3616/Let Him Eat (Fruit)cake

Let Him Eat (Fruit)cake
Date of Scene:	06 January 2016
Location:	Dun Realtai
Synopsis:	Sanary has obtained the dreaded fruitcake. Yari is afraid it's poisoned. Gawain volunteers to test this. It's worse than they could ever imagine.
Cast of Characters:	Sir Gawain, 691, Sanary Rondel

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Yari Takane (691) has posed:
Yari is here in the hall, with a hastily thrown on kimono and hair that's still wrapped up in a towel. Even her favorite time of the day, roman baths time, can be cut short for two of her favorite Elites.

The ninja has a cut of various poison making and identifying materials in her kit, as well as several bottles of water and other implements just in case poor Gawain really /does/ get hurt. There's also a camera. She wasn't kidding about wanting to see the effects. Booze and food too. The ninja-lizard is making an outing of it.

"I still think this is an awful idea, Mister Gawain. Please promise us you won't die." Pause. "Err, again." Cough. Awkward.

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     A mysteriously burnt box shows up at Sanary's door. What's the first thing she does? Make sure it's not going to explode, first. She's not /that/ dumb. But once it's confirmed to not explode? It's time to crack it open and see what's inside!

     A cake. A really... Brown, somewhat stiff cake. Surely it couldn't be poisoned, right? Except it might be, which is why she's arriving in Dun Realtai today. She's not quite sure about letting someone outright sample the stuff, but Gawain /was/ pretty determined, so... Maybe it'll be fine.

     "Worst case scenario, I can heal him up and.. I dunno. Load him up with mana or prana or whatever." The healer chuckles and claps a hand against Yari's shoulder lightly, looking like she hasn't showered yet at all today! Her hair's still a mess, but at least her clothes are clean. The cake is set on a table carefully, and she steps back to let the Servant go to town!

     "And if it's not poisoned... Should be good, right?"

Sir Gawain has posed:
A large man stands over Sanary and Yari, eyes full of unstoppable determination, a very large cleaver in his hands. He looks over the two ladies, before raising the blade into the air. And then...

Sir Gawain cuts the cake into very neat pieces, seperating them slowly. Wiping off the cleaver and putting it down on the table, the knight begins inspecting a piece of cake, his eyes scanning it for edibility, ingredient content, and poison content. "Hmm...on a glance, it looks safe to eat! Thanks for the meal!" Taking a bite of his piece, he chews, tasting all the flavors of the cake. And then, he stops dead. Silent. Is he alright?

"This tastes...odd. The texture is like a brick. Hmm...it's not too bad..." Time will tell if it's poison or not, though! ...Probably not, but it sure is fruitcake.

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
Yari makes a mental note to drag Sanary off and shove her under water to fix that hair problem. That's for later though! Right now, there's possibly poisoned cake of dubious quality. The ninja peers at it as though it might suddenly sprout a mouth and try to devour them all.

"I suppose that's true. Keep your eyes open." If anyone's going to poison Gawain, it'll be her, not some nutjob sending terrible poisoned cakes. At least give the man poisoned booze, seriously.

Gasp! In comes a Gawain, slicing that poor, defenseless(!?) fruitcake to shreds! One piece is stolen by the ninja, and she goes to dissect it. Into her kit it goes for further testing!

Yari's up as Gawain goes silent, and stops dead! "Gawain! Are you alright!?" She's recording with her hand while her tail steadies the man!

Yari checks for a pulse, then breathing! "Any side effects? Burning veins? Hallucinations? Numbness of limbs? Head about to explode?"

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     ... A brick?" Sanary looks from Gawain to the fruitcake, then to Yari, then back to the fruitcake. On the plus side, he did actually manage to separate it, so it couldn't be all bad. And he wasn't keeling over yet, but... Did Servants function the same way as non-Servants did regarding poisons? Picking up a piece, the healer eyes the hunk of brown, dried... Substance skeptically before turning back to Yari.

     She might be on to something, actually. Turning back to Gawain, Sanary goes right up to the massive servant and looks him over carefully. Who needs personal space? Not this girl! She holds four fingers up, peering a little more closely at his face and even standing on her toes to do it.

     "How many fingers am I holding up? What is your name?" She moves her hands from side to side as she says that, going aaaall the way from one side to the other and back again.

Sir Gawain has posed:
While Sir Gawain is not actually dead, it is hard to tell that. His eyes are almost blank as he finishes chewing, and his skin is pale and cold. He is breathing, however, quite normally, and his pulse is fine. "Nope. No! Nah. Nuh-uh. Not right now. It does feel like my soul died a bit, though! I don't know how something could have no taste, and yet, taste entirely foreign...I do not believe this is poisoned!"

As Sanary waves her fingers in Gawain's face, he grins. "Four fingers, and I am Sir Gawain, of Lot and Orkney, Knight of Dun Realtai!" The knight finally finishes his piece...before passing a piece to each of the two girls, taking another one for himself. "Well...this was a gift, wasn't it? It'd be rude to not finish it, especially since it's not poisoned!" Despite his cheer, it is probably easy to tell that Sir Gawain is scared. He is very, very scared, about eating another piece of this cake.

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
Reeeach. Yari touches poor Gawain's forehead with some tippy-toe action after Sanary looks the man over too! Clammy, grey, and awful. She looks to Sanary.

"...Are we certain it didn't turn him into a zombie?"

Peer. "Are you hungering for brains, Mister Gawain? This is very important. Also I would like to state that I am not tasty nor do I make an excellent side dish." Nod nod. Then, she sighs. Gawain tests to still be Gawain. That's a relief.

And then Gawain does the unthinkable. He uses /hospitality/ and friendship to foist that evil, brick of a 'cake' to them both. Yari steels herself, horror clear on her face as she peers at the thing. A deep, deep sigh.

"For the honor of my Mother and Empire, even this horror isn't too much for me! Nnn!" She adds triumphantly, then stabs a kunai down! Slash cut cut slash! ...The kunai's tip breaks off. Frown.

"Ganbatte." CHOMP! Chomp chomp chomp! It takes several nommings of lizard teeth to devour that slice, but she does it. And immediately, her face goes /green/. Eyes go wide.

"Nn...nnn. I am uterly defeated!" THUD. Right to the ground, green and taken out by the power of fruitcake.

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     ... Well. What's the worst that could happen? Besides dying in horrible constant pain, anyway. Sanary takes the piece with only a moment's hesitation, her gaze going from it to the others before she shrugs unsteadily. "If he did turn into a zombie, he'd probably be eating us right now."

     Unless this really is a trick. But Yari's going for it, so Sanary's fate is sealed. It is time. NO REGRETS. "... Ah, it'll probably be fine." And she takes a bite at the same time as the ninja! It's a very slow, labored one as it takes her quite a while to even summon enough willpower to get her teeth through that substance, and yet longer just start chewing. She can feel every piece of it, too: The individual pieces of fruit, the cakey gunk in between those pieces, and the slightly shiny exterior.

     She can taste the shiny. WHY. From the looks of it, Yari's taking the shiny even harder than she is.

     "It's... It's not horrible, I... Guess?" She's really stretching just to even say that without putting the rest of it down. When she realizes there's still the rest of that piece left, though... She dies a little inside. And yet...

     Sanary goes for a second bite. Oddly enough, that one isn't as soul-rending as the first. She squats in place to give the Au Ra a light nudge. peering at her with an oddly distant gaze rather than anything resembling worry. Did something important in her die already? "... You gonna finish that?"

Sir Gawain has posed:
Sir Gawain is probably not maybe a zombie. He does not seem to have an interest in brains. He does seem to have a very odd interest in fruitcake, despite also obviously dreading its existence. He takes another bite of his piece, chewing slowly, who looks over Yari. "Are you alright, Lady Takane? Would you like some more fruitcake?"

Sir Gawain will probably not remember this too much tomorrow.

Yari Takane (691) has posed:
Yari can't even make lizard noises as she's being poked. No, she makes /turtle/ noises.

"...No more. I can taste the colors! And they're all bland and spiceless! I think my culinarian skills committed suicide in my soul."

Then, the poor ninja is out for the count, eyes all swirly and her soul attempting to not implode in on itself. She feels invaded by pure shiney and the epitome of awful. On the bright side, there will be plenty of fruitcake for Gawain and Sanary left to 'enjoy'. The ninja is clearly out of the competition.

Yari barely hears Gawain at first. Then, some very, very particular words hit her brain enough to draw her out of her evil cake induced stupor.

'Would you like some more fruitcake'.

Leaping up with sudden energy, she does a triple-flip, lands on the tip of one of the Great Hall's fireplace pokers, and stands tall! Kunai flash out, impaling the devil fruitcake into neat, bite-sized pieces. "....I'll have to respectfully decline Mister Gawain. I'm glad we're not all poisoned."

SUDDENLY SMOKE BOMB! And then Yari is gone. To drink away the memories of that horrid, horrid baked chthulian monstrosity.

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Under any other circumstances, Sanary would be pretty impressed by Yari going from a near-death state to suddenly flipping out and stabbing things all in the span of a minute. But the fruitcake...

     The fruitcake. It beckons. "The colros are.. The colors are alright. Just gotta... Chew them harder." Is she even trying to make sense any more? Who knows. All Sanary knows is that she's shoving more of that fruitcake into her face. Chew, chew, chew, repeat twelve times, swallow.

     And then Yari's gone. That leaves... The rest of the fruit cake for herself and Gawain, doesn't it?