347/WMAT Exhibition Satan vs. Lute

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WMAT Exhibition Satan vs. Lute
Date of Scene: 04 August 2014
Location: Papaya Island - Stadium
Synopsis: It's another WMAT exhibition match! This time, it's Lute versus Mister Satan! OR IS IT?!
Thanks to: Satsuki Kiryuin for stellar commentary, Tenshi Hinanai for excellent sportsmanship, Lute for his own twisted humor
Cast of Characters: 188, Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped), 430, 477, 532

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:
    World Tournament Stadium has seen hundreds of battles. It has seen blood, guts, and glory. It has been destroyed, rebuilt, and rebuilt again. Champions have been made here, and dreams achieved. For one man, there is no place more sacred, valuable, or beloved in all the world.

    That man is Mister Satan.

    He stands in the middle of the stadium now, his hands thrust up to display doubled victory signs, his signature gesture. His white cape billows behind him, caught in the wind generated by the endless chant of his name. The stadium's lights blind him, but the dazzling display is outshone by his broad and confident smile, as well as the twinkle in his baby blue eyes. He turns in a slow circle, facing each segment of the stands in turn, shouting and cheering along with those thousands of adoring fans.

    As he struts around the arena, his theme song blasts from all speakers, performed live by a marching band stationed on the sidelines (http://youtu.be/QVgfW6ClFa0). The song repeats several times, giving the Champ time to pose, preen, and bask. He dashes across the arena on his tiptoes, taking tiny steps to show off his balance and footwork. He bends himself into multiple cartwheels. He curls his arms into various bicep and tricep flexes. He squats to warm up his thighs, and bounds into a few flips. Each maneuver is rewarded with renewed applause and swooning cries.

    Good thing the camera cuts away to pan around the crowd before anybody notices how Mister Satan's heaving for breath and sweating after only a few laps.

    Fireworks rocket upward from the ring's four corners in multiple bursts. The multi-colored sparks reflect in the gilded face of Mister Satan's championship belt. It's a few years old now, but still a recognizable symbol of his biggest claim to fame as the World Martial Arts Tournament's premier contender. It was his skill in this very stadium which propelled him into the global spotlight, and gave him the fame needed to found and expand Satan Enterprises into the dominant business force it is today. His name and face are as recognized as his belt. He's a hero, a champion for justice, and a champion fighter.

    All that could be on the line today.

    Mister Satan grows abruptly serious as the last strains of his theme song fade away. Folding his arms across his broad, supremely masculine chest, he waits with nervous impatience for the arrival of his opponent.

    Inwardly, he starts to fret. What if this guy's really as dangerous as they say...?!

Megatron (532) has posed:
    THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. Metallic footsteps, something that would sound as if a metal drum was being smacked repeatedly on the ground. Megatron's arrival is heralded with shouts of surprise from the audience, but he snubs them entirely as a throne of sorts is carried close to the field. Front row seats, more or less.

    Taking a seat, Megatron hears protests from some of the audience. "Hey, wide load, down in front! We can't see the fight!" This is unheeded. "I said MOVE!" A cup of soda is tossed at Megatron, bouncing off the Decepticon's shoulder plating.

    THIS gets his attention, and for a brief moment he immediately glares back at the poor bastard that beaned him with a cup, purple eyes full of barely contained rage and malice as he bares fangs.

    His fusion cannon gives off a hefty 'CHA-CHUNK' as it charges up. The audience member and others get the hint, and immediately people begin to move.

    Satisfied, Megatron switches the safety on his cannon once more before he resumes his seat, an energon goblet in hand.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a special exhibition match of the World Martial Arts Tournament. Commentary today will be brought to you buy Honnouji Academy's finest students under the request of Lady Satsuki Kiryuin. I am Honnouji Academy Student Council's Disciplinary Committee Chairman, Ira Gamagoori!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "The same, Athletic Clubs Committee Chair, Uzu Sanageyama!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "The same, Information and Strategy committee chair, Houka Inumuta."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "The same, Non-Athletic Clubs Committee Chair, Nonon Jakuzure~."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "This afternoon, we will be having a match between a skilled Pokemon trainer of the Confederacy's rank and file, operating infamously under the name of Lute, and the Multiversally-famous martial artist known as Mister Satan, long renowned for his skill in the ring."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Speaking of which, it looks as if he's already taking the field, so to speak. He certainly has a flair for showmanship."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure, deadpan. "He's giving his all for his fans. And it shows."

Lute (188) has posed:
     Lute is, honestly, not one to be outdone by someone such as Mr. Satan. Though the Strongest Man in the Multiverse makes a wonderful entrance, so too does Lute. It'll be in quite a different manner, though.

     From the distance, a large figure can be seen, behind the main building at the end of the arena. It is a large, crablike figure, covered in blue fur. It lets out a bit of a roar as it comes in, though it is obviously being a /lot/ quieter than it can be. Part of the reason is so that Lute's /own/ music starts playing, to announce his arrival.


     Lute himself is atop this massive kaiju, draped in a hooded brown poncho. He leaps down, the poncho billowing in the wind, as he lands in the arena. Mr. Crabs takes a seat behind the building, wanting to watch this epic battle himself.

     And, finally, Lute says something.

     Someone in the audience loudly asks, "Who's that?!"

     And Lute responds, with one of the /many/ variations of the Team Rocket Motto.

     He holds a hand forward, poitning to the audience member.

     "If I am asked, I will answer for the sake of tomorrow!"

     "FUTURE! A White Future reflects the Color of Evil!"

     "Universe! The Hammer of Justice in a Black World!"

     "My name will be remembered in this place!"

     "Destroyer of Passion, Pure Heart of Darkness, Infinite Intelligence..."

     And, the poncho is tossed off, revealing his form.


     "Come gather! Under the Name of Team Rocket!"

     Lute lifts his hands up, beckoning for the audience to either cheer for him, or boo him.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "And his competitor has chosen to join him in the ring with a display of showmanship that is easily the Champion's equal, in its own way!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "He can't possibly be planning to drag that huge thing into the fight, can he? As much fun as it would be to go after that thing, it'll trash the arena if it tries!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Leave it to the monkey to look at something huge like that and see a mountain he wants to climb."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "You have to admit, it would provide some interesting data."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Well, I /guess/ it would be funny to watch, at least."

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:
    Mister Satan throws his cape back from his powerful shoulders, letting it stream out behind him like a war banner. The wind gusting in its white folds is nearly strong enough to tear it away! The same wind ruffles in his glorious hair, and teases the very ends of his brawny mustache. It might also be sending an enticing shiver through his potent field of chest hair, but that could also be the straining of his pectoral muscles, flexing as he draws a deep breath.

    A microphone is pressed into Mister Satan's hand just as he smirks and begins a low chuckle. His deep voice echoes throughout an arena stunned to silence. Though there's a contingent of enthusiastic supporters for Lute, only a few very brave people actually /jeer/ at Lute.

    "You think your monsters are enough to take on the likes of me?! The only Hammer of Justice here is wielded by my hands! You, a despicable and vile agent of evil, you who threatens the universe with his declarations and his monstrous allies -- "

    /WHOOSH/. Mister Satan's free hand thrusts out toward Lute in the form of a fist. The audience /gasps/ at the same instant his thumb juts out sideways. /WHOOSH/ -- Mister Satan turns his thumb down.

    "Today is the last day you spread your fear! I, World Champion Mister Satan, defender of justice, hero to the people of Earth, will not let you pass by uncontested! And those who cross me...find their journey of evil come to a sudden end!"

    Inner Hercule is rubbing his hands together in glee. That'll show 'em. I've still got it!

    The audience is shrieking again.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "Mister Satan seems to have strong words in response to Lute's villanous declaration of arrival. The Champion seems more than willing to play the hero in response to such a dedicated antagonist!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "It's definitely an interesting tack they've picked. But good or evil, hero or villain... once the bell rings, all those distinctions go away like dust on the wind! Once the match starts, there's only one truth..."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure siiigh. "Let me guess. Who's stron-"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "THE TRUTH OF WHO IS STRONGER!!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Do we really need the loudspeakers? We could save a lot on electricity."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Actually, for once you're right. They use a lot of energy."

Lute (188) has posed:
     Lute simply smirks at Mr. Satan. Yes, the man is incredibly skilled at showmanship. But, so is /Lute./ Lute smiles, lifting his hand. Lute pulls out his /own/ microphone, from his pocket. Who the hell knows how he got one too, but hey. This is a bigger fight than just the normal tournament battles. This is a fight that will be /legendary/.

     "HAH! Do you think a hammer of justice can beat /me/? I'm LOGAN LUTE TRIESTE! Strongest Pokemon Trainer in the Universe!"

     And, suddenly, a dramatic point forward with his right hand, the microphone held in his left still.


     Lute then tosses the microphone away, and takes on a dramatic pose. His knees are bent, braced against the ground. His fist clench, and he flexes his muscles. He is /glowing/ with ki, a purple aura surrounding him.

     And Lute is screaming. Constantly. It is amazing how much lung capacity he has.

     Also it vaguely looks like he is constipated.

     Still, though, if anyone is trying to analyze his power level, his power level is probably rising due to this.

     Mr. Crabs, due to a mental command from Lute, adjusts his monocle. Sure, Mr. Crabs is a more animalistic monster, but with commands from Lute, it can do minor things that make it appear a /bit/ more intelligence. Such as adjusting the giant custom made monocle it has. Truly, this will be a great battle!

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Is... is something wrong with him? Should we be calling an ambulance?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "Of course not, that's just his fighting spirit welling up!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "Whatever it is, Lute has surrounded himself with a brilliant, flaring aura of some kind! It looks as if he's on fire, and the strain must be enormous by the way he's roaring, but he's throwing himself into it without the faintest hint of hesitation!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "I'm more interested in his lung capacity. By all rights they should have collapsed two... no, three times over, now."

Tenshi Hinanai (477) has posed:
    Quite inexplicably, a dark shadow appears over the entire arena. It rapidly shrinks, centering on Lute as he flexes and screams and powers up. Is this the true inner darkness of the infamous member of Team Rocket?

    No, it's a rock.

    Out of nowhere, an acorn-shaped gray stone the approximate size of a small car SLAMS into the ground right on top of the roaring Team Rocket member, embedding a least two thirds of itself in the stony floor of the arena itself and sending cracks spiderwebbing throughout the entire square surface. Wrapped around the upper third of this stone is a braided white rope, with numerous zig-zagged paper tassles dangling from it.

    Sitting on top of the stone is a blue-haired girl in a blue dress and a black hat, decorated with peaches. Calmly, the girl stands up, patting her dress and then straightening with one hand held overhead. Lute's microphone lands neatly in her reaching fingers and she lowers it to her mouth.


    The Angel who Descended From Heaven hops from the top of her keystone and starts pacing the perimeter of the cracked-but-still-functional ring, "So I heard that there's a HERO OF JUSTICE here! My name is Hinanai Tenshi and I'm not convinced!" In her other hand, she produces the hilt of her sword, the Sword of Hisou, which she twirls by its tassle strap, "So I, the great angel from Heaven, have come down to TEST this so-called hero!"

    A glance over her shoulder at the stone, "...Oh yeah, sorry about that, but this is a two-person dance! You can have this back, though." The microphone is twirled and then tossed to the inanimate stone, only so Tenshi can grasp the hilt of her sword with both hands. Lifting it, the orange blade erupts to life and she drives it down into the stone at her feet.

    The ENTIRE STADIUM shudders. With a cracking, contorting sound, jagged stone erupts from the four sides of the arena, forming waist-high walls on each side. Tenshi wrenches her sword free, twirls it, and then points the flame-like blade directly at Mister Satan, "Do you accept the Trial of Heaven, 'Hero of Justice'?!"

Lute (188) has posed:
     Lute is now crushed under a /giant fricking rock/.

     Mr. Crabs doesn't move. But.

     The monocle falls off.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "WHAT THE HELL."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "W-WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! A large rock has just fallen out of the sky and crashed right down onto Lute in the middle of his powerup! And there's- SOME GIRL IS STANDING ON TOP OF THE STONE! IS SHE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS INTERRUPTION?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "...My my. This may have actually gotten interesting. She's challenging him to a fight as an /angel/, apparently."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Well, that's disappointing, I was interested in analyzing Lute's performance..." He may have just pushed up his glasses. "But this promises to be even more worthwhile data."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "I'll allow it~."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "I'll allow it."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "I JUST WANT TO SEE A FIGHT!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "You three need to get your priorities straight!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "My goodness, is the Froggy sulking?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori hmphs!

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:
    All around Mister Satan, impenetrable and utterly unclimbable walls of stone rise up to entrap him in the ring. Before him, his intended opponent is dashed beneath a heavenly stone. Astride that stone is a beautiful but remarkably powerful and probably dangerous young woman the likes of which have never before graced his home planet. Is she an angel?! Or is she a devil come to issue some kind of retribution?!

    Can Mister Satan's jaw be any more unhinged, or his eyes more boggled?!

    He turns his head all the way to the left in little stopmotiony jerks. He turns his head to the right in a stuttering repetition of the same shocked movement.

    His microphone picks up HEROIC SILENCE.

    Oh, right! The microphone! The people! The crowds! Somewhere, a child cries out in angry defiance, "SATAAAAAAN! SHOW HER THE POWER OF JUSTICE! SATAAAAAAAAAN!"

    Other people take up the cry. "SATAAAN! SATAAAN! SATAAAN! SA! TA! /UHN/!"

    A fire is kindled inside his heart. Inner Hercule raises his fist. Mister Satan stabs an accusatory finger toward the girl on her big boulder. "YOU WHO WOULD DISHONORABLY DISRUPT AN ONGOING CHALLENGE SHALL FIND ME A RIGHTEOUS FOE! Bring on the challenge sent down by Heaven -- I, Satan, Practitioner of the Forbidden Satan Arts, stand ready to face you! LET ME TEACH YOU A LESSON...OF JUSTIIIIIICE!"

    He rips the cape from his shoulders, twirls it over his head once, and lets it fly free in the wind. Next, his belt is stripped away, to be set on the ground in kneeling reverence; then, Mister Satan rises up, and FLEXES --

    His brown gi jacket bursts apart into shredded fragments.

    The spotlights shine down on him.

    He is ready.

    Mister Satan rushes across the ring. He draws back his fist. With the spirits of all who watch him giving him strength, he thrusts his fist in a brute-force attack aimed at the girl, his deep voice roaring:


Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "I cannot believe Mister Satan is tolerating this shameless intrusion on the sacred rules of the tournament! He seems just as stunned as we are at this unannounced and unacceptable behavior!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "Heh heh... A man's passion won't be dimmed so easily! If he's really a martial artist, then he won't be anything but fired up with a strong enemy in front of him, and if he really believes in justice, he'll want to punish her himself!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "Even still, he shouldn't-!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Oh? It look as if he's preparing to fight indeed."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "He certainly has enough muscle for five men. That poor gi. It's the true hero of this match."

Tenshi Hinanai (477) has posed:
    When voices in the audience start chanting the name of the champion--who looks downright flabbergasted, for the record--Tenshi spreads her arms to either side and twirls slowly in place, presenting herself to the chanting stadium-goers, "Oh, but aren't I so much more cute and pure than that nasty old villain Lute?"

    Satan's shouting gets her attention again and the girl stops, planting her foot down with a rumbling throughout the arena. Facing him sidelong, her dress billowing, Tenshi's lips spread into a wide, bright smile, "That's the spirit!" Her stance shifts and she holds her hands up, gesturing to herself, "Come on and show me your Justice! Teach me a lesson--!"


    Fist, meet face. There's a sudden silence from the angel, who has only moved slightly bit from being struck. Her head is tipped back, Mister Satan's knuckles buried in her cheek. And now it's Tenshi's chance to look surprised. Some might think she's surprised he actually hit her.

    In truth she's surprised it didn't hurt as much as she was expecting from a WORLD CHAMPION of JUSTICE AND HOPE.

    In a low voice, hushed so the microphone can't pick it up, she asks, "...Is that really it?"

    Red eyes search back and forth as she thinks of something, and then suddenly those eyebrows furrow down in fury. She doesn't even step back. Tenshi simply raises her free hand, fingers curled. Nearby, a stone the size of a basketball rips itself out of the ring, wrapped in braided sacred rope, and hurls itself at the Champ's midsection.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "Even if the match isn't the one we were promised, we still seem to have a real challenge on our hands! She's trying to appeal to the crowd on good looks and purity-"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure snorts. "She's lucky I'm not competing."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Would you pummel the crowd into siding with you?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "And just what is that supposed to-"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori cuts across with a brief burst of booming bombast. "BUT THE CHAMPION'S BLOW HAS NOT been averted or avoided, and she's taken it on the cheek! She doesn't look particularly moved by such a simple technique, however, and responds by attempting to blindside him with a levitating stone!"

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:
    The rock strikes Mister Satan dead on.

    He goes FLYYYING backwards, wind whipping through his majestic locks until the afro 'do becomes an afro /don't/. Nothing slows his momentum -- except the rock wall Tenshi's raised.

    A perfect impression of his figure is left in the wall after he tumbles down to the arena floor in a shower of pebbles.

    The impact would leave any normal guy reeling, but as we know by now, Mister Satan is no normal guy! He's a coward and a blowhard, on the inside, but here, under these spotlights, with the attention of the entire Multiverse upon him, his will to succeed has never been stronger!

    Maybe 'will to succeed' is calling it a bit strong. It's more like, 'will to not get found out as a complete fake.' Either way, Mister Satan pushes stiffly back to his feet, and pats his stomach, right where a big purple bruise is starting to spread out in the shape of a basketball-sized boulder. His laughter may not sound so gregarious as it usually does, but he tries.


    Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up...

    Mister Satan snaps back into an aggressive stance. He wipes the sweat off his chin with the back of his hand. "I call this one...DYNAMIC MESS 'EM UP PUNNNNNNNNNNCH!"

    And just like the attack telegraphs, it's a punch all right. This time, Mister Satan charges back across the arena at top speed, and thrusts a forward punch right at the spot between Tenshi's eyes!

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "The stone is a hit! It strikes Mister Satan squarely in the midsection, and he's knocked halfway across the arena, right into one of the walls that's been raised around it!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "Ouch. If I saw a hit like that in the Boxing Club's ring, I'd call the match right there. That's the kind of hit you don't get up from."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "And yet Satan is standing up! His abs must truly be made of iron!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Feeling a certain kinship with him, Gamagoori?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "It is difficult not to respect a man with his level of resolve."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "You might take a moment to stop fawning over him. He's throwing another punch."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "He's certainly got some interesting technique! This time it's a straight punch, coming right in like a missile!"

Tenshi Hinanai (477) has posed:
    The angel shifts her posture again, raising her hands to gesture towards her face, "THAT'S the spirit! Now you're finding that real center of a true hero! Show me what you've got--"

    Now one might say Tenshi's got rocks in her head. It certainly feels that way when Mister Satan's fist smacks into the bridge of her nose with a dull *THUNK* that serves to ruffle Tenshi's hair but does not knock her down.

    Her eyes just flatten, brows forming a perfectly straight line from one side to the other, "...Really?" Again her voice is hushed so the microphones don't hear her. Those red eyes simply fixate on the martial artist, around the fist in her face, "Are you messing with me or are you doing your hardest, here?"

    That pointed question asked, she suddenly jerks her head back as if the strike had seriously injured her, staggering back and clutching her face with one hand. Voice raised, she cheerfully exclaimed, "ONE rock?!" Posture straightening, crimson runs down her face--It's not blood--and she raises her free hand. The arena starts to shake as more keystones erupt from the surface at seemingly random places, "How about a WHOLE BUNCH!?"

    When she sweeps her other hand, she also lets go of the ketchup packet she's holding, disguised as the gestured command that causes the hovering keystones to start zipping around the arena, slamming into the walls, each other, and the keystone she had arrived on, "I command the power of earth and stone, the ground beneath your feet is my weapon, now prove to me your worth as a hero!"

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "Whether or not this girl truly is an angel, at the very least she is as immovable as one! A direct blow to the face does not seem to budge her- no, she's stumbling back and bleeding! The champion must be putting immense power into his blows!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "...What, Sanageyama, no diatribe on the weight of a man's feelings behind his fists, or something like that?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "Why would I do something so predictable? Besides, everyone knows it already!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Well, this is certainly different. She's displaying a large breadth of control here, having already shown us its depth. First one large stone, now a dozen or more small ones. I wonder if he can dodge all of them?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "She can certainly boast, by the sound of it. She's claiming the earth itself is her weapon."

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:
    Mister Satan acts quickly to convince the crowd he's landed an incredible blow. "Your body may not move beneath the force of my fists," he shouts, mere inches from Tenshi's face, "but the power of justice will move you from within! You see!?" Mister Satan draws back his fist to point out the delayed spurt of blood. "Your very soul quivers in the face of a true hero's wrath! Now, I shall rise above this challenge, and -- "


    The whole ground shudders. Mister Satan falls back a few wobbly paces and makes a sound like 'uwawawawawa' as he tries to find his footing. As the first keystone shoots by him, he bends his body like a limp noodle, barely dodging the rock. The second is avoided through a last-second collapse to the arena floor. The third stone clips him, sending him bouncing back to his feet, and the fourth hits him squarely, sending him flying --

    -- /toward/ Tenshi!

    Mister Satan's terrified "HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" probably sounds like a fearsome battlecry to the audience. To Tenshi, it's the sound of a man giving his all despite his obvious, overwhelming fright and complete inability to stand up to his foe.

    As Mister Satan goes flying past, he tries to grab Tenshi and carry her along for the inevitable crunching impact with the far wall. "S-S-S-S-SATAN...SUPAAAAAAAAA GRAB ATTACK! THE HANDS OF JUSTICE DO NOT RELEASE ONCE THEY GRIP YOUUUUUUUU!"

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "In a match like this, experience and improvisation are what will win the day. No matter how strong you are, someone who fights smart can beat you every time!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure unconvinced. "Improvisation."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "He certainly has good reaction times. You normally only see people scared out of their wits moving that fast, but he's pulling it off in an ordinary exhibition. That's what makes him a champion, I guess."

Tenshi Hinanai (477) has posed:
    The ricocheting keystones lose their ability to float when Tenshi is hit squarely in the midsection by a MANLY PROJECTILE. His arms wrap around her and she pushes down on his shoulders, "Hey, get your filthy mortal hands off me! That's forbidden territory--" And then she hits the wall with a fake-winded "--OOF!"

    Voice low, she mutters, "Make it fun and I won't totally ruin you, 'kay?"

    She then squirms and struggles in a way that at least looks like she's stuck, "Unhand my divine person!" While struggling, she gets an arm free and raises it in a gesture, then grapples with Mister Satan more directly.

    Behind the Champion, a flat plane of stone rises a few inches. It then rises a few feet, supported on four legs. It's a table.

    When Tenshi gets herself free, making a big show of expending effort to do so, she slips around behind the champion and clamps her arms around his middle. Lifting, she arcs her back and hauls him overhead with a shout, "--SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!"

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Well well. It seems the heavenly princess wasn't prepared for a lowly mortal to lay hands on her. If you're going to trounce someone, you have to be prepared to get your hands dirty. Satan certainly did."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "I swear I'll let the drummers use you for practice."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "This is no time for a petty argument! She seems to have summoned a platform of stone, and... no, IT'S A TABLE! BRINGING IN OUTSIDE IMPLEMENTS IS UNDERHANDED AND-"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "She created it from her own power, it's fair game! And putting a champ through a table is a time-honored tradition!"

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:
    Make it fun?!

    Mister Satan wobbles away from the wall, reeling over both the impact and the offer. Doubling over, he lets out a wheezing laugh, and waves to the aerial camera suddenly zooming in on his position. "Hahaaa! Hahaha! Though my opponent is fierce and strong, and able to throw rocks as easily as I throw evil from the streets, I am not yet stopped!"

    As he speaks, blood fountains from a gash across his head. He seems to be ignoring it. Laughing right through it. He's still laughing even as he's picked up. "DAHAHAHAHA!"

    Mister Satan crashes through the table. Busted stone rains down around him. Again. Is it shock which pulls him back up to his feet, or sheer inability to recognize how much pain his body's been put through? The Champ rises again and again, the crowd cheering his name. A massive welt rises up to seal his left eye shut, but he still flashes a victory sign.

    Inwardly, Mister Satan is weeping in horror, and begging to be let back into the locker room.

    Suddenly, he raises both arms up over his head, wrists bent with fingers pointed at an angle at Tenshi, his right knee lifted. He's taken up an exaggerated praying mantis stance -- sucking in a big breath before he begins another exultant speech!

    "The hearts of thousands are with me tonight, filled with hope for a brighter tomorrow because their champion fights! You will now face my most dangerous technique! The strength of my people floods through me! Can you not feel it?! It is like an electricity on the air, only the electricity is named HOPE! HOPE FOR THE WORLD! HOPE FOR JUSTICE! HOPE FOR THE FUTURE!"

    Mister Satan suddenly squats and draws in another big breath. His voice booming now, he roars out, "SATAN SPECIAL MIRACLE HOPEFUL STRIKE! ENERGY OF A THOUSAND HEARTS EXPLOOOOOOOOOODE!"

    He thrusts his arms forward, and aims his cupped palms at Tenshi, as if he has just released a huge energy attack totally comparable to the Kamehame Ha.

    Nothing, of course, actually /happens/.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "And despite the punishment being delivered to him, Mister Satan continues to rise up! Not only that, he's adopting some sort of stance!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "It looks like he's trying to see how long he can balance on one foot."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "The answer is 'as long as he needs to'! Something more than simple desire to win is driving that man! I almost want to challenge him myself just to see what it's like to face that drive directly!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Well, his speeches certainly don't make much sense, but at least they're passionate. Is he really calling on the energy of peoples' hearts? I'm not detecting anything."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "That's because your heart is made of plastic and circuit boards."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "I can't see anything either, but if Mister Satan is doing it, it must be some form of grand attack!"

Tenshi Hinanai (477) has posed:
    Tenshi steps forward, cracking apart part of the stone table under her boot, "But do you truly have these hearts behind you?" The stance puts her on edge, however, and she calls up one of the discarded Keystones, lifting it between herself and her battered foe as if to use it as a shield. When he thrusts his hands forward and nothing happens, her eyes narrow.

    There's a brief 'seriously?' look on her face before she flexes her fingers. The keystone she's protecting herself with suddenly shatters. A crimson beam shoots out of the remains of the stone, enveloping Tenshi and blasting a hole in the stone wall behind her. It also hits the walls of the stadium, but cancels off before it manages to bore through THAT.

    Sizzling slightly but none the worse for wear, Tenshi storms forward through the smoke and dust, once again wielding the Sword of Hisou, "You'll have to do better than that to defeat an Angel! Were I a less pure being, such might would incinerate me, but the Divinity of Heaven protects me from such attempts!"

    "Perhaps a glimse into your TRUE nature is in order!" The sword is twirled, then thrust for the center of Mister Satan's chest. It sure feels like being stabbed, but it doesn't /pierce/ him, it doesn't draw blood. When she rips the sword free, it seethes with crimson mist which the tennyo hurls into the sky with a shout.

    It starts to rain. A little bit at first. Rapidly growing worse.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "Hinanai doubts Mister Satan's resolve, but as a result she takes what seems to become a crimson blast once it shatters the stone she protects herself with!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "I couldn't even see it cross the distance between them! That's some incredible form of attack!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Is this really happening. Am I really involved in this."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "What is she doing now? She's said something about a glimpse into his true nature, and she's stabbing him with a sword right in the chest."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "THAT'S A FLAGRANT VIOLATION OF THIS TOURNAMENT'S RULES OF- he's... he's not bleeding?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "WHAT?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "After everything we've seen so far, THAT'S what shocks you?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Whatever that attack was, it seems to have caused a rainstorm. The weather was projected as perfectly clear for days yet."

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:

    It's his worst nightmare. His very worst nightmare! What will the people think whenever the coward inside is shown to their adoring eyes?! He isn't half the warrior he pretends to be! He is...he is nothing but a pretender! A deceiver! A man who hides behind bluff and posturing, but in a real fight against someone of Tenshi's caliber...he is all be helpless! Hopeless! Exposed as the cad he is!

    But...has he not always fought for a NOBLE purpose? Has he not always shown immense kidness and generosity to the people around him?! Yes, he may not make for a very strong fighter, and he has always aspired to be a legendary hero, A STAR TO SHINE FOR ALL ETERNITY, but hasn't he always cared?! To be a hero means to be compassionate, and to share his wisdom and wealth with the world! Yes, he sits atop the throne of a vast enterprise, but his wealth is not spent solely on his own pleasures! He was there to rebuild when Vegeta took over the planet! He was there when the Union came and liberated his world from tyranny, ready to support the transition of power into proper hands!

    He has always stood up in word and deed for justice, honor in battle, and purity of spirit! He may be a coward, but he is a friend to all, and a staunch opposer of evil!

    Mister Satan chokes past the agony induced by Tenshi's stab. "You may...wield a powerful sword...but no blade can cut through...the iron will of MISTER SATAN! BRRRRRRRRACE YOURSELVES! THIS BATTLE IS FAR FROM OVER!"

    The rain runs down his face like tears from his beautiful eyes as Mister Satan stands up again, impossibly, and stretches his empty hand out toward the left wall. "NOW! SATAN SPECIAL DELIVERY!"

    Something is launched over the wall.

    It's a package, wrapped in shining purple wrapping paper, tied with a bright yellow bow. It lands perfectly in his outstretched hand.

    Mister Satan takes up a pitcher's stance...and lobs it at Tenshi. "PRRRRRRRESENT FOR YOUUUUU!"

    As soon as Tenshi catches the gift (because who wouldn't catch a gift thrown by Mister Satan), he points his fingers off to the left again, and nods once, stiffly.

    His right hand, hidden inside his pocket, pushes a detonator. The packaged explodes. There's confetti, but it's still a bomb.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "It looks as if that stab certainly hurts, even if it didn't cause any visible wound! I don't know what sort of weapon an angel wields, but it appears dangerous regardless of its nature. ...AND YET MISTER SATAN IS FORCING HIMSELF TO HIS FEET YET AGAIN!!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "He's so good at getting back up even I'm starting to respect him a little. Huh."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "Anyone can be moved by-"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "We know, we know, a man's spirit that burns brightly enough."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Well well, it looks like the Champion at least is unafraid to call for special deliveries from outside the match itself."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "What on earth is he- why are you giving your opponent a present?! That's-"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "..."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "..."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "..."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "...THROWING HER A BOMB?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Oh my. It's the first smart thing he's done all match."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "When you're only human, even if you're a peak human, using any advantage you can get against an angel like Hinanai is wise."

Tenshi Hinanai (477) has posed:
    "Do you like it?" Tenshi twirls the blazing orange blade, hissing in the rain (OF JUSTICE?) caused by her Spell Card, "This is a sacred treasure of Bhava-Agra, the divine Tennyo blade, the Sword of Scarlet Perceptions, Hisou no Tsurugi." Eyes closed, she gestures with her free hand, "As a Tennyo treasure, of course, a mortal can't wield it at all--"

    Special delivery?! Caught by surprise during her boasting, Tenshi drops her sword, catches the package, and fumbles with it for a moment. And then she just stares at it, rain running off the brim of her hat, "...Huh. Wow. So even after all the stuff I've done and said, you're willing to give me a present?" She lowers her gaze more until her hat conceals her eyes, just so she can wipe the actually real tears with one hand, "A-ah, thank you. Maybe I was wrong about--"


    "--I WASN'T WRONG AT ALL!" Tenshi roars from inside the smoke cast out by the blast. Within that cloud, Tenshi whirls the Sword of Hisou up and then slams the blade down into the ground at her feet. The arena shudders as jagged slabs of stone erupt from its surface in concentric rings around her. They only stand up for a few moments before sinking back down to being relatively flat.

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "I cannot believe that worked."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Oh, what's this~? I think she was actually fooled for a moment there. I wouldn't be caught by such an obvious ploy."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "That's because venom drips from every single word you say."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "I don't want to hear that from the mountain ape."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "Interesting. It seems that sword can manipulate the arena itself alongside the weather. She referred to it as a treasure of the heavens. Perhaps she's the real thing after all."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "Real or otherwise, she represents a genuine threat when she causes stone to erupt from the ground like that!"

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:
    "Anyone who questions my resolve to champion these people, be they angel from above or devil from below, shall face the fullness of my skill and power! And now, I shall show to you my greatest gift! You have seen martial prowess! You have seen excellence of strength! You have seen my unshakeable spirit! NOW YOU SHALL -- "

    The arena floor erupts to form a haphazard series of jagged plinths. At first, Mister Satan balances confidently atop the two points of two stony spires emerging very close together, but as the two grow farther apart, he has trouble keeping his balance! His legs slide apart until he's nearly performing a split. Increasingly anxious, Mister Satan makes a few nervous noises as he windmills his arms and sweats out huge beads of sweat.

    He falls.

    Mister Satan bounces back to the ground like the ball in a large, painful pachinko machine. He lands in a boneless heap, groaning.

    Very quietly, he gasps out at Tenshi, "I thought you said you'd throw this if I made it fun...what's more fun than exploding presents..."

    Mister Satan is very slow to get up. He doesn't look like he's seeing anything straight at all. Missing a couple of teeth at least, black and blue and scraped all over, bleeding from a few cuts, and missing a chunk of his famous 'fro, Mister Satan nevertheless puts up his dukes for a final attempt at victory.

    "I, Mister Satan, representative of a kind-hearted people, defender of the innocent, champion of justice, righter of wrongs, and all around GOOD GUY shall finish this once and for all! LET THE VOICES OF MY FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS SERVE AS PROOF OF MY HEROIC SOUL! LISTEN TO THEIR SHOUTS FILL THE AIR!"

    Yeah, the shouting starts up again.


    He rushes up on Tenshi, running on his tiptoes.


    And offers her a handshake.


Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "After a brief balancing act, Mister Satan has fallen prey to the angel's attack after all!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "What's that he's muttering? I can't hear him all the way over here."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "He's at the wrong angle for lip reading."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "I didn't bring any listening equipment with me."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "That landing must have knocked the wind out of him. Nevertheless, once again he is rising up! It looks much more difficult, but that is simply a testament to his force of will!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Well, at least the crowd agrees with you. If nothing else, I can't fault his ability to get the spectators fired up."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "And now he's talking about a final form of his own?! What could he possibly transform into-"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "..."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "..."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "..."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, ".../really/?"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "Please don't tell me she's going to fall for it. Moreover, please don't tell me he /means/ it."

Tenshi Hinanai (477) has posed:
    "Shut up," Tenshi hisses between her teeth as the smoke clears from the combined explosion and her own earth manipulation, "I'm just making it look good--! Now act like a badass, damnit!"


    She puts on the Supervillain act however as Mister Satan regains his feet, sweeping the Sword of Hisou around in a wide arc and then planting the tip of the blade into the stone at her feet.

    "SHOW ME!" the angel declares, sweeping her free hand to one side, "The might of your justice! The final finishing move with all your heart and spirit!" Leaning foward, she gestures to her face, "COME ON! /TEACH ME A LESSON/!"

    And then she gets ... a hand shoved into her face. And not, like, punching. A handshake. Tenshi leans back, blinking in surprise, staring at that beefy hand held out to her by the Mustachioed Champion.

    Hesitantly, she places her hand in his and shakes firmly. For such a dainty girl, she has a Man's Handshake, all right. After a moment, those red eyes close and the smile she gives is actually, honestly genuine: "Friends. Alright. Let's be friends."

    And then perhaps due to the Impossibly Powerful Nature of Mister Satan's Final Attack, Tenshi's grip falters and she falls backwards slowly, dramatically. Her sword is uprooted and tossed into the air by her collapse, spinning through the air.

    DEFEATED BY FRIENDSHIP, the fearsome angel Hinanai Tenshi falls unconscious before Mister Satan. A few moments later, the Sword of Hisou lands blade-first a few feet away, sticking out of the ruined arena floor.

    After a moment, one red eye cracks, fixing on Hercule, as if to say 'Come on, ham it up you idiot!'

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "And she's shaking his hand?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure whud, whud, whud, whud. No words. Just the sound of a forehead hitting a desk.
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "What kind of attack is this?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "It looks like just an ordinary handshake."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Ira Gamagoori says, "After such a dramatic exchange of attacks, are they really going to end this on a note of sportsmanshi- WHAT?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Uzu Sanageyama says, "SHE FELL OVER?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "WHAT THE HELL."
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "That was some handshake."

Lute (188) has posed:
     Yes, truly, there is no greater weapon than friendship. Nothing, /nothing/, can beat the Power of Friendship.

     Except for, perhaps, a giant enemy crab.

     As the two shake hands, and as Tenshi falls unconcious, a gigantic shadow appears above the two of them. Mr. Crabs seems to be unaffected by this sort of show of friendship. Even if it might actually be Friendship, with a capital F.

     Though Mr. Satan and Tenshi might let out /another/ Capital F word soon.

     Mr. Crabs steps into the arena. And steps onto Tenshi and Mr. Satan.

     Also he got his monocle back on, somehow. His tophat is adjusted, also.

Mister Satan (TP) (Dropped) has posed:
    Oh, don't worry. It's gonna be like Easter Sunday, there's so much ham! Mister Satan draws himself up. Somehow, although its position is precarious atop a broken chunk of rocky rubble, there is a microphone close enough for him to reach. He takes it up, and brings it to his mouth, his heavy breathing audible across the speakers as a teary-eyed hush falls across the crowd.

    "MY FRIENDS -- "


    Mister Satan drops beneath the foot of a giant crab.

    How did they forget about the crab?

Tenshi Hinanai (477) has posed:
    Laying on the ground pretending to be unconscious, Tenshi works very hard to avoid snickering. And then the rain stops. It's not supposed to stop yet. One eye opens and she sees only darkness. Wait.



    There's the briefest moment when Tenshi throws up her hands "WAIT NO--"


Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Nonon Jakuzure says, "WHAT KIND OF ENDING IS THAT?!"
-<RADIO: WMAT8>- Houka Inumuta says, "My goodness. It appears that in the clash between a hero and an angel, the winner is the giant monster. Who would have guessed?"

Satsuki Kiryuin (430) has posed:
<J-IC-Moderated> Satsuki Kiryuin> Ira Gamagoori begins to speak. Then stops. Then begins to speak again. Then stops. And suddenly, Nonon Jakuzure grabs the mic. "The match absolutely went to hell. The original contender was squished. The new one wasn't nearly as cute as she wanted to believe she was. The champion handshook her to death. Somehow. And then the giant monster stepped on them all. Your guess is as good as mine, everyone. I give up."

Lute (188) has posed:
     Mr. Crabs proceeds to adjust his tophat, just slightly.

     His crablike claw then reaches down to pick up the microphone Mr. Satan dropped.

     And he proceeds to drop the mike.

     He then turns around, and walks away from the battlefield. Going to who knows where.