3518/The Cheese Stands Alone

The Cheese Stands Alone
Date of Scene:	13 December 2015
Location:	Southern Urbania
Synopsis:	Ziggy gets punished for almost knocking Inga over with a giant cheese wheel. Blurr and Staren are stumped. Hilarity ensures.
Cast of Characters:	Staren, Blurr, Inga, Ziggy Grover

---

Blurr has posed:
    Southern Urbania is home to many recreational activities: sports, museums, parks, you name it. Blurr is sitting in a curbside parking spot in front of the Robot Master Museum, where Ultra Magnus is giving a talk about mechanical lifeforms or something. There's a room in there that's big enough to house him....right? Right.

    At any rate, Blurr is -bored-. But you know, they always send someone, just in case something goes terribly wrong, or in case they get attacked. That's just how it is. It's protocol. So here he is, repeatedly scanning people who happen by range of his sensors, to determine if they are a potential threat. Let's see, handgun? Knife? What is that? Makeup? Bandages? Nope, this isn't creepy at all.

Inga has posed:
Inga is lost again. One could not imagine she'd come to a place like this willingly. She looks rather out of place in her extremely old fashioned clothes (circa 786!) staring in the window of an electronic shop, eyes wide.

Ziggy Grover has posed:
Trying to sort out exactly the science for timing to leap onto and off enemies looked like a perfect exhibit for a Power Ranger. Especially a relatively non-trained one like Ziggy Grover.

At least, it would be perfectly ideal if Ziggy had actually entered the Mushroom Kingdom Science Center.

Unfortunately for Dr. K, Ziggy could actually read, and somehow, the notion of cheese rolling was far more appealing.

o/~ Rolling, Rolling, Rolling... here comes the cheese... o/~ Ziggy hummed as he managed to get the large wheel of cheese onto its edge and pushed it... at least until he stumbled just a bit, and it kept rolling... and rolling and rolling...

Whoops.

Slinking off quietly, tiptoeing away as the cheese crashes into a wall, Ziggy chooses the usual 'retreat before getting in trouble for yet another f***-up...

Staren has posed:
    Staren is here, late, to see Ultra Magnus's talk. As he skates along the ground towards the Robot Master museum he stops and stares.

    Oh.

    My.

    God.

    That is an adult-sized playground. That is /amazing/. That is /Brilliant/. Staren makes a note to come back here later.

    As he turns back towards the Robot Museum, he sees Blurr checking the line and waves, and conveniently not only is the electronics shop Inga is looking at right across the street, but Ziggy just happens to be slinking in this direction! "Hey guys! Are you all here for the talk on robots too?"

Blurr has posed:
    Scanning...scanning...scanning...back and forth, up and down. Ugh, so boring! Blurr hates it. He almost wishes someone would try something funny, just so he'd have something exciting to do. But that's what he spots Inga. Oh, he knows her! She looks lost, so he'd better help her! Yes, that would be better than just sitting here doing nothing but scanning. He will keep scanning, of course, but more in the background.

    So then, that blond-haired and teenaged looking holomatter appears behind her rather abruptly though he does not intend to startle. "Inga?" it greets, then turns to Staren as he approaches. "Kind of, I'm sort of the security." he explains, sounding somewhat tired.

    Meanwhile, the cheese rolling managers aren't very happy. Several of those working the event go running over to the wall, cursing. Thankfully, Ziggy's managed to slip away before they went searching for the one responsible.

Inga has posed:
When Inga woke today, she was ready for many things to possibly happen to her. After all, things have been mad ever since she'd come to the multiverse. But getting almost rolled over by a giant wheel of cheese was definitely not in the plan.

Inga turns when she sees something out of the corner of her eye. Those eyes widen as a giant cheese rolls toward her. She throws herself out of the way, but not being the dexterous sort, falls over in the process, probably into mud, because it is just that kind of day. "Odin's bones!" she curses, looking around for the culprit, glaring.

Ziggy Grover has posed:
Inga should have a relatively easy time figuring out who the culprit is, the man looking guiltily futile as he walks away in a green shirt and a black leather jacket from roughly the direction where the big wheel of cheese has come from.

Whistling idly 'innocently' as he passes Blurr, Ziggy pauses long enough to look down at the robot car. Oh man, he knew that guy... wait, who did he just bump into?

"Excuse me, sorry, just looking at the big robot," Ziggy says, grovelling quite abjectly, his hands up and waving as though to ward off anything that might be coming his way.

Staren has posed:
    "Woah!" Staren starts to speed up as he spies the wheel of cheese headed for Inga, but she dodges safely. Only to end up in a mud puddle. He approaches and holds out a hand to help her up. "I have something that can clean that up... was that really a giant wheel of cheese?"

Blurr has posed:
    Blurr peers over at the giant cheese, which is now wedged into the wall of an adjacent building. A bunch of people are standing over there, probably the owner of the neighboring shop, and the sports event manager and a bunch of other employees. They're all arguing vehemently. Now just look what you did, Ziggy.

    "Uh, I..." he pauses, analyzing the giant wheel-shaped thing. "It's made of a bunch of Earth wildlife products and other organic stuff. If that's what cheese is, then maybe? You okay, Inga?"

Inga has posed:
He's about to have an Inga coming his way! Inga narrows her eyes toward the guilty looking figure, frowning deeply, a curse on her lips. Which curse, she wonders? How about a tongue tied curse? That'll do nicely. Quick and easy.

Inga chants to herself, then flicks her fingers toward Ziggy. He will soon find that all his words come out as complete, clumbsy jibberish.

"Hmph," Inga says, then looks over to see Staren's hand extended to her. She takes the offer of help to her feet, looking down at her dress. "Lovely...well, it is good to see you Staren. Is that what it was? Cheese?" she asks, looking after the object. "I have half a mind to take it home...but I do not think it would fit in my bag," she says, pursing her lips thoughtfully.

Then, a car is talking to her! She looks over, wide-eyed. "Blurr? Hello...yes, I'm fine, thank you."

Staren has posed:
    "Cheese is..." Staren starts to explain, then realizes that he'd probably have to explain milk too, and who knows what else. "...Yeah. That."

    Inga mentions taking the giant wheel of cheese home but that it wouldn't fit in her bag. "We could cut out a big slice or two for you?" he suggests, and pulls a little spray-can from his bag, motioning with it towards her dress. "Cleaning spray, to get the mud off?" he offers.

Blurr has posed:
    Of course, at this very moment, as Inga casts the curse, one of the cheese-rolling event managers comes storming over to Ziggy. Yes, they saw it! "Excuse me young man, but you were responsible for that runaway wheel, weren't you?" he asks, sounding indignant. "Did you read the rolling contest safety guidelines?!"

Ziggy Grover has posed:
"SGdshh, sfshyurw, teyosuu!" Ziggy exclaims, motioning at the wheel of cheese. "Osiivs tehhsscppsi ... scsah sfcao!!!" He points at Inga. "SSsfs! Sisiu'sa paooo!"

Pause. "WJSsuy? asuteyw lasooo afsa sioii aoo?" He runs a hand through his hair, then looks down at his jacket. "sfasu8 ziiii Sappooo?" He sniffs at his armpits. Squints. Shakes his head. "Sfs988!!! WJSuys? asuteywa saioii?"

Inga has posed:
Inga sighs to Staren, lifting her arms away from her dress, looking resigned. "Very well, may as well," she replies. "As for the cheese...yes, that would suffice.

Inga looks sidelong toward Ziggy as someone grills him on his cheese rolling safety violation, looking extremely self-satisfied with his current predicament.

Ziggy Grover has posed:
That the event manager was glaring at Ziggy had not escaped his notice; Fresno Bob couldn't have done a better glare, especially after one of his usual clumsy messups, but the utter look of bafflement on the man's face that followed was something that didn't make sense. Since he was certain he didn't smell, and had already risked life and limb by using Dillon's deodorant, he was certain it had to be...

"Shusuvcs... shgfhs psosiii!" he says, motioning to the cheese wheel, before holding his nose and waving a hand as though trying to fan the bad odor away. "Svdjkj!!!"

Of course, -now- Dr. K had to beep him on his communicator.

"Ranger Green, your vitals are showing signs of agitation. What is going on...?" Dr. K speaks, through the comm, as Ziggy holds it open.

"Opoos! SPooca.. soooo! Svcskkkk!"

There was a brief pause, and then a puzzled "What?"

Staren has posed:
    Staren looks at Ziggy. "Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh." he says. "...Did the translation effect just break down?" That's fascinating, but first: He sprays Inga's dress. Nanomachines set to work removing the mud. It's not especially fast or anything, but eventually it will be as clean as if just washed.

    Then Staren turns towards Ziggy. "Now, let's see... first of all, can you understand me? Can you understand any of us?"

Blurr has posed:
    No one but Inga appears to be the wiser when it comes to the witch's gibberish spell. Blurr's avatar just stares at Ziggy. At first, he wonders if something has suddenly gone wrong with his emulator? But...that doesn't make any sense! Then the realizes the other humans are staring at him too. "What the smelt's wrong with him?"

    "What in the hell?" The manager exclaims. "Kid, you need to go to the hospital. But first, you need to give us your parents' contact information so our lawyers and insurance agents can make sure we get what we're due."

Inga has posed:
Inga looks down at her dress, stunned. "Now, that is a very useful sort of magic," she comments, lookin at the clean fabric. "Think of the time I would save on laundry..." she shakes her head, looking up. She smirks slightly, wondering how long she should let this go on for. It is quite amusing, but she doesn't want to cause him /too/ much trouble...

Well, she'll just wait for him to apologize then.

Ziggy Grover has posed:
"Sjaso....!" Ziggy exclaims, at the communicator, before looking up at the event manager, then Staren. "Sufsi... csalll!"

"... Ranger Green, your vitals are apparently fine. Your brain waves are functional... at least, for your normal levels. I show no signs of any probable cause of aphasia, nor are you sick. If that voice I hear in the background is an adult, would you please put him on?"

Ziggy's face squints. Aphasia? What is... "Sfsk?" Pause. His face shifts from puzzlement to surprise to a complete look of WTF. "WHSHS?" Oh, it's sunk in he -is- speaking nonsense. He looks up at the event manager, offers a sickly grin, points at the communicator. "Sfshha... sajjj waaas tasss oapp."

The communicator is offered up to the manager. "Ssahh... ssakkk!"

"Please excuse Ranger Green. Normally he can talk more eloquently than this... at the very least, more eloquently than Ranger Black. Would you care to explain what happened?"

Staren has posed:
    Staren nods to Inga, "I know, right?" then pockets the repair spray, and scrutinizes Ziggy. Finally he pulls out what looks like a flipphone with crystals on it, and looks through it at Ziggy. "...Huh. There's some kind of magic on him. But from where?"

Blurr has posed:
    "Hmph! Are you this young man's parent?" The manager demands, sounding very impatient. "He has ignored the cheese rolling safety protocols and rolled a large wheel of cheese into the wall of one of the zoo gift shops, and it has caused extensive property damage!" He really is -not- happy about this. "But as soon as we demanded an explanation, he started spouting gibberish at us! Tell him that this is no game!"

    Blurr peers at the device Staren is holding up. "That's what I thought, wasn't picking up on any unusual energy readings." He glances at Inga. Because you know, she knows more about this stuff than he does!

Ziggy Grover has posed:
"I am his -mentor-," Dr. K responds over the comm, as Ziggy eyerolls at the thought, making flapflapflap gestures with the hand not holding the device. "And Ranger Green, if you continue to make those gestures, you -will- have dysentry for at least a week."

Ziggy promptly stops.

"In any case, I assure you, if he is speaking gibberish, that is not his normal state. Breaking safety protocols and extensive property damage, however, certainly is a normal state of affairs. Ranger Green, I presume you can understand everything. I also read multiple people around you, so if there is someone who might have witnessed anything, please speak... I'm sorry, allow me to speak to them. Do you understand?" The last line is delivered with just the right note of condescending tone, as if a mother were admonishing her wayward child, to which Ziggy frowns, mouthing BLAHLBLAHBLAHBLAH with just enough tongue action to make a frog proud, before looking about. Staren, Inga... perfect! Holding the communicator out, Ziggy makes flapping gestures with his free hand as if to talk to that voicebox, before going to peer at Inga, looking, before making a shrug of his shoulder, and an OK? sign with his free hand. "ASHSjj?"

Inga has posed:
Inga sighs heavily, leaning on her staff. Well, fun has been had. She doesn't want him to get in serious trouble after all.

Inga flicks her hands in Ziggy's direction, undoing the curse. "You could have well apologized for nearly running me over," she says, then looks to the the man scolding Ziggy. "He's my brother and he's a bit addled in the mind I'm afraid. Let me take him home. I'll be sure he understands his infraction and that it doesn't happen again," she tells him, taking Ziggy by the arm. "Come along dear brother, let's go on home. I've made a pie," she says, and tries to steer Ziggy away.

Staren has posed:
    Staren reaches for the communicator. "Umm, hello?" Staren asks, and then Inga swoops in to try and smooth things over. "Uhh, yeah." he nods to the manager. "Here, let me get that cheese out of your way." He smoothly draws the matter manipulator from under his coat and zaps the giant cheese wheel into its inventory, then stows it away again as he turns to walk away from the scene of the crime. "Hi, I'm Staren of the Union." Staren says into the communicator. "Maybe you've heard of me? Anyway, Ziggy seems to be under some sort of magical effect."

Blurr has posed:
    "Bah! Sister, mentor...-someone- has to pay for the damages!" The manager insists. "We are not liable, because he wasn't following the safety protocols!" Then Staren seems to just -zap- the cheese wheel back to where it belonged. "Hey wait!" he exclaims as Staren walks away. "Can you fix the damage to the wall with that thing?"

    Blurr sighs. Pfff, humans. "Hey, calm down pal. We'll take care of the damage to the wall, okay?" As he speaks, drones that had been deployed from an Autobot vessel in orbit descend from the sky and get to work quickly repairing the wall. "See? It'll be done in no time." Finally, -finally-, the guy does calm down, seeing that the damage will be taken care of. He walks away, though he still gives Ziggy a dirty look before doing so.

Ziggy Grover has posed:
"Magic." Dr. K's voice is flat, annoyed, as she processes this. "Have you located the source of the magic, then?"

Ziggy gets hauled away, with a "Huh? Wait, you're not my sister, how... hey. Am I talking normally again? Aahhh! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was trying to get out of there before they decided to make me lose a finger or an ear, you have no idea how fanatic some of these cheeseheads get...!"

Inga has posed:
Inga keeps steering him away as Blurr has his little robotic minions repair the damage. "I assue you, angering a witch is much more dangerous," she tells him, patting his arm and giving him a positively predatory grin for a moment.

Once away from the constable or whatever he was, Inga lets go of Ziggy and smoothes her skirts. "A learning experience, yes?"

Staren has posed:
    "Uhh... Maybe?" Staren replies, and turns, starting to reach for the matter manipulator, but then drones take care of it.

    Dr. K asks if he knows where the magic is from. "Uhh, no..." Staren starts to reply, and then Ziggy talks! "I think Inga just cured him, actually!" He passes the communicator back to Ziggy.

    His ears twitch as he processes her words. "Wait, /you/ did it in the first place? ...Well, I suppose it's understandable, since he almost ran you over with a giant cheese wheel."

Blurr has posed:
    "I doubt they would've cut off any of your appendages." Blurr replies to Ziggy's defense. "You should have just owned up to it and apologized immediately, then they probably wouldn't have gotten mad." Which is totally what he would have done himself. Not.

    "A witch?" He looks a little puzzled at Inga's comment. Then he gets it. "Ooh. I wondered if it was you. You had a look on your face." he smirks.

Ziggy Grover has posed:
"Uh... a witch? But... but you don't -look- like a witch," Ziggy responds, leaning close to look. "Wow. Um. Sorry. Say, you're not going to turn me into a frog or anything?"

"It would be an improvement," Dr. K says flatly, as the communicator approaches with Staren. Reaching out to take the comm back, Ziggy flashes an ingratating grin. "Sorry about that. Uh, the cheese got away from me. Um, hey, Ziggy Grover. The lovely person you've been speaking with is Dr. K. Uh... Blurr, vouch for me, will you?"

Inga has posed:
Inga nods, hands resting on her rune carved staff. Honestly, he knocked over a woman who has trouble walking as it is with a giant cheese wheel and tries to walk away? He's lucky to get out of this encounter without a horrible warts or worse.

She does smile to Blurr however, before looking back to Ziggy. "I will let you make it up to me," she informs him.

Inga tilts her head as she is examined. "It is not the term I would generally use but I find many think it appropriate. Witch, wisewoman, Seer..." she waves a hand dismissively. "Turn you into a frog? No, though that is an interesting thought..."

"Ahem. Inga Freyjasdottir," she introduces. "It has been...interesting, meeting you, Ziggy Grover," she responds with a small smile.

Blurr has posed:
    "The cheese got away from you?" Blurr chuckles when Dr K seems to approve of the frog transformation. "Are you blameshifting?"

    "Read the safety protocols next time, I guess." he shrugs. "I didn't even know humans liked to roll huge pieces of their food around."

Ziggy Grover has posed:
"Enchantress?" Ziggy suggests, that 'please don't hurt me' smile still plastered across his face.

"Uh, yeah," he adds as a response to Blurr. "You know how it is? When it rolls, it keeps rolling...? And then suddenly it's keeps going faster than you can run, and well... I mean, you know how it is when something moves faster than... why am I telling you this? You'll probably tell me that nothing's faster than you."

"Ahem. Ranger Green, if you're quite done with displaying your stunning lack of insight, it is time to return. I trust your visit to the center demonstrated the importance of trajectory and timing?"

"Uh, about that, Doc... um... you know what, I'll go right there right now." Ziggy offers a sheepish smile at the others. "So, uh... you heard the doc, I have something I'm supposed to be doing..."

Staren has posed:
    "...Can you actually do that?" Staren comments, on the turning into frogs. "Well, for a start, he got you a giant cheese wheel." Staren observes about how Ziggy can make it up, patting the matter manipulator under his coat."

Inga has posed:
"Yes yes...well, be more careful nex time," she tells Ziggy.

Inga looks to Staren. "Not that I am aware of--but give me time," she says to Staren with a grin. "Yes, well...I'll put the cheese to good use."

Consequently, everyone is gettin cheese platters for Yule.

Blurr has posed:
    Blurr just stares blankly at Ziggy. Nope, nope, and nope, he doesn't know! "Nope, you're absolutely right, nothing is faster than me, and certainly not a giant thing of...uh.." What was it again? "Cheese." he finishes. "So can't say I do."

    Ah, too bad Blurr doesn't eat cheese. He'll give it to his human friends.