3195/Healing Heart

Healing Heart
Date of Scene:	12 October 2015
Location:	The Citadel - Medical
Synopsis:	Starless helps Sanary with getting over some of her trauma. Probably.
Cast of Characters:	336, Sanary Rondel

---

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    It's sudden, yet not. As if it haad been that way for a while, as if everything were normal. Such is the way with dreams, isn't it? The aroma of fresh tea is in the air, with a low table in front of Sanary, and a kindly aged woman pouring the tea. It's all subtly altered to be easy for Sanary to interpret, letting her own mind fill in the details. Starless won't see said details, but that isn't important.

    "How are you feelings?" she asks mildly. It's a simple question, but despite the trappings that seem soothing, Starless doesn't hesitate to make some harsh guesses. "Horrified? Regretful? Angry? Hateful?"

    it can't immediately wash away the idea of the shock that Sanary has gone through, but she's betting that the change in imagery might startle an answer out.

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Sanary's mind is in a rather fragile state at the moment. Constant self-doubt, festering anger, fear of the unknown... It's probably no surprise, then, that the sight of the table in front of her with that tea just waiting there is rather calming to her. It's a familiar table and a familiar scent, and she doesn't even question why they're there at first.

     At least, not until she hears that voice. Even in her own dreams, Sanary is still in a daze, and she just keeps staring at the tea. "I... C-could be better. All... All four?" She utters weakly with a single low laugh, although it's quite clear that she's anything but amused. "Numb, too...? Numb's good."

     She sniffs that tea and nudges it aside before resting her head on the table, hunching over a bit more while staring off into space. "Could've just left and... I don't know. What's... What the hell am I even doing here?"

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    "You are talking to me, and learning what you must," Starless replies mildly. "You're uncertain, and confused. You've just lost something important to you. Or... should I say that you had it taken from you, wasn't it?" She sips the tea. "Taken by someone else. Why would they do that, you think? What would have them force an injustice such as this upon you?"

    The table is not actually in a building, apparently? It's in a ruined crater. That's very odd, isn't it?

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     "What I...?" Sanary jerks up for a moment as she notices more of her surroundings, staring at the crater they're in before putting her head back down on that table. That safe, familiar table with the tea she's gotten so used to making and drinking.

     "My home. It... It's gone. They destroyed it." She shivers and digs her head into the table, a pained groan escaping her as she recalls what had happened just one night ago. "Th... They had to. That's what they said. To keep the... Everyone from getting hurt more." She pauses and shakes her head quickly, not sounding entirely convinced of what she had just said.

     "N-no. It's... But that's the way the world works, isn't it? The... The strong do what they want, and weak people like me can't do anything." She utters another quiet laugh before setting her head back down, that look of dejection and numbness returning to her again.

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    "Is it?" Starless asks as she scoots aside. "Your axe is beside you, Sanary. Pick it up if you wish." It's true, Sanary will find any equipment she wishes right next to her. But why? That is what Starless is leading into. "You are strong... but strong enough? Strong enough to slaughter those responsible? Would that even matter, would anyone even care?"

    Behind her, on the ridge, numerous shadowy figures are gathering. The enemy. Powerful and silently staring. Starless points out, "Of course, with your allies, you could likely manage to kill them if you like. But there are many kinds of strength, Miss Rondel. Would you like to know the strength to keep anyone from taking what is yours ever again?"

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Sanary picks her head up again to look over as directed, staring at the gunaxe just sitting there against the leg of the table. As she reaches for it, however, she stops once Starless continues to speak and drops her head back on that table with much less care than before. "... Doubt it. All of them... They're too strong. I-"

     Her gaze flickers to the movement around them, a hand clenching against the edge of the table as she raises her head again. "It's always my allies. They... They do all the heavy lifting, and I just... I can't do anything right." Even as she says that, she picks up the gunaxe and fires off a few shots at those figures, although it's clear she's doing it mostly out of frustration rather than making any sort of controlled attack.

     "You... What sort of strength are you talking about?" Her gaze finally falls directly on Starless, and she rises from the table to reach out and try to grab her shoulders. "I... I need to get stronger. To stop this kind of shit from happening again!"

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    Shaken! Starless Night is startled, but doesn't move to stop Sanary at all. As expected, the shots do very little, but then this isn't about vengeance and hot-blooded murder. Thus Starless doesn't need to cater to that. She smiles and places her hand on Sanary's own, shaking her head. "You have many ways to grow stronger. Your allies can teach you. Enhance you. But no matter how strong you get, how much you can handle, your enemies will find ways to hurt you."

    She's still smiling, though. And after she lets that thought sink in, the 'kindly woman' points out, "Unless, of course, you have sufficient strength of character to discourage such things from happening. To make it so that none would dare do something like that."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     "Then I just.. I just need to get strong enough that they won't. That's... That's easy enough, right?" Sanary actually manages a laugh that lasts more than one second, although she's still just as shaken up as she was before. She does seem just a little bit calmer than before, at least, as she stares right at Starless.

     "Character? Like a... What, like in a TV show?" Although she's confused at first, a few of the pieces start to click together in her mind. "Unless... No. You mean... Uh. What /do/ you mean?" On the plus side, she's not rejecting what Starless is saying. She's just having trouble trying to understand what she truly means.

     "If being able to fight better than them isn't going to do it... Then What is it? What type of strength is this?"

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    Starless just shakes her head, "There will always be those willing to risk themselves by attacking you, and seek to target those you care about." She rises up, gesturing at the ruined crater. "But would they if they knew that you would return in kind? It is not enough to merely kill your assailant. That is a quick end, a swift and oft-effective one... for the immediate problem."

    "But..."

    She smiles, producing a locket in one hand, and tosses it toward Sanary. "Let us say that this is a precious memory of a lost loved one. Your opponent has hurt you. Others have seen it. It is not enough to just defeat them. But what if you could send a message to everyone that in harming you or those you care about, they would cause themselves untold suffering? You would be safe. Your friends and allies would be safe."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Sanary's gaze returns to that crater surrounding them, looking more and more like the one that her home had turned into. Expanding in size, slowly growing until it practically matched the desert further into the rest of the country. But that wasn't right, was it? It felt wrong, but... She can't even tell any more. Not with her mind in the state it's in.

     She doesn't even notice that locket at first, only reaching out to catch it after Starless tosses it at her and the locket bounces off of her. Somehow, she still manages to get a grip on it before it can drop to the ground. "This is... The enemy's then? And if I have it, then... Then they'd want it back, right?" She stares at that locket, not even bothering to open it up as she looks back up at Starless after a long minute. "That's... That's the strength I want-no. That's the strength I /need/. I need to... I need to make sure they can't hurt me. Or hurt anyone else I care about."

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    Tucking her arms into her sleeves as she crosses them, Starless nods, "If it were, what would you do? You have the capacity to hurt them. To make them realize that harming you, assaulting those that you care about, will cause them much worse suffering. That is another type of strength. All it requires is that you set aside your doubts and focus on the results."

    She nods toward the locket. "It is, in the end, just a trinket to you, isn't it?"

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     A grin starts creeping across Sanary's face as Starles speaks, the possibilities of just what she could do with a theoretical object racing through the healer's mind. Destruction would be the easiest thing, of course. Destroying what they cherish, to stamp it into the ground, to wipe it from existence.

     "My... Doubts. Doubts about... You mean about myself? Hn... Makes sense. Makes a lot of sense." She even chuckles lightly as she raises that locket into the air, peering it at. Tilting it. Measuring it. Weighing it. So many possibilities with such a small thing... She really could destroy it easily in this form, couldn't she?

     "... Too easy." Sanary doesn't destroy it. Or even damage it with any sort of force, really. Instead, she drops it right into her mouth before following it up with a swig of the tea. Her tea of choice isn't any regular old tea, though. No, the tea that's always been a staple of her family has been made with pig's blood. The perfect thing to stain clothes, metal, just about anything, really.

     To desecrate things.

     "Mrph... Ptuh. You're right. As long as I get the job done and I can hurt them more than they can hurt me... That's the power I need, isn't it?" She spits that trinket back out and clenches it in her fist, that 'tea' staining her hand even then.

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    That was... surprising. Starless lifts an eyebrow at the choice Sanary makes, but it isn't a bad thing. She's always surprised at how ~creative~ people can be when pressed. But that's what makes it so entertaining, doesn't it? The action does cause the air to brighten a bit, to make the place seem not quite so... depressing.

    "Power is important," she admits. "And there are many paths to it, which you need to decide for yourself. But far more important is how it is applied. The when, and how, and how much. That is another kind of power, and I think that you understand that now. You are not so helpless as you believe."

    It's a 'lesson' more than a therapy session, but Starless does hope that the new focus will allow Sanary to awaken. For now, she knows not to press too much... to turn the dream into a nightmare would reverse any progress. "You know where to find me if you need to speak again, I think."

    Technically, that would be 'next to Sanary' once the dream fades, but she trusts that the healer won't misunderstand what she just said.

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     That's what Sanary had been missing. Attaining power was one thing, but learning how to use it effectively... That's something she'll need to discover on her own time. As the mood of the dream world lightens, so does the healer's expression. It's one of renewed vigor, confidence, and determination.

     And then mild disgust when she realizes she's just spat a bloody trinket into her hand. "Just need to... Work even harder, then. Gotta get the power /and/ learn how to use it..." She chuckles again at those reassuring words from Starless, the grin slowly breaking into an actual smile for the first time today, both inside and outside of the dream world.

     And once she's awake? Sanary gives her a long groggy stare. "... Found you. You hungry?"

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    Chuckle. Starless smiles, "I could get some food. I'm glad to see you've awakened. Try to take it easy for a little bit... I have a feeling you have a lot to consider and think about."

    As ruthless as Starless is, she's also quite civil, and has no issue with offering a hand up to Sanary as she herself rises. Though that might be a way to note that she's a lot stronger than the frail frame she has would indicate.

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     "Yeah... D-definitely. I.. Yeah. Not so bad in here, anyway." Sanary chuckles again, although she's sounding noticeably weaker than she did at her best in the dream. She's still mentally and physically drained, after all, and the memories of her loss are still fresh in her mind.

     She's also hungry, though, and she gets up relatively easily with Starless' assistance. "Still... Can't get too lazy. I need to figure out where to go next with... Everything. The power. Using it. All of it." Getting off the bed is a bit of an ordeal as well, but she'll prevail! Eventually. "You wouldn't.. Uh. Happen to have any pointers on where to start with that, would you?"

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    "It will take a little time, I think, to properly process everything," Starless points out. "But there are options. Options to become stronger, though often at a price. Vega offered you one, and though he was blunt and crude about it, I have no doubt he CAN do it. I can offer a more refined one, with ninjutsu arts. Or you can try something more subtle, yet immediately effective, such as these."

    She holds her hand out, letting a small crawling worm writhe across one finger before vanishing under the skin. It doesn't seem to hurt her. "But I understand that some are a little reluctant to go that far as well. That is why you must weigh your options."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Sanary nods slowly while reaching up to rub her forehead, the physical pain starting to come back to her as her senses keep coming back to her. The physical wounds have mostly healed, but that doesn't mean the pain is completely gone. "Yeah... Better not to rush into anything, I guess. Vega's offered before, so that might work. And... Hm. Ninjitsu?"

     Sanary furrows her brow. "That's the kind of stuff Yari uses... That could work, too." She goes quiet when Starless holds the hand out, staring at that worm for the brief moment that it's visible. Something about that worm just sinking into the woman's hand is unnerving, but...

     She can't just rule that possibility out, either. "... Definitely going to need more info on that one. Uh.You don't have to worry about accidentally eating those, do you?"

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    Starless Night nods her head as she starts to walk. "Ninjutsu. Yari uses a different style than I use, but since my clan is dead I have no need to hold to secrecy."

    The worm has vanished, and Starless seems none the worse for wear. "Keep in mind that I am not human, so you have options I do not. But no... the chitinshell annellids live under the skin and form a network of hard webbing, making me more resilient. The symbiotes in my body all have certain needs, however. The chitinshells, for example, require fresh fruit on a fairly frequent basis. Others, like the mindglowers, merely require some space once a day or so. While others yet, like the talonfang, require more... difficult ingredients such as fresh blood. Lu-Mey would be the one to speak to about those options, she is more skilled with them than I."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Following behind Starless, Sanary's steps become a little more confident as the haze wears off. Plus, she's not expecting to have food delivered right to her as long as her legs are still working.

     "You aren't? But you look so..." She pauses for a moment, weighing her next words carefully. "... Human-y. Great hair, too." She flicks some clumped strands of her own mussed-up hair for emphasis.

     "To be honest, having a big... What's it called. Nest? Network? Network of insects crawling around in me doesn't sound pleasant. But if it works..." She makes a few noncommital noises, but at least she's considering it! "I'll.. Yeah, I'll have to ask Lu-Mey about this, too."

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    "That's intentional, that I look human," Starless points out. "And it is not exactly well-known that I am not. I am close enough to host the annelids, and that's enough."

    She makes a vague gesture. "It isn't as unpleasant as you might think, but I wouldn't blame you if you think it is not to your liking. It takes a certain personality to really appreciate them. Talk to Lu-Mey, see if anything appeals, and if it doesn't... well there are certainly other options, yes?"

    She smiles again, "I expect you're too hungry to give such things serious thought. Let's fix that instead of dwelling for now. It's hard to decide on an empty stomach."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     "If that's the case... Your secret's safe with me." Sanary reaches over to clap a shoulder against Starless' shoulder, that confident grin of hers appearing on her face despite the fatigue that's still apparent through the rest of her movements. "If you think it'll help, I'll definitely keep it in mind. Even if it is kinda..."

     It's probably better if she doesn't think too much about having insects crawling around /inside/ her skin right before she eats. "... I'll talk to her, yeah."

     Then she finally starts laughing. It's light, it's hearty, and it's over in a few seconds. Still, it's laughter, and she moves closer to try and catch Starless in a light hug from behind. "Thanks. Really. I'm gonna... I'm gonna make it up to you sooner or later. But first, let's eat!"

Starless Night (336) has posed:
    The kugutsu chuckles, "I appreciate that." It's not as if the secret would be TERRIBLE to reveal, but it's nice to have one more thing in reserve. She is, however, startled by the hug from behind. Not that hse minds, exactly, but it gives her a puzzled expression more than anything.

    "Yes, let's do that," Starless agrees. "I know a few who will be happy to hear you are awake again."