2305/To Redefine One's Future

To Redefine One's Future
Date of Scene:	23 May 2015
Location:	Galianda
Synopsis:	Sanary and Audrey discuss many, many things.
Cast of Characters:	652, Sanary Rondel

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Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    MURASAME HQ, TRAINING HALL.

    Sanary has been invited by Audrey to come visit her on her own time, whenever is convenient for her. Audrey spends most of her time training these days, so finding her is incredibly trivial.

    The room is currently not projecting a holographic field, instead looking like a blank black room with white lines separating floor and ceiling tiles. Futuristic, but lifeless.

    Audrey is currently beating on a dummy that looks an awful lot like Kyra, with her bare hands. No gloves, no weapons. It's unusual even for her, but she must need to express anger and frustration like everyone else sometimes.

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     It had been a while since Sanary had gone to the training hall proper. Most of her time outside of missions, classes, or socializing in some form had been in the medical wings here or back in the Citadel. Today was an exception, though, with the invitation from Audrey.

     Arriving in her usual coat and a new-ish buttoned up shit, she does at least look ready to train with her gunaxe dangling from the hip. Spotting Audrey whaling away on that dummy, there's a bit of an awkward stare from the healer before she actually gathers up the wherewithal to speak.

     "Evening, Audrey. Letting off some steam, eh?"

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    "A bit, yes," Audrey answers, taking a step back from the dummy and rubbing her knuckles. "Miss Rond-- Sanary. How are you?" Typical greeting, can't dive straight into formalities.

    She idly waves her hand, the holodummy disappearing.

    "I suppose I wanted to ask if you'd thought about your predicament at all. Perhaps offer a perspective on it, in person."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Sanary chuckles lightly, albeit just a little awkwardly. Kyra's still technically her senior at school, after all. "Mm... Not bad. Still a little sore and worn out from the past week, but better than expected. You doing alright?"

     Although she still hasn't quite gotten the hang of standing at attention, she has gotten better about moving around all the time. "Predicament? Uh... Oh. You mean the Vega thing?"

     She crosses her arms behind her head. At least she's not swaying around or breaking eye contact. "I called it off. Er... Or is that what this is about? Or... Not related at all?"

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    "No, this is what this was about. But I am not here to tell you whether you should seek Vega's power specifically or not. There are thousands of powers out there. Thousands of variations of the same things, and thousands of unique variants as well. Rather, I am here to test your resolve."

    Audrey unsheathes her gunblade, and with the same motion throws it at Sanary, grip-first. It won't be difficult for her to catch it like that, and that's the point.

    "You were blinded, and fought still. You had your vision restored, and continued seeking improvement. You were uneducated, and filled that hole. Your magic was inefficient, uncontrolled, and you are working on that. You have made no shortage of progress. But do you understand what it is like to want to walk forward no matter the cost?"

    Audrey relaxes, hands at either side.

    "Attack me. Swing with all of your might, as though you wished to cut me in two. Come."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
    Breathing a somewhat relieved sigh, catching the gunblade is a relatively easy task with the way it's tossed over. Sanary keeps her eye focused on Audrey as she speaks, resisting the urge to actually look at the weapon right away despite it being so different from the gunaxe she's gotten used to.

     Keeping her expression neutral is a little harder. Actually hearing about how far she's come does draw a bit of a grin to her face. The question does confuse her somewhat, however, and the order to attack is met with a look of hesitation.

     "You sure? I've got a pretty good swinging arm, so..." She trails off and shakes her head, stepping back to give the weapon a few practice swings first. It's clear that swords aren't her forte at all, but she still holds it out with confidence as she turns to face Audrey properly.

     "Okay, then. Just don't hit me back too hard!" And with that, she lunges at Audrey and brings the gunblade down towards her, adjusting her aim at the last moment for a blow that, if it actually lands cleanly, would be more likely to cut an arm off than get stuck somewhere in the torso.

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    She never intended to hit back.

    Audrey's right hand moves to intercept the blade; it bites clean through to the bone and then some, falling a bit short of digging right past the hand and into the wrist and forearm. It's obvious that this is not standard human endurance; Audrey's tough, but not that tough without her magical abilities. A Monk's ability to Brace is nothing to sneeze at, once it gets going, though. Blood spills down her hand and arm, but it doesn't shake at all. That grip is steady, despite the obvious pain it must create.

    "Dedication is not merely the ability to take a decision. It is the ability to take a decision and stick with it, no matter what happens on the way. No matter the pain you must endure, the challenges you must overcome, and the decisions you'll have to take later. Life, as it is, is nothing more than a chain of decisions."

    Without letting go, she continues.

    "My father could split the sky open with his fist. His ancestor could harness the power of the storm around this continent. And it is said, his ancestor's ancestor traded blows with Ramuh himself, and it is the Divine who taught him to use his fists better. I shunned this lineage. I shunned this lineage because I saw nothing in it for me but misery and sadness. I did not want to be what a lineage wanted me to be. I wanted to be myself. And I knew I wanted to see mister Murasame succeed."

    "That is why, no matter the cost, I will do whatever it takes to make it happen. No risk is too great for my personal goals. If something or someone presents me with power I feel will help me, I will take it without second thoughts."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Holy hell, she actually grabbed it. Audrey's calmness is actually matched for a few moments by Sanary, then contrasted rather heavily once she realizes what she just did. "Uh... Audrey? Your..."

     The healer does have the sense to stop pushing further once the blade reaches the forearm, at least, and the discipline to not talk over her superior while she's speaking. Not even to fret about all the bleeding going on!

     It's just incredibly obvious on her face, is all.

     "O-okay. I think I... Get what you mean. But holy crap, let's get this taken care of first, eh?" She forces a nervous chuckle as she tries to lift the gunblade out of the wound carefully, then start directing magical energy into Audrey's arm. Even with the woman's superhuman endurance, Sanary's still required to fret!

     "You didn't need to... To do /that/ to show me. I mean, it's... /Really/ obvious now because you did it, sure, but... Yeesh. What if I didn't aim there? What if I didn't stop? You could have taken that down to the elbow!"

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    "I could have. Monks are extremely hardy; I could likely catch a blade with my skull to the same effect. I have to commend your swing and strength; it has improved tremendeously. The average troublemaker we deal with cannot get past my skin or muscle, but you almost cut through the bone." It is extremely painful, don't get her wrong. But she's trained to be calm.

    "My purpose was to show you what dedication and strength is like. I accepted that to show you, I had to do something extreme, and symbolic of my ability to follow through on my claims. Hand, shoulder, chest, neck, skull, where you hit didn't matter, and the consequences didn't either. It was necessary, so I did it."

    She'll pull the gunblade out of her hand, or let Sanary do it if she prefers. That's the only point at which she'll wince, revealing she is in fact not immune to pain.

    "Such a wound doesn't matter. I can regenerate it. But there you go. That is what I am. And I hope, one day, it is what you are. Strong. Unafraid. Willing to stand up for yourself, and for your own choices. Selfish people will try to control you-- to shape you. The Legatus and his pawns do not care what you do. They only care that you conform to their rules, their world, their 'Legion'. You heard his words on the radio. He was more concerned your choice would impact his army than its consequences on you. He does not think individuals are free to make extreme choices. I have heard him speak of executing a man for daring suggest the Confederacy should visit their homeland."

    A stern glare. "That man is no friend and no ally. He would have you fall in line with his soldiers rather than pursue your own life and choices. Beware the wolf in sheep's clothing."

    She sighs. "But to tell you this makes me no better. I have no right over whom you choose to befriend and listen to. I warn you because I like you, Sanary. And because the Zaibatsu will NEVER judge you for your choices. You are free, here. Completely free."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Being complimented on her improvements should be maki0ng Sanary feel elated. The past few months have been something of a roller coaster ride for the former pig farmer, and everything that's happened was simply inconceivable back then.

     She's still a just a little too distracted, though, primarily from the gunblade in Audrey's arm. "Ahah... There's /no/ way I was going to put that in your head. That's just... Nope." She laughs nervously and releases the weapon to let Audrey pull it out at her own pace, then goes back to tending to the wound with more magic and holding the sides of the Heritor's forearm to make sure it actually sticks back together properly.

     "Still a little extreme to use this as an example, but... Thanks." The healer's calming down somewhat as she keeps working with the wound, taking a deep breath to give herself a moment to think. "I'm... I'm not afraid to hurt myself. Or other people I don't care about. Or even my friends when it's in training or doing something like... Er. This. With the..."

     She shivers slightly. Sure, she's used to seeing blood and mangled limbs, but it doesn't make working on these injuries any more pleasant.

     "But I draw the line when it comes to hurting my friends in a way they can't recover from. You, Souji, the rest of the Zaibatsu, Lute, Yari, Gaius. Everyone-er. Most of the people in the Confederacy. All of you are important to me."

     She clasps both hands around Audrey's as she channels even more energy into the arm, her eye flickering briefly in the process. "I know you're worried for me and that decision. Especially from listening to a couple of other people more than others. Maybe even a little too much. But it if it was the other way around with you and Souji not wanting me to do a thing? I'd do the same exact thing. Even if it means not flying around or teleporting."

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    "Sometimes, shock and awe is the best way to convey a message. So please, don't worry about it." Audrey shakes her head, sizing Sanary up then.

    "The line you draw isn't necessarily bad, but it is still hesitation. There is no shame in wanting to protect those you care about-- from others, themselves, and yourself. But there is another line you must draw, one day, and that is the line between friends and people attempting to make you something you are not. People attempting to manipulate you. People treating you like a pawn on a chessboard."

    Another sigh, mostly to catch her breath. "The difference here is that mister Murasame or I would never stop you from making your own choice. I am biased in the matter, of course; you have heard my story and reasoning. I do not react well to those who would have me be something I do not want to be. But I felt you deserved the warning and the chance to open your eyes. This is not about Vega; his offer for power has risks, and there is no guarantee it is the power you need. This is about you. Your conviction. Your stride forward. And whether you choose to let the light of your ambition become marred by the shine of greater stars who seek to use you, or to shine greater than all around you and achieve the best you can."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     "Hey. This is what I'm getting paid to worry about." Sanary actually lets out a genuine laugh at that even with the evident concern in her expression and voice.

     She sighs a short while later, though, a troubled frown appearing as she steps back to look over Audrey's arm from a distance. "That's... Yeah. That line's something I gotta figure out. Really would rather have it be easy, but.. Mm. This type of thing can't be easy, huh?"

     She chuckles, although there's uncertainty in this one. "I know you wouldn't. That's why I'm here, and that's why I'll test just about anything you or Souji throw at me. I know nobody here'll give me shit for saying no once in a while." Closing her eye, she lets out another sigh before smirking at Audrey. "Maybe this choice in the Vega thing was a good one. Maybe not. But there'll be other chance. I just need to get more convicted by then. Get a better idea of what's worth doing or not."

     At least she's using some of those words correctly.

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    Audrey makes no objections to Sanary doing her job; she supposes fixing a badly torn into hand is practice worth giving her. Worst case, she can just Chakra it up. No fuss. Just pain, but she's used to it.

    "No. Friendship is never easy, you're right. Not everyone makes friends for the same reason. Not everyone has the same level of dedication to their friends. And not everyone has the same moral boundaries. Some, like Lute, have ulterior motives to their friendships, especially with women. Some, like your Garlean friends, have no qualms about lying and manipulating their friends. You, you are naive. Trusting. Kind. It has weaknesses and drawbacks, but strengths and benefits as well. I just hope you do not fall prey to them. That is all."

    Returning to the matter of the Zaibatsu, Audrey nods. "We are here to support you, whatever your choice. Only you can decide these things. Even if you acquired power that turned you monstrous, I would look at you no differently. And that is the true essence of friendship. I will not threaten you like the Legatus, wielding the impact your decision has on a handful of men under his command. If my men have an issue with your life choices, I do not want them there at all. The Confederacy is a wide, varied, wonderful organization, its people and powers so numerous they cannot be counted. It is no place to be xenophobic."

    "That is why, when one day, you find the path you wish to walk, I will support you regardless of your heading... so long as you do not intend to betray us or the Confederacy. A line must be drawn, after all."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     By the time Sanary stops with the healing, the wound will have probably healed over considerably. Perhaps not enough to put her hand back into perfect condition, but enough to bring it back to it's original as a single unified hand.

     Audrey's words about her friends does seem to strike something within her, and that look of uncertainty continues to linger. "Lute's... Yeah, he's not really good at being subtle about any of that kind of stuff, but he's just worried about me going nuts and eating people. Same with Yari and Gaius since they've had kinda... Shitty experiences with gods."

     A slight pause. "...Same with me, actually. Stupid cult." She chuckles shortly afterwards, eventually settling back in to a slight smile as Audrey continues. "That's good to know, though. I mean, we've got a lot of people here, so it might be hard making sure we're all okay with stuff that we do, but... Thanks. If I ever do turn into a crazy monster, I can at least keep trying to work here or something."

     She pauses again, her brow furrowing slightly as a curious tone comes to her voice. "Gotta wonder, though... Did something happen between you and Lute? Or Gaius or Yari? And..." She hesitates briefly. "If... If you had to choose between betraying the Zaibatsu or the Confederacy, what would you do?"

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    "A bad experience should not sour one to every future encounter. That is folly, and tactical idiocy besides. Galianda was once plagued by the Enemy, Chaos, the great deceiver and destroyer of magic. But that did not shape us into fearing all gods, all divine beings. For every evil, selfish monster out there, there is a benevolent counter. Heroes. Other gods. Other monsters. Can you truly call it a good idea to disregard all this just because you were hurt once? Our enemies are numerous, powerful and endless. If you ignore everything that looks like your enemy, even those trying to help you-- you lose a critical tactical asset."

    Audrey rubs her hand a bit as the healing finishes; she produces a roll of bandages, incribed with a Cure matrix, and starts rolling it up around the wound.

    "I am not worried about you going crazy with power because it is not in your personality. You are kind and gentle. You would not allow power to corrupt you easily. You would fight back and give it hell if it tried. Therefore, I see no reason to block your path based on that risk."

    As for the other questions...

    "Lute is underhanded, dishonorable, and treats women like objects. I don't feel I need to explain it more than that. The Legatus, as I mentioned before, openly executed a man on Confederate channels for asking why Confederates could not visit their homeland, and he is xenophobic and full of himself. He will bring his Legion to ruin-- and I fear, before that, he will drag you in with him. I have no especially strong misgivings about Yari, save that they do not seem to have free will. They are an extension of the Legatus, a lap dog, a slave. You can look at me and tell me I act the same with mister Murasame, but I assure you I do not do anything I do not personally agree with." A pause. "If I had to choose? I do not know. That is not a choice I wish to have to make. I suppose my instinct would be to stick with mister Murasame. But fortunately, he is an intelligent man. The Confederacy is not a force you betray and live to tell the tale."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     "Mm... Yeah, makes sense. There was that one dragon that didn't try to kill me, I think. Well... Not on purpose." Although Sanary still looks unsure of that even as she says it, at least she's open to idea of not all dragon being awful. "And Summer was fun to hang out with, so.. Yeah, I get you."

    Looking satisfied with herself, she suddenly seems both conflicted and pleased at the ego-stroking. "I am? Hm. Does help with the medical work, but I that sounds like it'd be harder to be more... Ass-kicking. Like you or just about everyone else." She crosses her arms over her chest and stares at the ceiling, furrowing her brow yet again.

     "... You think I'd really be able to handle it? Not Vega's Psycho thing, but something else a little less terrible sounding." She glances around briefly, then leans in and lowers her voice considerably just in case. "Like something else that might need another testbed?"

     Listening to Audrey as she continues, there's a fair amount of skepticism in the healer's expression. "Mm.. Lute's not that bad once you get to know him past all of that. Still gotta have him and Souji hang out some time, actually. Gaius... Didn't know about that happening before. Doesn't really sound like him, but... I'll try."

     She actually seems satisfied at the comments on Yari, inwardly cheering a little before listening further.

     "Yeah, that's definitely not something I'd want to end up in, either. He's got ties to the Syndicate, too, yeah? That... Hn. I'd have to figure it out if it ever actually happens."

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    "Our public cover utilizes the Syndicate. The Zaibatsu is a mercenary, private military group and weapons manufacturer. We have plausible deniability to get involved in anything, and it is fairly nice that way," Audrey answers, without stating the fact it also means they aren't beholden to Confederate operations they don't like, where others might be.

    "As for the Psycho Power, I do not see why not. When I say you are strong-willed and kind, I don't mean you're selectively so. Corruption is corruption, whatever power it rides in on. Whatever label it takes. In fact, all power corrupts, no exceptions. Some are simply more overt and supernaturally so than others. For example, White Magic. It may not seem like it would corrupt or endanger someone-- but having the power to preserve life at your fingertips is a heavy one. You cannot go crazy and eradicate all illness, all death. It would have catastrophic results. Population booms. Unemployment. The balance of life and death thrown in chaos. That temptation is one all White Mages must deal with. It is but one of a thousand forms corruption takes."

    Audrey shrugs, not knowing the specifics of Psycho Power and thus, not being able to comment. "Well, now you know my reasoning. And please, do not let your lack of ability to 'kick ass' bother you so much. We all have roles on the battlefield. Some kick ass. Some make sure the people kicking ass don't die. But if you're interested in changing role, we can always see about shifting the tone of your training little by little, until you find the power you seek and truly want."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     "That... Does sound really nice. Explains how we've got all these perks and the pay." Sanary laughs easily, a knwoing nod given to Audrey in an attempt to miic her subtlety in not saying things that don't need to be said. Mild improvement!

     Once the Heritor starts speaking about the nature of corruption and the risk of corruption involving White Magic and healing, however, she starts looking a little more troubled again. "I never even thought about it like that before. So if I'm working here and in the Citadel, does that mean I... Shouldn't do so much of it? To preserve balance? Or should I be doing more since there's a war going on? And if that really is a big deal, then maybe..."

     Time to take a breathing. Sanary's having a bit of trouble focusing after that, and she hunches over with her arms still crossed before letting out a loud whooping noise. A little too loud, perhaps, but she does look slightly better than she did during that brief freakout.

     "... Okay. So. I guess what I really need to figure out is what I wanna do. Healing's good, and everyone I've been fighting that isn't slow or huge has usually been too fast to hit without getting hit myself. So maybe... Getting better at taking hits?" The grin returns. "I can take the hits and fix 'em while you and everyone else does the real work."

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    "Nothing so drastic. To upset the balance of a world the actions you must take are usually absurdly large-scale. Opening a clinic and healing people isn't disruptive in the slightest, but working on a spell that can completely counteract sickness and death over a large area, that starts getting dangerous. I have heard of some people, some worlds, there death was completely removed. Immortality, for everyone. Unsurprisingly, this immortality comes at a price-- and new problems arise. New ways to die. New ways to cease to be. The world enjoys its balance. For life to exist, so must death. If someone found a way to kill death, they would surely kill life with it."

    Another shrug. This philosophical talk is way outside her area of expertise. "But what do I know. I punch and stab people, I don't worry about the philosophical implications of healing. Still, you understand what I mean, yes? That temptation and corruption takes many forms?"

    Finishing up the bandage wrapping, Audrey pours magic into her hands, and into the Cure spells contained in the bandages. They'll do their job over the next hour, no big. It's slower than just using Chakra but a BIT more efficient and less distracting.

    "If you want to learn to take hits, I can teach you to defend yourself. Monks excel at it. I doubt I can teach you to do it on the same level as I can, but every little bit helps. I can at least teach you to guard and take a fall. We can see about reinforcing your clothes, too. My uniform is a mesh of mithril; extremely light, extremely strong. Something similar can be arranged to start."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
     Breathing a relieved sigh at the reassurance, Sanary looks as if that massive pressure has been lifted off her as quickly as it came. "That... Yeah, I don't see myself going /that/ far with it. Even if I could. And even then, only for some people."

     She grins slightly at Audrey's admission, nodding shortly after it and patting the gunaxe on her hip. "I like it simple, too. Just point me at something to break or someone to fix, and I'll do it. Makes it easier for us to avoid corruption, though, right?"

     Watching her superior work on the wound, Sanary still looks just a touch worried about her hand's condition despite resiting the urge to just dump more magic into it. "You... Uh. You didn't really have to stop that with your hand, though. You sure that'll be okay?"

     She relaxes shortly afterwards, grinning again at the offer and nodding. "Sounds good to me. Could even practice taking real hard falls or fighting with injuries if you wanted to since I can just fix us up when it gets too distracting.

Audrey Stormfist (652) has posed:
    "I underestimated your swing a bit. Really, don't worry about it. I'm used to stopping and catching blades with my hand. I just forgot that you've got quite the muscles, and that was my gunblade besides, not a random sword. I'd offer to teach you, but without a Monk's ability to Brace, it's a lot more dangerous than just dodging." She'll be fine in a bit, really. No fuss.

    "Simple is fine. But simple isn't an escape from corruption. It just means it takes different forms. Which lives to save, which not to. What jobs to take, which to ignore. Who to spare. What price you're willing to pay for a greater ability to stab people. Cursed weapons, weapons guarded by ferocious beasts. Confidence. Underestimating your swing is a form of corruption. To be overconfident can kill you, and it can turn you into a different person."

    Audrey stretches-- finally sheathing the gunblade, which she'd kind of forgotten about until now. "Tell you what, if you feel that bad about it, why don't we go eat a bite, you pay? We'll call it even."

Sanary Rondel has posed:
    "Okay, okay, I'll... Try not to worry too mcuh." Sanary sighs lightly, although more in the worried-yet-relaxed sort of way than anything else. "Definitely need to try learning that sooner or later, though."

     Taking a deep breath again, Sanary rubs the back of her neck while considering Audrey's words. "Mm... Hn. So even that's not going to help us avoid it, then. Crap. Well... Guess the best we can do is hope we don't have too many hard choices, then. After seeing and fighting so much here, though? I probably need /more/ confidence than anything else."

     She laughs once more and squats briefly, then hops back up onto her feet with a revitalized look in her eye. "Food sounds good! We can get some of those cheesey nachos, dessert..."