Scene #8182: Santa Kale

Owner	Pose
Kale Hearthward	WELCOME BACK TO THE STAGE OF HISTORY No wait welcome back to the Paladins' Holiday Village. Not the Stage of History. The Stage of History is over in... El Dorado, right? We don't have one of those here, just a Holiday Village. The setup is widespread, taking over an area roughly equal to Central Park. It's multi-denominational, as well - if there's a winter holiday tradition somewhere and the Paladins know about it then it's likely represented here in some fashion, with most getting stalls or booths and the major ones getting larger areas. Things that multiple traditions hold in common or that are close enough (ex: certain foods, presents, tiny beans hidden in slices of cake, pig murder) get larger sections as well. And it turns out that there are enough traditions that are close enough to 'Jolly Person Wearing Red, Sit on his Lap and Tell Him Your Desires' that the 'Visit Santa' section gets a place of prominence and 24/7 staffing. Kale Hearthward was supposed to just be doing some vague holiday-related community service, as a result of some incidents that SHALL NOT BE BROUGHT UP AGAIN. Unfortunately, scheduling snafus, short-staffing, food poisoning from some bad milk and cookies, and a literal fire breaking out elsewhere in the village have all resulted in him getting slotted into one spot in particular here. "And what do you want for the holidays, little girl?" says the jolly red-wearing bird, slightly muffled by the fake beard he's wearing. Despite Kale being subjectively a bad pick and objectively nobody's first pick to be Santa, he's managing so far with minimal incidents, and there's a small line formed to see him.
Ishirou	Ishirou is here. So is POD, who has a little Xmas hat on. It is also carrying a stocking on one side of it. Ishirou is just here to watch things unfold, perhaps to give Kale moral support. And to take pictures. In fact, POD was here specifically to take pictures. Of Kale. In a Santa outfit.
Bowser	Bowser is at the end of that line. He is wearing a large Christmas Sweater with little rudolph bobombs on it. In one hand, he has an overly ornate hot cocoa from a cart, the kind with burnt marshmellow whip and a candy cane sticking out of it. In the background, the various minions are doing the usual christmas fare you would see. Building snow men. Having snowball fights, ice skating, reading 'Authorartian Communist Monthly'. Kammy watches over them, swaddled in a scarf and sweater that hides her entire body.
Lory Thumper	Althought this isn't the holiday that bunnies are known for, Lory is here helping Kale out as a volunteer. She's helping keep people in the line, helping keep kids' spirits high while waiting, and handing out candy canes as needed. Although she has her combat armor on, she also has on a green elf dress and a green elf hat over it. She's also keeping an eye on the crowd for any troublemakers. And a big fire turled in a Christmas sweater is a big red flag. She doesn't say anything for now, but he might feel her eyes on him every now and then. Ishirou on the other hand gets a friendly wave if he happens to look her way. "Doing good so far, Kale! Keep it up!" she says between a couple of the kids.
Kukuru	For some reason, Kukuru's here, too! Despite her claims of having a lot of stuff to pack and prep for everyone before the weekend, she still opts to show up at the Holiday Village unannounced. And what better way to appear than coming out of an ominous, evil-looking cloud of darkness? She's smiling brightly as she comes out of it, at least, and she's even wearing the classic Santa-esque outfit with the little hat-poof and fuzzy skirt and everything! She also has a big ol' sleigh-sized sack slung over her shoulder that's probably taking up the standing room of at least five other people behind her while she's waiting in that line. She might inadvertently be cutting in front of someone else just as she arrives, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Spotting some familiar faces, she leans over precariously and waves towards Ishirou and Bowser, then straightens back up while fighting the urge to just join them. She needs to set a good example for everyone else waiting in line, after all.
Kale Hearthward	QUEST ADDED TO LOG: Hire a hackerman to delete Ishirou's pictures "Uh huh - well, if you're extra extra good, then Santa might just bring your... toy car for your doll." "It's a Cynthia's Rugged Dream SUV play set," corrects the little girl on Santa-Kale's lap. "Yes, yes, just be good and Santa will- I mean might bring it to you. Now go get your candy cane from the elf." "... We didn't need a bunch of fancy expensive toys when I was growing up," he complains to Ishirou and Lory, between kids. "These parents are coddling their kids... I had to go work extra chores on the next farm over just to earn enough money for books." And then he gets back into character for the next kid. "Ho ho ho..." Bowser's turn comes up soon enough. Kale does a double take. "Why, aren't you... um... haven't you been eating your vegetables and drinking your milk, little one," he tries, not sure what to make of this.
Ishirou	Ishirou is one of the best hackers in the Multiverse, and only a few actually can claim to be better. The robot girl from the Watch, for example, was one. Whatever happened to her..? Ishirou just gave Kale a stare, "When I was born I was forced to be a chattel battle slave, so you know..." he shrugs, "Just because people have better childhoods than others, doesn't mean it's wrong. Instead, shouldn't you be happy to make theirs better than yours was? Isn't that the point? Nobody should have to suffer like we have if we can avoid it." Click. Ishirou might be enjoying this /far/ too much. He does wave back to Kukuru, "Hey Kukuru...what's up?" he asks, though sure whatever she was doing here was going to be benign at worst, and hopeful at best... Bowser on the other hand... Oh man, that was going to be really funny. He does spot someone reading Authorartian Communist Monthly. "Why...Authoritarian specifically?" he asks.
Bowser	Bowser hands his drink off to a koopa as he steps up to the MIGHTY SANTA THRONE. He is, however, surprisingly gentle when he takes his proper seat. With his other hand, he snaps out a list and pulls out a pair of glasses. "Look, I ain't stupid, okay," he mutters quietly, so no one else can hear, "I know you aren't the REAL Santa. I know you are one of the helpers that Santa hires that goes directly to him." He then puts the glasses on his broad nose muzzle area and looks at the list. "Okay." "I want a map to the Chaos Emeralds, I heard those things are really cool. Something called the pieces of eden... Uh, Spear of Destiny... Some weird thing called the Frozen Flame..." He starts lifting up the list, "Four crystals, The Key of TWilight, The X-Blade, the secret of Monkey Island... oh yea, a baby named Rose? I don't really get why that would help me take over the Mushroom Kingdom." The koopa looks up from his book, "Well, our boss does tell us everything to do and control everything." He points a finger towards Bowser.
Lory Thumper	Lory just shrugs and smiles at Kale, nodding in agreement with Ishirou. "Exactly. Making things easier for the next generation is kind of the whole point, isn't it?" she says after handing a candy cane to the little girl. Kukuru's arrival puts Lory on edge a bit, but when Kukuru emerges she's a bit confused. "...pretty ominous entrance...why does she have such a big bag with her?" she wonders aloud, but not to anyone in particular. Bowser actually taking a seat makes her stare a bit, but she quickly catches herself and returns to her candy cane distribution.
Kale Hearthward	"Well, you and I turned out alright and without any major issues," says Kale. "I'm just saying, all this holiday stuff really isn't necessary." "... Ah, um," he says when Bowser sniffs out that he isn't the real santa. He decides to not actually respond to that claim. "That's... quite a list! It might be tough for Santa to get all of that loaded up on his sleigh, ho ho ho..." "Also aren't some of those kind of... dangerous, for a kid your age? You'll put your eye out, kid! Ho ho ho..." Kale ponders escape, but he's kind of pinned. "Well - the big question is, have you been a good little..." He squints. "Turtle? Santa only brings gifts to turtles that are on his nice list, ho ho ho."
Kukuru	"He-ey, Ishi! Ah, you're here to talk to Santa, too? Aw, that's great!" Kukuru sounds rather pleased as she greets Ishirou, fighting the urge to jump forward several spots in line just to talk with him. "Do you know what you're gonna ask for this year? I bet you've got lots of good ideas for what, right?" Clearly, it's more polite to just yell past the crowd. Bowser has the right idea, clearly, having prepared an entire list ahead of time. "That's a lot of names... Huh. Maybe I could find those sometime." She comments idly, carrying herself with all the grace and energy of someone that might have only woken up twenty minutes ago. She covers her mouth as she yawns, at least, then calls out to Bowser. "What about a metal detector? Then you could find gold on the beach!" Lory's position near Kale with the candy canes, meanwhile, gets a pleasant 'aww' from Kukuru. She stares at Lory for perhaps a bit too long, though, and there's a brief glint in her eyes before she remembers to wave at the rabbit helper with a toothy grin as well. It might be of moderate concern that her teeth are less human-like and more shark-like. Kale asks Bowser about his level of niceness, and Kukuru cheers lightly in response. "He's been helping Santa, too!" She doesn't elaborate on how, but she winks at Kale for some reason.
Ishirou	Ishirou isn't actually IN line, so he does back up to talk with Kukuru as she's yelling across the line. "Oh no, I've talked with Santas enough this year, I'm just...helping out a little. Providing moral support to a friend you might say..." Ishirou says this while also completely lying about it. He's here to get pictures and then share them with Lilian. Also Kale's friend in the Watch. "Honestly..? I'd feel a little guilty asking for anything /this/ year. I got a lot...so I'm just happy with anything I get." To Kale, he shrugs, "Are you sure about that? Because there are people who think otherwise.." "Well...sure, and Communism is definitely the right first step...it's that first part that I think's the problem. That form of Communism has...historically never ended well for anyone.."
Bowser	Bowser scowls. Maybe THIS is why he always gets coal every year. "Of course I have! I'm a good and honest King. Who has been saying I'm not a nice guy?" He reaches his hand up, about to make a fist and punch it into his palm threateningly when his eyes flicker down to Santa Kale on which he is currently destroying the legs of. "Oh yea! And a metal detector." Bowser waves over at Kukuru. "LOOK! Every one of my subjects thinks I'm nice!" He turns his head slightly and takes a deep breath. With a bellow, he shouts loud enough to know snow of the trees. "HEY! MINIONS! TELL THEM HOW NICE I AM!" All of the very creatures freeze, then quickly turn, "Yea!" "Real nice boss!" "Very giving!" "A living saint!" "See?" Bowser folds his arms. Then he brings his voice low again, "Look, that's not why I came here, I have that list every year." A long pause, "Okay, there's this woman, she's a princess, and I don't know what gift to get her. I TRIED kidnapping her to a resort, she didn't like that. Then I tried stealing some of her favorite things from every world!" The koopa lifts the book back up, "We are doing pretty good."
Kale Hearthward	"Well, ah, Kukuru is vouching for you - not that I'd know Kukuru, I mean, that person..." says Santa Kale, hesitantly. "... Okay. Okay." Bowser's telling his real reason for being here. "Okay. I know... a few rulers. They're always really busy and they never seem to have time for the people who love them, yeah?" "So what you need to do, is figure out what's keeping her busy, what's causing her problems, and then..." He starts to gesture, and then thinks better of moving while he's in this position. "Then fix those problems." "Free up her time, give her some breathing room, right? And then she might have some more time for you."
Lory Thumper	Lory's ears twitch and her eyes focus on Kukuru when she hears that 'aww' but...soon her ears are laying back and she's getting the feeling that a wolf has her in its sights. The wave and the toothy grin don't help too much, but Kukuru's child-like mannerisms mitigate a bit of the ominous. Lory wave back with a cautious smile. Only to blink in surprise when Bowser says he kidnapped someone. "Well, most people don't like being kidnapped." Lory says. She also looks skeptical of the minions' claims that they are treated well. But then again, if all of them have attitudes like Bowser perhaps they really think they are doing well. At the talk of gifts, Lory nods lightly. "I don't usually ask for much, either. I have pretty much everything I need. The only thing I might ask for might be a better harvest for my family's farm."
Bowser	Bowser reaches up, scratching his chin with one claw at he thinks about that. "Yea... I can remove HER distractions and then she'll FINALLY want to spend time with me!" Bowser reaches back to slap Santa Kale heartily on the back. "This is why you are the best, Santa! And now that I've made the plumbers completely disappear, I can just fix up her problems and she can focus on all my GOOD qualities." The King is about to jump back off when he stops, leaning back, "Oh yea, hold on." He puts an arm around Kale's shoulders, because he is not leaving without a picture. Or a candy cane.
Kukuru	"You have? Oh, that's great. I'm sure he appreciates it a lot!" Kukuru affirms while completely misinterpreting what Ishirou's saying by taking it all at face value. She raises an eyebrow at his own assessment, purses her lips, then shrugs lightly and reaches over to give him a gentle pat on the head. "It's not bad to want more stuff. I mean... Everyone does, right? It's only bad if you start hurting people to do it." Another affirmation, another pat. Bowser's large arm wave gets a pleasant giggle from Kukuru, but his talk of kidnapping someone has her smile turning into a blanker, mildly confused stare. "... Huh. That's... Oh, his heart was in the right place.That counts for a lot." After making some excuses for herself to comprehend Bowser's motivations better, Kukuru goes right back to her dopey smile, seemingly reassured by Kale even continuing the act of not knowing her despite apparently taking her word. That's how she knows she's on the right track. Lory gets her mind back on the topic of stuff to ask for, and Kukuru lets out a droning 'um' for a while as she starts trying to figure out what she actually wants. "More money would always be nice, but I could get that wherever. Maybe... A boat? No, money can get that..." Her ears (horns? Where are her ears) perk up slightly when Lory mentions the harvest. "That's not bad, either... Oh, but money can just buy more food, too. Hnn...."
Kale Hearthward	"That's not -" Kale pauses, wondering if he should correct what Bowser's understanding of his point is. "That's not what I mean..." he says weakly. "Don't you think that maybe if she's missing people, her attention will be even more split...?" He doesn't press it. As soon as this strange, heavy turtle child gets off of his lap, he'll become someone else's problem. "Yes! Picture, ho ho ho, go get your candy cane from the elf, and next in line..." He gestures over towards Kukuru, partially to make sure Bowser gets the hint and vacates.
Ishirou	Ishirou looks at the Koopa, "Buddy, I'm not going to rat you out...and it might be better for the man to hear criticisms made from someone who's looking out for him, instead of just a yes," he says looking at how the other Koopas reacted to Bowser's earlier questions. "Obviously you're with him, you're still here...but it /is/ the time of year to be with your friends and family..." To Kukuru he frowns, thinking about it. "Honestly, I haven't really thought about what, if anything, I wanted...I've just been so focused on trying to improve myself...and grow..." he sighs, "Maybe a gym membership after all, haha.." "Some more time with my new family wouldn't be so bad.." He also takes a picture of Kale and Bowser, and makes sure it gets sent to Bowser. Heh heh heh...
Lory Thumper	Lory hands Bowser a candy cane as soon as he's off of Kale's lap and tries to usher him along with a quick, "Thanks for visiting Santa! Be good and maybe you'll get some of those things form your list!" She's not holding her breath, though. Even just from the things she overheard...Bowser's not a good little boy. "It can, if someone has grown enough food. So, a good harvest is good for everyone." Lory says to Kukuru. And since Kukuru is up next, the bunny is very curious to see why she has such a large bag. Did she bring Santa gifts instead of the other way around?
Bowser	The koopa looks over his book again. "I AM with friends and family. We all live in the same kingdom. Look, I get it, yea. Oh, Bowser is so mean, but like." He rubs at his chin, "Have you ever just TRIED pirating? You know, you go around, you steal things from people, you sing songs. It's great. Sure, you get beat up a lot, but we also have movie night." Bowser gets off Kale's laugh with a little hop. He grabs at the candy cane eagerly, "Oh, I'll be good." "I'll be real good! GWAH HA HA HA HA-come on, stupid... candy cane... wrapper..." Bowser struggles to dig the thin plastic off the sticky peppermint stick.
Ishirou	Ishirou just shrugs, "Fair enough then...as long as you're actually happy and stuff. Just don't be surprised when others who want to protect their own happiness clap back.." There is a pause, "The Pirate's life ain't for me, I fear."
Kukuru	"Self-improvement is good, too! A gym membership could help, but if you really wanna get strong..." Kukuru strokes her chin, then snaps her fingers. "Oh! You could stay at my village for a while. That's how I got so strong, and my parents are real strong, too!" She neglects to also mention the fact that she's not human. How relevant that may be has clearly never occurred to her. "Maybe... Yeah, the harvest'll be a good time to come by. Then you can really bulk up!" Kukuru recommends to Ishirou after Lory reminds her. "And if it's really good, we could even make some extra money for everyone back home, too..." Once Bowser gets off Kale's lap, it's Kukuru's turn! Before she does, Kukuru finally reveals the contents of her bag... Kind of. "One for you, one for you, one for you, aaaand... Oh, not this. This one!" She passes out several boxes* roughly the size of her head to each of the (named) people here, and only then does she settle in on his lap, complete with an arm around Kale's, getting in way too close that it'd be scandalous if she was anyone else, and even smiling brightly for Ishirou's camera. "He-llo, Ka-aaaanta dear~ For this year, I want... Um..." Crap. It's all been money, hasn't it? First, to test the waters. "... Mmmmoney? Lots of it? To get lots of other stuff I keep thinking about?" * Kale's: A wide spread of meat, seafood, vegetables. Somehow, all of it tastes kind of samey, but at least there's no poultry in there. Bowser's: Almost entire fried vegetables, but there's still a generous helping of unhealthier fried meats as well. No seafood, but there might be a stray shrimp ball or five in there. Ishirou's: Mostly meat, but a couple of high-protein non-meats in there, too. Good for building muscle, but kind of lacking in other nutritional areas. Lory's: Another pile of fried vegetables, but there's also a couple of high-fat meats in there. There's even a few attempts at tempura, although they still somehow taste like bacon grease.
Lory Thumper	As Bowser has difficulty with the candy cane, Lory hesitates a moment before holding out a hand. "Want me to open that for you?" she asks, despite the risk that the big koopa might be insulted by a tiny bunny offering help. When she is given a gift by Kukuru the bunny blinks in surprise. "Aww! Thank you!" she says, then oohs. "I have some predator friends that will appreciate these meats." she says with a smile. She also giggles a bit at the request for money. Nothing wrong with asking for money as far as Lory is concerned.
Kale Hearthward	"Wait, that was Bowser?" Kale's a bit behind. Kukuru is up next. Kukuru is asking for money. "Ah... a big girl, asking for money?" Kale tries to recall what was in the manual for this, which he totally read and didn't just speedread/skim/scan/read a few random pages of. "Well, ah, if your parents... I mean, if you've been really good, then Santa might put five whole dollars in your stocking?" Boxes! With food in them. Kale will figure it out later.
Ishirou	Ishirou blinks, wow...that's actually kind of sweet of her. He's not sure if he'll actually gain anything there, but...well he guesses it'll be good to see where she comes from. If there is some sort of thing to learn there, it'll be doubly worth it, but even not...well, it's something he hasn't experienced before, and that's important in its own right. "I...sure, that sounds nice. I dunno how helpful I'll be with a harvest, but I'll try," he says and takes the gift. "Thanks..!" he says and opens his up. Oh wow, that's a lot of protein, and it smells pretty good. He starts eating it. He also asides to Lori, "That's Kukuru, she's Concord but..." he shrugs, "She definitely embodies the softer growth aspect they claim to also be about..." It's hard to imagine that she'd be taken advantage of in such an organization, but it never sounds like she is. Guess things are different there than one thinks on seeing the outside. He does speak up, "Well, what do you need the money for Kukuru?" he asks, maybe working through whatever Kukuru needs might be a better wish than just...money.
Kukuru	"Predator...?" It takes Kukuru a moment, but then it clicks. "Oh, like Hiromi. Ah, so you're already..." She nods slowly at Lory while trailing off, letting her own mind wander. "... That's good, too. You're a good friend." She's still smiling, but she somehow seems disappointed. "You'll be a big help, Ishi. You just gotta remember to lift with your back, and to not cheat with your legs or machines!" Kukuru suggests, giving perhaps the worst workout and/or lifting suggestions ever. "It might hurt a little at first, but dad's doing great after he got used to it!" Kale suggest five entire dollars, and Kukuru pouts briefly before going right back to a slightly more forced smile. "I hope so! Or more, even, because... I mean, I don't really know what I want right now, but there's always nice restaurants and cute stuff to buy, and a boat, and a fan, and..." Ishirou asks, and she obliges by just naming all manner of conventional stuff along with the occasional weird thing mixed in ('samurai swords', 'those giant cotton swabs from that old game show', 'a gun'). "Something to make cleaning around the apartment easier, too... Oh, and one of those transforming armor sets..." She's really going for it. It might have made more sense to just say these things in the first place.
Bowser	Bowser glares at his bento box as he sees ONLY VEGETABLES. But they are fried. And oh hey, a chicken fried steak. "Hey, thanks Kukuru!" He is very handy with chopsticks. Which is why he uses his bare hands like a monster to eat from the lunch box. "This isn't half bad." He thrusts the candy cane towards Lory, "Yea, yea, you take care of it."
Ishirou	Ishirou stares at Kukuru... "Is your plan for me to get injured so many times that your healing magic somehow makes my bones stronger?" Ishirou asks the Sloth, because right now he's wondering if he should suddenly escape due to his apartment being on fire. "Wait why do you need a gun..?"
Lory Thumper	Lory lets out a little breath of relief before taking the candy cane and opening it quickly before handing it back. "So...uh...did you say you kidnapped someone? And...you were unsure why they didn't like that?" she asks, trying not to make it sound like she's being judgemental. Which is difficult. Lory's ears perk at Kukuru. "I'm already...what?" she asks. Ishirou's comment about Kukuru earns a light nod. "Maybe."
Bowser	"Yea! I took over this resort by sending out a bunch of ghosts and all the resort workers were haunted so we could have the entire resort to ourselves!" Bowser throws the entire candy cane into his mouth, crunching it noisily. "And she gets all mad! 'Oh, you shouldn't haunt people. You shouldn't kidnap people.' Even when I scheduled us for girl stuff too!"
Kale Hearthward	"Well..." Kale considers. "Have you... um..." "..." "Santa doesn't get many people that want... a ton of money, you know? Especially not for guns and other things..." he says. "How about... a toy dump truck instead? I think Santa can bring you a toy dump truck."
Kukuru	Kukuru isn't bothered by Bowser's hand-eating method in the slightest. No, she just looks pleased as ever to see him enjoying the food. "It's important to have a balanced diet, mhm. You don't wanna get stuck in bed because of just eating junk all day." She says while having given out almost nothing but fried food. Ishirou gets a puzzled look. "Injured...? Oh! Like the.. Um. The bone people with the trees. That's not a bad idea..." She muses aloud, clearly considering it despite the potential problems in all that. "Oh, and the gun is fooor... Umm..." She points over at the furthest tree. "I could just go over there if I had to hit someone super far away, but sometimes you gotta be sneaky, right? So..." She holds her hands together, pantomiming a gun and making a little bang sound with her mouth, complete with fake recoil and hitting her thumbs against her forehead. Lory trying to get more information about what she already is, meanwhile, gets a little giggle and dismissive shake of Kukuru's head in return. "Ah, nothing to worry about. Well, not from... Maybe your friends could explain better?" She trails off again, and it's terribly clear she's hiding something. The awkward, toothy smile does nothing to make it less apparent. Santa Kale reveals the reason for his apprehension, and Kukuru purses her lips as she nods slowly. "Oh, yeah.. I guess. That does sound more like what I used to get back home. Toys and snacks and..." He mentions a toy dump truck. Her mind wanders again, and then she lights up once more. "Oh! Can it be signed? You know, like an autograph!" Somehow, that seems to get her lighting up again, as though some kind of fire has been lit in her heart once more. At least she's not saying she'll sell it for money.
Lory Thumper	Lory tries to contain her look of complete confusion at Bowser's confusion. "Er...w-well, it sounds like she's a good person. And, good people generally don't approve of forced possession and kidnapping." she says, trying her best to keep her voice in a more advice giving tone than a 'this should be obvious!' tone. At the question of why Kukuru would need a gun, Lory offers, "There's really only one...maybe two reasons to ask for a gun. You want to shoot something, or you are a collector." Kukuru continues to be evasive about what Lory already is, so Lory looks to Ishirou since he seems to know Kukuru somewhat. "Do you know what she means?"
Ishirou	Ishirou just shrugs at Lori, "She's not being evasive...she's just..." a pause, "Uninformed sometimes.." Rubbing his face he shakes his head, "Actually, Kukuru, that's rather unhealthy for developing bone and muscle...I looked this up." Rubbing his head he thinks. How can he explain this without confusing her? "Think of exercise as smoothing out a blade's edge. If you go hard and rough the blade's edge will be uneven and not very well formed, right? But long purposeful strokes are what's needed." Please understand this, Ishirou thinks.
Bowser	Bowser frowns, "How else am I supposed to get her to go to the resort with me?" He rolls his eyes. "Yea, maybe for you," he points a finger at Ishirou. "Some of us have big rocks hurled at us to make our bones strong and harder!" He gives a MIGHTY FLEX of one arm. "And I eat nothing but STEAK and CHICKEN WINGS all day!"
Kale Hearthward	"A signed truck - yeah, I can actually get it signed by Santa, sure," says Kale. "... Do you need me to drop by the village again, make sure everything's going okay there?" he adds. "I mean, the money's not for them, right?"
Kukuru	"Oh, it's definitely to shoot bad guys." Kukuru answers Lory plainly enough. She sounds like she believes it, too! That might be a problem down the line if she does get one. Ishirou teaches Kukuru the ways of the actual science, and she lets out an intrigued 'aaaah' and 'ohhhh' as he puts it in simpler terms. "Huh... IT worked for my dad, but I guess it /is/ different for humans. So you've gotta do it evenly and handle the blade carefully, or the muscles will tear the wrong way... Like handling more delicate meat dishes!" Another nod. She's learned a thing today! Apparently, she's also completely forgotten about the bone micro-fracturing thing already, as she doesn't even bring it up again. "We'll need to get some tougher meat, then. That way, you can work on your jaw, too." Bowser gets a meaningful look and another affirming nod. "Like him. All that steak and chicken tendons would do it." Kale obliges with Kukuru's '''scheme''' to get some extra spending money, and her heart grows five sizes or something! Actually, she's just hugging his head into her chest for a few moments. "Aw, thank you~ It'd mean a lot. Ah.. If you want. We've got plenty of stuff to eat for this time of year, so anything that's not used is gonna get sold anyway. And the money..." She shakes her head, shameless as ever. "Nope! I just want more of it to get more stuff."
Ishirou	Ishirou nods at Kukuru! "Yes, that's exactly it. Alright, good...at least that translated well.." a pause, "Oh right cooking comparisons would work too. Yeah, it's the difference between cutting meat along the grain or going against it..." He pauses about tougher meat, then looks at Bowser. Then looks down at Bowser's gut, then back up again. "Uh...well I'm not a Koopa soooo..?"
Lory Thumper	Lory's ears perk at hearing Kukuru say humans in that way. So, Kukuru isn't human? That might explain a few things. But, Bowser's question brings her back to him. "I'm guessing just asking sincerely for a date didn't work?" she asks as she pulls out one of the fried veggies from her box and nibbles at it. They have been here in the Christmas Square a while after all.
Bowser	He has a POWERFUL UNDERBELLY. But it also might be made of like, bone, so maybe it is an impossible physique to get. "Of course! She refused! So now I have to go TAKE HER and bring her on a date so she can see how macho and sensitive and cultured I really am!" Belch.