322/NODE: Kingdom of Words - The Court

NODE: Kingdom of Words - The Court
Date of Scene:	31 July 2014
Location:	The Homeworld
Synopsis:	Laer brings Vruasa, Fiora, Serori and Homura to settle a dispute between two elven kings.
Cast of Characters:	2, 37, Vruasa Telash, Fiora O'Brien, 347, 353
Tinyplot:	When They Return

---

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    When Laer opens the gate - and she's the only one who can, after all - the group will see something rather surreal. It's not a hallway. It's a blank void. But there's something all throughout it. White, softly glowing words arranged in rigid lines and grids. Below one's feet, the word "floor", to each side, the word "wall", above, the word "ceiling"; as each feature of the environment is examined, adjectives coalesce around them, bringing clarity and true shape to the world.

    Further along, these words seem to be resolving into actual shapes; simple, fuzzy outlines at first, before they become a proper castle-like interior, like a dungeon hallway, dark, but thankfully clean. The words are still visible, but only if you look very, very closely...

    There's about a minute's walk to the end of the hallway. A large, thick wooden castle door - if one looks closely, the phrase "large, thick wooden castle door" can be seen amid its form - terminates it.

    Heading out through the door is easy and simple; just open it! Even the action of opening seems to prompt a lightly visible verb, just there if you're focusing on it, to drift along, attached to the door. It needs to be focused on to be seen, though, like all other elements of the world beyond it.

    It's lightly familiar, what's present past this threshold. It's a rather standard fantasy setting, after all, and Laer's seen it in a vision a month or so ago. A simple countryside, with a castle set into one of the large hills, surrounded by a bustling town, villages visible in the distance, and a massive crystal mountain obvious, over which the sun slowly peeks as it rises here.

    The group have emerged from a door set into the side of the castle itself, rather than into the main castle; the town itself is clearly inhabited by all manner of fantasy race, including but certainly not limited to elves, humans, an assortment of dwarven-looking people, and more goblinesque types, all of which seem quite at peace with each other as they're going about their medieval-level business. Except for a lot of palpable tension between certain groups of elves, who seem so tense with each other that they seem only barely avoiding a riot. That's new. The area is lightly lit by a combination of the rising sun and various magical lights that indicate sorcerous presence here as well.

    Not a lot of coherence to it, besides fantasy elements, but it sure is a location!

Laer (353) has posed:
    Laer had been rather open about a desire to get back to exploring her own node at some point, mostly because it was self-evidently super awesome. Especially what with the useful descriptions of everything. Just think of them as mouseover text for the blind.

    She'll lead the way in, having invited along anyone who might care to come with her usual breezy self; Nyarie, her abstractum, is also present and is tucked in behind her ear for the moment. Regardless of who may or may not be coming, Laer is certainly not shy about being herself, and given that the tension is new, that's going to be the thing she immediately siezes upon. Of course, given that she IS an elf, there's a good chance she won't be the right sort of elf to get along with the closest ones, who she'll go to harrass.

    "Hey, hey, what's with all the gloomy faces? This place is supposed to be happy, you know!" That's not actually true; from the prior visit, this place was mostly just 'confused', but it's not the Kingdom of Truths so it'll probably be okay.

Serori (37) has posed:
    Little patience existed in Serori for the Abstractum dilemma -- it's an awfully complicated situation, after all, and 'They' comprise a distressingly nebulous entity, something not at all able to be punched (yet). She also seems to hold a dislike for any scenario which requires long-term cooperation between the Union and her beloved Confederacy. So, why set all her discomfort aside today? Why follow along into Laer's Node, which seems to require a horrible amount of reading?

    /Laer/, obviously. Serori's love/hate connection to the Bard is important enough that she's cast aside all of her /terrible discomfort/ and stepped into a land of...whatever all this is. What a self-sacrificing person Serori can be!

    Serori kind of lurks around in the background for now, scowling at the nearest words describing a 'hewn stone wall' or whatever. Laer's approach of the grumpy geese is watched over, and Serori only partly hopes hostilities will break out.

Homura Akemi (2) has posed:
    Laer is one of the few Confederates Homura vaguely gets along with. Admittedly that's more true when she isn't trying to shoot at Ariel, but she did get what was coming for it, so there's no use holding a strong grudge. Them's the breaks with the war.

    That's why she has no particular qualms against coming to her Node-- whether invited or just tagging along, the specifics of which we're leaving out.

    Not knowing what to expect, she's come dressed casually-- or what passes for her casual lately, the black pants and white dress shirt, without a vest or tie or anything. She's got her glasses on, and obviously her Abstractum is on her right middle finger in its ring form (pretty much Claire's only form to date). Her hair is in a side-tail.

    "This place's name sure is literal though." Pun completely unintended. Just a completely true thing to pointlessly note.

    She opts-- for now-- to see what Laer does.
    And size Serori up because that's the first time she meets her. Kind of odd, come to think of it, but then she was never wholly into the cross-factional disagreements.

Vruasa Telash has posed:
    As was the case the last time he came here, VRUASA TELASH is mostly deferring to Laer as to what to do around here. He hovers along lazily behind her, about a foot off the ground, currently adopting something of a lying down position. Like somebody who is floating on their back in the middle of a pool, or seated on a poolside lounge chair. On a related note, he happens to be dressed for a beach or something, because he's currently just wearing some dark grey shorts and a hawaiian shirt.

    To say that he looks profoundly out of place is an understatement. He looks like Merlin walking out of future Bermuda into the dark ages of Britain.

    "I don't remember what we're doing here. What're we doing here?" He asks Laer, wholly expecting to get a self-serving and possibly dishonest answer, and not even slightly giving a damn. Like it or not, Vruasa owes rather a lot to Laer, so he's inclined to be helpful to her until he thinks doing so would vastly outweigh that debt.

Fiora O'Brien has posed:
    The last time Fiora had come to this world, a while ago, she dimly remembered that it was filled with tropes, interesting people, and quests. It was like some sort of roleplaying game! A big, fantastical one. That was real.

    Not that she was any good at that sort of thing, but it was a nice touch. She was not dressed for the beach to match Vruasa, and was instead dressed in her God Tiers, because unlike Vruasa, she could not precisely pull off 'disaffected adventurer' in a modest bikini top, sarong, and flip-flops.

    So instead it was a skirted hoodie getup thing.

    In any case, she simply gave Laer a smile and hoisted her broom over her shoulder, seeming quite happy to see what this place would throw at the group.

    "Oh, and if you want for people to step out of the picture, I'm your girl. Did it for the little robo-pony.

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    Laer will be familiar with the... Unique mechanics of this world. When she goes up to the group, she experiences a highly simplified interaction mechanism, the elves she speaks with seeming to dissolve into a rush of words for a moment.

    "By asking around with the elf factions who seemed tense with each other, Laer shortly discovered that their respective kings had recently been in conflict. According to one group, an incredibly valuable sacred artifact of their heritage was currently under threat. Blatantly false records have been forged by a rival faction that claim it has some sort of awful, negative effect."

    "The other faction claims, just as genuinely, that they have indisputable proof of the artifact's origins in the forges of their culture's satan analogue and its intended use as a means of destroying the world. They even assembled a little party of adventurers to go throw it back into the forge and get rid of it and everything."

    The words resolve back into the crowd as Laer seems to conclude the highly compressed info-gathering method.

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    Vruasa gets a quick summary. Ulixes does its best to try to help out. "Right, so, quick summary. Whole place is based on words and stories. Lots of conflicting backstories means the involved 'characters' have a lot of conflict. The contradictions in reality need to get solved so that reality can go on. I think it involves beating up the author, so, y'know, something to look forward to."

    It continues speaking in its quick and informative tones. "Oh, and I recorded the briefing Speaks gave us last time. Here's that, in case it jogs the memory."

    "'The Kingdom of Words does not know how long it has existed; the backstories of its denizens conflict. Immortals claim contradicting points of origin for it, individual lineage cannot gain coherence, ruins old and new bear blatantly false information. The truth of the matter is that none of them are correct. The Kingdom of Words was created only a month and a half ago, by a storytelling Orator whose flawed creation demands correction and the light touch of fictionalizing improvement.'"

Laer (353) has posed:
    Laer had actually forgotten how much simpler interacting here was! Though it rather crimps her own style. She'll gesture over towards Serori, wanting to draw the retired General into the story. "Well, here you go, then. Why don't you help me figure out which side is telling the truth?"

    She presumably knows that that may be a task Serori's spectacularly unsuited towards; she's mostly wanting to buy a minute or two to figure out a way to split the difference and also to make certain everyone else is settling in.

    She'll shrug at Vruasa. "I think we're just supposed to try and draw a coherient narrative out of this thing. I'm considering it early practice for the book on this mission. Maybe I'll make myself chancellor to some of the kings or something?" She considers, as though she hadn't ever had that position before.

    "There's probably a beach somewhere too, if you get bored." She adds, giving another wave over to Fiora and Homura. "But I'm thinking we start here before everyone starts kung-fu fighting in the streets over being the devil or throwing each other into volcanos or whatever the present style is."

Homura Akemi (2) has posed:
    So faction A owes a super artifact and faction B wants it, claims it was made by a dark lord whose obsession may or may not be making evil super artifacts, and now it has to be destroyed. Right. Well...

    "Why don't we go meet these supposed kings and hear their stories, then? You can always dethrone them both and unify the narrative however you see fit if that's your style," Homura offers to Laer, though the idea of finding a beach is not entirely discarded. That or making herself the chancellor if opposing countries and somehow not getting caught... does seem like her style, too. Obviously she doesn't say that quite so loud as to be heard by the tense elves, that'd just upset them.

    "Though I'm not sure I'd trust leaving these folks alone right now." They do look like they're ready to start hitting each other over the story, yes.

Serori (37) has posed:
    Serori just kind of rubs the back of her head and stares at the disparate elven groups without immediate comprehension. It takes her a minute or two to analyze the words and their conflicting story before she can muster any kind of response. "Are you willing to accept outside investigation and mediation?" she asks, because as far as she knows, these guys are dead set on their brewing war. "It would be the honor of our wise Lady to help you settle your conflict in peace."

    That last offer might have included some flatness of tone.

    Serori hooks her thumb toward Laer in probably the least respectful way to indicate just who 'our wise Lady' /is/. She could stand to work on her sell, if she's going to get into theatrics.

Vruasa Telash has posed:
    "Nah. It's more fun to tag along with these kinds of things. Gives me more opportunities to try to unwind a few local tumbleweeds. Carry on." Vruasa asides to Laer, abruptly adjusting his appearance so that he is wearing his GOD TIERS. He actually looks like he belongs here now, though all the red is a bit gaudy. He doesn't really like the default color scheme of this, but meh. It's not worth the effort of trying to nail down a proper alternative just now.

    And anyway, it looks proper to the area.

    As the memories bubble back up to the surface, Vruasa finds a few that may be useful. He asks, "Weren't the Royals around here those two recurring jerkoffs with the tumbleweed timeline? I don't remember them being very helpful. They just told us to, uh..." He trails off, not remembering the exact details. Sometimes it pays to not be a lazy motherfucker skipping through life on fast-forward.

    Nyx really did not manage to drive that lesson home.

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    This time it's Serori who starts the setting messing around. The twisting literary storm that emerges from the individuals she speaks to churns around her, and anyone close enough to seem vaguely associated by narrative.

    "It'd take many days to perform all the political maneuvering needed to get both elven kings in a room together; the Forty Kings are constantly expecting an assassination, mostly because each of them seems to remember several of the others trying to kill them in the past, though never with any consistency."

    "However, eventually, the Colonel and the Bard would find themselves in a position to mediate the two kings and their conflicting factions of elves."

    This seems to be an actual direct teleport effect! And Homura might have gone along too. It takes them straight to some kind of court-esque chamber, where a rather tall, overbearing king with excessively long hair and casually just wearing full armor is sitting at one side of the wider chamber, while another, a thin, graying-haired wizardish-looking one, sits at the other. Between them, a table, with a lot of paper strewn about. Also between them, the Short Man and the Tall Woman, the noble-esque representitives of the court as a whole. The full staff of advisors for each king are also here, but most of them just seem exasperated and annoyed and vaguely put-upon.

    On the downside, not a lot of details to optimize. On the upside, this is probably the fastest political maneuvering the ex-General has ever been able to do.

    ELSEWHERE, BACK IN TOWN: Time is left unaffected. However, a portal of some kind has formed out of words where Serori and Laer just were, and may be entered at one's leisure to surreptitiously insert oneself into the ongoing negotiations.

Fiora O'Brien has posed:
    Fiora takes a few moments. Then she realizes her best trait here. Creating something from nothing. In a world of stories (and bullshit), her powers - or rather, Hecate's - was almost key. It was like the dumb broom was finally useful for things other than smug.

    Disappearing from general sight (she was still visible to her allies as a wispy 2spooky ghost), she joined to Laer and Serori, raised Hecate, and pointed at Laer.

    "Coincide with Serori's announced arrival of Laer... And Hype Drivers to /maximum/. Make this hype as shit." She commands.

    A bit of ringmastering never hurt anyone.

Laer (353) has posed:
    Laer isn't really paying too much attention to Serori's efforts at the moment, figuring she can't really do that much damage in a couple of moments, and continues speaking with the others. "I don't think they were the royals. More like advisors. If I remember right, there's a whole bunch of people who are pretty certain that they're kings or gods or otherwise rulers of this place." Laer says, both accurately and helpfully for a change.

    "I don't know that I want to go around dethroning people unless there's something really good in it for me." Is the reply to Homura, just before the narrative quite literally sweeps her away. On the bright side, she quickly manages a costume change into something more courtly herself; it's an evening gown in a style that most of the others will recognize as a gift she got for a question.

    Rather, it's the illusion of that because she didn't bring it and is instead in her armor, but it's the thought and fourth level spell that counts.

    She'll pause and look around the court chambers, folding her arms and looking sternly at all of the gathered important people. Mostly because she's commited now to letting Serori announce her arrival and talking before that would be silly.

Homura Akemi (2) has posed:
    Wait, what, negotiations already?
    Homura certainly would not oppose to being along, she's more taken aback by the surprise transportation and suddenly being elsewhere. She feels horribly underdressed for a meeting with some high royal elven court, now. On the other hand, she's probably a bodyguard by this narrative, and certainly nothing special.

    Great insurance against assassins.

    And there's the Short Man and Tall Woman too.
    Grumble grumble frown.

    She's certainly not going to walk forward or say anything before Serori announces Laer and then Laer starts. Might not even have cause to; nothing wrong with standing back and acting as insurance nothing goes wrong. Between her and Vruasa (if he tags along too) someone would have to be trying incredibly hard to succeed in an assassination.

Serori (37) has posed:
    Serori's squawk of surprise gives way to the kind of gentle throat-clearing one reserves for embarrassing occasions. Hey, cut her some slack -- that teleport came outta nowhere!

    After surveying the new setting, the two Mighty Kings, and their equally mighty but messy stack of paperwork, Serori slants a /look/ toward Laer and opens her mouth to speak before the Bard gets a chance.

    "May I present to Your Noble Majesties the Lady of a Thousand Wisdoms, the Seeker of Truth, the Justicar of Lands Seen and Not Seen, the Singer of Lores, and the Great Nuisance of Liars Everywhere, Her Grace /LAER AZATI/, the Most Honorable in Deed and in Word!"

    Because you might as well cut a goddamn righteous figure if you're going to be the hero of your own story, right? Serori pulls a blushy face and her tail bristles up.

    There are some titles she'd have chosen to add to that list, if circumstances were...different.

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    Hecate, Fiora's broom Abstractum, makes a noise like clearing its throat (which it doesn't have) and then seems to limber up (which it can't do). Then, when Serori speaks, Hecate provides a healthy dose of overdramatized wind, lights, and ominous crackling electrical noises and humming that makes it all seem like a really powerful display! It really helps all the advisors and the two kings actually pay attention for once. The Short Man and the Tall Woman don't seem to mind, besides liking the display.

Laer (353) has posed:
    Laer looks slightly surprised at the quality of the introduction given by Fiora and Serori, possibly having not quite anticipated such a magnificent display. Still, she won't let that throw her off, even though she hasn't quite figured out if the present story was religious or adventure or courtroom drama.

    She's just going to go with the latter.

    "Ladies and gentlemen! I have been sent here to handle a problem of foul fallacy. There is a certain artifact that is causing division between those who should be united. Yooooou know what I'm talking about." She says, wagging her finger at both kings. She'll pause here, waiting to judge their reactions...

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    "I like that part! Not even just one wisdom, a whole bunch of them!" Nyarie says, in a cheery tone, its day clearly brightened up by Serori's lengthy introduction. The Kings seem a bit off their game now, apparently having expected a more traditional adventuring party, instead of some kind of supreme adjudicator of the situation. Neither of them seem to lose confidence, though, both of them rather genuinely believing in their currently presented cases from the look of it. Laer, an extremely skilled liar, will be able to tell that these are not

    They do their best to recover fast, though, each apparently extremely urgent to speak first. The larger one looks like he's about to speak up, but the wizardy-looking one makes a quick gesture and the larger one coughs and flails briefly as if he was just punched in the throat.

    "Your Grace," The Wizard Elf King says. "The Ring of Ages is not a threat we can afford to allow to exist any longer. As an all-knowing sort yourself, you have to realize that the ring, forged in the Abyssal Furnace, is a threat to all of creation and must be disposed-- Ow!"

    The Warlord Elf King kicks the table a bit, making it skid and jab into the wizard's torso. These two seem a bit petty while they maintain their traditional tones of uptightness and superiority. "Your Grace, the Ring of Ages is a sacred artifact of my culture. It was made by one of our great heroes and never got anywhere near anything like an abyssal furnace. We use it to mark heroes who take up the role and name of those who came before. It doesn't threaten the world, it's a key you need for some local dungeons."

    "We have irrefutable proof in the abyssal ruins that it was forged there!"

    "And the dungeons in our region - and they're /not anything associated with any abyss/ - work perfectly fine with the Ring, so why would there be any diabolical involvement?!"


    The Short Man shrugs helplessly. "See?"
    The Tall Woman rolls her eyes a bit. "Very uncompromising."
    "Honestly, y'could just solve this by sayin' one's wrong."
    "Neither of them are wrong, which is the nature of this."
    "But, you know, easy solution."
    "Like editing a story."

    Nyarie says, "Ooh, I bet you could even use me for that bit. You wanna hear more about their stories, or do you wanna try editing all this to get rid of one of them? Canon conflicts are /so/ dumb."

Serori (37) has posed:
    Hey. Hey! Spending hours in Medical has given Serori reason to watch a lot of television. Besides, her species has a gift for melodrama, unless brain damage screws it up. That she can muster some bullshit about Laer's Infallible Glory shouldn't be /too/ surprising...but, then again, this /is/ a woman who knows more about smoked meat than she does most forms of literature.

    Fading back into position behind Laer, Serori adopts a rigid Tough Guy stance typical to her kind -- you know, feet braced at shoulder width, arms crossed over her chest, expression neutral but kind of bordering on the touchy.

    The quick and easy solution sounds appealing, but she has the feeling that's not the best option. Serori's eyes flick back and forth between the two Kings as they argue, and finally settle on the Short Man and Tall Woman, before she looks to Laer to see how /she/ is processing all of this.

Serori (37) has posed:
    Serori glances sideways then, kind of double-taking thanks to the sudden realization that Homura's right there, and this...well, this really /is/ the closest they've ever been to one another. She nods once in quiet greeting, but sneaks a few other more appraising glances of the girl as she stands there being all observant.

Laer (353) has posed:
    Laer will pull Nyarie out from behind her ear, murmuring. "I think I know how to make this work. There's never too many ideas or too many characters, really, and Fiora's idea isn't bad, but..."

    Laer's writing rather hurridly, and she's in her pulpiest of mood. 'It was then that the seeker of truth was able to reveal that one day the ring of ages would become tainted; until that time, when the moment was ripe, it must be used for Great Things that it was destined for. There would need to be an order, devoted to monitoring the bearer of the ring. And, at this time, in order to properly explore those local dungeons, the bearer of the ring must be one of the most noble and honored companions of the seeker, one..' And here her writing pauses for a moment, while she asks a most important question.

Vruasa Telash has posed:
    VRUASA TELASH has not been participating in this argument up until now, but as he listens to and watches it all unfold he is compelled to ask a question of the Warlords. He scratches his head, emerging out from behind Laer, where he's been resting all this time as a background character of no import. A grey-skinned hand points towards one Elven Warlord and then the other, "Why WOULDN'T you use Abyssal furnaces if they could make a Ring of Ages? And what's wrong with using the forces of the deep abyss to create something ludicrously powerful?"

    "That's the whole POINT of bullshit like that. You make something ridiculously overpowered out of questionably stable materials and then you abuse it like low-blooded lusus herders until it self-destructs in a sea of blood and violence." He protests, exaggeratedly. It's easy to tell that the Knight isn't heavily invested in his objection, and is just kind of... well, trolling these guys.

    It might be he IS curious to see what happens when this kind of idea is injected into the story, though.

Laer (353) has posed:
    '...who has known the ages and may be just a bit corrupt himself, the Hero of Ages, Vruasa. They may send assassins from time to time to test his skill, but for the moment, the ring itself must remain safe'. She may be countertrolling.

Homura Akemi (2) has posed:
    Homura has been quietly watching.
    She is not a very wordy person, so she absolutely can't do what Laer is doing; and she is not quite as bold as Vruasa, who just says what he thinks outright. She can think of a few reasons NOT to use a demonic super ring, admittedly. Call it experience.

    So instead she kind of glances back at Serori and idly nods too. SUCH PRODUCTIVITY, MUCH IS HAPPENING.
    Yes the player feels a bit bad about being a wallflower.

    "How long do you think it will take Vruasa to put the ring on to see what it does?" she asks, not necessarily anyone in particular.

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    Nyarie's word glow with intense green fire. The fabric of local reality seems to shudder and shift as Laer dictates new canon to the story, resolving a difference. What goes on in the court to resolve this seems less social and more spiritual, or perhaps cosmic.

    Words seem to gush around, churning as the medium that makes up reality is altered. Both Kings remain in the room, much to their resentment. It seems like both of them were really looking forward to the other one being removed as an Invalid King, but apparently they're just both gonna stick around.

    The Warlord Elf King seems to have some kind of objection to this, but can't actually seem to vocalize it and it sort of falls flat when he's unable to really cognize why he objects in the first place. There's a big whole elaborate procession involved in bringing out the actual ring and giving it to Vruasa, and it's far more ostentatious than any of us want to either write or read.

    The Wizard Elf King seems to still harbor some kind of residual resentment, but he's not antagonizing anyone anymore, and seems to at least begrudgingly accept that this is necessary, though he doesn't like the idea of his adventurer group going unused.

    None of the locals seem to react to, or even perceive, a strange, distant rumbling roaring-esque noise that goes on far in the distance. It stops almost as quick as it began.

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    Vruasa looked like he was about to get a whole lot of indignant reactions and contradictions and argument until right about the moment when Laer's rewriting of reality took place, at which point it all gets cut off, allowing him the last word in trolling that particular setup of reality. Perfect timing!

Vruasa Telash has posed:
    The whole ceremony is largely glossed over by VRUASA, who engages fast-forward halfway through and as a result doesn't remember any of it. He snatches the ring up in a way that can only be described as rude, and... sticks it on Ulixes's chain around his neck, because he doesn't actually want to try and put it on yet. Not when the possibility of him doing so has been brought up and bet upon. Maybe it's pointlessly contradictory, but it feels anticlimactic to put the thing on just now. He'll save it for some other time, probably.

    Or he'll put it in his sylladex and forget about it until somebody reminds him. It's hard to tell how these things are going to go until they've already happened in hilariously stupid ways.

    "Hey. You. Assholes #1 and #2. Why do you look like somebody jammed a stick up you?" He asks of the two Wizard Kings. It might have something to do with the fact that he just fast forwarded through all the stuff that nobody really wants to focus on.

    Speaking of not paying attention, the two have a pretty brief window to address him in, because Vruasa turns towards Laer after a moment or two. He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows in an exaggeratedly suspicious look, "Why the HELL didn't you take the doom artifact for yourself? It would've been pretty fuckin' easy." He looks around.

    "... I wonder what the ramifications of turning this into a self-insert story would be." He ponders aloud.

Laer (353) has posed:
    The ceremony strikes Laer as slightly strange and not worth considering further. Still, especially with the rumbling, the bard seems satisfied enough. Ominous rumbling means they must have made some kind of progress.

    As for Vrausa's question... "I don't really need another doom artifact here, do I? I think it's more of a key, anyway, but I already have the ability to do what I need to do here. And Serori managed to give me plenty of nice titles. Besides, I'm supposed to be the editor here; I need the rest of you to be stabilizing characters, right?" That's almost sort of generous, except she mostly did it to put other people on the front lines of the conflict, as normal.

Homura Akemi (2) has posed:
    If Homura had a reaction for the sound of foreshadowing, it is lost when Vruasa just straight up addresses the kings as Assholes #1 and #2.

    So instead she just kind of stands there with her mouth half-open for a moment before wondering why she is even surprised at this turn of events.

    She can, at least, answer his last question.

    "I believe first you would need to seduce both princesses, aiming to unify the kings that way. Then you would face wave after wave of champions, to prove yourself the strongest as well as the most handsome. And then, when the dark lord returns to claim his ring of power, you put it on, without any side-effects, and defeat him as though it were a walk in the park. You then proclaim yourself more powerful than the silly ring, chuck it in lava, and become king of kings, having become more important to both kingdoms than its existence."

Vruasa Telash has posed:
    "Pfeh. If you say so." Vruasa replies to Laer, unconvinced. He's not really sure what the angle is, but he wouldn't actually be all that bothered if he knew. He IS better suited at being on the front lines. It's actually Homura who manages to aggravate him with her suggestions on how this winds up... a little bit, at least! He grins, displaying a set of teeth that look more like rows of shark fangs than anything else. It's, as always, an extremely unfriendly grin.

    "Married men don't woo princesses. I already did that a long, long time ago." He says to her, raising a hand to display a band that is incredibly easy to miss if one has not just been made aware that it exists. There really is only the one person the damn thing could come from.

    Vruasa sidles over to the Kings, nudging at them with his elbows, "You don't want your daughters to get ripped apart by the Black Miles, do you?"

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    Vruasa's first, initial question gets a frown from both kings. "Because this one's some pretender to the throne." Both of them speak in unison, before immediately launching into yet another petty argument.

    The Short Man sighs heavily. "Got forty different kings."
    The Tall Woman shrugs. "They all have equally legitimate claim."
    "To the throne? Yeah."
    "Well, to everything else, not quite as much."
    "Lotta tension about it."
    "Luckily, peace is kept, albeit barely."

    Both kings are too caught up in bullshit political strife to care enough about any daughters they may or may not have, and what effects the Black Miles might have on them. Not because that doesn't sound super deadly, but mostly because they're assholes.

Fiora O'Brien has posed:
    Fiora, having taken a BACKSTAGE ROLE becuase...

    Well, Because Fiora.

    ... smiles, a cheshire grin from her little smokey hidey-hole out in plain sight. "You can leave me out of it. If you want to go gallavanting around marrying a bunch of people who half exist for feudal murderpolitics to gain great fakepower, then, you know, more power to you. Political beddings are fine. Honstly, I'm not /that/ much of a jealous, overzealous, possessive sadist." She laughs, with a joking tone.

    "No, but seriously, if you're the Great Hero I'm sure your spear will unite the lands."

    Fiora grins even broader, and waggles her eyebrows. "One of your 'spears', at least."

Homura Akemi (2) has posed:
    "It would be a pretty poor self-insert story without the hero receiving unlikely romance from impossible sources," is all Homura has to say-- not doubting in the slightest Vruasa's sincerity. There was never any room for that! The mention of there being forty kings-- she thought it was just a fancy title, guess not-- gets a brow raise from Homura, because that has got to be an incredible mess to keep together.

    She attempts, in vain, to ignore Fiora's jokes.
    She just sort of groans a bit.

    "I regret everything I said. So what next, ML?"
    Right let's have Laer change the subject.
    Or make it worse. With her it's hard to predict.

Laer (353) has posed:
    "Well. I suppose next we just have to resolve all of the conflicts between these two and the other thirty eight, and eventually between them and wherever the one that's hiding is hiding, and then the dragon... Oh. There's really too much of a mess here for one night, isn't there, Nyarie?" Laer asks her Abstractum, a bit sadly.

    She'll just try to ignore Fiora this once for fear of attracting bad puns to herself. Or Black Miles.

Vruasa Telash has posed:
    "You probably wouldn't even murder them, they'd just disappear and never be heard from again, until we found a skeleton floating in the bob ross dimension." Vruasa thinks aloud in Fiora's direction, altogether unconvinced that there is any sort of sincerity in the things she has to say. He's not really intimidated by a lot of people, but he's pretty certain Fiora could make him miserable if he made her unhappy. That isn't actually his motivation to keep her happy, though. Unlike some people out there, he is legitimately loyal to the people he gives a shit about, even if he regards most OTHER people as worth less than trash as a default.

    With regards to Homura's remarks, he answers, "Meh. I don't think you realize how utterly unattractive mortals are to somebody like us. Or even some immortals, for that matter. There's just no... no IMAGINATION. No physical foundation of the entire cosmos. The whole concept is like entertaining romance with a dangerously undercooked steak."

    One more question is asked, of the Short Man and Tall Woman, "Are either of these two assholes incredibly fucking evil?"

Abstractum.Net (347) has posed:
    "Sounds like something that'd take a long time! Let's just tell people we did and come back later to actually do it." Nyarie says, firmly. "Editing that was kinda dumb and I'm not super eager to do it more!"

    The Short Man shakes his head. "Not really evil."
    The Tall Woman makes vague gestures. "At best, just jerks."

    "Hey!" Both of the kings seem to object to this.

    "Lotta stress and not a lot of good upbringing around here."
    "But no real... Malice, I would think."

Vruasa Telash has posed:
    "Damn." Vruasa complains, crossing his arms and looking between the two Kings with an expression of intense disappointment. "If one of them had been evil I was just going to stab him to death immediately to get this started. God damnit. Well, I'm out of ideas."

    He is a bad Hero of Ages.

Laer (353) has posed:
    Laer replies to Nyarie. "Tired so soon? We need to start working you out a bit more, I think. We've got a lot of narrative threads to clean up, after all." She won't object to Vruasa's decision, but will just point out. "Don't worry. I'm sure there's at least ten or twenty evil kings out of all of these. You'll have plenty of heroing to be done."