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Kale Hearthward	WHY IN THE SHRINE OF ADVERSITY? Cost. And convenience. There are innumerable Kitchen Stadiums, Battle Chef Arenas, and of course the Iron Speedway in Nashville Tennessee. But all of those are private venues belonging to their respective traditions, competition circuits, or etcetera - and for an unsanctioned event, there are waitlists and applications and rental fees. Even then there's logistical issues to be sorted out - transport, setting up the venue, AV, security... Whereas for a competition taking place in the Shrine, Kale can flash his annual membership card at the front desk and get an all inclusive package handling practically everything. And for a competition involving one or more Concord members as competitors, the price gets slashed further. It's lazy and cheap, but then again: do you *really* want to fend off murderous food truck crews going both ways to attend an event in Nashville? Or do you want to catch an air-conditioned shuttle from the Grand Dorado warpgate, going across the bridge to the Shrine? This event is televised. That is made one hundred percent clear even before getting to the venue - on some of the Shrine's many screens, there's already a live feed being displayed of the empty stage. Elite vs. Elite events draw a lot of interest, <choose one> (even if) / (especially because) it's not physical combat this time. Indeed, there's already a line to get in, unless you're a competitor or judge... and adjacent to that line, there's a pop-up vendor cart that's selling small plushies of all three competitors, with tiny frying pan plushies that attach to their hands with magnets. There's also a cookbook full of recipes supposedly sourced from elites, like Lilian Rook's Afternoon Tea and Biscuits ("You have all the time in the world for tea")) or Kamen Rider Woz's King Cake ("So delicious it'll make you rejoice"), but it's of dubious authenticity.
Kale Hearthward	Once through the doors and into the extradimensional arena space, the venue is set up thusly: General seating is in a half-circle ring around the north end of the stadium. There's nothing special there, aside from more snack and merch vendors. There's a VIP box just south of that, for any elites who aren't judges or competitors. Aside from all the creature comforts, there's also an announcer table with microphones and dedicated cameras in the box. It seems to be open for anyone to use? (If nobody ends up announcing, Kale's crew fills the table before the competition starts.) There's also a full service breakfast buffet, along with omelet and waffle stations and a juice bar. The judges have a table at the center north of the arena. The seating is automagically adequate and comfortable for even someone like Bowser, resizing and adjusting as needed. There's a single bottle of water at each judging seat, but no other refreshments. What the judges do have, though, are control panels. Each of the control panels is full of buttons and sliders with labels like 'stovetop power cutoff switch' and 'extreme fog production slider', simple ones like 'press here to switch sugar and salt shakers' or vaguely worded ones like 'localized porcine rarity modulator', and any number of other things that indiscriminately mess with all three competitors or their stations. The control panels are hidden such that the competitors can't see what the judges are doing with them or who pressed what, or if anything was actually pressed at all. Just south of the judging table is a raised dias that each competitor will need to ascend to reach the judging table. There's five stairs and no ramp. This may be important to keep in mind for later! More towards the south are the three competitor stations. There's no rule given about bringing in outside equipment or supplies, but what's available by default is a simple induction/gas range and oven, like one would find in a suburban kitchen, a sink and cutting board, and a simple set of kitchen utensils, eating utensils, plates, and serving trays. And then finally along the south wall there's an array of other mundane equipment, and fridges and shelves of mundane ingredients.
Kale Hearthward	There are three rules 1. The competitors cannot directly attack each other. 2. You cannot begin mise en place till the timer starts, and you must be ready to plate and serve when the timer is up. 3. The meal served must satisfy the style specified by the challengee (it must include eggs, bacon, sausage, and pancakes as noncontiguous items - e.g. a Grand Slam) Beyond that - anything goes, as long as the judges allow it...? When the appointed hour gets close, the general audience starts filing into the stadium, filling up the seats. The competitors and judges may have their own little fanfares coming in (or not), and can take their positions... ... Though, per the rules, *no cooking can take place yet*. There's timers displayed prominently throughout the arena, showing that the competitors will have thirty real-time minutes (or about 3-4 narrative hours) to cook, and then there'll be a little time after that to finish plating and to serve. No cooking yet. No reaching for tools or ingredients yet. Now is just the time for introductions, dramatic poses, and whatever other preparations are needed.
Bowser	Notably, Bowser is a veteran of the Iron Speedway, though his delivery leaves something to be desired. As this is televised, Lakitus are already dropping in out of the air. Each one holds a camera on a fishing pole, manipulating each pole with perfect grace and precision. Each has a heavy set of headphones on, equipped with a microphone. Koopa Troopas run in, holding paper fireworks cannons, quickly slamming them onto the ground in the walkway up to the judge's station. Explosions of glitter burst into the air, forming the iconic Bowser symbol in red and generally spreading extremely hard to remove glitter on everyone. Sound engineer ninji leap into the announcer box, putting on large red headphones. Immediately, loud music begins to play, Bowser's iconic theme, well known for being piped in all across his Kingdom. Bowser takes his time to walk up it, shoulders high, chin up. He lifts his arms up into the air every few minutes, letting out a roar towards the crowd. He has a huge white fur lined cape that trails behind him as he walks up the judge's stand. Only to stop. He looks at the chair provided. He stares at it. "GOOMBAS!" One big mitt grabs the chair and HURLS it into the sky. Goombas rush up with a throne, setting it where the chair once was. Bowser throws the cape aside, which the goombas expertly catch and parade off. He seats himself at the chair. Shouts of 'Camera 1, go' and 'Camera 2, go' and 'Camera 3, go' fill the air. Ninjis in the box give big thumbs up. A huge person sized red and white mask with a demonic grin floats above the stadium, microphone taped against the face of it. It has the classic wrestling announcer voice, you know the one. "WELCOME TO THE HALLS OF BREAKFAST! Since time immemorial, Breakfast has been the most important meal of the day, giving kings and queens the energy they need to rule, workers the energy they need to craft skyscrapers, farmers the energy to make MORE breakfast, and princesses the energy they need to date powerful men who want to love and support them. At the halls of breakfast, our combatants will test these VITAL SKILLS to craft THE ULTIMATE BREAKFAST. The winner will be crowned... BREAKFAST BOY(non gendered). The loser will be THROWN INTO THE LAVA PITS!" Down from the air floats a mighty line cook uniform and cape, emblazoned with 'The Breakfast Boy' on the cape. "NOW, LET'S SEE OUR COMPETITORS! AND GET READY TO BREAAAAAAAK FAAAAAAAAAAST!" Ninji start cuing up music. If you did not choose it, it will be chosen for you at your own peril.
Angela	Nonon isn't allowed to wear EGO Gear to a televised event and is only even being allowed to participate in this Breakfast Boy competition so she stops yelling about it over the Banter band. Shajo is in the audience and is probably present in order to console Nonon if she loses... And Angela--or rather, the Eggpack has been set down by Cinder in one of the judge's seats before the latter left her there. Angela's screen stares balefully out into the distance as the mechanical arms of the Eggpack practices lifting and holding utensils without dropping them. It takes her a few tries before she's satisfied. Maybe the Eggpack has a secret mouth somewhere in order to consume materials (It does not). Nonon is wearing a facemask in case the Middle is watching (It won't work) and a large tote that has a dark blue skull and crossbones on it. She already has an apron on with the words 'THE COOK FUCKS YOU' on it with a red pair of lips on it (as if wearing lipstick). She is also wearing long black slacks and a white buttoned blouse, the words NONON'S KITCHEN in black on the back that look like they've been stitched on. rather than as an intrinsic part of the design. Nonon makes her way to her station, all grins. She is thrilled to be here and, as you might have expected, has joined the competition largely for the thrill of it. Once she gets there, she pulls up a case she's brought herself, with pink casing, with the words ROSESPANNER WORKSHOP COOKWARE emblazoned on it. She opens it up, revealing an unusual set of knives, an eggbeater, and other tools. "Heh..." Nonon says, drawing out her mic as her theme music starts playing. BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8ju_10NkGY "I AM NONON!" She shouts. "There is NOTHING I can't do! I worked on many-a-ship and had to make the best meals with the worst materials--consider that like training weights! GA HA HA! I'll make Kale Heathward become the BREAKFAST CHUMP after I defeat him in a Breakfast Battle!" She doesn't reach for the tools (it's not time yet) but she adds, "I've been training day and night for this day, so he better bring his A Game because I know BREAKFAST is the most important meal of the day!!" She suplexes a chair that had been set aside from her into the floor shattering it into splinters for no readily apparent reason.
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	Shinmyoumaru wasn't entirely sure what she was getting into when she challenged Kale for the position of Breakfast Boy, but nobody else was doing it so she had decided that she would. Of course, Nonon had ended up doing so at almost the same time, but that wasn't going to get Shinmyoumaru to *withdraw* her challenge. Chicken out? Are you mad? But she'd done her research. She'd sampled the Grand Slam. She'd cooked the Grand Slam to the point that her ally and possibly-friend Seija Kijin had told Shinmyoumaru to stop giving her the leftovers because she was sick of them and they weren't very good anyway. (But Seija always talked this way, so Shinmyoumaru didn't think much of it.) She'd even looked up other foreign breakfasts, just in case Kale threw a last-minute swerve at her. And now she's here. It's her first time in the Shrine of Adversity, surprisingly, so it's all new and it doesn't even register that it's Kale taking the easy way to set it up; this is more people than she's seen before in one place. And, surprising her, a number of them seem to be supporting *her*. It's a good feeling (even if she certainly doesn't have as many fans as Kale, being less well-known; she's not sure about Nonon) and she's already feeling very good about herself. Shinmyoumaru is wearing a simpler red robe because she doesn't want to get it dirty. Of course, 'simpler' for her still means it's got some frill along the bottom hem and a reasonably fancy sash, but it doesn't have long trailing sleeves - actually, it has short sleeves - and it isn't itself ornate or embroidered. Overtop of it, she has put an apron. The apron is also frilled. Just a little. She has decided to bring her floating bowl along, and in fact rides it in; it moves like it was gliding through slow-moving water. If she has brought anything in, it's hidden more or less beneath her and her outfit. As an added bonus, being in a hovering bowl means that she has no worries about being too short for the counters; Kale's question if she needed a hand made her annoyed, and she doesn't want him to ask again. Sure, she's only four feet tall, today. But that's enough! Inspired by various entrances, Shinmyoumaru isn't content to just let her bowl coast in. She plants one hand on the doorframe as she enters and then propels herself at top speed toward what she intensely hopes is *her* station and not one of the other ones. Her bowl trails sparkles of light that take some time to fade away, giving her a comet tail shine. "My name is Shinmyoumaru Sukuna!" Shinmyoumaru does not have a microphone, but for someone so small she's *loud*. "I'm here to challenge for the position of Breakfast Boy! And if Kale and Nonon want to give up now before they're defeated by superior Grand Slamming they can do that right now!" She momentarily wished she'd thought this part through a little better. She didn't know introductions were part of the challenge! She doesn't even have any words on her apron. But she's beaming nonetheless, even when Nonon suplexes a chair. "Now it's my turn to show you some real breakfast!" Shinmyoumaru did not pick any music because it never occured to her that she needed to. The chance of peril is imminent. The audience also contains one youkai: Seija Kijin. Black-haired, except for the locks that are white or red; short pointed horns; a white dress with arrow patterning in red and black down near the bottom of the skirt and on the little shawl. She looks intensely bored. Shinmyoumaru waves to her anyway. Seija puts on a blatantly false smile to wave back... and then gets up, walking over toward the judge's table and vaulting the barricade between her and it. "I'll be borrowing this open seat," she says to Bowser and Angela, without really *asking*. She swings one of the chairs around and sits in it backwards, tilting it precariously onto two legs. Much better. ...is she capable of sitting normally? (no) She can be shooed off if necessary, but... maybe they need another judge?
Petra Soroka	At this point, one would expect Petra to be mostly immune to the temptations of Elite merchandice. Most Elites are subject to her disdain rather than her awe, by now; Nonon is just a coworker, Shinmyoumaru is a near-stranger, Kale Hearthward is Kale Hearthward. But for some reason, the impulse is irresistable, when she sees the little plushie of Kale with a frying pan.     It's cute, sure; Kale's features are arguably better suited to a chibified stuffie than his own face. It's a signifier of Kale, sure, but though Petra has plenty of enmity/rivalry/rocky friendship with Kale, she's not quite so insane that she would get any catharsis out of tormenting a plushie of him. She shoulders her way to the front of the line-- oh, wait, they actually recognize me in public now?-- and pays for one not out of particular love, not out of hate, but out of a secret third thing.     --Not that secret third thing, but a different one: the overwhelming urge to put it in a pot of boiling water, or the oven, or char it without catching it on fire, and so on. She wonders, briefly, why she's thinking of the stuffed dog she had as a kid again. She hasn't thought about it in a while.     Petra is grateful to see that there's a VIP box, because now that she's aware she's a *known* VIP, she's glad to not have to sit in the general seating. Her comfort with the event being televised also, surprisingly, is pretty high! She's not very well done-up for TV, lacking the typical layers of foundation and makeup necessary to look good on it, but she just decides not to think about that, and instead reflects on the strange sensation of being known to the public. She's not exactly a *celebrity*, certainly, and this is a location that's particularly inclined to have people who recognize Elites, but the last time she expected to walk down a street and have someone whose face she doesn't recognize know her name... well, not recognizing faces is a weakness of hers anyways. But it had to have been when she lived on Io, the last time that she was 'known' like that, and 'a small town' is different from the general public.     She's less glad to see that Angela has been put in the position of judging food. Or that... there aren't judges? Well, Lilian isn't here; as her surrogate, and in an echo of the hopefully worse-fated maid-off of last year, Petra decides this is her sacred duty to perform.     It's right as she's walking over there that Seija takes the last seat. "Huh? What the fuck? Who are you?" How dare someone Petra doesn't recognize take the seat next to Angela. Petra isn't so psychotically violent that she'll immediately escalate against Seija, so she just leans against the judges' table where the seat had been, narrowing her eyes at Seija. "I've decided I'm judging. Gimme the seat."     Then leaning down, voice lowered to be inaudible to anyone else beneath Bowser's booming announcement. "Hey, Ange, are you... is this on... purpose? Are you being pranked? Do you need help? A swap out or something?"     Petra turns back to the stage, planting her palms on it to lean forwards and slightly out of the VIP box, locking eyes with Kale with a mean-spirited smile. "Alright, Hearthward. Try your best not to lose so badly that Ishirou dies again, won't you?" "I've been training day and night for this day, so he better bring his A Game because I know BREAKFAST is the most important meal of the day!!"     Petra notices Nonon's apron, finally, and mutters an awestruck "Holy shit..." that she doesn't realize is picked up by the microphone on the judge's table.
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	"Get your own seat," Seija responds to Petra, leaning waaaay back so she can give an unpleasant upside-down grin. "Actually, I've got a better idea. Nice plushie." Seija stands up, picks up her chair and brings it with her specifically so that Petra cannot have it (but opens up the spot next to Angela), and carries the entire thing over to the announcer's table, where she drops it with a thump. Now there are too many chairs there. This only means that Seija will sit in one and put her feet on another one.
Kale Hearthward	https://i.ibb.co/6BTctpJ/arena.png Nonon smashing a chair gets an approving reaction from the crowd. This is what they're here to see, right? And then Kale makes his entrance. https://youtu.be/-bzWSJG93P8 He's spruced things up - his cape is bearing a bacon and eggs pattern of white outlines over a black background, he's got a poofy chefs hat balanced on his head, and he's toting a duffel bag over one shoulder. "Hmmph," says Kale, reaching his podium after a stately walk. "Experience... is nothing next to motivation." He drops the duffel bag he's carrying. It clinks - it's full of his own tools and supplies. "And I - am the most motivated. I'm the most driven." "You can be on any ship you care to name - it won't compare to the training I've gone through. I've-" Kale pauses, and does a double take at Nonon's uniform. "Is.... language like that allowed?" (There isn't a rule against it.) > "Try your best not to lose so badly that Ishirou dies again, won't you?" "Hey! We're not supposed to talk about that incident, remember!" Kale crosses his arms. "Besides, I actually won, anyway." Oh, wait, Petra's a judge. Relitigating all of this is not in Kale's best interest right now. "Not that it matters. Ahem." Then he sees the Kale plushie, and isn't sure what to make of it. Seija gets evicted from the judge's table, and ends up by various contrivances at the announcer's table - currently sharing it with one other person. "Oh, hey!" says Hazelthistle. "You here to announce too? I thought there'd be someone professional for it, but it looks like it's just us?" She grabs one of the microphones. "The judges are seated (after some last minute changes), the competitors are stationed... it's time to begin!" There's a buzzer. The thirty minute timer starts ticking down.
Bowser	Ninjis work quickly in the booth to blur the 'fucks' out of Nonon's uniform as other Ninji's cue up the music. Bowser squints at Nonon, muttering, 'The cook fudges you?', scratching at his head. Plants in the crowd, some of the pirahna variety, some of them of the Koopa Troopa variety, start cheering as Nonon walks up to the stage, encouraging a roar of the crowd to start. Those who haven't brought their own signs have had some handed out. Like 'NONON WILL PALINDROME YOUR ASS!' and 'NONON WILL KEELHAUL YOU!' and 'FINAL FANTASY VIII ACTUALLY HAS A VERY INVOLVED AND WELL WRITTEN BACKGROUND LORE THAT YOU REALLY NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO SO YOU CAN APPRECIATE IT.' The crowd EXPLODES into cheers as the chair breaks into splinters. Phanto floats over the stage, to Nonon's corner, "It looks like we got a real pirate cook here, pirate cooks infamous for being both extremely good cooks and for using the worst ingredients to make the best food! She's gonna be a FIERCE competitor As Shimnyoumaru comes out, the Ninji are struggling to find something, tapping rapidly on phones, until finally, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47nuMUEswgY plays over the speakers. Phanto swirls downwards, a card taped in front of its eye. "Let's see here! Shinmyoumaru is a member of the Inchlings, tiny humanoids who live in the Shining Needle Palace in Gensokyo! She is TINY! But fierce! Ten pounds of BREAKFAST COOKING AWESOME in a two pound package! Let's hear it for MISS SHINMYOUMARU!!!" The crowd erupts again, signs being waved like 'SIZE DOESN'T MATTER!' and 'THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL!' and 'PRINCESSES COME IN EVERY SIZE!' and 'FINAL FANTASY V IS VASTLY OVERRATED BY THE COMMUNITY. IT HAD A NOVEL JOB SYSTEM, BUT THE STORY AND EXECUTION WERE LACKING.' A ninji gives Seika a headset so she can speak alongside the Phanto. Hazel thistle is also made sure to have a headset. "And there is Kale Hearthwood, Former East wind, Chevalier, and the REIGNING undefeated Breakfast Boy. Known for his unbreakable will and fighting record, he will be a fearsome competitor!" Explosive cheers roar up from the crowd for Kale, a 'televised event celebrity', signs being thrown up such as 'THE EAST WIND WILL BLOW YOU DOWN' and 'MAID CHAMPION KALE!' and 'FINAL FANTASY X WAS OBJECTIVELY THE BEST FINAL FANTASY, IT HAD THE MOST ROBUST COMBAT SYSTEM AND NARRATIVELY COMPLETE STORYLINE OF ALL OF THEM.' Phanto floats up to the center of the arena, going upward, "Competitors! COOK OR DIE!!!" The Ninji are trying desparately to text to the prompters that no dying is actually involved. Bowser, who is not actually shouting, but just sitting there, looks over at Angela, looking up and down at her robot body. "So uh... you can eat this stuff right?" He looks over at Petra, "Hey! I liked your haunted house!"
Angela	How dare someone Petra doesn't recognize take the seat next to Angela! Actually, Angela doesn't recognize her either. Her viewscreen swivels to take a long look at Seija. "Hello," Angela says to her. "I am Angela. It seems we will be coworkers today, what's your name--" Not if Petra has anything to say about it as she busts on over and leans in to her to ask a private question. Naturally, Petra is well aware that Angela cannot eat or drink and as such is pretty limited in capacity as a cooking competition judge. It's also true that she isn't even actually technically present herself. "Well," Angela murmurs to Petra. "We were asked to provide a judge. Naturally, Chewie volunteered first but when we told him the competition would be over a 'Grand Slam' style breakfast, he complained that it was way too pedestrian for him and bounced so SHajo tried to take the spot in order to give Nonon an unfair advantage but Nonon found out and... had a discussion with Shajo I do not wish to repeat but involved taking over one of the offices. Ceri then took the spot but got pulled away by rehab scheduling. At this point, the Agents learned the event would be televised and a brawl broke out in Safety resulting in numerous injuries. There did not seem to be any sign of it stopping so The Manager volunteered but I informed him that I could see through his blatant attempt to go outside, which is not allowed, which ended with the Sephirah having a rather exuberant discussion about whether they could have the food shipped to the facility at which point, for me, the discussion had been going on for about a decade so I informed the Agents and Sephirah I would be taking the job so as to put a stop to the argument." Angela is quiet a moment before continuing, "My plan was to just not show but Cinder said I could judge on presentation and sound and it was a quiet evening at the facility so here I am." She pauses another moment again before smiling, just for Petra. "But being able to judge with you is a great pleasure for me. Thank you for coming down." The smile is gone in just a moment as she impassively turns to look at the Kale plushie. "..." Her gaze slants back up to look into Petra's eyes. "There is an oven here if you'd like to make use of it." MEANWHILE Nonon gets to work on the eggs, taking an ominous looking mace with a prong at the end, pops the egg yolks into the bowl and starts beating the shit out of it with her Workshop tool. "Gaha... GAHAHAHA... Eight Chefs Eat Your Hearts Out! GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! DIE EGGS DIE!" Once that's done, she moves onto the bacon, her hands a blur as as the edges of the blades heat up vibrantly as she chops the bacon into smaller tinier bits. "GEheh Geheheheheh...." Chop chop chop chop chopchopchopchop!
Petra Soroka	""My plan was to just not show but Cinder said I could judge on presentation and sound and it was a quiet evening at the facility so here I am."     Petra is quietly attentive, displaying sympathy, all throughout Angela's explanation. At the end, she nods in understanding, mirrors a bit of Angela's smile, and then lowers her voice further and nods her head to the other audience members in the VIP box. "But... Ange... Cinder's right here." "Actually, I've got a better idea. Nice plushie."     "Wh-- they're *on sale* right *outside*, dumbass! Plushies are cute! Not this one, but still! Go fuck yourself!" Petra puffs out an irritated breath, making her bangs flutter, when Seija relocates. "Brat. ... Fuck, I don't have a fucking chair anymore."     The other chairs in the VIP box are bolted to the ground, since they're the more comfortable type. Petra wanders over to Cinder to say hi and attempt to tug up the one beside her anyways, but it's futile. Petra just has to stand for the entire competition. "Experience... is nothing next to motivation."     "Chriiiiiist." Petra draws out her utterly disbelieving eye-rolling groan to such a dramatic degree that she rolls her whole head along with it, acting *physically* pained. It's in good spirit, though; vaguely subliminally similar to overacting dismay and secondhand embarrassment on behalf of a particularly dorky older brother. "The *cape*? The *march*? Kale, if I didn't refuse to be the first one to make a breakfast pun, I'd make fun of you for hamming it up so much. Holy shit."     Petra finally looks down at the little laminated rules card on the table, seeing what the job she's signed up for actually is. Petra snorts, saying aside to Angela and still forgetting that the microphone is there, "Of course the first rule is that they can't attack each other. Typical Elite thing, right? But, you know, it just says the *competitors* can't do it." Petra is thinking back to Lilian spitting on her on camera, not that there's anyone competing she'd be inclined to do that to. She idly rotates what kind of arbitrary, non-sexually-charged violence she *would* want to do the competitors. That other princess looks like a kid, but she says she's an adult, right? She's so small that I want to hit her over the head with a hammer. Like a whack-a-mole. "Hey! I liked your haunted house!"     It would be hard not to recognize Bowser, even for Petra, but she gets close. She squints, hesitates, and then knocks her knuckle against the table. "Oh? Oh! Yeah, I was really proud of it. Angela and Lilian had a really good time." This is the objective marker of quality, in her mind.     To the competitors as a group, Petra calls out, leaning her cheek on her fist while bent over nearly ninety degrees to make up for the lack of chair, "I granted the first Breakfast Boy his crown, you know, so I'm the only experienced judge here. My standards will be *especially* high, so watch out." Her stomach grumbles. She didn't eat breakfast today, because of being tied up with an emergency with the Girl in the Mirror.     "And, you know, one of the qualities *I* think is most important," Ah, she's hamming it up a bit too. She's actually having a lot of fun. "Is strength under adversity."     Petra does not actually care to hide her motion to press one of the hazard buttons. Subtlety isn't her game; her enemies may cry and beg for mercy and none shall receive it. The entire stage starts quaking, rattling pots and pans, making cutting extraordinarily dangerous, throwing off balance, and potentially even knocking ingredients to the ground.
Kale Hearthward	Kale gets into motion. The duffel bag contains a small cooler, from which he withdraws his carefully chosen ingredients. He hadn't finalized his plan yet, since he wasn't quite sure who was going to show up to judge, but now that he knows he can adjust things on the fly. THE SAUSAGES: The sausages get pulled out first - they're packaged breakfast sausages from a grocery store, since actually starting from scratch on sausages takes longer than Kale's willing to risk. The seasoning that goes on them is a bespoke blend - and after glancing at the judge's table, he adds some extra hot spices to one of the sets of sausages. With that ready, he gets the oven preheating and sets the tray of sausages aside for the moment. THE EGGS: Kale considers his options. Poached? Poached would be good for flavor and quickly making three servings, but - He looks over the judge's table. Bowser looks like he's just going to inhale whatever's put in front of him, Petra probably didn't start eating right until this time last year, and Angela- - Can Angela even eat? He should focus on presentation over taste, then. Sunny side up it is, as close to TV ad quality as he can. He grabs the half dozen - no, wait, gotta account for Bowser - full dozen eggs, and sets them aside. > "There is an oven here if you'd like to make use of it." Kale glances over. He's not sure what to make of... that? > "Gaha... GAHAHAHA... Eight Chefs Eat Your Hearts Out! GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! DIE EGGS DIE!" He's... not sure what to make of that, either. Nonon is spirited! ... Too spirited for him, maybe? Kale's trying to keep a cool head. Now he's second-guessing whether he needs to put more passion and less calculation into his choices... ... And that's when Petra presses the hazard button for the earthquake. "Stale winds!" Kale's dozen eggs shake right off of the table and onto the floor.
Kale Hearthward	Kale stares down at his broken eggs. Somewhere in the back of the arena, there's more eggs, if he wants to go spend time searching for them. ... Or... Kale gets into motion again - kicking on his jet boots, and flying across the arena - not towards the fridges and shelves, but towards the other competitors. He's going to try to steal *their* eggs.
Petra Soroka	"There is an oven here if you'd like to make use of it."     At first, Petra was content to accept this line from Angela at face value. Angela is, after all, one of her best friends in the multiverse, and one of extremely few granted the title of 'us', so her mind-reading prescience is natural, really. But it doesn't take Petra very long to remember that Angela can't read her mind, actually, and that she didn't say anything about her intentions out loud.     She gives the image on the Eggpack a strange look, knowing precisely where the point of view camera is. "... Wait, what do you mean by that? What does that mean, actually?"
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	Shinmyoumaru hears the music. Peril indeed. "What? No!" Shinmyoumaru waves her arms. "Wrong music, wrong music!" But it's not like she submitted anything better (or anything at all), and there are people... cheering for her. With signs. Her arm-waving slowly comes to a stop. Sure, she doesn't like being called short (who does), and there's at least one of the signs she doesn't agree with, but she does appreciate being called awesome. Eventually she switches to planting her hands on her hips, half-stepping up out of her bowl. "And you'd better remember it," Shinmyoumaru calls. "I'm going to kick all of their breakfast butts!" She has picked up some unfortunate language from her time out in the multiverse... though it's still not as rude as Nonon's apron. But seeing it there basically told her it was okay. And they've just told her to COOK or DIE. "You won't catch me dying today!" Shinmyoumaru says, completely accurately, before turning to her cooking station. Right, she thinks. Right. Okay. Eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes. Eggs have got to come last so they don't get gross, and you cook them in the bacon fat, so... sausage and pancakes! She knows how to make sausage, so Shinmyoumaru rushes off to dig in the mundane ingredients. Pork, she needs pork, and casing, and a grinder... Next to that comes the pancake ingredients, flour and baking powder and milk the rest. She picks up the bacon while she's rummaging for pork, too, and she needs eggs for the pancakes anyway, but did she just get cheese and cream of tartar?? Shinmyoumaru floats back to her station on her bowl, which is now loaded up with the things she picked up. Setting them on the counter, she starts to set up the grinder so she can quick-grind some sausage. But there's one more thing... She looks left. She looks right. And then, surreptiously, from somewhere deep in her bowl, a bottle of powdered spices that she didn't precisely sneak in but she didn't precisely *not* sneak in, either. The fact that the cameras pick this up quite clearly isn't lost on her. She plops all of this down just as the earthquake starts up. "Aah!" Shinmyoumaru, of course, is floating, so she's in no danger of falling over, but her stuff all starts to vibrate around. She has to stop setting up the grinder to catch an egg that almost rolled off the counter and onto the floor, and then nearly has the entire grinder fall on her head when she pops back up. Shinmyoumaru snaps the casing into place because *that*, at least, is reliable, but with everything else bouncing around... can she even grind? She's sure going to try, but because Shinmyoumaru is small and the grinder is a bit stiff, and shaking, she mostly ends up getting shook around in her bowl. "H-h-hey!" Shinmyoumaru vibrates. "Get away from there!" She can't actually do what she wants to do (poke Kale's fingers with a needle) both because it is illegal and because she didn't bring her needle. She scoops the eggs into her bowl instead, where they nestle on the fabric and are very difficult to get without reaching past Shinmyoumaru's legs. Seija is really fond of that slightly toothy grin. "I'm as professional as I want to be," she says, as she accepts a headset with an "About time." Her instincts with microphones are fine, though. "Looks like everybody's all shaken up. The Princess - oh, she's gonna get it dropped on her head," Seija says, with relish. "And there goes the eggs! Hope he's not related to any of them!" Nonon, for the moment, gets left alone by Seija.
Kale Hearthward	"I mean, asking if Kale's related to any of the chicken eggs is like asking Nonon if she's related to the bacon she's cooking," comments Hazelthistle. "There's about the same amount of genetic relation." Then she pauses. "Well, actually, I misspoke. We *don't* know what's in the bacon. What we do know is Lobotomy Corporation has a high turnover rate." "I hope the judges are feeling adventurous today." Hazelthistle isn't really all that professional, she just acts like she is.
Bowser	Phanto swirls down around the battlefield, floating down next to Nonon. "Let's see, ah yes, Nonon going for the classic historical tools." The mask floats just over Nonon's shoulder so that one wickedly curved eye can glance down at the station, "You are chopping up the bacon? Hmm, interesting choice, scrambled eggs and chopped bacon, Nonon is going for something off the reservation. Let's see how that goes." The Phanto hovers up behind Kale. "Hmmm, let's see, we've got sausages, and what's that? Jimmy Dean brand, but with spices? The Breakfast Boy might be playing to the judges!" It floats up behind Shinmyoumaru next, "It looks like Shinmyoumaru is going to go as hard as she can, going for carefully made bespoke products. That's dangerous, home made is always better, but that's going to make her tight on time!" Two cameras hover right over the SECRET SPICE from Shinmyoumaru, making it obvious for the crowd. The earthquake hits, and Phanto jerks back as Kale rushes across the stage to steal eggs. "And we have our FIRST OFFENSIVE ASSAULT! HERE WE GO! Shinmyoumaru is putting the eggs IN her bowl where she sits, that might affect the taste, but there's no rules about Health violations!" As Bowser watches Kale go on the assault, he starts laughing, big bright GWA HA HA HA HAs as he rushes across the floor. He turns his head towards Petra, flashing a big toothy grin, "You're ruthless! I like it!" Of course, he doesn't know how MURDEROUS Petra is, and would be horrified by her actual ruthlessness. Bowser slams a button on his console. Why does Bowser have his own console? A blackhole appears above the arena, surrounded MOSTLY by land. Fortunately, the ovens reorient themselves. Unfortunately, there are areas that are open that lead to a blackhole.
Angela	Angela looks towards Cinder who is still right there and could definitely do the job, then back to Petra. "...Yes, I see that perhaps in my impulsive desire to end the discussion I neglected to consider that Cinder would be bringing the Eggpack anyway." Angela is of course trying to keep her voice relatively low, but she realizes her mistake once Petra inquires about what she meant. Angela blinks once, and then exhales in frustration at herself. This is what she was afraid of, that going inside there was going to expose her to things about Petra she shouldn't even know about and she wouldn't be able to forget and then it'd slip out like that. She takes a moment and then looks into Petra's eyes. "During our 'mind dive', there was mention that you would put this plush animal in the oven and it was endearing so when I saw your other plush..." She trails off before making a gesture with her hand like flipping a pancake in a pan. MEANWHILE Nonon is as unprepared for THE EARTHQUAKE STAGE as anybody else. She wobbles and tries to cover her pot but a fair chunk of eggs end up flying out before she can. Grumbling she rushes back to get another egg to compensate and by the time she's back at her station she's all grins again, albeit slightly more forced, using a spatula to dump what tumbled out of her pot into the floor. She has to work on the second set of egg a little more carefully because some of the egg is already scrambled before moving onto the sausage, grinding and stuffing as she works eventually using a sheep casing--she's making Weisswurt veal sausages so they're going to look a little different from what many might expect--they're white sausages instead of the usual brown coloring. She has a plan for the pancakes but that's going to come last, taking a moment to return to the ingredient station to get some more salt and garnishes as well as a big boxy of pancake batter and syrup. That earthquake threw off her groove, Nonon thinks, she's sgoing to have to go all out on the pancakes to make this work, she's decided.
Kale Hearthward	"Come on," says Kale, finding himself unable to steal the eggs without coming into contact with Shinmyoumaru. Eventually, since he can't get her eggs, he settles for grabbing something random from her table, chucking it into the nearest black hole, and going after Nonon - no, Nonon's already gotten her eggs done, he'll have to go back and find some more from the ingredient station after all. Dang it. ... Both of the others are making sausages from scratch, too? Dang it! Kale shouldn't have tried to cut corners. He'll have to make it up in the other ways. BACON: Kale also gets the bacon going, after he's retrieved a new set of eggs and gotten his sausages started in the oven. There's nothing too special here - aside from going for a sugary maple style of thick-cut bacon. PANCAKES: Kale pulls out a secret ingredient, turning his body to hide it from the other competitors as he starts mixing up his pancakes. > "During our 'mind dive', there was mention that you would put this plush animal in the oven and it was endearing so when I saw your other plush..." "Wait, what the heck?" calls Kale, glancing over. "And you're doing that with - *what*? Me?" "How the heck am I supposed to take that?!"
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	Shinmyoumaru is standing in her bowl now, so as long as she doesn't *step* on the eggs she's probably fine, but she has to remember not to move around too much so she doesn't. Crushed eggs would make a huge mess. She manages to get the grinder operating through the earthquake and, cranking, gets sausage meat into casing. It takes her a bit longer than she'd like to make four servings of sausage. She'd better get to cooking that immediately, though - and Shinmyoumaru does prepare for that, getting the pan warming up. You can't cook sausage (or bacon, or eggs) without a hot pan! She actually sets up two; the second is for the eggs, and is at a different preheating temperature. While she does that, she starts mixing up some pancake batter. Cracking some of her eggs, she mixes egg yolk and sugar and milk, then starts beating together (in a different bowl) whites and more sugar and... cream of tartar? It's slow, and her arm immediately gets tired doing it, so... Shinmyoumaru reaches into her bowl (riding, not mixing) and pulls out the Miracle Mallet. Is she going to 'cheat' by using magic powers to make a better breakfast? Yes, obviously. Shinmyoumaru taps the mallet against the whisk, and it immediately starts whisking all by itself, saving Shinmyoumaru's arm from making whatever she's making by hand. A moment's thought, and she picks up a sharp knife, tapping it too before squatting down to give it a set of quiet directions, laughing to herself. A moment later, and the knife flies about two inches above the floor over to Nonon's station while she's out getting salt, where it immediately tries to cut her sausage into smaller pieces. It's easy to stop - just grab the handle, it doesn't even resist - but if she doesn't notice it, the barely-aware tsukumogami will continue at its sausage-cutting task! Shinmyoumaru is laughing a lot less when gravity starts to do weird shit, though. "Hey!" she yelps, grabbing at her equipment. She really wishes she'd brought her needle now! Shinmyoumaru can do the same trick with her finger, though, and she uses little strings of shining energy to hold her stuff where she puts it. She's still flying herself. She's in no danger. She starts to whip up something else, but apparently can't find the butter she's *sure* she brought over. This is because Kale has tossed it in a black hole, but Shinmyoumaru is distracted trying to find it for at least a few moments. "Are you sure they're chicken eggs?" Seija has the kind of face that just looks smug no matter what she's doing, but right now she's grinning. She has a couple fangy teeth visible. "The Princess might be at a bit of a disadvantage. Given her size, she really ought to be cooking with quail eggs! Do you think she's going to sit on them?" "Speaking of, it looks like Miss The Cook Fucks You got her eggs pre-mixed, and Kale's doing *something* with his pancakes." Seija stands up, trying to get a better view, but can't make out the secret ingredient from any of the angles she has access to. "What's the secret? Nuts? Berries? What else do you even put in pancakes?" Another pause, and she calls back to Petra: "I knew it was a good plushie!" when she hears the secret.
Bowser	Cameras sneak around Kale, showing it for the televised Audiences, Lakitus floating around him. But, just for the televised audience, his secret is safe for now. "Kale Hearthward going for efficiency with his own personal touches! His bacon game seems to be weak, he's going for panfried, let's hope he can juggle frying his bacon AND making his pancakes." The Phanto moves over to Nonon, "Back to Nonon, our most aggressive competitor." There's a loud shout in the crowd, though Nonon is focused this time. "Nonon," Phanto asks, from just over her shoulder, "what are your plans if you win the HIGHLY coveted breakfast boy title?"
Petra Soroka	"Shinmyoumaru is putting the eggs IN her bowl where she sits, that might affect the taste, but there's no rules about Health violations!"     Petra considers this statement for some time. She's the one actually *eating* the meal, so her concern about health violations involves a personal stake. But is it really gross to have eggs sitting against your clothes like that? It's not like she's eating the shell, and it's not *that* unsanitary.     Thankfully, Petra makes her own rules, enforced in the only way she knows how. "If I get sick after this, I'll ask Lilian to divine which one of you it was, and then I'm going to beat the fuck out of you, take your trophy, and poison you." That ought to increase sanitation standards. "You're ruthless! I like it!"     Technically, Petra has killed some of the fewest people of any Elite here. She just does it in a way that really emphasizes her ruthlessness.     But she's having a good time right now! And it's funny to watch Kale panic and try to deal with the earthquake. "Haha, yeah. I sure am." Finally a thought comes to Petra's mind, and she quirks her head at Bowser, starting to smile at him a bit. "Hey, wait, aren't you Doctor Eggman's friend? I thought I recognized the name." "...Yes, I see that perhaps in my impulsive desire to end the discussion I neglected to consider that Cinder would be bringing the Eggpack anyway."     "Then it's settled! You judge the presentation and everything, and Cinder can be your-- your... like a seeing eye dog. Your tasting mouth dog. Your proxy tongue." Petra pats the table beside her, looking back excitedly at Cinder. She'll have to stand too, but Petra is mostly just excited to have Cinder properly within talking range. "During our 'mind dive', there was mention that you would put this plush animal in the oven and it was endearing so when I saw your other plush..."     And now Petra is distraught to have Cinder within talking range. She plants her head in her hands, leaning into the table, ears pink. "My--?! My childhood fucking memories were in there?! Oh my god. A-Angela. Th-that's-- that was like, over ten y-years ago. Please don't make that part of your perception of me. I'm fucking begging." "And you're doing that with - *what*? Me?"     "*No*!!" Petra's head shoots up to glare at Hearthward, practically shrieking. "No! I'm *not*! What the *fuck*, Hearthward! You're making some weird goddamn assumptions for having *literally* no reason to! Fucking--! Fucking, I-I was eight!!! Get out of my memories!!"     *Now* she's mad. *Now* she'll put that stupid fucking plushie in the oven because she's mad at it.     She also wants to put Hearthward ver. tall (small) in the oven too, but despite her searching, there isn't a button for that. Ending the earthquake, though, Petra selects a button aimed solely, directly at Kale, turning all of his cooking implements extremely sticky so they get stuck in his hands whenever he grabs them and he has to comedically pry them off.
Kale Hearthward	"Why the heck *do* you have a plushie of me, then!" yells Kale back as he tries to unpeel his spatula from his hand. Prying his sticky tools out of his hands over and over is going to take too much time. He'll just have to... to do everything one handed that he can, and have an all-purpose spatula in his other hand for everything else. ... Speaking of, the sausages are done! Time to get them out of the oven. Kale goes to grab an oven mitt, pull them out, and then... "... Oops." Kale's stuck trying to pull the oven mitt off awkwardly, wasting yet more time. He has to hurry it up!
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	"It won't be me making you sick!" Shinmyoumaru calls back to Petra. She carries eggs with her skirts all the time. Admittedly, normally one small egg. But still. Shinmyoumaru is now busy trying to fold one of the pancake ingredients into the other, and go fast, because she probably should have started the pancakes first - but they need to come out hot! Whatever she's doing is not the usual method, though. Eventually she manages what she's doing and scoops out several blobs of batter. She's using a particularly big pan so she can get more than one in there; compared to her own size it looks ridiculous when she picks it up, which requires both hands and a bit of effort. Setting up several blobs, she flicks a bit of plain water inside and then covers them with pan lids. Job done, she gets to frying sausage and bacon, which are the easy parts. She was going to cook the eggs in the fat, but time is tight and just getting tighter, so she gets *another* pan and - Right. No butter. She grabs cooking spray instead. Rather than scrambled or over easy, Shinmyoumaru is making cheese and spinach omelettes, which is possibly not Grand Slam-approved but does contain eggs - and she likes omelettes. Now Shinmyoumaru is babysitting literally every piece of the breakfast at once and is far too busy to aggress against anyone else. She's almost frantic with busy-ness - making sure nothing burns, flipping bacon and pushing sausage around, checking on the progress of her strange pancakes... Seija is, meanwhile, trying not to laugh at Petra going after Kale, because she loves it. "No shame," is her response. "Make them own trying to see it! Who's the real creep, anyway: someone who's eight, or someone peeking at the eight-year-old?" "I guess the Princess is trying to win straight." Seija sounds disappointed, mostly because she wanted to see havoc. Fortunately, there's some available: "Do you think that if Kale touches his food it's going to stick to him? Or do you think we could get some slapstick in here?" She raises her voice and calls, "Somebody bring in a ladder and turn around real fast! I bet you could take out two of them if they were in the ingredients cupboard." ... But nobody came... "Ah, sucks to be them," Seija says, after nobody starts the traditional clown routine. "Hey, do you think Nonon's going to notice her magic knife before or after it slices up her sausage?"
Angela	Angela fixes Kale with a glare. "I would focus on the competition, Breakfast Boy, instead of listening in to a private conversation, thank you." She pushes a button not really know what it does. What it DOES do is bring down a turret that fires peanuts at the competitors! Not just Kale, either, all of them! Including Kale! The worst part is, is that peanuts aren't a PART OF BREAKFAST! If they get into your breakfast, it'll offset the salt, it will do terrible things to those with peanut allergies! Nonon stops working for a moment, this time more ready to cover her pot with her own body. The peanuts slam into her back and sides with SIGNIFICANT (peanut) force! "This is a little more wild than I'm used to breakfast being...!" Nonon admits. Phanto approaches Nonon and asks what her plans on if she wins! "Well." Nonon says. "I'm probably going to take Shajo, pin him to a wall, and rail him until he passes out! That's what I wrote in for my evening plans ''and'' it's his day off tomorrow so he can be as sore as I want to make him!" She pauses. "And...of course... continue appreciating breakfast and seeking out all new forms of it to take!" Angela has definitely killed more people than Petra, though if you only count permanent deaths--well she still has killed a fair many. ''If I get sick after this,'' "GA HA HA HA, my meal is peanut free so your peanut allergy is safe!" Nonon shouts, misunderstanding what Petra is getting at as she works on PANCAKES. Her pancakes is more a matter of artistry than strictly fanciful cooking. It's a stack of pancakes shaped like PUNISHING BIRD with the top pancake having a strawberry arrangement for its 'chest', blueberries for its eyes, and a singular chocolate chip to account for its 'beak'. A significant drizzle of maplesyrup is poured between the layers so that the lower layers get to enjoy some of that syrup cookied in rather than the syrup only really managing to hit the top layer. ''Please don't make that part of your perception of me. I'm fucking begging.'' Angela is eager to please Petra right now since she feels guilty. "Of course, of course--it is my fault for mentioning it." Quick share an embarrassing childhood from your youth! "When I was young, I asked Netzach for advice for how to run the facility." There, that's sufficiently horrifying, Angela thinks. It's all fair now. ''Why the heck *do* you have a plushie of me, then!'' "Private conversation!!" Angela shouts back. "Ugh..."
Bowser	"Hey, wait, aren't you Doctor Eggman's friend?" Recognition makes Bowser puff up his chest and jerk a thumb towards himself, "Yea. That's me. You must be..." he snaps his fingers a few times, having the same amount of self awareness of other people's names, unless they are in his bowling/karting/golfing/basketball/baseball/fencing league. He squints at her a few times. "Yea! The Egghead girl, Petra! Gonna be a big time supervillain, right? You should come to grilling night!" Bowser GWA HA HA HAs again as Petra tortures specifically Kale, though whatever logic train is runs through in HIS mind is certainly different than hers. He just assumes Kale is Petra's 'rotten plumbers' or something. Bowser pulls out a tiny pair of glasses, looming down over the board to try and peer at every little button. "What's pork rever-This sucks." Bowser lifts both hands up to his mouth and bellows. "BRING IN THE FUZZIES RIGHT NOW!" Big puff balls start to drift lazily out of the sky as they are released from storage boxes. Out of fairness, Bowser is trying to seed them on the other side of the arena from Kale, so that everyone gets equally harassed. And maybe because Kale is one of Santa's Agents. The puff ball creatures float lazily, simply drifting on the air in their own carefree bobbing. They slide back and forth in the air. But the second they bump into anyone, they explode into a puff of air. And induce a vivid drunken/drugged like state. They also start to roll dangerously into the crowd. What people at home hear is 'bleeeeeeeeeeeep evening plans beleeeeeeeeep and of course continue appreciating breakfast and seeking out all new forms of it to take!' Phanto wavers, "Great! Now, let's see what we got going here, looks like we have a very artful stack of pancakes from you, Nonon!" Phanto quickly moves over to Shinmyoumaru, "Looks like Shinmyoumaru is using her magic to help her! That mallet goes a long way, though she is still using her hands, let's hope she washed up before she plates, but she's making a whole breakfast out of one thing." "Let's move back to Kale, his master touches could be the thing to save all the trouble he's having, but one of the judges is getting mad! Let's see if that counts against him." "Shinmyoumaru, Kale, what are YOU going to do if you win the coveted Breakfast Boy title?" Phanto asks. Bowser has never killed anyone. Or not on purpose. He is scratching his head, seemingly confused by what Nonon is saying.
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	Shinmyoumaru is making a whole set of breakfast, just... all at once. Her attention is split every which way and she's barely paying attention to anything that's not on her stovetop. This means she's pretty hard to disrupt subtly - she's not ever turning away, she has everything she needs in her hands - but on the other hand she can definitely be distracted by someone addressing her or doing something not-subtle. "Eeeh?" Shinmyoumaru should have expected that question but honestly, she was too focused on - "Hold on a moment!" Shinmyoumaru unlids her pancakes, which look aggressively fluffy. Turning them over requires intensity and focus, so she does that *before* she responds to the announcer's question, putting the lid back on afterwards. "I didn't actually know what it meant when I challenged Kale, I just wanted to challenge him because nobody else was... and then Nonon did it at the same time!" Shinmyoumaru starts to remove her bacon, which looks nicely crispy to her. "So I'm going to become a master breakfaster! And if somebody comes to challenge me after..." She looks up. "I'm waiting~" Shinmyoumaru points at her eyes with two fingers, then in the vague direction of a camera. It's particularly vague because one of the fuzzies popped against the lower edge of her bowl while she was talking and she didn't notice. Shinmyoumaru turns back to her preparations afterwards, checking on the sausage, but now everything feels kind of... "Hee hee, I'm floating," she says. "Floating while I'm floating in my bowl!" It takes her two tries to actually get a sausage out with tongs because she misses the first time. But she's getting there! The omelette is about done, the pancakes are pancaking... she just has to focus so she doesn't drop anything... Meanwhile, Seija has burst out laughing at Nonon and is trying to signal approval in a way that won't get caught by the censors. Unfortunately she's managed to get bleeped out twice and fuzzed out once when she makes a non-family-friendly hand gesture.
Kale Hearthward	> "Private conversation!!" Angela shouts back. "Ugh..." "Then stop making the private conversation so loud!" calls back Kale, who in the passion of breaking fasts has forgotten that he has better hearing than most people. > "Shinmyoumaru, Kale, what are YOU going to do if you win the coveted Breakfast Boy title?" "Probably nothing? I mean, I already *have* it. This is a title defense match," says Kale as he finishes his pancakes, and moves onto the last item, his eggs- FUZZY ... which he drops straight onto the pans, shells and all. "Oh, that looks beautiful," says Kale, dreamily, as he watches the egg-and-shell mess cook.
Petra Soroka	"I guess the Princess is trying to win straight."     "Yeah, right?" Petra scoffs in agreement with Seiji, apparently having either forgiven or forgotten that she's the reason Petra's forced to stand this whole time. Maybe she just doesn't mind. "I was hoping there'd be more cheating. Like, I'm going to award Kale a point for that, even though he was embarrassing about it."     Petra isn't attentive enough to have noticed Shinmyoumaru's knife. "What magic knife?" "This is a little more wild than I'm used to breakfast being...!"     "Oh, that's a really good idea. That's just shooting them. I saw reality TV shows that'd do this sort of stuff all the time." A pause. "I *don't* have a peanut allergy, I'm fine." "I'm probably going to take Shajo, pin him to a wall, and rail him until he passes out! That's what I wrote in for my evening plans ''and'' it's his day off tomorrow so he can be as sore as I want to make him!"     Petra murmurs out loud, as if she'd forgotten this and was just being reminded. "Oh, right. She's super gross. That's why she's not as funny or cool as she always seems to be." Whether she means for this to be spoken out loud, much less while in the judges' booth, is unclear. It's uncharacteristically mean, even for Petra, but that's what you get for being straight. "When I was young, I asked Netzach for advice for how to run the facility."     The bizarre tangent leaves Petra confused at first, but then when she figures out Angela intent-- she's hard to read sometimes, but they've spent so much time together, and so much of that time has been invested into caring for her that Petra's become pretty good at it-- she snorts and giggles a bit, smiling despite herself. "You're a sweetheart, Ange." "You should come to grilling night!"     Petra makes a bit of a face at Bowser. "Oh, but that's gotta just be old man talk, right? I'm not really about, like, networking.")] "Floating while I'm floating in my bowl!"     The 'Fuzzies' immediately inspire dread in Petra, and when they start touching Shinmyoumaru and Kale, she looks practically horrified. "What the fuck? Those things are, like, drugs? That's, like, scary, dude, that's way more harsh than any of the other things. Jesus." Petra protects herself from the threat of free hallucinogens by pulling out a handgun and shooting the Fuzzies that get close to her, even though this is also the same direction that the kitchen is in.
Bowser	Bowser rubs his chin, not liking people to not be included, "How good are you with kids, Egghead, you could watch over Bowser Jr. while he does his homework." Bowser is not worried about the bullets, somehow.
Kale Hearthward	PEANUTS "Ow - hey!" Kale throws up a wind shield to block the assault of peanuts, and then carefully checks over his assembled meals to make sure none of them have peanut pieces in them. ... It's fine that his eggs have bits of eggshell mixed in, because - that's all eggs. Right? It... makes sense? Kale stares at the eggs. No, that doesn't make sense. ... Oh, shit, his eggs are ruined. Maybe if he - The gunshot startles him. "Ack!" And by the time he's done glaring at Petra, he really is out of time. The timer buzzes. Thirty minutes are up. It's time to present the dishes to the judges. ... Getting the dishes up to the judges involves carrying three trays up the dias stairs. There is no ramp or serving cart or anything like that to make it easier. How's your sense of balance?
Petra Soroka	"Oh, ah? I-I-- I'm pretty good with kids." Petra is surprised for some reason that a Bowser Junior exists. Isn't he always chasing after that Princess that Sarracenia is always being weirdly jealous of? What's going on there? Petra decides to discard the thought and opt into an unpaid babysitting role for the child of a supervillain instead.     "I guess that'd be nice. If I'm free the day of the grill meetup you guys do, sure. It'll make Doctor Eggman happy too, I totally know that." Petra pats the Eggpack, having learned that Angela appreciates it. "And you could come too! We'll make it a-- a..." Is 'family' appropriate? Angela has said that she thinks of Petra as a sister before, but she also specified 'platonic sister', which fills Petra with so much dread that she can't bear to bring up the topic after already having been emotionally battered today. "... a group thing!"
Angela	''I don't have a peanut allergy, I'm fine.'' "Oh! Then I guess I had nothing to worry about--" Nonon manages. ''She's super gross.'' "I for one," Angela says. "Am glad that she is feeling comfortable enough in her heterosexuality to be open about it. It's a very progressive mindset." She nods a few times, solemnly. "She's not even in a polycule. So brave." Yes she still hasn't learned of Lilian's trickery. Angela IS hard to read, though not really for Petra anymore. She is watching Petra but like not trying to make it obvious she's watching Petra while she's gauging if the shared anecdote about an embarrassing incident at youth has accompmlished its purpose in being shared as such. Angela feels a weight leave her chest when Petra's expression shifts from confused to giggling. She smiles when Petra calls her a sweetheart. Embarrassing anecdote has served its purpose. Balance has been restored. Friendship secured. Her eyes slant away as she clasps her Eggpack's hands together and says, "I've--definitely learned my lesson since... I'm glad you came to--" She is looking back to Petra when she is about to say the word 'today' and sees that Petra has a gun, which cuts her off. "..." Angela covers her ears in real life. The Eggpack mimics the gesture as Petra starts firing, her expression having returned to its usual deadpan in an instant. Nonon sees a knife floating in midair and cutting at her sausages! She lunges for it and it stopts its work and she's forced to cut the rest of the suasages to make it look like she planned to have them sliced the whole time. She looks around to see who is responsible for the floating knife but she's not smart enough to figure out it's Sukuna so she just throws it into one of the Fuzzies instead--which bobs out of the way so the knife slams into a wall instead, deep in enough to reach the hilt. The fuzzies hit her shortly after whereupon-- Petra fires the gun! Right as Nonon stumbles in front of a fuzzie, getting clipped in the arm and she spins around and falls face first into the floor. "ghhk.... Should've expected...this wouldn't be no vacation..." She puses herself up, one arm limp. The buzzer went off and that means that she has to take the plate in as is. Nonon's dish includes SCRAMBLED EGGS, finely minced. It isn't too drippy but there is more than Nonon intended to put in due to the earthquake causing her to have to ajdust on the fly. A bit of cheese has been subtly mixed into the scrambled eggs to lend it some extra flavor. The bacon has been chopped up into tiny bits and has its own special cup along with a spoon so that the taster may add bacon flavoring to their heart's content and at a consistency that they can choose--Nonon chose this rather than long strips of bacon. The bacon in question is less crunchy than normal bacon as well since it's not done up american style but it still has that salty bacon taste to it. The white sausages are sliced up like how you might put them in a soup, arranged around the sides of the plate to encircle the eggs and the pancakes which, as previously mentioned, has multilayered syrup and a Punsihing Bird design with some fruit added on for a more balanced taste. A small pitcher of syrup is included for anyone who would want to add more to it but a fair amount is already applied. She places a plate before each of the judges, hesitating a bit before Angela because of the obvious questions before returning to her podium. She didn't stumble because she's used to walking around on much less reliable ground than this while bleeding out but she has left a small trail of blood the whole trip towards and back. Fortunately it didn't get on the plate. She sways unsteadily at her podium.
Angela	"A group thing? That sounds fun." Angela says. "I would enjoy making Doctor Eggman happy and the Agents speak fondly of King Bowser." Mostly because he keeps informing them about sports.
Kale Hearthward	Plating time. Plates, silverware, napkins, and finally- Kale pulls a thermos and three coffee mugs out of the duffel bag, quickly pours three cups of coffee, gathers up his three serving trays, and braves the field of fuzzies, peanut turrets, black holes, and Petra to approach the dias, holding onto all of them as carefully as he can. As he's going up the stairs, it looks for a moment like he's about to drop one of the trays, but manages to correct himself just in time, and finishes the journey. "Ladies and gentlemen of the judging panel... breakfast is served." He places the trays in front of each on the table - first Angela, then Petra, then finally Bowser. KALE'S ENTRY: DRINK: Kale's provided mugs of hot coffee on each tray, made from his personal blend. It's a strong dark roast, but tempered carefully with a pinch of salt to offset the acidity. Cream and sugar are not provided. SAUSAGE: These are store bought sausages, though they are seasoned well and browned to an appealing shade. Bowser's has a bit of an extra kick to his. BACON: The bacon kale's prepared is also fairly mundane, but he's opted to go for a heavy maple sugar glaze - emphasizing the 'sugar' part. If these had any more on them, they'd be dessert instead of breakfast, really! EGGS: Sunny side up. These are the eggs you'd see on TV in a restaurant commercial. They look perfect. They smell perfect. They perfectly come apart and leak delicious yellow egg goo when they're cut into. And the taste... ... the taste is rather ruined by there being tiny bits of eggshell in each one. PANCAKES: Kale's provided a stack of pancakes that look every bit as mundane as the rest of his entries... until someone takes a taste. Hazelnuts. Finely chopped hazelnuts, mixed into each one. It's unexpected, but... it provides a nutty taste that complements the sweet pancake mix very well - and it turns out to pair excellently with the coffee.
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	A peanut bounces off Shinmyoumaru's head, then another. She's bemused enough that she barely notices. Then another, which goes down the back of her collar and is going to be a problem Soon. The gunshots sure get her attention, though, even though none of them hit her. One of them *does* hit a jar on the counter near her, which bursts, sending coffee beans everywhere. Some land on the plates she was going to use, and she has to dump them out before plating up. As a result of being more than slightly wobbly - Shinmyoumaru is small, and extremely lightweight, so even though she didn't get a direct touch by a Fuzzy she's still pretty drift-y - it takes Shinmyoumaru longer than it should to plate. But she manages it, mostly. But only mostly. One of the plates does not have sausage on it because she missed while trying to put it on the plate and it rolled onto the floor, and one of the others has its omelette broken because she basically had to toss it on there, revealing cheese and spinach inside. All of them look a little slapdash on the plating side. But her pancakes turned out great, in her opinion - extremely fluffy, souffle-like, in the best tradition of Japanese fluffy pancakes, with maple syrup (she had been going to make a different maple sauce, but Kale stole her butter, and probably saved her in the process because of the time limit). The downside with those is that when they start to cool down they deflate... ...and she has to get them up to the judges without dropping anything. No pressure! Given she is riding her bowl, Shinmyoumaru is not worried at all about tripping, because she's floating. She has a different problem; she is simply too small to carry all three plates at once without squashing a souffle-pancake or tipping something by carrying it at a bad angle. Shinmyoumaru considers this for about twenty seconds before she pulls out her Mallet again. She reaches for another plate, can't find one, grabs an unused wooden cutting board instead - "Be big!" NOW she has a platter. She loads the three plates on it, and with a 'hup!' hefts the entire thing overhead. But when she made the cutting board big, she also made it thicker, and now it has a lot more mass. Her bowl sways a little when she moves, boat-like, and her platter weaves ominously whenever she does, but it looks like she's going to manage it... probably...
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	The peanut that slipped down her collar is starting to get really obnoxious. The platter wobbles, weaves, tilts juuust a bit too far so that one of the sausages threatens to get into another plate, but doesn't quite - She's struggling a bit by the time she gets to the judges' table. "Hi!" she says, her arms objecting vigorously to 'heavy' lifting. "I brought - um, let me just put this down - " Shinmyoumaru half-lowers, half-drops the heavy, enlarged wood platter down on the judging table with a thump. One of her souffles un-souffles slightly (more than it already had from cooling down). But she lets out a sigh of relief. She points at each item in turn. "I brought a cheese and spinach omelette, crispy bacon, spicy sausage, and a fluffy souffle pancake! With maple syrup." And no butter, because she never did find it. The cheese and spinach omelette is nothing fancy, but it is completely cooked, at least. One of them (by chance, Bowser's) is broken open, as if put on the plate far too quickly, and they have probably too much cheese and not enough spinach for most tastes - Shinmyoumaru likes cheese. The bacon is bacon. Shinmyoumaru neither tried nor succeeded at doing anything unusually interesting with it. It's crunchy. The sausage is coarsely ground, and so chunkily meaty. It's had a mix of herbs and spices added to it - sage, fennel, thyme, nutmeg - that makes it feel pretty breakfasty, though there's a kick of *something* in it to add a bit of bite and she's gone heavy on the pepper. One plate is missing sausage (by chance, Petra's). The pancakes are the star. She's gone for Japanese souffle-style pancakes; while they're hot, they're extremely puffy, like cutting into a cloud. They're also very sweet, especially with the maple syrup rather than the butter sauce Shinmyoumaru had intended. Unfortunately they tend to deflate as they cool down, so if they're left for last, they look a little sadder... still taste the same, though! Shinmyoumaru looks intensely anxious. "I don't normally cook this kind of breakfast..." She had to learn three of the four dishes just for this. Whatever happened to pickled vegetables and fish?
Bowser	As the buzzer goes off, Phanto slowly lowers from the arena, "Let's see... Nonon is bleeding out, but we have a very fine set of rescued eggs, chopped bacon as a topping rather than as a side, very interesting, and artful pancakes, veal sausages, and after taking a WOUND."" "It seems Kale has expanded the menu to include coffee, candied bacon, sausages with extra seasoning, that could be excellent. And we reveal his secret ingredient. Willing to go above and beyond!" "Oh, Shinmyoumaru has an excellent fluffy pancake, thick and almost like cake, let's see if it'll make up for her other dishes! Now, TO THE JUDGES, remember, the loser WILL be thrown into a lava pit." Ninji up at the booth at waving aggressively. Bowser considers each plate seriously. He eyes Nonon's plate first, hmmming. "That's a bird made out of pancakes?! That's great!" He pushes his fork into the center of the mass of pancakes, pushing them down his mouth with no effort at all, chewing them. He nods thoughtfully, then peers into the cup. He dumps the cup of bacon onto the eggs, then picks up the plate to slide the entire mass into his mouth as well. A thoughtful chew. A deep rumbling hmm as he eats. Bowser tries to put on some air of professionality, leaning his elbow on the table to look straight at Nonon. The music gets deep and serious as on any Master Chef. "Nononon. Your bacon is awful. I wanna throw you through a wall for your bacon. This is nerd bacon. Bacon should be crispy and salty! BUT, it was fancy to have it in a cup, but not Cheesecake Factory fancy. Just a little fancy. And you jumped in front of a bullet! That's the best presentation. And best of all." He pounds his fists on the table, making the plates bounce, "You know how to cook like a villain! Have fun! Be ruthless!" Next comes Shinmyoumaru. Pancakes first. He takes an entire one, biting into it like a big donut. Another hmm, "Not bad. They don't LOOK like I remember, and that's half the fun!" Next, the eggs, again, slide into his mouth, frowning. Bowser starts to gag immediately, putting the plate down, "Spinach?! Who puts spinach in eggs, what are you, some hippy?!" Bowser slams the table again with a hand, pointing at Shinmyoumaru, "You ever make me eat a piece of Spinach again and I'll drop a building on you!" After that snarl, he grabs a sausage, chomping into it. He nods thoughtfully, "Good and meaty. I like this texture." He points the rest of the sausage at Shinmyoumaru. "Your presentation is terrible. You look like your arms are made of noodles dropping everything! Bacon's good though. Not very supervillainy, but you did have fun and demanded people challenge you! GWA HA HA HA! You ain't bad!" Finally, Kale's. Bowser lifts the coffee cup to his mouth, drinking it in one slosh. "Not bad." Subtle flavors are not Bowser's strong suit. Again, pancakes, chomping down on them. He hrmms... hazelnuts are sort of soft, and it takes Bowser a few times to really chew on them to think about it. He finally shrugs, "Not bad." At the eggs, again, he lifts them, "Now THIS is the right amount of eggs!" He dumps a loud of sunny side up eggs in, crunching right through any shells. Than meat. He eyes a piece of bacon, biting into it. He eats thoughtfully, also considering the flavors. He finally nods, "Perfect! This is great bacon!" He pounds the table, then shovels in the sausage.
Bowser	"ALRIGHT!" He leans both arms on the table, face contorting as he puts his two neurogoblins to hard work thinking. "Kale is the only one didn't fall half on his face getting up here, he gets presentation, I guess." "Taste, that's good sausage, really good bacon, hmm..." "Visual appeal, that's definitely Nonon. That's the best plate of breakfast I've ever seen, with the bird!!" "Who is the best Breakfast Boy..." He slams his fist on the table. "Shinmyoumaru. Not only did she CHEAT, but she cheated while challenging everyone and having fun! That's how a villain does it!" He points at Nonon, "You should have cheated!" He points at Kale, "You are so boring when you aren't getting hurt!" He blechs, with the sound and the tongue out. "Nonon, 8, Shinmyoumaru, 7, Kale, 5."
Angela	Angela works on her judging while Nonon woozily stands there waiting to hear what the results are. She hears someone on her comms asking if she needs medical existence and raises up a thumbsup with her functional arm while grinning. Angela intently goes through each person's work. She frowns at meals that are obviously fucked up and she uses her utensils to cut into the pancakes and eggs and get feel for its consistency by testing the resistance but, obviously, puts nothing in her mouth. before she works on her scorecard, starting with Nonon CHALLENGER NONON TASTE: 1 VISUAL APPEAL: 8 PRESENTATION: 8 INEFFABLE BREAKFAST BOY QUALITIES: 8 Some effort has been made in the presentation and it does not look hideous. I could imagine eating this meal. It reminds me of an eternal circle, an ouroboros sausage. Punishing Bird is consistently chosen as the cutest Abnormality in Agent polls so I must acquiesces to the masses here lest they complain about my tastes in cuteness, which I refuse to allow challenged on the basis of this event. I reflect on how while this is a quaint way to spend my time and I am happy for any moment with my dear friend, Nonon made the challenge without consulting the scheduling department and caused no end of headaches for me and the other Sephirah, nor do I want to be accused of nepotism but she received a bullet injury which I assume is something a breakfast boy would do. OVERALL SCORE: 5. CHALLENGER SUKUNA TASTE: 1 VISUAL APPEAL: 10 PRESENTATION: 7 INEFFABLE BREAKFAST BOY QUALITIES: 7 Sukuna did not engage in anything fancy as far as presentation, but breakfast I'm told is about eating. Nvertheless, in spite of a fancy presentation the meal looks like something I could eat and cutting into the pancakes is smooth and adds to their visual appeal. Spinach is a healthy food item. Sukuna seems anxious about her cooking and I feel a breakfast boy should be confident in their breakfast making capabilities, it is confidence she need not feel anxious about. Her meal is competently done and is not arrogant. It speaks to a professional standard I can appreciate--a beautiful dish is fine and dandy but breakfast is a daily meal and reliability is more important than grandeur. I am reminded of a haiku. Benji made breakfast It was toast and some bacon I can't eat it. Sad. OVERALL SCORE: 6
Angela	BREAKFAST BOY KALE TASTE: 0 VISUAL APPEAL: 7 PRESENTATION: 10 INEFFABLE BREAKFAST BOY QUALITIES: 6 Kale logically must have breakfast boy qualities because he is the current breakfast boy, but a breakfast boy who forgets about the day of the championship probably should lose some points for that. I appreciate he remembered to have a drink and it looks drinkable. The same cnanot be said for the eggs or, frankly, the idea of having hazards during breakfast. Nobody wants to deal with hazards during breakfast, I imagine, because they want to relax, wake up, and eat--not be bombarded by peanuts and lava. Best looking sausages and the bacon seems edible. He listened to a private conversation between Petra and I and responded loudly over television but I believe in professional standards so I am only docking points for that in my mind. Revenge will be mine one day, but not during breakfast. OVERALL SCORE: 5 "I could've eaten some of the food you know." Cinder says. "I am the judge so I am judging the way I would." Angela says stubbornly, sliding her plates over to CInder well after the fact (but she has, of course, slipped Sukuna's sausage towards Petra beforehand because she thinks this will improve Petra's day).
Petra Soroka	>Nonon gets shot     Petra clicks her tongue, looking a little guilty. She probably could've protected herself from the Fuzzies even better just by using the morphmetal, but she's been using it enough that it puts her in a bit of a Mood, and today was an off day for the Silver. Once Nonon gets down to the judging area, Petra hops out of the booth and gestures for Nonon to put her platter down, pulling her first aid kit out of her mirror.     "God. Oops. I know you're better than that, Nonon, even without EGO. You were really focused on cooking, huh." Disinfectant, cleaning the area-- it's just a graze, it's not a big deal-- and wrapping it up with gauze. "Falling down's more melodramatic than usual for you, though. I didn't get that much stronger than you that quickly, did I? We're still supposed to have a rematch eventually." >Nonon's dish     It's entirely antithetical to the challenge, but while Petra does have a healthy morning routine that includes breakfast, it's pretty much *always* a light meal. A salad, fruit, granola, along those lines. So she doesn't actually have a wealth of experience with the typical oily and calorically dense eggs and bacon classic.     "Oh, the Punishing Bird is cute..." Decorated pancakes are slightly a novelty to her, but not something she's totally unfamiliar with. She sits back down and starts poking at the food, assuming she's supposed to sample each part of the dish, but definitely not actually *eat* all of it. How much do you think she can eat??     "The-- the sausages are really interesting. I think that's fun, that they're not just normal sausages. The fruit on the pancakes is a good touch, but there's already so much syrup that I feel like it's way too sweet. With the fruit you really could've been super light on syrup and been fine. The eggs are-- they're eggs. I guess they're fine. They're, like, normal. This is what eggs tastes like."     She really ate barely a fraction of her plate before she's decided that's enough. This is the part where Petra is finally self-conscious of the cameras, feeling extremely awkward as all of her eating habits become a televised focus. It makes her lose her appetite, kind of, as if there's someone with a calorie tracker looming over her shoulder and writing notes of everything she eats. >Kale's dish     The coffee completes the aesthetic display, which Petra appreciates somewhat. Kale's cape cheers her up more than the display of food, though, as it flutters when he marches up the stairs. Does Petra *like* the coffee? No. She rarely drinks it at all, and when she does, it's never black. She's just not that type of girl. She's the type to have a notepad to make sure she remembers Lilian's favorite type of coffee instead.     "The bacon's good. It's nice to, like, uh, contrast it with the sausage by alternating them." She's not savvy enough to pick out the differences in quality between store bought and handmade sausages, to Kale's benefit. "It's sort of pretty overall. It feels like something I'd get at a restaurant. But--"     Petra makes a face and picks out a piece of eggshell from her tongue with a napkin, glaring at Kale. "But what the fuck, dude? Even I can cook better than *that* kind of fuckup." Not like she's ever cooked during an earthquake. "That basically disqualifies the eggs completely. You can't eat them. And those are, like, the iconic thing." >Shinmyoumaru's dish     "Oh my gosh, they're *fluffy*!" That's the kind of presentation that scores points with Petra, apparently. She's just delighted by the pancakes enough to ignore the rest of the sloppy plating. "That's cute. I love that."
Petra Soroka	"And they're good, too, and... the bacon's good, and the omelette's good... and the sausage is better than the others. Thanks, uh, by the way, Ange." She only eats a slice or two of the sausage. Petra's running out of interesting things to say. She's not a professional cooking show judge, she's not a professional breakfast eater, and she's also getting stressed out about the cameras. "I liked that it was an omelette instead of just eggs. I guess Kale's was more, like, breakfast-looking, though...."     Petra takes a deep breath and starts pacing around the interior of the VIP box. She was never seated, anyways, so it's easy to get away from the judges' table without really thinking about it, and she feels sweatily restless now. "So, points! Points. I'm kind of just as, uh, interested in how you acted during the competition itself, as the result, so..." She tries to recover some of her earlier breakfast judge enthusiasm, "That's where you find the true measure of the breakfast champion. Breakfast boy."     "Uh... Kale was funny during the timer. He seems like he came in here scheming, which is good, because he's sort of a scumshit heel and he got owned for it by all the hazards. So I liked that. But he also made me mad, so I didn't like that part. His food was good, and picturesque, which makes him sort of an archetypal Breakfast Boy, but then below the surface it was kind of shitty. Six out of ten. Oh, wait, I like the fit. Seven out of ten."     "Nonon... you're super, uh, aggressive. I mean, obviously, you actually *are* passionate about this whole thing, and that-- that genuinely does make me happy to see. You're the only one who cared about this before the challenge happened. Your food was... good?" Petra is struggling to remember it at this point. "Oh, wait, the Punishing Bird. That was really cute, and it was biased towards two of the judges. And I liked the white sausages. So that's eight out of ten."     "Um, the last one, Shin-- Shinmyoumaru. I think your food was the best? But you're not even, like-- like, American." Neither are the other two. "So that's kind of extra impressive. And I didn't notice the knife until late, which means it was pretty good cheating, and this isn't the kind of competition where I'd get mad about that. Like, if this was-- if this was another sort of 'service' competition, I'd totally dock points for sabotage, because there's personal standards that need to be met there, but the Breakfast Boy is just about crushing the competition. Eight out of ten, again. Er... wait, what does that mean if I scored them both eight out of ten...?"
Petra Soroka	Petra pauses, hoping for an answer to come from the other two judges, but between Angela and Bowser, Shinmyoumaru and Nonon each have a vote, forcing Petra to pick between the two. She rubs her hand on her face, mumbling out loud. "Ah... uh, both of them did cute things with their pancakes. Shinmyoumaru's were tastier. But I kind of shot Nonon, and I'd feel bad if I shot her and then also didn't let her win on top of that. Fuck. I'm tired. I'm getting a headache. Nonon, you win, because you care way more about it and that's the most important trait for a Breakfast Boy to have."     A minute after she makes her declaration, Petra looks weirdly put out, and pouts. "Is that really all? Are competitions normally that... normal? I feel like there wasn't any good drama, this time-- not that I'd, you know, want the same thing as last time. But at least some kind of narrative advancement would've been nice." Someone got shot, and Petra still thinks this was kind of boring and mundane. How her standards have shifted.
Kale Hearthward	Kale looks a little crestfallen as the scores are read out. (And also a little worried as Angela vows revenge.) After a moment of basic arithmetic, the screens in the arena light up with the score totals... ------ KALE NONON SHINMYOUMARU BOWSER: 5    8     7 ANGELA: 5    5     6 PETRA : 7    8.1   8 TOTAL : 17   21.1  21 "... I see." There's a moment of quiet and stillness on the part of the hawk, and then Kale turns and heads over. He extends a hand to Nonon. "Congratulations, Breakfast Boy Nonon." "That was a fast well broken, indeed."
Bowser	"CONGRATULATIONS to the new Breakfast Boy!" Phanto swirls around the stage, and the uniform slowly descends, triumphant music playing over the sound system. The audience explodes into cheers, with a mix of boos all around, but everyone loves a winner. "And! As an added bonus, you will be given the chance to cook at... SCENIC BOWSER CASTLE!" A flash on the screen of Bowser's Castle, surrounded by lava pits and airships. "That's right, we will pay for a three day vacation at scenic Koopa Kingdom where you can enjoy Go Karting, Golf, and Plumber attacks! And watch Kale Hearthward be thrown into lava! Shinmyoumaru receives a Nintendo Switch pre-loaded with Animal Village! Remember folks. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
Shinmyoumaru Sukuna	Shinmyoumaru puffs up, proud at the responses she's getting. And it *is* impressive, she feels, because half this stuff she had to learn just for this (which is also why it's reliable... she's practiced a lot lately and didn't have to improvise with a sudden swerve in menu). AND they liked her asking the knife to help out a little. But then she loses. By one tenth of a point. Shinmyoumaru lets all that out with a puff of air. But it's not like she *lost*. She almost won! Kale's the one that lost. She's going to hold onto that for a while. "Congratulations!" she says to Nonon, but follows that up with: "But I'm going to challenge you again sometime. Just, you know, not now. Because you already won!" Shinmyoumaru never forgets a loss, and while she's not enthused about it she's a lot happier about losing to Nonon, a fellow challenger, than she would have been to Kale, the defending champion. "...um, maybe you should get a bandage now." She stands up out of her bowl and gives a very fancy curtsey to the judges. "Oh, can I watch Kale get thrown into lava?" she asks, more conversationally. "Yes, let's all watch Kale get thrown into lava," Seija adds, with that same very punchable grin. "It's the real attraction, isn't it?"
Angela	"Anytime," Angela says to Petra while Cinder munches down the free breakfast. Nonon, who absolutely didn't MEAN to get shot by Petra, opens her mouth to argue that the bullet wound isn't breakfast related but seems to think better of it. Don't argue when things are going your way, Shajo has told her many a time in the past. She obediently makes her way to Petra so she can treat the wound. "Ahah...shit, am I falling behind...?" Nonon says, a little woozily. "Maybe I was just gettin' too used to wearing EGO armor, Ga Hah..." She squints a little and pushes the pain out of her head for a moment. "We're gonna have a rematch...?" Her eyes sparkle hopefully. She was getting worried that Petra wasn't as invested in the rivalry as she was! This makes her feel a lot better. "I ''was'' real focused on the breakfast." She admits. She seems pleased that folks like the pancakes at least, swallows nervously at Angela's accusing of fucking up the scheduling by accepting this challenge, and she looks thoughtful at the idea that she should have cheated. In truth, she didn't have the time--finding the knife cutting into her food just a moment too late, and forced to fix her meal before she could retaliate. She feels a little guilty for not cheating. That's the pirate way, isn't it? It seems like she's going to win basically BECAUSE she got shot. Nonon looks and sees the scores and-- "HELL YEAH! I'M THE BREAKFAST BOY!" Nonon shouts. And then she shuots. "ow ow ow ow ow" because she dramatically threw up her arms in the process. With her UNINJURED hand she clasps Kale's own tightly and looks into his eyes. "You fought well, Kale...! I may be the champion now, but you will always be the First Breakfast Boy... Never give up the path of breakfast...!" She doesn't really blame him for the eggs going bad, you don't usually do breakfast during earthquakes--the same thing would have happened to her if she wasn't heavily aggressive on the outset. "Oh sweet, a vacation?" Nonon says. Her eyes slant towards ANgela. Who is glaring daggers at her. "Uh... if it fits with work...aHahah..." She then turns to SHinmyoumaru, offering her hand to her. "Wish we could both be Breakfast Boys," She says sincerely. "Challenge me any time, my friend...!" She has decided she's friends with Sukuna now. "It could have easily been you, so hold your head up with pride, Ga Ha HA!" ''Oh, can I watch Kale get thrown into lava?'' "Wellp, it's the rules." Nonon says. "See you, uh, later Kale!"
Kale Hearthward	And thus ends the Breakfast Boy challenge - for now. "Mark my words, though, Nonon..." says Kale. "Today, you are the Breakfast Boy. Tomorrow - who knows what may come. Keep your guard up, and stay on the true path of breakfast, for challengers may come at you at any time." "And while it'd be gauche of me to challenge you back right away..." "... Know I am not so easily defeated." He points at her. "Next year. I'll have new recipes in hand and a new fire burning in my chest. Be ready." ... And then he gets carried off and thrown into lava. The end.