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Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/51 Posted Author Christmas of Doom - Confed (2) Thu Dec 06 Lotor

To Genghis Rex receives a suit of armor. The design is based heavily on that of a Mongul Warlord, but is sized perfectly for him, complete with tail armor. It comes with an elegant armor stand and is both beautiful and threatening, specially with Rex's blood red skin tone mixed with its dark black metal scale armor and a crowning helm complete with noseguard with a long tassel down the back. With it is included the full biography of Genghis Khan. Lotor includes a note, 'Mammals have their uses.'

To Goro, to the Shokan Prince, Lotor gifts an elegant and gigantic greatsword that even Goro would have to weild in two hands. The hilt is the fanged, horned skull insignia of Planet Doom, with glowing red eyes that flare when the sword tastes blood. The weapon itself is durasteel, and sharpened to a molecular level. It is, however, more a symbol as well. It comes with an ornate stand into which is worked 'In honor of Shokan, a token between the Supremacy of Doom and the Shokan Empire. As I, Prince Lotor of Planet Doom, do hereby pledge friendship and good will between Drule and Shokan. Let our races fight side by side for the conquest of the Multiverse.'

To Sanah, a Tanto with a dark wooden sheath and hilt, forged of durasteel. It is worked with a designs of all of her pokemon into the wood.

To Slime, a few hundred gp to add to his loot, in hopes he might evolve into a Metal Slime.

To the Trix, hand jewelry both ornate and beautiful, each themed for the recipient. A linked bracelet and rings with chains between, they have gemstones mounted that are perfect for containing spells. Each to their individual color scheme and matching perfectly.

To Raifuru, a note from a prominent Russian Dog Breeder which reads 'Upon return of this receipt, One (1) Siberian Husky puppy is owed the bearer of this receipt'. Includes full directions to the Dog Farm. Lotor's note reads, 'To let you pick out the one you want.'

To Crush, a RoBeast Polar Bear, without any size engines or any weaponry beyond the fact it is a bear and a cyborg to boot. One eye is red and surrounded with a metal plate, eye projecting a red laser that shows the Russian symbol. Completely programmed for both loyalty to Crush and to serve as a mount in combat. It can fly.

To Tesla, a small RoBeast Armadillo. It has no combat capabilities, enlargement engine, or weaponry. It is basically a tiny version of Lotor's own giant Armorbeast that is part of RoBeast Voltron otherwise. Its small and affectionate, and follows by rolling and bouncing along in its ball form. Responds to 'Snuffles'.

To Cell, a permanent invitation to fight in the gladiatorial arenas of Lotor's Doom Citadel. RoBeasts of numerous types and qualities are available for one on one combat, as well as slaves and captives of various quality. Perfect for training.

To Achryn, a new royal circlet, wrought of dark gold. White gemstones inset in the front augment the dark metal of the circlet beautifully.

To Lance Benson, a year long membership card for an all you can eat steakhouse, a nearly indestructible labcoat and goggles, and a certification of sanity from the Doom Empire. Signed by Lotor. 'Proof.'

To Allan Bodily, an actual medal of service from the Doom Empire in recognition for being 'A Glorious Lackey'.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/52 Posted Author Christmas of Doom - Union Thu Dec 06 Lotor

To Yuna Kagurazaka, a large birdcage of elegant gold and silver. It is filled with twittering, beautiful songbirds from a miriad of worlds. 'My gift from the heart. Enjoy them. I would have.'

To Winry, an injured German Shepard puppy rescued from a war-torn section of the multiverse. Its missing one of its front legs but is generally bright and happy and adorable. 'I knew exactly who to send it to, and who will help it the most.'

To Ash, a picture of Giselle in her Valkyrie Otome outfit.

To Grimlock, a mannequin of Lotor, smirking.

To Optimus Prime, energon mouthwash.

To Raditz, a simple box, with a note inside. The note is personal.

To Fluttershy, a Harem Dress. Designed for a pony. Made of sleek, pale sky blue colored silk. A note that reads; 'I've not forgotten'.

To Charr, a black silk harem guard's outfit. Vest and billowing pants. A large axe-like weapon that is more an executioner's cleaver mounted on a long wooden staff. 'For your future job as a eunuch.'

To Bloom, an elegantly forged rapier, with a distinct dragon and flame motif. 'Tell Sky to train you to fight with more then your magic. My lazy former student needs a workout. My regards to everyone.'

To Arika, christmas wishes for her and her family, as well as a plush ant that looks at her with big googly eyes with antennae that stick out just so.

To Yunomi, a magical girl fuku.

To the Lady Elites in Service of the Union who are either newly joined in the last few years, returned to active service, or haven't received one or publicly destroyed the last one, a Harem Dress. Each made of silk more or less suited to their color style, fitting even cybertronian ladies and others with unique body types. This includes the rest of the Mane Six. The silk, when analyzed, is pure spider silk. Each of them are very well made and while not blatant they are still harem outfits, complete with veils and diaphanous, see-through silk sleeves.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/53 Posted Author short and sweet Thu Dec 06 Tony Stark

Tony Stark is a generous but rather impersonal gifter, likely a necessity given the vast number of people in his social sphere.

All Stark Industries employees — this includes Unioners who have contracted or interned for the company — receive, as every year, a tasteful card containing a bonus check in an amount equivalent to two weeks' pay.

All Union Elites receive a different card (if they overlap with the SI group, they receive both) that is slightly less tasteful — in that the artwork, rather than being traditionally Christmassy, is instead a stylized depiction of Iron Man wearing a Santa hat and fighting Hitler at the North Pole — and contains, in addition to wishes for a happy holiday season, a note stating that Mr. Stark has donated the entirety of his Union pay for the year, plus a not-insignificant amount from his own pocket, to a charity benefiting the Children of Annu, in the Union's collective name.

Any other more specific gifts that Tony has to give, it seems, will be delivered in a more personal manner, and probably not until the day itself.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/54 Posted Author Presents, First Round Thu Dec 06 Lance Benson

Lance isn't the best at gift giving, but he's made his try.

Serori: Bright white antlers, mounted on a black-painted plaque. 'A souveneir to one reason I haven't snapped yet. Thank you for all of your comfort and patience. ~ Lance'

Lotor: A tremendous jar delivered to him, filled with jellyfish-like creatures that shimmer and glow, with several tiers representing various ocean ecosystems. 'Please refer to the guide for feeding and translation. ~ Doctor Benson'

Beli Yo'il: A small blue kitten doll with a halo and angel wings. It mewls cutely when squeezed. 'Being different can be scary. But sometimes it's what makes you special. ~ Lance'

Bradley Carbunkle: The Beginner's Guide to Human-Robot Relationships; it's actually fairly informative, and simple enough.

Nine: A pushtoy machete with fake blood art. 'People give you responsibility because you're important to them. Please try to lighten up a bit, my murder-capable friend. ~ Lance'

Adelyn Lysen: A beetle made of crystallized mana. 'I found this a week or two ago. They're fairly common and easy to feed. Don't over feed them, though, they reproduce when they are overfed. ~ Doctor Benson'

GLaDOS: A computer tablet locked to a certain frequency. It seems to only accept video input from an accompanying camera, of which didn't come with the gift. The card explains it. 'Please hold on to this. You once gave me a bit of advice a few months ago, and it would be great for you to see it come to fruition. Harold is still an asshole. I'll make it clear when to look at the tablet. ~ Doctor Benson'

Lucy Scarlet: A simple card. 'I haven't forgotten about you. ~ Doctor Benson'

Comrade Crush: NOTHING. At least, he didn't buy anything. Instead, Crush would receive a few Dire Wolf specimens, in case he needs something more terrifying to throw at people. And a note saying, 'Even if it's a capitalist pig holiday these days, I'm sure you still appreciate a gift from a friend if they use their own effort to catch it. They won't be viable for my training, though. Catching them made them too afraid of me. They should still be viable for training against others. ~ Doctor Benson'

Almera: A peace lily. 'Peace lilies represent peace, tranquility, prosperity, and solitude. I don't want to be your enemy. I hope you will come to understand that. ~ Doctor Benson'

Richard Stadler: A file containing all of Lance's research on the Threem. At least the stuff regarding field research, such as his own ability to conceal himself from them. 'This might just be a duplicate of research already available to you, but I thought it would be a good gesture to make it clear where my priorities are. ~ Doctor Benson'

(This is just the first round of gifts. As I think of more, I'll make more posts.)

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/55 Posted Author MORTAL KHRISTMAS! Thu Dec 06 Goro

Number Nine: Two barrels of Master Bo Rai Chos finest and most potent ale. Guaranteed to instantly grant you mastery over Zui Quan, better known as Drunken Kung Fu. Okay, it will not, but he will totally think he knows kung fu while inebriated. A note warns him to try and not drink them all in one sitting.

Serori: Two pairs of brutal looking spiked cestus gauntlets. An attached note states that Goro is aware that Serori does not have four arms but he did not know what to do with the extra pair.

Jung: A small, fluffy and very huggable plushie of a yellow ninja. When hugged, the comically angry looking Scorpion plushie will yell a modified version of his signature taunt. His COME HERE! AND HUG ME~ shout sounds remarkably like his own voice though, like he said that willingly at some point. Thankfully it can be turned off, so Jung will not have to worry about it waking her in the middle of the night if she decides to sleep with it.

Prince Lotor: An exquisitely crafted life sized gold statue of a devastatingly beautiful female exotic dancer. The woman is wearing naught but veils to keep her modest, in particular one that covers half her face from the nose down. Naturally, she is striking a very demurring pose. A plaque at the base of the statue states that this is Mileena, Daughter of the Emperor.

Beautiful Rose Petal: An adorably angry looking plushie of a blue ninja. When hugged or squeezed, this Sub Zero plushie says such mortifying puns as Stay Cool and Chill Out.

Bain: An assault rifle once used by notorious Australian mercenary, Kano. It is custom made to hold more ammo and shoot larger, more damaging rounds than a regular assault rifle of its kind. It is a wonder how Kano ever parted with such a thing, maybe Goro stole it?

Lucy Scarlet: A single, very feminine looking fan. Do not be fooled by its girly design though, it is bladed and can be used as a weapon. Furthermore, when thrown it will do a loopty loop and fly back like a boomerang. Clearly, it has the same design as those used by Princess Kitana. Perfect for an assassin.

Lance Benson: A miniature Zaterrian Reptile, an intriguing specimen and likely the last one of its kind. This tiny little creature is in the shape of a humanoid, is fully sentient (although it cant talk) can spit acid and knows Hung Gar martial arts, somehow.

Aria Quicksteel: A replica of Shao Kahn Wrath Hammer. Sadly, it does not have any of the magical properties that the Emperors hammer has, although it does weigh a freaking ton and she can summon it at will.

Allan Bodily: Gets a big ol bag of bandages.

Vinyl Scratch: For whatever reason, Goro decided to send this pony a present. Vinyl gets the entire Mortal Kombat dubstep album.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/56 Posted Author Christmas Card(captor) II Thu Dec 06 Sakura Kinomoto

Sakura absolutely didn't forget to send this one out for two days. Not at all.

Jenny Wakeman is given a set of waterproof decals, depecting various cards of Sakura's - they'll probably last a few months if she's careful. Along with these decals is a figurine of Magical Girl Jenny Wakeman, from the Daidouji Toy Company. Huh.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/57 Posted Author Endermas Thu Dec 06 Endria

Endria has no idea what Christmas is. She has only recently been told that it is a season of giving, where one offers gifts to those who are important to them.

To Guu, Crepe, Gespie, Skel, and all the other Ascended Monsters - Each monster girl recieves a potted cutting off the Swine Birch. They've already taken root and started growing new leaves. It constantly lets off the faint smell of cooked bacon. Those who are native to the Nether are also given some stacks of stone brick to build a shelter for it so it'll be safe from lava and wandering ghasts.

To Psyber - Psyber is also given a cutting off the Swine Birch. Included in the package with it is a little card with care instructions for Minecraftian trees, a cubic meter of curiously lightweight dirt, a bucket of water (how did this not spill?), and four blocks of Glowstone.

To crowravenWolfmoon - Incomplete (but substantial) stacks of Bones, Leather, String, and Black Dye. There's also a book and quill. On the first page, Endria's written: "Everyone I asked said goths like armor made from these, but I cannot figure it out. You are smart, I know you will. What you make will be cool."

To profoundBadness: An iron shovel, pickaxe, axe, and sword. Like CW, the package also has a book and quill, with the following on the first page: "I bet you could use these with that machine of yours to make some very useful tools."

To clandestineSquiddle: An incomplete but substantial stack of glowstone. Also, a book: "Your place is so dark. I bet you could use these to light it up."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/58 Posted Author Makeshift Christmas Thu Dec 06 Jung

There's no Christmas in the Avatar world, but Jung received a present and has heard enough about Christmas on the radio to feel compelled to involve herself! Sadly, she… Doesn't really have much in the way of money. Or resources. Or crafting skills. But she DOES deliver to ALL the people she has met or talked to in the Confederacy so far (via Fire Nation express mail), tiny, hand-crafted dolls. They seem to be made primarily of pieces of scrap metals, wooden baubles, and so on, all threaded through with a frayed string. They are extremely crude and amateurish, but they flop and bend and move like little metal dolls, and they don't fall apart if shaken or thrown.

If one spends enough time looking at these extreme basic metal dolls that would probably fit on a keychain, one may find that each one, at least in a very primitive fashion, seems to have some resemblance to oneself. This is very basic. A 'skirt' made out of a bent strip of metal that was made 'conical' for doll-Rose Petal. Metallic 'fire' turned red from repeated exposure to extreme heat that has caused it to melt and solidify, over and over, for doll-Azula. Painted cat-eyes on doll-Mai. Doll-Ty Lee was dipped in some pink dye or something. And so on. There is one that is more complex than the others and about twice as big as the others too.

Goro's is the biggest of these metal dolls, and it has been jointed specifically to have four arms. Sadly, it seems that there are only three and a half arms. A note is included with Goro's doll. "I'm so, so sorry, Mister King Lord General Emperor Captain Admiral Fist-God Shokan Goro Santa Claus, sir! My bed frame ran out of metal for the fourth arm! I'm so, so, so sorry! Also, thank you for the doll! Sorry!"

If you think you deserve one of these dolls, you probably do.

Also, something special for Nathan Hall over in the Union. A pair of crooked glasses made out of bits and pieces, similar to the dolls. They are too small for his head and have no lenses. It's the thought that counts… Right?

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/59 Posted Author Loki's First Christmas Fri Dec 07 Loki

Loki has donned a Santa hat and deposited packages near the people to whom they are addressed. The packages are magically enchanted to only be able to be moved by the ones listed on the elegantly written tags.

Tony Stark - A large crate of Bilgesnipe Legs for Alisk and a cask of Asgardian Wine (Watered down so he doesn't die). Also in the box is a male Asgardian outfit with a note in neat little scroll 'Do not drink too much alcohol, or you may not fit into these pants'. They are indeed leather pants that leave little to the imagination.

Pepper Potts - A set of Asgardian clothes - four casual outfits and one very elegant dress with accessories, and one small thin ornate dagger made of Asgardian Steel that can be easily concealed.

There would also be a small package within the box to Tony and Pepper requesting that if they see Yunomi, to pass her that package. Inside is a Loki doll, a small version of some of the Asgardian outfits, and a T-Shirt with Loki horns on it that says "I didn't do it."

Bruce Banner - A faux police restraining order saying he is not permitted to be within 100 feet of Loki, and a book "Anger Management for Dummies" with the Dummies crossed out and Mortals written above it in Sharpie. Bruce is also given an Asgardian outfit similar to Fandral's.

Natasha Romanoff - Tickets to Kadlin's kindergarten ballet recital with the thought that she likes ballet and she would also be less likely to attempt assassinating him with a crowd of little kids nearby. She also gets a semi-elegant Asgardian female outfit with a note asking that she please not murder Fandral if he begins hitting on her.

Korra - New hair beads, Asgardian leather boots and several articles of clothing in her favorite colors, also a very ornate looking pendant made of a clear glassy stone wrapped in gold wire on an extremely durable gold chain.

Yuna Kagurazaka - A car wash kit for her mech and a box of fine chocolate.

Hina Kagiyama - A finely crafted pendant with the Chaos symbol on the front and a green snake on the back (Loki's symbol).

Makoto Kino - An assortment of plant seeds from Frigga's garden

Mortimer Balman - Four Kegs of Asgardian Mead and several skins of Asgardian Wine with a note of thanks for taking him in and helping him to break out of his streak of self destruction. There is also a crate full of Bilgesnipe steaks (they're huge). In the envelope with the note is a hand made ticket for a trip to Asgard.

Nine - A dozen casks of Asgardian Mead and a hand written card saying, "I'm sorry I punched you.". Nine also gets a new oversized leather recliner for his apartment (It is constructed of an Asgardian steel frame to hold his weight and Asgardian leather upholstery to keep it from getting nasty), a portable game console and a Loki plushie. Also, a plastic banana.

Rose Parker - A drawstring pouch made of the most supple Asgardian leather from the finest artisan shop with a set of six Healing Stones inside. They are grey, about an inch and a half long and while they don't feel very brittle, can be broken by her hand since she possesses Asgardian Magic. They can be used to heal the worst life threatening wounds (small) in a matter of seconds.

Lute - Lute would receive an anonymous package of a brand new box of crayons. One of them is a magical explosive. Try to guess which one!

Serori - Serori receives a package as well that has a conveniently torn shipping label that makes it impossible to see who sent it. Inside is a large package of candy with a picture of a derpy cartoon Serori on it, standing under a tree while a crosseyed monkey that bears a striking resemblence to Vegeta throws coconuts resembling Dragonballs at her head. It is is enchanted, and upon closer inspection would suddenly break apart into a half dozen Asgardian magic squirrels which LOVE to bury themselves in hair. They also talk and never shut up. At the bottom of the box is a small card with a green snake and the word ENJOY! on it.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/60 Posted Author Christmas of Doom - Confed (3) Sun Dec 09 Lotor

Because there are more people.

To Envy, a rather large collection of switchblades, made of durasteel with elegantly machined handles. Each one has, laser etched into their sides, the name of one Elite. There are both Union and Confederate Elites represented. A note reading 'Now you will always be prepared for backstabbing.'

To Rose Petal, a small RoBeasted black cat. Only its legs, one eye, and jaw are cybernetic. It has full loyalty programming and can serve as a scout and a guard, patrolling and protective. It has no enlargement systems nor is it weaponized more then a tiny black cat would be weaponized. Its mind is entirely enorganic and programmed to mimic a pet cat.

To Shockwave, while Christmas is entirely illogical, Lotor supplies a decepticon-sized container of Engex. 'In hopes that, after imbibing, the illogical gains more clarity'. ( http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Engex )

To Jung, a beautiful doll, clad in fire nation dress. The face is serene and kind, the hair soft, and it is both entirely huggable and something of simple beauty. The arms hug back when embraced. It is entirely free of anything untoward, merely a beautiful and ornate doll. 'Because you need one.'

To Ruby and Cobalt, a pair of magnificent silk dresses, yet have been augmented with reinforced materials so they are highly resistent to damage, tearing, and cannot be burned. The dresses are more elegant then anything else, looking beautiful and matching their natural colors flawlessly. 'For fighting, racing, or relaxing.'

To Laer, for the authentic Sigilian experience, Lotor has managed to obtain some recordings of some of the current dramatic, political, humorous, and musical theater performances from Sigil. Recorded via holocam.

To Dr. Edgar Bleak, a far larger version of the hand that Bleak got for him some time ago, this RoBeast creature the size of a small car and while not weaponized in any way save being a giant black metal crawling hand, it is fully capable of heavy lifting, lab assistance, and in interesting cases; being used as a conveyance. It can hover. Not a Wallmaster, just some super science created robotics.

To Alia, a get to know you present in the form of an energy saber, made from Doom technologies. Sharp neon green colorscheme.

To rX, a gift card good for one(1) free RoBeast to toy with as Return X sees fit. 'Because I am cheap. -Lotor.'

To Nightmare Moon, a set of six bits, bridles, and harnesses each in very specific color schemes. Each has a tag for one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. 'Because you can always hope for future.'

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/61 Posted Author Elf - Sburb Edition Sun Dec 09 Laer

Most of Laer's gifts within the Session are given by pesterchum handle, and left at Arthur's home. These are dented, as though from some kind of fall, but have come through mostly intact unless otherwise noted.

Arthur Lowell: A trio of books on learning to play the pipe organ. The first two are pretty standard; the third is smaller, handwritten, and specifically for the organ in his home.

Fiora O'Brien: A series of finely made brushes and paints.

crowravenWolfmoon: A hand mirror, which has sadly been broken. It is not clear who will get the seven years of bad luck from this.

suomosFox: A book on the history and tradition of dueling, along with some rather squashed and battered looking chocolate.

blackwingAngel: Ammo, seemingly purchased completely as random as it is a bullet or two for a variety of different size guns. There are even some pellets and shotgun shells mixed in.

sailorSadist: Cheap makeup, a ski mask, and a note reading "Either will help, but I would go with the ski mask."

perfectPerfection: A book on self esteem, entitled 'I am a Tiny God'.

deusexLongcoat: A harmonica, and instructions on how to play it, along with a note that "Angry music is happy music."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/62 Posted Author Knight's Gifts (1/2) Sun Dec 09 Agrias Oaks

From AGRIAS OAKS

TYRAEL: Agrias has seen fit to gift Tyrael with what looks to be a single handcrafted dagger. It's well-crafted, and engraved on the crossguard is the sigil of the Union, with leather wrapping on the hilt. On the reverse side of the base of the blade is the fleur-de-lis of the Lionsguard that she carries on so much of her own equipment. It's not perfectly forged; she probably made it herself, with the intention of being used as a sidearm. Tied around the hilt is a note: "Lord Tyrael, "I lack the skill to forge a blade truly, but perhaps this sidearm will do. May it serve you well in the war, and thank you for aught you have done for me. I am in your debt, and my sword and shield are yours to do as you will with them. "Furthermore, Her Majesty passes on her gratitude for the role that you and so many others took in my liberation. — Capt. Oaks."

AMALTHEA: The Grouchiest Bitterdin is sent a plain parcel. Inside, wrapped in tissue paper, is a scarf. It is a very warm scarf. It looks like it might be hand-made. "Dame Amalthea, "May this keep you warm. 'Twas hand-made by Her Majesty, and she sends her compliments to you as well for your role in my liberation. You have my thanks and continued respect and admiration; may this yule find you and your loved ones well. "Furthermore, Her Majesty passes on her gratitude for the role that you and so many others took in my liberation. — Capt. Oaks."

KAMINAGI SETSUKO: A very fine cloak, trimmed in fur and hand-sewn, very possibly by Ovelia. The cloak itself is black; the trim silver fur, probably ermine or fox. Yes, real fur. It's packed carefully into a box, wrapped in tissue paper. "Dame Setsuko, "I've no skill or time to spare to forge a blade anew, so instead I send you this cloak, in the hopes it keeps you warm. 'Twas hand-made by Her Majesty, who sends her compliments to you. You have my continued admiration and respect; may this yule find you and your loved ones well. "Furthermore, Her Majesty passes on her gratitude for the role that you and so many others took in my liberation. — Capt. Oaks."

LLOYD IRVING: Rather than a finely-crafted sidearm as presented to some others, Lloyd gets his own sword! It's a very plain-looking longsword. Its uniqueness lies in its crafting, however — is similar to Defender, that of folded steel of a unique composition. It comes with its own scabbard. Both blade and scabbard look worn and very definitely used, and a note is tied around the hilt: "General Irving, "I know you are a man of the sword, and thus I thought it only fitting to acquire you a worthy blade. Consider this payment for Defender's eventual repair. Though this is not as old or as well-crafted, it is nonetheless crafted in the same manner, of folded Zeltennian steel; an art long lost in Ivalice. Never mind the cost or the difficulty of finding such a blade, as it is worth it to me to see it placed in the proper hands. May it serve you well for many long years. — Capt. Oaks."

RICHARD STADLER: Much like the factional leaders, Rick gets a blade. This one is a sidearm as theirs; though not quite so ornamented or elabourate, it is nonetheless well-crafted (and looks as though it's probably been used). Tied around the hilt is a note: "Ser Stadler, "It would behoove you to learn an art not related to the firearms you prefer. While I've no fault with such weapons, mayhap a melee weapon would serve you well, even if only a sidearm. I hope this suits your needs; furthermore, I would be honoured to offer you what instruction you may need. — Capt. Oaks."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/63 Posted Author Knight's Gifts (2/2) Sun Dec 09 Agrias Oaks

LOROS: To the Wizard goes a nicely-wrapped box. Opening it up would reveal tissue paper wrapped around… …what? It's empty? Further inspection would reveal that there is in fact something wrapped in there, along with a crisply-folded note. The thing is a small charm crafted in the shape of a scarab, iridescent and polished to a gleam. While it looks fairly uninteresting, supernatural senses would reveal a faint enchantment on the object — a bringer of good fortune, however minor, but probably useless to a man of Loros' talents except as a curious trinket. "Wizard, "I suppose I owe you some thanks for not making my life the living hell it could have been during my stay within the Confederacy. Know that you have my thanks, however much I do not trust you. I thought you would find this trinket interesting; it was found in the remote reaches of the Kingdom of Gallionne during an errand by my onetime Ivalician allies. — Capt. Oaks."

NUMBER NINE: Nine gets a nicely-wrapped box, somewhat small, enough to hold a chit-sized card. Inside is a note tucked in with a gift card to a nice eatery somewhere in the Multiverse; very possibly Pegasus' bakery. "Nine, "Thank you for the kindness exhibited during my stay in the Confederacy. May this yule find you well. — Capt. Oaks."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/64 Posted Author Iscariot's Gifts (1/1) Sun Dec 09 Heinkel Wolfe

From HEINKEL WOLFE

PSYBER: To Psyber goes a bottle of very old, very expensive wine from Iscariot's own stores; the label on the bottle is written in Italian, and it practically reeks of age. Figuratively speaking, that is to say. Tied around the neck is a note. "Boss, "Try not to get blood all over this. It was expensive. — Wolfe."

ADELAIDE FLOWERS: Addie gets blessed ammunition. Addie gets a lot of blessed ammunition. A whole wooden crate full of the stuff, in fact, with a big red ribbon and a note tied around it. "Addie, "I'm taking you freak-hunting one of these days. When we do, you're going to use this. And you don't want to know what it took to get this to you without touching it. I'm also taking you out for coffee one of these days. That expensive place down the road. — Wolfe."

LAINE: Heaven or Hell's favourite Garou gets a gift, too. Laine receives by air mail a very nice scarf, which feels like fleece or felt, or something similarly soft and warm. Embroidered into one side are tiny wolves running and howling, and each end is finished off with semi-long tassels. "Laine, "For my pack-sister. You probably don't even need it, but something warm to wear while you wander. — Wolfe."

JOSEPH O'REILLY: To the fellow demon-huntin' priest goes a black wooden box; on opening it, Joseph would find the inside to be trimmed in padded red velvet. Resting on the velvet is a pair of very nice-looking pistols. They are in fact the very same thing that Heinkel uses; standard-issue modified 1911 Colt pistols engraved with "ISCARIOT" and "SEZIONI 13" on each side of the barrels. They're plated in silver, with etching and ornamentation making them look considerably nicer than a service weapon probably has any right to look. Included with them is a small box of blessed ammunition. Tucked into the box is a note. "Father O'Reilly, "This is the same thing Section XIII uses. You might find these useful, as you seem to be in a similar line of work. God go with you. — Wolfe."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/65 Posted Author Violent Drunkard Lunar's Gifts (1/ Sun Dec 09 Isa Reichert

From ISA REICHERT

BAIN: Since he's an awesome mission controller and she doesn't know what he actually likes, Isa has instead elected to send Bain a ludicrously expensive gift card to the nearest reputable Multiversal electronics shop. Stuck to the card is a note. It's written in Russian, so hopefully he can get it translated. Also sent to his location is a small, separate parcel with no note, with a pair of stylish WWI-era flight goggles wrapped carefully in tissue paper. The second box has no note. "Bain, "You do good work. I'm looking forward to more missions with you. Stay in touch. There may be more where this came from. Russia's taking an interest in what you can do, and we may want your services for a mission or two in the near future. — Reichert."

CRIMSON SEA: Arriving wherever Crimson Sea picks up her mail is a very large, very well-packed crate. Cracking it open would reveal a positively staggering variety of rum and other delicious booze, and a treasure or two — a coin or two from sunken treasure, and other trinkets. Attached to the crate is a shipping invoice (which is already paid, and also ludicrously expensive) and a note below that. It is, unfortunately, written in Russian. "Crimson, "I always did like you from the first. Enjoy these; they're on me. Maybe you'll owe me a drink next time, but for now, enjoy yourself. I slipped in a few things I thought you might like. Found them on my travels. — Reichert."

LANCE BENSON: Sent to Lance's laboratory, or wherever he's most likely to receive it, is a neat little parcel wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with what looks like twine. Opening it would reveal something wrapped in tissue paper. That something is a pair of stylish, WWI-era flying goggles. Tied to them via string hangtag is a note written in Russian. Underneath them is a stack of shrink-wrapped airsick bags, probably ordered wholesale from her squadron quartermaster. "Benson, "If I ever have to drive you anywhere again, you're taking the bags with you. — Reichert."

RICHARD STADLER: Sent to Stadler's most easily-accessible mailing address is a single manila envelope, inside of which is a neat, crisply-folded note that smells faintly of alcohol by the time it reaches him. Included in the envelope is a shell casing from a Stetchkin Russian service pistol. Analysis would indicate it as perfectly normal, if smelling faintly of vodka. Analysis and testing would also yield that there is, or was, blood on it at one point. It doesn't match anything in the database, though, and is not fully human. Strangely, there are trace amounts of DNA that match the steppe eagle, Aquila nipalensis, present in the blood. (Union databases would match up to one of the Lunar Exalted.) "Stadler, "I always pay my debts, and I owe you several more of these. Don't get in my way again or I'll make good on that IOU. Keep this one as a souvenier if you want. There is no signature, and it's written in meticulously-penned Russian.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/66 Posted Author Water's Gifts (1/2) Sun Dec 09 Sarah

From SARAH

UNION FACHEADS: All Union facheads, past and present who still serve, have been sent a small and elegantly-wrapped wooden box. Inside is black velvet lining, and tucked into each individual box is an individual Flowing Rune. They're stronger than the basic Water Runes, and have potential combat applications, if the facheads choose to use them (and OOCly submit upgrade apps!). The stone-like surface of each is cool and slightly slick to the touch, as though coated in condensation. "Union Leaders, "It is a thankless job to lead, but your work is appreciated nonetheless. Please take this with my compliments. Perhaps they may be of some use to you. — Reserve Capt. Sarah."

IIANOR: To his painting studio, or wherever he receives his mail, Iianor is sent a set of fine Harmonian paints, the kind used by the most exalted court artists. They're lavishly expensive and very high quality, perfect for painting a masterpiece. Sent along with them is a set of brushes, with hair from the tail of a gryphon (which, for reference, have horses' tails in the Suikoverse). They're enclosed in an elegant wooden box with velvet lining. Tucked inside the box is a note. "Iianor, "I have enjoyed the time we have spent together, and appreciate your efforts in the Union. Please accept these as a token of my appreciation and continued respect. May they serve you well. — Lady Sarah."

ASH KETCHUM: Whether through the postal service or delivered by Pokemon (which may well be the postal service in his home world), Ash will receive a sheaf of rolled-up maps for all of the major Harmonian cities in Sarah's world, copied onto artisan-quality parchment and well-inked. "Sir Ash, "I have no doubt that if you should visit Harmonia, you will find yourself irrevocably lost. I do not think these will help you, but I have sent them to you nonetheless. If they are useless as a navigational aid, they are of sufficient quality that they should make attractive decorations, I should think. — Lady Sarah." Tucked into the bottom is a plain Water Rune. Whether this was intentional or not is up to fate. It's weak, but functional, and useful for minor tasks like keeping drinks cold!

PSYBER: To the Heaven or Hell Tower is sent a small parcel. Contained inside is a selection of fine alcohol from Crystal Valley, ranging from flavourful wines to the stuff that can knock out a horse. It's all presented in a well-made wooden crate, nicely presented and secured. Attached is a note. "Sir Psyber, "I had heard you were fond of alcohol, so as a token of my appreciation, I have arranged for a small sampler to be delivered to your property. Please do not drink it all at once. I do not think that would be wise, even for someone of your not inconsiderable stamina. — Lady Sarah."

LUC: Sitting in Toran Castle is a packed wooden crate of sweet treats from dozens of foreign worlds, all arranged nicely and preserved by (surprise) freezing. They're all delicious and terrible for you. Included is a selection of coffee and tea, the kind that go well with sweet pastries. There is no note.

HUANG DAO: A small, tasteful selection of fine tea is sent to wherever Huang Dao will receive it. It includes a mug and an attached note. "Master Huang Dao, "I cannot thank you enough for your aid in Annu. Such material things cannot convey the full extent my gratitude for your intervention with the True Water Rune or in your aid to me, but perhaps it can nonetheless convey my appreciation. These are from Crystal Valley; I hope that they are to your tastes. — Lady Sarah."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/67 Posted Author Water's Gifts (2/2) Sun Dec 09 Sarah

JIANG FU: Sent to Jiang is a selection of tea, hand-picked and packed into a very nice assembly. Also tucked inside is a nice necklace with a sapphire in it, which feels vaguely magical, and suggests that the stone itself is a very tiny Water Rune of no particular import. It's just enough power to do things like keep drinks cold. Or hot! "Jiang Fu, "I still remember a lovely visit to your gardens, and I am still appreciative of that time. Please accept these tokens of my gratitude. — Lady Sarah."

HINA KAGIYAMA, SAYA IRINO: Sent to each of the Union's counselors is a balsa-wood box, containing within a selection of fine (and very strong) teas. The seal burned into the box suggests something Harmonian; the stylized circle motif of the Circle Rune is present on both. Attached to each is an identical note. "Counselors, "Although I have not yet taken advantage of your services, your work is nonetheless vital and beneficial to the Union as a whole, and I am certain that it is tremendously valuable. Please accept these tokens of my appreciation, and may you enjoy a peaceful holiday season. — Lady Sarah."

RAVEN DeVANOS: To Raven goes a small iron pendant wrought in the shape of a hyena, wrapped in tissue paper and tucked in an equally small box. Folded up into itty bitty quarters inside is a note. "Raven, "We will meet again in Oxford soon. I apologise for being unable to have done so thus far. Recovering from our trials in Annu, and my assassination attempts, has taken up much of my time and effort; seeking the repair of my weapon, which must be done by a certain individual, has been much the same. I promise you that we will do so soon. I am also honoured to have fought at your side. I do not believe that you will, but please do not forget why we challenged Annu — remember the things that are most important to you. We who were there must all do so. — Lady Sarah."

LOROS: Sent to Loros is a wooden packing crate, with most of the splintery surfaces sanded off. (Careful inspection would prove that this was unsurprisingly done via highly pressurised water.) Contained within the crate are a number of basic texts regarding Runes. He'll find that stuff out anyway, and it's nothing that's particularly threatening in and of itself; even in the most thorough of them, it barely even mentions the True Runes. Also, opening the crate is an unholy Pandora's box. Also contained within are precisely four (4) ferret-like creatures with luminant red eyes, dark fur, and adorable countenances. Also, they'll promptly get into everything. They are thankfully wearing collars, somehow, with little bells attached to them. (One of them sounds like a gong, for some reason, even though it's a little silver bell.) Inside the crate, somewhat chewed-upon, is a note. "Wizard, "I thought you might find some enjoyment out of this. — Lady Sarah." …It's debatable whether this was truly meant as a gift or a highly entertaining (if doomed) sabotage attempt.

JOWY ATREIDES: To the bearer of Black Sword goes a small parcel, and inside one will find a modest selection of… coffee? Tucked inside is a note. "Runebearer, "I would have words with you when you have the opportunity. — Lady Sarah."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/68 Posted Author Shadow's Gifts (1/1) Sun Dec 09 Yalai the Stave

From YALAI THE STAVE

AEDAN MacCARVILL: Aedan will find that he is circuitously (is there any other way among the Sheikah?) presented with a brand new set of daggers. These are longer and decidedly more wicked-looking than standard-issue Sheikah throwing knives, sharper and just a little broader than Avri's throwing needles. They're good for stabbing or slashing, having edge enough to be used for the latter, and small enough to easily stow in a belt or shoulder strap of some kind. They don't have scabbards, but they look like they're very well-crafted. The Weeping Eye is etched into the steel of each blade. There is no note. Perhaps she means to deliver the accompanying message in person. Or just shove him into a lake and call it "done."

LLOYD IRVING: Sent to the General of the Union is a black velvet-lined box of equally black wood. It's not very big, and contained within is a finely-made blade that's too short to be a sword and too long to be a knife. Its lines are elegant and just slightly curved, tapering towards its pointed tip. The hilt is wrapped in black leather, and stamped into the crossguard is the Weeping Eye of the Sheikah. Tucked inside is a note. It is mercifully written in Hylian and not the maddeningly obtuse, obscure, and virtually untranslatable shadow-script. "General Irving, "I have been hearing that you are being a swordsman of some renown. May this blade be serving you well. It is being called Shadowbind, and if you are preferring, I can be teaching you how to use it best. "I am also sending my apologies for not helping more directly with matters in the Union. I am being made much busy with matters in my homeland. — Stave."

SERORI: Sent to Serori is the puzzling gift of a broken throwing knife. It's very obviously broken, too. The blade is different from her regular throwing knives, with etching along it in some very strange-looking language that seems to be utterly untranslatable, and not very similar to anything actively used in writing anywhere. The reverse side has an inscription in Hylian, which is a little eaiser to puzzle out. "Transient as mist "One day carries to the next "Time "Sand, through your fingers." There is no return address, signature, or anything else of that nature; just a second knife, which is one of the plain throwing knives that Yalai uses. It would probably be recognised.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/69 Posted Author Mai's Gifts (1/1) Sun Dec 09 Mai

From MAI

Nobody gets presents from Mai.

Holidays are insufferably boring.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/70 Posted Author Gifts from Kirito! Sun Dec 09 Kirito

ASUNA: Boatloads of crafting materials needed to upgrade virtually ALL of her equipment several times over with minimal chance of failure. It must be worth several hundred thousand Col. This can't be all, can it? No, it certainly cannot be.

AGIL: A small book full of amazingly funny jokes. Make of this what you will!

ANYA: Two dozen particularly rare drops… all of them are identical throwing knives.

KLEIN: Coupons to several pizza parlors for him and Furinkazan.

TOMOE: Materials to polish her armor, and a stylish cape that fits her color scheme, which Kirito apparently commissioned from Ashley according to its item window. Its telltale metallic shimmer reveals its Mythrilweave quality before checking the item's properties even does.

ARTHUR LOWELL: A Guidebook to all publically known items in Aincrad. Clearly Kirito's itching to see some Alchemy in action.

FAYT RAVUS: Recording Crystals full of Christmas songs sung by an english-singing barbershop quartet from Aincrad. They're actually surprisingly good, if you can pardon the accent and occasional engrish.

NATHAN HALL: Relatively recently-written books detailing the neurological sciences and technologies involved in FullDive.

IIANOR: A few short but heartwarming fantasy novels arrive for Iianor… and for the fairies, in a particularly bold move, Kirito's apparently found enough miniature-sized equipment for them to play Laser Tag in the painting. Oh dear.

Everyone in the Gatecrashers Union who doesn't otherwise receive something above at the least gets a card.

METAL MAN: Oddly enough, Metal Man gets a small supply of REAL materials to wax and shine his body.

JUNG: Also gets some heartwarming fantasy novels.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/71 Posted Author Samus Presents Sun Dec 09 Samus Aran

For Nanoha and Fate (The younger versions) - A card, featuring a picture of a much-younger Samus in military fatigues. 'Everyone starts somewhere, even someone who's been doing it for a long time. I'm sure you both will find people who inspire you, and people to look up to, like I did. Good luck.'

For Psyber - A 1971 Datsun 280Z, with aftermarket Scarab badging. The original engine has been replaced with a 400 cubic inch Oldsmobile V8. 'Figured you might need a new way to get around, the way you go through cars.'

For Lloyd - A U.S. Marine Corps Mameluke sword, of the same style as those issued to officers. 'Every leader has to remember, despite how strong or skilled they are, it's the people who are under your command who help get the job done. You've done more than that, and I hope this will remind you of that in the future, if you find yourself in a tough situation.'

For Tyrael - A small, stone statue of a Chozo warrior, seated on a throne. His armor is very similar to the set that Samus wears. 'The Chozo prized wisdom, tolerance and freedom for all sentient life. I can only hope that you continue to uphold that example for everyone in the Union.'

All Union officers and enlisted - A small Galaxy Federation medallion, which bears the Federation's seal on the front, and the words 'Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno' on the obverse. 'Everyone gives up something when they serve in the military. Just a reminder, that there's always more at stake than your pride or your reputation.'

To the survivors of Annu - An inert shard of Phazon ore. 'This once threatened the entire universe, where I came from. I know the kind of burden that destroying one world holds. I hope that no one has to bear the burden that you all share, of deciding the fate of a universe, again.'

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/72 Posted Author Christmas Navigated Sun Dec 09 Alia

Alia hasn't had much mingling with the Confederacy and thus her gift list is not very large yet. Given her current base of operations at a reploid scrapyard, she has opted to gift those few friends of hers with a small mechaniloid.

FRAN MADARAKI is gifted with a PATROL DOG ( Image). It is about the size of a small dog and very protective. The personality is otherwise very basic, and it is about as intelligent as the average dog. Its behaviors are dog-like as well, when it is not obeying orders. "I'm certain your master is relieved to have someone like you managing his home while he is away. This Patrol Dog should be helpful."

NUMBER NINE recieves a BATTON BONE ( Image ). It clings to the ceiling when not active. Its primary function is surveillance, though it can also be used to fetch things. It has no real personality to speak of. "This Batton Bone suits your aesthetic, I think. It can watch or fetch things. If you like, I can install a personality to make it more like a pet than a tool."

LANCE BENSON recieves a WINGED PARAROID ( Image). It has a habit of hiding near the ceiling above doors and then dropping on people. Otherwise, it's fairly harmless. "A novelty for a man of science. Never lose that spark of curiosity."

MEGA MAN X recieves a RAY BIT ( Image). The weapons have been disarmed. It otherwise acts like a regular rabbit would. "We are enemies, but I don't think we have to hate each other. Please have a wonderful holiday."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/73 Posted Author A Very Mir-y Christmas Mon Dec 10 Mir

Yes, Mir actually sends out Christmas gifts.

THE MATERIALS: Levi gets a box of Funbun Treats, which are like marshmallow peeps but crunchy. Seikou receives a new apron and oven mitts, and Yami finds a much more expensive gift: A songstone-powered transmission-reception device that acts like a baby monitor, with a note: 'For Levi's Room.'

EMERALD BLADE: A rocket-powered boomerang sword. 'To help rebuild your collection. Give it a fitting name.'

ADELYN LYSEN AND LIALYN EARTHDANCE: Lialyn receives what appears to be a guitar with a hidden blade within it. Songs played on this will resonate with the set of ribbons given to Adelyn, allowing them to be shaped, stiffened, sharpened, or otherwise molded into weapons or magic circles as she desires.

BLISS: A small weather machine. This is an artifact of Mir's world that lets the local weather be shifted a fair amount, but it has limited charges. A half dozen or so. 'You may find this useful for your powers.'

CHRYSANTHEMUM: 'Not sure what to get the girl who has everything, but you like stories, so here are some visual novels.' Included are a half-dozen visual novels.

ELLIANA FAIRCHILD: A bath toy. It is a penguin. That foams at the mouth when bubble bath is put inside it.

INFEL AND NENESHA: Tickets to several broadway musicals.

LAER: A collection of (non-Song Magic) Hymns dating from the Second Age of Ar Ciel.

PSALM: A new cape. It is /mildly/ chameleonic, in that it will not blend in with terrain(unless Psalm stands still for a LONG time) but it will change patterns and colors to her desire with enough concentration.

NATHAN HALL: Copies of some of the books in the Ar Ciel library. Not the originals, but they do detail some of the ancient myths including where the Origins got their name.

PSYBER: A dodgeball, and a plaque reading 'Multiverse's Most Dedicated Investigator.'

YUNA KAGURAZAKA: A new bodysuit which is modest yet flattering to her figure.

GLADOS: Various unusual and somewhat uncommon parts used in Grathmelding.

CARO RU LUSHE: An egg. With the egg is a note, showing a vicious-looking wyvern-like creature. 'These are a menace around the tower. I thought you would like the chance to befriend one, if it was possible. Please be careful.'

ELLESTARIA: An extremely well-fitted dress.

AMALTHEA: A guide, written by Mir herself, on raising children from adolescence.

HIMEI: Taking a surprising amount of time for someone she barely knows, Mir has scoured the far corners of the Multiverse with her agents and acquired… the Sailor Nothing anime. It is wildly inaccurate.

KIYOKO SAITO: Sailor Nothing Gaiden: Sailor Salvation Two.

MISHA: A note stating 'no hard feelings' and a new dress for her child form.

KIRITO: A book on what not to teach AI. Also an IOU to give a brief tour of her world's Binary Field.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/74 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Raven DeVanos - It's a… hyena. It looks like a hyena. A sleeping hyena. It turns out to be a stuffed animal, with real fur. Not hyena fur, but dyed chinchilla, cut and sculpted into a hyena's pelt. What feels like memory foam comprises the contours of muscles beneath, in between fluffy cotton, and the soft smell of veeerry very faint peppermint. It's also big, and a great body pillow, mooshing and contouring if snuggled into a comfortable shape. -I miss you.-

Talynn Black - Talynn gets a stole of some soft, luxurious fur, probably something small, squeaky and expensive. It's long enough to wrap a couple of times. -Aint quite sure what size you are, so I didn't get you a coat, but this outta fit either way. Happy holidays.-

Smiting Star - A scrapbook about the lives of Viridan Sunrise and Blossom Rose. It's got a few more stories about him than her; conversations over the radio, pictures and stories about him leading the Confederacy, little hand-scrawled messages about what it was like under him, how he changed, when she died, how it all sort of went a little crazy there at the end. Carefully recorded, his last conversation, and pictures of him, of the emperor, of those last, painful days. -He isn't you. You may not want to read this, or see this, or care. And that's fine. But you may. And if you do, know that for all that he had his problems, for all the terrible things that happened, he was a good man, and a good leader, and not a day goes by I don't miss him, very, very much. Maybe you got some of that goodness. I certainly hope so.-

Blossom Rose - A scrapbook of the lives of Viridan Sunrise and Blossom Rose. This one's different than his, and focuses more on her, at least what Nine remembers of her, like her losing it and trying to get people to stop fighting via axe at the party or her healing Nine in the medical bay. The note reads -I know this isn't you, and I know you might not care, but you might like to know a little more about who part of you used to be. If not, I am sorry for having hurt you, but if so, know that we loved her, very, very much. She was our conscience, and we miss that. But you might have your own magic, and I'm glad of that.-

Untamed Breeze - Breeze gets a studious, stuffy looking wolf plushie of a pearlescent silvery color. It looks grumpy and disapproving. -I'm watching youu, no really happy holidays you crazy Unionite you-

Staren - Staren gets a blanket, done in soft blues and creamy whites. It seriously looks like the sort of thing one'd get a baby or a little kid and is super soft, but is big enough for a full sized adult. It smells of cranberries for some reason, but not unduly so. -You need to relax man. You've had a hard life.-

Beli Yo'il - Beli gets a sexy nightie, a sheer, thin thing, mostly silk and satin but with some lace here and there where it won't rub the flesh. It's very, um, skimpy. -You're a helluva girl and you seem to have some confidence issues, so put this on and look in the mirror, trust me you won't have them afterwards.-

Kamui Gakupo - It's a… painting. Not the most, capable one, it's rather small and done in what looks like gauche or tempura, and it shows Kamui at a concert. It's very bright and vivacious. -Um, I haven't, had, a chance, to go to, any, more, of your, um, concerts, but the one I went to was very, um… magical. Thank you- Yeahh that note wasn't in Nine's handwriting.

Kevin Graham - Kevin gets a set of hot cocoas and teas, a soft, warm jacket, gloves, a scarf and a floppy winters hat. -Sometimes things can seem damn cold, but at those times I find it's always nice to come home to those who care about you and take a moment to enjoy the little warm things in life-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/75 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Cecily - Cecily gets an intricate, delicate little music box, a thing of crystal and brass (or is that gold?) and mirrors, with a fully clockwork little dancing ballerina inside. It plays a soft, chiming tune, gentle and soothing. -Sorry I went crazy and nearly tore your throat out a couple of times. I'm sorry you didn't find your family and that you nearly got eaten by an alternate universe version of yourself. You have people who love you though, and sometimes they can be like family too. Find comfort in your friends. Your actual friends, not creepy degenerate monsters like me. Merry christmas-

Priscilla - It's a… birdcage. A really fancy, shiny silver birdcage, worked with intricate whorls and delicate vinework. It's fully automated, with a watering and feeding option and it even cleans itself. The bird inside seems to be a… white, canary, but it's well behaved and doesn't make too much noise, just occasional little cheeping sounds. -There's more to you than you'd care to know, but remember. You're just an empty cage if you kill the bird. There is merit in things you deny yourself, and there's no weakness in feeding things that need it.- The bird won't die if she ignores it, but interacting with it and hand feeding it ect will soon have it softly cooing and affectionate in her hands.

Silvia Stardancer - Silvia gets an intricate jacket. It looks like a cross between a trenchcoat and a tapestry, and seems just ridiculously overpacked with intricately stitched roses and briarwork -Only a fancy lady could pull off a jacket like this, and you're one of the fanciest I know, so, there ya go, yer a great gal. Say hi to your grammy for me. I don't know what to get a ghost.-

Tyrael - Tyrael gets a set of bookends, of regal looking golden lions. One looks old and tired, grim but strong and composed, the other looks young and brash, rearing and pawing at the world like it's about to die with excitement. -It's a hard job, but you've surprised me. He was right about you. You deserve the respect you're getting. I miss him. But I'm glad, for all that you're the enemy and you might well be the death of us one day, I'm glad that you're there for them. Find comfort in them. They're your friends as well as your charges. Remember that.-

Lloyd Irving - Lloyd gets a set of various assorted weird things, from super soakers and wiffleball bats to nerf swords and extremely low-caliber beanbag shotguns, the sort that'd just knock someone on their butt and not even leave a mark. -To keep the troops in line, oh, and for you- Some liquor, aspirin (with a note saying Not At The Same Time) and a ginormous, ridiculously comfortable beanbag chair that's really more of a couch and apparently made with what looks like chinchilla fur. -Stay sane, dude, and good luck-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/76 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Nathan Hall - MM1. Yup. Unfortunately the utilitarian side of Nathan's present isn't much fun, and is a BITCH to lift. It's HEAVY. It turns out to be a… multi, barreled, grenade launcher. …Stopping power indeed. It's the huge unwieldy sort of awkward, but it IS liftable. If Nathan can haul around the Gunblade, he can handle this thing. It's only, almost, twice as heavy. Um. Okay so it's not too terribly effective as a casual weapon, but it's both scary effective and just plain scary. For something more personal… a scrapbook? A thick scrapbook, crammed absolutely full of reminiscences of their various talks, misadventures and interactions over the years, most including Nine's-eye-view photographs. It's hand written, and carefully, so it's actually readable. There's also a hatbox with a rather fancy tophat in it. Hmm. -It's not his. I'm not sure he still exists, but it reminded me of you. We need to hang out more.-

Amalthea - It's an ornamental knife. Pretty. Ornate. Nasty. Blood slots and hooky bits and serrations. Patterned, inlaid and etched. It's also a beautiful, vibrant cobalt blue. A really vibrant, vivacious blue, and a rather ugly sentiment if one thinks about it, given recent events. -Take care of the ones you love. Treasure them, because you never know when you could lose them- Another note is hastily stuffed in the case, -And no that's not a threat-

Yuna Kagurazaka - It's, um, bizarre. It appears to be a… clockwork, um, duck. It's white, it's metallic feathers a matt buffed cream. Pretty perfect in it's details save that the legs seem to be rainbow striped and the center of the chest has a light-up pink heart in it. It sings, actually sings, 'Leaving on a Jet Plane', the Peter Paul and Mary edition. It acts just like a duck, wiggling it's tail and fussing with it's feathers. Doesn't talk. Doesn't fly, just sings that song. -Just, don't ask. It made me think of you, but not in any weird, insulting way. Um.-

Tony Stark - Inside the box, plain on any x-rays or other scanning equipment is a… spring-loaded punch glove. It has, like, NO power beyond just sort of popping out of the box and creaking back and forth a few times. Beyond this is the other glove (they're perfectly serviceable and of a particularly good brand) with an envelope beneath. -I don't know what kind of shlock you jokers have in your section of the multiverse but for gods sake man take the lady out to a REAL concert- and included is a couple of tickets to Simon and Garfunkel.

Sol - Sol gets a selection of fine alcohols. -I don't know you as well as I'd like, but you'd taken time to be kind to me during a particularly bad moment in my life. I wish I could get you a better gift but I didn't want to forget you.-

Agrias Oaks - Agrias gets a fluffy holiday sweater, a Cheese and Crackers basket and a Chocolate basket, of the Welcome to the Confederacy variety, with the WTTC placard pulled out and replaced with a So Sorry To See You Go instead. They're, stuffed full, with the C&C being primarily soft Cracker Barrel style spreads and the chocolate basket being primarily Sees, Godiva and Ghiradelli. -I'm glad you're back where you're comfortable, but I'm still kinda sorry to see you go. I understand you weren't here by choice, which was a pity. I hope you're happy where you are, though. Enjoy your life.-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/77 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Yunomi - Yunomi gets a set of delicate little frosted glass animals, mythical ones done in painstaking miniature with ridiculous level of details. Not just the common ones like unicorns and dragons but things like shedu and catoblepas and simurgh. The note reads -You are more than I think perhaps you give yourself credit for. Just because you are what you are every day doesn't mean you're not something special. Remember that. Oh, and sorry for screaming at you that one time. Um.-

Pegasus - Pegasus gets… a necklace. A rather nice one, done in frosted silver and white gold and threaded with titanium, it's got a rather large moonstone set with a number of tiny chips of diamond. The entire thing is just on the edge of tasteless with it's ostentatious brightness, but it's intricate and rather beautiful in it's own way. -I'm glad you seem happy, and I'm always hoping you stay that way. If you ever need anything from any of us, the Feds are still your friends, remember that, but I'm glad you have Nathan and you have your sister and your freedom. Happy holidays-

Maya - Maya gets a small plush penguin. It looks sleepy and has a small object inside that acts as a white noise generator or can alternately play things like whale songs or rainfall. It's soft and smells faintly of lavender. -You're hard to shop for, you know that?-

Psyber - Okay so not booze or weaponry. Nine's gifts are a game system (the Atari Warpforce, ~360 level or so) and the Killing Fields fighting games, a fighting games featuring horror movie monsters, from Freddie Kruger, Jason Vorhees and Leatherface to Willard, Pumpkinhead and the Thing (from The Thing). KF 1 through KF 6: Red Tide Edition, set under water and features Jaws, the Beast and the Creature from the Black Lagoon, ect. -HA! Not booze OR weapons. Sac tapping with the controller doesn't count-

Mortimer Balman - Rather LARGE box, inside which is… horse, barding. Pony barding. For battle, looks like. Black and red, leather and plate, sculpted and scary looking but also sort of, nice, looking, too? Inside the main stomach section of the barding, holding it up is a barrel of what turns out to be a rather sweet, powerfully alcoholic mead. -Supposedly this is fireproof enough even for you. You're hard to shop for. Happy holidays.-

Karian - Super soakers! Karian and his entire pack have a set of super soakers, from little stealthy derringer sized ones to ginormous ones with backpack attachments that would be heavy for anyone but a Space Marine, and a good crate of assorted water balloons. -Not everything has to be death and killing, but it gets into your system I know, so here, have fun with the boys, works wonders for me and the other King Golems.-

Lupita Auryon - Lupita gets one of the Welcome to the Confederacy Meat and Cheese gift baskets. It's pretty awesome and rather varied in it's meats, but unfortunately they're all cooked and rather thoroughly spiced. -Aint much but it's something. Thanks for being sociable-

Kruger - Vinyl! Kruger gets an old fashioned record player with a lot of old, carefully cared for records. His reaction might well be wtf, but they all seem functional and in good form -I figured you're probably up to your taller-than-normal armpits in furs and booze and violence over there, so I tried to do something different. Have fun!-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/78 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Bloody-Feather - Bloody-Feather gets huge whopping big basket of knives. From throwing knives to combat blades, switchblades, butterfly knives, bowie knives and utterly horrid hooky things best not contemplated, there's also a big bottle of oil, a whetstone and a sharpening strip, and, completely out of place, a huge bag of assorted gummies of a good three dozen different flavors, evidently serving as a bottom for the basket. -You're sweet and dangerous, so have a gift basket that's sweet and dangerous. Maybe we will fight some time-

Ysintra - It's a… um. Tree. A little metal tree that has a good two hundred little glass leaves on it that in the slightest breeze sigh and tinkle in a gentle, relaxing way. The tree is a thing of gold and brass and bronze, tiny and intricate. -I'm not sure if this thing is a thanks for knocking some sense into me for being a douchebag that one time or a backhanded attempt to get you back, given that the chiming might get annoying and if someone knocked it across the room it'd become this doomy lethal cloud of metal splinters and glass shrapnel, so be careful-

The Emperor - A copy of the scrapbook of the lives of Viridan Sunrise and Blossom Rose. It's a carefully cobbled, homemade book of commentary, remembrances and photos of the one, the other or both of them together. The note reads -You have moved beyond all this. I can understand that. I'd like to think, if he were clear and free and himself, without any baggage or chains, that he would have done the same. Perhaps, in becoming you, he did. Happy holidays.-

Noh - Noh gets a plushie. Of Grace. Which makes for an uuugly plushie, but ugly in a cute way, maybe? It's gawky and goofy with the smile and the wide staring eyes and the snakey neck and bandy legs, and even has the big fans painstakingly stitched in the side and the big tubes and everything. It must've been expensive to commission, and it's a silly, silly looking thing, sprawling there and grinning. - Don't think I've forgotten you little one. Sorry for, the whole, hurting you thing, during the saving me thing. Thank you. I owe you, literally, everything-

Loki - Loki gets a big set of gummy candy, in weird and exotic flavors, stuffed in beside a big soft plush coat in his colors, with a hand-knitted scarf wrapped around the lot of it. -I am, so, sorry, for beating you up that one time and, well, screaming at you. Friends?-

Susurrus - A nice suit matching Rose Petal's dress in styling and color scheme, (less lace, oh, some at the wrist and throat but not too much) of a decidedly Victorian sort of flavor. It also has matching shoes, and hey, they actually fit. -Still watching you-

Dr. Nathan Xiang - A fine silk robe, done in his personal symbol. It's comfortable, if a little cool and slightly sheer, not for cold weather. -You, are REALLY hard to shop for :/-

Tshallandria - A potted plant, small enough to put on a desk. It extrudes a small aura of cooled air, not enough for a ghostly chill but enough to make an area pleasant and seems to, instead of flowers or fruit, have small silver bells naturally grown at the ends of the little green branches. It seems to react to stress or discomfort by shaking softly, producing a gentle, pretty tinkling noise, quiet enough not to be annoying and generally soothing in tone. For her father, a large cask of ale, specially gotten from his world, and an invitation to go for a drink with some of his old adventuring buddies Nine managed to track down (with help). -Words, aren't, sufficient. Just… thank you. So very, very much.-

Mir - Mir gets a fluffy blue stuffed rabbit, big and floppy and vaguely sleepy looking. -You've meant a lot to me over the years, and I still don't hardly know you. This saddens me. But all the same, happy holidays.-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/79 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Sanah - Sanah gets a fur coat, sleek and luxurious and ginormously huge, enveloping. -Don't worry, none of these things were sentient, in fact I think they're actually quite cruel, horrid little creatures, so stripping their skin off is sort of a civic duty- Her pokemon aren't forgotten, and get various amusing and useful trinkets, treats and toys.

Serori - A small, potted tree. It's not much bigger than a small ficus, but seems to grow full-sized fruit of a random nature, and rapidly replaces itself. And by a random nature we're talking berries and bananas and coconuts and things that don't grow on trees. The notes say that it needs more plant food than normal (it comes with a big jug of Miracle Gro) but other than that it seems pretty easy to take care of. -Not the best gift, I'm sorry. You've always been there for me, and I appreciate it, more than words could ever show.-

Camille Garcia - Cammi gets a hell of a dress, done in red velvet, brocade and lace. It looks like something one would find in the old west for more than anyone could ever afford in those crazy western movies, but it's a bit too flamboyant for the hot but reputable high class lady and a little too, well, modest for some of the soiled doves. It's pretty and wild and flamboyant and a little uncomfortably heavy, mostly in wine and black lace and cream underlayers. It also comes with a fussy little hat, a few pairs of tickets to various shows and a gift card to some real fancy restaurants. -You spend too much time in the medical bay. We appreciate you, we do, but go out and have yourself a nice meal every now and again and a nice time!-

Lucy Scarlet - Lucy gets… a teddy bear? It's a NICE teddy bear. It's big, and fluffy, with really expensive, not-quite-but-almost-real faux fur, and actual leather pads on the paws and on the nose. It's nice… but, it's almost an insult, really, on certain levels. -You may be this badass assassin, but you're also a little girl. Act like it every now and again, dammit. And don't tell me where I can live. I like it there. ;P-

Lotor - Lotor gets a Horned Stranger in a box. Very unpleasant thing, shrieking and spitting and trying to kick anyone who gets too close. -You and your weird fascination with critters, but, there ya go. I hope you appreciate it, and be careful, these things can kick like a motherfucker.- Cossack isn't forgotten, and gets a badass cavalry saber from the Civil War era, well maintained and fancy looking. -I still owe Lotor for cutting your head off that one time, I haven't forgotten!-

Katherine Quinn - Nine, obnoxiously enough, has gotten a set of adorable plushie… B.O.W.s. From Umbrella. The Licker is especially cute in a derpy sort of way, the Tyrant grumpy looking (disapproving Tyrant is disapproving), ect. -They're not so scary, see?-

Adelyn Lysen - Knowledge is power, and Nine aint known for his knowledge, so he gets Adelyn a reading tablet and a large gift card to Amazon, to find the readings she'd like to do as she sees fit -You're a great lady, but kinda scary. Remind me not to piss you off.-

Alex Nero - A box of really nice chamomile tea, a hand thrown, artistically glazed set of mugs and a bright shiny new teapot, a container full of sugar and honey and a crystal stirring spoon, and a note saying -They'll always be there, but if you try to calm yourself down, they're not as loud or as scary, and you'll be able to handle them better. Sometimes it's best to just find someone to talk to rather than toughing them out alone.-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/80 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Madame Machina - Machina gets a large horizontal wall-scroll of a cityscape and a set of about a hundred miniaturized felt buildings, cars and tiny miniature people. It's an entire cityscape, when the felt roads are laid out, and with the memory wire inside the buildings and other assorted pieces, they can be crushed flat and can, after one is done, pop right back up again. -I've had so much fun with these things, I figured you might too. You build giant monsters, but sometimes it's fun to just BE one. Try it out!-

Dr. Edgar Bleak - Bleak gets a complete set of Kaiju figurines, both the easy to find ones and the somewhat more difficult ones, and a movie to go with each. -You're not as big a monster as you think you are. Now THESE are big monsters. We should totally marathon these sometime and have the plastic figures fight. It's so much fun!- Christina gets a sleek and shiny darkly hematite-silver dress that goes beautifully with both her complexion and the color of her eyes. The note simply reads -I miss you-

Miaka - Miaka got part of her present early, namely Nine getting the crap kicked out of him by (a remarkably polite and professional) Tyrael, but the other part of the present isn't that far off from last year. A set of serious chocolates, Sees and Godiva and Ghiradhelli, a boxed set of nice teas of various sorts, a set of flavored cocoas, some chocolate coated cordials of different sorts, a bag of candied sunflower seeds, all wrapped in a hat, scarf and gloves combo and wrapped in a light flannel throw blanket. The note reads -I wish I could do more, wish we could do more. I wish I could show you how much we appreciate you, but I can't. So have some high calorie snacky foods. You're getting too skinny woman. :/-.

Cell - Cell gets a… censer? A little metal censer, intricately carved and made of some reinforced metal that's hard enough to be handled by him without collapsing, worked with complicated knotwork that's oddly soothing to look at. It's a chain model that comes with a floor stand and a large supply of assorted incense. It's also reinforced and slightly spiky if, say, he wants to use it as a chain mace. The note reads -I figured a lotta folks'd give you ways to make yourself stronger, but I didn't know if anyone'd give you a way to relax. Happy holidays man-

Prometheus- Prometheus is a man who appreciates his comforts, so Nine tries to make him comfortable. Since he has no idea how to do this, it seems to be a gift composed of several rather expensive and pleasant alcohols, whiskies by the look of it, a large pack of assorted incense, several jars of bath salts, soaps and oils, a memory foam pillow and satin pillowcase, satin nightclothes and some fuzzy slippers shaped like sleepy bears with big goofy overdone leather claws in front, seemingly lined with real fur (seems like rabbit). They ARE at least comfy. -Not sure what you find comfortable, man, come to think of it. Hope /one/ of these is anything close to the right mark.-

Nethryn Ervale - Nethryn gets a stained glass piece of wall art. It's, very, um, impressionistic. Of something. Not, well, defined. Kinda creepy looking, but pretty in it's own way, although it causes vague disquiet from staring at it that long.. -You're hard to shop for. :/ But thanks for all that you've ever done for me. I need to get to know you better. Happy holidays!-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/81 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Evelynn Cordelia - A sword-cane. Not magical, but fancy and ornate, the wood a rich dark brown and the head a rounded tip with a lot of silverwork and what looks like garnets on it. -Buying you this has made me realize I don't hardly know you, at least not enough. This saddens me.-

GLaDOS - It's a… snowglobe? The instruction manual calls it a Super-Spacially-Compressed Ultra-Miniaturized Portable Energy Generator. It does seem to have a set of plugs built artfully into the sculpted base for hooking it up to things. It shows what looks like a hill or mountainside honeycombed with mine entrances and hung with tiiiny little christmas lights, overall a cute enough but not overly picturesque vista, cloaked in dirty white. Shaking it produces a far-away chorus of tiny screams and cries for mercy amid a flurry of ammonia yellow snow. Winding the big old-fashioned key in the back lights all the little entrances up, starts the generator output, and, also, produces a chorus of tiny screams. The snowglobe reads 'Merry Christmas From Chiron Beta Prime!' and plays a tinny, familiar little tune. There's also a dozen roses, but the mix of red and blue looks kinda weird. -Not my best present, ever. I just wanted to say… I love you. And thank you. For everything.-

Elliana Fairchild - Beside the present she already has gotten, Nine has gotten her a… fur? Fur bedsheet evidently. Feels like… chinchilla, leading to a weird bumpy pattern but it does feel rather nice and soft to lay on, and damn warm to lay under, lined with shiny shiny satin on the underside. -We've, had, our rough spots, for, various reasons, but, despite that, despite everything, I would, like, to consider you a… friend. I'm glad you came over to our side of the fence. May your sleep be untroubled.-

Rose Petal - A dress. It's carefully chosen, managing to be neither overly adult nor stiflingly childlike, it's intricate, vaguely victorian and has a lot of layered lace, but isn't uncomfortable to wear at least. It comes with a pair of matching shoes that actually fit. -Don't you ever change. Even if you achieve your dream and become human, don't you ever change. You're a wonderful friend, and I don't know what I'd ever do without you… Happy holidays.-

Allan Bodily - Nine has about five weeks of paid vacation time saved up. He's gifted Allan three of them, along with a metal case full of drugs and needles. The drugs are powerful painkiller. That still might not work on him. Um. -Here's to hoping you are able to get some time off from work. We certainly appreciate you-

Bain - Bain, got, the most expensive gift, so he sort of wins. It's an… Aston Martin. Silver. A V12 Vanquish to be specific. One of the Bond cars, albeit not one of the earliest ones, or the latest ones. Should he actually sit in the thing, there'd be some things that aren't standard. Like the buttons for the tire spikes. Or the oil slick. Or the machine guns, or active camo. It's, a Bond car. With every trick that the movies (and books) had ever shown, crammed into one car. Plus some extras. Confederate Science Division and all that. Limited regeneration, automatic driving functions and enough electronics to serve as a self-driving mobile base should Bain choose to do his jobs on the road, with multiple 3-D mobile screens and full remote uplinkability. -Thanks, for an awesome time, in an awesome place, for an awesome purpose. I used the money to get this, well, most of this, so I hope this manages to be awesome enough for an awesome guy who likely has all the awesome things money can already buy. Here's to hoping-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/82 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Goro - Goro gets a finely tailored, wickedly comfortable satin robe, double sided so the embroidered kirin don't rub the skin, designed to his dimensions including the four arms, a set of soft, fluffy and very large fuzzy slippers shaped like thwomps complete with savage grimace (with bright red bottoms), a pair of large satin pillows (chocobo down and memory foam) and a few bottles of masculinely scented bath salts, soaps and other products. -You're an awesome guy but you go a hundred miles a minute. Take a moment to relax some, hey?-

Jinx - Sad when one can't be original. Another jacket, this one a fluffy pinkish pearl white and apparently bunny flavored, with big floppy ears and a poofy little tail and fluffy paw-cuffs around the ends of the legs. No scary claws this time. -You're a helluva gal, and don't you forget it. We're glad to have you here girly, and we always will be. Happy holidays…-

Kefka Palazzo - A set of novelty candles, shaped like children and ponies and puppies. They're cute and all, but the wick is usually somewhere high up on the upturned faces and the painted wax is a bright, bloody red. Oh, and they have ceramic skeletons inside, making burning them an exercise in an adorable little thing's face melting off to reveal a blood-slicked, bone-white skull and the rest of the skeleton, that, incidentally make adorable little figurines to put on the shelf after all the flesh- er, wax, had melted off. -You're hard to shop for, but these made me giggle and they might make you too-

Oersted - Nine's gone to one of the high-tech stores out there and gotten Oersted a …punching bag. It's more a standing bag, and due to decent if slightly low-end holographic technology, it can be made to not only look like someone, but also shows physical damage in the hologram, like he were actually beating up whoever he'd programmed it with. -There's more to you than you know. We're glad to have you. Thanks, man, for everything.-

Loros - Fail. Looks like the pact mage is hard to shop for, and so Nine has gotten him alcohol again. This time a set of warm, smoky liquors. -You're hard to shop for, you know that? Especially for those who, aint, as smart as you. But all the same, happy holidays-

Achryn Nanako - Achryn gets a nice fur for her floor, or wherever. It appears to be some sort of polar bear, or something the size of a polar bear at least, and it's wonderfully soft. -I still don't know what this thing is but it tried to eat me. Tasted pretty good, and I saved the skin. Happy holidays!-

The Gofer Sisters - RB gets a small crystal ball, in which is a suspended set of little lights that looks like a small galaxy. It, unfortunately, isn't, but it looks pretty. RB gets another little crystal ball, this one with the ability to read temperatures and project them on the sphere, like a mood ring that works for other people. They're both small and pretty and not too terribly important. Included in this is a big stack of paperback books, because books are information, right? -You're haaard to shoooop foooor-

Tesla Armadia - Tesla gets a small plushy armadillo that's stupidly adorable and a big fluffy blanket that's ridiculously comfortable and a body pillow that's just right for watching television -We need to hang out more, and by more I mean at all. Happy holidays!-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/83 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Laer - Laer gets an iPod, crammed full of music from around the more modern, non crazy fantasy areas of the Multiverse, mostly from the 70's, 80's and 90's, and some classical and the like. -Not sure what you like, if you'd like any of it, but hey, figured, why not. Not so good at this sort of thing for you more musical types-

Comrade Crush - Can't buy Crush anything so instead of spending money on it Nine makes him something. It's… a, stuffed, animal. It's a bear. And it actually looks like a bear, surprisingly enough, and stitched onto the side is the familiar hammer and sickle insignia, which given how sucktastic Nine is at most manual dexterity sort of things must've been a HELLUVA job for his big, clunky hands. The bear looks both grumpy and smarmy at the same time, even if the stitching is juuust a little clumsy. -You and your don't buy it mentality. Well here you are, hope you appreciate how long this took me you crazy communist you :P-

Harley Quinn - …A full sized, FULL sized Sweetums plushie, from the Muppets, complete with floppy hair, creepy big toothy grin and yellow eyes. It's dressed in a holiday sweater (a rather nice, non-scratchy one) and a rather nice holiday hat, both of which can be stolen/worn as additional presents. -I got you fraggles last year, so why not something of the same sorta thing? Maybe this can be your nurse, or you can pretend that people are hallucinating and pretend it isn't sitting there in your office, h-ha! Happy holidays…-

Envy - Envy gets a very large, grumpy looking stuffed hippopotamus that looks like it's staring at him disapprovingly the entire time. -Your way might not be my way, but it doesn't mean there isn't room for everyone in the Confederacy. Happy holidays.-

Anghora Khan - Anghora gets an entire roasted aurochs braised in wine and herbs and sent to her and her troops. -I'd try for something a little better but you're a bit of a hard lady to get to know-

Harmony - Harmony gets a pretty crystal windchime. It looks like quartz but produces gentle tones when brushed by the wind. It's rather large though. -I remember you, and all that you've done for me. Thank you-

Jung - Jung gets a ginormous stuffed unicorn plushie. No, really. Unicorn plushie. It's a soft rainbow color, primarily pinks and purples and yellows with a soft white mane and tail. It's floppy and goofy and utterly non threatening save that it's almost as large as she is, but makes a great pillow. -Calm down girl, you're among friends. Just take a deep breath and relax. It's going to turn out right in the end, you'll see-

Fran Madaraki - Fran gets a… Desert Chaser, stunned and drugged (essentially a human being reconfigured into a horse's proportions. It's uuuuugly.). It's still alive, so she can cut it up to her heart's content, with information on overriding the thing that makes them melt to creepy orange goo on death. -These are kinda biologically infectious, so keep it away from anything with mitochondria unless you want Interesting Times, but I figured you might enjoy this-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/84 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Lute - Lute gets… exactly what he'd expressed an opinion on, actually. A stack of adult videos, ranging from tame and almost tasteful to what. Nothing TOO weird/off/illegal, so it might well be tame from Lute's standards. There's a few games thrown in, and all of them are new, so nothing creepy there, at least. -Didn't know what you liked, so I just sort of took some stabs in the dark. Hope some of these do it for you man-

Tater - Tater gets a… gameboy? Yes, a gameboy, with a selection of games, the first one on the stack being Tetris. -This helped a friend of mine get through a very bad spot. Hopefully it'll help you too- Because she wanted food, Nine sends along a, LOT, of food, most of it apparently things he cooked himself. There's four or five bento boxes, some chow mein, a huge, aged steak cooked just to medium rare and packed in with an equally huge , fully loaded, baked potato, what looks like crab linguine, a ginormous roast beef sandwich and au jus, a stack of crab cakes with dipping sauces, a huge slablike slice of pecan pie, sliced layers of meatloaf and mashed potatoes, a rotisseried chicken and some sort of broccoli and cheese casserole, and a string of boudin, a pot of gumbo and a big container of boiled crawfish, potatoes and corn. -I tried, but I'm not sure what you like o.x-

Lance Benson - A robe, tailored for his body, including a split for the tail, done in a tasteful and complementary red and black and gold patterning, carrying some of the colors of his tail scales through. It has a set of fluffy slippers done like scorpions, with the tails wrapped round the back of the leg, but are actually surprisingly comfortable and cute with staring waify eyes. -I need to hang out with you more man, and, maybe, help you out more. You're going through a lot right now, but I hope to still consider you a friend. Thanks, and happy holidays-

Alia - Alia gets a scarf and a long, flowing jacket in her colors (salmon, right?) trimmed with slightly lighter colors so as not to be too monotonous. -No offense but robots are hard to shop for. I didn't know what you'd like! But here we go anyway, so, happy holidays.-

Jogun - Yoarhune gets about five or six various assorted animals (aurochs, wild boar, a mastodon) all carefully marinated and braised in wine and herbs before being roasted, and three big barrels of wines carefully selected to work with the various meat and her flavors. Jogun gets a thick leather trenchcoat, in white, cream, pearl and icy blue, leather gloves, aviator goggles and a really long, soft scarf that could wrap around an elephant's neck. -You and your pal are really awesome friends to have. Happy holidays…-

Carnage - Carnage gets the Morally Questionable Meat Assortment, including such gems as soysauce braised dogmeat from certain eastern cultures, specially treated with extra suffering to make it tender, softboiled endangered sea turtle eggs, steaks from rhinos and rare deer, whale bacon, tiny little nearly extinct birds from hawaii dipped in honey and roasted, illegal alligator sausages, things like that. -Enjoy dude-

Isa Reichert - Yeah, Isa gets alcohol. She gets a set of very expensive, very high quality vodkas. -I actually went to my world's Russia for you to get these, and let me tell you, I forgot how FUCKING COLD IT IS THERE. Hope you enjoy-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/85 Posted Author Fed B.O.W. Giftsmas Tue Dec 11 No. 9

Psalm - Psalm doesn't get booze, Psalm gets …something that she might well've wished was booze. It's a jacket. Well, more of a trenchcoat, the inside is lined with soft black fur and edged with considerably longer, spikier fur, like the ruff of whatever animal it'd come from was used to make it flare as far as it does, which is pretty far. The actual body of the coat is… this, gaudy, shimmery silver, stuff that's, semi, holographic? Looking? It's crazy and staring at it too long leaves the eyes sort of dazed, and when light hits it it is refracted into sparkles flares and crazy rainbow afterimages. It's pretty hard to look at, actually, um. -You rock, so I figured why not get you a proper rock jacket?-

Sniper Wolf - A set of assorted whiskeys and a weird, if comfortable jacket. The outside is festooned with green and brown ribbony bits like camo net on the back and sides while being comfortably padded on the front, going down sufficiently to cover the legs. It's also wonderfully warm and easily cleaned on the dirt-facing side, obviously designed for snipers. -Not sure if this is is your thing, but I figured, what the hell. If you don't want to use it in the field it's a good jacket besides, so, there you go-

Crimson Sea - Booze and treasure, yup. Although the booze might well be more varied than what CS is accustomed to, there's a lot of it, stuffed in among about twenty dollars in gold foil wrapped chocolate coins. Some actual strings of pearls and diamond necklaces and the like are mixed in, with some actual gold coins (and game tokens, ect) and, stuck in the middle of it all, is a large, ornate golden statuary. It's fairly hideous in it's own way and, from the weight alone, rather pure, and thus has been handled carefully enough it's not totally mangled.

Yaini - Yaini is introduced to the wide world of video games via a set of stacked game systems in boxes and an even bigger stack of games. -Failure doesn't matter, as long as you try. You're doing great. Keep it up!-

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/86 Posted Author A Promethean Christmas Wed Dec 12 Rose Petal

Mister Nine - A broom, a mop, several brushes, various cleaning supplies and a robotic vacuum cleaner - not a Roomba, though. Hidden at the bottom of the rather large crate is a five-gallon keg of 80-proof vodka. It's pretty high-quality, and the label is of some fancy Russian brand or other. "Your house is a tip. If you want people to visit you more, you need to tidy it up a bit." On the reverse of the note, it reads: "You are very dear to me, Mister Nine. But I don't know what to get you. So I decided to get you something useful." The note makes no mention of the vodka.

Jung - A bikini, oddly. The top is designed to look like a pair of coconuts. "Not really suitable for the current weather, but I'm sure you can find somewhere warm enough to go for a swim." On the reverse is a more personal message. "You are amazing. Never let anyone tell you otherwise."

Father (Susurrus) - A cookbook. Specifically, a cookbook dedicated to various types of breakfast foods - Rose has helpfully put a bookmark in the section on waffles and pancakes. There's no note.

Miss Miaka - A book, entitled 'The Mysteries of Alchemy'. It's from Rose's own world, and is a good primer on the sort of alchemy that Prometheans use. It also has an appendix on Promethean pilgrimage markings. "I hope this will be useful, or at least interesting."

Doctor Benson - A bunch of loose sheets of paper, helpfully numbered, with all sorts of notes, diagrams and musings written in messy handwriting. The page numbered '1' has a title: 'The Collected Notes of Doctor Victor Frankenstein'. Close study will reveal several insights into one of the lineages of Prometheans (specifically, the Frankensteins), as well as several general insights into Prometheans as a whole and the Divine Fire itself. "This took me ages to track down. It's not the original, but the writing is authentic."

Prince Lotor - A book that promises to teach its reader the intricacies of belly dancing, of all things. Accompanying the book is an outfit for said style of dance… sized to fit Lotor. The attached note merely states who it's from.

Prince Goro - A guidebook to her own world, Earth-411811. Of particular note are several werewolf territories she's picked out specifically, mostly in woodland areas of the United States. "Werewolves are among the most powerful warriors in my world. Perhaps you can find a worthy opponent."

Mister Balman - A bag of coal. But not just any coal - this is -gourmet- coal. Because apparently there are worlds with multiple people who eat it. "I was tempted to make a joke about you being naughty this year, but I couldn't think of anything. Merry Christmas. PS: I couldn't think of anything to get for your Pokemon friends, so I included a PokeMart gift coupon." Indeed, there's a voucher taped to the note, for a sum of approximately 80 dollars.

Miss Yunomi - A clockwork tanuki that, when wound up, does a little dance. It's not anatomically correct, thankfully. "You helped me. Or, at least, my world. Thank you."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/87 Posted Author Nasrinmas! Wed Dec 12 Nasrin

Even though Nasrin doesn't celebrate the holiday, it seems she'd like to participate in the giving of gifts, with all gifts coming with a small placard with just the stamp of a wild rose on it, in red:

Prince Lotor: returned, unopened, his gift, and a handwritten note: "My modesty prohibits the wearing of such a garmet, but thank you for your kindness."

Altair: A book, detailing many medicines and its uses — like blood thinners to keep someone bleeding, as well as ointments for healing of burns. On the binding, scratched into the leather is the seal of the Hashshashins. A small card is included: "My father sometimes spoke of the knowledge of his brothers. I do not know if this will help, but I feel it belongs in your hands. Know that my tongue rarely speaks what my heart is saying, thank you for your faith."

To Oddr: Polish, for his armor.

To Auron: Warm gloves and a warm cloak. "I know in Masyef it snowed, I cannot be sure of my mentor's new home. May these serve you well"

To James Braddock: A gift certificate to a coffee house in Seattle, Washington, Earth-448. "Apparently, they serve very good coffee"

Tp Katt: Ammunition. It looks like it'll work for her guns. "We seem some days more alike than we are different. I intend to keep my promise."

To Eleanor and the sisters: A very, very large plate of sweets. Candied almonds, pastries covered with pommegranate syrup, dough balls, fried crispy and covered in coconut shavings.

To Remillia Scarlet: A bolt of brilliant red silk fabric, patterned daintily with roses in a slightly darker red. "It seemed to match your decor. Regards, friend."

Sakura Kinomoto: A small plate of sweets. They're colored pink with pomegranate syrup and flavored with rose water. Drake Revar: A wooden sword. Its hilt has a wild rose carved onto it. "Someday, I will beat you, and learn enough to match your knowledge."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/88 Posted Author Blue Christmas Wed Dec 12 The Emperor

In answer to No. 9, The Emperor returns his scrapbook, with a few additional pages added. They show an alien landscape, doubtless the restored Annu. A note with shining blue letters reads…

I do not require sentimental objects relating to my own past lives. But you are welcome to join me if you grow tired of this fruitless conflict.

If you should desire to do so, use the token I left within the book.

A cobalt-colored bookmark trimmed in silver marks the page in which the note is tucked. It is invested with a small quantity of The Emperor's essence. Holding it offers instruction on how it may be used: If it is broken, it will draw the individual who broke it into the restored Annu.

There is a feeling of caution, though — it's a key that works only once, and the Gates of Horn and Ivory have not been restored. There is, by design, no way to return. Or for that matter, any other means of entry.

Three other, similar keys are distributed in the form of trinkets to Blossom Rose of Autumn, Psyber, and Amalthea. They are accompanied by no notes, but seem deliberately directed at those few who were most thoroughly used, useful to, or harmed by The Emperor's prior incarnation.

Unlike the tapes used to enter Viridian Sunrise's iteration of Annu, these are no good as arcane links or for opening portals. Attempting to use them as such causes them to immediately combust, consumed by crackling blue flames.

While No. 9's token took the shape of a bookmark, Rose's takes the form of a bell upon a choker, Psyber's takes the form of a single bullet (which curiously, seems to have no consistent caliber, but changes in accordance with whatever firearm he is handling at the time), and Amalthea's takes the form of a stress ball made to resemble Viridian Sunrise.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/89 Posted Author Holiday Cheer Wed Dec 12 Cecily

The gifts Cecily 'sends' out are few and far between. She's taken to more personal deliveries to those she intends to gift, though some do require they be sent rather than handed out in person. Some such gifts that are sent out are thus: Lotor - A simple christmas card, with a note and a picture. 'Thank you for the gift. I don't shop for such things myself, but it made me feel pretty. I also have someone I can wear it for.' There's a tasteful picture of her in the dancer's outfit, though the picture looks to have been taken by a shaky hand.

Noh - A life-sized(!) Totoro plushie is delivered with some effort to her current home. There are five-hundred little signatures to be found, written with indelible ink from. A card reads 'Thank you for helping take care of the children, we all appreciated it. May this companion keep you warm and safe.'

Ten - The gentle giant receives a giant quilt, warm and cozy, with five hundred squares. Each one is different. A memory card chip comes with it, containing five hundred little videos of a child holding up the quilt square they made and saying 'thank you'. The note that comes with it is another thank you card, 'Thank you for being their caretaker for so long. They've found safe homes, and are grateful for everything you've done. The quilt should be big enough for you and Seven, with room to spare.'

Priscilla - The half-breed is given a warm, soft fox plushie with a note that reads 'Thank you for the scarf. May you enjoy hugging this until you're ready for a real one.'

Seras Victoria - Seras gets a 'welcome to the Union' fox plushie, and a magazine of incendiary white-phosphorous shells for her gun. 'My this plushie help you acclimate to life in the Multiverse, and may these rounds help you warm the hearts of the evil ones you fight.'

A few other gifts have been given, and more will go out. Handing out gifts personally will ensure I don't miss anyone, and not leave anyone out. I'm happier to gift scenes and hugs with those I can.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/90 Posted Author Nightmare Before Christmas Wed Dec 12 Elliana Fairchild

Elliana is being a bit more attentive this year, but her gifts are few and far between.

Nine receives a basket with a kitten in it. The note reads: 'Mammals are difficult for me to work with, but I managed. This kitten will grow up soon, name her whatever you like. She should keep vermin out of your home, and the enhancements I made should keep your blood from having any detrimental effects. Rocky points aside, I still recall that you were the most welcoming and staunch defenders of my presence amongst the Confederate Elites, and for that I thank you.' The kitten appears mostly normal when the paralytic stinger in her tail isn't unsheathed, though the dosage isn't enough to do more than make a hand numb on a human. If Nine keeps her around long enough, he may also note that she eats mice and other small vermin by snatching them with a froglike tongue. She can still purr though.

Psyber will find a new watch. It looks quite old-fashioned, being a pocketwatch, but the underside of the lid has an indicator of the current moon phase as well. 'At first I was going to get you a gun. Then a car. But both of those are overdone. Unfortunately I cannot afford my third choice, which is a gun that shoots cars.'

Unyielding Rampart receives an alaborate fountain meant to go on a desk, with a soothing trickle caused when the water is flowing, and a place for a flower to be planted atop it. 'This may seem an odd gift for a swordsman and smith of your calibur, but it is intended to help you sleep better.'

Tender Whisper receives an elaborate bangle that twines up her arm, which is very decorative, made of silver. With a little Essence it produces small dots along its length, which will perform calculations as desired. 'Your husband(no matter how much he denies it) has been a great comfort, emotionally, in a time when I needed that. Frustrating as he can be at times, you are lucky to have him, and your tolerance and understanding of his antics is impressive. I cannot thank him without thanking you.'

Amalthea, Ariel, and Ellestaria will find their gift is a very carefully-drawn map leading to a valley in Elliana's world. 'From winter solstice to summer solstice, the flowers in this valley bloom and are one of the most incredible sights in my world. Your family would appreciate it more than most, and I can no longer visit for fear of ruining the blooms with my aura. Treat it well.'

Rose Petal will receive a lump of rare ore, and a delicate berry-producing shrub that happens to bloom with some very pleasant-looking flowers. 'The ore has unusual mystical properties, but is not my specialty. I thought you could use it in alchemy. It is rumored to have the power of elemental water, though does not seem mystical. The berry bush has no special properties beyond looking pretty and producing berries. Good luck in your quest.'

Kevin Graham will receive a songbird which has been 'twisted' with Elliana's powers. The twist is that the only ability gained is the ability to sing three songs at once. 'You may cure it if you wish, but I think in this case the effects are benign.'

Himei receives a large stuffed gryphon to add to her collection, along with a pair of reinforced, alloyed bracers to wear under her gloves. 'Like myself, you have had a difficult childhood. Perhaps if I had your strength, I could have found another way.'

Nathan Hall's package contains a complete, well-made suit of leather armor. All black. 'As promised.'

Evelynn Cordelia and Nethryn receive a joint gift in two parts. One is a decorative wall-mounted shield, and the other is… a set of bath towels? 'The shield is enchanted. Hold it together and think of your heraldry, and it will attempt to blend the two. The image will not set until both of you let go. Also, newlyweds can never have enough towels.'

Mir receives a number of books detailing popular folk tales in Elliana's world. 'I hear you enjoy a good story. These are not interactive, but perhaps you will find them of interest.'

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/91 Posted Author (Bone-)White Christmas Wed Dec 12 Skel

So, did everyone remember that Skel is an enchanter? Because she totally is one. Hence, most of her gifts are enchanted items.

Guu - Recieves a diamond pickaxe, enchanted to be unbreakable and to sometimes, roughly 40% of the time, allowing its wielder to get more material from mining operations than with a normal pickaxe.

Endria - The endergirl is given a gold ring that is designed to ward against fire and extreme heat. A note attached indicates it's in case Endria teleports herself into lava, again. She's also given a bat plushie.

Crepe - The creeper is also given a gold ring. The attached note indicates that it's supposed to ward away cats, but Skel isn't entirely sure if it works. The creeper is also given a melon and gunpowder pie.

Gespie - The eldritch abomination girl is given a diamond sword designed to be unbreakable and to make it easier to find alchemical reagents from monsters killed with it.

Summer Powers - Oddly, Skel has given a gift to someone outside her world. Summer is given a gold sword designed to knock enemies away when swung, with a note that maybe it'll be useful for making new weapons. There's also, oddly, a plastic figurine of Crepe, with the words "Forget-Me-Not" etched into the base. How odd.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/92 Posted Author Ghastly Gifts! Wed Dec 12 Gespie

They all come in a Minecraftian chest, left somewhere immediately available, with a sign nearby.

Crepe: A Mellohi record and six stacks of melon slices, along with three 'Healing II' potions. 'Best Friend!'

Skel: Her house is covered in item frames when she gets back. They have gold bars in them. 'Swords are awesome!'

Guu: A fire resistance potion, and several stacks of cookies. 'Careful with those minecarts!'

Endria: A full suit of black-dyed leather armor, a stack of fire charges, a gold sword, and a cake. 'Thanks for being the other best friend!'

Summer Powers: A box full of fermented spider eyes. 'Potions!'

Arthur Lowell: A set of iron Minecraftian tools. And a flint and steel. 'Heroes need stuff!'

Psyber: The box somehow arrives in the mail, covered in stamps. Gespie doesn't understand mailing systems. The box is full of Ghast tears, which are an obscenely useful ingredient for healing potions. 'I hate mailmen,' the sign says, stuck to the top of the chest with Slime goo.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/93 Posted Author Gifts from the Imperium Wed Dec 12 Karian

Gifts arrive to selected individuals, bearing two sigils. One the badge of the Space Wolves, and the second the mark of the Inquisition. Also attached to each is a note that says 'This gift granted with the approval of the Holy Inquisition. Accept these items, and remember….Heresy grows from Idleness.'

Yuna: Yuna would recieve armor. But not just any armor. It is the Armor of the Adeptas Sororitas. 'Lady Yuna. You are a stalwart friend and companion. Were you of the Imperium, you would easily be a Canoness of your own Sororitas Order. Wear this with Pride.'

Serori: A large case of 30 flasks, all made to Space marine size filled with Mjod, and about 20 pounds of fenrisian elk venison. 'Enjoy.'

Raven: Raven would recieve…..a harness for her thunderwolf. 'For your pup. It may take some time, but She will carry you through battle after battle. Be safe.'

Kamui: Kamui would recieve a coat made of Fenrisian pelts. Upon closer inspection, it would be Blackmane pelts. Also in the box would be a sword, crafted from Kraken teeth. 'We have a saying. To tame a Blackmane means you will never truely die when you pass through Morkai's gate. Wear this, and wield this blade with honor.' No.9: The King Golem would recieve two things. One, a large keg of Mjod. Two, a book with the skull gear insignia of the Adeptus Mechanicus. 'May the prayers of the Omnisiah keep you safe….and may our ale wash your worries away.'

Lotor: The Prince of the Drule would recieve a simple item. It was a shoulderplate. It was colored black and bore the mark of the Inquisition. 'Beware the Ordo Xenos, Fool Prince.'

Union as a whole: The entire union would recieve a book of Imperial prayers, both in the native languages of the union, and in Imperial gothic.

Confederacy as a whole: The entire confederacy would recieve a similar Prayer book, but the prayers inside would be beseeching the Emperor for forgiveness, Also in native languages and in Gothic.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/94 Posted Author Re: Gifts from the Imperium Thu Dec 13 The Emperor

The Emperor returns a significant number of the prayer books, with a small note card written in answer. It is lettered in brilliant cobalt bordered by silver, and reads:

My former subjects do not require My forgiveness. Perhaps you should ask forgiveness for the Imperium, and yourself.

Sincerely, The Emperor

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/95 Posted Author Laer's Gifts: Feds edition Thu Dec 13 Laer

These arrive through Confederate mail, wrapped up nicely and neatly.

The Materials: Each of them are given a simple(ish) instrument; Drums for Levi, a trumpet for Seikou, and a rather antique looking flute for Yami.

Loros: A chess set, carved out of jade and obsidian. It's a lovely and probably expensive gift, only slightly ruined by the fact that there are two obsidian pawns missing and one of the jade side's knight's horses is missing its head.

Mir: A collection of classic plays from Sigil, though the ones Laer has included seem to all have a bent towards the trashy and slightly cheesily romantic.

Chrysanthemum: A mostly empty box. Upon opening it the first time, Laer's laughter will sound, and there's a note included. "I couldn't think of what to get the woman who seems to be able to steal anything, but thought I should show my appreciation regardless."

Nine: A bronze scepter, suitable for either a low-rent king or a high-class bashing of someone's head. This one's note says "Don't fear having power. Make others fear you."

Psalm: A selection of sheet music, mostly for higher-class instruments or songs.

Tshallandria: Two iguana action figures, with real spitting action! Additionally, an offer of however much grist Laer can spare for any projects.

Cirno: A children's book on the history of Frog civilization. It appears to be entirely made up, but ending with the doom of a great ice age.

GLaDOS: A fruitcake.

Lute: The Evil Fruitcake of the Noble Horror Terrors.

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/96 Posted Author Along came a spider … Thu Dec 13 Black Arachnia

All of the gifts Black Arachnia sends out this year are in Cybertronian puzzle boxes. The only "clue" is which end is meant to remain up while transporting and solving them; they're shielded against sensor scans to prevent cheating, although those containers which need to pass through customs are tagged for inspection with frequency windows to confirm the contents' safety.

Most of the survivors of the Annu mission receive a small quantity (equivalent to the capacity of one standard shot glass) of Aldebaran whiskey, a.k.a. "the green stuff" (from a couple of Star Trek episodes). Each comes with a note warning the recipient to drink carefully; it's reputedly pretty strong stuff.

E18-A Orion gets, instead of whiskey, a map to some safe harbors for neutral machine entities, including ratings of refueling/repair facilities. It may be data Orion already has, but since he probably can't enjoy alcohol …

Karian and Tony Stark each get a full bottle of Aldebaran whiskey, on the premise that they can probably handle it. Stark's bottle is tagged with an additional note: "Do NOT let Banner near this unless you feel particularly lucky, and want/need to do some renovations. I don't know how well he handles his liquor and I don't plan to be there to see."

Altair gets a primer on how to identify exploitable weaknesses on cybernetic life-forms. Also a note: "We should meet sometime."

Optimus Prime receives a copy of Black Arachnia's usual annual update on Decepticon positions on Cybertron. Also, there's a generously large "decanter" of high-quality energon.

Shockwave: Despite his box being approximately the same volume as Optimus's standard trailer, all it contains is a Santa hat in Shockwave's size. The puzzle box in question, though, is at least a couple of orders of magnitude harder to open than the normal ones.

Solid Snake gets half a dozen "scout spider" drones, and a portable interface terminal for directing them and receiving data. It may be possible to cobble together a software interface that'll work with his Solid Eye System. There's also a snifter of fairly good brandy in there. Note: "This box is not recommended for infiltration purposes."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/97 Posted Author Radical Hearth's Warming! (1) Fri Dec 14 Rainbow Dash

Santa Dash has struck and finally gotten around to sending out her Hearth's Warming gifts. Each is wrapped in some different, prank-fashion wrapping, and has a note attached written in very untidy, quick writing.

Twilight Sparkle - A pair of dark, but really cool looking sunglasses. They're strong enough that they can be enchanted with magic spells, and will actually hold magic fairly well. 'Just because you're an egghead doesn't mean you have to look like a total nerd!'

Rarity - A small, but pretty sturdy karate kicking bag of her own. It can be attached to a floor or ceiling for either low kicks or high kicks. It's white. Bland. Plain. Just begging to be prettied up. 'Now stop trying to put sequins on the dojo's kicking bag.'

Applejack - A set of cleated hoofball shoes to provide extra traction on the hoofball court. They'll probably also be pretty useful for applebucking during the wet and muddy months or good for winter traction. 'You'll need some sort of advantage to try and keep up next running of the leaves!'

Fluttershy - For Fluttershy, it looks like Dash has temporarily given up on trying to make her more assertive this year, and instead has gotten her a brand new hoofball chest guard and helmet. They're padded so she doesn't need to use pillows anymore for her 'dragon fighting armor'. 'For when you're /not/ in your armor.'

Pinkie Pie - Pinkie gets more pranking supplies! As if she needed more. These apparently come from a magic pranking supplies shop because she gets a self-inflating whoopie cushion and a noise maker that makes a different animal sound each time it's blown.

Spike - His very own set of throwing horse-shoes! Presumedly so Dash can have someone who she can actually beat at the game. 'I'll totally take you on some time!'

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/98 Posted Author Radical Hearth's Warming (2) Fri Dec 14 Rainbow Dash

Mortimer Balman - A 20 bit gift certificate for Berry Punch's bar and a recipe for some Cloudsdale drink called 'Lightning in a Bottle'. One of the ingredients is actually lightning. 'I'm too young for this stuff, but you can tell me how awesome it is.'

Staren - Weirdly enough, a book! It's actually the Equestrian version of the Farmer's Almanac. 'This is what we use to schedule the weather. Now you don't have a reason to be surprised by what the weather is.'

Fayt Ravus and Nathan Hall - Six kit-kat bars each. 'You guys seriously need to take a break, so have a few on me.'

Yuna Kagurazaka - A ticket for an upcoming Sapphire Shores concert, featuring her new hit album, 'Equestrian Girls'. 'Thought you'd like to check out some Equestria concerts now that we've seen yours. She's okay, but I prefer rock.'

Vinyl Scratch - A record set of some of the Beatles greatest hits. 'Found these at the Multiverse mall place. They're okay, but they could use some serious wubbing up!'

Jinx - A pair of six sided dice, rigged so that they're /supposed/ to always land on a high number. That's the plan, anyway. 'Look, luck can always change. You just gotta keep trying.'

Serori - A pair brass rimmed, sturdy flight goggles. They're pretty durable, and are sized to work for either a human or a pony. 'You're still a jerk. But getting bugs in your eyes while you're flying seriously sucks.'

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/99 Posted Author Hearthswarming Gifts Pt 1 Fri Dec 14 Applejack

Every currently active member of the Union and Confederacy gets a slice of fresh apple pie. It would be a whole apple pie, but even Sweet Apple Acres doesn't have the resources for that. A few personal friends or at least people she directly knows get the following in addition to these pie slices, with hoofwritten notes attached:

Rainbow Dash gets a replica Wonderbolts flightsuit and a season pass for the Wonderbolts' Spring shows. "Had to go through a mighty big line to get these. Hope you enjoy them!"

Rarity gets a two-way train ticket to Canterlot. "I remembered how much fun you had last time you were there, so go take some time off to visit Fancypants and Floor da Leash. Funny name, that one. Who would name their foal Floor da Leash? Must be a distant cousin of Vinyl's."

Fluttershy gets a book entitled 'How to Face Your Fears'. It has a chapter on dragons. "You're surprisingly hard to shop for, so I hope you don't mind this."

Twilight Sparkle gets a catalogue from the Canterlot royal library, listing each and every book in there. "You probably already have most of these, but if you're missing something and need to know where to get it, here you go. Oh, I also got something for Spike. It was hard without magic, but I think he might like them." Also included are several decently sized gems, dug up from Equestria Fields. A ruby, emerald, sapphire, even a diamond are included in the mix.

Pinkie Pie gets a big pile of candy. "Knowing you, you'd probably just be happy with a balloon. But here you go, satiate that sweet tooth. Just remember to brush after you do."

Jinx gets a helmet and padded armor similar to what Fluttershy got from Rainbow Dash. "Seeing how much you crash into things even when you're just taking a walk, I think you'll need these more than Rainbow."

Vinyl Scratch gets a new set of speakers that go past 11 and straight into 12. "I hear these are the new big thing with musicians these days. Have fun!"

Bramble Patch gets some packets of assorted flower seeds. "Look, just lighten up, alright? Hope these help."

Nightmare Moon gets a lump of coal. There is no note attached.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders get a pile of stuff. "Keep trying. You'll get your QT marks eventually. Maybe something in here will help you."

Christmas - 2012 Message: 42/100 Posted Author Hearthswarming Gifts Pt 2 Fri Dec 14 Applejack

Yuna Kagurazaka gets a collection of Marelyn Maneson records. "I heard you like music, so I picked up some records. They're pretty popular, so I figure you might like them."

Staren gets a microscope. "I don't really get all that sciencey stuff, but I hope this helps."

Mortimer Balman gets a barrel of hard cider. "Don't go drinking it all at once, now."

Harley Quinn gets a pony plushie. It's not Applejack, but it's something to add to her collection. "Here, just stop bringing up that video, please?"

Tony Stark also gets a barrel of hard cider. "I think I heard you like this kind of thing too. I could be wrong, but at least you can share it with friends."

Bradley Carbunkle gets a box of chocolate-dipped apples. "Give some of these to that robot friend of yours. Even if she can't eat them, I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought."

Loki gets a book full of hip, new practical jokes. "Being the god of mischief and all, I thought you might like this."

Last but not least, Lotor gets a picture of Big Macintosh in the harem dress. He's blushing something fierce, and looks like he's trying to hide behind a tree. "You wanted to see someone wearing this, right?"