Dear Sora (Seifer Almasy)
| Dear Sora (Seifer Almasy) | |
|---|---|
| Date of Cutscene: | 11 January 2020 |
| Location: | Moon Cell |
| Synopsis: | It's hard to apologize when you don't know how. |
| Cast of Characters: | Seifer Almasy |
Seifer Almasy sat at his desk. There was a pen in his hand. He didn't normally use a pen - typing was faster, obviously, but he also could email things to himself so he didn't get surprised the next day - but this was a special case. He needed to feel the pen in his hand. He needed to feel the movement of his hands along the page.
Dear Sora.
Sorry.
"I'm not good at this crap." He sat back. Ran his hands down his face. "Help me out."
"Well, neither am I," the grey-skinned giant ghost behind him said, looking over his shoulder, "I think you misspelled 'Sara'."
"You know dang well what I spelled."
Gilgamesh shrugged. "Just trying to lighten the mood. You're kinda beating yourself up over this. Isn't that good enough?"
"You mean 'Sorry'?" Seifer asked, tilting the chair back to look up at the giant. The giant looked down at him, white eyes peeking from a red cowl. "It's not good enough. Not for what today's been like."
"It's a good starting point. Try writing more than two lines."
"Jackass."
Dear Sora
Sorry. I messed up.
"No," Seifer shook his head, scratching it out. "No good." He grabbed another piece of paper as he tossed the crossed-over one aside. "Not good enough."
"I liked where you were going with it. You don't apologize much."
"You bein' funny again?"
"No," Gilgamesh said. He pulled out a phantasmal stool and sat down, staring at the paper. "Maybe try a dot dot dot. What're they called. Eclipses? Elpises? Uh, Ellipses?"
"Yeah, that," Seifer said.
Dear Sora
Sorry. I messed up…
"No, that's weak crap." Seifer crumpled the page and tossed it into the recycle bin. "I can't sound like I got my hat in my hand an' my head all bowed. I feel *bad*, I'm not pathetic."
"You're a little pathetic. I mean you basically hopped into bed with the first Sorceress who came along."
"Tch! I did not."
Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow. Seifer rolled his eyes. "Shove off. I love her."
"I know you do. I'm just saying you were a little fast about it. You're that kind of idiot. You pledged your life to somebody you'd just met, and you're happy about it, because you don't do anything halfway."
"Yeah? And what kind of idiot are you?"
Gilgamesh preened, his cape rolling around him. "I'm a handsome worlds-travelling adventurer with a sword in his hand and a song in his heart who goes about helping people relieve themselves of all their heavy treasure."
Seifer grunted. "You gonna help me or not?"
"Sorry, sorry. OK, try this."
Dear Sora
Sorry.
I know, I know, this ain't my style. Normally I'd just walk up to you an' say sorry to your face. But the thing is, if I do that, I won't remember what I'm apologizin' for. This stuff's gonna be gone by the time I see you again.
An' it's too important to forget.
Today I was the guy you got me to stop being.
Riku knows
"Nope."
Gilgamesh put two of his hands to his face. The two more grabbed a ghostly coffee mug and pot from just off-screen. "We're gonna be here all night, aren't we."
"If that's what it takes!"
"I'm starving."
"You can't eat till everything's on the page. I can't let you take anything from today yet."
Gilgamesh sighed and poured a cup. "So what was wrong with that one?"
"I don't wanna make an excuse." Seifer's fingers tightened around the pen. "I don't wanna say 'Riku knows.' I wanna own up to what I did."
"Why?" The cup sloshed about in the grey giant's hand. "It's true, you know. Riku knows something important. You did what you needed to do. You did the right thing."
The pen cracked. A little bit of ink spilled on the page. "I don't feel like I did the right thing."
"You always do the right thing."
"You sure?"
Gilgamesh shrugged and sipped the cup through his mask. "You're sure. Isn't that what matters?"
"I guess."
"OK. Try this."
Dear Sora
Sorry.
I know, I know, this ain't my style. Normally I'd just walk up to you an' say sorry to your face. But the thing is, if I do that, I won't remember what I'm apologizin' for. This stuff's gonna be gone by the time I see you again.
An' it's too important to forget.
Today I was the guy you helped me stop being.
I made a choice, Sora, between what you helped me learn, an' what I thought needed to be done. An' I chose what needed to be done. I took a look at Riku, at your best friend, and I picked at every wound I could find, just like when I was at Garden. I got my new friends ready to go beat the crap out of him till he speaks, mentally, physically, spiritually. And I'm willin' to do some real awful things to get that information out of him, things that you don't wanna hear about an' I'm not ready to tell you.
I needed to; he knows where you are, an' I need what he knows to find you. But that doesn't mean I'm not ashamed of it. That don't mean I don't see your stupid grinnin' face lookin' at me when I'm tryin' to concentrate on other stuff. An' it don't mean I don't feel like I disappointed you.
The worst part is that I wanted to. He's turned into a real punk, y'know? That guy who talks big and wants to hurt other people to make his dreams come true. I think he'll do anything for that. And I guess I kinda feel responsible. You're not around, so somebody's gotta help him get back on the right path. On the path you'd approve of. I just don't know any other way than this. I never did. This is how I help people. I hit 'em till they learn better. I'm rootin' for 'em, but I don't know how to say that without my fists. I don't know how to say that without pushin' 'em till they stand up for themselves for real rather than hidin' behind posturin' an' bullcrap.
You told me this isn't the kinda thing I should want to do. That I shouldn't want to hurt people, even if it's to help 'em.
But I wanted to anyway.
I know you. I know you'll read this letter, frown, grin, an' say, "Seifer, I forgive you. You tried your best, right?" An' I know I'll laugh an' shrug an' not really answer the question.
This letter answers the question, Sora.
I didn't try my best. I let you down.
Sorry.
"Nope," Seifer said quietly. Gilgamesh slapped his hands against his forehead.
"What's wrong NOW?!"
"I don't know how to sign it."
"Try your name!" Gilgamesh paused. "Well, our names. You know, I'd like to have some credit. Something like Apologetically, Gilgamesh and Seifer."
Seifer turned in the chair, one arm draped over it, to stare at the Guardian Force. Gilgamesh shrugged. Seifer shook his head. "Why would your name be first?"
"Alphabetical order!" The grey giant beamed behind his red mask. Seifer rolled his eyes and turned back to the letter.
"No. I need the right one. This has to be..." Seifer put his head against his hand. "This has to mean something. It can't just be some throwaway Sincerely or Apologetically or somethin' like that. That's stuff you put in a form letter."
"Isn't this the form of a letter?"
"Now you're just being a jackass." Seifer muttered.
"I am always a jackass. But I'm your jackass, buddy."
"Yeah you'll never let me forget that, will you." The Gunblade Knight turned to look at the ghost. "So? Any ideas?"
"OK," Gilgamesh said. "I've got it."
Your Friend,
Seifer Almasy.
