View source for Who Are You? (Janine Liberi)

{{Cutscene Header
|Date of Scene=2016/03/28
|Location=Alberichstadt
|Synopsis=Janine ruminates after a late-night discussion on the broadband
|Thanks=To everyone who was there for the discussion
|Cast of Characters=909
}}
Sleep crept up on Janine like a spectre, invisible in the hand mirror she was peering into by the light of a bedside lamp. That loud guy said that she should get to know herself. And while it sounded like the vaguest pile of self-help schlock possible, she had a few seconds to kill before passing out.


Everyone she really knew well always talked about high school like a transition period. Where you go to become a full-fledged human being. So the idea of thinking on whom she ways at this point of her life seemed pointless. She would be totally different by the end anyway, right? But... well, with death a constant possibility? May as well be now, before not at all.


She stares at herself. And only sees what she had planned to be. Olympic superstar, enough gold around her neck to gild a house. But, physical athleticism could only last so long. After becoming rich through sponsorships, she would have to hang up her sabre someday. Settle down, meet a nice guy, have a couple kids. Mama always said Janine would know the pains she went through one day.


But now?


No gold for her. No such thing as a fencing league for those with one arm. Bad legs, sure. No December weddings either, who would want a bitchy cripple? DEFINATELY no kids, not when her condition was genetic.


No future. Not when she could die at any moment, from sickness or Shadow.


So there was only now. Who is she now? Someone who stirs up shit in person and over radio. But was that her? Mostly it was because she was hurting, and she wanted to spread the hurt as a distraction. Was she defined by her sickness? A part of her says no, she shouldn't be. Another says that she's done a good job of making that so, but she ignores it, as she has before.


Her eyes narrow, looking deeper.


Someone who doesn't care? That can't really be the case either. If she didn't care about anything, why was she so careful about not mentioning her family over the radio? She must care about them, right? And they her... right? Even though none were here?


Deeper still, and before exhaustion claimed her, a revelation.


All these vagaries and disjointed musings. They were the closest thing she had to a self. Fractured remnants of a girl whose life was upturned by genetic chance. But really, the mirror might as well be empty.


And with that, her one good arm went limp, Janine falling into dreams slightly more troubled than usual.