Difference between revisions of "Sieving for Clarity (Psyber)"

Revision as of 05:38, 9 March 2015

"Then the Warrior realizes that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn." -Paul Coelho, Warrior of Light

BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yyy4yaVwsv0

A lock clicks into a door in the Arkham Apartment Psyber and Amalthea cosigned on months back. The half-angel shuffles in with a brown bag full of groceries. Not much, enough to last two or three days at the most. Keep his head low, clear his mind, and start fixing messes.

The contents of the bag placed in the fridge, Psyber steps away and towards the deck that faces the water. He stepped out onto it and rested his hands on the railing. For the first time in days, maybe weeks, he had enough downtime to shut his eyes and start organizing the events that were plaguing him most. Conversations darted through his mind and started to pull into cohesivity.

PHONE: Himei says, "I just realized." PHONE: Phoning Himei, Psyber says, "What did you just realize?" PHONE: Himei says, "In both that nightmare and the real world, Elliana is someone trying to do good and, by her personal meter, failing."

Himei's was the first voice. So often she provided insight Psyber never would see, and the dreams had been her idea in the first place. Himei was an anchor for him in some ways, consulting her for advice in relation to his problems, giving him minor guidance, telling him when he was stepping too far. He took a deep breath and Himei's voice drifted out, replaced by another.

PHONE: Eleanor Lamb says, "...Evil is just a word sir." PHONE: Eleanor Lamb says, "It is always just a word."

Eleanor. He had talked to her the day after Himei. She was new to Elliana's mission roster, but strong in presence. Despite this, no one could deny her insight into Elliana in a way few could mirror. Hers was a voice of mirroring. She could, potentially, reach Elliana in ways even Psyber could not. Or help Psyber find angles he had missed before. He slowly opens his eyes and takes out a cigarette. Eyes watch the dancing flame of his lighter and his mind wanders.

PHONE: Kimiko Shinobu says, "I have hope that you will be successful, if anyone can be. Not certainty, but hope. You can trust me to support you in that until Miss Fairchild proves otherwise."

Of all the support he had gained in recent weeks, none surprised him more than Kimiko Shinobu. Not because he thought she would be impossible to sway, but because she was impossible for him to truly read. He had thought her utterly indifferent, or if anything leaning against Elliana. When she had stated she would have hope in him, it had rung a bell that woke him up from a haze that had pushed him into being almost on auto-pilot. Psyber exhaled a plume of smoke and watched it drift out away from the balcony.

PHONE: Phoning Amalthea, Psyber says, "While I do not disagree, I have thrown everything I have into my work, much of it into this singular cause of saving one woman. I do not get a second chance, either I save her and she comes back, or I do not and she crosses the threshold. In that moment, my efforts will be judged. I am beginning to doubt that I am enough." PHONE: Amalthea says, "I know you have. I'm not blind to how this has all been tearing my closest friends apart at the seams." PHONE: Amalthea says, "But you're not alone."

Amalthea. Despite her diminutive size and feminine gender, she was a brother rather than a sister to him in all but blood. She had been one of the most recent to voice her support of him. Not agreement, but support. And it had come when he needed it most: On the back of his best friend deceiving all of them. The thought of betrayal makes a new voice come to mind...

PHONE: Mordred says, "We're stuffing as much of its energy in a box as we can. You want my master not to keep having nightmares, right?"

He turns away from the balcony, tossing the rest of the cigarette off the edge. The Knight of Betrayal had been more loyal to the plan than his own General. While Nathan argued his need to keep everyone in the dark about an alternate methodology, Mordred had done almost the same thing and had been cried traitor for it by the same man that deceived them all. Mordred had many flaws, but to Psyber, dedication to helping Elliana and her world had never been one of them.

-<RADIO: HeavenOrHellAlternate>- Psyber says, "Then just let go of the hatred." -<RADIO: HeavenOrHellAlternate>- Nathan Hall says, "Unlike what you may think, angel, it is not that simple for humans."

A blow Nathan had struck in his jaw, so to speak, comes to Psyber's mind as he washes his face and looks at himself in a mirror, the wounds from that night already mostly healed to allow him to fight another day. That his own friend would say such a thing shook Psyber on many levels. It was a two-line exchange that had been delivered once before by Nathan and had made him doubt his own humanity. This time, it merely made him doubt Nathan.

PHONE: Elliana Fairchild says, "One of the harsh lessons I had to learn is that sometimes, you need to make a leap of faith and hear out someone to work out a misunderstanding."

As he climbed under the sheets of the bed, Psyber heaved a heavy sigh and the line from Elliana earlier in that day came to him. That the 'monster' Nathan fought would be more willing to seek clarity in narrative than the librarian was telling of how far he felt Nathan had degraded. He was growing harder to deal with by the day, and his hatred was beginning to blind him.

-<RADIO: HeavenOrHellAlternate>- Psyber says, "After so much of your life has been built around and upon Elliana. How much would you lose if that simply vanished?"

This was his second-to-last thought of the night. He pulled the covers up around himself and curled a bit. Without Laine here, the nightmares would be worse tonight, but at least he had peace and quiet. Mostly. One thought echoed in his head, still. It was growing louder every day, but it was only in the stillness that he could finally understand it.

Quietly, he murmurs:

"I may have to destroy everything my best friend has built in order to save him."