6215/Tower of Santaga - Floor 6

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Tower of Santaga - Floor 6
Date of Scene: 10 December 2018
Location: Tower of Santaga
Synopsis: Santam celebrates Christmas with Saber Santa with a Arthurian game show twist.
Cast of Characters: Archer, Sir Gawain, Tomoe, Touta Konoe

Archer has posed:
The 6th floor of the Tower of Santaga is absolutely barren. The floors, the walls, and even the ceiling are all just a blinding shade of white that drown out detail. The only thing that sticks out at all is a single throne. A throne holding a blonde figure clad in a Santa hat and heavy armor. Some might recognize them as King Arthur, others Artoria(Altria) Pendragon, and some just Saber. Regardless what people know them as, or if they even know them at all, their identity is quite clear.

     "I welcome you all, brave travelers, and thank you for taking your time to participate. Unfortunately, that's all I can you do, for you see..."

     Their speech is a bit stilted and unatural, as if they rehearsed this greeting in a rush. The awkward pause all but confirms the greeting was canned though, as they await for some sort of response.

     Eventually a masked man in a red coat appears from behind the throne, a sack of presents thrown casually thrown over his shoulder in an imitation of Jolly Ol' Saint Nick. It's Archer. It's god damn Archer. The mask does jack and all to obscure his real identity.

     "The Hero of Christmas and Children appears before you, Santam!"

     His voice is also undoubtedly, Archer's, but at the very least he seems to be in the spirit.

     "Dare you brave my challenge for wonderful prizes, or will you turn away with your tails between your legs?"

Sir Gawain has posed:
Among those on the 6th floor of the Tower of Santaga is a knight in a black suit with a gold tie, short blonde hair and winning smile. Gawain had heard about this Tower of Santaga and wanted to check it out, maybe get some presents. So, the Knight of the Sun has arrived, and as he steps forward into the blinding white room...

He immediately approaches the throne and drops to one knee, bowing his head. "My king, it is nice to see you. I hope you are in fair health since we have last encountered each other. If you are holding this event, I will make sure to enjoy it to the best of my abilities!" There's a beaming smile from the knight, as he awaits to stand, and then once he does, turns to the masked man approaching.

"Santa Claus?!" Gawain falls instantly for the deception, though it takes him a second. "Santa...m? Santam Claus? Well...whatever your name is, I will take your challenge! Let us have a merry event." Gawain is excited. Visibly excited. He seems like a kid in a candy store, both seeing his king again and meeting...

Santam. Yep.

Tomoe has posed:
Well this tower was holiday content that hopefully wouldn't get someone killed, so here she was and she was curiouss to see just what this event would involve. She slooks at Santam who is in no way any flavour of Shirou, perish the thought of that. She pauses looking At Sabre. "Artoria?! What are you doing here I thought you was aiding Bedi back..."

She looks /very/ confused here but snaps out of it for a moment not sure what's going on.

"I do dare to brave your challenge Santam."

She looks to Gawain for a moment and gives him a bit of a nod, a confused as she is with Sabre she is in a good mood, the multiverse is a big place after all.

Touta Konoe has posed:
     It's hard to say that this person is...Convincing. It's clearly Archer but on the other hand, it really does sound like he's trying to get into the spirit of things. It honestly feels like he's putting more effort into this than when he did that Thanksgiving dinner. Though if anything Archer hasn't really 'Decked the halls' with much but it's a good effort it seems none the less.

     As for the other person sitting on the throne, Touta's not familiar. Sitting upon the throne makes her look a princess or some sort of royalty, but her hat still gives off that Christmas vibes. Now that he thinks about it, the girl almost looks like Nero but uh...The eye color was a bit different.

     <All these Servants do look alike...>

     That is until Gawain bends the knee. Touta recalls this knight from the last time he saw him some time ago. Though...

     "Wait...King...? As in..."

     He knows that Archer said he was friends with King Arthur before but he never mentioned that Arthur was a girl! Talk about a shock! Well actually...Nobunaga...Nero...There's been discrepancies in history apparently.

     "Yeah, I'm ready for whatever's coming..."

Archer has posed:
     "Good. Good. Then prepare yourselves. Santa Saber, you know what to do!"

     Santa Saber looks at Totally Not Archer for a moment with a puzzled look on their face, before finally remembering the thing the rehearsed. An armored hand reaches underneath one of the arms of the thrones to flip a switch, and the lights in the room go out.

     "I am the jingle of my bells
     Gingerbread is my body and eggnog is my blood
     I have wrapped over a thousand presents
     Unknown to Visa
     Nor Known to Mastercard
     Have withstood pain to purchase many gifts
     Yet, those hands will never unwrap anything

     There's a slight reverb to Santam's voice, as if he's speaking into a microphone with a shitty filter, but by the time he's finished the lights switch back on, revealing that the room has changed. It's now a barren wasteland filled with numerous Christmas trees and wrapped presents, with a small positioned next to Santa Saber's feet (Gawain is magically moved through the power of Christmas Magic so he isn't wet.)

     It seems miraculous at first, but given that there's still a few worker goblins setting up the scenery, the illusion of this being an actual Reality Marble is soon broken.

     "Anyway, here are the rules. You are to return the real Excalibur to the pond beneath Saber Santa's feet, and cast it in as Sir Bedivere once did. Throwing in the wrong one will result in me and Saber Santa throwing coal at you very hard, while throwing in the real article will reward you with FABULOUS PRIZES."

     As if on cue to the words 'Fabulous prizes', twenty armored goblins dressed up like Artoria appear, all holding what appears to be Excalibur. Their armor is also labeled with a corresponding number, for some reason.

     "Oh right, you'll also have to fight them. They'll only engage you if you pick a fight with them, so feel free to pick them off one at a time or take on as many as you want. Anyway, start whenever, or flee. The choice is yours!"

Tomoe has posed:
Tomoe makes note of some of the other arrivals it was good to see Touta as well. "It's good to see you Touta how have you been? This should be far more fun than the mess back on my world." She does not think on the issue of Sabre face for the moment as. She takes note of Touta's shock and can get it, she broke harder the first day she met Sabre. Well the Sabre she called friend at the very least.

She makes redy for whate ever might cum as the chant starts Tomoe visably smiles at this. She's in good spirits now she's seen said sword before but she's not sure here.

"Well then shall we get to it?"

She'll draw her own blade Dawn Breaker.

"Why would I flee? Nope, I'm not doing that."

With that Tomoe will call out goblins Five Six and Seven to fight her, and she'll lunge right at them to get into the battle the moment they will move to enage her with a series of sword strikes.

Touta Konoe has posed:
     "Oh, TOMOE! I didn't think I was gonna see ya here!" He really didn't. But it's a great surprise none the less. "Yeah, this Santaga Tower thing has been pretty fun. A little crazy here and there but it seems to be getting everyone into the spirit. I hate to admit it cause that King always seems so to be able to get people into a flurry. But I guess he can use that power for good sometimes too."

     Once greetings between the two Gatecrashers is established he turns his attention back to Santam and his explanation of this floors rules. Seemed simplistic enough. But.. "Throw in the real Excalibur, huh...Easier said than done I bet?"

     If Touta had to take a guess more than likely all the imitations were probably made by Archer himself. A man who was the best Faker around when it came to swords. But that only makes this more interesting to try and figure. Like Tomoe, Touta will probably be charging into the group as well. But he's got a plan already in mind. Touta takes out his hula-hoop and starts spinning it, and slowly but surely the air around Touta whips up. "Alright let's see if any of you guys have the real Excalibur!"

     And with that he charges at a large group of the Goblins with immense speed using his flash movement, Shundo. It's a simple plan. Be fast enough where his Shundo let's him attack quickly to disarm a single goblin and then have the gales caused by revolution pick-up the blades into its orbit. Rinse and repeat as much as he can before they pick-up on the idea. From there though he'll probably need to figure out a way to differentiate these magical swords. "Ugh...This is gonna be really hard..."

Sir Gawain has posed:
As the waters sweep Gawain back and he learns that Arturia is Santa Saber today, he prepares himself for the challenge. As the goblins are revealed and the challenge is 'find the true Excalibur', he steels himself. The chant was really nice.

"Alright, everyone! Try and find Excalibur!" Gawain charges forward to handle the first four goblins. "Please hand over your swords so I can inspect them." Gawain waits patiently. If they make hostile overtures or move to attack, he just nods. "A fight it is. Very well, steel yourselves."

And then he uses his amazing sword and his swordsmanskill to try and just slice through the goblins and inspect the swords, using his familiarity with Excalibur to try and figure out which one is the real one. If none of them look real, he doesn't toss them in. If one does look real, he grabs it and chucks it in, though.

Also, a shout to the others. "I may be able to recognize Excalibur! Bring any swords you have to me!"

Archer has posed:
     "You ever feel like we're not getting the best deal here?"

     Goblin 1 whispers to Goblin 2 as the group of Christmas Adventurers begin to advance.

     "Nah man, the death insurance is amazing."

     "It is pretty amazing, yeah."

     They don't bother answering Gawain's question, more concerned talking about their benefits. That conversation is cut short though as Mr. Knight of the Sun waltzes on over and displays his masterwork swordsman ship.

     They try to put up a fight, they really do, they group together to block attacks and try to resort to nasty tricks to knock the knight over, but they're just goblins. Goblins that are perhaps a bit not used to with the stupid armor their wearing. Anyway, they fall, and Gawain doesn't even really need to inspect them to tell they're fake, since just clashing Galatine against them would probably be enough of an indicator that they all feel 'off'

     Touta's Shundo and overall superior speed also just kinda highlights how bad putting tiny goblins in full plate when they aren't used to it is, as he's able to to easily incapacitate the goblins with little to no problem. One of them even clearly just gives up and walks into the talk, not even wanting to bother trying. As for discerning them, they all look the same, and since he doesn't have the ability to discern the magical properties of weapons, he's pretty much out of luck on telling if they're the real article or not. Best to just throw them in the pond or something.

     The trend of the goblins not exactly being the most battle hardened bunch continues with Tomoe, as they clash their swords with the Salamander. They seems to be doing fine at first, but after the first few seconds it's clear who has the upper hand. The moment they obtain the slightest bit of injury they play dead, falling on the ground while letting out dramatized death wails and dropping their swords. Just like Touta, she can't tell. The Excaliburs all look and feel the same to her.

Touta Konoe has posed:
     Touta raises an eyebrow he was sure that he didn't actually swat the goblins hard enough to knock them out. Maybe this was part of the act or something? Strange. But not his concern! So upon ascertaining several of the swords Touta responds to Gawain's call.

     "Works with me, it's in your hands Knight of the Round!"

     And without much fuss Touta heads Gawain's way to let him examine each of the swords that Touta has, and while he does that Touta can make sure that no one tries to take any of them away.

Sir Gawain has posed:
Gawain slays the goblins, but luckily they have death insurance. He scraps the swords he has and then goes to look over the ones Touta handed over. Hmmm...

Gawain's not sure, so he goes to just toss them all into the lake, and then puts up his sword in defense. If anyone's going to get hit by coal, it should be him, being sturdy. How bad could it be?

And while he's doing that, Gawain uses his magical senses. Which group of goblins seems to have the sword? If he can find that, he'll shout out that group to the others.

Archer has posed:
     As the fakes are thrown into the lake, Archer reaches into his bag to remove several lumps of coal.

     "Knight of the Sun, you have failed Santa Saber. For that you must be punished accordingly. Now, face the might of my second Noble Phantasm! Trace On! Punishing Coal That Delivers Certain Disappointment!!!"

     Gawain would then find himself pelted with magically reinforced chunks of coal equal to the number of fakes he threw into the pond. Which was all of Touta's at least. He really doesn't care if they're blocked or not, but taking one to the flesh is probably gonna leave a temporary mark and sting a tiny bit.

Tomoe has posed:
Tomoe gets the goblins her are insured and Gil's been really good to the hired help for this tower, full Gil Healthcare coverage while on the job is fit for a King, no joke intended. Tomoe isn't going to be too mean about it and she's having fun as she fights, this might be the first real game she's had in a long time, she hums over the blade looking them over, if Liz was here they might have a chance, but even she knows fakes have power, such as her other sword is. Still, she collects them.

"Not bad boys."
D She notes to the goblins and she expects to get pelted. She'll take all three blades she picked up and tossed them in, and she'll wait for her pelting.

Touta Konoe has posed:
     Looks like they still can't find that Excalibur no matter which Goblin they smack so if that's the case...They need to try and be more observant. Was it only just the Goblins that had swords? Was there something that they might of missed. He doesn't have any magical senses or anything like that but at the very least he can say he's somewhat observant. Besides, now that he thinks of it...

     "Can anyone besides the actual King of Britain even wield the real Excalibur?" And to that remark he turns back to Santa Saber pondering that thought.

Archer has posed:
     Santa Saber stands from her throne as Tomoe throws in more fakes, a completely bored expression on her face as she reads off what can only be more canned lines.

     "You have disappointed me, adventurer. Now except you're kingly punishment... Rock of Promised Tears: Excoalibur?!"

     They aren't too sure on the last line, but regardless they begin pelting Tomoe with coal. Truly this is the harshest fail state ever.

Archer has posed:
     Santa Saber doesn't have a sword. Neither does Santam. There's also (as far as anyone can tell) no hidden swords anywhere because all the gifts under the many trees are way too small to hold Excalibur. Probably. Unless they're magic boxes but Gawain can easily tell they aren't.

     "I wouldn't have agreed to join if Archer was just here to ruse yo- I mean SANTAM. In any case, there's no deception here. One of the Goblins is holding my Excalibur."

Santa Saber clears things up for Touta who would besmirch Santam by thinking he would low enough to put everyone on a ruse cruise.

Touta Konoe has posed:
     "Hmmmm...Alright if that's the case then let's just try this then. Gawain, Tomoe, don't get too close to me!"

     Touta attempts what he did before. Except this time he's not bothering to disarm the goblins. Using Revolution he attempts to lift as many Goblins as he can off the ground and just start have them spinning around him as if they were in his orbit or something of the sort. So once they're nice and secure Touta intends to fling each and everyone one he can get into his reach into the water, sword and all. It was simple and efficient

Sir Gawain has posed:
Gawain is pelted with coal, but he's a sturdy gorilla. He tanks it, only wincing, before nodding and moving forward. Continuing to use his magic sense, he tries to find the group of swords that vaguely has Excalibur...and charge in that direction. If it's in the hands of goblins, he slashes through them to do so, striking sword against sword to get a feel for them.

"Let us find this sword, friends, and prove that we know the true Excalibur!"

Tomoe has posed:
Tomoe is pelted by unlimited coal works it could be worse, honestly she knew she was graspiong at straws here with the game but it's in good fun, honestly right? She will pary any that might hit her in the face though and finally as things settl own she looks to Touta.

"All right."

She gets back when the DPS says get clear they mean get the heck clear and she'll move to listen to that. She watches Toutah and lauighs.

"Well that's creative and right Gawain. Let's find it." She will pile on to some of the remaining goblins to get in on bringing this event to a hopefully enjoyable end.

Archer has posed:
     Touta tosses in what would seem to be the rest of the goblins into the pond, unfortunately it seems that none of them are the right sword, and he has now gained the ire of Santam.

"You are now NAUGHTY! ASCOALON!"

     Touta would find himself being pelted yet again with reinforced lumps of coal. Which just like last time proves to be not all that punishing nor embarrassing.

     There's still one goblin left though it seems. One that didn't just get blown away. One that was able to stay its ground and one that actually looks like it knows how to fight. On its chest is the number 13, and in its hand is Excalibur. The real Excalibur it seems given that there's no more goblins other than it left.

     It beats its chest and lets out a bellow as it goes to engage both Tomoe and Gawain, surprisingly matching them blow for blow. It's like some sort of super goblin, a worthy foe and probably an opponent that's gonna take at least an hour to take care of.

     Or it would, but there's the sound of a cell phone going off, and the goblin backs off to answer it.

"Uh, I'm kinda busy? But... Fine, alright. Yeah. Love you too."

     The goblin tosses the real Excalibur at the feet of Gawain, removing its armor as it prepares to leave.

     "The missus wants me to pick up some eggs and milk so uh, I gotta go. Of course you can always kill me before I leave! Awesome death insurance and all that."

     And with that, the goblin attempts to leave.

Tomoe has posed:
Tomoe looks to the lat Goblin this guy seems to know how to fight she drops into a ready stance starts popping all her tank bugs, then pauses as she hears a cell phone ring, the goblin picks it up, apparently, this guy has a wife and he has got to go. She could try to gank him but he's got to keep rep with his wife, and it is the holidays so she just steps aside glowing with the power of all her tank buffs that she now no longer needs to use she'll look to Touta and Gawain.

"Well shall we?"

This was wackly this was wild and reminded her why she liked games in the first place.

Touta Konoe has posed:
     Touta gets pelted with coal by Santa Saber. Well...At least most of his attire's already black. That said it seems like there's not much left for him except to wath as the last two, Tomoe and Gawain take up arms against the true Excalibur held by the last Goblin. Honestly it seems to be putting up a bit more of a fight than Touta was expecting until...

     "He left...?"

     That was a surprise he honestly hadn't been expecting. But I guess it doesn't matter if you're human, vampire, or a goblin. When the wife tells you to do something not even the power of the King has hold over you... Maybe? So with the sword unguarded now, he nods towards Tomoe but doesn't reach for the sword. He thinks only one person deserves to do the honors. "Gawain. Your King, your duty. Right?"

Sir Gawain has posed:
As the goblin fights, Gawain matches blow with blow. The goblin might actually get a solid hit, and then-

There's a phone call. While the goblin takes it, Gawain taps his feet, patiently waiting. When the goblin ends, Gawain nods. He does not strike the goblin. "Have a good holiday!"

And then, Gawain desummons Galatine, reaching down to grab Excalibur. He holds the blade for several seconds, looking at it, before stepping up to the lake. And then, with a careful toss...

Splash! Straight into the drink.

Archer has posed:
     Well, that wasn't suppose to happen. The goblin leaves, and Santa Saber and Santam look at each other with a dumbfounded look on their face. They return to proper form once the true Excalibur is thrown into the pond, a pile of confetti and streamers falling from the ceiling as a congratulating fanfare plays.

     Santa Saber once again stands up from their throne, looking down at Gawain with a slight smile.

     "You have done well, Sir Knight. With my sword returned I can finally take my leave to my workshop in Avalon."

     The king steps down to remove Excalibur from the pond because apparently it just doesn't magically reappear in their hands or anything fancy like that. They also remove their hat and proceed to walk back up to Santam, a hand outstretched in a somewhat demanding manner.

     "All right. I played along. The King now demands his tribute."

     As if expecting this, Santam provides some sort of gift card to Artoria, which causes their eyes to light up.

     "Don't spend it all in one place, my King."

     "This isn't enough, but it's a start. Anyway, I hope you all had fun. I have other business to attend to."

     And like that, the servant known as Saber Santa leaves, leaving only the bodies of defeated Goblins, the brave adventurers, and the mighty and benevolent Santam.

     "Congratulations are in order for clearing my trial. Now, come. Partake of Santam's bag for wonders and prizes beyond compare."

The bag of course, contains stockings, but also some candies and novelty items like novelty Christmas ornaments and snacks.

Touta Konoe has posed:
     And with the King and Santam content it appears another floor of the Tower of Santaga is passed. Plus, receiving a stocking was pleasant. More than that though it looks like everything pretty much wraps up without much issue. In fact, compared to most of the other challenges so far that involved getting shocked, or having children abducted, this was on the lighter side. Not to say Touta's complaining. In fact this was pretty peaceful. Though with that all said something just sorta rings through his mind as he starts collecting his stocking along with the others.

     Were the people who climbed this tower really getting the actual experience of Christmas. There were games and challenges and all of the sort but...How much of it besides the decorum really felt like an actual Christmas. Well, it was a thought for another time. For now, he can just smile with the others that accomplished what they needed to do and ascended to the next part of the tower.

Tomoe has posed:
Tomoe grins for a moment at the Sabre and looks to Touta, Gawain and then back to totally not Archer.

"Well this was fun." She will take her stocking along with some 0of the ornament snd the snacks. Snacks are good she muses as the loot she gets vanishes into her inventory.