mechanical and electronic safes, and so safes (and their probable locations) are what they're going to go after as fast as they can.
KNK	This particular maid is very lifelike, for the most part. There are some markings on the synthetic skin that may have been put there just to make it clear to anyone looking that it's an 'it' and not a 'she,' but apart from that, it could be... well, not 'an actual maid,' because this is clearly the sort of dress you'd wear for a photo shoot, not for performing any sort of serious cleaning work. Or even light cleaning work. Or moving too quickly. The maid goes to investigate the ice, leaving Pramanix and SilverAsh to get inside. It then turns to investigate the gunshots -- or rather, the whole network is now aware that 'something strange occurred,' though significant parts of it aren't working properly, having been disabled by the several hackers now interfering with the network. They don't know where Rita is, or even what she looks like, but they won't cycle out of the alert state for at least a few minutes. Though Rose radios in to say they can still avoid a 'loud' exit, that may be a bit different for Bercilak. He has his work cut out for him, even should he choose to make his auto theft a grand spectacle. The vines do stop the drones from coming out, but it's a bit like lightly bothering a beehive. The buzzing is of the little bots trying to clean the obstruction away, to growing agitation. The bikes are of varying quality, though all are clearly hideously expensive, high-performance, sporting and racing pieces. Not very good for long trips without auxiliary fuel tanks, but excellent for tight turns at high speed. He has his pick between the smaller open-top, the one with the sidecar and deployable windshield made of some smart material that doesn't fold so much as melt, and the larger one that's more like a small (flying) car, fully enclosed. The seating even transforms into a lounging mode. All three have some kind of onboard AI that will complain about being stolen, but they're not at all smart. For the ninja -- in fact, for both ninjas currently in the mansion -- getting around at this point still isn't that hard. Precognition and invisibility (Rita's as well as Violet's) are similarly useful. With the network compromised, coverage is far from complete. There's plenty of opportunity to find, break open, and take the contents of safes and locked desk drawers. Data sticks, remote keys, papers and knick-knacks of dubious purpose and value, all of it might as well be stuffed in a bag. The right info, extracted later, is what's really needed for doing something like draining BigChadEnergy777's money numbers into a different, but similarly abstract money number place, as well finding any potentially useful real assets. After Violet splits away (having agreed that that was the smart option), it's Rita who finds a storage area that probably isn't even meant for humans to enter. Robots can get into it easily enough, and only robots -- of which there are a number, presently turned off -- would want to hang around in this tiny room. Now that she's found what Rose asked for, though, there's still the question of how she could either sort through to find what in the stacks and piles of 'spare parts,' from individual connectors to entire limbs (and what look suspiciously like organs) is valuable enough to remove, or else how she's going to take all of it with her.
Rita Ma	Rita opens the door. Her eyes widen as she notices the barrels aimed at her. Several dozen gunshots are compressed into the span of a couple racing heartbeats. To anyone watching, what happens next looks like a rendering error. Ribbons of 'the lawn seen from a distance', of 'a house in the background', of 'the open door', unravel from around Rita's invisible silhouette and move too quickly for the eye to follow. Each bullet emits a spray of sparks as it's deflected, cut, or swatted out of the air individually. The ground behind Rita is littered with shards of metal. Then the turrets become 'shards of metal', too, with extreme force and no obvious vector of attack. And then, finally, Rita reappears, shaken but perfectly unharmed. She takes a second to hug herself and breathe the shivers out, but then proceeds briskly: like Rose said, they need to be quick now that there's been gunshots. In the smaller, robot-filled room, she has to make some snap judgements. Rita's strong enough to lift the whole room and then some, but at her size it'd still be cumbersome to escape with. She compromises, pocketing the things that 'seem valuable'- mostly organs, even though those gross her out- and then bringing a huge stacked double-armful of 'basically everything else in the room' back out to the garage, where the green knight is. "Mr. Bercilak! You're leaving on your bike, right? Is there room for some of these on the back?" Delegation! Probably not all of them will survive the harrowing chase he's about to go on, but as long as some do, that's a win.
KNK	While Pramanix does have free rein of the kitchen, with the maid distracted, determining what would be good to remove from this place requires having a sense of what alcohol is worth its weight. At least all the (probably not medicinal) drugs are a safe bet as being valuable for someone. Looks like someone was having a little party and then never cleaned up. How safe or lethal they are is unclear without a lot more local information than she has available, but the resident is known, at least, to still be alive.
Rubi-Kan Vagrants	Why choose? As the buzzing grows louder and more agitated, the grinning, unarmored knight climbs astride the nose of the enclosed bike. Yes, the nose--rather than drive in it, he's straddled the exterior of the largest one, thighs keeping a superhumanly strong grip. His axe is lain across the three bikes, a crude effort made to keep them from outpacing each other. It also allows both of his handsto operate the controls of the two smaller bikes. In the midst of his preparations, the noisome buzzing of the drones is interrupted with a welcome sound. Bercilak manages a wide smile for Rita. Reaching around behind him, he pats the screen of the bike he's presently straddling. "Hel yea, sib," he says encouragingly. "Pursen hit withinne." If he's not going to be riding it in the usual sense, there's no reason to let that space go to waste. Not exactly a cargo van, but it can hold a few things for sure! "And thither," he says, nodding to the sidecar on one of the smaller bikes. The loot bequeathed, there is little warning for Rita, as is so often the case with Bercilak. All he gives her is a smile, red eyes glimmering with barely contained glee. Time to skedaddle! "GATE FUCKED, COKEWOLD!" he bellows at the top of his lungs. It is certainly loud enough for someone to hear inside, at this hour. That's the point! "REMEIN OFGREMED! BAHAHA!" Bercilak guns the ignition of the two smaller bikes, barreling through the garage door headfirst (don't want to damage them!) with the unmistakable loud warble of their engines filling first the garage, then the neighborhood. Keeping hold of the largest bike and essentially towing it through his own strength and the torque of the other bikes, he makes a noisy, distracting exit, taking corners with terrifying aggression considering the sheer, unfilterd id demonstrated in the manner of his theft. Crossing through the yard is an adventure in itself, using the axe as a 'corrective' measure when the bikes (and their added cargo) can't turn tightly enough. The side of the house soon bears a mark from one of these 'corrective measures,' and it's a mark left loudly--to much belly-laughter. His route is deliberately attention-drawing, made in such a way as to lead any would-be responders on a merry chase firmly away from the rest of the Watch.
Karlan Nobles	Pramanix: "What a curious design..." SilverAsh: "The aesthetics are strong, but its form has so much wasted potential." Pramanix: "I thought you enjoyed that kind of flashiness." SilverAsh: "I do. Just not when I want something to do a specific job." Once the coast is clear (enough), the nobles drop in and get a quick look around the kitchen to see which way they can go with the maid heading towards the ice and then the sounds of gunshots. They exchange cautious glances at the latter noises, hold their breaths upon realizing who those shots were intended for, then exhale simultaneously upon hearing who those shots were intended for. It won't have them not worry at all, but they're confident in what they've seen of Rita in the past. With Bercilak on the job of leading the pursuers away, meanwhile, Pramanix and SilverAsh can focus their efforts on searching for valuables or even the physical media that Rose (or was it Violet? Pramanix is pretty sure it's Violet, but SilverAsh knows it's Rose) mentioned earlier. SilverAsh keeps his sword drawn as they begin checking around the kitchen, noticing the various types of alcohol all over the place. Fortunately for them, they're both rich assholes, and they both know the value of a good vintage. What's far more likely to actually be useful, though, are all the drugs. Pramanix gets the jump on SilverAsh and slips off her jacket to start gathering the questionably medicinal substances into it, then ties it up into a big hobo bindle. SilverAsh can't quite hide his disapproval at the waste of a perfectly good jacket, but it does leave his open for snagging the oldest and most valuable alcohol that he can identify. That gets a disapproving look from Pramanix, though, as she notices that he's NOT tying it up in a bindle. Pramanix: "What are you doing?" SilverAsh: "Holding my acquisitions properly." Pramanix: "Just tie it up. It'll be easier to hold." SilverAsh: "It would be demeaning to the craft. It-" Pramanix: "We're stealing it. I don't think the wine will care." Once they're done, Pramanix leads them onwards again, going in the opposite path of the maid to finish the escape segment of their virtuous burglarizing mission! Some part of SilverAsh is concerned about Pramanix actually seeming to know what she's doing with all this skulking around in the shadows. Another part of him is actually relieved, but not so relived that he's going to drop his guard. If something or someone that doesn't register in his vision as his target gets in the way, he's going to immediately resort to some variation of stabbing. Knowing that the gunfire might have probably been taken care of, they'll head out through the way that Rita came in.
Redshift Operators	The astronaut is reciting as they pick things up: "Data stick. Documents. Data stick. Electronics. Documents. Data stick." Their voice is even, monotoned, focused. And unfortunately, as the timeline shifts and the network moves into an alert, the ninja has to jostle them on the shoulder firmly. "Enough. Time to run." The astronaut slings their duffelbag over their shoulder. Too many scattered alarm systems in here, this duo needs the extra time to escape! Disassembling an entire window carefully but quickly is an agonizing process, but yet another gets undone and shoved outwards, the fastest way to bypass window security, and then they're both leaping out! The ninja deftly pulls them both into a harsh but ultimately safe roll on impact. Another mad dash, and another swift hop over the fence, with the more agile ninja this time giving the astronaut a leg up, robot hand laced tight with organic. By the time she executes her elaborate backflip, the van's pulled closer, with the loot-laden astronaut diving into the back, while a seven foot titan of a man emerges, ready to easily catch however much cargo Rita has to hand off if she'll toss it their way. They should be able to evade and escape quickly, as long as nobody minds Sunny Days Pool Repair moving a little unnervingly fast in the streets.
Rita Ma	As much loot as she can practically bequeath is piled onto the Green Knight's bikes; she waves him off with a preciously sunny smile- "Good luck, Mr. Bercilak!"- and then gathers up the rest. It's less than she started with, but the Redshifts still get to see Rita deftly hop the fence while carrying a hundred pounds worth of chrome treasure. She's right after them to clamber into the van, then sighs in relief as she hands it off to Red Giant and buckles up. "Thanks, Ms. Dwarf. Thanks, Mr. Star," she murmurs. "Everyone did great, right?" Judging by the way her knee bounces restlessly, she's still riding the trailing end of an adrenaline rush. Being around friends helps with the jitters, though. "I hope Ms. Violet and Ms. Rose will be okay. But I'm sure they know what they're doing."
KNK	Rita's judgment to bring the organs isn't bad. Fortunately, though they look a bit unsettling from any angle, they're made for dry, open storage. Rather than 'wet,' the ones that aren't actually metal just feel like weird, smooth bags, filled with something. Staying invisible, and the guns having been sliced apart, gives her an easy time getting out to join first Bercilak, and then the Redshift Operators. Violet, being both exceptionally fast and exceptionally sneaky, is right out there to give her rucksacks of looted items to the giant. Though safely retrieved, it will later be revealed that she forgot her original instructions and only grabbed what she personally thought looked interesting, while Rose was too distracted to give her precise guidance. For a small mercy, the glass objects are wrapped inside the maid outfit she pilfered, and will probably not break, even during a speedy getaway. "Oh, you took -- all three. I'm looking at it, and I still can't believe it." Rose transmits an annotated map to Bercilak, as she said she would, indicating a route out of here that only someone on a hoverbike could reasonably take. There's a lot of verticality to the (definitely dangerous and probably illegal) street race indicated, which includes (someone's, probably not hers) notes about when to begin each turn and where to try for a pass. Whether it can be done at all by someone riding three bikes at once, she doesn't know, but that's up to the Green Knight's riding skills. He'll wind up somewhere at least difficult for the security firm to reach, and he'll have a decent head start. Which leaves things a lot quieter in every other direction. There's no one actually in SilverAsh's way, fortunately. The door is left open, and its alarms were already tripped. Rose sends an entirely different set of driving directions to Red Dwarf, to be relayed as needed, suitable for a van and just barely out of the way of incoming patrols. Violet hitches a ride, climbing into a corner and humming to herself.