395/Hog Heaven

Hog Heaven
Date of Scene:	11 August 2014
Location:	Dun Realtai
Synopsis:	Sir Mordred leaves a gift for the Round Table residents of Dun Realtai in the form of a very large, cleaned boar all ready for cooking. Except it's the size of a house, and the Round Table Knights haven't ruled out poison...
Cast of Characters:	134, 482, 536

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Sir Bedivere (482) has posed:
Welcome to another miserably cold day in Dun Realtai, the keep so recently taken over by several knightly sorts of the Union. The lord's chamber of the castle, as well as the inn in the village, have been rebuilt. There are places for guests to stay in the form of servants' quarters in the castle.

It's a sunny day, if cold, and a light breeze gusts over the hill every so often. There's not a hint of storms on the horizon. In all, progress has been moving along nicely.

And then somebody, like a certain traitor, left a giant house-sized boar corpse, cleaned and all ready to cook, in the courtyard. (In all fairness, the thing wouldn't fit inside any of the reconstructed buildings.)

Sir Bedivere is standing in the castle's innermost courtyard in his plate armour and his mantled cloak, arms folded, staring at the boar as though he has absolutely /no idea/ what to make of this development.

Sakura Haruno (134) has posed:
    Sakura has a great many positive qualities. Ability to dress for the weather appropriate to where she is going is not one of them. As such, she's simply thrown on a lab coat over her normal clothing, and it's not nearly good enough, or warm enough, to make her very happy out here. On the other hand, she should have known that from being here before, so sympathy might be in short supply.

    In spite of the radio chatter, however, Flowers hadn't been nearly prepared for the sheer size of the thing, and she will stop short as she reaches the area. "I.. what." She says, blinking a few times as she takes in the scope of what she's offered to do. Checking something THAT size for poison might take her a minute or two, and she'll start to mentally psyche herself up without even immediately noticing Sir Bedivere standing there in a somewhat similar state.

    At least it's a distraction from the cold.

Jeanne d'Arc (536) has posed:
     There's another battle standard in-residence at Dun Realtai, but this one is... not Sabers, nor is it anyone who is an /offical/ Knight of the Round Table. However, unoffically and honorary, Jeanne d'Arc has her spot at the table, most likely thefting a seat belong to a certain Knight that is the cause of what in the world is going down.

     Jeanne comes up the boulevard, and stops mid-step, and just... /gawks/.

Sir Bedivere (482) has posed:
Sir Bedivere may have made modifications to his armour, stitching in fur lining and adding a reinforced layer to his mantled cloak with fur trim, but it's still cold. Dun Realtai is still a cold place, though perhaps it remains to be seen what its weather is /actually/ like -- it had been tampered with by a mortal wizard, after all. It may not be another year before its weather patterns return to some sembalnce of normal.

For now it happens to be on the 'unseasonable winter' setting, though the snow is slowly melting -- at least until it will inevitably come back for the natural winter.

Bedivere folds his arms as he regards the boar dubiously, and his reaction is about the same as the labcoat-clad ninja. He just doesn't know what to make of a creature so huge.

"Thank you for coming," he says simply, bowing to Sakura with a hint of stiffness. The way he clutches his right side suggests something troubles him there; his movements not quite as graceful as they could be. "I... do not trust Sir Mordred's motives."

Sakura Haruno (134) has posed:
    "Of course." Sakura says, before giving Bedivere a suspicious glance. He's not sneaking something like that past her, but she had come out here for something else, after all. And she needed to get to it if she was going to!

    "...How are you even going to cook this thing? Perhaps he's intending to infest you with tapeworms from eating undercooked pork." Sakura muses, pulling gloves out of her pockets and getting them on. She'll take a step or two towards the thing, and she's basically going to have to climb it to start her examination, seeming utterly unconcerned about the fact that this is rather gross.

    "How long has it been here now? Though the cold will preserve it some." Sakura says, seeming to consider, sniffing at it closely.

Jeanne d'Arc (536) has posed:
     "It's impressive." Jeanne says, staring at the boar - and Sakura.

     "Hello." She greets the other woman politely.

     "Sir Bedivere, I believe I can manage cooking it, if it is okay to be eaten, with assistance."

Sir Bedivere (482) has posed:
To the suspicious glance, the marhsal's expression remains one of stone-faced neturality. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him and he is the perfect picture of health. Ignore the shadows under his eyes, the hollows of his cheekbones, or the way he clutches his side.

"That is for Lady Sakura to decide," Bedivere says, in response to Jeanne. "If it is, I should like to distribute it to the villagers. They have endured much hardship, and worked hard."

Jeanne d'Arc (536) has posed:
     "That is what I had meant." Jeanne says, quietly. "We can move most of it down for the villagers, smoke yet more for the upcoming winter season..." She nudges a bit of snow with her boot with a wry look on her face, "And then have enough for ourselves."

Sakura Haruno (134) has posed:
    "Don't think I'm fooled for one second, Sir Bedivere." Comes Sakura's voice as she starts to check the boar's tongue and mouth. It's more than slightly creepy, given that her voice is echoing back from out of the boar.

    "I'll be examining you before I leave, as well. I think that's a guest right, too, mm? And pleased to meet you, miss. Sorry I didn't have time to properly introduce myself. Introduce me, Sir Bedivere?" Sakura asks him, being too distracted with a curiousity and work to worry about the more friendly social niceities.

Sir Bedivere (482) has posed:
Those faded violet eyes slide over to the carcass of the boar, where the mednin busily digs around in the innards while working her magic. Oh, he definitely heard that statement of hers, but he simply pretends to ignore it.

She might hear him say something along the lines of, 'Ugh.'

Busted.

To Jeanne, he glances back over, regarding her with a slightly owlish blink. "Ah. Yes. It will have to be moved in parts, I think, for it will need to be divided to cook it and preserve it as well." He folds his arms, rubbing at his jaw with one hand. "Mm. Smoked, salted... salt is not the rare and precious commodity it once was. Why, it is even available in bulk." He looks slightly bewildered by this. "Imagine if such had been available in Camelot's day. None would have gone hungry through the winter..."

Jeanne d'Arc (536) has posed:
     "Yes, this will help." Jeanne says.

     Then, since Bedivere didn't: "I am Jeanne d'Arc, Saber of Black, Servant of Shizune Nakamura." It is a pleasure to meet you, one who has come to assist Sir Bedivere in helping out his keep and the people within it."

Sakura Haruno (134) has posed:
    Sakura will poke, and prod, and work a bit longer, hmming at that introduction. "Oh, how is Shizune? I have not worked with her recently, but we've worked together more than once. Sakura Haruno, or Flowers if you'd rather." She introduces herself, pulling back out and standing up straight. "Well. I have good news and bad news, Sir Bedivere."
    After a moment's pause. "The good news is that this isn't poisoned. The bad news is that you are now obliged to figure out some way of safely cooking it. Please ensure that it is cooked very, very thoroughly."

Sir Bedivere (482) has posed:
"Ah, my apologies. I became caught up in the details," Bedviere states, with some chagrin. He had been asked to introduce Jeanne, and instead he was thinking about how best to distribute the boar meat to the villagers most in need of it. "She is indeed the Saber of Black, Lady Jeanne d'Arc, and a living saint."

He shifts his weight, eyeing the boar somewhat dubiously. That is one hell of a huge carcass, and even he has his doubts that it can be efficiently carved up. Some of that meat is bound to spoil no matter how quickly it's prepared and preserved. Pity there are no kennels or hounds to toss some of it to; and the ice-hound in his care seems uninterested in food. He begs for attention, rather than table scraps.

The knight folds his arms, lips thinning as he considers this. "Very well. It shall be done," he states, though he looks a little dubious. "Much of it will need to be preserved... would you like to take some with you, Lady Sakura, as thanks? It is the least I can offer, and there is, as you can see, much and more for the taking..."

Jeanne d'Arc (536) has posed:
     "Master is doing well, I think. She has been teaching me much." When Sakura declares the boar good to go -- there is clapping noise as Jeanne pushes her hands together, rubbing them around her gauntlets. "Excellent!" Jeanne declares herself.

     Jeanne goes off to terrorize the kitchens and get assistance. The fifthteenth century saint is about to cook.

Sakura Haruno (134) has posed:
    Sakura pauses for a moment. "I don't particularly cook, but there are people who might want some of it whom I reside with." She'll murmur into her implanted radio for a while, then explain. "Psyber's simply summoning our demonic chef to see if we need the ingrediants."

    Sakura is both hazy on what exactly Hastur is and possibly not the most diplomatic for this.

    "Okay. I'll take some of it back, as you heard... But not too much. I don't want to make a mess or anything."

Sir Bedivere (482) has posed:
Bedivere adopts an expression of concern, glancing from the boar to Sakura and back to the boar again. His eyes finally flick back to Sakura. He then proceeds to take a step back from her. Demonic?

He glances over as Jeanne heads off to terrorise the kitchens, but perhaps now is a good time to tell her...

"Milady Jeanne! The castle's kitchens have not yet been rebuilt..." Oh dear. Well, maybe the villagers will have something they can jury-rig together in the inn. He watches her trot off, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture of undisguised awkwardness.

He wishes, briefly, that Arturia were here. She's busy helping out in the village itself (but not before ordering him onto paperwork duty, at least until this was dropped in his lap).

"Take what you will," he says simply, shrugging; armour clanking quietly as he does. "There is plenty for the village folk and much of this will need to be preserved. It is hardly a concern. If you require assistance transporting it, I will see if a horse and cart can be spared from the reconstruction efforts to deliver what you choose to take."

Jeanne d'Arc (536) has posed:
     Jeanne stops, then turns around. "I'm not exactly headed for there! This much meat, you don't want to be using one kitchen! You want a lot of open hearths and fires going! The more we have made, even if it's just the standard stick over a fire pit, the more we can cook, and salt, and save!" She points out.

     Yes, Jeanne is terrified of fire - and it shows in her face as she outlines her plans - but she goes anyways.