Scene #8391: Feelings and Futures at the Boardwalk

Owner	Pose
Go Shijima	Go's shared and apartment with Ishirou as a roommate for a long time, and Hibiki has been to the city plenty of times herself, so both of them easily know the spot he means, when he asks them each to meet up. Each of them gets a text, punched in on the FiveS phone. The familiar white advanced power cruiser rests on its kickstand, a short distance away from a boardwalk overlooking the sea. Go himself is no more than a minute's walk down the boardwalk, leaned up and watching choppy seawater break against rock-strewn shores. The black rocks glisten in the disappearing evening sun, as clouds roll lazily overhead. His favorite hoodie is off, in favor of an orange tee, but his mop of dark brown hair would be hard to miss, as would those red and white sneakers. His arms rest atop the guardrail as he leans, looking out over the shore until he hears them approach. "Hey," he says, slowly turning to meet them each with a smile as they arrive. "There's some things I think that..." His brown eyes regard Ishirou wearily, but warmly. "It might help for you to hear. From me and from Hibiki. First of all, something I owe you--an apology." Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his burnt-umber pants, he takes a breath. "I told you to fight Nephra because... because I thought you'd made her mad about something less serious." He looks away, then down. "I should have come with you. So I'm sorry." The outline of his hands in his pockets shifts, balled into anxious fists. "The other thing," he says after a sigh, willing himself to look at Ishirou again, "Is that... she had a good reason to be upset with you. I imagine by now you've heard that a lot, so I'm not gonna dogpile you. Instead, I wanted to say..." Go searches for words, briefly, eyes flicking downward as he frowns throughtfully. Then, after a moment's thought, they flick back up, brightly. "Lilian told me, one time. 'Shijima, you don't have to burn yourself out every time,' or something like that," he says, glancing towards Hibiki. "I'm sure you can guess how I took it, back then." He sighs. "'She's only saying that because she feels bad seeing me try that hard.'" "But..." His palm rests on the shoulder of Ishirou's chassis, uneasily. "It really has been true that I can depend on other people, and accomplish amazing things. You've been there, and even helped, so many times." His hand slides off, and he shrugs. "So... you don't have to be like me, or Hibiki, or spend yourself trying to prove that you can help, because we already know that." He clears he throat, then nods towards Hibiki.
Ishirou	Ishirou gets the message after his meeting with Rita. It took a while for him to recover enough to move. It took him even longer to actually try and return home. It took him a very long time to 'wake up' that morning. It took him a very long time to actually be 'alive' again. By then he reads the message, and he sighs. Ishirou arrives, and there is a diagonally-tilted smiley face complete with a loling tongue in crimson on his face screen. His torso, dent mostly still there has a target in alternating colors marked. His leg has been repaired, but there is obvious damage to the joint. When Go apologizes, he...is completely surprised. He sighs and sucks in a breath. "I thought...I had to do it, to be there, to...try and solve something. Turns out that I was wrong.." he says. Words still echo in his head. "You don't have to apologize...least of all to me. I haven't done a lot of people right...nevermind you and Hibiki," he says shifting to look at Hibiki too. '...she had a good reason to be upset with you.' So does Rita, he thinks. He remembers the void he saw, the feeling of his soul being drained and devoured completely. He shudders, the feeling doesn't quite mesh well with the body, and it causes something of an error before he stops. He turns, looking out over the water after a minute and lowering his head. 'Tell me to calm down when you've done something...' 'At least I'd be doing /something/...' "I thought...I wanted to..." he says, not sure how to say these things. "I want to be..." he finally says, "Like you and Hibiki and Lilian..." he finally says, tearfully. "I don't want to be weak...the weak thing that was forced into slavery...that was forced to pretend he wasn't a person...that failed his home and people over and over and over again.." "I thought I should do something...anything...anything! I couldn't...every time..." he finally slides against the guard rail. "I'm weak...and I'm stupid...and I'm not a hero or anything...just some stupid and damaged child who's pretending to be something he's not.." "Just like she was..." he finally says. "I'm no better than Petra...worse even. At least she could do something. I've let myself be tricked, I've fallen into traps, I put everyone I care about in harm's way...and now I can't even do something as simple as /anything/ without failure.."
Hibiki Tachibana	Hibiki saw Ishirou back at her world, yes - and she stormed off with barely a word to him, beyond the initial surprise the state he's in. This is a much more different, and more personal meeting. It's one that, knowing she's going into it, forces her to think about plenty of things she's been trying to /not/ think about. Trying really hard to, even. But a lot of them are a long time coming. Even before the most recent of things, with Nephra and Rita. Things that come from her, and no one else. Her greeting to Go - in her own usual casualwear of tanktop, jacket, and shorts - is minus a smile. She can't bring herself to make one, not quite. Letting him speak up and say his piece first helps give her a little extra time to process what she wants to say...albeit at that first glance he gives her, on the subject of 'burning yourself out every time', she puts on something of a grimace. It's hard to tell if it's because of the words themselves, or who they came from, and it remains the entire time Ishirou himself gets out what he's feeling. "...I haven't done right by you, either. I'm sorry, Ishirou. really...really sorry." Hibiki can't make herself make eye contact. Well, eye to viewscreen contact. "I apologized for it over the radio before, I know. But I shouldn't have let you fight in the first place, either. Back...then. I was /there/. And I didn't...I couldn't...I thought..." Her lips purse, and she takes in a breath. "...Me messing up back then and misunderstanding everything is why I have to say this to you now." The magical girl looks at him, slumped down against the guard rail. "Being like me, or Go in that sort of way...that doesn't have anything to do with strength. We've failed, all sorts of times. Gotten ourselves hurt doing it. Been tricked. Fallen into traps. ...Made people we care about worry about us. A lot. You know Go better than almost anyone - so I know you've seen how he's come back home, plenty of times." It might sound just a little harsh, saying all of that while standing over him. But after a moment, Hibiki leans in and puts a hand on his chassis' shoulder, like Go had. Her voice lowers. "...Acting like someone you're not isn't going to make you strong. Throwing yourself into things again and again isn't how you do it, either. ...Take it from the experts. I know...how badly you want to do things, and have them be different. But you've already made worlds of difference--and none of them came from acting like...this. Are you gonna make me list all of them?"
Go Shijima	"Yeah," says Go with a sigh. "Going after Petra, I've seen you do and say some ugly things, it's true. If you want to be better, then you're gonna have to acknowledge that some of those traps you fell into... you put down yourself. That voice that tells you there was no other option than what you did, than throwing yourself at 'helping' until you're hanging on by a thread, it comes from inside of you. So does the voice that tells you you're weak." he says, turning to look out over the shore once again. "...and like I told you before, it's never gonna be satisfied, because it comes from you. It isn't the sort of thing you feed, it's the sort of thing you starve." He turns his head briefly, to look at Hibiki, nodding in agreement. "Yeah. I don't know about a list, but... one thing really comes to mind, for sure. Evehime. We were all there. I've done a lot of training, but your help... it was amazing. And Evehime was impressed, too." "So," he says, turning to lean with his back to the rail. "Knock it off with that. And... if there's anything we can do to help, now or in the future, I don't know. Now would be a pretty good time to form a habit of letting us know."
Ishirou	Ishirou listens, and he stops crying. He stops turning on himself as two of his best friends try to remind him who he is. He can't respond, letting the words sink into him, and probably now of all times, he's ready to listen. Especially after what Rita showed him. He couldn't burn himself out, and get a new body. Because if he did, there is a real chance that he wouldn't come back. There are people who can make it stick. He'll just do what he did the first time...he'll put a lot of people in danger. He'll rob the people who love him of something they need. He'll hurt so many people who've come to love him in return. "People keep calling me the smart one.." he says after a moment. Head still lowered. "I wish they'd stop. I'm not smart...I'm not the bright one..." he says finally. "If I were 'the smart one' I'd have figured out a better way to deal with Eggman. I'd have...seen what I was doing to everyone around me. I'd have figured out how much I was hurting Lilian.." "I wouldn't have gotten drawn into that trap...or let Eggman spite me..." he continues. "...So please stop them from saying this. I'm just like everyone else...I don't need these expectations...to be told I have to make the plan.." he says finally. "Including me.."
Hibiki Tachibana	"Sometimes, you can't help but feed it." Hibiki murmurs in response to Go, on the mention of the voice. There's the sense she's saying that to more than just Ishirou, at least until she raises her voice to properly address him. "...And that's why we're here now. Don't let that voice be too loud to ignore, Ishirou. That's not you." It's very hard for her to know the right things to say, but she at least knows Ishirou well enough to know what he's /not/. And he's not like them. Not like that. She lets her hand on his shoulder drag off, and returns to standing up entirely straight again. ...It's kind of funny, in a very not funny way, to think about. After all of that, he took to being more reckless than ever. And she... Hibiki takes in a breath, taking in his words. "...I don't have any experience in being called smart. But I get it. Feeling like everyone expects that from you, that weight...isn't easy. Still, even if you say that..." She trails off for a moment. "If that's what you really want, really really want, I think that's something you should tell them yourself." She glances to Go. "...But I think there's a difference. In being stupid, and in letting your feelings stop you from seeing anything else in front of you."
Go Shijima	"There is," says Go in response to Hibiki, with quickness that leaves little doubt to his certainty. "The issue is in thinking that there's only one kind of 'smart.' Because then, it becomes all or nothing. But... I know what you mean. You don't want that to be everything that you are. And in that case, I have to I with Hibiki. It's okay for you to draw that line, if and when it comes up again." "As for... feelings, that's one kind of 'smart.' Just like with any other kind, it's not something that never changes, either. Instead, it's... like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. You want to do right by us, and we really appreciate that. If you want to be 'smart' in that way, then... the first step is learning to see past your feelings, like Hibiki said." Go sighs and reaches up to sweep his hair back, looking up at the cloudy red-orange sky. He closes his eyes and lets the gentle susurrus of surf against rock fill the empty air, before turning to look back at Ishirou. "Anyway... I wanted to meet with you guys for more reasons than just that. Things have been... weird, lately. Strained. So if there's any way I can help either of you, or if you guys even just want to hang out, I'm happy to."
Ishirou	"...Thanks," he says, knowing they'll try and help him not fall into that trap again. However, they are also right...not being able to see past your feelings and doing things like he was is a different thing. He takes a breath, or...the equivalent of one. It feels like some weight has been taken off of his chest. "I need to get better. Not stronger, I mean..." he says, "I've been very thoughtless with my words...with my emotions...and hurting people around me. Then doubling down.." he sighs, he wants to come out about what Rita did for him, but he can't bring himself to. No, they don't need to know that. That's Rita's place to reveal, he won't betray that. "...There is one thing.." he says finally, looking over to Hibiki. Standing up, he looks back to Go. "About Chase.."
Hibiki Tachibana	"...Yeah. Nobody ever thought you didn't care," Hibiki agrees with Go. "But when you're too caught up in your own head, it's really easy to start doing things that makes it look like the opposite." The tiny bit of strain in her voice makes that sound like it's a little close to home. When Go turns to glance off towards the horizon, her head shifts to follow suit. Unlike him, she stays staring off that way as his offer comes in. 'Weird'. 'Strained'. ...What am I doing? Handing out advice like I know everything, when it's all more confusing than ever. ...I've got to be the biggest hypocrite in the world. "--Oh." Ishirou mentioning Chase brings her back out of her thoughts - and lets her go at least another minute without having to struggle to bring up her own issues. "...That's right. Chase...I got to talk with him just a little bit, the other day." Her eyes close, and her exhales has some frutration in it as she directs her words to Go. "...You came up, and he was really deep set on saying to not listen to...well, anything you say. I wanted to talk to him sometime, but there hasn't been any chance, with how everything has been. And I'm not even sure how I'd start..." Or is that just another excuse...?
Go Shijima	The mention of Chase has Go looking right at Ishirou, with a mixture of apprehension and fatigue. "...about Chase." he eventually repeats. Hibiki's mention of him thereafter draws a sigh, and his head hangs. "Yeah. Things have been like that between us for a while. It isn't too long ago that I would've been saying that about him." Pushing off of the rail, he stuffs his hands into his pockets and paces over to the opposite side of the boardwalk, to peer over the rail into the water. "I want to settle things with him, but at the end of the day, the Roidmudes' safety and happiness is more important, as much as I might want things to be okay between us." He rocks on his heels, slightly, before looking over his shoulder. "I have a feeling I know, but... why did you ask?"
Ishirou	"...Well before all this happened.." Ishirou says, with a sigh, "We were trying to figure out what to do.." he says motioning his head towards Hibiki. "You know...after you came back really thrashed by him," Ishirou comments. "I suppose we wanted to know what was going on there, besides what we already know," Ishirou admits. "...But if it's gotten this bad, I wonder," he comments, thinking about it. "...though right now I can't do much until I get my new form."
Hibiki Tachibana	"Yeah, you would have been...and I don't think I've ever seen Chase like this, either." Hibiki sighs in response to Go. "It's...not good." Honestly, seeing him like this might be...the most emotional she's ever seen him be about anything. Ever. Ishirou speaks up on things more, and she lets out a low sound from her throat, looking out over the ocean once again. "...Still, you're not going to be entirely happy until you /do/ get things sorted out. Isn't that right, Go?" Her hands come out from her pockets to grip onto the railing. A little too tightly, as she angles her words towards Ishirou. "...And after you get your new body?"
Go Shijima	"Yeah. I thought so," says Go in response to Ishirou with a small, sad smile. "You both already know the situation with the Roidmudes, my father's part in it, the Special Investigation Unit's part, and mine. How I thought that protecting people meant destroying Roidmudes." He closes his eyes briefly, fists balled at his side. "Now I'm trying to be something other than a target-destroying Kamen Rider, but all I am to Chase is a killer, and he's not wrong to see me that way. I thought maybe... maybe if I opened up to him, then we could start to fix things. But it isn't so easy, to just undo the ugly things you've done in anger. And, in trying to, I hurt him again." Go's palms press into the rail as he hoists himself up to sit on it, hands clasped between his knees. "I lost my temper and... basically held myself hostage." He winces, one hand squeezing the other at the wrist. "It was one of the worst things I've done in a while, just because I was frustrated over having to reap after years of sowing." He glances up from his hands to look Hibiki in the eye, and shrugs his shoulders. "The point is that I can't try to control Chase's reaction to me. Whether I'm happy with that or not, doesn't matter. So I'm going to take these feelings and do something with them, instead of making them his problem." "The Roidmudes that are dead, because of me, because of Tomari... I'm going to bring them back."
Ishirou	"...So that's why you were there," Ishirou thinks. "With Evahime, I mean," Ishirou continues. He listens to what Go says about what he did, and what happened, and... He places one of his mechanical hands-on Go's shoulder, trying to be comforting. He doesn't say anything else, just letting that be a comfort to him. "I...am second guessing my own wish.." he admits. "I thought that maybe returning our memories of our past selves was right but.." he sighs. "Now I am not so sure.." He turns to Hibiki and pauses. "I don't know, actually. Maybe we should talk to Chase himself. But...I think we both know where that will go. Which will be rough, if it's just the two of us.." he says. He starts to think about something... "It's not recklessness, I promise," he says to Go. "I..." he says looking at both of them, "...I have to admit something. Rita...was very upset with me, and I can't blame her. She wanted to show me that destroying myself was..." he pauses, "Not how to fix things either. So...she showed me what she can do.." "And that others can do it too. That just going until you break isn't the answer, and that eventually someone will end it, without anything you or anyone else can do.." "He may not believe you, but he should have a harder time shutting my words out. Also...I am someone who knows you pretty well."
Hibiki Tachibana	"...I guess that's true," Hibiki says with a little bit of a frown, when Go shrugs at her. Instead of making them his problem...when he says it like that, it makes sense. But how does he plan to do something, if not involving Chase...? Oh. That's how. "Bring them back--" Ishirou helps make it click. Her expression goes from surprise to contemplation over several seconds. "All of them...?" She doesn't have to say out loud that even that wouldn't be 'undoing the ugly things' alone by itself - but it'd go a long way to start. "...I really hope you can. I don't--...I want to see the Roidmudes be able to be happy, too." Hibiki glances towards Ishirou afterwards, and her mouth falls open slightly. Both at the revelation of exactly how Rita convinced him, and that he intends on still going through with trying to reach Chase, even with how it might go. You know what fighting is, don't you? Her grip on the railing clenches in, and her focus is off to the horizon rather than either of them. "...You're really set on trying to convince him, Ishirou?"
Go Shijima	"Yes and no," says Go. "It's part of why I was there, but not the whole reason. Part of me wanted to see how much stronger I'd gotten. And... I wanted to see if she was the same person I knew before. Neither of us are the same, and I think I'm happy with that." Looking down at Ishirou from his seat on the rail, Go takes his metal hand into both of his own, and squeezes lightly. "He doesn't have to believe me. Besides... I don't know how I feel," he continues, before releasing Ishirou's hand, "About you guys going and trying to convince him otherwise." Frowning, After a pause, he shakes his head. "Come to think of it, no. Don't to that. Let him come to the conclusion himself, even if it takes a long time. Let any fights that happen be ones that he picks himself." "If you want to help, then help me convince Aruto Hiden to let us use his company's resources to bring those Roidmudes back. All of them," he says with absolute certainty, nodding to Hibiki.
Ishirou	Ishirou makes a face at Go that might be, 'Why am I not surprised.' However, it's more good-natured than anything. With a sigh, he shakes his head, and turns to Hibiki, "Yeah, I am." he says finally. Though even though Go says not to...he doesn't say okay or acknowledge that he said it at all. "Well, we can help with that too, Go," Ishirou says, about convincing Aruto Hiden. "Though...what is it that causes the Roidmules to...evolve? Advance? Some seem more sophisticated than others, and I know they can take the forms of others. What are they actually trying to do?" he asks. "There is going to be more than just bringing them back too, Go. They were wronged, and then they were killed. There is something deeper...a bridge that needs to be crossed first before any of this will go forward."
Hibiki Tachibana	Go wants to let Chase come to his own answers, but Ishirou is set on doing it anyway. Once again, Hibiki finds herself at a crossroads between two friends--well, that's not to say that the situation between Chase and Go isn't serious, but it's not nearly as big or dramatic of one as the previous times she's thinking of. But it still doesn't feel good at all, not knowing what to do in the middle of both options. Why is it this hard to hear her heart pulling her one way or another...? I'm beginning to miss the Tachibana who would take action when people are wrong. "I'm not going to pick a fight with Chase--" Hibiki spins back around to face the others a little /too/ fast, a little too hastily. She seems to realize it a moment later, sideglancing away and lowering her voice down. "...But I still want to talk to him anyway. Not because I want to try and...convince him on your behalf, Go. Especially if you don't want that. But I want to do it as his friend, who's worried about him." "...And," she adds on after a moment, making herself look back at Go. "...you are, too. So if that's what you need, I'll do whatever I can. Aruto Hiden...I think I remember him?"
Go Shijima	"I know. I've made strides, trust me," says Go to Ishirou. "And I've thought about this a lot. It isn't a spur of the moment thing that's only coming up just now. I'm not doing this because I want to swoop in like some sort of savior. I'm doing it because it's necessary. There were only 108 of them made. That any of them should be punished permanently, for one mistake... it's wrong." "As for why they evolve... Roidmudes are drawn to a given emotion. They don't always know what it is, at first. But the ones that develop an interest in a particfular emotion and explore it are the ones that evolve, from what I've seen. 'What they're trying to do' is..." He shrugs his shoulders. "What is anyone 'trying to do?'" Go asks, looking directly at Ishirou's screen. "What do the people of one country want, versus a different country?" He pushes off the guardrail, sneakers hitting the well-traveled planks of the boardwalk with a light 'thunk.' "They're trying to do what's going to keep them safe. It's just that... between the actions of the Special Investigation Unit, my actions, and humanity's... problems," he says with a frown of distaste, "Heart, Brain and Medic have gotten the idea that they can only be safe and happy if humanity is driven out or subservient. And since they were some of the first to evolve, the others look up to them for guidance and leadership." "I haven't just been fighting to protect them. I've been trying to show them ways to take care of themselves and each other, ways to find happiness where they can. Protecting their smiles, not just their bodies. I figure... if more of us did that, even when they act out of hurt and put people in danger, then it would go a long way towards changing the way humans and Roidmudes see each other." He frowns, shying away from Hibiki's stern glance, when she wheels around. His fingers hang awkwardly at his sides, but he speaks up, softly, after a moment. "Thanks, Hibiki," he says. "For being his friend. And for being mine." Sighing through his nose, Go looks back her way, and nods once. "His company makes Humagears, those really advanced androids. To him they're people, with hearts and dreams, I think. So if I'm right about that, I think we'd have some common ground. But even so, what we want is a big ask for the president of a company. It's possible those AIMS guys, the regulatory bureau for Humageears, would rake him over the coals for it. That's way... I really appreciate your help. Both of you." He moves further down the boardwalk, walking towards his bike parked a short walk away. "I should get back to writing up backup plans, in case that doesn't work." That familiar determined look on his face, he lifts a hand briskly in farewell.
Ishirou	Ishirou looks to Hibiki, and smiles slightly. "Well, good...because fighting is the last thing I want to do," he says and turns to Go. He listens, trying to understand the Roidmules better. Maybe...he should also try and learn from them, themselves...it might reveal some things. He takes a breath...but he's got to be careful and smart about it too. "Right. I understand Go. I'll support you, alright?" He says, and then hops off the railing and stands. "I...should go see if Dragonfly will even fix me up the rest of the way. Thanks..." he says, to them both, "...Thanks for helping me...and for being my friends."
Hibiki Tachibana	When Go shies away like that, Hibiki can't help but feel bad for it almost instantly. But when he eases up, she swallows and nods back, letting her weight rest back against the railing. "...Yeah. I remember AIMS, too..." Her eyes close. "...Right. I think Aruto would be really sympathetic towards helping. So if they or anything else would stop him from helping, if he wants to...we'll do what we can. I promise, Go." Still, negotiating with a company president for something like this...yeah. That's not going to be easy, she thinks. Well, she gets along with Kuroto well enough, so maybe... When Go starts heading off, Hibiki brings a hand up to wave him off. And then Ishirou, too. "...Don't mention it, Ishirou. Just make sure you don't gotta have this kinda talk again, yeah? It's like he said--nobody wants to dogpile you. We just...care." Still, she thinks he's gotten the idea, especially after the last few days. "We'll talk about all the stuff we gotta do some other time. It's all actually starting to pile up again, huh...?" And while those two head off, she's going to end up staying a while, turning back to look over the sea. Helping Chase, helping the Roidmudes...and by extension, helping Go. ...She can do that, right?