WMAT A1 Theo vs. Lupita

WMAT A1 Theo vs. Lupita
Date of Scene:	21 June 2014
Location:	WMAT Arena - Northern Mountains
Synopsis:	WMAT: Lupita vs Theo Match
Thanks to:	Thanks to Metta for the Commentary!
Cast of Characters:	Maya, 185, 311, Theo Morrison

---

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
The WMAT Match of the century! ... Well maybe not quite the CENTURY, but in Lupita's head, she's been psyching herself up for HOURS. She is GOING TO WIN THIS, OO RAH, she's going to PROVE she can be a SUBJUGGLATOR even WITH a mutation and fuck all the rest OO RAH. And she's going to WIN the WMAT so she can BUY AETHRA LOTS OF SHIT TO MAKE HER FEEL HAPPY, OO RAH!

... The Alpha Packbeast Moonfray croouches neatly in the middle of a large copse of trees; a clearing the size of which one would normally assign to, say, stupid disney movies with furry animals, where al whole crapton of fucking action can happen and the background never changes from 'meadow'. Shit like that. She's waiting for her opponant, Mister Theo Morrison, and she's got her SUFFERSMASH CLUBS out at the moment, picking at the silver chains, and grinning at the fresh paint of the Cancer Sigil she's carved into them with a thumb-claw.

Theo Morrison has posed:
Theo is a much less impressive contestant than most people in this thing. Dressed like a guy off the street and carrying a backpack slung over his shoulder, Theo crashes, cracks, shuffles and hops through the underbrush in the forest right up until he ends up on the far side of the aforementioned clearing. He runs his hand through his hair, looking around, and peering at 'Alpha Packbeast Moonfray' as soon as he catches sight of her.

"Hi," he calls, raising a hand. "Are you, uh, Moonfray? I think we're supposed to do battle."

A second thing hops out of the forest, this one much more deft at navigating it. A small, birdlike mechanical creature, with a big, beaked head in shiny grey metal, lands next to Theo. It doesn't so much fly as it does jump; the Myr Servitor lands, and walks around in front of him. It's about three feet high, and it appears to carrying a dinner tray on it's head.

"I'm Theo. This is Kickotron. He's just my table, don't worry about him." He fishes in his backpack, pulling out a plastic box and dropping what looks like a deck of cards in his hand. He starts shuffling, only pausing to pull a roughly rectangular emblem or badge of some kind (with the trademark crystal eye of an Abstractum) off his coat, pressing it against the surface of the table. He goes back to shuffling.

"Nice, um... claws." Perhaps weirdly, Theo looks totally unarmed.

Metta (185) has posed:
There's a flutter of wings, and then, up in the commentators box, Metta rearranges the microphone, pulling it down rather low to the table as she stands there, the tiny shinki smirking away as she considers how to do this, then after a few seconds...

"Laaaadddiiiieeeees and gentlemen! My name is Metta, the cutest six-inch idol in the Multiverse, and I'm here today with the WMAT match froooooom the south and west!"

She swings around, her wings fluttering audibly to get picked up by the microphone as she points where presumably one of the two is. "Representing the south, we have the AHMAAAZIIIING ALPHA. PACKBEAST! MOOONFRAY! May the fire run in their blood! Aaaannnnd for the west, the only man that requires a table to fight with-" Metta swings around again, pointing- "The inexplicably capable and huuuuuge gamer, the Planeswalker THEO MORRISON!"

"Join us in the Northern Mountains and on the radio to cheer your favorites on!"

"What's a Kickotron?" She can be heard asking off-radio.

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
The troll looks up, purple eyes gleaming with a slightly .. unsettling glint from under her wolf-skull helmet. She nods! "Alpha Packbeast Moonfray. Full title is my full name, bra," She says, grinning, as she rises up from her crouch. Her smile sure has a LOT of fangs! Sharktoothed smile. She gestures out to the woods-- the glint of a nearby pond is visible. "Just be careful not to go over there, Bra. My fishsis, she's all up and watching from there, c'os I promised her the best seat she could get without bein' around in the crowd o' folks." She mms, and then picks up one of the clubs - easily as big as Theo himself - and hefts it to rest on her shoulder, before holding out a massive hand. "May the best fucker win, huh? Also, dude, you got metal globes to be here in the first place unarmed. So. Props, yo."

She chuckles a little. "Let's get the show on the road though, huh? Shit, uh." She pauses, turns around, grabs a flattish stone, and then uses a claw to carve a gash into one side, then shows it to Theo. "Heads or tails?"

Theo Morrison has posed:
"Alpha Packbeast Moonfray," he echoes, nodding. "Gotcha. I thought it was, y'know, a title or something. Sorry!"

Theo's Abstractum adheres to the makeshift table. He puts his deck down, and then draws seven off the top, examining his hand for a couple of seconds. He makes a few mental notes, considering it's contents. "Don't worry, I'll keep my distance," Theo murmurs. Then, he looks back up, smiling slightly. "Yeah, guess so. I'm not much for weapons. But in a battle of wits," he quips, pointing a finger-gun at 'Moonfray' and shooting her a quick grin, "I'm /never/ unarmed!"

Kickotron, the bird-robot-thing, looks up at Theo, perhaps judgementally. Theo looks back down, shrugging. "It sounded better in my head, okay," he mutters.

"Oh, uh, crap, heads!!"

*flip*

"...double-crap."

Metta (185) has posed:
Metta starts singing. She's a idol Shinki. Her voice is pure, vibrant, and /totally wrong for the song that starts playing./

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4

"It's the - eye of the packbeast it's the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of the planeswalkers! With the last known survivors fighting in the doubl-ya matt, and they're watching each other with the eyeeee-

"OF THE PACKBEAST!"

"Three, two-"

Metta pauses as the coin flips-

"One! FIGHT!" She cheers into her microphone.

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
the stone is flipped easily, just, flung! into the air, flipping end over end, and lands, marked side down. WELP! Looks like she gets to go first. Lupita grins! ... But squints an eye at Theo, before she snorts. "Sorry, bra, y'all ain't my type. Don't date humes." She shakes her head, and snickers to herself, before looking toward the sound of the commentator, and staaaring at Metta's direction. She's tempted to chuck the flipped stone at the shinki for that one man. But she knows that would totes harsh the whimsy of things, so instead, she turns back to Theo, and grins. "Bra, I'll take it easy on you, kay? Kay."

She hefts her great bloody club, and then comes at Theo, swinging it for him in a very, AMAZINGLY, controlled manner that brings the large monster of bone and chains crashing for the smaller opponant's chest. You'd THINK he'd be SMASHED TO BITS by that but SOMEHOW, Lupita pulls back JUST enough to not totally SMUSH HIM INTO THE GROUND.
After all man. Even a batshit crazy clown knows how to leave their toys unbroken just enough to play with them.

Theo Morrison has posed:
"It's okay, I don't date what I can't identifOH GOD-"

The club-and-chain thing hits him dead-center. Theo is lifted right off his feet and sent tumbling, hitting the ground and rolling back to his feet in a move that is almost certainly totally accidental. You can tell on account of how he looks stunned that he's standing. He pats his shirt with one hand. It's not even rumpled. "Thank you, Staren, for the durable replacement," he wheezes in a near-mutter.

The Myr with the table (and the Abstractum, and the deck) hops back next to Theo. He snatches a card off the top and then slaps cards down from his hand, one after the other, announcing them as he plays. Presumably, this is for the Viewers At Home. "Ornithopter! Urza's Tower!"

The grove suddenly trembles. The ground splits, and a colossal building explodes out of it, a wide, vaguely-conical skyscraper with a blunted top and numerous thinner spires rising out of it's sides. Worse, it does it right underneath Lupita, who very suddenly has to deal with unsteady, rapidly-ascending footing. Don't fall off!

The Ornithopter appears almost simultaneously. Theo jumps, and it materializes underneath him, flickering into sight with a wisp of foglike Aether. The wood-and-leather flying machine ascends, circling the tower as he tries to put some distance between himself and the club-wielding killer clown. Kickotron clings to it underneath the tail, with the tray in his other hand.

The cards on it don't seem to be bothered by the wind, tilt or momentum. Huh.

Theo leans back, reaching over and dropping another card, turning the one with the tower on it sideways. "Expedition Map," he calls, not seconds before an elaborate, worn map drops into his lap. He clings to it -- and the Ornithopter -- for dear life.

Metta (185) has posed:
There is a wince from Metta. "Oohohoho, that /HAD/ to hurt!" Metta says with the knowldge of a shinki that has fought and gotten mauled very badly by Fuki before. "I'm surprised Theo doesn't have any broken ribs with that-" Beat- "SMASHING! attack from the club from the Packbeast, but--"

"OH MY GOSH, WHAT IS THIS?!"

Metta is jumping around, gleefully shouting into her microphone as she continues to watch. "He's a summoner?! What is that thing? The packbeast better hope that she doesn't fall, otherwise this might be really painful!"

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
The ground SHAKES RATTLES AND ROLLS! But Big Joe Turner ain't here to cause or see this! Instead, Lupita finds herself on unstable ground, dropping from two-legged to hands and feet on the ground. Oddly, she does not seem at all unsttled by this new stands, even though her legs can't possibly be comfortable... can they? Lupita springs! And attempts to catch onyo the tower with hand-claws, and steady herself with her feet as it SHOOTS UP out of the ground! She's not really BUILT for that kind of a climb though, it ain't an organic thing at all, so after a few moments of scrabbling on stone, she falls backwards to the ground with a thudding groan, and then grrrowls. She leaps back to her feet, and watches the ornithopter as it flaps about, following it with her eyes narrowed. She looks around, the clubs briefly vanishing, before she finds that same damn stone she'd scored for their flip.

She grins fangily, grabs it up in her hands, and then, curling her arm about it, suddenly LAUNCHES IT like a DISCUS, aiming it for JUST before Theo in his flight path so that by the time it gets to that spot it should be colliding with SOMETHING. Theo's head, his shoulder, his CONTRAPTION, who knows.

Theo Morrison has posed:
Theo has learned not to take anything for granted in the Multiverse. Not even the idea that the killer clown from outer space(?) could climb the tower and hit him with something heavy from way over here. He's expecting her to close into melee, not throw... is that the /coin/?

He knew he should have used a /real/ coin.

A sharp edge on the rock hits the wing of the Ornithopter, cracking the frame and sending it into a spinning dive. It glances off Theo's shoulder, elliciting a yelp of surprise and pain from him. He grits his teeth and bails out, jumping off the falling 'thopter on it's way towards the ground far below. Its flapping ascent is now more like a tumbling descent.

Kickotron lands neatly. Theo's map floats down next to him. He untaps his tower on the table while he's got a few seconds, drawing another card and dropping another land immediately. "Urza's Power Plant," he declares. "Sacrificing Expedition Map..." The map next to him alights, a sudden scrawl of text appearing on it's surface. It circles a location on it. He pulls a card out of the middle of his deck without looking, knowing what it is, and shuffling it quickly.

A second structure appears, this one a cylindrical thing attached to the base of the Tower. It's open in the middle, with massive support pillars holding up the top and some kind of array of complex magical machinery visible on the interior. Bright green light sparks from inside, a bone-deep humming coming from the structure.

"...to fish for an Urza's Mine. And thennn..." The Ornithopter passes him on it's mad plummet. It glances off the power plant's side, ricocheting back around towards Lupita -- and, quite possibly, crashing down right on top of her in a big ol' jumbled mess of parts. Theo winces sympathetically.

"...pass turn."

Metta (185) has posed:
"She's a GOOD SHOT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I don't think I could make that, and I'm primarily a sniper! AMAZING!"

Metta stares as the Ornithopter drops right on Lupita's head. "... ... I don't have anything. Ow?" She offers up, temporarily shocked.

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
"Tha fuck? REALLY? What the motherfucking kind of science is THIS fucking shit!" Barks Lupita in surprise as Tho lands on the tower and then summons a-- what the fuck even IS that thing? The foul-mouthed alien stares, shakes her head, then-- does an odd thing. She ducks down and starts unlacing her boots. Of course, Aethra, watching somewhere nearby, would know what this means, but it's debatable much of the multiverse would.

Of course, no one gets to SEE what happens when she pulls those painful constricting things off because suddenly, an ORNITHOPTER LANDS ON HER.

.... Thankfully, Lupita is not a Witch.

Instead, she is a TROLL, and shortly after the great construct of FLAPPY lands, dust settles, and then with a growl, a barely bruised alien -CLOWN- CHESTBURSTS from it with a loud WOOOOOOF! of a roar, sending the pieces askew. She climbs out of the wreckage, and then, now bootless, bares her MASSIVE MOUTH OF FANGS at Theo up above, splays her hands, and -starts climbing that fucking tower- like a motherfucking -HORROR MOVIE MONSTER- that just won't quit. Once she gets to the top, and climbsherself up, she crouches at the edge, fangs bared in a sneer, and then lunges for Theo, in an attempt to TACKLE HIM to the stony tower 'floor' with a whole HELLUVA lot of bulk. Dude, she's built like a BRICK, for all the absurdity she carries.

Theo Morrison has posed:
It's a /power plant/. Gosh, read the card--

--ohhhh riiight...

Theo makes a mental note about witches and troll and the differences thereof. He doesn't have much time to ponder it, though; he looks down over the edge of the tower and sees her climbing it, like some kind of deranged, murder-and-fun-loving clownopath with /shark/ somewhere in her ancestry.

Theo is not ashamed to say that he screamed a little.

"Pass the turn pass the turn PASS THE TURN--" She's on the edge. She's jumping. Theo feels something tick over in his brain. He grabs the top card off his nearby deck, barely sparing it a glance. Instead, he slaps down a slew of cards almost all at once. In truth, they all go down one at a time fractions of a second between them, and they all down in a very particular order. Theo is taking a breath when --

WHUMP. He hits the ground, 'Moonfray' on top of him. She weighs a ton, but he can't think of a good quip about it in the heat of the moment. Instead, he starts calling his play, struggling to catch his breath and use it in the same instant.

"Urza's Mine --" The tower they're on grows. It smoothly expands, more tiers and spires appearing. The connections to the power plant grow as a third structure, this one a dome with numerous portruding pieces of machinery. It looks like construction cranes and train tracks, running out into the forest nearby. The churn of gearworks is suddenly audible. Something's changed.

"-- into Golem Foundry!" One of the spires nearby shifts, a vat of some kind with an open top and a vertical slice taken out of the side materializing on top of it. Massive furnaces and huge pipes flank it. He catches his breath with a sudden inhalation, speaking rapid-fire. "Arcbound Ravager Myr Servitor Myr Servitor sac a Servitor spawn a golem /block/!"

A bunch of things happen all at once. The first is that something else climbs up the side of the tower.

The creature is huge, made of rough, twisted metal, all connected through brilliantly glowing ropes of energy. It's head is like some kind of titanic metallic creature's skull, with toothy inner jaws behind a set of upwards-sweeping 'tusks.' It crests the side of the tower -- and on it's back are two more Myr Servitors, identical to the one carrying Theo's card tray, miniscule in comparison.

It stares down at Lupita. Then, it reaches up one claw, plucks a Myr off it's back, and eats it. It immediately grows in size, the light intensifying and the metal groaning as it somehow expands. The second Myr clambors down it's back, apparently searching for something. Behind it, the curious spire glows, liquid, red-hot metal shooting out of the pipes and into the partially-breached vat. The furnaces flare, fire shooting out of them into the sky.

A moment later, a seven-foot humanoid made of solid steel bursts out of the flow of liquid metal. It's mouth opens and a hiss of steam emerges, the innards glowing with white-hot heat. It takes two long strides and then leaps, jumping over to the platform and barreling forward to shoulder-check Lupita off of Theo and into the wall with astounding, clearly superhuman strength.

It does not appear to know that it should stop when she's clear. They might be about to breach the tower wall.

Maya has posed:
Maya has been in the stands the entire time watching the match she's on her seat watching the Troll and Theo go at it. She knew Theo better than Lupita, but also knows the troll has fought damn hard to see afterus born so she's just kinda cheering for both really at the same time! It's a heck of a fight and would be a lie she's not enjoying it. After all she was raised by two guys who run a bar and a baker...

Metta (185) has posed:
Up in the commentators box...

Metta, blankly, "/what/." Followed by something falling off the table. Probably Metta.

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
Frankly, Lupita does not see this GOLEM RUSH coming. Lucky for Theo. But she vaguely hears something and turns in time to-- "HOOOF!" Be slammed into and be charged for the wall. A yelp of surprise at the impact WITH said wall, but then a snarl erupts as she grapples with the Golem, and begins trying to SHOVE. HIM. BACK. They've left a LUPITA SHAPED DENT in the wall by the time she starts to make ground with the shoving attempt, her feet - what the fuck is up with her feet, they look like gargoyle paws?! - digging into the ruts in the stone of the tower to help her get traction.

She shoves until she's got enough space to suddenly whip -around- the Golem, at which point, now behind it, she grapples her arms about it's NECK AND SHOULDERS and then attempts to heft it up with a roaring snarl. She then hugs TIGHT, and SWINGS, attempting to LAUNCH the Golem for the very man who created it like a very strange combination of a Caber Toss and a SOLID ROCK MEDICINE BALL THROW.

Theo Morrison has posed:
GOLEM RUSH is kind of a thing that most people don't see coming. That's why it's so /effective/, both on the tabletop and here. They expect you to just amass an army, not spit out killer robots every which way whenever you have the chance.

Lupita proves to be the Ork ideal -- that is, the biggest and the strongest. Theo scrambles backwards on the ground and then tries to get to his feet, only to have his golem /thrown/ at him. Fling, he thinks, is completely OP.

"SACRIFICE!" he shouts, for no apparent reason. The golem comes down and lands on Theo, forcing him back to the ground, but the Arcbound Ravager snatches it out of the air before the immensely heavy thing can crush his fragile human bones. Theo tumbles down a four-step stone staircase, rolling and then scrambling back up. His whole body aches.

The Ravager, meanwhile, bites the head off the golem. It moves onto the rest of it shortly thereafter, terrible metal threshing noises coming from it. It groans again, growing even larger, looming even higher. It doesn't seem willing to attack Lupita of it's own will, if it even has one; it just watches the engagement as it happens.

Theo snatches his next card up, dropping it on the mobile tabletop that is Kickotron. "Urza's Tower," he gasps, panting. The tower alights, magical points of illumination appearing in arrowslit-like windows and along spires. Everything comes into sharper definition on it, and the dent in the wall repairs itself in short order. He glances at his one remaining card, and then at Lupita, still dangerously close.

"Screw it," he mutters. Theo taps the Power Plant. He slaps the card down. Something appears on his shirt, clinging to it and resembling a bulbous, metallic insect with hooked, segmented legs. A greenish liquid bubbles inside it's partially-transparent mechanical body. "Contagion Clasp!"

The Contagion Clasp twists, and spits. It sprays a cloud of oily mist at Lupita, a clinging, sticky fog that burns the eyes and skin (or, well, carapace) in equal measure. It pits the stone of the tower by touching it -- and, most disturbingly, it /lingers/, remaining as potent and dangerous. It seems to break things down, weakening them while it dissolves them. It's a pretty gross thing. In the background, the Golem Foundry starts to fill up again, a third of it full of molten metal from the presence of the new Artifact in his possession.

Then he taps the tower and the mine, looking right at her. "Proliferate," he states, enunciating clearly.

The Clasp vibrates, a gleam of mana crossing it's surface. The cloud suddenly doubles in size and intensity, and the stain of the stuff that might be on her spreads with alarming rapidity. At the same time, the molten metal rises, similarly doubling in volume... and the shadow of the Ravager grows ever-bigger, the energy inside it intensifying in response to the strange magical effect.

Theo staggers away from her now that he doesn't need to be nearby for that. If she's been doused, he can keep proliferating it all he wants. "Pass turn!!" he calls, booking it around a bend not a second after.

Maya has posed:
Maya watches as Theo makes it up with as much drama as an old friend of her's by the name of Yuugi, she wondered how he Kaiba and Joey were doing but it been years since they'd heard anything from them. Whatever was up in the spirit relm had to be huge, either way she focus watchin the fight and just how Theo uses his powers, and Lupita's responses to them.

Metta (185) has posed:
Metta squints, then, honestly: "I have no idea what Theo is doing anymore. This just in, Metta is /clueless/."

There's a long pause, then Metta winces, going, "Ooooh! However, whatever it is, both of them are tossing around some NASTY-lookin' attacks, we're definitely gonna neeed some medics over here whenever the fight finishe...s... eeew. /Ow/."

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
The onyl GOOD thing about being a Purpleblood is usually that you are BIG, STRONG, TOUGH, and can TAKE A FUCKING BEATING while at the same time DISHING ONE OUT. But even Lupita can't counter acidic breath spat at her with BRAWN. She snarls, and claws at herself, trying to swipe the stuff away as it burns through touch shell-like skin, and causes her to hiss and spit, before she drops to all fours and just does the gogdamed DOG THING and tries to SHAKE IT ALL OFF like a bad bath.

Then she notices that the thign is still attached to Theo.. and gets an idea. She grins. Oh god, it's that bad grin, too, the one that usually makes the Devil go, 'Shit, she's up!' in the mornings. She shifts back into th same satcne she'd taken when she lunged for him-- and indeed lunges again this time! But instead of trying to tackle, she suddenly rises up and makes a lashing swipe for his tee's collar-- intent to grab it and then use her hold on it to fling both him AND that BUG thing for the ground in a flipping-slinging motion not onlike grabbing an animal by it's neck and trying to SMASH IT into the GROUND.

Theo Morrison has posed:
Shaking the stuff off doesn't work so well. It's oily, clinging and has a sort of cloying scent with a metallic hint to it, kind of like if you were a decaying cyborg... or something like it, anyway. Lupita can clear the worst of it off in a dog-like fashion, but the rest sticks around. Chemical weapons aren't very worthwhile if you can shake like a dog and get it off.

Picking up the person wielding it and hitting him against something hard /is/, however, a pretty good answer to the problem.

Theo hits the ground, hard. The Contagion Clasp shatters, the goop inside splattering all over the tower. Inexplicably, none of it sticks to his shirt, which, Lupita may be able to tell, is actually surprisingly tough. She could swing him around all day from this!

(Theo doesn't want to be swung around all day.)

Kickotron moves up, and holds out the next card in his deck while he's being hammered into the stonework. Theo, vision spinning, takes it. All he manages to make out is the vague silhouette on it, which is fine, because it's /super/ distinct. He makes a grunting noise reaching out a noodle arm and flipping all his lands sideways. He drops it clumsily on the table.

"Buhhbluhn buhloffuf," he says, and gestures mostly-limply at Lupita. He'll get his mouth working right as soon as he can see straight, don't worry!

Fortunately, that was plenty more than he needed. The ground shakes, a small tremor passing through it. Nothing rises dramatically out of it this time, though. Instead, it shakes a second time, a tiny bit more than it had just a second ago. And then... again. It's strangely rhythmic.

Footsteps.

The absolutely titanic construct steps into sight on the other side of the mountain rise. Clouds part as it approaches, the enormous, black-metal figure huge enough to need to push through them. Gaps in it's armor glow orange with heat, and a dozen smokestacks jut out of it from odd angles on it's arms and upper body, belching a trail of black smog. Golden rings like atomic orbits surround it, flickering with the same-colored light as they shift and rotate. It approaches, slow and inexorable, baleful eyes sweeping across the landscape and focusing on the two combatants on the tower.

It isn't here yet. It will be.

The Arcbound Ravager finally moves. The construct swings itself upwards onto the tower, bigger than can fit on one of the spiralling walkways. It half-clings to the wall and half to the floor, the apelike golem coming up behind Lupita with only the clash of metal and stone to betray it's presence. It raises one enormous clawed hand and swipes it at her, an attack vaguely reminiscent of her opening move against Theo.

The key difference is that it's about three times her size, and is not concerned with 'playing around.' Rather, it intends to try and sweep her off of him, and off of the tower itself, with a single enormous strike.

Metta (185) has posed:
"Ooooh!" Metta grimaces in her commentators seat, which at this point has been revealed to be nothing more than a box with a microphone on a stand that's bigger than she is. "I'm fairly sure, ladies and gentlemen, that Theo isn't a bug, but Miss Packbeast sure is smacking him around like he is one!"

And then... Theo... Theo ... does something. Metta can't make what he says out, but then that thing starts approaching.

"... ohmygod." Metta whispers softly.

Metta, her voice very, very quiet... "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Metta, announcing for the fight between the Packbeast and Theo, and I'm /terrified/. Save me."

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
"Yeah... Yeah how you like that huh? Aw fuck yeah, hurts good don't it, HURTS SO GOOD, DON'T IT, Motherfucker! See if you get some goddamn limeblood shitfaced beetle to spit fucking acid at me again you motherfucking--" Lupita's offensive tirade is cut short by two things.

One, she smells something smokey on the air, and wonders if it's fire.
This causes her to pause long enough for
Two, the GIANTASS CONSTRUCT THAT HAD BEEN LEERING DOWN AT HER to HIT HER WITH THE FORCE OF -YES- TIMES -YESFINITY-.

#1827upita lets out a screechy yelp as she's suddenly slashed, no, SLAPPED, like a fuckign MOSQUITO and slung off thw tower at the same time. She hits the ground with the force of 'FALLING OFF A FUCKING TALL THING', leaving something of a crater around her in the ground, and takes several good long moments to finally get out of said crater with a low whine of pain because wow, she actually FELT that, not to mention she's got gashes in places where her strong chitinous skin was weakened by the muck and goo. Purple smears cut across her frame, and she spits out a fang or two and a wad of purple spit at the same time, before she turns, and slowly, painfully, climbs up the blood tower again to rejoin Theo, growling at him. What's more unsettling, the fact that she's bleeding purple, the fact that she's still coming, or the fact that now she looks -pissed off- instead of 'JUST HAVING FUN'?

She splays her fingers like claws, and crouches on one hand, before she suddenly charges at Theo, and attempts to -slash at his face with wicked-sharp nails- as she lets her -actual- claws do the work for once; yeah, no, Trolls are very good at being POINTY and SHARP and DANGEROUS.

Maya has posed:
Maya watche as this fight is going dfown to the finish here. She's seen a lot more of what Theo can do and Lupita is once again showing she's no joke either. She seems quite pleased with Metta as an announcer too this has been worth the 50 credits and then some tonight!

Theo Morrison has posed:
Lupita goes for a /trip/. Theo would posit which season in which he would see her next, but he thinks that he'd get met(t)a-penalized for the bad joke.

He finally catches his breath and, reluctantly, gets back to his feet. Theo is all sorts of wobbly; he isn't made for an extended fight, though his summons kind of are. He's barely combat-trained. All he knows about fighting he's either picked up at random or in ALO, and the latter only kind of counts, and not for this. Basically, he's just some guy, albeit some guy with magical oomph.

Reluctantly, Theo peeks over the side. He sees the crater, and he hopes that this is done with. Maybe she'll just stay down. That would be nice.

She doesn't stay down.

Crap.

Lupita starts climbing up the tower. Theo's response is to look for something heavy to drop on her while she climbs up. Lacking in convenient rocks, he gets one of his Myr Servitors (one rebuilt the other, which then kept getting eaten by the Ravager) to come over, and prepares to have it leap at her, just like SHE'S DOING TO HIM RIGHT NOW--!!

Recordscratch. The fourth wall is momentarily occupied by an adorable bird robot.

<TUTORIAL MYR>
GAME CONCEPT: 'CHUMP BLOCKER'

A chump blocker is a creature assigned to block a larger attacker, which will ultimately die at end of combat and the blocking is solely done to prevent the damage that would be dealt if the creature was unblocked. Chump blocking occurs most often by players who are losing and trying to gain additional turns in which to draw answers, or alternatively by players with some method of generating large quantities of chump blockers to indefinitely stall an attack. This sort of blocker is most commonly a creature token.

Chump blockers are most often foiled by the 'Trample' keyword, which assigns any damage in excess of the blocker's toughness to the defending player.
</TUTORIAL MYR>

We now resume our regular WMAT bout.

Lupita leaps up there to kill Theo like a goddamn gorilla. Theo flings the Myr Servitor in Lupita's path, the three-foot bird robot flailing and getting promptly shattered like a cheap vase toppled by a kindergartener. Unexpectedly, the remaining force carries through, and it catches Theo as it's about to pass him, leaving a few shallow cuts on the far side of his cheek. The scrap metal hits him in the side of the head, sending him reeling.

Theo catches himself on a groove in the wall, glances to his left, over the side. His eyes widen a touch, and he turns and flat-out runs away, leaving the Ravager and the second Servitor between him and Lupita.

The Darksteel Colossus has arrived at the tower. It stands next to it, almost as tall as the center structure in the replica of Urza's key lands. The colossal Colossus raises one hand, drawing back it's fist in a ponderous, creaking motion... and then swings it forward like it was driving a train car at the Troll that stalks the Planeswalker on the battlements.

The fist goes through the tower punching into the innards. The Colossus draws it out, and then swings the other, a second monumental blow aimed at Lupita's position. The thing's fist doesn't even seem /scratched/ by the collateral damage it's causing, and it doesn't seem to care that it's causing it, following it by raising it's hand again and swinging it downward like it was swatting an insect on a tabletop.

Theo continues to run for a connecting bridge to the Power Plant. It is getting him away from the immediate vicinity of his own creature's carnage. He /probably/ should have seen that coming.

Lupita Auryon (311) has posed:
Lupita is briefly VICTORIOUS in that she BROKE SOMETHING! BROKE SOMETHING GOOD OH FUCK YEAH. And then she even MADE THEO BLOODY! WOO! She wins! Now to follow through and-- As she's arcing into attempting to follow through with another slashing attack though, she notices, through the dizzy, BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD haze of her slight battle-insanity that.. that, Theo is, running away? And that there is suddenly, huh, a weird darkness, blotting out the hateful sun and there's a huge shadow and-- She looks up.

"... Aw -Stairs- me,"

WHOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!

... Suffice to say, as Theo wins the game, the collossus vanishes, leaving a crumpled, bleeding, but still alive, and mostly, well, worn out, Troll behind for her red-quad to collect, because even though she's STILL BLOODY ALIVE she is. Really, really not liking this conciousness thing right now.

Metta (185) has posed:
Metta stares.

Then she clears her throat, and starts announcing. "Laaadiiiieeeesssss and gentlemen, we have a WINNER!"

"Congratulations to THEO MORRISON, Deckmaster Extraordinare, who defeated the AMAZING Alpha Packbeast Moonfray in a perilious battle that came down to one shot one opportunity, to seize everything they ever wanted, one moment, and he captured it!"

"... we're gonna need some medics on the field, folks..."

Theo Morrison has posed:
"Good game," Theo calls, wobbly, "well played!"

Everything disappears. Theo ends up on the ground, rather than deposited unceremoniously in a tree or something. He sits down and takes a breather, and then decides to sprawl out instead. The ache is real. He dislikes this 'beaten up' ache. Force fields, he thinks, and moves on.

...to the other question.

"'Stairs?'" he mouths, completely puzzled.

He may never know.