Christmas 2013 Page 2

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Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/51 Posted Author Too Much Christmas (3/3) Sun Dec 08 Serori


Field Marshal Tyrael is sent a kitten. It is orange and striped and small enough to still be squeaky. 'I wasn't hungry after all,' she claims in her card, 'but I didn't know what else to do with it after I'd already bought it.' He also receives a short but significant letter of gratitude. He will understand why she feels the need to thank him. The letter is probably of greater value than the kitten she refers to as 'Snack.'

Donations are made to an unaffiliated refugee support fund in honor of Generals Paarthurnax and Hall. Nathan Hall is also sent a box of chocolates. 'Nine insists you're supposed to be eating,' her card explains. 'These are not poisoned.'

Tony Stark and Pepper Potts are given a set of matched items: a necklace for Pepper, and a pair of cufflinks for Tony. The cufflinks match the pendant on Pepper's necklace. The set is made from rose gold. Also included is a card which promises Pepper a lavish and rewarding career in the Confederacy, and another card containing a giant pop-up middle finger for Tony Stark.

Sarah is sent a box of baked apple pastries possibly made by Serori herself; their quality is questionable. Of less concern are the varied teas and herbs sent alongside the pastries. Though most herbs are for flavoring or additive purposes, some do serve a medicinal function. 'Because you like the stupidest shit,' Serori's card lovingly explains.

Taylita is given the computer components necessary for managing a basic interstellar craft's navigational functions. Serori's card cautions Taylita against potential crash landings. Also enclosed is a pair of small earrings engraved with the crest denoting Saiyan royalty. It has become more a symbol of Saiyan heritage than anything else, these days.

Artorias is sent an elegant dagger (practically a short sword at his size), as well as a collection of Kabu's feathers and Roko's scales — things to be used in his crafts, as he has time. Sif is given a broad leather harness which could serve as light armor. It's nothing special, though the tooling is nice.

K4-800M is sent a collection of holiday music rated by how annoying Serori finds it. Some of it's quite pretty! It's just…really, really not to Serori's taste…

John and Cortana are given the tools necessary for proper firearms maintenance and cleaning. They are also invited to dinner. A separate gift, meant for Cortana exclusively, is sent via a small data package. In the package, Serori has enclosed some star charts for parts of the Void yet to be explored by Cortana and John. There is nothing of military value handed over; rather, the maps provided are for something of a sight-seeing tour, for when the two need a distraction that doesn't involve shooting Serori.

Yunomi doesn't receive the expected toaster; instead, she's gifted with a book of myths and tales about the Tanuki people. Most stories are probably those she's heard before, but it makes it for light, fun reading.

Jin Kisaragi receives a self-help book on anger management, as well as a more serious invitation to meet up and talk — sometime soon, preferably. He also gets some cookies. Serori did not bake the cookies.

Luc, oddly enough, receives a holiday-themed card sternly telling him to 'get something nice for Sarah.' Any threats are implied, but should be taken super seriously! Merry Christmas!

Mari Hime is sent a pair of delicate tea cups. Not really Serori's style, but it goes to show she hasn't forgotten their duel in the World Martial Arts Tournament.

A donation is made to the Union's charitable funds in the Confederacy's honor.

(OOC: More gifts may be forthcoming. I like you all so much. <3)


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/52 Posted Author Response Gifting Sun Dec 08 K4-800M


This wont be the last gift that Kayfour sends out, but it is the first. As a way of "thank you" for the music, Kayfour has made a variety of remixes mash-ups with the music. The better songs are treated to either a trance, techno or dubstep remix. Meanwhile, all of the most annoying or 'bad' songs are combined into one giant mash-up.

Combining them did nothing to improve these songs. In fact, it is even more terrible than before, but Kay has at least attempted to give it a 'so bad it's good' treatment.

Serori will probably find these music files transfered to her one way or another shortly after Kayfour recieves her gift.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/53 Posted Author Christmas CARDCAPTOR Cosplay 3 Mon Dec 09 Sakura Kinomoto


More gifts!

To ZEPHYR WINDSTAR - A small device, designed to clip on to clothing, with a small dial that resembles a fuel gauge for a car. According to the instructions, it's a 'Mana Level Detector'. - A Christmas card, bearing an image of Sakura dressed up as a TSAB Ground Forces soldier, flashing a V-sign. The message reads "I know you've been working on it, but better to be safe than sorry, right?"

To FAYT RAVUS - A psuedodragon plushie. What else would it be? This one is dressed up with reindeer antlers and a red nose. - A Christmas card, bearing an image of Sakura wearing… a pseudodragon costume. The message reads "One of these years I'm going to run out of ideas."

To AMALTHEA - A pack of two dozen humane catch-and-release fairy traps, and a packet of 'fairy bait' - which is mostly candy. - A Christmas card bearing an image of Sakura, dressed up like a fairy, with large transluscent wings and a dress that appears to be made of leaves. On closer inspection, she appears to have actually shrunk down to about four inches tall. The message reads "I hope you get a chance to relax this year!"

To ELLESTARIA - Chocolate tacos. Well, desert tacos, really; chocolate shells with cream and jam. They're actually surprisingly good, and they even come with a recipe on the packet. - A Christmas card bearing an image of Sakura dressed up as… Atlantean Princess Magical Ellestaria-chan, according to the label. It's an odd fusion of a magical girl outfit and what Sakura's seen of Ellestaria's more traditional Atlantean clothes. … It's pretty weird. The message reads "Blame Tomoyo, it was her idea!"

To ARIEL - Paints! Lots and lots of paints in all colours of the rainbow. The paints are actually mana-reactive, and glow when exposed to sufficient levels of magic. - A Cristmas card bearing an image of Sakura dressed up as an artist; paint-splattered apron, beret and all. The message reads "I hope you like them! Merry Christmas~"

And now, for the Confederate gifts… these will likely take a bit longer to be delivered than the oens to the Union. Security and all.

To SEIKOU (Material-S) - A box of magically-charged cookies. Chocolate chip, of course. Also included is a voucher which reads 'Redeemable For One (1) White Christmas". - A Christmas card bearing an image of Sakura dressed up in Seikou's Barrier Jacket. The message reads "I know you and your sisters liked these last time I gave you some. I hope Christmas finds you well. And we really should get tea some time."

To KIRIKOU - A book about boxing. There's a bookmark in the chapter about fighting opponents shorter than you are. - A Christmas card bearing an image of Sakura dressed up as a boxer, aiming a punch towards the camera. The message inside reads merely "POW!"

To FIRE and THUNDER (Kirikou's NPCs) - Candy. Quite a lot of candy.

To ANDREW DETMER - A book, titled "On The Appropriate Use Of Force: Teen Psychic Edition". They make really specific philosophy books nowadays. - A Christmas card, bearing an image of Sakura dressed up as an emo teen. Black dyed hair, black top with a pink 'broken heart' logo, jeans… She has her hands in her pockets and is looking down at her shoes. The message reads "You're probably smart enough to make sense of this. I tried reading it but some of it went over my head."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/54 Posted Author Fernday 2013 Tokens Mon Dec 09 Genghis Rex


Tesla Armadia, No. 9, and Ivan Venko - Each receives a 22k gold ring custom designed to perfectly fit its wearer. Inset at the top of the ring is a black rounded half Onyx with the Tyranno symbol intricately carved into the surface of the gem. The onyx is on a hinge that folds over, to reveal tiny circuitry inside. The ring allows its wearer to communicate directly with the Tyranno command center, as well as send out a location signal, should the wearer require Tyranno assistance. The ring can also amplify the wearer's natural physical abilities for a short period of time. A note is attached to each ring: "Welcome to the Secret Scales. - GR"

Teryx receives the latest IPOD Touch with a single song on it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfY1helYy7c - The attached note reads "XOXO - Rex"

Tony Stark and Pepper Potts - An Amazon.com box shows up at Stark Tower addressed to the happy couple - inside is a copy of "Taken by the T-rex" by Christie Sims with a note that reads "Dream on! - GR" (OOC: Yes, this is a REAL thing)

Loki also gets an Amazon delivery containing a copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnagie - The note reads "Thought this might be helpful - T.D."

Serori is presented with an upgraded visual scanner of Reptilonian Design - this scanner cannot only determine power levels, but also can determine physical weaknesses, as well as do a genetic and evolutionary evaluation of a target. Unbeknownst to the General, all scanned data is transmitted back to the Tyranno command center.

Tony Stark actually gets a second delivery in the form of a 7 foot, 300 lb wodden box - inside is a vintage 1983 Ms Pac-Man Arcade Machine (with the turbo chip!) in pristine factory fresh condition with a note "Brush up. We'll play sometime! - T.D."

Proving that UPS will ship anywere, An amazon box shows up at Castlevania addressed to Dracula himself - Inside is "Twilight Forever: The Complete Saga Boxset" on Blu-Ray! - "From your friend, Quackpot!"

Gigan is presented with a 10-ton sharpening stone made of finely honed lava rock, harvested from Mt Fuji. These are obviously for him to keep his massive kaiju-claws in tip top shape!

Onikaze Kenshin receives a jagged scimitar of Reptilonian design. The metal is of unknown origin, but is extremely light and harder than steel. His note reads, "See you next year - GR."

Bruce Banner gets a package containing a HUGE golden wrestling title belt that's definitely big enough for his alter ego to wear (Image) - the attached note reads, "Let's see how long you can keep it, pipsqueak! - Brachio"

Katherine Quinn gets a box of Godiva Dark Chocolate Cherry Cordials with a note "Sorry about the Hulk thing. - GR"

Chuck Hansen receives a bottle of Doggie dandruff shampoo.

Sagaria receives a finely crafted ornate polearm that is perfectly balanced and designed with her specifically in mind.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/55 Posted Author Christmas at Ground Zero! Mon Dec 09 Courier Six


Somewhat predictably, after the message about the truce goes up, New Vegas Marketing posts a campaign! Spend the Truce in Sunny New Vegas! Come enjoy the town as you enjoy the season! New shows at The Tops, the hottest slots at Gomorrah, and the finest Cuisine at the Ultra-Lux! Enjoy your holidays in Style! A generous number of comp passes for rooms and drinks are delivered via the Syndicate Network to Union, Confederate and Unaffiliated alike.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/56 Posted Author Happy Addiemas Part The Second Mon Dec 09 Adelaide Flowers


Captain Janeway gets an electric coffee mug. It's tapered wider on the bottom like any good shipboard mug should be, and has a little tiny rechargable battery that heats up the bottom of the mug to keep things hot. Clearly there's no need to get the good captain any coffee beans since the replicators have that handled, but the idea of coffee going /cold/ in the deep darkness of space? Absolutely not allowed under any circumstances. Also, the Voyager's registry number and name are emblazoned on the mug.

Psyber receives another gift. It is a model of an early Ford Mustang, that he must put together and paint himself. It does not drive around, turn into people, or do anything else besides look as cool as Mustangs look. A (blacked out) receipt is provided to demonstrate that yes she really did buy the model from a reputable store that is totally not at all a Video Girl Ai joke nor any sort of magical location whatsoever.

Cas receives something simple enough, a floofy knit sweater with an obvious christmas theme. It is only slightly horrible and despite Addie's best efforts still oversized for the girl. There is also an iPod, loaded up with good music. Heavy metal, mostly, though there's at least a little of everything. Except country. Noone likes country.

Staren receives a book, "The Book Of Five Rings" by Musashi. A note mentions how many business leaders and politicians have adapted the book's teachings as a way of conducting business, and there's a heartfelt hope that it'll help in his efforts.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/57 Posted Author Counsel and Mystery Gifts Tue Dec 10 Saya Irino


FROM SAYA Psyber - A festive christmas card. Inside, she has simply written "Prescribed relaxation 2:30pm to 3:30 pm, mondays. Heavy cream and sugar." Under this, "You're a good man and you help a lot of people. But it's healthy to think about yourself once in a while, too."

Cas - A red turtleneck sweater-dress. It's a bit big for her, but very cozy and warm.

FROM BLACK GOLD SAW Arthur - A black coffee cup with several white spots in the enamel, giving it the appearance of the night sky.

Summer - A white coffee cup with a black raven silhouette decorating it.

Fiora - A brown coffee cup. Stenciled on it is a paintbrush done in multiple colors.

Valentine - A black coffee cup with a bright yellow star on it.

Vruasa - A white coffee cup covered in a print of many, many clocks all jumbled together, like they were thrown in a heap. Separately, she's included a crystalline red spear with frog's legs on one end, straddling a rocket engine, and a frog's front legs and head forming the spearhead. With this is a generic christmas card, and scrawled inside: "This belonged to one of your doomed futures. It only feels proper you should get it back. Though it's little more than a memento now. ~ HL"

Hastur - A short-cut leather jacket with overly long sleeves. It's actually almost exactly like the mini-coat Black Gold Saw herself wears, except the leather has been dyed yellow. It's well made, durable, and weatherproof. Instead of stars on the cuffs, there are small stylizations of the Yellow Sign in black. Given it's stylized, it isn't accurate enough to have any mystical effect other than looking cool. In one of the pockets is a card. "You fight well. You'll fight better if you wear something you can move in. Let's fight a legion of cannon fodder again some time."

The Girls from Minecraft - Are collectively sent a small crate containing many, many packets of coffee beans.

Black Rock Shooter - Lettering carved into the metal walls of the Domain of Shattered Tears, spelling out a promise not to drop an asteroid on her from now until Christmas. Any time after that is fair game.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/58 Posted Author Scurvy Gifts Tue Dec 10 Crimson Sea


Isa Reichert - A small flask of black jade. It can be filled with any mundane drink and, once emptied and re-capped, will refill itself. There's also a card: "It doesn't work with potions or the like. But hey, you'll only have to buy the good stuff once."

James Garnett - A bottle of potent brandy, identified by the label as Singapore Gold 1987. It's extremely valuable and has never been opened. It comes in a velvet drawstring bag to protect it from light. There's also a card: "For that time in Manila. The next favor I owe you is a good clean death."

Serori - A single hoop earring made out of an oily black metal. It rings like an instrument when struck, though has an unsettling background sound like someone crying. Yup. It's Soulsteel. Included is a card: "Every artifact has a story behind it, General. Feel free to make up whatever one you want about this one. The truth of the matter is his life cashed the check his mouth wrote." As for the earring, it seems to enhance hearing over long ranges. But only for the ear it's fixed to. As there's only one, better hope you like mono sound.

Dracula Vlad Tepes - An excessively ornate Soulsteel Dagger in an equally ornate scabbard, encrusted with jewels and sporting a ridiculous amount of gold and silver inlay. The hilt itself resembles a bat's outstretched wings. When removed from the scabbard, the oily black blade 'sings' a wordless, haunting chorus. Aside from being ridiculously creepy (and perfect for Lords of the Night who want a little ambiance), this song may petrify weaker-willed mortals with fear or incite panic. It's not good enough to do anything to the Elite. (OOC note: Probably best to keep it out of XCOM HQ though)

Youka - Don't think Crimson forgot about you. Her gift comes by regular mail, security checked and safe. It's a skull made entirely out of orichalcum, with a hinged jaw. A magelight inside ensures the eyes are constantly glowing, and is located inside at just the right place that it always seems to be looking right at whoever looks at it. In the box, along with a glass display case, is a note: "This is absolutely not a stolen artifact. Merry Christmas, ya filthy landlubber. And thanks for the flask. - CS"


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/59 Posted Author Yummy soul gifts Tue Dec 10 Kirikou


More gifts will come later, so no worries to any of Kilik's friends! You're not forgotten! It was just easier to get these gifts to non-Feds out first, not to mention to think of them. Also, despite the title of this post, no actual food or souls are going out in this round.

Artorias and Ciaran get simple cards, nothing different than one might buy from your typical gift store. Included, however, are handwritten notes in each. "I don't know if you celebrate Christmas or not. I kinda hope you don't. Seems to me this is about respecting someone even though you don't share their beliefs."

Shizune Nakamura and Sakura Kinomoto each get a single gauntlet, shaped like one of the Demon Weapons Kilik uses. They're not actually designed for fighting and wouldn't stand up long under combat useage, but they do look pretty cool and are designed to stand upright on their knuckles, doubling as either gauntlets or vases. The twins are, after all, pots. Side note, there is no 'pot of fire' or 'pot of thunder' label on either. Sakura gets a right gauntlet, Shizune a leftie.

Toph Beifong gets a moon rock. That is to say, it's carved into the shape of the Soul Eater moon. Look it up if you need to, but it's NOT the shape of a typical moon.

Altair gets a sew-on badge which appears to be a grinning mouth. If he should investigate into it, it'd be recognized as an unofficial shibusen merit badge awarded by certain EAT class members (the shibusen elite students who are being trained to fight) to new EAT-level students when they kill their first kishin.

Connor Kenway gets a very similar badge, but this one is shaped like a floppy pointed witch's hat. Unlike Altair's, there is no actual world-basis for this merit badge as those who actually survive witch hunts end up getting more official notice and rewards for it. Kilik made this one up himself.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/60 Posted Author A Knight's Gift Tue Dec 10 Lyner Barsett


Getting into the spirit, Lyner decided to do something nice for the people that he knew. Few and far between as it may be. And in the way that he typically does.

Misha: When she enters her room, Misha will find a beautiful sapphire necklace placed on her night table. Attached to a silver chain, the overall worksmanship looks rough. As if it was crafted by his own hands. Next to it is a small card with a note written on it. It reads: 'You know that you're an important person to me. I know I've done a lot of stupid things over the years, but I promise, I'll do what I can to make things right. - Lyner'

Elliana Fairchild: A small, translucent, purple Grathnode Crystal of unknown function. It appears to have been un-altered. With it is a note. It reads: 'I know all of the things people say about you, but still I want to get to know you for myself. Maybe one day I will. Till then! - Lyner'

Mir: A small music box. When opened, it plays a simple version of Exec_Harmonius. With it is a note that reads: 'I know you're not the Mir from my world. But you're still Mir. I know you're not a bad person either, and I hope we can talk more some day! - Lyner'

And to everyone else, in the residential area of Njorun, a small table is set up with a large pile of…funbuns. There is a small sign hanging over the side that says 'Discover and enjoy the majesty of funbuns! Take one! Take two! Or three! - Lyner'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/61 Posted Author Christmas Mouse Addendum Tue Dec 10 Faruja


(Because I'm a derp, and forgot folks!)

To Thor: One signed picture of what appears to be a red-brick Abbey. A sign in the background reads 'Thoresian Monastery'. There is a group of children, of a wide range of ages, dressed in robes or habits, smiling. The signatures are all of the children in the background. There's also an invitation to visit the abbey, signed by the head Sister.

To Alexis Maaka: An Ivalician Blaze Gun, looking very similar to the one Faruja wields. A note on it reads 'A light to purge pretenders to the name 'Templar'.'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/62 Posted Author A Very Laery Christmas Tue Dec 10 Laer


Or midwinter. Either way, on to the presents:

Serori receives a magical alarm clock, which never fails to go off at precisely 4:45 AM and attempts to magically return itself to her possesions in the event that it is 'lost'. For its alarm, it plays a rendition of It's A Small World.

Dracula receives a jar of something that claims to be Fang Polish. It is mint flavored, with whitening properties.

Loros receives a jar of a whitish powdery substance, without any identifying tag other than 'From Laer'. Upon close inspection, it proves to be blueberry muffin mix, with no magical properties whatsoever. Two hours later, the other ingredients are delivered.

Arthur receives a thick black sheet of paper, with instructions to roll it and use it as a megaphone in the event of a speech emergency. He will find this super effective if he tries it, at least up until the enchantment wears off.

Summer receives a copy of 'Telling Evil Vampires from Romantic Vampires: Dating advice for the Multiverse Age Series, Part 12'. The advice contained within is universally terrible, but in an entertaining way so long as she doesn't follow it.

Fiora is given a multicolored ink pen that never seems to actually be the same color as what she'd tried to pick, but generally manages to look good enough.

Vruasa is given a planning calendar, with a different ultra-cute kitten on every page.

Psyber and Cirno are given signed advance reader copies of Laer's forthcoming book, 'A Frog's Tale: How Toad Orphans Brought a Ice Fairy and a Half Angel Together And Warmed Their Hearts, and May Have Also Created A Universe', her history of Sburb, every bit as accurate and non-exploitative as the title suggests. Those mentioned in presents above will receive notice that they've had a normal copy preordered for the official release. All others Laer dealt with in Sburb receive certificates for a 40% discount on the book once it is released. Raven's is signed with a note stating 'Thanks for the help with my recent promotion - Major Laer Azati.'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/63 Posted Author Infectious Gifts Tue Dec 10 The Gofer Sisters


Dark Force - "Daakufossu Prime", a homemade game for her XBox 360. It's a side-scrolling shooter where the player takes the role of Dark Force and shoots down Human military jets and helicopters. The bosses are various Angels from the G Organization. Being the "Prime" version, the player character is ridiculously OP. Included is also a series of papers indicating a bank account, currently containing a large sum of money from the commercial release (where the PC is considerably less overpowered). In the accompanying card: "We made a game about you. Your version is realistic. The other version is making a killing in the shmup market, so we're giving you royalties to it too. Enjoy the game and the money. ~ R.B. and L.B."

Serori - A Rocket Punch weapon card. Given Serori doesn't have anything that utilizes Weapon Cards, this is more of a gag gift than a functional one. It has an image of Twinbee on it, firing a large cartoonish boxing glove with a rocket engine on the back where a forearm would usually be.

Yuna Kagurazaka - A Motivational Pengu. This is a plush, blue civilian-model Bacterian Pengu general-purpose robot drone. Disarmed and pretty stupid. All it does is wander around and spout compliments and inspirational stock quotes. Stuck to its head with duct tape is a hand-scrawled note: "This one won't explode. We promise. - High Regent R.B, Grand Marshal L.B."

Zero Point - Two weeks off with pay and a $10 game time card for Contra Burger's arcade.

No. 9 - A Motivational Pengu. Much like Yuna's, this one includes a note that it won't explode. This one, however, is contained in a nice and frilly christmas card rather than a torn scrap of paper. This Pengu is red.

Yuri Stinson - A large parrot drone, glowing gold, with gold feathers. Its wings have been irrepairably damaged after what seems to have been repeated beatings with a large wrench, though it can still waddle around on its one still functioning leg. Every 1d6 hours, it screams in a voice that can be heard for up to 60 yards: 'YOU SHOULD GO FIGHT YOUR BOYFRIEND!'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/64 Posted Author Gifts from Sarah Wed Dec 11 Sarah


To the Survivors of Annu: Each and every person who braved the inner universe of Viridian Sunrise receives a simple parcel and a note. Hand-written inside is a simple note: "I will not soon forget the trial we went through together. Thank you. Without your personal contributions, I would not have survived that hell. None of us would have. —Lady Sarah."

Harry Dresden: Harry gets a package delivered to his doorstep. It feels magical! Inside is a lavish wooden box with velvet lining, a little heavy. Inside are two runes; a weak Water Rune, and a stronger Flowing Rune. Tucked into the box is a handwritten note: "I do not know that you have any capacity to use these, but it is possible that they may have some practical use for you. Do as you will with them. If you should wish formal instruction in their use, or to inscribe them upon your person, I do not mind performing these services for you. Thank you for your help through the years. It is appreciated; most greatly. —Lady Sarah."

K4-800M: The Lucid Dreamer will receive a small parcel. Contained therein is a selection of fine tea from the Kingdom of Harmonia, as well as a small selection of chocolate. Nestled in its own small velvet-lined box is a common Water Rune, which seems to be keeping the chocolates cool enough not to melt. Included is a handwritten note: "I do not know what you would prefer, so I assembled a variety for you. I have also included a Water Rune. I am not certain that you can use it, but I suppose it can, if nothing else, serve as an interesting paperweight. I would like to speak with you again soon. I do not know you nearly as well as I should. —Lady Sarah."

Luc: That's for Sarah to know and you to find out. Or not.

Nanami: Sent to Nanami is a selection of fine chocolates probably acquired from Harmonia, in turn probably acquired from some conquered territory or another. It's quite an array, and attached to the box is a small card with a handwritten note: "Try not to eat all of these at once. These are from Crystal Valley, and they are at times difficult to find. Enjoy your holiday season; when it is over, I expect you ready to train again. —Lady Sarah."

Raven DeVanos: A package will be left sitting on Raven's doorstep. Inside is a selection of tea, chocolate, and coffee; all of high quality. The box itself is wooden with velvet lining, so it can be reused once it's been emptied. Tucked inside is a card bearing a handwritten note: "This is not meant to duck the prior commitment promised you, but perhaps this can keep you busy until Seryoga and I are able. Please enjoy these. They are from Crystal Valley, the capital of Harmonia. When it is feasible to return to Oxford, I will contact you, if that is preferable. —Lady Sarah."

Sakura Haruno: To the mednin goes a variety of tea, and also a nice, warm sweater that looks like it's been handmade. Pinned to the end of one sleeve is a handwritten note: "While I cannot speak for the climate where you are, Harmonian winters are ferocious. Please take this with my compliments. —Lady Sarah."

Serori: All the Super Saiyan gets is a simple card. It's a suitably formal greeting card on expensive cardstock. Inside is a handwritten note: "I still owe you a meal, and half of a story. At your convenience. The time may be of your choosing; the place mine. I have not forgotten. —Lady Sarah."

Tir McDohl: The bandanna man receives a small parcel and a handwritten note. Inside the parcel is a selection of fine, very obviously expensive tea from Harmonia: "Master McDohl. I cannot speak for your tastes, but thought that you might appreciate these. Such things are not difficult for me to lay hands on, so if they are to your liking, I can easily provide more. —Lady Sarah."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/65 Posted Author Gifts from Agrias Wed Dec 11 Agrias Oaks


Amalthea: Presented to Amalthea is a simple longsword, unornamented and plain in workmanship but solid as rock. The hilt doesn't look attached to the blade by visible means, forged of a single iron ingot. It has a silvery sheen, as though plated in something brighter. Tied around the crossguard is a handwritten note: "Happy holiday, Dame Amalthea. I do not know whether Faith remains unbroken, but in the event that it is, mayhap this will serve you well. 'Twas forged by my own two hands, though I am sadly no artisan. 'Tis not named yet, for I could think of no greater than Faith, and that is not a name to be used. Whatever you should call it, may it serve you well. —Lt. Oaks."

Emerald Blade: There is nothing sent to the Chosen of Malfeas but a simple handwritten note: "Enjoy the respite. I will deal with you soon enough." Somehow it seems sinister. And angry. Definitely angry.

Faruja: The Temple Wizard gets a new cloak. It's made of heavy grey fabric, trimmed in a crenel-like pattern of black and darker grey. It has undeniable care in its make, warm and comfortable. Pinned through a corner is a handwritten note: "Happy holiday, Ser Priest. May this find you not wanting for warmth through the Ivalician winter. 'Tis said the winds off the Romandan channel are truly ferocious this year; at least, in the Ivalice of my origin. We must speak again, but later. In the meantime, may this serve you well. —Lt. Oaks."

Psyber: To the boss is a sword, not unlike Amalthea's. In spite of the plain workmanship and appearance, it is a solid blade; a comforting weight in hand. Unlike the other, this one is plain iron with no ornamentation or plating. Tied around the crossguard is a handwritten note: "Happy holiday, Ser Psyber. You are deserving of better than this, but this is the limits of my unworthy craftsmanship. I had heard that iron is useful against the supernatural of worlds like yours, and so from cold iron was it forged. 'Tis named Ironbite, and may it serve you well. —Lt. Oaks."

Number Nine: In a cruel and unusual twist of fate, Nine receives a big gift basket! It's filled within is a selection of fine cheese, bread, and wine. Tied around the handle is a handwritten note: "For your kindness in days past. I do not know your tastes, so perhaps something here will appeal. —Lt. Oaks."

Saber: Saber gets a heater shield. It has the arms of Camelot counter-charged with the arms of the Union. The artistry is a touch crude, but the practical part is good, made of solid oak and iron. Around the handle is tied a handwritten note: "Happy holiday, Dame Saber. We have not spoken nearly as much as we ought, and I am sorry for that. I do not know whether you rely on a shield much these days, but if you so choose, may this serve you well. —Lt. Oaks."

Serori: Off to the General of the Confederacy goes a similar gift basket as the one that had gone to Number Nine. It's filled with a selection of fine cheese, bread, and wine. There's a few expensive chocolates tucked into the bottom, too, in a moderately sized basket. Tied around the handle is a calligraphic, handwritten note: "For your respect in days past. I do not know your tastes, so perhaps something here will appeal. —Lt. Oaks."

Tyrael: Sent to the High Constable is a large, heavy parcel. Contained therein is a kite shield bearing the arms of the Union, with its upper outer edges decorated in the motif of white angels' wings. The craftsmanship is better than the others, though no master. Tied around the handle is a handwritten note: "Happy holiday, Lord Tyrael. My sincerest apologies for the poor craftsmanship of this. 'Twas the best I could do in limited time. May it protect you as you have protected us and led us. Would that I could do more for you, who had given me a place to go, when I had none. In service, —Lt. Oaks."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/66 Posted Author Gifts from Isa Wed Dec 11 Isa Reichert


Comrade Crush: To the big man goes a selection of fine vodka from the Exalted: Modern Earth's Russia. Tied around the neck of the biggest, fattest bottle (there's a few in there) is a handwritten note in typewriter-neat Cyrillic print: "The finest my Russia has to offer. Enjoy, Comrade. If you want any more, I think I can arrange that. —Reichert."

Crimson Sea: Sent to everybody's favourite pirate is a selection of the same vodka that went to Comrade Crush. Also included is one bottle that contains not vodka, but a tiny model of the Obsidian Hammer. (If one looks closely enough, there is also a very tiny model Skytalon on the deck of the carrier.) Tied around the neck of the ship-in-a-bottle is a handwritten note in typewriter-neat Cyrillic print: "For my favourite pirate. If you want any more than this, I owe it to you for that flask. It's a little harder for me to get my hands on artifacts like that, though, so you'll have to settle for the more mundane variety. Try not to drink it all in one go. —Reichert."

James Garnett: Wherever he is, James Garnett gets a small box full of coal. There is no note attached.

Medusa Gorgon: Whisked off to the witchy nurse (or nurse-y witch?) is a bottle of very expensive wine. Tied around the neck of that is a handwritten note in typewriter-neat Cyrillic print: "Sounds like you raised some hell a little while back, but it had nothing to do with me. The way I see it, I owe you one or two for patching me up a few times, so what the hell. Enjoy the wine. —Reichert."

Richard Stadler: Likewise, Rick also gets a small box full of coal. As with Garnett's, there is no note attached.

Serori: The General earns a simple plastic gift card for her tireless efforts in the Confederate cause. Isn't that sweet? Emblazoned on that card is the name of some fast food joint or another. It's tucked inside a card, on the inside of which is a handwritten note in typewriter-neat Cyrillic print: "There should be enough on this to keep you in lunch for a year. Maybe two. It had better; that was eight months of income. Enjoy. —Reichert." The credit figure on the back is a little bit staggering, for a fast food joint.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/67 Posted Author Gifts from Janeway Wed Dec 11 Kathryn Janeway


Adelaide Flowers: Addie gets a slick Voyager cap in the style of old Earth navies with the ship's name and registry number embroidered white on black. There's also a selection of exotic coffee-alikes from various places in the Alpha and Delta Quadrant. Also Klingon Raktajino. On top is a (surprisingly) handwritten note: "You're welcome aboard any time. In the meantime, these ought to keep you busy. Thanks for the mug. It's on my desk right now. Oh, and be careful with the Raktajino. It packs a punch. —Capt. Janeway."

Auzren Cen: A package is delivered to Trill quarters. Inside is a pair of fuzzy pajamas and fuzzy bathrobe, which match her already-extant fuzzy slippers. Also, a (surprisingly) handwritten note: "This seems like something you'd like. It also matches those slippers of yours. Enjoy. —Capt. Janeway." But wait! There's another thing in the bottom of the package. It's a brass door plaque that says 'ASTROMETRICS,' like the kind that would go on a shipboard directory's wall, or outside an office. On the reverse is another handwritten note: "Cargo Bay Two is now formally Astrometrics. Congratulations, Lieutenant Commander. —Capt. Janeway."

Cas: Cas gets a jacket emblazoned with Voyager's name and registry number, like an old Navy jacket. It's nice and warm, wind- and waterproof. Pinned through the collar is a (surprisingly) handwritten note: "I don't know whether or not you can feel the cold or not, but I thought you might like this. You're welcome aboard the ship any time. I hope to see more of you in the future. —Capt. Janeway."

Faruja: To the Burmecian goes a small parcel with a selection of teas and coffees in it. (But no Raktajino.) There's also a nice U.S.S. Voyager mug, too. Tied around the mug's handle and tucked into the mug itself is a (surprisingly) handwritten note: "For keeping you warm the next time we go to a place like that miserable little ball of slush. I'm afraid I don't know what your tastes are, but hopefully there's something here that might pique your interest. —Capt. Janeway."

Nozomi Houken: Nozomi's package is large but surprisingly light. Inside is a Navy-style Voyager cap, white name and registry number on black. Also inside (and taking up most of the room) is a scale model of the U.S.S. Voyager, much as the one that now rests on Janeway's trophy shelf. Only it's about double the size, and not assembled yet. Included is a (surprisingly) handwritten note: "I still have the one you made on my trophy shelf. If you feel like more of a challenge, this one ought to keep you busy for a little while. —Kathryn."

Richard Stadler: Like Addie, Rick gets a Navy-style Voyager cap, white name and registry number on black. There's also a black coffee cup with the same on it. Tied around the mug's handle and tucked into the mug itself is a (surprisingly) handwritten note: "We really should speak more, Lieutenant. Consider these a gift, and consider yourself welcome aboard my ship any day of the week. —Capt. Janeway."

Yulia: The First Lady of Neo-Zeon is given a package with a selection of coffee, tea, and a Voyager mug. Tied around the mug's handle and tucked into the mug itself is a (surprisingly) handwritten note: "Try not to drink so much of this that you don't get any sleep at all. Good luck. If there's any trouble, I want to hear the instant you hear about any more Angel or Borg activity. If your colonies need a little extra protection, we're no warship, but Voyager will be there. And of course you're welcome aboard my ship any day of the week. —Capt. Janeway."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/68 Posted Author Gifts from Yalai Wed Dec 11 Yalai the Stave


Aedan MacCarvill: It is a mystery.

Fassad: Sent to Fassad, wherever he is, is a simple hand mirror. There's a note tied around the handle: "I could be thinking of no better gift for you." It's signed with odd markings that must be Yalai's name in Sheikah-script.

Past Link: Off to the Hero of Hyrule, delivered by Sheikah and left in the dead of night, is a brace of throwing knives. Tied around the bandolier is a note: "These may be coming in handy for you. I am not being certain if you are knowing how to be using them best, but perhaps they will be useful." It's signed with odd markings that must be Yalai's name in Sheikah-script.

Serori: Serori gets another throwing knife. There's no note attached to it.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/69 Posted Author Gifts from the Lady Wed Dec 11 The Lady


Hana: Umikazeno Hana receives a masterfully crafted, velvet-lined wooden box. Inside is a pouch of silver coins, totalling a quarter of her contract. Included is an elegant, handwritten note: "Umikazeno Hana. I do not necessarily observe holidays such as these. However, I do not have any qualms about providing you a little bonus incentive. —A." Perhaps 'Ardath?' Included with the note is a series of coordinates leading to the Tower at Charm. Also, a bottle of fine Imperial wine. The note on that is written in a different hand. Maybe Croaker's: "You might need this, considering what you're going to be doing. —C."

Lavos II: Even planet-eaters get presents. Specifically, a cylindrical parcel. Inside it is a scale map on parchment of Imperial territory. Touching any of the territories will cause it to shift to sketched drawings of the location, and Croaker's annotations on points of interest. Included is an elegant, handwritten note different from Croaker's script: "This is but a mere trinket, but perhaps it may provide some amusement, and satisfy some of your curiosity. You are of course welcome to visit personally at any time. —The Lady." Included is a bottle of fine Imperial wine. The note on it matches the annotations; Croaker's script: "This is for Susan. She might need it. I think. —C."

Loros: What do you get the Wizard who has everything? A small parcel. Inside are magical components, all of which are rare and hideously expensive within the bounds of Imperial territory. Included is a bowl of obvious enchantment, and a large sealed vial of mercury with which to fill it, probably for scrying. Tucked inside is an elegant, handwritten note: "These are no doubt but trinkets to you, to hear talk of your reputation. Still, they may find some use. I look forward to seeing what you might accomplish with or without these. I would be interested in meeting with you soon. —The Lady."

Number Nine: The King Golem gets a basket, not unlike the one he'd given. Included are a sampling of fine Imperial wines, cheeses, and sliced breads. Tied around the handle is a note in elegant script: "I have no doubt that we will be working together in some measure. Still, you are perhaps not so damaged as you think. Stand tall. —The Lady." Attached to that note is a different one in what must be Croaker's hand: "Thanks. I think. —C."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/70 Posted Author An Avenger's Gifts Fri Dec 13 Thor Odinson


Starting off, Thor focuses on the people who he knows best; The Avengers and fellows of his world.

Tony Stark will get an iron helm with folding faceplate, not unlike the helmets on his own suits. He also gets a bottle of some of the finest Asgardian ale Thor can acquire on short notice.

Steve Rogers gets a cloak clasp not unlike that of his own shield in appearance. "This is a totem of blessing for Asgard's finest soldiers, all who have it have earned them in battle through acts of valor, leadership, and martial skill in the face of sheer defeat and victory alike. You have earned this as well, Steve Rogers of Midgard. Fight well, my friend." a note attached says.

Bruce Banner gets a stress ball styled in the form of Loki's head. Apparently it was a gag item that Thor found on World-199999 during his shopping. Note - "I still have not forgotten your grievances with my brother. I am sure he will have a sense of humor about this."

Clint Barton will get a charm intended to go on his bow and arrow. It is a charm all archers tie to their bows as they go into battle, something started by a hunter named Ullr.

Pepper Potts will be given a masterfully crafted short sword, forged and etched with runes of 'Virginia Potts' on the blade that glows with a gentle blue light. The sword will glow more fiercely when it's swung, evidently projecting an energy field the minute it's not in the scabbard, and will only prove dangerous when swung.

Natasha Romanoff acquires a set of throwing knives, similar to the ones that Loki used once in battle. When thrown and upon hitting a high enough speed through the air, they'll cut through armor with ease and eliminate even some of the most well armored warriors with a good enough aim.

Loki will get a short note from Thor about a lass named Sigyn, 'The most patient and gentle maiden of Asgard, you remember her don't you? She and I spoke not too long ago, and she wishes to see you again.' Whatever Thor is playing at, it's not trick.

Yoko Kazehara will acquire a beautiful winter shawl for the colder weather, one that is fiery red and orange in appearance that seems enchanted to not catch ablaze. In fact, it probably will only conduct fire but be no less harmed for it the minute Yoko dissipates her flames.

With his friends and brother handled far as gifts go, Thor opts to focus on the allies he's met in the Multiverse now.

Toph Bei-Fong gets a shimmering stone resembling jade, something that pulses with a sort of aura to it. Another addition for her collection, Thor supposed.

Faruja will get a shield, yes a shield. It's made of the finest lumber and steel Asgard's forges can make, and it has an etching of runes that glow blue when it defends against strikes. Included is a broadsword used by the best of footmen of Asgard in service to their king. A note comes with it - "Let your faith be manifest in the form of this shield. With it, Faram will protect you even against the most mighty of foes."

Lyner Barsett gets a mace. Yes, a mace. It's been augmented to enhance physical blows in the form of electricity. Basically it's Mjolnir-lite, and given Lyner's own powers, it'll hurt like HELL on the enemy.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/71 Posted Author Heaven or Hell Christmas Sat Dec 14 Psyber


We'll start with Heaven or Hell Group Gifts.

First To the Residents:

Abstractum.Adjudicator - What do you get a sword? Well, Psyber actually sets of a set of wall mountings that allow Adjudicator to more or less be hung anywhere in the office Psyber might normally be and give advice (or vague judgments) with more convenience.

Adelaide Flowers - Psyber is bad at shopping for Adelaide Flowers, but he manages to get it done. One day, coming into her workshop, she will find an adjustable-bore cut rifling machine in one corner of the workshop with a large red bow on it and a note that says 'From Psyber'.

Hastur - Hastur gets an actually usable sample of Psyber's blood and the outlines for a seal-breaking ritual he clearly designed some time ago. Also a set of looted (Then paid for, goddamn Adjudicator) kitchen knives of a high quality.

Keolakupaianaha - Keo gets a karaoke machine and a few new dresses for herself.

Laine - Laine, like last year, gets a new collar and some stuff to chew on. She ALSO gets a few perches constructed at various places in the office for her to hang around on in owl form.

Lilitu - To Lilitu, Psyber gifts a pair of guns. Specifically, they are Psyber's most-used pre-Thompson Sisters 1911s, WWII-era. They come with no ammunition and with a note telling her she won't get any till she goes through gun safety courses. But it is still a heartfelt gift from him.

Nathan Hall - Nathan receives the 100 dollar Barnes and Noble card Psyber snuck into his wallet when he mugged him. Also if someone ever trips the Rube Goldberg Christmas Machine Psyber set up in the library, it would go through a variety of Christmas-themed machinations before causing a Kindle to fall into Nathan's hands. The Kindle comes with 200 dollars of Amazon store credit.

Sakura Haruno - To the ninja that wants nothing, Psyber gives a suit. And some casual clothes. And then something she ACTUALLY wants like '100 Dollar Gift Card to the Chinese Restaurant Nearby'. And there's a new door in her room that, when unlocked with a key she finds in it, will open a door to Spring.

Suigintou - Suigintou receives a doll-sized suit. She also receives a doll-sized version of Psyber's normal attire.

Thompson Sisters - Though new to the office, the Thompson Sisters still get gifts. Specifically, a pair of rail passes to let them go to Psyber's iteration of New York. They also receive several new outfits like some blue and white dresses, jeans, red shirts. Like… a couple closets of new clothing (one for each). And finally a set of house keys.

Vervi - Though Psyber rarely interacts with Vervi, she gets a drivable tiny electric car to help her get around without flying.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/72 Posted Author Heaven or Hell Christmas 2 Sat Dec 14 Psyber


To the non-Residents:

Agrias - In response to her sword, Agrias receives the most simple firearm he could think to give. So Agrias receives a Colt Single Action Army along with a big bag of the .45 Colt ammo. It's not a recreation and is actually from the appropriate time period.

Ainsley - Similar to Nathan, Ainsley receives a Kindle loaded with a number of books primarily about history, but also some books about art-drawing and photography.

Amalthea - Amalthea receives a new PS4, an extra controller, along with several games. There's a couple shooters, a racing game, and of course a copy of the new hit fighting game Non-Innocent Cog.

Arthur Lowell - Arthur is hard to shop for by this point, on account of being a cosmic entity as old as his universe. However, Psyber eventually manages to settle on what to get him. And that is one of Kiyoko Saito's theme-music belts loaded with appropriate classic rock songs that will play at perfect moments for Arthur.

Beli Klum and Cecily - Beli and Cecily receive a large mural depicting Dante's Arrival in Hell from Dante's Inferno. It also comes with a note expressing pride on her personal growth.

Cas - Cas receives a couple assault rifles. And a sweater. There's no real correlation between the two.

D - D receives a Browning Hi-Power. It comes with several clips of specifically anti-paranormal bullets.

Eila Juutilainen - Eila gets a recreation of her LOGAL suit, completely recreated and with a Thompson Submachinegun.

Eleanor - Eleanor receives a set of actually modern clothes. Jeans, sneakers, leather jacket and a tanktop.

Hero of Courage - Hawk is gifted a sniper rifle. It's an odd gift for her, but it comes with a note: 'I know you're good with a bow and arrow, but if you wanna learn another weapon, I can teach you'.

Himei - To Sailor Hope, Psyber sends her a large, oil-painting sketch of Himei flying through the sky on Technicolor wings, trailing an iridescent stream of sparkles behind her and wielding an actual rainbow in her hands. In a plaque at the bottom of the tastefully oak frame it has engraved: Sailor Rainbow, December 9th AU 21

Homura - Psyber's favorite time-manipulating Lich is gifted a specially designed watch. It will keep up with Homura's frequent timestopping and adjust time accordingly to give her an accurate read of how much time has passed inside and out. She also gets a Taurus Judge, which she will probably enjoy.

Hope's Light - Psyber had some trouble shopping for Hope's Light, but does at some point settle on something. The Metis is given his personal research diary on the whole apocalypse. Or a copy of it, anyway. It features his personal account of her deeds, as well as most of his notes on the Apocalypse of her world. It's less factual and features many of his personal perspectives and viewpoints.

Jack - Jack receives a new surgery kit with modern medical equipment. Beyond that gag gift, Psyber also gives her a stuffed toy that looks like herself.

Kaminagi Setsuko - Setsuko is given, from Psyber, what looks like a handcuff attached to a pauldron. Directions in the box would indicate that if she wears the pauldron and puts the cuff on her wrist, she will no longer need to search for her arm after battles.

Kimiko Shinobu - Kimiko Shinobu receives an ornately carved and designed kite shield. It is hand-forged and features carvings of crossed spears over a roundshield on the front of it. And emblem of sorts.

Kiyoko Saito - Kiyoko gets a totally badass helmet and jacket for her bike. Psyber also gives her a 'license for heroism' laminated card. It reads 'I can do whatever I want' and then features a number to call for verification. Calling the number, if she gets carded, routes to Psyber's cell phone.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/73 Posted Author Heaven or Hell Christmas 3 Sat Dec 14 Psyber


More To the Non-Residents:

Madoka Kaname - To the god that has everything, Psyber gifts Madoka a big box of creampuff pasteries. She also gets a Homura stuffed toy that speaks, and mostly in gloomy quotes Psyber has collected over the past year or two. The Label reads 'Prototype: Homura Ake-Me So Adorable Squeezable Plush Toy'.

Nozomi - Nozomi gets a picture of the first time she and TAIGA met.

Saber - Saber gets several tickets to local 'All You Can Eat' buffets.

Saya Irino - Saya gets a bigger and fancier cabinet to hold all her coffee mugs.

Sayuri Yaguchi - The Puella gets the only gift Psyber could think to give her. A massive bill for various services he's rendered. It comes to an astronomical sum, and will probably piss her parents off massively when she pays it.

Summer Powers - Summer gets another bundle of Psyber's feathers, along with a note expressing pride at how far she has come in the past year.

Undefeated Crow - Maid Outfit.

Vruasa Telash - Vruasa gets a watch Similar to Homura that is meant to steadily match his time-jaunting shenanigans and display an accurate readout. He also gets a diagram for 'Rocket Bacon' in a throwback to something from forever ago.

Elliana Fairchild - Elliana gets her key renewed for another year. She also gets a picture of herself from the time before she absorbed the Shajem. On the back is a note that reads 'No matter what path you walk, it is not too late to change where you are heading. I'm not giving up on you.'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/74 Posted Author Heaven or Hell Christmas 4 Sat Dec 14 Psyber


Now for Gifts To Unionites:

Blossom Rose - Muffin Basket. Vague directions to place in pockets.

Youka - Youka gets a picture of herself from when she first unified. She also gets a photo of herself now. They are side-by-side in a frame to try to illustrate to the Solar how long two years can change a person.

Thionette - Thionette receives a sash and belt that can hold 8 flintlock pistols for that true pirate flair.

Misha - Misha gets a recipe book titled "Cooking With Mir: Recipes So Good They Will Kill You". It mostly chronicles all the weird shit Jakuri and Mir fed him.

Staren - Psyber had no idea what to get Staren, so the catboy gets a boxed set of 'Tables the Toppening: 40001th 9th Edition Core Third Expansion' and its supplemental books. It's the only tabletop that uses a d17 as its primary die.

Ariel - Ariel gets a picture of when she and Psyber worked on a car together. She also receives that car. It's a 1968 Plymouth Road Runner, painted mostly with Primer so she can decorate it how she likes.

Vinyl Scratch - The Pony DJ receives a set of turntables and a new mixing board.

Priscilla - Priscilla gets a Colt Python. It's a mundane gift that secretly has a GPS device hidden somewhere on it so he can tell where the hell she is.

Facheads - The Facheads all receive cards.

Lloyd - Lloyd receives a flintlock pistol. It comes with a note that says 'In many cases, the most effective bullet is the one unfired. Because when that bullet is used, its shot can be heard around the world.'

Tony - Tony already got a pretty huge gift from him not long ago. But Psyber still finds the time to send Tony some beef jerky and a bottle of Brandy.

Ellestaria - Ellestaria gets a giftcard to the restaurant where he first met her. She also gets an apology note for his gift to Ariel.

Yunomi - For those moments she needs to be serious, Psyber has gifted Yunomi a tasteful set of business attire complete with a stylish hat.

Pegasus - Pegasus gets a year-long contract to provide donuts and pastries for Heaven or Hell. Also a note requesting she not kill him for how much he messes with Nathan, with a reassurance it serves a purpose.

Sarah - Sarah gets a bit more of an abstract gift. It's a small necklace made from a vial of pure and old water, harvested from before man could even put ships in the water. Pure, untouched sea water.

Frederica - Though their contact was brief, Psyber still gives Frederica a present. Like Sarah's, it's a bit weird. She receives a pendant with a piece of fire turned into a crystal via magic. The crystal glows and flickers and radiates a gentle warmth.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/75 Posted Author Heaven or Hell Christmas 5 Sat Dec 14 Psyber


And now on To Confederates:

Psalm - A boxed set of Queen albums.

Chrysanthemum - A book of hand-written one-lingers.

Dracula - A copy of 'Dracula' signed by Bram Stoker.

Laer - A card thanking her for her help in Sburb. Also because he doesn't know what else to give her, it has a gold coin in there too.

Cirno - Cirno receives a very long and detailed letter stating he will always be grateful for Sburb and how he will likely never be able to adequately pay her back for that. Along with it are a number of photos of their work together, depicting them laughing or being vexed over puzzles.

Mordred - Vague death threats are countered by even vaguer threats to show her non-specific affection, since death wouldn't scare Mordred.

Kotana - A book of zingers.

Mir - The same thing Misha got.

Loros - A box with a bomb in it. Under the bomb in a blast-proof box are high-quality cigars.

No. 9 - Nine receives a card. And a Desert Eagle. And a note saying he'd be more tolerable if he stopped lecturing Psyber.

And Finally To Unaffiliates:

The Emperor - A photo showing the progress the newly rebuilt Thorns is making in being in Creation.

Fiora - A fountain pen. A simple fountain pen. And a restored, fixed, rebuilt Rolls-Royce Phantom II.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/76 Posted Author Gifts from Taro Sun Dec 15 Taro


Dracula Vlad Tepes - A desk clock of the analog and gothic style. While its cabinet is carved from bioengineered wood, the inner workings are entirely mechanical. The enclosed card reads: 'Thank you for the opportunity to prove myself once more. Happy New Year.'

Serori - A datapad preloaded with useful software, including audio/video capture and editing for field reports, appointment calendar, an auto-downloader for filed reports, voice-to-text automatic dictation, and a whack-a-mole style game titled "Smack A Lute". Enclosed is a card: 'In the absence of a squad of interns, I found these to be extremely useful in my time as General. I pray for your continued success.'

SHODAN - Her gift will be delivered in person.

No. 9 - An iron teapot with five green ceramic-looking mugs that are much more stain and break resistant than they appear, all appropriately Golem-sized. There's also a large box with a note: 'Do not open until 1st January.'

Noel Choyuz - An elegant laspistol with matching holster, along with a card: 'It would be my pleasure to provide lessons if you would like them.' Skye receives a gift subscription to ALO.

Medusa Gorgon - A ceramic teaset decorated with red Greek Key design, along with a selection of teas (blended from Taro's personal recipes) enclosed in airtight tins. The accompanying card wishes her a happy new year.

Ragna the Bloodedge - A set of elegant eversharp ceramisteel kitchen knives, along with a cutting board that can withstand them. The accompanying card wishes him a happy new year and advises that the knives were not tested against live sharks.

Fuki - A new and nicer Shinki Travel Case containing a battery-powered recharge cradle and entertainment center, tray table and easy access to jelly cans, and accessory storage drawers. The accompanying card reads: 'I intend to bring these to market once I find a proper distributor. Any feedback is appreciated.'

Madame Machina - A refrigerator-sized box containing smaller boxes of widely assorted widgets, gadget bits, nuts, bolts, screws, transistors, and LEDs. A reusable cooler containing a gallon of ice cream, packed in dry ice. The accompanying card reads: 'To assist in your next bout of genius.'

Haytham Kenway - A fountain pen made of a break-resistant composite, with a couple of small press buttons along the top. The instruction manual enclosed with it explains that the pen will record and store whatever is written with a literal press of a button and then upload it to a computer with the press of another. The accompanying card reads: 'I hope you will find this useful out in the field.'

Slime - A set of armor. That it looks suspiciously like a hollowed out bowling ball is purely coincidence.

Winry Rockbell - A pocket-size travel chess set, along with a card: 'For the next time we meet each other unexpectedly.'

Bladewolf - A large storage locker in Neo Arcadia-00001 prepaid for one year. Inside is a set of replacement knives of the same quality given previously, and a card: 'Because the open road does not lend itself to the storage of things. Enjoy your freedom.'

Taro's other 'preferred associates' receive a hand-written card wishing them a happy new year.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/77 Posted Author Heaven or Hell Gifts! Sun Dec 15 Eleanor Lamb


There is a special delivery to the main offices of Heaven or Hell! A number of couriers bring in a series of gifts for the offices and residents. The first is a massive collection of Christmas cookies, enough to feed those who may not already have this particular sampler. They are packed in mismatched tupperware containers and haphazardly packed, but each one comes with Christmas cards on top from the Little Sisters. The cookies are also presumably made by the Sisters, owing to the variety of cookies, from neat little jam tarts to chocolate sugar puffs to a hodgepodge mishmash bar that might be a Frankenstein version of a rice krispie treat but has all the breakfast cereals in the house instead. Whatever liquor cabinets there are in the office will also find themselves stocked with late 1950's vintage alcohols, from vodka to rum to whiskey to bourbon to absinthe and other beverages. Notably, there is also a supply of genuine quinine tonic for making gin and tonics the proper way. MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE SISTERS!


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/78 Posted Author Re: Gifts for Fiora Mon Dec 16 Vruasa Telash


One final gift is added to the pile for Fiora O'Brien, and it is easily missed: A pair of extremely minimalistic computerized glasses with a slim, black frame. A copy of Trollian has been installed on them. An open notepad-style program called SHITSCRIBBLES instructs her to get the activation key from Vruasa, along with noting the captcha code for the device. (UPGRADE REQUIRED.)


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/79 Posted Author Shinki-Sized Christmas Mon Dec 16 Metta


To Fayt Ravus: A Shinki-sized box, heavy enough to be a shinki. In reality, it is a handsome triple-threaded dragon made up of gold, silver, and rose-gold; it seems to have taken her quite awhile to hand-make, and is set with a ruby eye.

Fuki: A bright pink, shinki-sized butterfly plush. She also gets a note: 'Thank you~! I'll make sure to use it soon. - Metta'

Vervi, Lisbet, and the other Shinkis: A gift card to the Shinki Shops. 'Buy yourselves something pretty~'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/80 Posted Author Gifts From Death Mon Dec 16 Keolakupaianaha


No, not that death. Keo!

HoH: Everyone even vaguely affiliated with HoH receives a free slice of cake and drink certificate to Keo's favorite eatery at home - known for it's famed, ultra-rich will-kill-you-via chocolate Death Cake.

Psyber: Also receives the certificate, but he also receives some of the special weapon-cleaning creme and supplies that Keo herself uses for her scythe.

Beli & Cecily: The pair receive a combined gift, consisting of several certificates tor free dinners, free spa for two, and a couple of nights stays out at more fashionable places.

Kurama: (I'M SORRY): Kurama gets a lovely black scarf with nine red tassels on each end. Music notes are embroidered on to each end as well. Included is also one of the many cake certificates; Keo probably paid all of their Januarys' month rent, at this point. Included is also a ridiculously 80's styled mixtape of her favorite music.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/81 Posted Author Alchemical Santa Gifts Mon Dec 16 Bo Holder


Bo has managed to send out a few gifts without local police coming after him wherever he is. Apparently he's been storing some materials he's found on his travels and using them now.

Veiled Lily: A luxurious Gill Scarf matching her normal outfit with a note, 'Try swimming with it. Trust me.'

Winry Rockbell: A Flaw Scanner imbedded into a mechanics glove with a small essence battery. Also a Silver Pen. Both include a note explaining what they are and a note at the bottom of the instructions. 'Since I gave you a headache explaining the car, here's some things to help. Sorry the battery pack has to be charged.'

Medusa Gorgon: A large couch is delivered with an instruction 'Ask the Confederate Exalted about Thousand Comforts Lounge. They'll know what this is. Might change it to something you can use.'

Arthur Lowell: An Audience Pen is received along with a note. 'Put some power into it, a paper under it, and start talking. Keep the insults flowing. Pretty refreshing hearing some that aren't screamed first!'

Vruasa Telash: An Audience Pen is received with the same note as Arthur's.

Frederica: She receives a Gill Scarf and a note to go swimming with it sometime. No explaination as to why.

Zephyr Windstar: A Winterbreath Cooler with a note. 'Enjoy!'

Tony Stark: Receives a USB drive with detailed plans on different mechanical Charms that Bo has. Specifically the Piston-Driven Megaton Hammer, his Accelerated Ascendant Configuration, and the Toroidal Shockwave Catalyst array. And a note: 'Might need to find a power source and modify a few, but I figured you might like to use these or keep them for future suits.'

Pepper Potts: A Fire Pearl. With a note: 'Set Tony on fire with this whenever he gets out of hand. Alternatively, set paperwork as well.'

Sakura Kinomoto: A small ornate dream catcher. It's been decorated with small pieces of different jade crystals and a small diamond-like admant in the center. 'Found this on my travels. Jade crystals are from my many experiments. Didn't get a chance to enchant it.' Also included is a hand written manual on Five-Dragon Style with a note that the Fight card might like it.

Vince Hart, Yuri Stinson, and Madeline Vance: All three receive the same gift. A USB detailing out the notes that Bo used including video files and a look at the process he went through in his head for the Accelerated Transcendant Configuration, the basic schematics for his Piston-Driven Megaton Hammer with question marks on the materials used, a small action figure-like painted wood model of their robots with moving parts, and a note. 'Hey, robot person! Thought you might be able to use this. I don't know. Different type of Exalt and all. Enjoy if you can.'

Staren: A USB with schematics on the Piston-Driven Megaton Hammer and an Audience Pen. 'Thought you might like some crazy stuff.'

Fayt: Receives a fishing rod and a large yellow exclamation point sign with ceiling hangers. 'Take a break once in a while.'

Aaron Smith: A tool set and an instruction manual on how to fix Exalted materials properly.

Youka: Schematic notes in a small book format on what appears to be one of his Charms. A note explains, 'Personal Gravity Manipulation Apparatus. Everything tends to break when I walk on it with this, but I figure you might have some fun if you can adapt it.' Also a small glass figurine of a firey bird in flight.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/82 Posted Author Alchemical Addition Mon Dec 16 Bo Holder


Bo forgot a gift or two apparently.

Zelgius and Precia Testarossa: Both receive a bit larger than normal Winterbreath Coolers designed to be either portable or kept in offices. With notes. 'Mini-fridges for the long nights or on the road.'

Kurama: Receives a pair of ornamental kukri knives depicting foxes that do nothing special with a note. 'You're a hard one to get a gift for.'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/83 Posted Author Gifts from the blue Tue Dec 17 Vervi


Nathan Hall - "A Treatise On Shinki Politics", a recently released book by Shinkiworld-famous Artificial Intelligence expert Junichi Geroya. It discusses the unique sub-society created by shinki in the ten years since their introduction. Matters such as the priority of Master, their own concepts of fun and social gathering, and an entire chapter on the Shinki 'obsession' with competition and contests as seen in public spectacles in city parks worldwide. The book goes into great detail about how the value of Master, while initially a programmed quality, has 'evolved' into an accepted and natural part of the culture that Shinki have created. The inside cover has been signed by the author and, under it, Vervi has written "Master!" and doodled hearts and stars and action lines around it.

Psyber - A business card. It appears to be made using markers and cardstock. It claims to be from "Shinki Exterimination Services" and bears a stylized drawing of a determined Vervi's face. It promises the "complete extermination of mice, cockroaches, and other small pests." Under that, "Services are free!"

Fuki - "Multiverse's Greatest Ninja Bloopers Caught On Film". A DVD compilation of over 3 hours of various ninjas — from feudal japanese assassins to ultra-futuristic cyborgs — failing at typical ninja tasks in hilarious and often unexpected ways. Tucked inside with the DVD is a small card: "Thank you for the gift! I hope this makes you laugh, these guys are really bad at this and you make being good at it look so easy. — Vervi"

Lizbet - A digital collection of shounen manga, 10 volumes of a comedy-adventure titled "Trials of Himesama". Since it's still being made, the collection is 'subscribed' so Lizbet can get the newest issue each month. Included is a message from Vervi: "You try so hard to be the hero! This is also about a hero but he's still learning how to be a true hero. I thought you might enjoy reading this at night with your favorite jelly can and a warm charger."

Metta - Vervi has relinquished one of her L Swords! It's a straight-bladed laser sword. When turned off, it's very small and compact and easy to store. With it is a Shinki-sized card: "I know you don't like to fight, but it's not a bad thing to be ready in case things don't go well. I hope you find this easy to carry and use it to keep yourself safe. ~ Vervi"

Kotona - A shinki-scaled sword. It's from a similarly scaled action figure and made out of plastic rather than being battle-ready like a real shinki weapon. It comes in a box marked "Excalipoor".

Serena, Lilith - Jelly cans! Vervi does not actually know what kinds they like, and so she guessed… based on the color of their equipment. Which means Lilith is given a large case of Blackberry and Serena recieves a similarly large case of Spearmint Vanilla.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/84 Posted Author God-Cleaver Gifts Tue Dec 17 Kaminagi Setsuko


Once again, Setsuko has taken the salary she spends so little of throughout the year and splurged on gifts for her friends and allies.

-Kimiko, Sanya and Eila each get: A handmade wooden bento box, stained blue and lacquered, with the emblem of a blue dragon coiling its way around a sword, against a six-pointed snowflake background. Inside is a calligraphed note: 'The crest of the Kaminagi, as best it could be recreated. This is a small gift, but I hope it will serve you well.'

-The Puella Magi: The loft has been gifted with an Akita Inu puppy. Included is enough dog food to last a month, a certificate indicating the dog has been given all the proper vaccinations for its age at a Mitakihara vet, and a calligraphed note. 'Dogs are strong, fiercely loyal, enduring, can be taught a variety of work and have more stamina than any animal their size. I think all of you deserve such a friend, and I know he'll be well taken care of.' -The Strike Witches: Setsuko has sprung for on-base catering for an entire 24 hours, covering the entirety of December 23rd. Chefs of a dozen different nationalities are on hand, ensuring that all the Witches can get cuisine of just about any type they want.

-Agrias: A pair of matched winter cloaks in navy blue, with minor enchantments to improve their resistance to cold. And a chew toy for last year's Christmas gift. -Amalthea: Amalthea receives two things. A gleaming shield of enchanted metals, elegant and bright, with heraldry on the front befitting a king. And tied to the grip on the back is a calligraphed note: 'The bearer of this shield is entitled to the services of Kaminagi Setsuko, final general of the Clan Kaminagi, as a knight and retainer for the span of twenty-four hours. This may be redeemed at any time. -Lest: A cloak similar to the one given to Agrias, but with an added durability enchantment, and the same heraldry as that on Amalthea's shield embroidered on the back. The calligraphed note reads: 'As the king bears a shield, so does the queen don her raiment.' -Ariel: A cloak just like Lest's, and a large chew toy for Iyoshi. -Psyber: A bright yellow Vespa with Heaven or Hell's logo on the front. The calligraphed note reads: 'I hear a company car is good advertising. -Sakura: A large textbook on esoteric medical techniques from around the Multiverse, and a pair of navy-blue gloves enchanted for warmth. -Himei: A new sheath for the blade Setsuko previously bought her. It bears the same crest on the bento that Kimiko, Sanya and Eila received. The note reads:' The crest of the Kaminagi, as best it could be recreated. May the sword ever be your ally, and may the sheath ever keep your ally close.' -D: A simple, extremely well-made shortblade, enchanted both for durability and with basic magical-defense-piercing properties. The note reads: 'This blade's sister lasted a solid hour in my hand. For anyone else, that should translate to a century or more of constant use before needing repair. It should fill your off-hand reliably.'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/85 Posted Author Otome Presents Tue Dec 17 Rena Sayers


Rena is still relatively new to the Multiverse, but nonetheless, she sends out plenty of gifts to those she's met, on both sides of the Factions.

UNION:

Puella Magi - Each girl gets a scarf, colored to match her respective Soul Gem. They're quite soft and warm, and include a handwritten note. "I'm glad I could help, even if it was only a little. If you ever need a helping hand, I won't be too far away. You're never too far from a friend, willing to help you, no matter what you're having trouble with."

Kaminagi Setsuko - Setsuko is given a card, which includes a gift card, for a nice department store in Windbloom. "Thank you for helping me, in my time of need. I'm afraid I didn't know what to get you, seeing as we've only met briefly, but I hope to change that in the future."

Arika Yumemiya - Likewise, Arika gets a card with the same gift as Setsuko. "I don't know you nearly as well as I would like, but I hope to change that. Our fight during the Tournament was very exciting! Thank you for the opportunity. Otome don't often have the chance to fight on peaceful terms, anymore."

CONFEDERACY:

Cell - He recieves a visa, approved for travel to Windbloom, so he can use the gift card she sent with it. "Respecting the strength of your opponents is a lesson that Otome learn early on. If you don't, you'll lose sight of your objectives, and the things that you fight for, that are the most important. I learned a lot from our bout in the Tournament. I hope to learn more, so that next year, the outcome might be different."

Mordred - Likewise, Mordred is given a travel visa and gift card. "I fought nothing but strong opponents during the tournament, and you were certainly no exception. I'm hoping that we'll meet in the Tournament again, and that it will be just as exciting."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/86 Posted Author Sub-standard gifts Tue Dec 17 Rosamarie Alba


Though Rosamarie is quite new here, she's decided to give a little to those who've made an impression on her.

Faruja gets a couple of books from Maiden Earth. Not explicitly religious, they've still got undertones and have protagonists that thrive on a measure of faith and skill. The sort of stories that could be easily approved-of by a religious person without being explicitly linked to a particular deity.

Yamato gets a figma of her namesake. An attached note reads, "They haven't started making a figurine for you as a Fleet Maiden that I've found. I'm sure they will, but until then this will have to do."

Evangeline gets a print of an ocean view, showing some small piece of a rocky coast and a lighthouse but mostly a whole lot of open sea. Almost lost in the haze of distance, a lone ship can be barely made out in the middle of all that ocean. The attached note reads, "This is to put on your wall in your room. Please don't try to wear it."

Zephyr Windstar gets a dvd animated movie about a young girl who flies and has various adventures. (OOC note: Something very similar to Kiki's Delivery Service)

Noble Six gets what's probably the most cynical gift in the modest collection of Alba's gifts for the season. An Elvari model from her world's shops, its features distorted to look like the worst sort of cartoon villain. It's dressed up in various clothes that make it bear a passing resemblance to The Howler. The attached card: "A battle well-fought and worth remembering."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/87 Posted Author Puella Gifts (1) Wed Dec 18 Homura Akemi


These gifts are hand-delivered by Homura (in her Christmas getup and all) to the other Puella Magi. Other gifts forthcoming!

Mami Tomoe: It's a stuffed Charlotte! Not a corpse, just a plushie. If you squeeze it the caterpillar part comes out of the mouth a bit. Also some more cookbooks.

Kyouko Sakura: Homura bought a new fridge for the loft and filled it.

Sayaka Miki: Swords. But not just any swords! Replicas of her Witch's blades. There's also a new MP3 player, with a few recorded songs on it— recorded, yes, not stock MP3s. They're some of Niccolo Paganini's songs, with his own commentary.

Hitomi Shizuki: A violin. It seems extraordinarily old according to its inscriptions, but… it's like brand new? Hello, Temporal Wastes. "You should learn to play too. Granted, an original Stradivarius might be a bit much to play on…"

Kimiko Shinobu: A small wrapped present. It's a ring! It's golden. Kimiko's name is engraved inside… in runes? Oh, this is going nowhere good. There's a note. "I couldn't think of a way to top that time I gave you your own Grief Seed, so I'm giving you your broken Soul Gem reforged into a ring. Enjoy." There's also a pre-paid coupon for a visit/purchase from some high-tier blacksmith, to make up for it. Probably Lloyd Irving, but it could be anyone else.

Sayuri Yaguchi: "I don't know you that well, so…" Included is an old puzzle box from Ancient China, given its make and design. On top of being pretty hard to open, and no solution is included, it can store small things inside. Already inside are a few jade coins. Homura probably did not open it.

And finally, Madoka Kaname: There's not really a way to go over the fact last Christmas, Homura gave her a replica of her own Soul Gem. That's as symbolic as it gets. Madoka also has no use for for material gifts all things considered, and so instead, Madoka is given a fancy pad of Homucoupons. There's about a dozen kinds. A 'get out of grumpy face' coupon, a 'do whatever you want for one day' coupon, a 'one hug' coupon, and so on. They should be used wisely!


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/88 Posted Author Doll Gifts Wed Dec 18 Suigintou


Vervi- Vervi gets the world's littlest cannon. It may seem tiny for a human, but it's probably just about the right size for a shinki. "We haven't interacted much, but when I saw this I thought of you." Image

Psyber- Suigintou has taken a broken action figure and, apparently, fixed it up quite a bit. She has replaced the hair, mended or replaced broken limbs, and painted over flaws that couldn't be fixed. The flaw itself isn't alive or anything, but it looks kindof like Psyber striking an action pose. It's clearly a hand-made gift, but a lot of care went into it. Included is a vague note that simply says: "Returning the favor."

Lamb- Suigintou has taken a number of the most pristine dolls she could find and given them to the Little Sisters. Plushies, action figures, barbie dolls (and other things along those lines) and so on. Included is a note to Eleanor Lamb, "Thank you for the dresses. I hope your Little Sisters enjoy these.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/89 Posted Author Strike Gifts Wed Dec 18 Eila Juutilainen


Sanya- Gifted Privately

Francesca- Francesca gets a couple of bugs in a jar. These bugs are not from earth and are in fact alien bugs. Probably found in the Void somewhere. They aren't likely to try and take over your brains or anything dangerous, but they're certainly strange looking.

Shirley- A remote control plane. It's a toy from a more modern world, but it looks like a WW1 era biplane.

Psyber- A russian nesting doll. Except that each doll is painted up to look like a frog. After opening the innermost frog, a set of poppers immediately goes off.

Evangeline- A note that says: "We haven't interacted much yet but I hope to get to know you soon!" Included are some chocolates because what do you even get a Neuroi?


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/90 Posted Author Parasite Gifts Wed Dec 18 Lavos II


The Lady- Lavos sends the Lady of Charm a history book. The history book seems to be written by Lavos herself, and it details the major historical events of Lavos's own world. It also has included with it some maps of the world at different eras, so that one could note the changes over the years. It starts really early in the prehistoric age and goes all the way into a bleak future that, apparently, no longer exists due to time travelers.

Nine gets a gift basket. It has chocolates, wine, some fresh fruit and a loaf of french bread.

Magus Zeal gets a carton of ice cream. If he empties the carton, then at the bottom there is a message: "This is all that remains of an ice cream planet I found a while back. I hope you enjoyed it!" It's (probably) not true, but that doesn't stop the space parasite from trying to horrify her long-standing nemesis.

Ketsuuko gets a very detailed thank you note expressing how grateful Marcos is to be alive thanks to her, along with a bottle of red wine.

Susan gives Croaker a clip board and a set of writing utensils. Attached is a note: "I hope these things will make your life a little easier."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/91 Posted Author Dark Gifts Wed Dec 18 Dark Force


Gofers - A set of wind-up penguins that, once wound up, walk forward for a few feet before exploding. The explosions launch bits of red and green confetti, but they pack a bit more punch than they probably should and probably could hurt someone if they were holding the penguin or something. Addtionally, Dark Force has filled Bacterian HQ's freezers with gallons and gallons of ice cream.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/92 Posted Author Cell Gifts Wed Dec 18 Cell


Serori- A gift card for a catering service that will deliver right to her office on a day of her choice. There is enough food provided to feed at least 20 normal humans, and it's a wide variety of meat, cheeses, wine and beer, bread rolls, salad, shitake mushrooms, along with a desert of heavy, heavy chocolate cake with chocolate fudge icing and fudge in between each later of cake, topped with whipped cream and ice cream. She also gets a new barbell that includes weight levels more in line with what a Saiyan should be able to lift, along with a t-shirt that says, "Yeah, actually I DO lift." The t-shirt is made out of the same kinds of super-stretchy fabrics that are common in Saiyan armor.

Mr. Satan - A set of training weights that are heavy enough for Cell to use. They are probably way too heavy for any normal person to try to lift, let alone safely use for exercise. Cell will attempt to deliver these personally, but if for some reason he can't find Mister Satan he'll just leave them on his front porch.

Everyone who faced Cell in the WMAT gets a green colored punching bag, and a thank-you note for being a worthy opponent. Gilgamesh especially gets a black felt top hat with a gold band around it, because Cell doesn't think he's met anyone who was more of a gentleman.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/93 Posted Author Last Minute Alchemical Gift Wed Dec 18 Bo Holder


Apparently Bo forgot someone. A last minute gift is sent out. Rumors have it of a police chase ensuing somewhere in Kansas of the Exalted Modern world.

Toph Beifong: A lump of metal that suspiciously feels different to any other metal for it. (It's a small, less than two pounds of moonsilver.) Along with a note etched into a piece of ordinary iron for her to read and a book on Five-Dragon Style. 'Sorry I almost missed you. Thought you might like to try bending something from the Exalted worlds. Oh, and the book's the style I use to fight. Jarvis might be able to help. Not sure if you can make use of it. It's not slinging rocks around, but it's still great in it's own way.'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/94 Posted Author Puella Gifts (2) Wed Dec 18 Homura Akemi


These gifts are not personally delivered by Homura, as far as people know, but rather spontaneously appear somewhere they would be able to get to them. Probably under their Christmas tree if applicable, otherwise just on a desk or chair they need to use. Time shenanigans have ensued.

Sakura Haruno: A book detailing the art practiced by the shinobi of the Prince Shotoku era of Japan, standing out due to the complete lack of historical wear and tea such old books should show. "Though this isn't from your world's history, I thought you might enjoy it anyway."

Himei: Prototype Sailor Rose Wand artwork, design notes, the never-aired pilot episode and props from the failed live-action adaptation pitch. "I know you like this series, so here's every collector's dream."

Jack: Not knives! Instead, Jack gets freshly printed copies of several newspapers that would have been published around the time of her supposed death, covering Jack the Ripper's legend in Ye Olde English.

Hastur: One of Homura's many notebooks containing pictures, notes and observations on several Witches, as well as the trails she was trying to put together to figure out who Walpurgisnacht is. It does not appear to have ever been finished.

Adelaide Flowers: A card for use with Alchemy, if she ever visits Afterus and can get ahold of Arthur, Vruasa or another one of the kids. It depicts the Bunkersbane.

Kiyoko Saito: Authentic shinobi weaponry. Devoid of wear and tear.

Kaminagi Setsuko: Scrolls depicting techniques from the Hyoho Niten Ichi-ryu (Strategy of Two Heavens as One) school of swordsmanship. "I can't make heads or tails of these but maybe you can. Thanks for all the help over time."

Onikaze Kenshin: A genuine copy of The Book of Five Rings, sans wear and tear. "This isn't as meaningful as if I'd made you something myself, but I lack the crafting talents you have; nonetheless, I think you'll like reading this. It's a piece of history from what used to be your world."

(More gift coming as I type them/get ahold of people I need to get ahold of.)


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/95 Posted Author Puella Gifts (3) Wed Dec 18 Homura Akemi


These gifts are not personally delivered by Homura, as far as people know, but rather spontaneously appear somewhere they would be able to get to them. Probably under their Christmas tree if applicable, otherwise just on a desk or chair they need to use. Time shenanigans have ensued.

Ellestaria: A broken Soul Gem; this one is special in that the motif seems to be a unicorn horn. "You're hard to shop for; I think I gave you something like this last year too, but this one might be more useful to you. I never really bothered having the metal they're made of analyzed, but it's probably useful for something. Just don't ask me to get you large quantities of it."

Hope's Light: A chunk of rock? "This is a piece of the asteroid Rorg, now Ceres, attempted using to end Gaia's suffering back when. I thought it would be something you'd like having, and I have no business keeping it."

Laine: A badass trenchcoat that matches Psyber's usual one, and her own silver ring in the style of the Puella Magi's own ones. It is coated with a thin layer of something protective, just in case Laine still can't stand silver.

Psyber: A book, titled "Bliss of Ignorance: What Is Right and What Is Best". It treats on the history of Heaven, up to the great war, and the philosophical divide between keeping mankind ignorant of evil, or giving them the choice to be as they wish, at potential great cost. A note from Homura, as well, simply stating: "He gave me a copy too; it's the best I could think of giving you aside from guns." The book is penned by Lucifer Morningstar.

Summer Powers: A stuffed Kyubey. As in a stuffed Kyubey corpse, not a plushie. "Please avoid turning this into something people can combine with other things, but for your own use, go nuts."

Eleanor Lamb: Toys and a video game console for the Sisters (and an assortment of darker games for herself). "It should keep them occupied and out of your hair for a litte bit, and give you downtime too."

(More gift coming as I type them/get ahold of people I need to get ahold of.)


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/96 Posted Author Tiny Gifts Thu Dec 19 Lizbet


Lizbet has finally stopped being lazy and decided to get people gifts.

To VERVI - Vervi receives a set of school uniform armour (Japanese sailor fuku version), modified with copious ribbons and other lacey bits to resemble a magical girl outfit. With the gift is a note: "This is a replica of the first gift Kyousuke got for me. I tried to replicate it as well as possible, but I don't have the original any more so the details might be off. I think it would suit you more than it ever suited me." The note is signed 'love, Big Sister Lizbet', oddly.

To METTA - A karaoke game designed to be played on holographic systems, with a teeny tiny Shinki-scaled microphone included. The note included says "Don't even think about asking me to play. But I'll watch."

To FUKI - Pirate armour! Complete with hat, fake plastic claw and sword, and a fake stuffed parrot. Also included is a bunch of Shinki face paints and instructions on making zombie makeup. "Ninja pirate zombie robot. DO IT. Or not. I hope you like the armour."


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/97 Posted Author Golemtide Gifts Thu Dec 19 No. 9


Medusa Gorgon - Nine gets Medusa a set of luxurious bath oils, salts, soaps and soaks, and a wonderfully soft silk robe. '…I wish I could think of what else to get you. You're one of my bestest best friend and I realized I don't know what to get you. Nearly made me cry. If you think of something you really want that I could get for you, please, ask me? Just ask, and I'll do it for you or get it for you, I promise.'

Dracula Vlad Tepes - Drac doesn't celebrate the holidays, but Nine sends gift baskets to his pals anyway, with distinctive notes talking about how it's not for god or anything like that, because fuck that guy. The gift baskets are delicious. Drac gets a reading book, titled 'To Reign In Hell', a fun little book where the main protagonists are angels during the war in heaven, except very much a fantasy story with it's own continuity. It's pretty interesting. 'You're doing a good job boss! I'm glad we have you, and we're glad for you. Thank you so much for all you've done. And for staying safe. Thank you sir. We're grateful'

Loros - Loros gets some good, old scotch. Very good, very old, rather expensive.

Serori - Serori gets furs. A lot of furs. A nice fur blanket, big and perfect for lounging and looking fabulous on. A fur coat, floor length and fully enveloping, we're talking Cruella DeVille level floofy and luxuriously soft, a set of fur-lined leather boots and mittens and a fur-trimmed scarf. Also some pictures of Nine slogging around Skyrim and being mauled by sowy saber cats. 'You work so hard for us, Serori. I love you, I miss you, but I'm glad you're doing so well for yourself, and that you've come so far! I want to take some time to relax together'

Laer - Lazy Golem: Nine gets Laer a set of big squishy floor pillows. One that looks like a piano, one that looks like a lute with a stubby neck and one that looks like a big fat drum that also is more of a beanbag than a pillow really. 'I know I know, musical theme, lazy, but I need to hang out with you more, and I figured these might help you relax, after all the running around you've been doing. You work too hard. Be good to yourself.'

Tesla - Tesla gets an… evening dress? It's slinky but fashionable, made to compliment her colors and patterns and bodyplan. There's a good chance she'd look rather good in it if she chose to wear it. 'You're a smart lady, and a talented lady, but don't forget, you're a lady too, and you deserve to go out and have some fun like any other pretty girl'

The Lady - Croaker gets a warm, full coat, cut in what Nine had managed to see of his style and colors. It's just a touch heavy and a tiny bit stiff, though it seems that it has mild armoring, from high tensile weaves to metallic mesh to small ceramic inserts at key points. Feather gets a similar jacket, though hers is lighter and softer. Which isn't because he didn't armor it, it's just not armored as heavily. Both Feather and Croaker get more wine, but the Lady…? The Lady gets a music box. It's old, and intricate, the little crystal figures that dance when the lid comes up deeeeelicate and intricate, in what looks like a ballroom scene done in crystal miniature to a soft, tinkling silver music. '…Happy holidays, and welcome. We're glad to have you, all of you. I'm glad you're here. Welcome, and be well.'

Lavos II - Sarah gets a set of mittens and a warm scarf, and a hat with a bobbly bit at the end. Lavos gets a chocolate globe, with tiny sculpted marzipan countries. It's like two feet in diameter, and filled with assorted chocolate bonbons, truffles and mousse balls when broken open for devouring.

Crimson Sea - What do you get a pirate with everything? Why booze of course, and a lot of it. The good stuff, too. <3

Samuel Rodriguez - Sam is awesome, one of Nine's good friends, but Nine's not always the best at these gifts things, so he gets a gift basket, filled with chocolates, meats, sweets and fine liquors, and a scarf wrapped around the top.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/98 Posted Author Golemtide Gifts Thu Dec 19 No. 9


Comrade Crush - Nine gets CC booze too, he can't really help it. He's also deathly afraid of insulting the man's sensibilities, though Crush has always been really low-impact and easygoing to him. It's quite the assorted selection.

Madame Machina - Machina gets a set of relaxing bath oils and a soft silk robe, perfect for relaxing with.

Adelyn Lysen - Adelyn gets a rich, soft fur coat, apparently made out of ridiculously floofy white fox fur. A few pictures shows Nine hunting white foxes in Skyrim. A couple of them show him fighting a bear. And by one it shows him getting his face chewed on by a bear. What is visible of his face has a definite D| face.

Fuki - It's a good thing Fuki likes clothing, because Nine dumped a lot of it on her. From a miniature Confederate (North vs South) outfit to fancier, cuter and more- did I say cuter? Fancy, intricate, stylish, but not /cute/ of course. Not cute at all (totally cute). Basically? Lots of stuff, and all of it of course looks adorable on her. 'I'm glad to see you slowed down a little bit; things were getting kind of thick. Now you still need to keep up with yourself, and you need to remember that you have friends who can help you. But I'm glad you seem to be doing fairly well. Luv ya Fuki. Don't forget that. :) <3'

Bain - Last year Bain got a car, and what a car. This year Nine gave the same treatment to a high-powered motorcycle. It's neat, it's expensive, it's fast and it's full of tricks. It's pretty scary. 'We should do another job soon! Especially come January.'

Genghis Rex - Motorcycle. Nine isn't even sure why, but motorcycle. Big roaring monster of a motorcycle, with a sufficiently badass spiky leather jacket to match it. Then to make it a thing, the rest of the team gets a set much the same, although not as intricate or fancy as Rex's. So more than half a dozen in total. 'We should hang out more!

Clock King - Nine isn't sure if CKs gift will be received well or give him an utter conniption. It's a set of pajamas done up in a clock motif. There's apparently a little bit of electronics in it, because when examined, the clocks all display the right time. There is no battery; it seems to operate off of ambient bioelectric energy. The clocks are, of course, always right.

Horus - Horus gets a set of intricate glass animals, of high detail and ridiculous quality. Each sings softly if touched, so intricately they're made. The barest incautious touch would shatter them to glittering dust. '…You need not be what you began as, what some of your brothers in life have done, what they've chosen. If you choose this path, you will not be judged by your Confederate brothers, but let no man tell you what you are or are not. There is far more to you then even you may well see. Let no man nor god nor other being pick your path, and may you find your happiness'

Isa Reichert - Nine has gotten her a warm scarf and a whole lot of high quality alcohol. Mostly vodka. 'We should hang out more!'

Kain - Nine had noticed that Kain seemed to have picked up a bit of a thing for samurai culture and ways, so the Golem King sends him a set of era paintings, showing kirin and tigers and dragons, ect.


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/99 Posted Author Golemtide Gifts Thu Dec 19 No. 9


Kilik - Kilik gets a long leather trenchcoat, though it's a bit odd looking. it's modeled after the look he's managed to catch of Kilik's so far, so it's white leather stitched with pale blue flame overlay around the shoulder bits and the panel on the back, some of the ends of the straps and along the lower edge. There's bits of trim along the edges of the jacket and along the sleeves that show the black and white piping, and the entire inner surface is done in horizontal black and white stripes. The twins get about their body weight in assorted stuffed animals, usually of odd or atypical species. 'I'm glad you're here, you're with us, and that if I ever go monster you'll take care of me. Thanks so much, for everything. You're wonderful, and appreciated. Happy holidays'

Elliana Fairchild - Elliana gets a music box. It's beautiful and delicate and ornate, old, and very fragile. 'I hope that you feel better… and I hope that you… there's a lot of things I hope. You deserve better than even you give yourself. You deserve to be happy. And I wish you luck in this, luck and wellwishes.'

Sanah - Sanah gets a bonsai. An actual bonsai. A rather old one, twisty and tiny. Vulcan, Mr. Sqoosh, Helmut and the rest of the gang get assorted toys, snacks and other gifts, and Nine has one last gift for Sanah; a scarf, a long one, done in the patterns of all her friends; the swinubs' stripes merging into growlithe stripes and neck fluff, the white cloud floof of the swablu, the hard X cross of the metagross and the round spots of the wailord, all to wrap warmly around her neck. 'I miss you'

Mordred (and Bloody Amhar) Mordred gets an assortment of old and expensive alcohols, aged scotches, fine wines and old brandies. Bloody Amhar gets another fresh big jug of Nine's blood; probably minus performance art tho.

Andrew Detmer - Nine sends Andrew something a lot more retro then Andrew's preference in video cameras; a photo album. Bleh. It's pictures. Of Drew. Looking badass, like a freakin superhero, or sitting around with Nine, talking; the two of them sitting together on the floor, taken from what looks like a security camera, spiffed up into an actual photo. A number of pictures like that, and a number taken from his Bishops, invisible soldiers, so they show a certain candid unguardedness, although Nine has consistently managed to portray Andrew in a capable, confident and somewhat majestic light. 'I know I know, it's kind of a lame gift, but I'm not so good with technology.'

Rose Petal - Rosey and her daughter get a set of… not, matching dresses, but they're similarly styled to complement each other's styles and each other's looks, builds, sized, ect. 'I need to spend more time with you, crazy effects bedamned. I miss you, and you need to know how wonderful you are, and I need to also meet your daughter proper-like. My stronger impressions of her are of her, well, asleep.'

Mir - Mir gets a soft jacket, lined in fur, armored inside, pretty, comfy, and protective. It looks delicate, but can take a lot of abuse, so that she doesn't need to. '…You've done a lot for me, and I don't pay anywhere near enough attention to you. You've been a friend and an ally and a help, and I just hope you know you are appreciated, cherished, and loved. Thank you'


Christmas - 2013 Message: 42/100 Posted Author Golemtide Gifts Thu Dec 19 No. 9


Tshallandria - Tschallandria gets some, well, sadly (this is Nine) slightly tacky, somewhat expensive jewelery. It's just a little too large in the wrong ways, but the gems do compliment the different types of gold well, the rose gold woven and layered across the white and gold and frosted silver to look like braided flames along her neck, the citrines and yellow topaz sprinkled across it warming it up. It comes with matching bracelets that actually work a bit better than the actual necklace itself. 'I'm bad at gifts, I'm sorry. You've been so good to all of us, and I wish I could show you how much we all love you.' The Tschallandria's dad gets a gift basket of assorted hand picked ales, smoked meats and cheeses, with jars and pots of assorted salty sweet or savory snacks mixed in. 'You've done an amazing job, we thank you sir for raising such a wonderful daughter and bringing her majesty to the Multiverse. You deserve recognition for your hard work, dedication and skill'

Xiang - Looks like a scarf, done up in his symbol, with a set of magnets in the head and tail end that makes it eat it's own tail after being comfortably wrapped around the neck. 'You'll probably never wear this, but it gets cold and maybe you should look after yourself a little better, so I tried to figure out something you might actually wear. Probably not, but happy holidays all the same. Sir. Um.'

Rita Repulsa - Rita gets a comfy robe done up in a spiderweb motif, done of fur-trimmed silk, with a set of fuzzy footie slippers that looked like squashed, stepped-on spiders, their legs all squiggly and silly looking.

Haytham Kenway - Haytham gets… his jacket? Damn. It's his jacket, faithfully reproduced, but made of high tensile fabrics layered with thin alloy mesh picked out here and there with strategically applied ceramic inserts. It's very carefully done to have almost NO additional weight and stiffness while maintaining a level of armor that would be unheard of in his normal home time. There's also a vest, more obviously armored, more heavily armored, although also pitched towards unhampered mobility, and also geared to match his clothing choices. 'I know armor isn't something that's fun to wear, but please, please please please /please/ at least consider it?' Nine also makes a sizable donation to Haytham's cause (though carefully taken out of his own original money). 'Would it be at all possible for me to convince you into another Golem? I am terribly worried about you'

Bramble Patch - Bramble gets a warm, comfy blanket, quilted with intricate stitching to look like a motif of night plants in moonlight, big enough for two to snuggle under a bed together.

Jinxel - Much in the theme of Nine's recent gifts to Jinxy, Jinxy's recent outfit makes her look like a fierce dragon. Okay more like an adorable dragon. The eyes light up, as do the nostrils. Thankfully he didn't put the flamethrower in the mouth th- no, wait, he did. It's activated by stomping on one of the hoofs, originating about a foot out from her face out of the nostrils. Poor Jinxy…