Scene #8202: Fox, Sheep, Cabbages

Owner	Pose
Remee Halcyon	It's the back lot of the Happycade Game Junction. Remee's been here whenever she has spare hours, trying to figure out how to break into the Reversal. Evidently, she succeeded. There's a portal here, one that looks vaguely (but not entirely) like those used to get into the Reversal. There, however, isn't a Remee. She's not answering radio calls. And it's been about an hour since she said she'd "Be back in a bit". (Also are the Reversal portals supposed to last this long?) If (more likely 'when') someone decides to go through to check it out, the inside of the portal doesn't match what you'd expect to find in the Reversal - either in general, or for the Happycade's location. This is more... picturesque. The other side of the portal shares space with the front door of a picturesque thatch cottage, on a picturesque street in a picturesque medieval town. There's a bunch of other little cottages just like it, all lined up in a row, on both sides of the cobblestone street. Above, the sky is a perfect pleasant day. The aforementioned street is also full of animal people. Not the fully anthropomorphic kind that you can find in some worlds, but also not quite wild animals. Something inbetween, like slightly elongated rabbits and cats walking on two legs, wearing clothes - not uniformly wearing clothes above and below, but still entirely PG. The animal people are heading off towards a castle in the north part of town. There's a steady stream of them - and they seem entirely unfazed by the people entering in through the portal, even if the entering multiversals are considerably taller. There's no Remee here, either.
Stanley Padgett	STANLEY MARIGOLD PADGETT steps into... fairybook land. A blink, as he twists in place and looks around and up and around at everything. This wasn't Lampport. This wasn't the Reversal. This sure as heck wasn't what he was expecting either. Though, as he makes the effort to call up his combat gear, at least he'll look the part, in a vaguely medieval way. That's a fencing tabard, and his mother's foil, and he's trying to not look entirely out of place, despite being taller than every single native here. "...Hullo?"
Kukuru	After not hearing from Remee for quite some time, Kukuru takes it upon herself to... Actually, she's not too worried. She's heard of Remee getting pasted several times before, so it's not like this would be any different even if she got into a bad fight. No, the real reason Kukuru's here is because she recognized the location's name, and having little else to do after a particularly productive day at home means she's got plenty of time to kill. It's just kind of strange when, instead of seeing the familiar stone slabs and that big yelling stand in at the Happycade, she's instead watching an animal parade headed towards a castle. None of this looks familiar at all, and even the tree she's found herself in after dropping out of a dark cloud isn't the usual spot she chooses to drop in from. "This isn't the Happycade... Hmm. Is this good or bad?" She asks Stanley as she eventually strolls along besides him, one hand reaching up to straighten out his hair before crossing her arms behind her head and following the parade. "Wonder where they're all headed..."
Remee Halcyon	"Oh, hello dear," says a passing rabbit mom, her dozen kids trailing along behind her. "With that rapier, you're... one of the king's musketeers, aren't you?" The answer Stanley should give is yes. Stanley should say yes. Stanley should be one of the king's musketeers - no, the tense is wrong there, Stanley should have always been one of the king's musketeers. There's an odd sense of pressure that doesn't go away unless and until Stanley starts correctly thinking of himself as one of the king's musketeers. "I'd heard King Nobel had taken ill, and that's why we've all been summoned to court today - is that true?" Yes, it is true. Stanley should explain that they've all been summoned because the kingdom's been ordered to search for a cure. He should also offer to escort her and her family towards the castle, like a good proper musketeer. "And the king's... chef, right?" The rabbit woman has a bit harder time placing her, but she ends up being spot-on accurate - of course Kukuru is the king's... chef? No, that's not right. Kukuru is Kukuru. "No, you're the king's... maid?" This is also spot-on accurate, or - no, Kukuru is Kukuru. The rabbit looks like she's struggling with this.
Stanley Padgett	Stanley starts to try and correct the bunny lady, when he huffs and sighs. No, this would be easier if he just played along. "Yes, I'm a musketeer." He smiles, and fluffs up his tabard to show off the hidden flintlock pistol underneath. "And yes, I can escort you up to the castle, if you need to get there." A smile. He's happy to help, he's a people person. "It's very sad that he's sick though. Kukuru, do you know of any good cures?"
Kukuru	"He's sick? Oh, that's sad. I wonder what he's sick with..." Although Kukuru's mind is naturally resilient against outside influences, it also doesn't take much to convince her that coming here to try and fix the king isn't such a bad idea, either. She giggles lightly at Stanley being identified as a musketeer, and she strokes her chin lightly while considering the rabbit mom's questions about who and what she is. "I'm... Oh, I'm a chef, mhm. I left the hat at home, though. A maid...?" The hand goes down, and then the opposite hand goes up to her chin instead. She does at least have a big apron on over her sweater and jeans, at least, so it's not completely out of the question. "That could be nice to try, too... Ah, one day. I'd have to get the outfit, though." She admits with a light chuckle, distracting herself with a light wave at the rabbit kids before nodding in affirmation. "I'm a chef. And I'm gonna try and cure the king, too." She states boldly, turning to Stanley a moment later with another nod. "Mhm! I'm not just good at fixing injuries, you know?" She doesn't actually explain what her planned cure is.
Remee Halcyon	The king's musketeer and the Kukuru follow the flow of animal people into the castle, which goes across a drawbridge and from there directly into the king's court. Directly in. No foyer, no antechambers, no hallways, just straight in from the front door into the court room, as if the court room was the only room that mattered. On the way in, Stanley the King's Musketeer might ruminate on his many years of loyal service with King Nobel, having been the king's musketeer all along. All that stuff about Lampport and the Reversal was just what he did on the sides, serving King Nobel and living here in this town are his real life, right? There's two seats open near the front. Actually those seem to be the only two seats open, no matter where Kukuru and Stanley the King's Musketeer look. King Nobel, who is a lion (Stanley knows this already, of course) is sitting in his throne, looking sickly. One by one, people are getting called up to offer medical advice or folk remedies, none of which have worked out so far. "Stanley, the King's Musketeer, and Kukuru the... Kukuru," calls a bear next to the king, reading off of a clipboard. Oh, it looks like it's their turn to help, already.
Stanley Padgett	MUSKETEER PADGETT steps forward from his specially reserved chair that was always there, and adjusts his neon frock. "Your majesty, I have searched this kingdom and the next far and wide, and I can only say that with great regret, my questing has been for naught, save to bring Miss Kukuru forward to you and offer her assistance. I kept her save on the long travels here, and present her to you now." Stanley kneels, and bows his head respectfully. Stanley, what are you doing?
Kukuru	Kukuru doesn't notice how strange it is for the court room to just be a straight shot form the doorway, but it's probably for the best that way. Or not, but her sense of self-preservation right now is still about as low as it usually is, considering that it's her. Just as well, since she's swinging her arms back and forth idly at her sides as she walks along, heading into the room proper and noticing the convenient pair of seats! Not that she has time to really lounge around yet, however, as she and Stanley are called forth to aid the king! Rather than talking all fancy-like, she just greets King Nobel with her usual airheaded tone of voice and pleasant smiles and whatnot. "He-llo there, King~ Don't worry, we'll have you back on your feet in no time. You just gotta trust us, okay?" Still smiling brightly, she walks right up to the throne (with another pat on Stanley's head in passing) before resting her hands on her knees while leaning in close to stare right at the King's face. "Do you know what you're sick with? Like indigestion, or poison, or some kind of disease? Or..." A longer pause. "... Magic stuff?" There's a slight shift in her expression at that last one, as though she's hoping it isn't that.
Remee Halcyon	Stanley is being a good Musketeer. That's what he's doing. "It's a disease of the body and the soul," states the bear. That sounds vaguely like 'magic stuff'. The lion king grumbles vaguely as he's patted, but accepts it. Kukuru gets this feeling that the source of the illness is something beyond medicine, though it's not clear as to what (or why or how she knows that). The king manages to rally himself a little bit under Kukuru's ministrations, and looks over at the bear. "Is that... everyone present in the kingdom?" The bear checks his clipboard. "No, your majesty. Reynard the fox is absent. I've dispatched Ysengrim the wolf to go fetch him."
Stanley Padgett	Stanely perks. "Reynard, that slacker. He knows better than to miss important summons like these." He stands swiftly, hand on his sabre, and calls out. "Shall I assist Ysengrim, your majesty?" His eyes are burning with pride, and shame that he couldn't help the king more before.
Kukuru	"Body, okay. Soul..." Kukuru furrows her brow when she hears that. "that's harder to deal with, mhm. If it was just a body thing, I could..." Well, no sense not trying. Keeping her hand on the king's head, she redirects a multitude of nanites from her hand into him, letting them swirl around to do their tech healing fixing bullshit. It probably won't work on any magical maladies like those she's pretty sure he has, but it might at least make him a little more comfortable for now. She draws her hand away as the bear speaks, raising an eyebrow when two more names come up. "Reynard and Ysen... Grimy? Who're those?" As she asks that question, she puts both hands on each side of the lion king's head, moving them around gently as if trying to soothe the king into a light slumber or something. "You'll be okay. Just trust me, okay? I think this'll... Work~" And then she pushes her hands together with a sudden burst of strength, more than enough to compress a car into a cube, never mind a sickly lion's head. Should that work, she immediately moves onto step 2 of her idea: Pouring nanites back into the king, to restore what damage she might have caused and heal his body, hopefully with the magical effects dispersed in the meantime.
Remee Halcyon	Kukuru does indescribable things. Well, technically, they're describable, but... yeah, not going to describe them. And then before anyone can act in response, she pumps nanites into the lion, and restores him back better than new! "I'm cured!" says King Nobel, sitting up straight. "Everything is fine and everyone can go home now." And that's the end of that story. --- ... Except... no, that's not how things are supposed to go, is it? Suddenly everyone's back in the throne room again. King Nobel the lion is once again slumped in his chair, looking sick. There's no stray blood splatter from his 'treatment', either. Kukuru and Stanley do have their memories intact, though. And in particular, Stanley has the right set of memories now. At least for now. There's a sense of pressure on him to think of himself as the King's Musketeer again. The door to the castle opens again, and two more figures enter. One of them, the wolf, has the other in chains and is leading him in, though there's also a sense from their body language that it looks more like the fox is the one hurrying them both along. "I found the miserable bastard Reynard in-" says the wolf, who strongly resembles Remee. She's at the same short height as the rest of the storybook animals. "Yes, yes, out of the way, you two back to your seats," says the chained fox, gesturing with his head for Kukuru and Stanley to clear out.
Stanley Padgett	STANLEY THE MUSKETEER watches Kukuru pulp the King's head. "HEY! WHAT THE HECK!" He reaches under his tabard, draws and levels his flintlock in an instant a- STANLEY MARIGOLD PADGETT is standing in a storybook castle, looking down at his hands, and then over at Kukuru, and now he's AWARE. "....oh hell. Remee what the hell did you do..." He's not going to interfere with the story though, and steps aside for the fox and wolf, as he looks over to Kukuru, and blinks. "...Hi. That didn't work, did it?"
Kukuru	It worked! Until it doesn't. The sudden jump from the king being better to being back in his throne gives Kukuru quite a bit of whiplash, and it takes her a few moments to get her bearings straight. It takes several more for her to realize that her solution didn't quite stick, and she doesn't even turn around right away when the doors open with two more figures coming in. It's only when the familiar-ish wolf speaks that she turns around, giving the one resembling Remee an eager wave. "Oh! There you are, Re... Grimy?" Somehow, she actually caught herself before using the right wrong name. Looking over at her and the bound fox, Kukuru lets her head droop sideways slightly while trying to parse all of this. "What's going on now? Oh, is he a doctor or something? Or..." She doesn't actually move out of the way, of course. She just waggles her fingers instead. "... Magical? Ah, this'll be interesting, won't it?" She giggles softly and moves over to join Stanley finally, shaking her head after a moment with a hint of disappointment on her face. "Nope. Too bad, huh? Although I guess that's still a... Something." She glances over at the king and not-Remee and the fox, then leans towards Stanley while whispering. "I don't get what's happening. Do you?"
Remee Halcyon	There's a flash of recognition from the wolf as Stanley says Remee's name, but only a flash. "This... is Reynard the trickster," says Ysengrim, dragging her captive over next to the throne. "Everyone else has gathered to try to cure the king, while he hid away." "I was out on a religious pilgrimage," says Reynard, unconvincingly. "Speak. Give the king your remedy," demands Remeesyngrim. "Ah, well..." says Reynard. "There's an old family cure that my old aunt Gertrude used to tell us," says the fox. "If you ever have a sick lion on your hands, just sprinkle some crushed cell phone on his head." "And," continues Reynard. "I think that young musketeer in the front just happens to have a cell phone we could use?"
Stanley Padgett	Stanley blinks a few times, and then pulls out the cell phone from under his tabard. "Oh... right, my cell phone, yeah, I have one of those." He looks at the high powered Sealbox around it, the nigh indestructible nature of the device about to vex him... Before he holds it up, and takes a picture of the Fox and the Wolf. "Nah. That isn't a thing. What the hell." He grumps, and then starts fishing around in his apps, checking to see if his copy of the Reversal is working in here.
Kukuru	"Ah, so he's got a cure, too... I wonder if it'll work." Kukuru comments with another curious glint in her eyes, lacing her fingers together and swinging her arms from side to side idly as she watches Reynard giving his recommendation. She looks from him to Remee(?) with a light shrug, then over at Stanley when he's called out in particular by the captive fox. "Oh. You should take your little card thingy out first if that's..." Somehow, Kukuru knows about sim cards! Even she's a little suspicious, though, at how conveniently the cell phone just comes into play, and she heads right on over to Reynard. She squints closely at the fox, even stroking her chin to show she's really getting her brain going. "Reynard... How'd you know he has a phone? Do you have one, too? It's not nice to volunteer other people for things you wanna do, you know." Kukuru utters in a scolding tone, clearly ignoring her own guilt in doing such things in the past. She's not the one on trial, anyway.
Remee Halcyon	Stanley's phone still works. He can bring up the Reversal app and everything (though the location info registers as definitely not Lampport). As he's checking, though, Remee stalks over and snatches it from his hands. "Enough stalling," she says, gruffly and uncharacteristically, as she drops it on the floor and goes to stomp on it. And then goes to stomp on it again, and again, unable to get through the Sealbox around it. "Hmmmf..." "Ah, perhaps our Ysengrim's vaulted strength isn't as vaulted as it was said to be," says Reynard. "Ah well. The other remedy I happen to know is..." "... Hmm... oh, I know. Minced Kukuru horns," he says, looking at her.
Stanley Padgett	Remee gets exactly three stomps on the phone case, before Stanley vanishes and reappears with the phone in his hands. He huffs and grumbles, and then takes a picture of Reynard, and starts to look this dude up in storybooks. That's going to be hard, though, what with Reynard the Fox being a staple of French children's lit. He shuts down that search, and then crosses his arms and looks from Remee to Kukuru. "I mean, if you think you can get them off of her, you're welcome to try. I doubt it, though.
Kukuru	"That's a really good case... Hmm. Maybe I should get one of those." Kukuru comments idly as she watches Remee gets her stomps in, then turns her head slowly to Reynard when he suggests mincing her horns. "My...? But you're not even.. Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't even know you! We'd have to get to know each other better for something like that." She's laughing, but in an incredibly awkward and forced way, as though Reynard's just made some kind of unspeakable social faux pas without her actually saying such. "Stanley, don't encourage it! You shouldn't even know about these kinds of things at your age... Or being human." She mutters, cupping her palms over the tips of her horns protectively even though they're still... Well. They're drills. There's not really any practical way to hide them, even with all of her hair. "No phones, no hair. What about grilled fox?" As she suggests that, she looks right back at Reynard, and there's definitely a flash of inspiration in her eyes as her mouth starts to visibly water. "Or stir fried..."
Remee Halcyon	Remee steps up towards Kukuru, ready to try to de-drill her, and pauses. "Hmm, what about grilled fox," she says. "That might work." She turns towards her captive, malice in her eyes. "Ah," says Reynard. "That's not how the story goes." --- Things are once again how they were. There's a flash of recognition on Remee's face, and then panic. "Kukuru! You need to hit-" And then the flash is gone. She's Ysengrim again. "Well, maybe just... throw the both of them into a giant pot, and make a stew. There's gotta be something curative in all of that," says Reynard. "Yeah, might work," says Ysengrim. "Someone get out a stew pot..."
Stanley Padgett	The second RETCON hits, and Stanley is staggering again, but he's able to catch himself metaphysically this time, and fully disregards the impetus to be the musketeer, and also to avoid disrupting the story. Hands clench on his foil, and he looks directly at Reynard, and then at Remee. "Hey, Halcyon, I apologize for what I'm about to do, and I hope we can still be friends." Seven Stanleys appear in the room, as the original Stanley flickers out of existance and into position among the illusions. "Yeah, which one of us goes in the pot, Ysengrim? You'd better figure that out before I shoot someone." All of the Stanleys speak in near unison, and then all draw their pistols at same time, pointing at members of the audience who suddenly matter enough to be brought back into frame.
Kukuru	Unlike Remee, Kukuru's already lost the malice in her expression. Or, perhaps, she's never had malice in there at all. She's certainly hungry, though, and the idea is sounding even better when Remee gets in on it. Alas, things reset, and Remee says something rather strange that she can't quite comprehend right away. Stanley, too, starts doing something strange with so many copies of himself, and Kukuru's finding herself getting more confused by the moment. When Reynard recommends throwing herself and Stanley into a pot, however, that smile expands a bit too much and goes from 'pleasant doting mother figure' directly into 'ah, bad times' wideness. 'Ysengrim' mentions a stew pot, though, and Kukuru's face goes right back to that pleasant smile. "Oh, I've got just the thing!" She digs into her apron, and out comes a big ol' crock pot. It's not a comically huge one, though, but just a regular crock pot that could probably fit a whole chicken or most of a turkey inside. Kukuru seems to have other ideas, though, as her hand darts out at Reynard. "I know! Grilled fox, right~?" Ignoring the fact that a crock pot is not for grilling at all, Kukuru's going to start trying to shove the fox right into that pot, anatomy and the like notwithstanding."
Remee Halcyon	Ysengrim looks grim. "Shoot them, then - you won't kill more than a few before I can take you down." "Do you really think I care about the common folk? Do you think they matter, at all, compared to the lives of the aristocracy? Any one of us is worth ten, no, a hundred, no, a thousand of those peasants." Kukuru, meanwhile, gets the pot out, and goes to put the fox in it. "Ah - this isn't how it goes either-" he says, but this time he gets cut off when his head bonks against the side as she tries to shove him into it, dazing him. "- Crap. Stanley, Kukuru, we need to go." Remee's still looking like one of the storybook animals, but she sounds like herself again. "This is Reynard's story, I got caught up in it, and we need to get out of here."
Stanley Padgett	That's what we're talkin about. Stanley grins at hearing Remee's voice again and as Kukuru starts to handle Reynard, Stanley takes care of Remee. The Musketeer and the Seven Stanelies resolves out into a SINGLE Stanely, who flickers past Kukuru and scoops up Little Storybook Remee. "Which way was it." And then Stnaley looks down at the ground and right back up at the exit to the castle, where the path back to the forest is incredibly straight and honest. "Alright, here we go, hold on..." And then the young man simply lauches himself down the path, as fast as Mercutio can launch him, and towards the exit. "Come on you, we'll get you back to the real world."
Kukuru	Kukuru's discovered the secret! Accidentally, anyway, but it's still a solution nonetheless. "Eh? Oh, okay! Lead the way~" She chimes in cheerfully while slamming the pot on over the crockpot, keeping a tight hold on it as she starts jogging along behind Remee. She's shaking the pot as she goes, too, apparently assuming that more head trauma means avoiding more resets. Although there isn't anything to heat it up on, it's... Well, she's really good at shaking and jiggling while she runs. The pot, that is. "Where to next? Also... Um... What /is/ this story supposed to be about, anyway? because this guy's been a real jerk, huh?" Clearly, she's unfamiliar with French tales of something or another. She does, however, have enough sense to keep that pot moving erratically, even if she is stopping short of actually smashing it. It's a good pot!
Remee Halcyon	Smaller Wolf accepts being grabbed and carried. As they run, and as Kukuru continues to mishandle the crock pot, the other animals start to fade - as do some of the finer details of the environment. "Out! Out the way we came, if it's still open. And he's not just a real jerk, he's the jerk! That's kinda the point of the story!" It's thankfully not far to the portal, which presumably the group takes - depositing them once more in the alley behind the arcade.
Stanley Padgett	Stanley skids to a halt back in the Real World, and then looks down in his arms, to what he's hoping is the Real Remee, whom he carefully tips back up onto her feet, in the back lot. It's a moment or two, of the group making a bunch of noise back there, when the back door of Jimmy's Grotto opens, letting out a cloud of garlic butter and regular smoke. Jan Kotzya shuffles out the back, for presumably a smoke break. He's shaking a cig out of a package, and then looks over at the group. "Hay, Stanley. YOu have friends over? Should have said. No robots this time, eh?" He chuckles deeply, and doesn't ...doesn't seem to mind people falling out of portals. These things happen.
Kukuru	Now that they're back in familiar lands, Kukuru can finally catch her breath! She 's not even using her legs anymore as she just leans face first against the nearest wall in the alley, too, crock pot still tucked under her arm. "That was... Tiring. Is the Reversal supposed to be that weird?" She sounds like she's complaining, but it's not out of annoyance or anything like that. She's just tired from running at all. It's not normal! Hearing a new voice, she looks over at the smoker and greets him with a friendly wave, giggling after a moment and shaking her head. "No robots, just us. He-llo there...." She yawns groggily, then turns to Remee. "Why's that the story, though? It's so... Oh! Right." It's only then that she remembers that she still has the pot, and she does the smart thing of setting it on the ground first. One hand pops the cover open carefully, and then the other goes right to grab at whatever may or may not still be inside. Better to check now than later when she goes back home!
Remee Halcyon	"... Oh hey, you got... any pizza," says Remee, a bit dazed, as she's set down. "I'm starving." She shakes herself off, in the manner a dog shakes off water. "Give me a second here." She shimmers into her human form. "There." "... Also, ah, if you actually draw on real people, Stanley..." she says, giving him her attention.
Stanley Padgett	Stanley blinks a bit, and waves to Jan. "Hey, can we get a pep over here?" The tall slav shrugs a bit, sucks on his cig, and goes back into the store a moment or two, before coming out with... "Here, is pizza that come back from delivery. Hope you don't mind, but its free." Stanley waves to Remee, and Jan delivers the pizza. THE PACT IS SEALED. "Much easier than robot." It's then that Stnaley looks from Remee to the pot and then back to Remee. "Hey, what's up? Drawing?"
Remee Halcyon	"BARK!" Inside the crock pot there's... a fox. Like, a real life four legged fox, not a fox person or whatever. It's red furred with bits of black and white where you'd expect black and white bits on a fox - it looks like the fox you'd pick out if you wanted an example of a fox to show someone what a fox looks like. It squirms in Kukuru's hands and tries to bite her, without success. (Remee wrinkles her nose.)
Kukuru	With little else to worry about aside from a live fox, Kukuru stares at the little creature nipping at her hand before closing the pot back up and sealing the lid. Without missing a beat, she claps her hands together, with a cheerful "Dinner for later~" escaping her, and then she sets that pot back down to take a seat on it beside Remee and Stanley. She offers her and Stanley some bottles of orange juice (the good shit, not from concentrate), then makes grabby hands for some of that pizza. It's just over there, but she really doesn't want to get back up so soon. "Free pizza's always nice. Sooo... Um. Wait, what's this about drawing on people? You're not making a mess with permanent markers or anything like that, right?" She's staring right at Stanley as she asks that. It wouldn't be surprising to her, but that stern look in her eyes suggests she'd be really disappointed.
Remee Halcyon	"Drawing, like..." Wait, maybe saying that Stanley pointed a gun at people in front of others isn't a great idea. It's not like they're real people. "Ah, nevermind. We'll talk later." Remee goes to wolf down some real food.