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'''Explore the Dungeon 1: Froggy Knight Fever'''

Date: Saturday April 12 AU 22

Cast: Princess Bubblegum, Staren, Ainsley, Ms. Fortune, Arthur Lowell, Theo Morrison, Crys Gattz

Location: The Land of Ooo

Summary: If a tree explodes in the forest, and reveals an ancient dungeon, will adventurers come to explore it? They sure will! Brought together by Princess Bubblegum to go down and see what's going on, the intrepid band of explorers soon find a froggy mystery. Can they overcome these trials and claim their Epic Loot?


Exploding trees tend to get noticed, even somewhere as bizarre and ecclectic as the Land of Ooo. This particular forest is bigger than most, towering trees reach high up into the sky, and as the sun gradually works towards evening on the horizon, Princess Bubblegum - dressed in a white labcoat and safety goggles - finishes waving a radar-like device over the dark and foreboding stone steps which lead down into the earth. Said steps now situated in a crater some twenty foot across, still warm to the touch. 

The Princess' robot swan transport is located nearby, and she sent out the coordinates along with her general call for assistance. If people needed lifts, robot swan transportation was of course on offer, though that means they've also had twenty minutes of standing around being bored as Bubblegum takes measurements in this relatively mundane part of the Land of Ooo.

"Okay everyone, it all seems fairly safe. At least, I'm not picking up any harmful levels of radiation or any more surface-level explosives. I guess just go in and see what you can find? I'll wait outside to collect the ten per cent Adventuring Tax, and provide rescue if you need it. Okay?"

Ms. Fortune has been here for a while! And has been bored for just as long, honestly. When it seems like the Princess is -finally- letting them go in, she stands up from her resting place under a tree, stretching and yawning in a stereotypically feline way.

She's currently dressed in a trench coat! Which is completely hiding her athletically-muscular physique -and- her horrible scars. Her cat ears are visible, though.

Ainsley got here shortly before Bubblegum discerned the area was safe to enter, at least at the surface. The lizard girl gives an uncertain look at the pink-haired girl for a few moments. Ains is, in fact, a candy addict, and this princess /looks like/ bubblegum. It is quite a distracting thing for her to see, one way or another.

She snaps out of it when 'Adventuring Tax' is mentioned. She blinks once in surprise. They have to pay a tax on what they find? Lame! She frowns and crosses her arms, but makes no verbal complaints. She decides to play with the straps to the Thaumostatic Harness. She turns to start walking down the steps without another moment of hesitation, waving a hand at Bubblegum in vague confirmation that she heard what was said.

Staren arrived recently, though he hasn't had to wait long. As usual for this sort of thing, he's clad head-to-toe in white armor that looks like bulkier reploid armor since it has to be worn -- mostly rounded plates, with an armored backpack unit of some sort and an armored covering for the messenger bag at his side. He, too, is taking readings with what looks like a futuristic flipphone with round crystals set into it, with his helmet off. When Bubblegum announces she's done, he nods, not seeming surprised by the adventuring tax. She found the dungeon, it's her kingdom's land, and she's promised rescue if needed? Yeah, that sounds plenty fair.

Staren looks over the assembled group. "Haven't seen most of you in awhile... especially you!" He looks to Crys. "Good to have you back." He looks to Miss Fortune. "So, we have a rogue, and..." he points at her, probably jokingly, then turns to Arthur. "What echeladder rung are you up to, now?"

Crys Gattz was an old unionite, and she did often pop up in strange places. the Princess world had caught her intrest to be perfectly honest, so here the newman was curious to put it mildy. She was wearing basically a high tech tank top, hot pants, leggings and knee high boots. Also she sported a long glove with a strange gaunlet. A strange glowing choker and finally? There was one oddity however an eyepath of all things an eyepatch. Well that and pointed ears like an elf, she's totally not an elf however. 

"Sot his is the place, huh? This is up there with the strangest places I have been to, I must admit." 

Ms. Fortune is given a look an then looks over to Staren. 

"Never been gone, just doing thigs most people don't want to do." 

she looks to Arthur for a moment. 

"Arthur, ti's strange to see a god out dungeon crawling."

Theo doesn't actually know where the Land of Ooo is in relation to anything else. Heck, he's having a hard time keeping /anything/ straight in terms of relative position in the Multiverse. This'll probably be a persistent problem.

He doesn't ask for a robotic swan ride -- he's not in the Union, so helpful as he might sound on the radio, he could be some kind of creepy creeper what creeps. Instead, he asks for coordinates, because he wants to try something else out. Once he has them, he spends a few minutes staring at them and someone's mock-up 'Map of the Multiverse' he found online during his wanderings amidst the patchwork landscape. And then --

A spot in the air ripples with oily iridescence. It thins and tears like a sheet of wet paper, exposing a gap that leads to... somewhere else, shrouded in what looks like mist. Theo falls out of the gap, backwards, holding onto the straps of what could be a backpack and hitting the ground with a dull 'oof.' He lays there for a few seconds.

Kickotron, the short robot bird thing, hops out after him with an /actual/ backpack and considerably more grace.

"It worked!" Theo thrusts a fist into the air from his spot on the ground in clear triumph. The hole snaps shut when he does.

Arthur Lowell's arrival is with a lot of gusto; he'd arrived as he always does in a lot of places, by way of ROCKET BROOM and a lot of yelling. The broom disappearing, the boy in his casual magely outfit, a little more fitting to the locale. "MAN, yeah, RADIATION would HARSH our fuckin' DUNGEON DIVES." He doesn't seem to mind an Adventuring Tax.

Staren gets a grin and jabbed thumb up towards some imaginary echeladder. "Right up the GOD TIERS, yo, I jumped up on GALACTIC BADNESS like a fuckin' platformer fungasman. But don't WORRY, still got the MAGE shit goin',"

A look at Crys. Arthur doesn't recognize that lady! But apparently he knows about Arthur being a god. A laugh, from the boy. "HAH! AS IF. Don' worry, I'm a KNOW-NOTHIN' JERK HERO before I'm any kinda god of ANYTHIN', guy. 'Sides, gotta keep in SHAPE, yeah?"

Arthur then looks at the others, none of whom have yet descended. "SO, we ready t'GO?" A wide grin, and with swaggering, confident steps he's gonna head straight down the steps into the crater first, almost as if he knows what he's going, descending from the forest around it. You know, unless someone has objection.

Princess Bubblegum doesn't seem to mind being stared at by Ainsley. Possibly, having dealt with Union negotiations, she's used to the looks that else-worlders tend to give people like her. That is, people made of delicious, delicious candy. Besides, she's got her laser swan if things get rough, right? Can't beat a laser swan. 

"Excellent! Well then. I wish you all good luck." 

Arthur and Ainsley amble towards the dungeon entrance. The stairs down are broad enough that a pair of adventurers could walk next to each other, possibly, but it'd be a tight fit. The stone blocks spiral downwards, and it doesn't take too long for the weirdness to start. 

To begin with, there's torches attached to these walls. Wooden ones, with guttering flames and oily rags. Then there's the designs carved into the walls - frogs? They look kind of like frogs, except most of them are holding some sort of tool. Spears, pitchforks, maracas, longsword and shield in chivalric heraldry and elegantly form-fitting frog platemail...

Ms. Fortune stares at Staren for a moment or two. "Trinity, you look like somethign straight out of the ASL... Or a villain from that Annie cartoon. Either way." She laughs, before sheeding her trench coat - and throwing it behind her, possibly right at the Princess, before she dashes forward to start descending.

"My, aren't we an ecclectic bunch? A space pirate, a science cat, a Mage-god, a mage with a robot... and a pretty lizard. So who's the healer?" she chatters jovially as they head down.

Staren blinks at Nadia. "What?" At PB's well-wishing, he smiles. "Thanks, Princess! ...So, who's taking the lead?" He waves as he heads over to the entrance to look in and follow folks down. Upon seeing LIT TORCHES in a dungeon that's lain untouched for so long, he immediately scans them for magic. Also: "Frogs? Oh man, not more frog nonsense."

Theo rolls onto his side and climbs to his feet. Then, he removes the thing from his back and noisily deflates the giant back-mounted inflatable pillow. He shoves it into the actual backpack the Myr is carrying, pulling out a plastic card-box and looking around. He frowns. "Man... forests. Where's Yumi when you need her," he mutters.

He hustles to catch up, correcting, "Planeswalker! Subtle difference." Theo cracks the case open and drops his deck of cards into his hands, stashing the box. The little robot bird puts a tray table on its head in dutiful preperation while he shuffles up. "I've got... robots today. Mostly. Maybe a sub-orbital laser. Might not be the best idea to use that underground," he muses, descending the stairs behind the rest of the party.

Ainsley looks at the walls, depicting... frogs. She stares at them for a while as they descend. She looks at one of the torches briefly, and reaches out to grab one and pick it up out of the wall. Because why the hell not? It's a torch, and they're going deep into a dungeon. It's not like there isn't a dozen more of these things.

"Something may be living down here," she gathers from the lit torches, instead of any kind of mystical conclusion. "Something hidden from sight for a very long time. Maybe maintained by some sort of guardian." She shrugs her shoulders. Now that she's provided a mildly sane explanation for the torch thing, she looks over her shoulder at Staren, confusion on her face.

She has no idea about any frog nonsense.

Crys Gattz keeps herself well informed even if she's not very noticable a of late. She seems amused at Arthur after all he's a god yes but one that seems to give a shit about his creations. So that's enough for her. She looks over to Kickotron as her Mag pops out from somewhere and hovers and flies over hovering abover Kickotron while Crys follows laong with the party. AS they head in she take s a moment to ook about wonering about the makup of the place Frogs? She makes note of that. She looks at Staren and says "What's wrong with Frogs, they are kinda cute for amphibans. Torches being lit like this, are never good thing in my experiance...last time I encounted this...lets say all hell broke lose." 

With that she mvoes on after the others but does have a unpowered photon blade out at this point.

"Not a MAGE GOD." Arthur says, grinning widely and forcefully and holding up an objecting finger at Ms. Fortune. "JERK HERO. MAGE GOD is the SECONDARY CLASS." Yeah, that's a pretty transparent insecurity.

A dungeon about frogs. "FUCK." He says eloquently. "YEAH, hope it ain't THIS SHIT again." He's nodding to Staren. "If this is some awful APOCALYPSE JUMANJI shit again I'm gonna FLY OFF THE HANDLE." Mumbling under his breath but still doing the same verbal emphasis, he says, "Gonna do some GYMNASTIC TWIST off the goddamn handle, win a PRIZE or some shit." His mannerisms have become an odd, paradoxical mixture of upbeat confident positivity and resentful suspicion about the circumstances, but he continues on regardless, looking at those designs carved into the walls. Well, at least these are civilized frogs. Better than awful universe frogs. "I'm actually more worried 'bout STAIRS here." He says, honestly. "STAIRS are DANGEROUS yo." What's that about? Huh, weird. Upon noticing the stairs issue, though, Arthur has begun to float just slightly off the ground, seeming weightless, like an astronaut.

Oh hey, Crys discusses dungeons. "STANDARD DUNGEON TECH, y'know." He says, frankly. "SOME dungeons even got the DRAMATICALLY SEQUENTIAL torches installed." He continues to head down, hoping to get away from the potentially-hostile architecture quick. Where's this spiral staircase go?

Where do the stairs go? Well, that's a question which is soon answered! The stairs soon open up, and the adventurous troupe find themselves arriving in... a swamp? Its certainly fairly warm and fetid down here, and large crystals jutting out of the ground provide a kind of dim blue luminescence (and - to a certain dungeon-crawling mindset, possibilities. Surely they have to be wort something, right?) 

The roots from the trees above have driven down, crumbling the majority of the architecture around the outskirts of the large open space. There's more evidence of froggy civilization here; many of the remains of the walls have etchings similar to the stairs, and submerged in the moist ground are three large frog-shaped statues. They were probably each about ten foot tall when they weren't sunk into the mud. 

Also, there's a pit trap in the first five foot square in front of the door. The bottom is soft and squishy, and therefore fairly unpleasant.

Ms. Fortune walks along with her hands held behind her head, just being all casual and stuff. "Sheesh, kid, you got some self esteem issues there," she notes casually in Arthur's direction.

And then... pit trap! Nadia ends up falling right in, but manages to grab the edge with one hand. Her arm promptly does an amusing (and slightly gross) bungee-cord effect, as her skin splits at the scars to reveal the stretchy muscle beneath. Boing!

Dungeon torches. Does someone live here?

Staren heads down the stairs, when... Ms Fortune falls into a pit. He approaches to pull her up, but she's got it. He makes a face at that, and then jumps across. He activates a helmet light and looks around. Ugh, moist squishy ground. He's glad he's in sealed armor that can be washed off fairly easily. He scans the crystals and statues for magic, and looks for any further passages. Is this it, already? Oh, and another thing...

Staren turns to Theo. He reaches into his bag and pulls out the AU model 1911, holding it out grip-first. "Try not to aggro any walking apocalypses this time, okay?" He tries to step towards Theo -- only to find his feet stuck. "Rrgh... urgh..." with some effort, he manages to rise up enough to get on the surface, and then he activates his wings to just float over the muck, because screw that.

Ainsley listens to Arthur for a while, fascinated by the way he speaks. It's like a whole new dialect, as far as she can tell. The dialect of 'Rad Weird Jerk God People' or something. Also he says stairs are dangerous. Wha? She has no trouble with stairs, and doesn't bother wasting the battery in the Thaumostatic Harness.

They reach the bottom, she takes a step and almost falls into a pit trap -- bzzzzzt. Her electric jetpack activates, and she hovers up out of the pit before she even touches the bottom, torch still in hand, having smoothly reacted to it. She looks mildly startled, but being prepared has contributed a lot to her calm state. She looks down at Ms. Fortune uncertainly. That was... kind of grody!

"Hmm."

But she is not as disturbed as others might be. A curiosity at best, for her.

She hovers over the muck, looking for any tunnels of interest, or anything more than that. She floats up to one of the crystals, and projects a bit of electricity through one to see if it collects charge or reacts to mana in any way. If there are any interesting properties, she might try to find a piece of crystal broken from one of them, or break an already cracked crystal with the hilt of a dagger.

A pit trap!

Arthur pretends that he knew what he was doing all along when he started floating back there, and passes over the pit trap that he otherwise would have fallen down and faceplanted on it. He takes this as a good moment for a rhetorical jab back at Ms. Fortune! "HEY, I'm not the one BARIN' MY HEART here. Or at least some'a the MUSCLES." He says, before laughing briefly. Good-natured!

He stops at the edge of the pit, if anyone else has fallen in, still floating, to grab at the hand Ms. Fortune has on the edge there. "Hey, one more bounce, yeah?" He says, grinning; his intent, if the cat goes for it, is to bounce her back down so she can grab onto anyone who doesn't have any other ways of getting up; Arthur's pseudo-flight lets him adjust the tension for any loads that her bouncy muscles can take!

Arthur does not like looking at those gross bared muscles though, AUGH! Under his carefully-calculated coolkid facade, he's recoiling from even that brief glimpse he got of the skinless body.

After that happens - or maybe, doesn't happen? Depends on how many others fell! - he's gonna go back to floating along! Floating along and heading further in. If this is the outskirts, maybe more of the civilization is further in, less messed up by the tree roots. He's got other kinds of loot in mind: Tools and weapons! Stuff to alchemize.

Crys Gattz says "...you have a point prehaps." 

She seems to ease up a bit, but seriously what did she run into that this set on her on ege at first? She moves along with some sense of caution till she thinks about having to pull some gynmastic stunts. She has fun with those, a good deal of run with those. Crys is light enough on her feet this gives her a second longer to react. Her blade snap hisses to lie and she drives it into the wall catching herself and she summons another, which eshe starts to use to climb back up. 

"Pit traps, it's always pit traps at some point."

"'Apocalypse Jumanji'?" Theo echoes in slight disbelief. "...'again'?" That's even worse!

Kickotron looks up at the Mag. It stares at the other small robot, but it doesn't say anything. Perhaps robot-words are exchanged in the interim staring. Perhaps it is just wondering if it can put it back together again.

Theo is in the back of the party. This means he sees the pit trap before he has to walk into it. He stays on the stairs, frowning about the trap /and/ the muck. He does drop his deck and draw seven cards off the top, glancing over his hand. "Huh. Okay." He puts something labeled Urza's Power Plant on the tray on the Myr's head, one odd card among many. Then... "Ornithopter!"

There's a flicker of the white, misty Aether in the air, and an honest-to-god ornithopter, skeletal, leathery wings and everything, appears directly in front of him. Kickotron and Theo mount up, and glide over the pit. He looks down, spotting the scars and muscle, turning a little green around the gills.

He looks to Staren instead, reaching down and taking the proffered gun. "I totally had that under control until she didn't take a swing," he protests. Theo stashes the weapon somewhere on his person either way... and then drops another card onto the table. Kickotron is sitting in front of him just for this purpose. "Annnd... Ornithopter!"

A second one pops in. It's lacking in passengers, but seems self-propelled. Cats and Cryses could totally hitch a ride instead of wading through muck.

Ms. Fortune looks up at Arthur, with a grin. Well, one more bounce will help her get out, even if no one else was down there! So she bounces down... then digs her feet into the sides of the trap, pulls down almost to the breaking point...

And then...

BOING! Out she pops, flipping right over Arthur, flipping in the air, then... landing in the squishy swamp. Eugh.

The crystals seem to be in universally good shape. They have magic in them, which might help to explain that. Shocking one with electricity makes it glow brighter, briefly, which throws crazy shadows off the surroundings, but it doesn't make them any more interesting. If a dagger is used to try and carve a piece off a whole crystal, it'll find it surprisingly easy to do. There'll be some splintering of course, but the crystals are slightly warm to the touch and do project a low luminscence - though that will go down over time as it expends whatever energy it has absorbed. 

And then, quite suddenly, tongues! 

The slimy pink appendages come shooting out of the swamp, to try and snare those people who are flying. Most notably, two tongues aim to latch onto Staren, two more onto Ainsley... and a full four each aim to attach to each ornithopter wing. The tongues are each way too big to be those of normal frogs... in fact, they're more like what one would imagine a person-sized frog might be packing in rubbery lips!

Staren is taking a closer look at the crystals when SUDDENLY, TONGUES. They're latching onto his body! Staren doesn't even have time to analyze what they are actually -- his mind mentally identifies 'sticky, pink tentacles trying to grab me' and reflexively he activates his beam sabers and tries to cut them off! If that's as easy as it sounds, then he looks for the source before flying over to help cut allies free. If the tonmgues aren't easily cut, though, he may need to get out some heavier artillery...

Crys Gattz sees she's got a way out, so she hitches a ride on the second thing that Theo summoned. She'll have to thank him later, as she hitche a ride up away she goes. The comes the frogs, well falz spawn. This isn't good and now she's trying to not end up a smack. On the other hand she's not in a good spot to use any of her powersor weapons right now...

SPLAT.

Ainsley had pocketed the crystal chunk, for later souveneir purposes, and another chunk for Bubblegum because Adventurer Tax, when she was assailed by something outside of her periphery that hit her in the side of the face, and then a few more of them narrowly missed her. It is a frog tongue. It is sticky, wet, and GROSS.

She squeals like a little girl, reaches to grab the tongue, reversing direction to tug at it, while simultaneously using her grip on the slimy appendage to apply absurd amounts of nonlethal electrical magic... which would course down into the marsh below as well, and make life Exceedingly Unpleasant for anyone who is still in the muck. There may even be friendly fire! But she's distinctly trying to avoid doing that, she's a good enough electric mage to manage directing a current through liquid by now.

*pak pak pak pak*

Theo looks down.

"What... are you serious?!" The tongues have neatly attached to the ornithopter wings. Lacking in propulsion, the big, mechanical definitely-not-flies start to fall. Theo reacts by freaking out mid-draw, kicking at the nearest tongue awkwardly from his perch atop the conveyance. He slaps down the card he just drew and a second besides while he does it, now laying horizontally across the vehicle as it struggles to stay in the air.

"Myr Servitor!" A grey-white flicker, and there's a second thing, identical to Kickotron, except without the extra luggage. Theo promptly shoves it off the Ornithopter. It rolls onto the tongue and down towards the muck, the three-foot bird-robot plummeting towards what is likely its untimely demise. It doesn't seem to mind. "Little help?!"

Arthur is already a bit on edge from the gorey display and now he's seeing AWFUL, GROSS TONGUES! "Fuckin' hell!" He exclaims. A weapon has suddenly appeared in his hand, as if from nowhere, blinking into existence, a bright white broom with intense industrial aesthetics. The metal bristles are suddenly whirling around like a blender!

"'EY! FUCK OFF, NO FOOD HERE!" He calls out, slamming the big metal broom into one of the encroaching tongues - Ainsley's electrifying hers, so no go there, Staren's working on the cutting angle already, so he goes for the ones hassling Crys and Theo - and just tries to blend the sets of them in a grossed out panicky sort of way. It's not even the cool, heroic yelling kind of way! He hasn't seen a full monster yet, he can't get that started.

Looks like the tongues are being handles! So Ms. Fortune just... helpfully goes off in search of their owners. Into the muck she goes! She's not particularly worried about getting dirty, even though she's barely wearing anything.

She removes her tail, holds it rigid, and then does some exploratory poking.

At least these tongues don't seem very tough. Staren's sword cuts through them easily enough, and Ainsley's high-voltage solution to the problem seems to have the desired effect. Squat, fat frog-people float up to the surface of the swampy terrain after the electricity arcs into them, whilst the cut tongues flick backwards into the mire - presumably to the chastened mouths of their occupants. 

Really, its just poor Theo who isn't having a good time of it. His ornithopter struggles against the tongues, and his kicking doesn't seem to have much effect at all! The bird robot disappears into the mud with a 'bloop', and there's crunching sounds. Then a belch, and fragments of birdbot bubble up to the surface.

Arthur's frantic blending/brooming (blooming?) is more successful, dislodging a pair of the tongues. Ms. Fortune's poking nets her a frogman all her very own, who introduces himself by trying to eat said tail. Most of the tongues seem to have been fended off by now, though, and those frogs whose tongues have been injured seem to be hopping a hasty retreat, croaking malevolently as they do.

Note to self: frogs eat Myr. And Ornithopters. And... anything they can get, apparently.

Theo does not intend to be 'got.' His Ornithopter flounders, wing-tip scraping the surface of the muck before Arthur brooms the /crap/ out of them. It takes back to the air rocking dangerously. Theo throws himself over the top of Kickotron and the tray, keeping his stack of cards from falling off. He is in a really awkward position. Crys is going to have to deal with the others; he's got nothin'.

Well, he /does/ have altitude. He looks over the side, raising a hand. He sounds a little shaken up, likely largely physically. "Uh... thanks," he calls down to Arthur. He looks around. "Is that all of them?"
And as quickly as it began, it seems to be over. Staren cut away the tongues, and others seem to be handling them, except for Theo. Who Arthur has taken care off, and Miss Fortune is... using her tail to fish for frogs or something? She catches one while the rest flee, so Staren flits over there. "Hey! Can you understand us? What is this place?"

massive frogs with huge tongues, this is not sort of thing sh consiers to be fun. She's been in worse situation but this is not fun, not fun at all. With a bit of help from the other and he's got a chance to get in a bit of a better situation now. She's now able to bring her powers to bear and she does so. She rises one hand but sees that thigns are settling a bit she launches some waves of freezing cold to keep the creatures back. 

"BARTA!"

Ainsley has calmed down after that scare, and no longer has a frog tongue on her face. She does have frog drool on her face, though. She takes a rag from her pocket to clean it off, only vaguely aware of the fleeing frogs. She starts to buzz around the expansive room, looking for alternative exits, or simply anything odd besides marsh, crystals, and the ceiling above her. The torch is still held in her off hand as she moves, held up to illuminate here and there.

"Maybe this is just where they live," she murmurs, and then her brow furrows. "What are they eating, then...?" Ugh. She recalls that these things don't always make complete sense, as she is from a world where the reason for a lot of things being weird is 'Magic.'

She busies herself with her task, because everyone else is busy with diplomacy and recovering from a sudden frog attack.

The freezing cold helps dissuade the frogs from returning as they flee, and Ms. Fortune successfully dislodges her tail from the frog's mouth. When Staren approaches, the frog had juuust been starting to turn away from him, and he asks his perfectly reasonable question. 

"HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!" 

The frog rounds on him momentarily, tongue flicking out madly in the air, and then that frog too - which just made a decidedly unfroggy noise - leaps away into the murky swamp. 

Ainsley's flitting about does bear some fruit, though. At the far end of the large expanse of swamp there's a more intact wall, and a pallisade! Standing before that there's a person-sized frog in shiny steel armor, leaning casually on his sword. The plate armor is quite complete, and the visor is down, but, from the shape of the helmet and the bow in those legs... yup, that's a frog knight alright.

Well that's different.

Ainsley finds a nice place to land, or at least hover, and regards the frog knight with surprise and cheerfulness. Because SURELY a being dressed in full plate armor will be considerably less hostile than a bunch of ruffians in the middle of a bog, right? Right?

"Hello," she speaks up at him, "My name is Ainsley, and we are, my friends and I, exploring what I presume is the underground realm of your... ruler? King, perhaps? People, or tribe? Could we be given time to speak to someone of importance?" She makes sure to keep mana charged in her fingertips on the off chance he tries to lop her limbs off with his weapon, because those other guys were assholes, or maybe half-feral.

"I apologize for any trouble this may cause, Sir." He looks like a knight! Gotta treat him like one.

Hissing frogs, what. "Yeah, well, same to you buddy..." Staren mutters, and on they go... to be confronted by the FROG KNIGHT. Staren looks over the palisade, while waiting to see how the KNIGHT reacts to DIPLOMACY.

Ms. Fortune hisses right on back. And hers has the feral edge of a mamalian predator to it, to boot. Screw those frogs.

And then there's a -frog knight-. Ms. Fortune suddenly looks a little uneasy, for some reason.

Theo and his MARVELOUS FLYING MOUNT (read: muddy flappy machine) moves across the stretch of swamp. He draws, drops a land, and taps some of them on the way over. "I guess you never know when you're gonna need a robot army," he murmurs. "Golem Foundry!" Fwip.

There's a quiet bubbling in the muck, and a metal construction rises out of it. It looks kind of like a metal vat, taller than a man and thick-sided, with forges glowing with hot metal flanking it. The muck sloughs off of it as it settles above it. It isn't really doing much of anything else.

Theo lets Ainsley do the talking. She's good at being polite with just about anyone, and stabbing the crap out of people who aren't polite back.

Crys Gattz sees the frogs are backing off she lets the go as there's other things to worry abotu she powers down her weapons now and seems to be in a decent enough of a mood as she moves to catch up. She notices that she finds something, ot is it someone. 

"A frog Knight?" 

She stares for a moment at it but moves to swap weapons the blades vanish and a pair of gauntles appear, but hte claws do nto flare to life as she closes in. She'll let Ainsley do the talking, Crys is muscle and has long since accepted that fact.

Arthur seems pretty relieved that the damn frogs deciding to disengage. So now the broom's away and he's back to his casual cool-bro behaviors! Smooth, Arthur, definitely nobody noticed the freakout there. Arthur's heading towards what Ainsley discovered now, the more intact bits. The others are gonna handle the diplomatizing, or maybe dealing with his mad knightly efforts. ARTHUR, on the other hand, is gonna quickly drift over the muck and peek his head up and over the palisade, to see what's behind it. Is there anything more intact down here? He hopes so! Maybe that's what's being guarded by that knight felow.

The Frog Knight straightens up as Ainsley approaches, and waves one hand to shush her until the others have mostly arrived. He's really kind of rude, but at least the sword stays pointing at the floor rather than at the adventurers. It is only when he's sure everyone can hear him that he deigns to answer Ainsley's questions. 

"My people are long since passed. All that remains now is to find a worthy successor to whom we shall pass on our wealth and our wisdom. You have all passed the Trial of the Moderately Difficult Jump, and the Trial of the Groddy Tongues, now, you face your final test, OH MIGHTY HEROES!" 

Waving the sword above his head suddenly, brilliant light streams from the crystals about the cavern, reflecting in the shiny metal and illuminating the whole place in twirling, dancing swirls of light as... pounding music starts to play?! Frogs emerge out of the swamp wielding trumpets with funky intent! 

"Prove that you... can DANCE WITH THE FROG IN YOUR HEART!" 

From his vantage point, Arthur can at least see that the prize on offer is worth the bizarre competition. There's piles upon piles of golden coins locked behind a hefty-looking metal cage, clustered around a HUGE golden frog statue. The frog statue is wearing a top-hat and is in mid-cane twirl.

Ms. Fortune stares at the Frog Knight for a moment or two. And then she just kinda... turns and walks off to climb up the palisade and peer over it as well. Quite close to Arthur, in fact. "Dancing? Sheesh. Do dungeons always end up this way, kid? This can't be normal."

Ainsley hesitates when shushed. She isn't offended, just confused, but realizes he's doing it so everyone gets the DRAMATIC PORTRAYAL he's putting down. She can appreciate that, smiling gently at the sight. A final test, huh? She waits for something amazing with wide eyes--

Light shines, music plays, and her smile droops to a look of horror. Oh no this is going to be /terribly embarrassing/. She cracks her mouth open momentarily... and closes it. She finds a place to land, a solid bit of stone near the pallisade that is bound to be there. She shrugs her shoulders, and then, using the lightweight steps her Harness can supply, she begins to... disco dance. With a lot of energy. While her face is beet red. Who would've thought a lizard could dance, /or/ blush like that?

She wants to appease the only frog in here with a sword and armor who is designated to be a guardian for treasure that has somehow been untouched over ages. She has a feeling he'd seriously harm her if she attempted to bruteforce through this.

Staren flies over to the knight to see what's up. He sweatdrops a bit as the challenges are listed. So will third be a DUEL TO THE

Oh wait no it's's not a duel at all.

Staren stares at the frogs. Wat.

After a moment or so, once Ainsley starts, he shrugs and joins in! It could be fun. It's not like they won't see plenty more ridiculous things! He lands across from Ainsley, starting with a sort of variant of the Monkey that includes some butt-shaking. Then he matches her disco moves. Then he backs up slightly and leans forward, swinging arms and feet in wide arcs. Then he pulls out his staff and leans back, dancing back and pumping the staff up and down, then twirling it, then throwoops it slipped out of his hand. He TKs it back to his hand, catches it, spins around, and points dramatically at the frog knight.

Crys Gattz looks at the Frog Knight as he speaks. she listens now for a moment and she tilts her head for a moment as he speaks. This was a test? A strange one but there seems to be no malice behind it. She can get not wanting to leave your stuff to any one idiot, putting a bit of bar as it were was a good idea. 

"Dance?" 

Crys actually grins at this, she now starts to dance and banishes her weapons she will trust that the Knight is being on the level. She's a bit jaded but not /that/ much. So she dances away the sort of thing you would see in a dance club really. She's not one for formal waltzes and such but she's certainly enjoying herself on this.

Theo squints from his lofty perch. Did it just say 'dance with the frog in your heart'?

"...yeah okay why not." He descends, pulling himself free of the Ornithopter. He stands on one of the most flat pieces of big ol' crystal he can find, looking at his hand. Theo pulls something out, putting it on Kickotron's tray. "Staff of Nin." He holds out a hand, and a metallic staff appears in his grasp, topped with a spidery head surrounding a gleaming red stone.

Theo takes a second to compose himself. Frog in his heart. Well, if Ainsley and Staren are getting into it, he can too. He reaches a hand out, and Kickotron hands him something fished out of his pack. It looks like a baseball cap.

Theo does his best Michigan J. Frog impression. He does not disco, but he /has/ seen this. Michigan J. Frog being classy is the closest thing he's found so far to a /Multiversal constant/.

A cane, twirling! Funky music! Arthur knows what this is, and, like any coolkid faced with the option of FANTASTICAL PRIZES, he just goes with the flow.

With swift, intense, and wholly confident motions, Arthur immediately zips away from the wall, and then across and in front of the group. He's dealt with frogs before, and he'll do it again!

Darting back and forth with broad, powerful, wide gestures, Arthur's broom now exhibits its rocket-powered properties, literally blasting Arthur back and forth in an intensely theatrical way. Arthur has decided that, instead of getting embarrased by it, he's going to take the challenge, throttle it violently, and practically challenge the manhood of anyone who would ever assume his dance moves are inadequate in any way.

It is a little ridiculous, but at least intentionally. Kind of musical-inspired, very theatrical, full of a lot of energy, interspersed with rocket broomtwirls and things like that.

"Yes! Yes! That's it...!" 

The light and music pick up in intensity, literally shaking the walls of the 'dungeon' as it shudders under the powerful passion put on display. Sure, some of the dancers might be less than enthusiastic... but some of the others are really getting into it! 

The sword is almost blinding as it floats out of the Frog Knight's hands, and the guardian falls to his knees. The visor on his helmet flicks up to reveal tearful eyes, and a smile of pure ecstacy. "At last, my vow is done. The oath... IS FULFIIIIIILLED!" 

And as quickly as it had all begun, the sound stops. The armor clatters to pieces all about the place, and the locked gate swings open to allow the heroes access to the treasure within. The sword embeds itself into the ground directly in front of Ainsley, shimmering with Funky Intent. 

Now that the group have free access to loot the treasure, there's plenty of *other* swords in the loot, too. And pitchforks. And maracas, for some reason. But only that one noble sword retains the glimmer of magic.

Ms. Fortune sighs with genuine relief. "Oh thank goodness it wasn't an 'everyone has to dance' situation." She even puts one hand to her heart and everything. Then she drops back down to ground level, reaches into one of her pouches... and produces a rather large fold-out bag. It has 'swag' written on one side and a dollar sign on the other.

She came prepared.

Crys Gattz watches as the Knight finally ginds his rest and smiles a little bit. She plans to put whatever cut she gets to good use. She actually doesn't plan to blow it on her normal party binges, not this wouldn't feel right she is perpared given she's got a photon trap it's time to start to collec this. 

"I wonder if there's any hisotrian sorts who'd be intereste in some of this?"

Theo plants his staff and tosses the hat back to Kickotron a moment after the music stops. He looks over at the pile of loot, and the Sword of Froggy Funk. That is aaaall Ainsley's. "Nice moves," he remarks, heading over to the Loot Pile.

"So, uh... how do we divvy up the loot?" Theo asks. "Does someone have some kind of loot calculator? Sweep it over, divide it into shares? Minus the ten percent tax," he adds, a little begrudgingly. He looks over the collected weapon (the swords, mostly; more portable than a pitchfork) with a fair bit of interest. Not as much as the gold, sure, but he could always use a wider non-card arsenal.

The music stops. The Frog Knight has had his oath fulfilled, and disappears in a clatter of armor. And it leaves an air of confusion around the prospective diplomat.

She stares down at the Sword of Funk before her. She puts a hand up to her snout uncertainly. Okay, so that just happened. She has just gotten the blush out of her face when she reaches to grab the sword by the hilt. She can feel THE FUNK vibrate through her being as she lifts the sword high above her head. It releases a SHIMMERING ARRAY OF DISCO LIGHTS, and she is compelled to shout something.

"YOUR FUNKY DISCO SKILLS WILL LIVE ON, FROG KNIGHT!!"

A funky musical beat complements her words, punctuating the moment nicely.

She lowers the sword to her side unceremoniously, and pretends she didn't just do that, as she scurries over to help with the loot.


When Ms. Fortune gets out her swag bag, a cute little snail was already inside. It is now making a determined bid for swampy freedom. Freedooooooooom.


Nadia stares at the snail.

And then shrugs, and goes about filling the swag bag with loot. GLORIOUS LOOT.

Staren stops dancing with the sound to look at the clattering armor. And then he gives the sword a look, and shrugs at it -- then he gives the other dancers a thumbs-up. He heads for the loot, stopping to look at Ainsley at her declaration, and having a sudden urge to remix it into a techno song of some sort. For now though, he heads to the loot pile. "Probably could have a machine sort it out, at least the coins. Not sure how to value the other stuff, though..." He pulls a regular bag out of his magic bag and starts filling it with coins (So that he can draw 'bag of coins' out of the magic bag later. Drawing 'gold coin' out of the bag a jillion times would be a pain >:| )


"I guess I'll use mine, then." Theo puts his cards away. He does not appear to notice the presence or absence of a tiny snail.

Instead, he summons in three more Myr Servitors. Kickotron moves over with them. Theo points at the pile. "Equal shares, minus ten percent," he instructs. "Make sure you count hers, too?" He jerks his head at Ms. Fortune.

The little bird robots go into the hoard and start dividing it, and quickly. They do so silently and fairly, but they leave the non-coinage alone. They seem particularly intrigued by the maracas, insofar as a silent, expressionless bird robot can be intrigued by anything.


"YO LIZ GAL, lemme get a CAPTCHAROID o'dat shit." Arthur says, coming down from his INTENSE DANCE HIGH. He's actually having to catch his breath a bit! In his hands is an odd digital camera thing, hard-edged with a lot of green trim. He's taking pictures! He's taking pictures of literally all the loot that anyone will let him get a moment to take a picture of. He's more interested in /that/ than in actually looting. But if none of the objects here have "COMPLETE RESISTANCE TO REPLICATION" as a property, that's enough for him!

He takes a couple of maracas, grabs a sword or two, and a share of the gold. Arthur is an odd case; instead of actually grabbing them and putting them anywhere, they just seem to... Blip away, into nothingness! They're sent into his card-based inventory! Useful.

His inventory structure is as visible as ever: http://puu.sh/86q1A/1c882a3169.png

Unfortunately that means he's not getting that sword out from under his glasses.

The looting carries on for a few minutes, and then the 'ceiling' begins to glow. A few seconds later, glorious daylight streams into the dungeon cavern as Princess Bubblegum on the back of her flying robot swan swoops down. The swan's mouth had been belching lasers to melt a way down to the cavern, but it stops pretty quick as she homes in on the party and their looting ways. 

"Oh thank goodness, you're all okay." She says, "I detected some DANGEROUSLY groovy jams pumping from this location." 

She pauses, and looks around the rather swampy location. "Well, looks like all that's left to do is take everything that isn't nailed down. Good job guys!~"