The Interrogation of Adachi

The Interrogation of Adachi
Date of Cutscene:	23 August 2021
Location:	Paladins Holding
Synopsis:	Shinnosuke Tomari interrogates Tohru Adachi.
Thanks to:	Adachi for being a chad
Cast of Characters:	7357, Tohru Adachi

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PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "Alright, Mr. Adachi. I'm here to ask you some questions. I want to know why you've done the things you have, and I want you to know the severity of your actions. Even if Xion may be planning to break you out, I can't let you walk out of here the same person if you do."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Geeze. You wanna be here all night? That's a pretty long story there you're asking for, Mr. Superstar Cop."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Well, first thing's first. You want my life story, you answer a question for me. I know how this works you know, you can't actually make me talk."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "I'm willing to listen. You've done some heinous things, but even so, I don't think it's as simple as 'I wanted to have fun' or whatever you're going to say.-"
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "Sure."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "I'll play back and forth."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "What's Lily's kill count? Like... How many people did the Paladins have to file as a 'unfortunate but necessary casualty'? I know the Paladins are practically cops in some cases, but I didn't expect you guys to practice the same culture of harboring psychopaths. I thought that was a Watch and Concord exclusive thing."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "..."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "By the way, I'd scrub that question from the logs if I were you. Your ass would probably be beaten just as hard as mine if you kept that."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari sighs, but eventually decides to answer. "As far as I know, none. Not for lack of trying." He doesn't write it down.
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Huh. Considering how hard she kicked my head, I was under the impression she's absolutely off her rocker. Oh well, can't be right all the time." PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "I'm really sorry about that."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi shrugs, "Bitch is a bitch. Ain't personal. Also you can actually put that in the log this time. Bet she takes pride in being called that. She seems the type. ANYWAAAY~"
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari adds a note that he doesn't support the degradation of women, and continues.
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "So, I'll just skip my life growing up. Isn't that important. Just typical Japanese burnout stuff. Work for straight As to appease your parents, doomed to a life of mediocrity out in the sticks. You know how it works."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "I understand. And you don't have to explain the police academy - we've both been."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Yeah, yeah. Was gonna skip that too. So it all started when I shook Izanami's hand at a gas station. I mean, didn't know it at the time, can't even say I should have seen it in hindsight because she wasn't much of a looker."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari skeptically, "The goddess?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "You know any other Izanamis? I mean, I'm sure there's like fifty thousand out here, but yeah. That one."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "She worked as a gas station attendant handing free power ups. Wanted to figure out 'what humanity wanted'."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Course she doesn't tell anyone cause she's a stupid rotting corpse Goddess and being cryptic is part of the job description I guess. So it was up to me, some spineless council secretary, and my Partner's nephew to stumble into what we had. We all learned what we got eventually, but I figured it out first. Since I'm pretty cool like that."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "Via murder?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Getting there!"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "So like, now we gotta talk about rumors."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "...what."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "There was this rumor going around town that at midnight, if you look into turned off television during the rain, you'd see your soulmate."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Me, being a lonely but loveable guy, decided to check it out. And it worked! Kinda, it actually was kind of a scam. Actually showed the town's thoughts or whatever, but again, hindsight."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Ah crap, forgot to talk about the scandal. But that's just a bunch of love affair stuff. Just know there was a reporter there. Basically that council secretary guy, just gonna call him Namatame to keep it simple, cheated on his wife with her. Mayumi Yamano. And she went into hiding while the media was covering it in Inaba of all places."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Anyway, the TV showed her. And I knew where she was because wouldn't ya know it, I was signed to make sure nobody murdered her at night. So I took of advantage of it."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "To..."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "Do what?"
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "Why did you want her dead?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "So I approached her at night, asked her if the affair shit was real. Cause you know, dating a woman who cheats ain't cool. Guess it's how I asked, or maybe she just couldn't handle my good looks, but we got a bit too close to a TV, and she fell in. Actually a complete accident, but can't say I lost any sleep over it. Was actually kinda exciting."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "...I believe you that it was an accident, but you're still a goddamn creep."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "But there were two murders."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "So like, she just straight up disappeared for a while. Then the fog came after a rainy day, and wouldn't you know it? Her body was hanging up on a television antenna by some 'senior' girl who was cutting class early to go work at Junes."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "..."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "So then I'm asked to interview the girl. Funny how that works."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "What's her name again...Uhhhh..."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Saki Konishi, that's it!"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "So like, I'm tasked to interview her, and really, I'm not worried. No way she can know right? There's no evidence."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "But...?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Get a call from Namatame, apparently he heard the rumor too and said he saw Saki on TV during midnight after she was on the news for Yamano's death. I mean, they censored her face and voice, but the news did a pretty shitty job so everyone knew."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "So I decide to bring her in at night to the station for question. Nobody else was buying it, but I figured something was up. Except nothing was up, go figures. Decide to do a tiny bit of flirting cause you know, questioning going nowhere and girls like compliments right?"
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "...she rejected you, didn't she?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "She fucking slapped me, so I slapped her through a television. On purpose this time. Nobody suspected me either, not like the station had anyone else in it or any cameras, so I just said she never showed up."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Who knew Police Stations are ill equipped to monitor abuse?"
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari is visibly angry, but masks it by grabbing his notebook and writing into it.
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "I've heard enough. I imagine, in the end, you were caught, Izanami got her answer, and the world was saved. But I didn't think you did it because you were a horny jackass."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "Do you ever regret it? You must have liked your partner. He must have felt betrayed."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "There's actually a a bit more. Consider it a present."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "..."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, " After a few more days, her body shows up. And Namatame calls again. Nobody wants to listen because he sounds like a schizophrenic freak, but ya know, I figured I'd hear him out."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Tells me he can put his hand through a television."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Tells me about the Midnight Channel again. So I figure, might as well have some fun. I tell him that the people he sees on TV, he should put in the television to keep safe. It's probably a gift from God or something so he can be a protector."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "And he fucking buys it."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "...no."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "You monster."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Oh, don't worry. Nobody died. Partner's nephew took care of that. Thought it was the funniest shit though, but looking back, it was kind of an easy bait. But yeah, basically ends as you say. Partner's Nephew beats me up with a bunch of kids playing the Reaper's game."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "Is everything a game to you?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Izanami decides to kill humanity anyway by covering them in icky fog because she's a fucking whore that decides things for people. Even if ya know, she's kinda right. Society doesn't want to seek the truth, they just want to cover their eyes and be spoon fed everything."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "I mean, kinda?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Life's boring, Shinny. My life is especially boring."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "I was hoping I'd find a way to help you. Maybe someway you'd leave here a different man, able to actually redeem yourself. But...you just find this hysterical. You're not a good person. You destroyed a small town for fun. What about the nephew? The partner? Do they not matter at all to you?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi awkwardly laughs, "Haha, who knows."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "...they do, don't they? You said you were redeeming yourself. They're why, isn't it?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Have to give it to you, you're the first person who actually put it together. Was honestly expecting Keyon to figure it out first. Yeah. That's right. I'm redeeming myself. By tearing shit down. You've ever dealt with like, a country wide Zaibatsu?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "There's probably thousands of people like me where I'm from, I was just lucky enough to get superpowers to act what I wanted out."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "So if you destroy the Zaibatsu, bam, no more mes. Am I a genius or what?"
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "And then what comes after?"
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Watching people scramble to pick up the pieces of a collapsed government. Gotta have my fun somehow."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "But whatever takes its place is probably gonna be better than what we have, ya know? But I'm not pretending to be a good guy."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari grunts. "Alright. I think that's enough. If it matters at all, I believe your entire story. I believe you want to redeem yourself. But you're never going to be able to do anything with all that loathing. Listen to your peers more. Work with them. Because if you don't, you'll be back here again, and I don't believe she'll have plans to bust you out a second time."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Aight. Also add this before we wrap up."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "All the Japanese Gods can lick my sweaty unwashed ass."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "I'm not adding that."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari puts his notebook away.
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "And ain't no amount of curbstompings will make me take that back."
PHONE: Tohru Adachi says, "Awwww."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari says, "Take a goddamn shower."
PHONE: Phoning Tohru Adachi, Shinnosuke Tomari departs.