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Operator     The following events take place from 11:01pm Christmas Eve.

    The Center for Observation of Holiday Manifestations (COHM) are doing their annual observation of Santa's flight to all the homes in the Multiverse. Satellites with extreemely high shutter speed cameras are employed to rapidly photograph the superplanet's airspace to catch glimpses of the jolly man's FTL travel. It is thanks to their efforts that the moment of Santa Claus' capture was recorded.

    While in flight over an instance of New Mexico, a series of fireworks are launched into the sky nearby. Santa Claus slows down to mundane speeds to enjoy the spectacle, when an artillery shell fired from a separate point on the ground strikes his sleigh. He and his reindeer crash to the ground, unable to regain control. Men emerge from under the cover of trees and take Santa into custody, along with his reindeer.

    Now, things like this aren't uncommon. Every few years, someone has a go at being the person who ruins Christmas. Embittered loners, insane CEOs, that kind of thing. The COHM are able to track the kidnappers and identify the compound that Santa is taken to as belong to Sammy "The Match" Mitchell, a notorious drug lord. Taking the compound will be a challenge, but the COHM have a special hotline for contacting Elites to handle holiday-related emergencies. A notice is posted to the Syndicate, with the co-ordinates to the compound, and information on what the Elites can expect.

    But 10 minutes after posting it, the notice is updated.

    A spaceship had been following Santa's sleigh as best it could. A massive rustbucket, painted every possible shade of red, with 'KLOUDKRUMPA' crudely scratched into the paintwork on its side. It saw the saint being shot down, and now the ship has crash-landed into the drug lord's compound. Tides of hulking green brutes then began pouring out and tearing into the compound's security with an onslaught of bullets and crude melee.

    These are apparently 'Orks,' a crude spacefaring race that only cares about the next war to fight. The danger rating (and payout) of the notice is immediately raised. Who knows what these aliens want with Santa, but it's not good.

    The Elites arrive just in time to see the Orks overcome the defences in the front. A lot of dead men and automated weapons lay at their feet as the air fills with cries of "WAAAAAAAAAAGH!" One of them, much bigger than the others, with a massive covered hump on his hunched back, begins pointing at the compound. "Don't ya get cocky ya gitz! Now get in dere and find Da Red One! An' remember, we want 'im ALIVE! No bitin', no 'ittin' and NO DAKKA 'OLES! Any of ya 'oo do anyfink to 'im gets krumped!"
Remee Halcyon "Orks?" says Remee, when the notice is updated. "Hang on, I think I've heard something about them... do we have any red paint?"

SHORTLY

A wolf makes its way in alongside the ork waves, running in as if it belongs there. And why shouldn't it belong there, after all? The wolf has WAAGH DOGGY painted on its side, in red. It also has red racing stripes painted on it, so it'll go faster. Obviously therefore it's part of the ork horde and you shouldn't question it.

The WAAGH DOGGY makes her way in, pacing herself to let the ork horde take the brunt of the defenses, but not staying too far from the front so she can intercede when they actually do find Santa.
Ishirou Ishirou gets the warning, being adjacent to Christmas crimes this year because of SOME PERSON.  Thankfully, it wasn't so bad...until now.  The R.E.S.C.U.E. Unit flies off, combined into a mecha flight configuration and set into a flying mode rather than its more humanoid configuration.  It flies overhead toward the druglord's location...

Which gets updated right as he's about to land, seeing already on sight that the Orcs have arrived.  They want to capture Santa...why..?

These monsters, who live off war and do nothing but look for their next fight want Santa..?  Why..?  There has got to be something to this, even if it's stupid and inane. Ishirou sighs and starts moving as quickly as possible, aiming to hover and aim a hand down towards the person talking.

He attempts to biohack him, trying to figure out what the actual motive even is.  
Aidan Proudpick Aidan sits in a small workshop. It's pretty airy, a little cold. Guns line the walls. Aidan is sitting under a heat blanket, along with a few others sitting under heavy blankets. A small fire sits in the center, and everyone is watching a tablet.

A lean rabbit squints her eyes at the screen. "So Scrooge hates Christmas because his family hates him and because he devoted his entire life to money, now he has to give it all away. I agree with the message, but he is very old, he's not going to live THAT much longer. Or is it that we should bully rich people into giving it away by threatening them?"

"I think it's just 'be nice or you'll die'", a skunk replies.

Aidan's own phone beeps as he opens up mouth up to reply. "Oh, dang it. Someone is threatening Christmas again. It might be Hearthward. I might be able to take him out!"

The other two glance at the squirrel, the rabbit opening her mouth up first. "Don't you think you are a little too focused on him?"

"No! He... he did shoot Santa. And someone should save Christmas too! Even if it isn't him." He has to pause to make sure it IS just that. Yes, okay.

NOW.

The squirrel is fully equipped, the Lion's Roar buckler on his arm, and the steampunk equivalent of an SMG on his hip, leather armor tightened up.

Everyone else goes in stealthy.

Aidan stands at the front, pointing down at the large green men. He takes a moment to look to see if they HAVE Santa. He strikes a heroic pose, pointing, abojut to open his mouth when he sees no one has anyone.

So he jogs just slightly behind them, rather than immediately interact.
Alexis Santa being followed. Then Santa disappearing. And two crazy forces colliding over the matter.

Yeah, it's going to be one of -those- Christmas' appearently.

Fortunately travel speed is not something they lack, and shortly after the alerts a set of large paws are beating stride across the ground. Red ones do go faster!... Okay Arcanine is technically orange and striped but with agility and capable of reaching exceptional speeds despite being larger than a bear makes the firebeast a reliable means of travel.

Even when it's right into the middle of a wild battle already raging as the Orcs are advancing on some compound. Why is Santa there? We'll have to worry about that problem when we get to it. "Go Fireguard, we need to get ahead of their advance." Alexis hunches down as her pokemon mount continues to charge ahead, reaching back to pluck another pokeball from her belt. "This will at least slow them down a little. Go, Undermine!" She tosses the spheroid ahead, releasing a large reddish crocadilian who stands and roars. "Use Stealth Rock!" Alexis adds as her Arcanine skids to stop past the other pokemon. Undermind does so, dropping down to dig his claws into the ground. Which doesn't have an obvious effect.

Until Orcs charging start to cross the threshold of his proximity. THAT's when the jagged stone spikes burst out of the ground, hurtling at the alien invaders in their vicinity like earthen fragmentation mines. It's a tactical use of Entry Hazards.
Ritsuka Fujimaru "What's with all these people? Can't they just leave a fat old bastard alone for one night?" Jeanne mutters in unveiled irritation as she finishes reading the notice on her phone in one hand, Ch*ck*rs bag dangling from the other. With an annoyed grimace, she slips the phone away and is about to resume eating on the way to the compound when the notice updates, as she's started reading it about 9 minutes after the posting.

"... 'Orks'? Weird way of spelling that." She comments to herself and fishes out a little hotdog container of fries and chicken srtips, sneering slightly at the sight of it. "And there's barely anything in here. Tch. Whatever, I'll just pick more up after... Oh?"

There's corpses outside the compound. There's also big screaming guys outside the compound, too, and they seem to be looking for the same person. Jeanne takes her time finishing her stuff as more Elites show up to address the orks, watching their varied approaches idly while even recognizing a few of them, and it's not until the squirrely one shouts his demands that she, too, finally gets her head into the game.

"Are you trying to kidnap that old man in red, too? Whoever's inside beat you to the punch already, but I'm sure we'll have plenty to fight over after we track him down." With a wave of her hand and a swirl of flames from below, Jeanne changes from her civvie clothes into her more combat-appropriate suit of black armor in an instant, flag and sword already drawn.

She's not actually sure if any of them are the kidnappers at this point, but it doesn't matter too much. She just looks ready for a fight.
Operator     "'ey Boss, deres a dog 'ere!"

    The arrival of Remee inspires confusion in the Orks, but the moment that the ones that are literate notice the painting on her side, the information spreads.

    "Nevuh 'eard of a WAAAAGH! Doggy!"

    "Is a blessin' from Gork and Mork!"

    The choruses of WAAAGH! Only grow louder, the Orks reaching a fervent fury. Only the Warboss seems a little unimpressed, but he's not gonna say anything that might break morale.

    Ishirou finds the Orks child play to hack. Their minds are simple, and one-directional. The one in charge is a 'Flyboy' called Revvah Vahrum. A Warboss obsessed with speed, he has attracted a small band to his side, ever in pursuit of means to go faster. It seems that he wants to meet Santa to learn the secrets of how he goes so fast. A slightly dull reason, but it explains the attack. Unfortunately, Ishirou is spotted while doing his biohacking, and a torrent of bad language, rude hand signs, and bullets fly up at him!

    The arrival of Ishirou now has the Orks on-guard, so they spot Aiden behind them. "Screw off, fuzzball!" one barks, shaking his fist. "Yeah! We'z on a rescue mission! No place for softies!" another adds. They don't shoot immediately though. Maybe because they consider someone on ground level less of a threat. Or maybe it's the fur.

    This distraction does give Alexis the time she needs to arrive and set up. The Orks stare at her atop her mount and begin yelling. "You wiff da kidnapper?!" "Take ya dog and piss off ya git! It ain't nuffin' compared to our WAAAAGH! Dog!" Some of them do surge forward to attack her, only to get spiked by the rocks, causing Revvah to pinch his large nose and sigh.

    Finally, someone just walks up to talk to the Orks. Jeanne faces an onslaught of "'umies go home!" with the 'humie' being delivered like a slur, but Revvah answers the question. "Just wanna ask 'im some questions 'sall. If he answers, you 'uimes can have your 'holiday. Now, iffn' you ain't wiff 'dis lot," He gestures at Ishirou, Aiden, and Alexis here, "'Den help us save Krustmus! Rush 'em boyz!"

    With another earsplitting WAAAAAAGH! The Orks begin to rush the compound, spikes and Alexis be damned. An Arcanine is big, but Orks are big too, big enough that getting knocked down and trampled underfoot is a serious concern.
Alexis That didn't slow them down for very long. A few Orcs maybe out of the fight for a bit, but then the charge is back on. Fortunately Alexis didn't get off of Fireguard's back, and he's able to use his speed and Agility to rush out of the way of the resuming charge. Undermine takes a similar evasive measure by burrowing straight into the ground and living up to his name to get clear of the Orc stampede.

"Okay, someone please explain what the hell just happened?" She looks towards Ishirou whom she at least knows to some degree. "If they're trying to 'rescue' Santa... who are they rescuing him -from-?" She always seems to be a slight bit out of the loop since she's been keeping herself out of the factional matters the last couple of years.
Ishirou Ishirou gets some things fired at him.  Rude gestures, bullets, and names...nothing he hasn't weathered before.  He rolls the R.E.S.C.U.E. Unit around to avoid the shots but does not aggress...yet.  "Woah Woah, I'm not on the dealer's side.  In fact.." he says, lowering down.  "I'm willin' to help you and your...boyz out.  If you keep it to just asking Santa, alright?  No violence or anything against the man."

"I can tell your boys exactly where to go, and give them a massive advantage to getting your man, without harming him if they do what I say.  We then can get out of here and everyone can get what they want," a pause, "How about it?  Let me direct your boyz...UNDER your command, and we'll all get what we want."

"I can see through walls, I can find out where they're hiding in ambush, and where the man is himself.  Info gatherin' is my name and game...well not literally, but it's what I'm good at," In fact to prove himself he does a quick scan of the building...and attempts to locate some of the drug dealer's people near the Orc forces.

He'll then point it out to the Ork Warboss.  
Remee Halcyon Yes! WAAGH DOGGY is much better than any arcanine. Crush stupid humie firedog.

... Oh, right, not actually here with the Orks. She's still better than any arcanine, though.

For *now*, she runs along with the Orks, not breaking her cover... not breaking her cover, but breaking plenty of other things by slamming into them, smashing up the bad guys' place both to cement her usefulness as an actual WAAGH DOGGY, and also because smashing things is fun when you can do it guilt-free.
Ritsuka Fujimaru The Orks are already starting to fire at the other Elite responders, and Jeanne's about ready to settle into a fighting stance when the leader actually explains himself. Rather than just blowing them off and starting to stab and/or immolate the nearest person, she actually holds her fire for once, instead taking a moment to sort through what she knows.

Santa's been kidnapped. That much is obvious. The job's been updated because of the arrival of these Orks. The slur-like intonation of their chants have her imagining what they'd smell like on fire, but their leader is quick enough to actually get her attention and answer her question.

Reasonably, even. "Is that so? If you're really here to save Ch... Krustmus and speak to him, then..."

Jeanne weighs her options for a few more second, then shrugs and starts approaching the compound at a relaxed pace. "Why not. Just don't get in my way, or you'll only have yourselves to blame!" She starts to jog, then breaks into a sprint as flames surround her armor. Rushing right past Ishirou and the Arcanine, she joins the WAAGH doggo and the orks in just smashing the everloving shit out of the place, punching into doors and turning her flames on any particularly stubborn doors in their way to melt them down right on the spot.

"Don't waste so much time thinking. If we crack every door open, we'll find them eventually!"
Aidan Proudpick "Okay, I expected it from all those pretty people who hunt after the Grail or whatever, but not here!" Aidan smoothes his hair back. He works VERY hard on his image to be taken VERY serious and as a BIG DEAL.

It takes a while for Aidan to get what is going on, because he has to parse the bad cockney accent into actual words. "Oh. Okay, no wait, that sounds... fine? That sounds fine." Aidan reveals his complete ignorance of Orkz on the radio. "I think that sounds good? Yea."

He waits for Ishirou to start pointing things out. He isn't really skilled at a big rescue operation like this. So he at least prepares. He breathes. It is a push, an exhalation of breath, a will of power that makes the buckler roar to life like an engine. Like a lion. The small buckler unfolds into a massive round shield with a lion's head.

"Yea..." He watches Jeanne go with gusto, looking back at Ishirou. He doesn't wait until the Warboss makes a choice.

The Lion's Roar... well, it roars. It gives off a sheet of energy that pushes off the sides of it like a rocket. And Aidan aims the shield in that direction, which does not care for things like 'physics' or 'gravity' or 'a wall', already tearing forward.
Operator     Alexis asks for context, who gets it from Ishirou, who introduces himself properly to the Warboss. The large fellow rubs his massive chin as he examines Ishirou, before eventually giving a shrug. "More da merrier I sayz! But don't even fink about any funny stuff! I'z more cunnin' dan Gork, and more brutal dan Mork!"

    Ishirou's scan reveals no life within the compound itself. It seems like all the guards were sent out to die in the initial wave. However, he does discover a deep shaft below the compound, descending into the cliff it is built on, so deep that the rock starts eating his scans. If he wants a clearer picture, he'll have to get down there.

    Remee, Jeanne, and Aiden just begin trashing the place, an act the other Orks encourage with gusto. Once it's clear that the 'fuzzballs' and ''umies' are cool (something that Revvah barks at them, shooting one that was about to pull a chunky, kitbashed gun on them in the back), they let them partake. But it's a real moshpit in there. Orks are huge, and they don't give a damn who gets in their way. Several of them fall into small scraps with each other when one smacks or elbows another accidentally.

    But it is eventually Remee who finds a button behind a painting she claws. Pressing it causes the floor of the compound to open, revealing a funicular that descends down the shaft Ishirou discovered. Several Orks literally just throw themselves into the hole without using the elevator, causing Revvuh to scoff and smash the console until it works. And then when it turns out that the weight of the Orks, plus the Elites is too much, he starts shoving more down until it descends.

    It's a long ride, too long to be standing around brutal, smelly Orks. Revvuh grumbles the whole time, talking about 'improvements' he would make. "Nuffin good ever came from puttin' brakes in movin' things," he complains, and insists that the thing needs a red paint job, and rocket engines on both sides. But eventually, it reaches its end.

    Deep in the cliff is a massive warehouse. It's dark in here, but there's only one sign of life, and it's clearly obvious. Sammy "The Match" Mitchell sits high above his guests in his white suit with purple cravat, the well-tailored ensemble hiding the rolls of his fat. He's lit by dim lights, sitting in a chair, but what that chair stands upon is unclear. He puffs on a massive cigar as he spreads his hands in welcome.

    "Merry Christmas, my Elite friends! You've seen fit to escort these home invaders to me I see. How kind of you, how kind. I'll see to it that they're turned over to the proper authorities. You may go now, with my deepest thanks."

    "Cram it, ya slimy git!" Revvuh barks back, shaking his fist. "Dey knowz you kidnapped Da Red One! De'yre 'ere to 'elp us git him back! Now 'and 'im over, and git down here to take ya propa lumps! Or else you get da WAAAAAAAAAGH!" His Boyz echo the warcry, filling the vast room with the echoing sound.

    "Oh dear... is that what he told you? My Elite friends, I only wished to save Santa Claus from these marauders. Yes, perhaps my methods were a bit harsh, but the man is nothing if not driven. It is that level of intervention that is necessary to stop him on his appointed route." His words ooze slime, but he sounds terribly reasonable...
Ishirou Ishirou nods to the Warboss.  "If you don't try to harm Santa I'm not going to try anything funny.  Simple as..." Ishirou says as he starts scanning.  "Ah there, that building your boys went into is empty now, but there is a connecting tunnel...there.  I'll ping it on your map.  While you get there I'll start scouting ahead."

A portal into his dimensional pocket opens up, and out comes a drilling vehicle.  It splits as the flight unit's parts disconnect and reform into a plane-looking object.  The drill car disassembles and connects to the R.E.S.C.U.E. Unit, and the flight unit flies into the dimensional pocket.

Immediately, the now burrow_ok unit digs into the ground and starts buzzing towards the deep traces of the underground building, mapping out once he can get close enough.  Once they get close to the boss, he'll dig into the room and drop down out of the hole he made.  

The man does speak... reasonably.  Though there is something slimy about his words.  He didn't get anything out of the Warboss so he holds up a hand.  "Maybe this is a misunderstanding.." he says, and while doing this, attempts to biohack Sammy.  

First, is he lying about what he just said, and where is Santa?  
Ritsuka Fujimaru Breaking stuff is never a bad time for Jeanne. It ultimately doesn't take her anywhere near who or what she's looking for, but it's liberating, and it's still for a greater purpose than just doing it for the hell of it.

It just smells a lot worse than she'd prefer, but at least she's not the only one that has to suffer through it. She's sorely tempted to just ignite the whole place the longer they go without finding anything, but the discovery of the funicular is enough to hold her flames at bay.

"What kind of messed up elevator is this?" Clearly, she's never seen such a thing before, but the design of it all keeps her distracted from the smell for a little while longer at least. "This thing really doesn't go fast enough. I get the rockets, but the paint job...?"

Yes, she's indirectly asking for what red has to do for speed. She might even listen, depending on how long it takes to get to the warehouse in question. Once they're there, however, Jeanne gets her sword readied again while stopping off to the side momentarily to get some air that isn't horribly ork-scented.

Greeted by the original captor, Jeanne purses her lips slightly as she listens to those slimy, yet reasonable words. Unfortunately, Jeanne is not a paragon of reasonableness, and instead of actually giving his words any thought-

"Yes, yes, I'm sure you had a wonderful reason for kidnapping him. Anyway." She conjures up a flaming spear in her hand, then hurls it right at him with all the force of... Someone hurling a flaming spear really, REALLY hard. Someone has to test the defenses, after all. "Bring him out, or you'll wish you weren't wearing something so flammable!"
Alexis Seems initial misunderstandings are quickly cleared up. Especially when the Orkz have plenty else to direct their destructive urges towards.

Alexis slides down off Fireguard's back, giving his ears a ruff before returning him to a pokeball. Ishirou mentions digging to get to the deeper location. "Burrowing sounds like a good idea." She whistles, and her Krookodile pokes back out of the ground where he'd dug in to avoid the Orkz stampede. "They'll probably have most of their attention on the big guys."

Alexis stradles the croc's back, laying down against his body to keep the profile streamline. "Dig, follow him," she commands, pointing at Ishirou's drilling machine heading into the ground. Undermine grunts a confirmation, and leaps up to more or less 'dive' to get back into the ground at a downward angle. It's like some weird combination of digging and swimming that the Krookodile does to rapidly tunnel down, matching the angle of the drilling machine, and coming out in relatively the same spot as Ishirou does.

... Yeah, she's dealt with enough wanna be crimelords (goddamn Team Rocket) to immeadiately not like this guy, reasonable sounding or not. "Uh huh. Two wrongs don't exactly make a right you know." But other than that lets the talking be done by... well, better suited people are short in supply, but Revvuh's bellowing is going to draw plenty of attention on it's own. Undermine just stands up next to her, showing a lot of sharp teeth in that crocodile mouth. Even with a lot of big burly Orks with armor and guns he manages to look pretty intimidating.
Remee Halcyon The WAAGH DOGGY growls at the crime boss.

She's seen and heard enough like him, including within her own sphere of influence, to pick up on 'I've been caught, but let me spin this so that it sounds like I've been doing the right thing all along'.

Granted the Orkz aren't any angels either, but - one thing at a time.
Aidan Proudpick "It's for old people, you know, who can't climb ladders," Aiden offers when they are in the elevator, standing around. Ork sweat smells... weird, obviously. He is watching this SMASHY SMASHY lifestyle first hand, feeling rather detached. This is uh... damn. He can only just sort of stand there a little awkwardly next to several wierd dogs, the Redeemer but with tits, a lot of large... men.

Ishirou cheats because Burrow is bullshit.

He finally gets off the elevator, looking at the assembled party, then back up at the very fat man. Then he pulls out a tablet. He starts reading off the mission briefing right there.

"COHM tracks Santa down to you... they identify is as your compound, you have Santa hidden, and they identify that you are the one is taking Santa... and then a ten full minutes until they say the Orkz are attacking." He says the 'kz'. Aidan stuffs his tablet back into his armor. "Also, come on, I've never heard of a single drug lord being reasonable. Except that Saul Goodman guy. But he's a lawyer. Not a drug lord."

FLAMING SPEAR PURGE ATTEMPT.

"Yea, how about you just bring him out. And we won't have to... beat anyone up or hurt anyone, they can ask their questions, and we can just go home. I want to get back from Christmas, it's me and mine's first Christmas! And I don't, you know..." He gestures with the gun and shield weapons of massive destruction, "Get on the naughty list!"
Operator     "Cuz da red ones go fasta! Don't you 'umiez know anyfink?" Revvuh says to Jalter, as one would imagine an Ork would talk to an Ork toddler. All the others nod along immediately with this assertion, as if it were as obvious a statement as "the sky is blue."

    IAt the bottom, Ishirou biohacks Sammy, and immediately discovers he is lying through his teeth, but it's still not as simple as it seems on his face. Did he shoot down Santa to protect him? No, absolutely not. But did he shoot down Santa for himself? Also no. Santa is the bait. The Orks are his true aim.

    Orks exhibit a strange psychic phenomenon. Essentially, if they believe something should happen, it will. Their guns, though ramshackle, work perfectly and never jam because they believe they will. Their red-painted vehicles go faster because they believe red ones go faster. Sammy wants to capture a large amount of them, lobotimize them, and utilize this innate psychic potential to his own ends.

    But even before he can relay this, Jeanne is throwing burning spears around. The chair Sammy is in suddenly lurches to the side, the sounds of something big and mechanical echoing in the dark. It misses, impacting something beside him, and he scowls. "Well, at least one of you has some cajones. Rest of you playing wait-and-see... well, no matter."

    The lights come on, and reveal that Sammy's chair is in the chest of a gigantic mech.

    "Oh bugger! Scatter boyz!" Revvuh shouts, as the suit hatch closes, shielding Sammy. An arm raises, the fingers on the hand arranging to form the multiple barrels of a minigun. Rapid fire gunshots chew up the funicular. No escape."

    "Right, you morons. Face down, hands on head, and I won't kill ya!" Sammy's voice echoes from speakers in the robot. "Shove off ya git! Orks don't bow to no one! WAAAAAAAAGH!" Revvuh retorts, the warcry resounding as the Orks open fire in return, their bullets bouncing off the robot.
Ishirou Ishirou stares at the situation as it unfolds.  

"My god...you are never getting off the naughty list man.  Like...wow..." he says, just aghast at how evil this man is.  However, he does have to respect the aesthetic.  

Super Robots are Cool.

However, Ishirou activates the drills on the R.E.S.C.U.E. Unit and drills down, aiming to try and get away from being shot while his scans go off.  He's attempting to locate the general abilities of the machine, and it's structural weak points, and then give those out to his allies through a HUD update.  

He also attempts to hack the machine, aiming to establish a connection so he can start uploading nasty viruses.
Aidan Proudpick "It's not! I'm practicing my diplomacy!" Aidan throws up his arms. "I'm trying REALLY HARD to not be judgmental, I'm trying REALLY HARD to be a knight here, to be respectful and give everyone a chance to live and let live and everything like that." He flips over his arm. On the back of the leather bracer is the code he and his team came up with. He moves down it, mouthing to himself, 'Does that count as arrogant and boastful? Shit.' Aidan is sweating hard.

He puts his fist to his head and pounds on it. Focus. He keeps his shield up, the energy dispersing any projectiles to either side of the shield as he starts looking for doors. Just as the best answer here was to 'not cave in to either side', Aidan realizes that 'just saving the person in danger' is probably the key.

So Aidan does what his Breath Weapon does best. Find a door or a hatch or a gate and fly towards it at full speed with no understand of 'friction' or 'limited inertia'.
Alexis Oh, there it is.... and it turns out to be another scummy crime boss with a super robot armor. Cliche.

Then there's gunfire. Alexis hits the deck while Undermine just toughts through it, bullets rattling against his thick scaley hide while shielding his Trainer. A few bullets dig deeper, and Undermine bellows in response, eyes flaring with anger

A few moments is all Alexis needs to formulate an on the spot strategy. Sounds like some of the shots hit hard enough to be a critical wound, thus triggering Krookodile's Anger Point ability and driving his attack strength up with infuriation. So all she really has to do is say "Sic 'im."

Undermine roars, and proves what kind of swift predator a crocadilian can be as he lunges forward, massive jaws lashing to clamp down on one of the robot's arm/guns. A bite force strong enough to crush regular steel plates, and with no intent to let go as Undermine twists his upper body, not able to quite do the croc 'death roll' with the robot but he can twist the weapon arm away from the others in the room, if not rip the limb off entirely.
Ritsuka Fujimaru "Red ones go... Faster. Hm." Although Jeanne is pretty sure that's now how colors or speed work, she's not about to dispute what might very well be a matter of faith. Besides, it's not like she would know that, in their exact case, this is entirely factual.

She'll just have to find that out when Ishirou reveals why Sammy is after Santa (or the Orks, once that's revealed). It takes a while for her to really comprehend that, but it.. No, it still doesn't make a lot of sense to her, and trying to wrap her mind around such a bizarre fact of their existence is just going to cause her more headaches.

"Cajones? Hah! Tell me something I didn't already know!" Grinning smugly at Ishirou and Aidan and Alexis, she plants her flag into the ground as the mechanical monstrosity starts coming into view. "You've got quite the impressive looking toy there, but I really hope you don't think that's going to save you. So what if your guns are-"

Sammy starts firing, and Jeanne actually has to move. Luckily, the Orks are larger than she is, so she'll just use them for cover while getting a better idea of how devastating those minigun fingers are. The answer: Quite! Enough that she even takes a moment to bide her time and conjure up more of those flaming spears.

The Orks' bravery (or madness) in the face of such firepower, though, seems to set something off in the Dragon Witch. "You've got a lot of nerve starting this shit just before Christmas, you know, but I'll thank you for the bonus in advance!" And so, she charges right at Sammy's mech, hurling those flaming spears up at the machine's chest while drawing closer to the legs herself. There, Jeanne brings up more of those ominous purple flames around herself, then focuses them in on the mech itself to see how well it stands up to someone trying to melt right through/into it.

"Hacker boy! Monster girl! Squirrel... Uh. Squirrel! Don't even think about running now!"
Remee Halcyon Wait, doing what with the Orkz? That's not WAAGH. That's not WAAGH at all.

(Remee doesn't entirely know what WAAGH means.)

The others are working on taking down the mech. Remee goes to shield the orcz - switching from wolf to full werewolf, drawing herself up to her full height. "This way!"

She tries to corral them behind some cover - or creates some by punching a wall, if there isn't enough.
Operator     Ishirou pings the robot, getting details on its schematics. It's hard to compile them though, as Sammy continually sweeps his fire, forcing everyone to constantly dodge. He even starts shooting from the second hand to add to the difficulty. But eventually, Ishirou finds details on the hand cannons, the missile pods on both legs, a plasma burster in the chest, and eye lasers. His virus uploads also succeed, and the mech's movements become sluggish.

    Aiden does indeed spot a door on the right, directly behind the mech. Flying towards it, he creates an impact that is quickly answered by whoever is on the other side. "Oh! Rescue? Oh, your timing couldn't be more perfect, I've run out of treats, and the reindeer are getting anxious. Ho ho ho! Ah, you might want to dodge young man!" Right after Santa says this, Sammy brings the mech's foot down upon Aiden!

    Alexis sics Undermine on the mech, their jaws biting with enough force to warp the gun barrel fingers. That's one weapon shut down. But Sammy simply stops firing with the other and reaches out to take the Pokemon in his grip, and squeeze as hard as possible.

    With that opening, Jeanne begins to cook the mech in her flames. The heat shielding seems to stand up for this initial burst, but the pilot immediately returns fire on her with laser eyes, implying that maybe the cooling system for the pilot isn't holding up.

    Remee stands up and shapeshifts to act as living cover for the Orks, who gape. "Oi! The WAAAAGH! Dog's on two legs!" "Duh! Don't yoo know that all WAAAGH! Dogs can do dat ya daft git?" With that cleared up, the Orks gladly get behind her in a way that implies they've used comrades as living shields before. Since their guns don't seem to be holding up, Revvuh orders a detachment to rush the foot that stomps at Aiden and mount it. Now a green mass is slowly crawling up the mech itself! Sammy kicks the foot over and over against the far way to try and detach them, causing chunks of rock to fall from it and the roof itself.
Ishirou "There we go, read out complete, and here are where his weapons are..." he says, letting people know where weapons are and what to expect based on their movements.  Thankfully, the virus upload keeps him moving sluggish, even as he's being shot at underground.  Eventually, Ishirou resurfaces, to try and get under his feet.

He aims to try and plant explosives on the joints of the legs, near the missile launchers, and then ducks away before he realizes he was there...or tries to anyway.  He ignites the charges, aiming to try and damage both the legs and the missile launchers.

Hopefully right in time for the green tide to start charging him.  "...So Aiden...maybe...just get Santa out?"
Ritsuka Fujimaru As impressive as the mech's gun-fingers and laser eyes are, Jeanne doesn't get much time to admire the craftsmanship. No, she's here to do an actual job for money and also saving Christmas (even if she'll never admit to it), and the main thing standing in her way is this robot blasting lasers at her.

"Getting a little heated, aren't we? You might have a better chance at coming out of this alive if you surrender now, dickbag!" She shouts while raising an armored gauntlet up in the path of that laser, her curiosity getting the better of her (and also pride). Although it doesn't quite burn the same way that her own flames do, there's a nasty sizzling noise coming through the armor as she has to actually back off to not get cooked even more inside of that almost-all-metal armor.

Of course, Jeanne can't just keep setting that leg on fire, as the Orks are starting to climb up the mech. The falling rocks are going to be an issue, too, and so she refocuses her attacks elsewhere while Ishirou gets his explosives going on those same legs.

"You'd better be grateful, boys! It's not every day I'll let anyone touch my weapons without running them through first!" Falling back to get a better throwing angle at the mech, Jeanne begins conjuring and hurling her spears at the mech one after the other, aiming for softer-looking parts to try and get them buried into the machine. With any luck, they'll provide extra handholds for the Orks, and they'll double as convenient ignition points once it looks like she's clear to just set them all on fire at once.
Alexis Alexis darts up from her prone position to get back a bit. Far from trying to leave, she's just making for the cover Remee is providing the Orkz as well. If she doesn't have to devote someone to protecting her she's got more Pokemon power to put into the fight. And clearly they're going to need it.

Undermine disables one arm, but the other grabs onto the Krookodile and wrenches him loose, putting a real squeeze on the creature. He thrashes, but his limbs and tail are pinned and he can't get his teeth on anything to tear himself loose.
Alexis brings in some additional support then. "Go, Scorch, Sulphoria!" Now there's also a large badger who ignites a high collar of flames around his neck and shoulders, and a slink lithe black lizard with pinkish-purple flame patterns. "Use Fire Lash to help Undermine get free!" Sulphoria extrudes a long tongue from her mouth, the caustic chemicals in Salazzale's saliva igniting when exposed to the air, turning it into a fiery whip that lashes to grapple and burn the fingers of the mech so the croc can squirm free.

Scorch, being her best trained ace, doesn't need any instruction. He draws on his volcanic energy and to avoid scorching any of the Orks climbing on the lower part of the mech instead leaps into the air, doing a move similar to a certain hedgehog except his spin spreads his flames to engulf his form and slam into the upper body of the mech like a raging comet.
Remee Halcyon "Yeah, and WAAGH dogs can talk too," adds Remee, to make sure that's cleared up.

Some of the orcs start climbing up one of the mech legs. "Oh!" Remee, once she's sure that the other orcs are safe-ish behind cover, runs to replicate the feat on the other leg. She's hard to shake off!
Aidan Proudpick The door bursts through, a round red hot hole left behind as he flies in, seeing the jolly red man. He breaks into a smile. "Well, hey Santa Claus." The big man calls the shot and Aidan spins his head around. The rest of his body comes a bit later, and Aidan has to use his shield as a REAL shield, instead of a magical one. The result is a powerful blow downward that nearly dislocates the squirrel's arm. He lands heavily, slamming with the shield to the ground. Alive, but in pain.

The Green Tide, a wash of large Orkz swarm around him, grabbing at the leg, giving the squirrel just enough room to yank the shield out. "Right. Okay. Do you have something to fly with? Because I'm going to aim this shield up and start flying, and it's going to make a hole, but it is not great at carrying more than one person."

Aidan grunts as he slaps his gun into its holster and quickly switches arms on his shield to the one that can actually take a blow and reignites the shield.

There is a MIGHTY ROAR once more and the shield goes straight up, the squirrel attached to it.
Operator     Ishirou using 3D maneuvering to burrow in and out of the warehouse to get at Sammy has him off-guard. This mech is intended for ground warfare, not underground. The warehouse inhibits its mobility, so there's not a lot he can do to shake his attacker off as the explosives are planted, damaging the leg join so badly that Sammy has to have the mech lean against the far wall to stay upright.

    Jeanne's spears find purchase again and again. The mounting Orks do indeed use them as handlebars without a thought. They start treating them as an endurance contests, to see who can do the sickest trick on them while enduring the pain to their hands as the flames burn them. "I didn't get to where I am by surrendering!" Sammy barks, firing that plasma burster at Jeanne, the sizzling orb melting everything it passes into slag.

    Sulphoria melts the fingers on the other arm, freeing the Krookodile and rendering the other gun useless. Meanwhile, Sorch full body-checks the mech against the far wall, making it crumble even more. The night sky outside is now visible through it, the external surface of the cliff exposed.

    Remee begins climbing the other leg, Sammy now reduced to flailing as the Orks make it to the chest and begin slamming against that hatch, trying to wrench it open. Meanwhile, Aiden frees Santa, and makes an exit in the roof. Boring all the way up to the surface, integrity be damned. With the warehouse already being the way it was, this is the last straw to trigger a full-blown collapse. "No! I ain't dying here!" Sammy yells. Rocket engines in the feet of the mech fire, launching him backwards and clean through the outer wall, escaping as the ceiling begins to collapse.

    "Oh no ya don't ya git!" Revvuh barks, pulling the cloth off his back hump to reveal it is no back hump at all. It is a rocket engine he has strapped to his back. It fires, and launches the Warboss after the mech, his gun firing rapidly as he lets out a WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

    The two connect in the distance, and there's a white, sky-brightening explosion.
Operator r    Santa is quick to ready his damaged sleigh, and gives everyone else in the warehouse a wave to come ride on it to escape. Somehow, it's just big enough to fit them all.

    Dropping Ork and Elite alike off outside the collapsing compound, Santa gives a jolly laugh. "Ho ho ho! Well, that was a fine rescue, wasn't it?" "Fine nuffink! Our Warboss is dead!" an Ork shouts. Santa shakes his head and smiles. "Nay, I can tell that he has survived. His name remains on my list, while Sammy's has disappeared. Such a shame, he was on the nice list as a boy, but..."

    Smiling at his rescuers, he begins reaching into his sack and handing out gifts. "Now, you should have woken up to these, but it is now Christmas Day, so I see no reason to bend the rules a little." The Orks get all varieties of new dakka, choppa, and skulls containing plenty of teef. The Elites are left for last.

    To Jeanne, he says, "Now, normally I was going to give you coal, but I think saving Christmas just barely gets you on the Nice list. Try to do better next year!" Her gift is a scented candle called "Morning in Paris." It apparently smells of fresh baked bread and freshly brewed coffee. But more importantly, the candle is shaped like the Eiffel Tower, so when lit, it would appear the structure is burning.

    To Ishirou, he smiles and only says, "Humanity suits you well, my boy. I hope it brings you more joy in the coming year." His gift is a bestiary on obscure cryptids and mythological creatures.

    To Aidan, he only says, "I do think a knight deserves a banner to march under, don't you? Good luck in your campaigns, my boy." His gift is a heraldic banner, depicting the lion-faced shield Aiden uses, wrapped in the boughs of a tree bearing acorns on its branches.

    To Alexis, he says, "Your journey continues on. But you should never be afraid to take a break, my girl. Rest is important! Ho ho ho!" His gift to her is a new camping set, with a quality tent, collapsible cooking ware, and a very comfortable bedroll.

    Lastly is Remee, who is told, "It is brave of you to try and write your own story. Make sure it's a good one, hm?" His gift to her is a quality, leather-bound journal and planner for the coming year.

    Once the gifts are handed out, Santa mounts his charred sleigh and takes to the night sky. "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good WAAAGH!" he calls as he vanishes over the horizon, the Orks all waving farewell.

    On the shore far below, Revvuh crawls onto the sand and shakes his fist at the parting figure. "I'll catch ya next time, Red One! NEXT TIIIIIIME!" A small gift attached to a parachute lands before him, containing a snow globe with a little sleigh-mounted Ork Santa. The Warboss shakes it, the little figure in the orb moving faster the harder he shakes it. His boisterous laughter reaches even to the top of the cliff, altering his Boyz to come retrieve him.
Ishirou Honestly, Santa's words are probably just as much a gift as his actual gift. He smiles, feeling a bit proud that he had been growing into it.

"Thank you...maybe it isn't human exactly, but it's more than I could have ever wished for..." he says though he defintely takes the book. This'll go to good use, and by good use, he'll read the ever loving shit out of it because he's a giant /nerd/.

"Wait he's alive? Well lets dig him out?" he says looking towards Alexis after she gets her gift.
Alexis Once Undermine is loose Alexis recalls him, and then Sulphoria as well. Then engages her retractable rollerblades and uses them to skate around the collapsing mech and across the warehouse to where Santa has been found. The trajectory Scorch rebounds off the machine lands him nearby, making it easy for him to keep moving in the same direction as he unrolls. The two jump in the sleigh, unsurprised that it somehow packs everyone in. Let's be real, Santa probably has Hammerspace that doesn't even register on the scale.

Once they're outside and safe Santa is giving his thanks and passing out gifts. Can you blame him for feeling jolly enough to hand them out now? It's also less trips he has to catch up on. "Glad we could help, and thank you."

She then nods to Ishirou. "We can do that, no problem."
Aidan Proudpick There is a moment as Aidan BURSTS through the compound that he looks COOL AS FUCK, as he rides out the blinding explosion.

Landing is another thing. Because the shield doesn't slow down. Or glide. Thankfully, Aidan can throw the shield at the ground, then do his thing. Spreading out, orienting his tail, then hitting the ground from two hundred feet up because fuck you squirrels can do that.

Then he gets a present.

And it's not just a banner. It's a banner with heraldry. Aidan stands completely stock still, staring at it, eyes wide. He is like that for a while.
Ritsuka Fujimaru Although the plasma burster brings with it a greater threat than the laser eyes did, Jeanne is still stubborn enough to contend with it instead of doing the sane thing and avoiding it. "Big talk, but you'll live longer if you do!" She shouts while slamming her sword into the plasma orb, managing to suffer some rather nasty burns in the process of fighting fire with fire.

It'll heal in time, at least, and it'll probably turn out better for her than Revvah's maneuver appears to when the entire underground structure starts coming down. Even after seeing what happens with the Warboss and the mech directly with her own eyes, it still takes until after Jeanne's already climbed aboard Santa's sleigh to finally finish processing just what happened.

"... Idiot. He didn't even get a chance to have that chat before he died." Shaking her head, Jeanne's attention turns back to Santa with some confusion when he reveals who is and isn't dead underneath all that rubble.

More importantly, he puts her on the Nice list. "Oh? I'll keep that in mind, then." Jeanne lets out an unpleasant laugh at that, but her expression seems to soften ever so slightly when she actually gets a strange little gift. She's sure to enjoy that once she's relaxing again, and it might even spark a new idea for her.

It might even be starting a little early, too, as she turns to the rubble with her fingers already going into her mouth like she's about to whistle. She hears that shout from the shore, however, and quickly feigns spitting something out. It's not like she was going to call on her dragons to actually help dig Revvuh out or anything.