7573/Hate at First Sight

Hate at First Sight
Date of Scene:	09 July 2021
Location:	Shrine of Adversity
Synopsis:	Sarracenia tries to help, Izou insults her, they beat each other up then go to dinner.
Cast of Characters:	Sarracenia, 7383

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Sarracenia has posed:
     After sending Okada instructions on how to reach the arena, Princess Sarracenia made her way here with haste. Now she waits in the middle of an open grassy field generated by the Shrine's holographic powers swinging her hammer about in warm-up maneuvers. She hardly looks like a combatant in her long and fancy red dress and her crown, but with her height and hammer it at least makes it obvious that she is Okada's opponent. And judging by her expression she is not a happy princess.

Okada Izou (7383) has posed:
     If Sarracenia was expecting a fair fight, well...

     Well, that went out the window pretty much the instant she got into a fight with Okada Izou.

     Izou does not play fair. Izou has never played fair. Izou is not a swordsman in the sense of all the others in the Multiverse. He does not walk up and challenge people to honor duels. He does not walk onto the battlefield for all and sundry to see. There is no samurai movie with Okada Izou, no blowing hair in the moonlight, no walking through the reeds with a glistening crescent sword. There's no walking up and delivering a challenge letter. There's no arrow with fancy paper wrapped around it.

     Okada Izou is a manslayer.

     Okada Izou is a man who slays other men.

     So it is that the only hint that Sarracenia gets of Izou's presence directly behind her is the sword drawn, flashing for her back.

     Literally in the middle of the attack.

     "Y'know, now that I've had a good look at you, you're a lot hotter'n I thought you'd be. Maybe it's a good thing we're in this playpen. Be a shame to kill such a pretty face."

Sarracenia has posed:
     Sarracenia is hardly a hardened, well trained combatant. She doesn't even realize Okada has arrived until a sudden pain in her back causes her to stumble forward with a startled yelp. A slash appears in her dress and a red mark appears on the flesh beneath.

     Reacting purely on instinct she swings her hammer - which is easily as tall as herself with a head that is possibly even heavier than herself - in a wide spin to try and catch whoever just hit her. "I thought you said you aren't an assassin?! Only those honorless shadow sneaks attack someone from behind without even declaring themse-...wait, did you say I am hot?" For some reason this gives her pause and she just stares at Okada for a moment before huffing. "N-not that it matters! A rude and hotheaded heathen like yourself would never be good enough for me!" she adds.

Okada Izou (7383) has posed:
     Now that she gets a clear look at Izou, he's...well, he's shaggy. He doesn't really look like an Assassin, that's for sure. Assassins should be decked out in black or white, guys with hidden weapons, seductive beauties hiding poison behind numerous veils, people in cloaks and face-masks. By contrast, Izou is...well, he's not.

     He's basically wearing a hakama.

     His face is completely unconcealed, aside from an orange scarf, which is definitely not for hiding his face so much as a thing he probably wears out of habit. His eyes are a bright yellow, almost buried beneath a mane of scruffy black hair.

     "Yeah I said you were hot! Really hot! Like crazy hot! Why, you wanna fight abou-"

     Pause.

     The pause is enough time for her to just *nail* him with her hammer. He goes spinning, landing amidst the grass flat on his back.

     He sits up. There's a big bruise across his face.

     He points at the hammer. "What the hell?! How does a chick like you wave somethin' like that around?! Shit! That's crazy! That's cra-"

     Beat.

     Oh, right, they're fighting.

     Izou hops to his feet. "I'm a Manslayer!" He points at himself. "Man!"

     Point. "Slay!"

     "Er!"

     "I kill people! I kill targets! And then I kill their bodyguards an' shit! That's why I ain't an Assassin! I didn't mean I don't stab people in the back! Shit, that's how you *win* fights!"

     He rubs his face irritably. "Shit...fightin' pretty girls ain't exactly my cup a' tea..."

     "Still, I guess I picked it, an' it'd be rude of me not to-"

     Pause.

     "HEY! I AIN'T RUDE!"

     Pause.

     He tugs up his scarf to hide his blush. "Okay, well, maybe I'm a little rude. But that's, y'know, I'm earthy! Better an honest guy than some stuck-up liar, right?! I'm still a samurai, y'know! Just 'cause I'm rude don't mean I ain't nobility!"

     Another long pause as he scratches the back of his head. "Although...honestly...that stuff..."

     "Ah, fuck it."

     And then he's gone.

     This time it's not invisibility. It's pure speed. It's speed that flattens the grass behind him. It's speed that flattens the earth, that shapes a crater from his launch point. It's speed that takes him directly past her, skidding to a halt on the other side.

     He tilts his head to the side and shoulders his blade with a grin.

     And then the sword strike catches up to him, just cleaving straight through the air as if the sword forgot it was supposed to kill for a second.

Sarracenia has posed:
     Sarracenia turns more red with each instance of hot that Izou uses until she is almost rosey red by the time she actually hits him. As he points at her hammer she smirks and shoulders it. "Perhaps I am simply that strong~" she says with a haughty air. She sees no reason to tell him the real reason she can swing such an absurd hammer.

     She looks dubious as he explains about the supposed difference between himself and an assassin, and she mmphs and looks off to the side in an angry shy manner as he says she is pretty.

     And she huffs when he says he's a samurai. "Nobility by birth is not what I seek. I seek a true hero to sweep me off my feet like that prissy princess Peach. If a job as lowly as plumber was good enough for her, then such lower classes are good enough for me as well!"

     She blinks as he says those last things, then again when...he disappears and leaves a crater in his wake "What in-..?!" She starts to look around, but the hit catches her and with a cry she goes tumbling through the grass and lands on her back. It is only due to the Shrine that she wasn't dealt a mortal blow there!

     The princess groans as she gets back up. "Wh-whatever you are, I do not abide losing to someone like you. You may have nobility of birth, but you lack nobility of heart! And you kill people for pay!"

     She holds her hammer in a ready stance, then...it starts to glow and dazzling sparkles start to fall from it. The glow flows over the princess, causing her hair to start floating as if underwater. "And since you seem keen on ending this quickly, let me see if I can accomidate you!" she says.

     Then, for the next 30 seconds or so, she becomes a hammering machine! She moves forward quickly, slamming that hammer up and down with rapid and almost robotic tempo. Each down swing smashes a small crater in the ground...and the princess proceeds to try pounding Izou into the ground like a giant fence post!

Okada Izou (7383) has posed:
     Izou points at himself. "I'm literally a guy the whole universe said, 'that guy, he's a real hero!' I'm so hero I got *brought back to life*! I got a pedigree and everything!"

     Izou don't say pedigree.

     It's not a good word for you.

     "How much more *hero* do you want? I got a straight up pat on the back from the world! 'Hey, that guy fought in a revolution for democracy, he's a hero! Bring that guy back from the dead, he's awesome!' Not my fault the only thing I'm good at is killin' people! An' a guy's gotta eat, y'know!"

     Izou turns as she's standing up. He tilts his head to the side.

     "-wow, that's a great ass."

     He scratches his cheek. "Look, I, uh-"

     She starts glowing.

     "-wait, what the-"

     "HOLY SHIT!"

     Izou immediately starts running. "HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS-"

     WHAM

     WHAM

     WHAM

     Izou finds himself face-down, ass-up, hakama flowing all over himself, face just directly planted in the grass. He pushes himself up, coughs, wipes his mouth, coughs again, then stands up and growls. "Fine!"

     "You want a hero to *sweep you off your feet?*"

     Oh that choice of words might be coming back to bite her in a second.

     Izou disappears. It's not speed this time. He's literally invisible, inaudible. He's straight up vanished. Even the grass isn't any help - it doesn't seem like he's putting his feet down, like he's putting his feet anywhere. Normally someone invisible would have a tell, but Izou doesn't seem to. Is this really what an Assassin is like?

     And then-

     And then a sheath comes out of nowhere for her leg as lightning speed. If they weren't in the shrine it'd be a shot meant to break her legs. His knowledge of killing people is...absurd.

     It is meant to knock her back into his arm.

     His other arm spins up the katana in front of her. There's a wild grin on his face.

     "You're fuckin' crazy."

     "I like it."

     "Let's go out for dinner, Princess."

     And then he just moves to *ram* the sword into her throat.

Sarracenia has posed:
     Sarracenia really isn't sure hot to feel about these flattering yet rather barbarian compliments. It makes her blush again, but she looks more annoyed than flattered. "So, you are one of those heroic spirits? I have heard that hero in that instance is more in the old-world sense of 'had a great impact on the world' rather than 'did good and saved people'. At least, that is what Gilgamesh said."

     The princess hmphs arrogantly as Izou talks about sweeping her off her feet, but when he disappears it leaves her once again. She takes a few steps back as if it might help her somehow and keeps her hammer held up...

     ...and ends up tripped and in the scruffy man's arms with a sword held at her throat. She winces and cries out from the bone-shattering hit. But it isn't the sword that gets the biggest reaction. It is the request for a date. "Wh-what?! Y-you are asking that now?! And I am not crazy! Just because a princess isn't all demure and soft-spoken does not mean she is cr-"

     And then there's a sword through her throat. Even in here that gets a weird sort of gurgled yelp and the princess looks like she might pass out.

     But she doesn't. She pulls free, clutching at her throat and staggering back. "If we are playing that seriously, allow me to show you one of my favorite toys~" she says in an oddly sensual tone that is both filled with violent intent and...somewhat raspy thanks to the injury.

     She reaches into her satchel and pulls out a small box with a red button on it. She sets it down and hits the button, and the box unfolds...and unfolds...and unfolds until it is a cannon big enough for a person to stand up in.

     The princess is now atop its barrel and grinning with a rather smug and somewhat sadistic expression. "May I introduce you to...the Bonzai Bill!"

     She stomps on the top of the cannon and with a thunderous boom it fires! A bullet as big as a car comes flying out, aiming its shark-like face at Izou. It tries to catch him, but really it doesn't need to. When it gets close enough to him it just...explodes. A series of rapid explosions, each bigger than the last, seeking to engulf him until finally with a momentary pause an explosion large enough to leave a mushroom cloud. And as the boom dies down Sarracenia can be heard laughing in maniacal glee!

Okada Izou (7383) has posed:
     "Yeah I'm a Heroic Spirit! Didn't you hear me? True Name, Okada Izou! Class, *Manslayer!* No matter what that asshole blacksmith says!"

     There is a stab.

     A moment later, he snaps his katana off to the side, the blood splattering on the ground in that really cool samurai way. It's the most Samurai Movie Izou has ever been. "Obviously I'm askin' you now, I just swept you off your feet! When else would I ask you?! You literally told me you wanted a hero to sweep you off your feet!"

     He crosses his arms as she drops. "You told me nobody dies here! What am I supposed to do, *not* fight the way I fight? It's not like it was gonna kill you! I mean, if we were outside, it would, but it's not even gonna leave a scar, right?"

     A beat.

     "...that's what you guys said, right? 'cause if it leaves a scar I kinda feel bad about that." He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "Like...it's probably a good thing this is just play-fightin', I guess..."

     Then she just drops a full fucking cannon in front of him. Right in front of him. There's a moment where he holds up a finger thoughtfully, like he's about to say something clever, and then-

     "-crazy in a really hot way."

     Very clever, Izou.

     At least he sounds honest about it.

     And then she just kinda shoots him directly in the face with a flying explosive shark. He disappears in the literal mushroom cloud.

     Like actually disappears, not like turns invisible.

     When he hits the ground again he's still smouldering. There's a cough of smoke and unhappiness, like a dog that just got kicked, a low whine of a cough that takes him a minute to settle out of. When he does, he sits straight up.

     He works his fingers. "Huh."

     "Y'know, last time I died it was a *lot* less fire and a *lot* more...ah, never mind."

     Izou stands up, brushing himself off, and looks up at her. "So..."

     Beat.

     He jerks a thumb over his shoulder as he coughs out some more smoke. "Dinner?"

Sarracenia has posed:
     Sarracenia's laugh finally trails off, but she is still grinning as the fire clears and Izou falls back from outer space. "Well, last time you did not have the honor of being killed by the one and only Princess Sarracenia, Crown Princess of the Sundew Kingdom~" she says proudly.

     And despite all of that, Izou still asks her about dinner again. Sarracenia just stares at him a little bit and starts just just outright reject him. But then...she just sighs in a resigned way. "...okay."

     He did listen to her, he did try to do what she said, and he does seem to like her. And she really doesn't know. He could be an actual hero instead of just a heroic spirit. So, in proper desperate girl fashion she accepts the date with the crazy murderous man.

Okada Izou (7383) has posed:
     'OK.'

     Izou tugs at his scarf, pulling it up over his face slightly. Is...is he blushing?

     For a guy who's apparently super famous for killing lots of people (but apparently not a serial killer, so he's got that going for him), he's kind of a huge dork. In fact now that he's not violently stabbing her he kinda resembles nothing so much as a huge scruffy puppy.