Scene #8186: To Be Okay

Owner	Pose
Xion	Outside the Shrine of Adversity's square, and grand fighting colleseum, are countless hawker's stalls and food carts. Like pungent-throbbing nodules on the pulsing arteries of people-motion to and from the Shrine. Xion, just off the main break, sits at a very-parked-in foodtruck in the pavilion area, sitting at a silver metal barstool and enjoying a very juicy taco. She dresses in black jeans, black socks, black boots with bright silver metal, and a black tank top on, with a royal blue hydrangea tucked over her right ear. She lifts a taco - Two tiny tortillas, grilled with a little cheese and a lot of grease between them until they are see-through, loaded with salsa, cilantro, onion, and flat-grilled chicken. A tray of similar sits before her on the extended sitting flap, under the tarp out from the side of the truck. As people pass, she produces her phone in the other hand and contacts Hibiki. > Hey > Come grab a taco with me > I can help
Hibiki Tachibana	After the message was sent, there was just shy of five minutes passing before a reply came back. 'alright i'm on my way' 'but only because of the tacos' Which as anyone who knows her would know, is a patented lie. But they're still a part of it. Thankfully, more than one recent trip to the Shrine of Adversity for reasons that were most definitely not browsing what's cooking means Hibiki doesn't get distracted by the sights nor need to wander around aimlessly to find who she's here for. Today is a gray hoodie and gray sweatpants kind of day. Which is probably mildly reflective of her mood, which is at least visibly uplifted a bit as she slides in to sit next to the other girl and gives the tray a glance. "It's always over food, huh?" It sounds a little cynical until she slowly reaches down to take one, which is absolutely going to leave her hand a greasy disaster. "...Well, it usually does make it a little better. Thanks, Xion." "You said you could...help? With which part, exactly?"
Xion	> Oh. > It's definitely the tacos. Lie or not, the cuisine is fire. Only the tastiest could compete in the area - the quality was quick, dirty, and powerful. Leaning back in her stool as Hibiki approaches, Xion kicks her feet up as counterbalance and waves with her hand. "It's usually over food. Food or a beating, but you're beat up as-is, you know? Eating makes it easier, because--" Her waving hand switches to a tugging one when Hibiki gets in range. Her fingers curl against the grey depression hoodie and yank, planting Hibiki in the stool besides her. "Well, if you want the real, most-honest, most-real answer, it's because it's a kind of care, to provide you excuses, too. If you don't want to answer, and just listen, you can eat. And maybe that's what you should do, sometimes. Plus, it's always something we're sharing, and enjoying, and that's good, right? If you're mad because you've not eaten and drunk enough, recently, it's like curing all the usual suspects with one go. It's a powerful move, so that's why I always open with it." Xion turns away to order drinks, and in short order a tall iced horchata is added to the pile of tacos and pair of food court plastic cups with room temperature tap water with sad, warm ice cubes and a distressed lemon slice admitting defeat across the top or drooping through the middle. Perfection on a tray.
Hibiki Tachibana	"Hey--!" The tugging gets a squeal out of her, followed right up by a mildly annoyed pout once she's firmly sat down. It is of course, the faux-upset-ness that you put on when you're not /actually/ mad at a friend, and it doesn't last all that long. Probably because she's given two more important things to focus on. The first is what Xion is saying, which is the serious answer she wasn't actually expecting, and explains everything about the tried and true technique of hitting up a food place to get issues out there. The second is said place's food, and let no one say greasy and filling food is exactly what she goes for. There's no shame as she promptly takes the taco she had her eyes on and bites off like a third of it in one go, slowly chewing and swallowing before speaking. "Well, I can't argue with any of that. Almost feel like I could go for some free excuses right about now." She starts already going for a second, leaning in so as to not get any mess on her favorite sad hoodie, but stops short to get in some words before she does. "...I know none of this is supposed to be easy. But geez." /Then/ the bite comes.
Xion	Xion listens to hearts and simply understands Hibiki's communication, her smile brushed with serenity and a little bit of salsa juice. Switching to look ahead, she brings another pinch of taco over from the tray to her plastic plate, bracing another hand under the greasy trove. "It's hard to seperate the feelings from just experiencing how bad a situation is. You lost the fight, and you were treated bad enough it's like this. That, absolutely sucks. But what makes Hibiki better from that? You deserve to heal, and to not be blamed, and to still be supported. You fought, and you tried, and you lost." Xion spends a moment eating, and Hibiki has silence to eat herself. The Nobody reaches forward for her lemony water, and pauses. "As a warrior, I'm proud of you, Hibiki. Not as proud of you as I could be, for fighting for the right reasons and winning, but I'm proud that you fought. The reasons you had, I agreed with. And I said so, in public." Pausing, Xion sighs, shoulders slouching. "I wish I didn't have to argue with John's apologist. You shouldn't have needed defending."
Hibiki Tachibana	For most of what Xion says, Hibiki seems content to quietly eat. Thankfully, in smaller bites than her taco-destroying first one, though it still vanishes pretty fast. Then the second one is incoming right behind it, without even bothering with a drink, and on it goes. Healing at its finest. It's only the last part that gets her to grimace and slowly lower the soft shell in her hand. "You...no, Petra too, you shouldn't have to do that for me. I know she's just upset because of Lilian, and everyone turning against her friend." Her head just barely turns off to the side. "...It still sucks, though." She lets out a low exhale. "...After the fight. I really did think it was fine. I didn't care that I lost. I shouldn't care that I lost. I thought...I figured him out a bit, and I cleared up some of my own hangups over stuff. I didn't do it just for Lilian, but for myself too. But..." A few seconds of silence pass by. "Yeah, I guess nothing really changed after. And I couldn't get Petra leaving looking all upset over Lilian and Persephone out of my head either." "...And the more time passed, I kept wondering how I could have done better. With both of them. But I guess that's retreading crap we've already talked about," she mutters under her breath, before shaking her head and shifting from looking away to facing Xion again. "...I just want to be able to stand up for Lilian...and also be able to stop the...'new kids', I guess, from going through it when it comes to her. I'd do it again, too. ...But it feels like I'd just make it worse instead of better. And I /hate/ feeling like that." Now it's time for a long drink of lemon-tinged water. Her throat is feeling kind of dry.
Xion	"It started becuase someone smeared around their garbage and everyone started getting dirty." Xion councils. "Try to remember, Hibiki." Xion leans on the counter and watches, chewing slowly. "Sometimes you feel bad, because something bad happened, and your bad sensors are tingling. Sometimes you feel bad, because you need someting, like feeling bad because you're hungry. Sometimes you feel bad, just to get you going again, because that's how you are. A need that you have, you're not filling. An eating you're not doing enough of." Closing her eyes, Xion rests, palm to her ear and fingers arched into the sides of her head around her ear. Maybe her hands are dirty. She certainly doesn't care. Hibiki drinks lemony water. Xion's voice rises. "It's fine to feel bad. It's just a signal. What are you going to do with it?"
Hibiki Tachibana	"Yeah...yeah. I know I shouldn't blame myself any more than I should," Hibiki seems to half-heartedly agree with Xion's assessment on the nature of Badness. It only seems half-hearted because she's off in her own thoughts as she listens. The cup of water stays up at her lips for several seconds, even after she's done drinking. Then it slowly comes down. "...You asked me that before. And it came up when I was talking to Lilian, too. And the answer is...I don't know." The look on her face for a brief moment makes it seem like she just took a quick taste of that lemon straight up, multiplied by a factor of two. "I was already wracking my head trying to figure out what I could do about Petra and Lilian going at it...and getting nowhere. And now this happened when I tried to do something, and even if it was for the right reasons, everything seems worse for it." There's another Long Hibiki Pause, where she closes her eyes and then opens them again to stare down at the collection of steaming tacos. "...I just know I don't want to give up. Not even on John, even though I said I was done trying with him. I want to be a better...I dunno. 'Mentor' isn't right. But if I keep at it, then one way or another...maybe I can help make everything work out. So that everyone will be 'okay'."
Xion	"Yep!" Xion agrees, after the Long Bikkisilence. "You've definitely forgotten." Several ellipsis proceed in sequence. Xion slides out of her stool to stand, turning to face into the crowd of people, back to the food, Hibiki in her left periphery. "If you need to fix the problem in front of you, and you can't, you know that breaking down is worse, even if sometimes you have to. It's not about just... magically fixing all your problems right there, right then. You don't have to always make progress every time you try." Tight, difficult, things that were hard to describe. Xion's eyes tighten, gazing into the sea for the blur of motion to hypnotize away the barrier between herself and her imagination. If she went there, she could explain everything perfectly. A place she had so rarely been. Instead, she had words. "There's adjusting the way you fight. Picking up more of the advantages, fighting with less mistakes, more focus, holding yourself to a higher standard--" her arms come up in pantomime, shoulders squaring and fists raising, shadowboxing a side-duck and a right jab. "--but that's just practice. And that can plateau." Her hands fall, fingers bouncing back up to be absentmindedly licked before stuffed into the thin pockets of her black jeans. "It has to be okay to have a bad time. We don't have to accept it, or give up, but at the end of things it should be okay. Most of being a mentor is thinking about others' needs, and caring. You do plenty, so all you have to do is keep your fists a little closer when you're fighting for others," Xion finishes with a little eyefluttering laugh. "-and maybe not fight such awful jerks."
Hibiki Tachibana	"Eh!?" After she gets hit with the 'you've forgotten', one can practically see the '???' floating over Hibiki's head as her mind races trying to figure out what this important thing is. Thankfully, she gets a crash course in all of it as she turns in her seat to watch Xion get up with a mixture of confusion and maybe apprehension. She can't see that look in her eyes that well, from this angle, but it's enough. Probably. All leading up to a bout of silence once the other girl is finished, as she looks down briefly. "...Being okay after having a bad time..." With another heavy sigh, she slumps over in her seat until she's splayed over not just her own, but also Xion's now-empty one. Spread-eagled and limbs dangling down and all. It's a pretty overdramatic gesture, so it's probably not as serious as it'd otherwise seem. "...is something I've always been pretty awful at, honestly..." A (greasy) hand comes up towards her face, to stare at. "Keep my fists a little closer, huh? That sounds way too simple. But maybe part of the problem is that I've been thinking too hard about what more I can do...and thinking there /is/ a way to magically fix all my problems. Maybe I just wish there was one." It slowly closes into a fist, then loosens open again. With an accompanying dry chuckle. "...Fighting jerks is the only way I really know how to deal with them. So no promises."
Xion	"It's hard to get it all back out in order. I'm skipping around, trying to remember everything you've forgotten. Maybe it's just how you're supposed to put it back that counts, and you can get it out of order as long as its sorted on the shelf." Xion tries to explain, with Hibiki spawling out to Feel as the taco fuel is spent on grease mountain and it is neither beverage nor calorie that satiates either girl. "It's definitely a lot easier to say, but... Yeah. Keep your fists a little closer? And your elbows in. You're fighting for the sake of someone else, so you're fighting for care. If you forget it immediately, then you're just getting into a fight for any reason." 'Maybe part of the problem is that I've been thinking too hard about what more I can do...' "You definitely can't forget to -do- something. When I talked to Lilian, the thing she needed to do was not to forget to clean up the pain in her heart. It's not just damage, it's not just sunk, that there's work to be done, mechanical work, pulling it apart, and cleaning it, and clothing it over until it's shiny and de-gunked and working well again." Xion pumps her head, nodding, not needing to see. "Mm. Yeah. You've gotta remember that fixing the little things is important, and not try to wand over the results of not cleaning up for months. There's no brush that'll scrub every spot, and not having a part to get it all in one sweep isn't the 'actual problem', it's all the brushing you've gotta do." ... 'So no promises.' "Oh, yeah. Well, as far as jerks, just give 'em the-" Her fists come up shadow boxing again. "Pop-pop! And then they'll clean right up too."
Hibiki Tachibana	Once again, Xion gets everything in without any interruptions at all. The only difference is that this time, it's with Hibiki still staring at her own hand as she listens until eventually her eyes close and she lets all of it sink in - or does her best to, anyway. A few seconds after the old pop-pop!, Hibiki takes in a breath and uses it to sit herself up again. "Getting into a fight for any reason...I know. I think that's part of why it turned out the way it did. Maybe I made it a little too much about me, and not enough about Lilian...or even John." The way she says that sounds like she's admitting some unpleasant fact about herself, and is followed up with her putting a (non-greasy, the left one) hand over her chest. "...Okay. I think I get the Xion Advice. Doing a bunch of thinking isn't going to help if I don't end up actually doing anything, anyway. And I'm never gonna find a perfect answer to everything no matter how much I want to. If I keep trying and tearing myself up over it, I think I'm just gonna...'gunk it up' even more." Now it's her turn to nod a bit. Mostly to herself. "Thanks again...Xion. I think I really was forgetting about the little things. Especially ever since then. I'll...try to chip away at cleaning it up. Little by little. If I can do that, I think I'll manage to be okay, too." She pauses, then gives a laugh that sounds somewhat less dry than the one before. "...Well, knowing me, there might be some sputters here and there, or maybe more than some, but..." She promptly slides off of her seat to stand back up, rolling a shoulder and stretching her arm. "I think I'm ready to get to work again." Beat. And a little quieter, "...Maybe after we're done eating, but still. The food really does help."